I rarely read the newspaper…and have stopped watching television.   So, the means that I accquire the news these days is usually when I go up over the net and see a news flash.   Most of the time I pay little attention to them…but then there are those which draw me in.  And I find myself having to read the story…and not out of  real interest…but because I find the headline hard to believe.

Today, I came across one of  those attention grabbing headlines.   The headline read something like this…‘Gang Rape and nobody helped.’

How could such a thing happen?

What has happened to mankind?

The incident took place during a high school homecoming dance outside in some alleyway or something on the school grounds…for 2 hours long this raping continued.  And kids stood around watching, while others  jumped in to participate while a 15 year girld was raped repeatedly by up to as many…if  not more than 15 to 20 people in some way participated in this incident and stood watching.

What would possess somebody to stand around and want to cheer on or watch such a thing?

Why didn’t someone call for help?

Or run and go tell somebody?

What is going on in the minds of our young people that they could get caught up in such a thing…and then become party to it by standing around and doing nothing…or worst…jumped and became more than a watcher?

Everyone of those kids should be pulled into court…and facing some type of charges. 

Many were busy lighting up their cell phones taking pictures of the crime…and even videotaping it…a type of criminal voyeurism.   But no one called for help…or tried to stop what was going on.

I cannot imagine such a thing.  There is not anything that I can see going on…that I would not try to stop…and help.  I have seen men fighting their girlfriends…and gotten involved.  I have stopped fights between kids.  I have gotten between mama-bady-daddy drama.   And did it  because  I just can’t turn a blind eye to anything that I feel is wrong…or harmful…or potentially dangerous to someone.

I don’t have a fear of getting involved.  But I know that many people do not think like this.   And I know that many people may feel that I am putting my ownself  in jeopardy.   And if  I stopped to considered that…I might act like everybody else. 

But I am glad that  I do not.  I’ve  got nieces and nephews…and a son  that  I have to think about.   I just don’t want anything to happen to them.    So, let me try to clean up the problems now.   Later might be too late…for them and me.

But how could I not help somebody?

Or try to?

But I have never ran towards anything in order to be an observer…not even as a child.

That is something which I cannot understand.  Why would I run towards gun fire to see what is going on…or just to see who got shot…and laugh excitely about  it?

Now, that is stupid to me.

Or, why would I rush to see people fighting?

That’s dumb. 

If  anything…I go to see if  I can help…and whenever I am near a fight I go to break it up.    Not to laugh and cheer anything on.

But this is the mentality of  people…and it is definitely the mentality of  of  the kids.   Everything is a  joke…or funny.   But somebody being raped…or killed is not a joke.  And certainly not funny…nor is it entertainment.

This kind of thinking is dangerous for all mankind.  If  the new group of adults coming into this world are a bunch of  desensitized robots…uncaring…unfeeling…unthinking…uncompassionate ids….where will this world be?

How safe will any of us be…as the world falls into their hands?

I once had a lover who had been gang raped and sodomized…and who knows whatever else.    But I cannot tell you the impact it left upon her…and her life.   Every time she went to the bathroom she re-lived that situation.   That thing lived with her…it was in her insides and something she could not shake.   Though she was successful…as an actress…and part-time music teacher…that incident marked her private life.    That gang rape greatly colored her life in the in-between time.

She was not big in size…small  stature.  So, I can imagine just helpless she must have felt…not to mention the terror of  it.    She never really talked about it except to say that it had happened.   And I did not push it.

So, how could someone…20 or more people witness something like that and not do anything?

How could we…any of  us be safe if everyone walking around us only cares about themselves…and have no compassion for anyone else?

There is a great need for serious consideration to be given for where will mankind be and the type of world and societies will dominate this planet in the next 20 to 30…or 50 years from now.   Everyting is a joke.   Blood…rape…murder…crimes of every conceivable kind and inconceiveable kind are happening today…and very high rates…escalated rates.  And nobody is paying attention to it. 

And not only a need for serious consideration…but something has to be done now regarding the attitde of  our youth to crime and criminal acts.  And high officials should be concerned now about what affects desensitizing our teens to blood and criminal acts via  computer games, movies, music videos etc.  will have upon the increase of  future criminal acts and the types of crimes prepetrated…and to what degree these crimes are acted out.

Some feel that the lack of anyone getting involved had to do with fear.  But if  their  fear is that great…then they should fear how much worst it is going to be  if  people continue to allow criminal acts to take place without something being done. 

FEAR?

They don’t have any fear yet…let the criminals continue acting out as they are acting out.

Fear only empowers those perpetrating the crimes.  Fear is the biggest thing that they have going for them.  That is why the Bible says….‘Fear not.’

The last thing you want to do…even with an animal…is appear to be affraid.  Or in other words…fearful. 

What happens when fear is taken out of the equation?

Then you have power…because the power ceases to be in the hands of  him or them that are trying  to terrorize you.   It is one of the first lessons you learned really early in life.   Usually while you were in grade school when it came to bullys…who  were  only as big and as bad as you let  them be.   But did you ever finally stand up to one…and saw how quickly the table  change between you and them? 

While living in Chicago…I was at wits end.  I was being stalked…something I would suggest that no one try to do today.  Because I am no longer that person…believe me. 

But I became a nervous wreck under that situation.  I was well on my way to having a nervous breakdown…had it not been for the Lord.  I could not walk down the street without stopping everytime I heard someone walking behind me.   Being  in  a large city like Chicago…this happened quite often as someone was always behind me…just not  normally  the person who was terrorizing me.     In the evening when I went home…I would throw open the door  to my apartment before entering and step in like police detectives…leaving the door wide open behind me.   I would go peering from room to room trying to make sure no one was in my apartment…which definitely left me open for the person to enter into my apartment behind me.  But when fear has you…it has you…and you do not think clearly.   And when you are not thinking clearly…you leave yourself open for anything to happen to you.

I was tormented by fear.   So much so…that by time I finally got through it I vowed never again.  I will never go back to being in that state again.   Under any circumstances…or by anyone.

But at the end…the tables turned.   It took a drama turn…and had not God intervened I might probably be in prison now…and there for the rest of my life.  Because I would have killed the person.  I snapped…and in my snapping the tables turned…and my perpetrated went fleeing from me.  When I think of it now…it is so  Biblical….‘and I will make you enemies flee 7 ways before thee.’   And that is when it ended…when I finally stood up to the person…the phone calls…the following …the threats….everything…and I vowed ‘never…ever again’

And I have never feared anything…or anyone ever again.

And this is how I know how big a weapon fear is. 

And those who use it…count upon it being so.   They dominate neighborhoods…housing complexes…streets…cities…etc…using fear.

So, the more that people cease to do anything…if  indeed they are fearful…most of  them just don’t care.   But those who are fearful of  doing anything to stop or aid somehow a victim of a criminal act…the more you empower those who perpetrate the crimes.  Thereby, in the end causing yourself  a greater harm…because you did nothing.  And those that you fear become stronger and more aggressive.   It is an unending situation…better to deal with it sooner rather than later. 

If nobody cares about your neighborhood…then you should.   Because you do live there too.   And you should never allow anybody to chase you up or down a street…or make you run…or have you affraid to leave your home.

What happens when you become the victim?

And you will…one way or another…if you allow crime to fester unrestrained…or  actively sought to be kept down.

I was pretty sick reading about that man who had imprisoned his own daughter in a very small basement space for over 20 years of her life…breeding kids with her.   And all of this while living just above his daughter in the house with his wife…her mother.  That story made me sick for such a long time…so much so I could not talk about it…much less write about it.  But it is an example of the type of stories that we are reading and hearing about today.  But if this is what is going on today…hideous crimes…stomach turning crimes.  How much worst will these stories become in the future…if this trend continues?

Criminal activity is on an increase everywhere…and  much of it  we  never even hear about until somebody leaks something.  And many others  because the value of the poor people who have  fallen into the hands of some very sick people…well, their lives were just not worth looking into.

So, no investigation were ever initiated.

Take for instance, this story….

It is very unfortunate when police officials pick and chose who is or is not worth looking for.  So many people go missing without the police going out to look for them while they might have been found yet alive.  But if  they…any of  these poor women in this story been some rich socialite, or high city official or lawyer…somebody with some money or some type of clout…no amount of expense or time would have been spared on their behalf.

There is an imbalance in the world…and it stretches all the way around the world.

http://news.aol.com/main/nc/article/bodies-found-in-anthony-sowells/746332

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/27/california.gang.rape.investigation/index.html

http://www.sphere.com/2009/10/30/cries-for-help-not-always-answered/?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sphere.com%2F2009%2F10%2F30%2Fcries-for-help-not-always-answered%2F

I know I have told this story in an earlier blog here… www.bsmith101.wordpress.com.   It is when one night…late  night…actually early morning…when my cousin, Vincent, was on his home from having been out clubing.  As he neared his apartment…in the dark of night he heard a woman scream out for help.   He went running in the direction on the cries and came upon the woman and her perpetrator.  He grab the man and flung him to the ground…and then held him down until the police came.

