Getting kicked to the curb… Obama’s airplane…
May 9, 2009
Tags: 9/11, Barack Obama, coming out, Dealing with loss, Gladys Knight & the Pips, in the life, New York City, on being gay, relationships, romance, sexual labels, sexuality, Statue of Liberty, World Trade Center, youtube
During the middle of this week, I was out with my son and one of his little friends. As I got into my son’s truck I noticed that she wasn’t her usually jovelle self. I never got a clue until my son said to her over the course of our dinner-
“Oh, don’t start crying.”
To which she responded-
“I can’t help it.”
Shortly thereafter, her cell phoned rang and she answered it. That is when I overheard what the problem was.
She began saying-
“Oooh, boobie. If you take yourself from me…I want be able to hold you. And do for you like I want to…You know how I like to hold you…and yeah cook for you. If you remove yourself I can’t hold you and do that any more.”
I was on the verge of bursting out in laughter because she sounded ridiculous.
In essence, she was begging him to not drop her.
Now, I am not a mean spirited person…but you would’ve had to heard that conversation.
I do not think I could have ever wanted somebody…any humanily body…that bad in my life. Well, maybe I have…
I have been in my share of relationships…but I have never in my life brought myself to begging any one of them to staying with me.
Yes, as hard as it may seem. I have been kicked to the curb more than a few times. And yes, it did hurt. But I never ever begged.
I won’t say that there may have been a time or 2 that I might have liked to have begged. But I didn’t do it.
I have never dropped anybody in my life. But I have been dropped. I do know the pain of being dropped and yet trying to hold on. Believe me…I know it well.
But I never begged.
In my wisdom now…I will tell you this.
Anybody you have to beg to keep is not worth trying to hold on to. And no matter how much you beg…eventually they are going to leave you anyway. So, let them go from the on-set of whatever the situation is and they start telling you it is over. And get on with the mourning process.
Because in the end…you are going to end up mourning it anyways.
So, better to start now rather than later…because you would be just putting it off. And it will certainly be just as painful…if not more.
When somebody wants to leave you…they have their reasons. And unless there is some type of benefit to staying with you…then they’re gone. They may come back for a little while…but sooner or later they will be gone for good.
So, release them and let them go now. Soon enough you will be mourning over the next one.
As I stated in another one of these blogs…I had never been in type of relationship until I was 25 years old. And I have also told you that… I have never dated. Well… any boys… or men. As sometime after becoming 25, I did what they called…‘came out as a lesbian.’
I would say that I never really ‘came-out’ per-se. As my profession wouldn’t let me…that is to say…because I was popular as a radio announcer I never presented myself as being openly gay. Then, of course, there were my parents…and I would have never done anything to embarrassed them. And I did not mind keeping my life to myself…and among my close friends. It was, after all, my life.
I never felt that I had to go around telling everyone what it was that I did in the bedroom…nor I was interested in what other people did in their’s…just as long as it did not involve children.
At any rate, most of my relationships during that period of my life only lasted for about 6 months or under. Once I becamed involved with someone it always seemed to me as though it could not get past 6 months. Finally, one did…because she was determined to be the one to do it. She had told me that on several occasions…that’s how I know. It lasted for all of 9 years…but even then she could only take but so much of me. And finally, she too…kicked me to the curb.
I must say that I did not mind when it happening…but what hurt was how it happened. The relationship had began to turn several years prior…and we had evolved into more or less just being friends. And I could live with that…that is why I didn’t mind that she left…exited my life…and fnally kicked me to the curb.
She was exceedingly beautiful, and perhaps one of the smartest persons I had ever met. She was well read and well versed on every subject…truly. And there was one other thing about her.
She saw in me something that I never saw. And she was always telling me that she saw where I was going to be…and that she was not going to let me embarrassed her once I got there.
So, she was always correcting me…polishing up my speech…reading over my text…pointing out business fawls…and huge personality gafts in me. I must say that without her…I would not be half of what I am today businesswise or otherwise. God took that situation and used it for His good.
But eventually…yes, even she kicked me to curb.
But I never begged.
That relationship had become a bit toxic for me. But as I had never really been in any other long term relationship… and because of my own nature… though I wanted out… I couldn’t say it. So, I’m happy that she ended that relationship for me.