My cousin was a very tall and handsome gay male.  I have no doubt that most of  his life he had to deal with people snickering about him as he was very effeminate.  But he never hesitated to step aside for a woman…or get get up to offer his seat to a woman or elderly person… or help you remove your coat…or pull out your chair and hold it for you as you sat down.  He was more a man than most ’so-called’ real men.  And not only  was  he a very nice…but also a very decent person…and caring in every way.  He really was someone who would give you the shirt off his back.  And if  it cost him…he gave to you regardless if he had suffer.

You could not have met a better person than him.

He would have never ran towards a fight to stand and watch it…but to pull the people apart.   Nor would he have stood around and watched a young girl or anyone being raped.  I wish I had a picture of  him…to put in this blog.  He was a hero.   And we need more like him.

Reggie Jackson of the New York Yankees was the same way.  His name had found its way  into  news headlines for more than baseball…more than once because of some act of  heroism on his part…when went to the aid of someone.

More people need to do it…and things would change.  Just think of 9/11…what would have happened if the people on those first 2 airplanes had been more like the people on that  3rd airplane?

In looking up information of the gang rape…I happened to come by this story.   Though I had seen this picture of this woman many times…I never knew her story.  But it is sick.  In fact, it is beastiality.

She is a socialite…who married a man…wealthy man.   He had built a jungle on his property and had a great love for his cats…the type known as ‘lions.’   So, as she started to age and as a means of re-capturing his attention she decided to disfigure herself  like this purposely.  She is called the ‘lion woman.’   Because she went under the knife to have her face disfigured into that of a lion.

It is beastiality…in its highest form.

I think she likes it even more now…with all the attention that having it  done has  given her.   Talk about… what women won’t do.   Nobody is worth destroying yourself for. 

What a sick mind…and it truly shows what having too much money and nothing concrete to do with…can bring about.

Finally, in closing… I got an comment today on my Chastity Bono blog…which has been getting a tremedous amount of  hits lately.   This particular person was very disenchanted with my statements regarding Chastity and her sex change.  But he used a very interesting word while stating his point.  

That word was…    ‘transitioning.’  

Interesting…indeed.   

Transitioning…

Evidently, this person  felt that Chastity’s…or Chad as she is calling herself these days…decision to undergo that surgery to remove somethings and to add some other things…   Well, that it is just a simple  little transition in life.   To a degree we  all  have to go through some transitioning  in our lives, I guess… overcoming some disappointments…some losses…some set-backs…etc.   But the  altering of  ones sex is a bit more deeper  than a simple little transitioning phase.  And  I think most would agree with me about that.

I was reading something on a  quakco doctor…one that performs a lot of these type of  operations…sex changes…who is now a supposed woman himself.  After having undergone the operation himself  many years ago…it seems that all of his partners have been women who ‘underwent the operation.’   He became a woman…and they became supposed men.  Which means…they kind of  ended up in the same kind of situation that they would have been in…in the first place had they merely remained what they already were. 

Sick…

I wouldn’t let anybody who is not clear headed put a knife to me.  Most of these surgeons are quakes and definitely…these so-called plastic surgeons. 

We are living in a sick world…truly.   And we should all be concerned about where this world is going…meaning….in which direction it is headed in.   Things are being turned upside down.

And I am not really trying to pass judgement on anyone.  Because we all do crazy things…and years later wake up having  lots of regrets.  I still regret some things…many things in fact.  And in the process I have grown.  But thank goodness I did nothing that committed me for my whole entire life to a big mistake.  I was fortunate…no bless…because many can’t say that.

We can’t change people’s decisions about things concerning themselves…and what it is or isn’t that they want to do.   Nor can we  force things down people’s throats…or should we try.  That is one of the greatest beauties of  God…choice.   He desires that we should have it…and with the hope that we make the right ones.

Well, the day is almost over.  Its been quiet and I am trying to finish up on some things.  I want to complete some things before the new year comes in.  I want my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, to be out and available for sale…my website launched.  And a couple of  other things settled too.

So, I am looking forward to transitioning into 2010…working on some other  and new  things.  And to be well on my way to doing more for the Lord. 

And I look forward to it.

Well, God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2009

There is something seriously wrong in South Africa.

I have read some sad and very sick things in the past couple of weeks… but this thing has to make one wonder about what kind of times we are currently living in.

How can you correct something while committing something worst?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/12/eudy-simelane-corrective-rape-south-africa

What is going on with the thinking in South Africa?

And perhaps other places as well.  From the raping of  infants by grown men claiming because they are trying to avoid AIDS????????????     To raping lesbian women in order to correct their sexuality?????

What kind of  thinking  is  that?

The crimes being  perpetrated are far greater  than any fear of AIDS…  or any  woman’s  involvement in lesbianism.

How can anyone be so overcome with fear that they would destroy the life of an infant?

If  I were that fearful of  AIDS…I would cease to have sex.  I would abstine from it…rather than think to destroy innocent babies.   But this kind of  thinking is a perversion…that stems not from fear of  AIDS…but of  desire to have  sex with babies.   The lie of  the  so-called fear…gives those men some kind of  license to perpetrate that evil thing that has seeped  into their very pours yeilding forth their evil perverted mind’s  endowing them with a fetish to go out and commit  such a horrible crime against innocence.  And like mad dogs…or animals…once they have tasted it…seek it out all the more.

STop lying…it is not about protecting themselves against AIDS…but it is a deceitful  and lustful mind that seeks babies to satisfy an evil supplanted need…not for being with a woman but with babies.   Otherwise, there could never be any kind of satisfaction in that.

And corrective rape???

There is no such thing.

Crimminal acts are crimminal acts.  And they should not be allowed nor  tollerated by any country …or  any group of people.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/mar/13/south-africa-corrective-rape

http://www.newser.com/story/66130/congos-new-horror-men-raping-men.html

Having grown up reading  and  hearing about gay men who had been killed simply because….they were…gay.   Having heard the stories from some of the last surviors of  the Stone Wall bar…that marked the beginning of  gay men…black gay men…deciding not to take it any more and began to fight the New York City police back after years of  being raided and put into jail…simply because they were…    Having participated in Gay Pride…walked in the parades…sat on conference panels…and never once having to fear that my life was in danger because I was…who I was…at  that time.

The thing that most parents of gay children fear…is that something will happen to their child simply because…

http://www.stonewall-place.com/

How sad it is that  gangs of men would seek out a woman…gay women in South Africa and rape them.   And kill then…kill them…because they are…

Many gay men and women…came into ‘the life’…and are in ‘the life’ because of some things which happened to them.  And many times it was rape…that brought them there.

So, how could rape ever be corrective?

How can violence of any kind of way be corrective?

Rape is destructive.

And throughout history it has destroyed… many lives… people… families… etc…

There is something sick about these times.

How do good people…decent people sit around watching this sickness…or hearing about it…without doing something?

MOVE!

Somebody has got to do something.   And satan be defeated.

Many years ago…I almost fell victim to gang rape…but by the grace of God…who has more than once spared me.  I was but a child.  I had no knowledge of  what  was going on.  Because I was too young to process it or anything else really.

I was raped by one man only…but there had to been about 20 of  them who would have had me…had not the man who owned the rooming house where these men were staying…not seen the man who had the little girl by the hand and had walked her into that rooming house.

As the man prepared me for himself and his friends…one of them came to the door and told him that the owner of  the building had come.  The 20 blocked the doorway with some type of  wild commotion …while I was quickly ushered through a back doorway.

I recall it well.  And yes it marked me…and perhaps you can tell that it did when you read my opinion on some things.

But I was fortunate…to have  gotten out… that that man…the owner had seen me being taken inside.   Through the grace of  God…I had been spared…stained perhaps…even  tainted…no doubt.     Today, they not only rape children…but kill them too.

These are sad times…but I guess…   I guess…that since the time that sin came into this world  it has been sad times.

I hardly feel like talking about my book now.  But can’t allow any opportunities to get by without mentioning it to you.

Finally completed my book’s trailer…which is kind of  like a commercial…which I put together for youtube.  So, that you can get a feel of  what my book,  THE BISHOP’S WIFE, is about.

I hope you enjoy your day…it is hard to do knowing that there is so much madness in this world.

God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009

I had thought not to touch this story and just keep my private thoughts on it to myself…and share  them among friends only…and only if they asked me.  But after thinking about it I realized that I could not.

One of the things about coming out of something…is that you sometimes can become highly convicted in your stance against  whatever it is or was that you may have come out of.  Or in other words…things you no longer wallow in…or transgress in…indulge in…or no longer partake in…and was the way you used to be…etc…  So, you emerge from it  being  very strongly opposed to it.

You become very anti- it…about  whatever it was  or is that you used to do…or who you used to be…but now are not…or of  that which you no longer do…or indulge in.    You in fact…move all the way over to the far left side of the bar…and become an extremist regarding that issue…or thing that once had you bounded.  Usually, the farthest  you can get from it…emotionally and opinion-wise as well.

So, having already told you that I was once ‘in the life’  in several other blogs…meaning  I was a lesbian…gay…lived  in the homosexual lifestyle…then I feel I can freely talk on this subject.  But do not ask me anything about drugs or alcohol…or most of anything else…because I know little to nothing on such subjects…outside of the fact of what I have seen regarding the affects of them…or the after-affects of them.  That being said…

Chastity Bono, the daughter of Rock icons Sonny & Cher of the 70’s, decision to alter her sex…and the way that it is being presented in the media…really kind of disturbs me.  Not her decision to change her sex…because that is her choice…but it is the media (the type of coverage) on it that concerns me.

Having had been in the life for many years…some I don’t know…more than 30+ years…I have known many women.  But the people I knew…or should say know…as I still know them…and still converse with some of  them…though I do not hang out with them…but all of them were women who were happy to be women.  In fact…they celebrated their woman-ness… sought out places that were exclusively women… restaurants… bookstores… vacation spots… curise-liners… clubs… etc…

So, Chastity’s decision is not the norm… far from it, in fact.   Many lesbian women have no dealings with men.  And hate them for various historical reasons in regard to their lives and past histories.

Though today, I do see many more young girls trying to really do this thing…that is called ‘butch’ themselves up.  With the hanging pants…and all the other things they do.  But still it is not the norm.  And thank goodness for that.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/11/chastity-bono-becoming-a-man-2/?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl3|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tmz.com%2F2009%2F06%2F11%2Fchastity-bono-becoming-a-man-2%2F

Imagine this world…if  everybody decided that they wanted to change who God created them to be? 

How whacked out this place would be?

Some people would be walking around calling themselves some kind of animal…maybe this is a bit  extreme.  But not that far fetch… considering some of the things that some people involve themselves in.

I can’t image wanting to change my sex to become a man.  I am so happy that I never had that conflict.  I mean I have always wondered…how it is that men go to the bathroom when they do the number 2?  

Do men sit on the toilet and have to hold that piece downward in their hands?   I don’t really know men like that as I was a lesbian.   So, I have no way of knowing.  But I do have a serious thing about germs.  I know I really wouldn’t want to do that.   I would be so afraid that I might touch some filthy toilet seat…if  I were out in public having to do that.   Though  rarely do I go to the bathroom while out.

And yes…I am a bit naive.  I do admit it.  There are many things that I do not know.

And since we are on the subject…   When they…men…stand over the urinals…all of that spattering…all over your pants legs.  Who wants to go through all of that?

Yes, I am happy to be a woman.  Though the men’s bathrooms tend to be a bit cleaner.   I have heard that.

But if…I were a man.  Why would I want to be a woman?

What would be the benefit of that?

I am just so glad that God does the selecting and choosing…as to what we will be.  Could you imagine a more confusing situation than that?   Trying to choose whether your child would male or female.   Though some scientist have tried to come up with a way of doing just that.  And many countries  put a premimium on one sex over  the other…the male species.  Though without women this world would come to a very sudden and complete end.

But  going back to my original train of thought…I just could not see myself as being a man…or having ever wanting to be one.  And thank goodness none of my gay women friends have had to battle with that either…nor any of my male friends.

I can imagine the pain that one must go through having that conflict.  Because that has to be one very big and hard inward battle going on to decide to do such a thing.

The truth of the matter, however, is this…the mind plays tricks…and if you are not careful you will fall into the trap.  Of  believing something that is not so.  

If  you look into the mirror every day thinking that you hate what looks back and that-

“I would look good as a man.”

Or perhaps…as a woman.  Sooner or later you will begin to believe that you should have been born a man or a woman.   You will also start to believe that you see certain characteristics or qualities about yourself…which in reality  have been sub-consciously taken on…and/or implanted in your sub-conscious…which may not  truly be there…and do not really exist.   But because it is what you want to see and  placed in your mind…it is what you will see.  So, if you desire to see certain things…over time you may come to believe that you see them.    

Then in turn you will believe that those characteristics verify the fact that you should be…and are really something else other than what you are.  And so you come to the final conclusion that through some trick or error of  nature you were born a woman rather than a man…or visa versa.

All that kind of thinking is a head-trip…a real mind game.  You will see what you want to see…you will feel what you believe you want to feel.

The mind is wicked…and highly deceptive.

For most of my life I have thought of myself as being unattractive…ugly in fact.  I never wanted mirrors arround…hated to take pictures…etc.   Because I hated seeing me.  It was not until I had to start taking pictures for my book cover…that I came to  realize that I am really not ugly.  In fact, I have to laugh…because of all the years I let get pass me believing myself to be ugly when I was not.

Then too, in my book I made a statement…which made me really have to think.  I state in my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, how I had been stalked at least 3 separate times in my life.  After writing that…I began to think about what it was those people saw in me that would have lead them to want to do that.  When I know many good-looking people…very good-looking…exceedingly good-looking…and they had never been stalked.

So, why me?

This is when I thought…again.

Here it was all those years I never realized that I was not ugly.   Because of my profession and always being the public eye…people gravitated to me.  And people who listen to you over the radio…

Well, they just fantasize  about everything…and they all believe they love you.  But I could not have looked that terribly bad…to have problems with 3 separate people at various times in my history.

But I never really knew until I looked into those pictures for my book…that I wasn’t as bad looking as I had thought  I had been for all of my years.  It is amazing.  But it was a mind game…which for me came about when I started thinking that I was not as good-looking as any of my sisters or brothers…as a young child.  And that shaped my thinking of myself for all of these years.

My mind had me tricked…I saw that which my mind allowed me to see.  And so I lived under that shell all of my life until about 6 months ago.

Let me take a quick station break:  my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE… is coming…. Yes, my book is  coming…I will definitely let you know when it is available for purchase.

Now…back to the subject.

I was deceived by my mind a 2nd time…when I fell into lesbianism.  But thank God…I didn’t sink so far down that I ever thought about mutilating myself…with a sex change.

http://www.usmagazine.com/healthylifestyle/news/chaz-bono-im-enjoying-life-as-a-man-20092910

And yes…I had met some hardcore women…who wore men’s clothes and under garments.  Some even who  thought it manly to beat up their lovers and/or girlfriends.  But I never heard any one of them talk about changing their sex…or wanting to do so…no matter how much outwardly they tried to emulate men.

Yes, though we were living in confusion…we were far from being that confused.  And I thank God…from removing me totally from it.  I no longer dwell in a ball of confusion…and under the cloud of lesbianism.

But the article that I read of  Chastity Bono’s decision to under-go a sex change was so accepting of it…as though it were a natual transition in life…something acceptable. I would hate to think that any poor child or teenage or another adult currently battling with issues over their sexuality…should read that  article and think that such a thing is either natural…or really acceptable.  Not acceptable to you or me…but for themselves.  As it goes against nature.

And there have been many articles and books written on the subject…some opposing and some pro.  But there have been many regrets regarding that whole process.  And I have seen much sadness and anguish among those fighting that battle.

As I mentioned in at least 2 other blogs…I did know a guy…who when I met him was in the process of under-going his sex change.  I met him as the women he presented himself  to me to be…as he had started coming to Salsa Soul Sisters meetingsa lesbian organization in New York City…and we all at the time  believed that he was a woman.  But from the time I met him…and I cannot call him ‘her’…I would be lying if I said that.  But from the time I met him…in the back of my mind I always felt that something about him was out of whack.

I have met many gay guys…but had never met one trying to become a lesbian before.  And neither had anyone else in Salsa Soul Sisters either…until we all met him…who presented himself as a woman to us all.   But when they found out…nothing could hold them back…those black lesbian women.

One night those women stormed into Salsa and turned that meeting out…because they were not having a biological man…turned lesbian…or turning lesbian…within their organization and on their board.  And they meant every word of it…and voted that night ‘that no one born biologically a man could ever sit on the board of Salsa Soul Sister, Inc. or become a member of  Salsa.’     That was their sentiment…and they were right.  I did agree…and still agree even though I am no longer a member.

The fact is…regardless of the pills and surgery…you will always be what God created…biologically.  You can change your name…your hair style…your walk…talk…even your game…or anything  and everything else you want to change.  But underneath it all…your real DNA…can’t be changed.  It can be confused…I guess with all that medication.   But  who you are…is who you are.  It is who you really are…and that can’t be changed no matter what.     No matter how much you dislike it…or dislike yourself.

I don’t know when I saw it…but it was on television.  I think it was a Barbara Walters’ special.  It was one of the saddest and most horrifying shows I had watched in my many years of watching TV.  It was a show on parents allowing their children to cross-dress.  By this I mean…there are parents who are allowing their very young pre-teen children…sons or daughters to decide that they were not whatever sex they had been borned…and dressing like whatever they wanted to be.

It was horrifying.  Truly, horrifying.

It made me sick to see a  4 or 5 year old being allowed to demean himself  or herself  in that fashion.   And they looked hideous.

At such young ages children being bred in a continuous state of high confusion…and their own parents abetting them in doing so.  It was terrifying…absolutely terrifying.

In one of those stories, Barbara visits with a family who allows their little boy to dress as a little girl…long hair…the whole 9 yards.   The little boy has a baby sister.  Her cup and everything about her is pink…while everything for him was blue…do note the word ‘was.’