There are just some things perhaps… that I will never be good at. And I think that this is one of them…kicking somebody to the curb.
I can take it…but I don’t think that I could ever dish it out. But nobody better test me on it…because I am not all that forgiving.
Some people, however, are masters at it. But not me.
But thank goodness when it is over…and you have finally gotten over it. As a rule my mourning process…was always for a 2 year period. And many times at the end, I found myself wondering what it was that I had seen in that person in the first place. Except for, of course, the person with whom I was with for 9 years.
Yes, I got over it. Which is usually done by finding someone else.
Isn’t that always the way?
It can really speed up that process.
You lament somebody…until you find somebody new.
I have found…that through those years…having always been the one who was kicked to the curb. I have found…that usually when I got over it…I was over it. I do not look back…but there had been some laments. But It was not on my part.
Time does it, I think. People often have a tendency to look back and wish they hadn’t done something.
So, move on.
Forget about Boobie.
Can anyone you’ve given such a horrid nickname to really be that good?
I think not. And certainly not enough worth begging for.
As I listened to that girl…and if you want me to say…young lady…I could not help but be thankful to God…I no longer go through anything like that any more.
God is good.
Well, I just love Obama.
And yes, he was right to fire whomever that was who thought it was a good idea to fly Air Force One into the protected air space over the Statue of Liberty.
Of course, it was going to bring back memories of 9/11.
And yes…people would believe that New York City was again under attack.
How could they not?
That was the exact same air space…which every New Yorker knows is protected air space…that those airplanes flew over that hit the World Trade Center causing the earth to shake…the buildings to fall…people to jump for their lives…dark clouds of heavy smoke, suet and human ashes…amid streets of rumble …bodies… much havoc… and panic.
That day will never be erased from the minds and hearts of every New Yoker. It was one of the most horrible days that I can remember.
It was a day of much confusion and panic… because no one knew exactly what was going on. Many believing that the world was coming to an end…or that someone had declared war upon us…the darkness that fell upon New York that day left an undelible mark across the world…and particularly among those in New York City…and the tri-state area that will never be removed throughout the history of this country.
And all for a photo op?
That person had to be insane.
I am happy that Obama is letting those who work for him…know that he is no joke. And that he is going to demand from them that they operate as professional and thinking…rational people. And never dare to do anything that might embarrass him.
Got up late today…after 12 noon and do not know what time I finally went to bed…though I laid down thinking I was only going to stretch out for a few minutes. Yes, I am still trying to put the finishing touches on my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, and the promo for youtube.
Well, it is getting closer…and closer to that time. And I can’t wait.
And as a final note…please do not let me be anywhere and overhear any conversations of yours. I do not easedrop…and I do not like getting all up into people’s business. I really do not want to be a party to it…but if you are going to sit up around me and put your business all out in the street. I just might formulate an opinion on it.
Well, enjoy your weekend.
And you know something else…after looking at that first picture of the Statue of Liberty…that is not a woman.
Which reminds me of another time my son took me out this past week…with yet another friend of his. For most of time we sat at that table eating…we were debating whether or not our waitress was a man or woman. I had never noticed anything…and had always felt she was a woman.
But it was my son’s friend who began that whole controversy. And at the end finally I had to concede after taking a more indepth study of the person…arms in particular…that yes it was a man. But she was nice anyway…not matter what. And she…well, he did his job well.
Which reminds me of yesterday, while waiting around in the salon…I happened to overhear a conversation between a young girl and I guess…maybe her aunt or somebody related to her.
The girl was probably no more than 10 or 12. She was disclosing to the older person how someone in her class was talking about her…and calling her ‘gay.’
It made me think of that 11 year old boy who had hung himself and it was reported that he had done so because some kids or one of the other boys at his school was doing the exact same thing…calling him ‘gay.’
I think that it is sad…that such burdens are placed upon children today.
Back when I was going to school…kids taunted you by calling you ‘fat’…or ‘scary cat’…or ‘chicken.’
It is a shame that all these sexual labels and stigmatisisms are placed upon them…these children…teens…pre-teens etc… at such early ages…when it is hard enough just trying to go to school and get through your school lessons.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card. Thank you.