The boy wanted the pink cup…the pink this and the pink that.  Well, it really doesn’t  take a rocket scientist to figure that thing out.  The little boy had become jealous of his little sister.  I don’t know…maybe the parents stopped doting on him and became pre-occupied with his little sister.  So, he of course wanting his parents attention once again…he might desire to become his little sister…or some how take her place in order to regain their…his parent’s attention and love again.

So, what does his little confused mind decide to do?

He starts wanting what she has… her things… clothing…etc.  He develops a desire to replace her… by becoming her.   Thus, a desire to be a little girl… as in his confused little mind he views it as being the root cause and remedy to his little situation. 

It is not at all that he really wants to be a girl.  But he desires his parents’ attention again.   Which if his parents had taken any time with him…it would obvious to them.   That the love he felt that they have taken from him and given to the little girl…his sister…he wanted it back.

Then there is this other side of the coin.  If the little boy doesn’t like boy stuff…toys, sports etc..

So, what if  he doesn’t grow up playing baseball…or basketball…or watching sports.  It doesn’t mean you have to put your stamp all over him…and say-

“I know what…we’ll call him girl.”

And  dress him up like one.

Yes…I do know that some gay guys…and even some women… claim that they knew they were gay from the craddle.  But closer examination on the matter…might bring them to some other opinion if they really sat down and looked back at things in their history that they may have forgotten.

It is a mind game.  Some kids grow up thinking that they are the biggest and the baddest.  Some that they are stupid and don’t know anything.  Some believing that they are beautiful…some that they are smart.  It can vary depending upon who they are…what their social-economic backgrounds… neighborhoods… family… schools… churches…etc.. and what is going on within their home.   But over time it almost always changes…our preception of ourselves…and the world around us…and how we view ourselves in it.

Imagine a little child…4 or 5 years old trying to fight that battle everyday.   Of  having to go to school everyday…and trying to interact with other children…dressed as a little girl when he is a little boy.  It is a ticket to suicide…or drug abuse…and self hate.

Most gay guys can’t even deal with issues from their history…family rejection…etc. when they reach older ages.   They battle those issues most of their lives.    Which is why many of them suffer from alcholism, drug addictions…and indulge so heavily in all types of dangerous sexual practices.

Yes, sadly…I have seen and heard many gay people…mostly men…crying over their broken relationships with their families…endless cycle of  broken love relationships…etc.   Crying over their  lives wreked in pain and sorrow.   Dealing with dying lovers…ex’s …rejections…regrets… etc…etc…  It is hard no matter whether straight or gay to deal with such things.  It’s hard.  But then to have the added burden of  being rejected by your classmates… churches…and society too…makes it all the more worst…and painful…and as a kid?

All across the gay community there are vast levels of self-hate…fear…and self-destruction.  It is sad…very sad.  So, how could any loving or caring parent indulge their child  in any such way as to let them suffer with such thoughts…and conflicts that they…themselves have probably placed upon their child in the first place?   Of which the child may end up battling and trying to fight…and deal with for the rest of their lives.   When all they…the parent or parents of that little boy… had to do was get rid of all that ‘pink and blue’ stuff…and stop setting up stereotypes…and road blocks for their son.   And tried to give him…their  son some quality time.   Rather than to assist him into the further creation of confusion in his little life…by buying him girls clothes etc…and engage him in trying to emulate something which the child is not.  He is not a girl…nor a joke.  Or a plaything…he is a real person…who is on his way to  being badly damaged.

Being a woman encompasses a variety of things.  We do and think differently from the male species.  Our tendencies towards giving, sharing, helping, family, responsibilities, listening, conversing with others, aiding, depth of compassion, commitment, emotions, emotional strenght etc…and so much more are all quite different from men.   It is  far more than one group having a different set of sex organs from the other.  And all the pills and operations…and therapy in the world is not going to change this.

I personally  think that that particular Barbara Walter’s special should have never been aired.  There are some things better not put out there for public consumption.  People start to get simular ideas…and start following suit…copying eveything they see and ear.   We sadly live in a world of people who have  stopped thinking for themselves…and merely seek to duplicate…follow…and do likewise.  And for some people  it is just simplier to assist certain behavior rather than try to work to stem it.

Isn’t that a horrible why to be?

Even worst…to have that kind of parent…or parents.

We would all have been in trouble with those kind of parents…that were that Barbara Walter’s special.  Many parents from time to time feel helpless…but they do not give in to their helplessness.  No, another force kicks in…and they step it up…to the next level.  Parents have to…because all parents are faced with challenges when it comes to their children…at some point or other.  And you just can’t throw up your hands saying-

“I just can’t do anything.”

At that point…some people know that there is one other thing.  They start to pray.  There is power in it.

Finally, no matter what  Chastity’s decision concerning trying to alter her sex…she will always be known as woman…who had a sex change…if she proceeds with the operation and all those pills (which she probably already has done seeing how they have released the story).    But she will never be known as ‘a man’…no matter what she does to herself.  People may pretend…but in the back of their mind will be the fact that she was and will forever be…woman.

Well, in between, Chastity’s decision to change her sex…and that supposed man having another baby (another subject that I said I was not going to touch…as I have already given him rather her too much of my time already)…it has been a very busy week.

In the end Chastity will always be a woman who had the operation.  That is how people will see her…never as a bonafided man.   That only comes by birth.  It is the way people think.  And it is true really… and we should keep it that way. 

Besides, if you are truly unhappy with yourself…do you really believe that changing your sex is going to do it?

I say no.

True happiness is something that you have to find within you first.  Putting up pretenses…or  making superficial changes…only brings about more unhappiness… and sadness. 

How can you feel happy…when you put up a bunch of pretenses?

I have sat on the trains (the subway) in New York and watched the drag queens.   Unless they were out partying and hanging with friends did I see any gaiety.  Most of  time when I saw them…I saw a lot of saddess…emptiness…and loneliness.

I also talked to some and knew some.  It is how I knew of the inner conflicts.  Which a lot of gay women have too.  I didn’t I did…but I guess I must have.  Because I am so happy that I am out of the life…and have no intentions of ever going back into it.

It is a hard life…and if  the  truth be told.  Life is not  easy for most of us.   And all of  us have found something which we don’t like about ourselves.   

But we deal with those things without trying to destory ourselves in the process…or tear ourselves apart.    And that is how I feel about sex change operation.   It is very much like  trying to go against the grain.

One other observation…  Chastity’s girlfriend really looks a bit like her mother.

Well, enjoy your weekend.   And I am still trying to catch up on my sleep.

God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009

A few years ago…really it has been more like….many years ago a friend had a conversation with me concerning the town that he grew up in.  He told me something which totally surprised me and of which I have never spoken about until now.  He said-

“In the city where I grew up…the older men would have sex with all the young boys.”

He said this to say…that the older men in his hometown preyed upon the very young boys in that town.  And I knew without asking…that he had been one of those young boys.

It is hard to believe that such things could happen…and that such things could possibly go on. 

Could you call it sexual perversion?

Or some kind of sickness?

I have been looking around town and I am seeing more and more young girls involved in lesbianism…and gay young men.  One day while shoveling the snow last week 2 young women just happened to pass by…and I could see that one of them could have possibly have been gay.

I have to clarify this just a bit…I don’t want to say that she was ‘gay‘…because I have a friend who accuses me of ‘always calling everybody gay.’   It might be a bit hard to believe…but even I have had to come face to face with it. 

And you know what?

Yes, I am a bit homophobic.  Gay most of my life…and now finding myself homophobic…and if the truth be told…I have always been so.  There is no rhythm nor reason to it.    I am odd…to some degree.  I really am.

So, I work hard at trying not to be homophobic…and I don’t think I am homophobic in the classical sense.  Not as most people know or understand homophobic to be.  But because once I came out of the life…I had even become somewhat scornful.  And that is the problem with sin.  I have seen it in people who were involved in drugs or alcohol.   They are quick to hurl words like “that ol’ crack addict’….or ‘that ol’ bum’ or ‘ol’ drunk.’

Yes, falling into scornfulness once you come out of being something  yourself…is quite easy.  And it is a danger.

I felt for my friend and have felt for him for many years.  He seemed to always be in need of validating his manhood.  And I have no doubt that it was because of his early experiences.  Those men were paedophiles.

As children we have no power to dictate what will or will not happen to us.  The only power we have is over our future.  There is much we might have liked to have changed in our past…but that time is gone.  And there were things and times we would love to take back and changed even today.  But that too may be impossible. 

Some children carry guilt with them forever.  And really we all do…we are just not as scared as some other children are or were.  But we all have been scared…and no matter what anyone says-

“We do carry these scars forever.”

However, I could see that one of the young ladies, of the 2 who walked by as I was shoveling… by her apparel seemed to be dressed a bit…well…shall we say ‘non-feminate.’   Which is something you really cannot go by today…since a lot of girls are choosing to wear their clothes baggy and with pants hanging down too…like most of their male counter-parts.  Something which I may address later…as I have much to say on the matter.

 So, lets say she looked ‘AG.’    I learned that this past summer from a couple women friends of mine in New York.  It stands for ‘aggressive.‘

So, I thought as I had glanced up and saw the 2 young women that they might have been ‘gay.’   A few minutes later the non-AG one came walking back alone but along beside was a car of guys trying to talk to her as their car drove  beside her…and I heard her say-

“Yeah, but my girl….and my girl…my girl…”

And I knew that that was what she called her friend…the other girl whom I had seen her with earlier.  But in my day we called them ‘our lover.’  But everything changes over time…even me..  And I am so happy that I am.

But I have noticed increased numbers of gay people…perhaps it is that I am more keyed in to them than most people.  I don’t know…but it seems to be on a raise.   And I have to be concerned. 

I am not concerned because I am afraid of gay people…or that I have a fear that they are seeking to turn the world gay…or that there is some master plot or plan somewhere.   No, that is insane.  

My fear is for my friends…those whom I left ’in the life.’   People whom I loved…and shared many good times with.   Women who help me to grow up and mature…and how to celebrate my ‘femininity.’  Not all women in the life are hard core and butchy…far from it.  And I feel for the young boys and girls who are falling into a lifestyle…that I used to be in.  I am concerned about them.

I had fun while I was in it…but I was never happy.   I thought that was who I was…but it was not.   It is funny I always felt that I was happy though…but I never knew how unhappy I was in that life until God pulled me out it.

I have heard many proclaim that it is a ‘gene’…a ’sickness’…a ‘chromosome.’  But I know it is none of those things.  There are many desires we fall prey to.  Many things that we become curious about.  Things we seek to find out more about…experiment with.  They are choices that we choose to make.  To do…or not to do…that is the question?

When I used to hang out, I used to hear the gay guys talking and laughing about the guys they used to pick up.  The joke was they would go out to find the most manly men they could find only to take them back to wherever…and the men would lay down and throw their legs up in the air looking for the gay guys to do them.  The gay guys would do what they call ‘howl’…they would howl on end at that.   Meaning they laughed themselves almost to tears…because they found it to be so funny.   And I imagine it was funny.

After all the gay guys were the ones who were ostracized for being ‘gay.’   And here were these big burly mucho men…quick to lay down and give it up in a heartbeat.  Which reminds me of my cousin, Vincent, who used to tell me stories. 

Vincent told me how he used to look out his apartment window and see the telephone man up the pole…how he would catch the man’s attention then with his finger indicate ‘come here.’   He said the man hurried down the pole and into his apartment. 

Vincent told me of another time…when the UPS man delivered a package to his apartment and how he had invited the UPS man in for a cup of tea.  And I am sure that you can guess the rest.

These stories may seem a bit amusing to you.  But what they show is that there is something wrong…and it is not always with those whom you or many others would chose to blame.  Gay people take the wrap for many things.  But they are not the culprit…nor does the fault lie within them.  But, however, it is those people who would never call themselves ‘gay’…who parade around as though they did not indulge in such things…and are the biggest perpetrators.  It is these people who prey upon children…not gay people.  Like all those old men in that town where my friend grew up…men who had families and pretended to be both godly and honest decent…upstanding men…while all the while ruining the lives of young children.  These people who prey upon children are paedophiles…they are sick beyond understanding. 

They are Benjamintes.

There is a book in the Bible…and at the end of this book there is this story about a priest who goes after this harlot which has left him to return to her family.   Claiming to love her so much that he couldn’t do without her, the priest goes after her and upon setting out to return to wherever he came from…it turns dark.  And he decides to turn into a city of his own people feeling that he and his woman will be safe there for the night.  While there the priest encounters an old man who invites him to come and spend the night in his home…as he informs the priest that it is not safe to sleep in the streets of that city. 

Shortly after the man and priest enter into the old man’s house…a group of men pay a visit to the old man’s home.  They bang on the door and demand that the old man send out the priest…so that they ‘may have their way with him.’  It was a sad story…that ended in the woman being casted out into street to the men who had come seeking to have sex with the priest.   That city was not Sodom or Gomorrah.  Those men were men of Benjamin…they were Benjamites.  And that city was plagued with morbid men corrupt in their nature.

I don’t know what has prompted me to write this.  It is hard to do so…but it is not anti-gay…if anything it is anti-those who pretend that they are not something much worst.  And unlike that woman years ago who came out against homosexuality…I have forgotten her name (Anita something or other…the one who  caused gay people everywhere to ban drinking orange juice back in the ’70’s)…and it was soon discovered that it had all been because she had found out that her husband was gay.  I am not her…I don’t have those kind of problems.  But I am concerned  about some things.

Maybe it is that I am concerned about how gays are always under attack.   Or maybe I am concerned about all the lies concerning homosexuality and lesbianism.  Or maybe I am concerned about all the confusion in this world.  Or perhaps I am just confused as to what I really concerned about.

I don’t even know if this thing even will make any sense to anyone.  I really don’t. 

Perhaps, I am just too analytical.

I loved my cousin Vincent dearly.  He was more manly than most men…yet I know for most of his life he had to fight being jeered and called names because he was so effeminate. 

One night late while returning to his apartment a woman screamed out in the distance and my cousin Vincent went running to save her.  He grabbed and threw down the man who had been attacking and attempting to rob and possibly rape that woman.  And he held that man down on the ground until the police came.  No one gave him a metal.  No one put a star on the walk way outside where he used to live.   He went running in the dark to recue a woman who had screamed out into the dark of night for help.  He did what a lot of men…so-called ‘real’ men would not have done…and he did it without thought of injury to himself.   That was the kind of person he was.

Vincent was the kind of guy who held the door open for women to walk through.  He would pull out your chair so you could be seated.  He helped women with their coats…and he would get up out of a seat to offer his seat if he saw her standing.  He was a gentlemen…worth more than 50,000 or more of the so-called real men. 

He would give the shirt off his back to friend or a stranger…and family.  He was always giving…and quite caring.  Quite handsome and always nice…and friendly.  I never once saw him angry…though I had seen him hurt.  And knew when he was in pain.

Vincent died from A.I.D.S. many years ago…and I am sure that when those men, the telephone man and UPS man…finished their day’s work whatever day that was when they paid Vincent a visit…that they went home to their wives or their girlfriends…pretending.

Speaking of which, I went to dinner the other night with my son and one his church friends…a young lady.  They told me a slightly amusing story about another church girl.

“Oh, she don’t know God didn’t bless her with that car so she couldn’t drive nobody nowhere,” said my son’s friend who was out with us.

Then she dropped the bomb saying how their mutual church friend had just got a brand new car and was out driving one day.  The girl told how my son and her mutual friend just happened to come across this boy whom she used to go to school with many years ago.  So, seeing the boy was walking the girl offered him a ride to wherever he was going.

So, the boy got in…the girl then commence to ask the boy if he was interested in watching a movie and how she would cook him some dinner.  The boy agreed and while the girl was in her kitchen throwing together the pots…cooking turkey wings, macaroni & cheese, warming some greens, making corn bread and things…the boy came and told the girl that he had felt something down in her car.  So, she gave him her car keys.

Yes, the boy stole the woman’s car…while she was busy as a bee singing and humming to herself as she slung together her pots cooking…and thinking about what she was hoping to get in between the movie. 

Now, how foolish was that?

As the girl at our table continued to talk…she began talking about herself and how she only ‘likes older men.’  Now, I am my son’s mother and we are out with a friend of his whom he just happened to offer if she would like to join us.  I don’t know but when I was growing up there things that I would have never talked about in the company of one of my friend’s mother. 

I find young women today lacking.  They seemed to be overcome by a strong desire to only have sex…and if they are not having sex then all they want to do is talk about it.   They consume themselves and their conversations with nothing else. 

The young lady who had joined us at the restaurant was suppose to be in church…and her friend that they, she and my son had told the story about…the one who’s car was stolen.   Well, she was the church secretary.   Their minds are as corrupt as everyone else’s.  The issue of sex is such a huge issue…even in the church.

There is indeed much to be concerned about.   And I am, therefore, concerned…

God bless…and thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009 

I was shocked when I read this story in Vibe magazine.  I would have never realized the things that they were going through…and had gone through as they were all growing up.  It is a shame some of the things that many children are forced to endure. There is little wonder why some have such anger and rage years later.

On the surface who would have thought what hidden darkness they had locked within.  Family secrets can be some of the worst kind of secrets.

They were one of the hottest family groups along with the Jackson’s to emerge from Motown.  It is funny how success usually is often rooted in so much pain, sorrow and personal sadness.

A large family of 8 boys and 2 girls…Bunny, El, Randy, Mark and James made up the DeBarges, the Motown singing group, who left home from Detroit by way of Grand Rapids, Michigan to LA in search of success…but they were haunted by many sad memories that perhaps they had been trying to escape…but found that they couldn’t.

Two other members of the family made up part of the group called Switch which was also hot during the early 80’s, Bobby and Tommy.

Tortured by the deep dark secrets they all shared and carried into their success in the 80’s, they were colored by a past that ultimately claimed most of their lives.   Their lives have been left shattered…and though the church could not and did not help shield them from the events that were taking place in their home as very young children…but over time some have found healing and renewing in God.

You can read the full story below.  It is sad…and painful to read. 

When I think of the times that a friend and I used to rush home to catch them being showcased on TV shows, and how we used to laugh at them.  Though we loved their music and them…it always struck us, me and one of my friends, that the boys…were well rather ’sweet.’   And I am shamefully sorrowful of that now.

We should not poke fun or laugh at others.   And I will not blame it upon my youth nor on the lack of proper home training.

I never laughed at people with disabilities but I have seen people who have…and I have seen them do it openly as I was growing up.  These people, of course, were not in our family…because my parents were not that kind of people.  Plus they would not have ever allowed it of us.  Nor did they indulge in gossiping or talking or laughing about anyone.  Yes, they would occasionally chuckly about things.  But they were never mean spirited or degrading people, nor did they find fault with people or talk or laughed about anyone.  

There are some things which some people feel is okay to pick at or make fun of about other people.  But if you really think about it…that could never be further from the truth.

I laughed at those boys, fine as they were but yet so effeminate…I found humor in that. 

Should we laugh at such things and pick fun at people?

No.  We should not.

And I regret having ever done it…which is why I am writing this blog.

I have never liked preachers doing such things as finding humor at the expense of gay people.  It seems that within the church everything else is sacred accept poking fun and making jokes about gay people.  They do not do that with any other sin…prositution, lying, stealing, murdering…none of these things find their way into a Sunday morning sermon or any other time…as a joke. 

Then why should they find it okay to make jokes about gays, lesbians or homosexuals? 

And really the church is loaded with…  Well, it is loaded with some of everything.  And a lot of times from the top to the bottom…somebody is doing something which they should not be doing or acting out in ways which are not Godly. 

And I am not trying to come down on the church or incite a war of words.  But the church is full of everything.  It was true in Jesus’ time and it is still very true today.   The church is even full of predators.  Not so long ago at least 10 Priests in the upper North East, the Massachusetts…Boston area were found quilty of such acts…leaving in their wake hundreds of very shattered and broken lives.

In Connecticut a preacher impregnanted a 12 year girl that he had been routinely been engaging in sexual incourse with.  Since she was 12 when she had the baby…she had to be 11 or maybe 10 if not younger when he first got started. 

This was the plight of the DeBarge children.

Without a doubt there should be some level of sensitivity with regards to making jokes that are belittling and unkind to anyone at any time.  And particulary any jokes about all those lost in sin…any sin.   The church is suppose to loving and giving in spirit.   Yet, it is sactuary for all types of activity as well.

Once well sitting in the choir as a young teen…I was seated beside this boy.  His father was preaching less than…I don’t know…less that 4 or 5 feet away.  And this boy produced from under his choir robe his……..and tried to pulled my hand across to touch it.   I at the time did not quite understand anything about erections or anything else.   But that was what he had…and his father was preaching right there beside us as his son did this one Sunday morning…in front of the whole church.  It is hard for me to believe that no one sitting in the church that Sunday saw our exchange as we were seated on the front row of the choir facing outward…must less seeing what he had in his hand.

Nor, will I ever forget the night I dropped this woman home following church service  that night…and this was not so very long ago.  As I pulled in front of her building and she was about to get out of my car she suddenly turned to me and kissed me in a way no woman had ever kissed me before.  And having come out of lesbianism…that should
 speak volumes as to how and the way this woman kissed me. But I didn’t say anything.  I didn’t respond.  She got out and I drove home determined to not even think about what that woman had just done.  And I didn’t.

I didn’t think about it…for a couple of reasons.   For one thing because I didn’t want to dwell on that kiss.   For another reason I just did not want to obsess  about it.  I felt it was a trap…orchrastrated by the devil to try to lure me back into a life I had now left behind.  And I was not going to fall for it.  So, I shoved that kiss and that woman aside in my mind…and never bothered to linger there thinking about it…now or then.

But the church is full of a lot of things…like whoremongers, adulterers , liars etc.   None of which I see any humor in…as all sin is sin and shameful.  But for some reason people in the church really like to poke  fun and laugh about gay people…and no one seems to find that to be offensive…but me it seems. 

It is almost as though it is open season on gays in most churches while all else is taboo as something to joke about.  None of it should be something to joke about.  Perhaps it is that none of them were ever gay…or maybe they just do not want to confess to it.  But there must be some reason for this.

Here were these children, the DeBarges,  growing up in the church and such nasty things were going on in their own home from the earliest of ages.  And I laughed at them when they finally hit the stage and started performing.

They were the most beautiful family of siblings…as were those Jacksons. 

Fine!  

Fine!  

Fine!  

And in case you do not understand what ‘fine’ means when used here this way…it means that they were fantasticly handsome, terribly good looking etc…etc…etc…

But those boys acted so gay. 

I didn’t try to figure it out…I didn’t try to see anything other than that.  And it struck me as being humorous…and that is as sad as whatever else they had to go through…if not more so.   That we should all be so small…especially me…to have thought that that was humorous.  

I sincerely apologize for that now.  Not just because I now have a part inkling of their story, afliction and pain that they were forced to suffer…but because it was wrong of me to do so in the first place.  And particularly because of all the misery and heartbreat they have all had to come through and to have to bear in their lives very young children. 

I cannot imagine how hard it is for a child to grow up having a father who is a predator…and using his own children sexually for most of their years growing up.

SHATTERED LIVES…

In August of 1996, Bobby DeBarge at the age of 39 died after years of alcohol and drugs abuse.  He died from complications AIDS related.  He was named after his father, Robert Louis DeBarge, a man who frequently sexually abused his own children beginning very early in their childhood.  Bobby was a multi-talented song writer, lead singer and musican.  In 1988 both he and his younger, Chico, were arrested for attempting to traffic drugs, they served 6 years in prison.

In October of this year, 2008, El DeBarge was back in court on more drug charges, vandalism and domestic violence.  Though for many years El was able to not fall prey to the demons chasing him, as well as, his other sisters and brothers…but following Bobby’s death and other family issues, El too soon fell to the demons chasing them all.

 Bunny today is free of drugs and alcohol.  She is saved and a mother.  She is living her life as a Christain and has just finished writing a book called “The Kept Ones,” a tell all autobiography.

http://profile.myspace.com/bunnydebarge

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/hyhonline/2008/04/01/the-kept-ones-with-bunny-debarge-1

James DeBarge who was once married to Janet Jackson for a few weeks before her family had the marriage anulled, is also saved and living his life as a Christian, as well is their mother, Etterlene DeBarge.

http://www.blackvoices.com/blogs/2008/11/06/chico-debarge-singer-talks-drug-abuse-troubles-with-the-law-and/

You can CLICK the LINK S below to read the whole VIBE magazine story.

Their mother Etterlene DeBarge, which is also Bunny’s real name, is 72 with her own page on myspace.

http://www.myspace.com/mamadebarge

http://www.vibe.com/news/news_headlines/2007/08/debarge_ep_1/

http://www.vibe.com/news/news_headlines/2007/09/debarge_epi_2/

http://www.vibe.com/news/news_headlines/2007/09/debarge_epi_3/

Their lives have not been easy.  But through it all they have a testimony of survival, defying the odds and are attemptng to rise above, and through it all to once again unite as a family victorious through Christ Jesus.

In the  words of James DeBarge in the last youtube video clip below-

“Oh, Lord…I don’t care what it sounds like…or how I come off.   I just want somebody to be saved.”

Child abuse hurts…and in many cases it ruins people’s lives.  Many never recover from it.  Some just learn how to go on.  But we all remember it…and it does remain with us for the rest of our lives whether it appears on the outside or not.

God bless…and…

…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com

     

CLICK the above screen a COUPLE TIMES if it fails to play at first attempt…and ignor the text which appears on the screen.

http://onedroprule.org/about4089.html

http://www.debargenetwork.com/

God bless…and thanks for reading and  …pass it on  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2008

It has been no secret to me…and it should not be to you.   I don’t know if this statistic is true or not…but I would hope not.

Nearly one million teens get pregnant each year…this is an absolute outrage.  And what are we all doing about it?

These young girls are receiving all the wrong messages and there is little being said about it.  And forget…about ‘being done about it.’  Bcause that isn’t happening either.

 The teen pact in Massachusetts was a shocker and should have created  far more than just a wake-up call.  It should have had people rolling out of their beds onto the floor and leaping up yelling-

“We’ve got to do something about this.”

But it did not.  It was merely a hot topic for the moment…and then it was gone off the horizon. 

Did anyone really become outraged about it?

What has since been done?

What heighten interest in this topic has been generated?

How many encounter groups have been formed to sincerely meet this problem head-on?

 How many teen peer groups on the subject of abstinence have been formed?

Where is the concern on this topic?

Teen sexual habits as they are today are highly serious problems.  There is more at stake than a boy and girl getting together sexually.   The problem is bigger than that and no one is really or sincerely looking into this problem. The issues and the impact are huge.

There are health issues involved…all kinds of dieases…many of which are life long.    But this problem is also going to put millions more on the welfare rows. 

Under age girls becoming mothers does impact us all and it should be all of our concerns.  It is a moral issue…but it is even greater than that.  And this concern is not only to what it will cost the states and eventually the federal government of this country, but there should also be a concern that these young girls are no more than mere kids themselves.  Beyond a point the level of resentment does arise.  And these kids have no knowledge that they are severely limiting their future life goals, expectations and levels of success…and choices in life. 

Having a child at a very age is a handicap…grown-up people (adults) learn to rework their schedules around their family (children) needs…but young kids do not have the luxury of doing this. 

While the kids are suppose to be busy going back and forth to school every day…they now have to balance their education with trying to parent babies or very  young children.  This can be a very daunting task for young parentsas babies and/or children take up a lot of time.  It is even a very difficult task for the most grown-up adults to handle.

Children take time…and lots of it.  They also require responsible and reasonable people in the care of them.  Young girls under the age of 12 of even into their 20s or 30s many times are not ready for such a heavy responsibility nor the sacrafices that becoming a mother calls for. 

Instead of chasing behind the gay population and trying to change them, and trying to get them to conform when laws are being created every day to encourage just the opposite…we should try working instead to make an impact in an area where we all have some level of control and a voice and that is among our children.

Oftentimes, the argument about education gets down to ‘the home’…well, this argument certainly is a ligitmate argument in this debate…as things in ‘the home’ can lead to effecting change. 

Whether parents realize it or not…they can regulate their homes, the type of messages that their children are receiving, what is watched and listened to in ther homes…etc…   But it is far more involved than just putting a chip in the cable system to block certain programming.  It means getting your child’s face off myspace, out of facebook and whatever or wherever else it is…or whatever means they use to to make contact and meet people with whom they are enaging in sex…which on the face of it alone even sounds and looks wrong. 

I personally don’t believe that anybody worth meeting is on the internet.  You, if you are an adult, you should not indulged in it…and certainly your children should not.  Yes, the internet has it values and good uses, but it also has a lot of risk factors…and safety issues when it comes to your children, teens…and even for older people who never learned that….yes, the world can be full of evil people who lie and try to sway you into dangerous places and situations.  Predators are real…and none of you should have to find this out first hand.

But the kids are not alone when it comes to the internet.  There are tons of grown up supposedly adult people who are doing the exact same thing.  They have pages on myspace and pictures in facebook etc.  And it is all wrong if you use it like a game of Russian roulette.

There is little wonder why the kids are in the situation that they are in if the adults are setting the examples or…and I hate to say this…or if the adults in their lives are following their examples…the kids examples in meeting people and becoming sexually involved with just anybody and everybody via the internet. Or even outside of meeting them over the internet.

What in the world is this world coming to?

Casual sex???

What is the world is that?

There is too much tied in to sex…just the inter-personal nature of it alone.  Call it what you want…but sex is not casual…it is just too intimate for that. 

It is all wrong.  WRONG….WRONG.

And of course, I know that the kids are hooking up at school too.  Let’s face it now…even I at some point was a kid.  But I never was stupid…and there is just no other way to say that.  Nor was I…or have I ever been common.

There is something seriously wrong when a bunch of young girls are busy thinking more about getting pregnant than they are about the dress they plan of wearing to their class prom…or how they are going to get their mom to give them the money to go to movies next weekend. 

There is something wrong when sex is the only thing on the fore-minds of young kids in school…more so than trying to study for an exam or thinking about their futures. 

They do not care about an exam…or evidently their futures.  No, they do not.  Because if they did they wouldn’t be busy trying to get pregnant…or thinking about getting pregnant.

GETTING PREGNANT?

That has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard. 

When I was growing up people tried hard to avoid getting pregnant.  But then he standards of the day have been drastically lowered as opposed to those of yester-year.  In fact, there are none…not today.

When did getting pregnant at a very early age become a badge of honor in this country?

And how can these kids be expected to do any better than the people they are watching and trying to emulate present these kinds of things to them day in and day out?

These kids are obsessed with images of the people they consider to be so-called stars.  These so-called stars…they read about them, skim through the web to catch photos of…watch them in the movies or on television…and/or listen to on their iPods.  And these people are their role models…whom they desire to emulate in every possible way…down to having babies by this one and by that one over there.  And they never see a marriage ring or a wedding band. 

No commitment…

That is the world our many of kids live in…and many adults, as well.  That is why they can search facebook or myspace…and go from one person to the next.   Because they live in a world of ‘no commitment.’   There parents are not committed to them.  There teachers aren’t committed to them.  Their schools aren’t committed to them…the government…society…nothing. 

So, what do you expect…when a stranger over the internet shows them more interest than you do?  

Even if it is for a hot minute.  To them it beats none at all…no matter what they end up having to sacrifice.

Parents have got to invest time in…and quality time with their children. They need us to be concern about them…about their day…what’s going on with them…and the things we can help them with…as well as to encourage them…and, of course, to look out for their well being, as well as, protect them.  There has to be quality time invested in your children’s lives all through their development…even into adulthood…if they allow you. And they will…if they trust you…but that trust is built up over time.   That trust comes with involvement in their lives from the earliest stages of their lives straight throughout their developedment into adulthood.

It is time for America to not just take a serious look at this problem of teen and under age sex…but also to actively work to do something to cuve it.   This tide must be stemmed because of the dire future consequences for America.  

Something has to be done for the young babies which are born to these young girls and boys who are nothing but kids themselves.  This problem poses a real future crisis for this country. 

These young babies need to have a fighting chance at life.  And they can’t do that by being born to people who are not mature enough to parent them properly. 

The cost, to the system upon whom they will soon be imposing, should not become the driving force to make this country face this problem today.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/27716567#27716567

http://www.avert.org/america.htm

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-2139.html&fromMod=popular_parenting

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2005-10-18-teens-sex_x.htm

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/15/AR2006051500713.html

…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com

While in the lab working on a class project.  I happen to overhear a conversation between one of the male college students and one of the female college students. 

For all that he was saying to her…I would have gotten up and slapped him.  But this girl took it with such ease.  It did not phaze her none in the least.

The boy was talking to her like she was nothing but a tunnel down there…and you probably know where and what I am talking about. 

Though she was none in the least embarrassed, I was embarrassed for her.

She lacked any understanding of herself and why this boy and what he was saying to her should have been offensive to her.

After thinking about it for a while, I now understand why. 

Those very girls and boys which I had discussed in prior blogs “Teen Pregnancy Pact” etc…those are the same little boys and girls who were mothers and fathers in grade school.  Well, maybe not exactly them…but it wasn’t for a lack of trying.  They just didn’t get caught…meaning ’they had not gotten pregnant.’   

Well…well, these are those people today….they are entering college.  And this girl…well, she is a product of that mentality.

This girl whom the boy in the lab was talking to…well, they spoke so….so casual…ly.   She to him and him to her.  That one would have thought that such blatant and insulting conversation was the norm and alright.

And if any of you says it is…I will strongly beg to differ.

It is not.

That young girl is an example of what is emerging out of the school system where kids get to talk about sex and act out in ways…which…which frankly should never be allowed.

No man should ever call a woman a tramp (even in an around about way…or in mild causual conversation)…unless he first stops acting as one himself.   And even then it is not allowable. 

And believe me…there was nothing ’round about’ in the way this boy was talking to that girl. 

But why are women so degraded?

Why are we the ones ‘de-valued’?

The young girl would not be one among many of the campus whores…and I am very sorry to say that…and it really hurts me to have to call it as such…but it is true…if the male population were carrying themselves a lot better too. 

You would have had to have heard the conversation to know what I am talking about.  And for her to sit there talking with him as he laid out all her whorish shortcomings…espisode after episode…to her without so much as a grimace or a sidewise glance from her? 

It was appalling. 

This speaks volumes as to how far off the mark these young girls…young ladies…and yes…I guess….young women have fallen.  They are far off course.  And all the sex education in the world has done nothing for them…but allowed them to feel more and more like sexual objects.  And very much for lack of saying it in any other way…and they “get down with that.”

For them it is okay.  And  even seems as though they enjoy it…being known as the ‘girl who will throwdown’ or ‘go down on anyone.’   UGH!!!!!

I wish someone would dare to talk to me as if I were common.

I am not common.

I am not going to be common.

And no one is going to ride me like a horse.

Only to cast me off and turn me out to pasture like some old broken down nag.

And then have them laughing…and talking about me?

No.

These young girls have no pride.  And many older women do not either. 

Maybe, it is that I think too much of myself?

But this thing is really ashame.  And the problem is…is that the same standards are not allotted towards men.  Throughout history the male speices if you will…has been given a free ride (excuse the pund) when it has come down to issues of morality.  If this had not been the case and was not the case today there is a chance that this topic and the approaches to it would be different in our world today.  But since the beginning of time for men in almost every country the standards have differed greatly from those applied towards women.  Morality has never stretched both sides of the aisle.

However, this would not in any more way justify such talk…but it could create a level of standards on both party’s part.   The boy in the lab, who was maybe all of 24, clearly didn’t see anything wrong in the behavior of either himself or any of his friends who were hopping on top of this girl.  Nor did he think it disrespectful to her to speak so loudly so that the entire lab could hear that sickening conversation.  And nor did she in her own ignorance care whether everyone heard.

But why should she be any more of a whore then they?

Are they not all engaged in the same thing?

Will there ever come a time again…when men protected women’s valor rather than trampled all over it?

Oh, yes…by the way…that conversation was not between a black male and black female student.  As typically many people believe that only certain groups carry on in certain ways.  This issue of sex…pre-martial sex…sex in grade school…etc…etc…is a very big issue…and it involves everybody. 

I am appalled because I have young nieces and nephews coming up in a culture that believes everything is alright…as long as it feels good.  Everything is not…alright.  Whether it feels good…or not.

As old fashion as this may sound…what it really does boils down to just one plain thing…’self-respect.’   I don’t know how many times I used to overhear older people say that when I was growing up…but not today.  I haven’t heard it in years.  But it is what we have to teach our children, nieces, nephews etc.  They must learn how to respect themselves first.  Then they will be able to ensure and enforce that respect among their friends and peers. 

That may sound like a too simplified cure to such a big and overwhelming problem as responsible living and sex given todays sexual culture…but self-respect is the beginning root to a successful life.  Without it how does one grow, accomplish or achieve anything in life?

Well, we are inching closer to the finish line…Election Night 2008.  It will be a big and exciting night for many reason.  May God bless America!

 Even the little ones support Obama!

 Even the little ones support Obama!

 Even the little ones support Obama!

It gives me such hope for this country.  It really does.

There is no country like this one. 

There is no place at all…like the United States of America.

Through all her adversities, contradictions…missteps…and fall downs…American is great.  And she is beautiful…though there have been times in her history when people, Presidents, groups didn’t always act justly, fairly or truthfully.  But through it all she has maintained her beauty…and she is worth everything we can do to save her.

In closing…let me take this time to clarify once again…that Barack Obama is not just a phenomena because he is black. 

No, it is far greater than that.  

He is a phenomena because he is who he is.  

That is what America has much to be proud of…because he is a product of her.  It has taken us much and a long time to get here.  But we are here.  And at the end of the day…it does matter.  It really really does…for everyone’s sake.

Perhaps a decent wholesome Obama family in the White House is what this country is in dire need of to get her morally back on the right track, as well.  The kids certainly need other role models other than the ones they follow in Hollywood and the Rapp world…and certainly other than the likes of a Britney Spears to pattern themselves behind.

Please be sure to share this blog site with all your friends…family…just….just….everyone!

Tuesday….Tuesday….Tuesday….

What would make the Gloucester School Officials feel that they could possibly curved the current cultural trend of teenage pregnancy?

The first thing they see wrong is…is that the problem is only a local one.

The second thing is…is that they believe it can be curved by a little more sex education and some more condoms.

Before sex education arrived in schools in America there was far less sex and pregnancy going on among teens in school.

This thing is at epidemic proportions.  It is serious.

Today most high schools, and a lot of what used to be Jr. High Schools…called Middle Schools today…are also becoming highly populated with little mothers and dads roaming and running through their halls.

The problem…to you folks in Glouchester…is not more sex ed and condoms but teaching the kids how to abstain from having sex.  You need to show how having a baby…and or children in their early years can really impact their future years.  And then thirdly, rather than trying to make it easier on them by suppling them school day-care…you really need to let them struggle a bit with trying to get their child care arrangements and schedules together for themselves.  You might just find that there won’t be so many of them so willing to make pacts or babies either.

The truth of the matter is…is that teen pregnancy is a major problem in this country and it does not seem to be getting any better.  Clearly, it is an issue which sooner or later is going to have to be seriously addressed. 

These kids have no idea how important these early years are for them.  Not to mention for some of them they are making decisions which will clearly impact them and frame every important decision they will have to make for a very long time…and will certainly play a crucial role in most …if not all of the future decisions that they make.

Just the other day I found myself having to have a heart to heart discussion with one of my little nieces.  She just recently entered into the 9th grade this year…and she seems to have a problem getting to school on time.  I informed her that everything she is doing in school today is preping her for life after school.  And that if she couldn’t get to school on time now…she wouldn’t be able to get to work later…nor to her classes once she got into college.  Because what you practice now is important.  But it also gets down to responsibility.  I told her that it was her responsibility to ensure that she had success later on in her life by preparing for it now…it was her responsibility to get to school on time.  I told her it was her responsibility to ensure herself of a successful future tomorrow…today.  And that  cannot be done by making a bunch of bad choices at very early ages.   

Having children is no joke…and babies need responsible maturing people to handle the responsibilities that they bring.  People who are capable of making real and intelligent decision in terms of their overall care and invest in who they become as people.  No little grade school child can do that…as they are still babies themselves.

 http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1815845,00.html

http://www.gloucestertimes.com/punews/local_story_067063101.html

http://wbztv.com/local/gloucester.high.school.2.751873.html

http://www.gloucestertimes.com/punews/local_story_267225458.html

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,382021,00.html

http://www.northjersey.com/opinion/moreviews/21667254.html

Speaking of abstinence…isn’t it something most of us practice everyday?

Who doesn’t want sex?

But we don’t run out like little dogs or cats…or any animals trying to get it.  And if you do then you shouldn’t.  The cost of indulging like that could cost you your life or a lifetime of certain types of medication…just watch the television commercials of people claiming to have this or that.

Over time we have all learned to become responsible.  Some longer than most…and for me particularly so.  But I am there…or should I say here now.

As adults we have all learned to control ourselves.

Okay…well, maybe some people haven’t.

But in the end saving yourself and waiting on the right person can go a really long way…towards how much you have left to pour into that real relationship that you had been hoping for…but were too busy chasing after all the wrong stuff.

I can’t imagine sharing myself with everybody.  I have never let anybody just use me. 

I don’t know.  Maybe we should instill in our youth a sense of pride…maybe that is what they are lacking.

Enjoy your weekend.  It’s raining here…but I love it.  I love the rain.  And this morning I got a chance to step out in it and walk with the one I love…God.  It was just Him…me…and the rain.

And I definitely hope you are registered…this upcoming Presidential Election is so important.

Please be sure to share this blog site with your friends.

…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com 

God bless…and thanks for reading  ©2008

 

A term of endearment????

Enpowering ourselves by taking it back…and calling us (each other that).   But you can’t use it.

What kind of lunacy is that? 

In this case Elizabeth wins.  She has got it right…why would you call yourself something that you don’t want other people to call you?  

Doesn’t that just sound backwards?

So, what you grew up with your family members using it. So, what!

Like your family members ain’t never been wrong about anything. And everything they did and said was right. Grow up…and get a brain.

Now, here’s Whoopi’s view on the “N” word…

Here is what Rev Al Sharpton had to say about the use of the “N” word…and Jesse Jackson’s use of the word in regards to black people.

How can we command respect from others if we cannot respect ourselves enough to stop continually abusing ourselves by using a word that is offensive and has been used offensively towards us…and was originated to demean, belittle and insult us?

There is no such thing as “taking it back”…because we weren’t the ones who originated the “N” word.  It was a word targetted against us meant to keep us in our place.

For Jesse Jackson to have gotten caught on national television belittling black people in America by calling them the “N” word and talking in such a way as to what he would like to do to Obama was glaringly offensive to us all as moral decent human beings. 

After getting in front of national cameras many times saying that the “N” was a word that is wrong and should never be used by anyone…well, you pick the adjective…hypocritical (somehow that word sounds a bit weak in regards to Jesse Jackson)…and even more so in regards to what that one word has done to us as a group.

Just listen to us on these clips.  And they symbolize the intelligent rational black folk…from Whoopi and that other woman on the View, to Jesse Jackson, to Al Sharpton, to Dr. Alvin Poussaint and Bill Cosby.  Yet they are so far apart in their thinking on this subject…that it is frightening.

How can one word have so much power… or conjure up so much pain and ill will…and division? 

So, then why would anyone or any group of people want to hold onto such a word?

African-Americans are as messed up as a group of people can be in regards to this word…and the reason is as Elizabeth, Dr. Poussaint and Bill Cosby state…home training.

Listen to Whoopi Goldberg and the other black woman on the View…she says ’she grew up in a home that used it’ and that she uses it.

Whoopi says that saying it is okay because it gives us power. 

What?????

They, Whoopi and that other black woman on the View, have been desensitized to the word probably from growing up with it and hearing it all of their lives…as well as probably most of those rappers and three-quarters of the other black folk in this country.  As well as, many other people today who hear it on the videos, in the movies, in our personal language among each other, in the locker room, classroom, school hallways etc…everywhere. 

Not only rappers, or Jesse Jackson…but professional black folk use it…athletics…preachers…you name it…they indulge in the use of the “N” word.

There is some cultural relevance to this…it is called “self-hate.”  

We still have it…no matter what we say. 

Why else use that word and continue to allow it to perpetuate as if it is a cultural norm acceptable only when we say it?

There is something ill-logic with that thinking.

I grew up in a home that didn’t use the “N” word…nor did my parents…or most our relatives curse or swear. 

So, therefore, I am not desensitized by the word. It will provoke me to become angry…and I don’t want anybody…white or black or otherwise calling me by it.  And I don’t want them thinking it…and I can tell that too…and there are ways.  It is in the body language and certain behavors that make it quite evident.

I once got on the bus travelling to New York City a while back. A young hispanic guy got on the bus that day at the same time I boarded…during the whole ride he was at the back of the bus talking very very…very loudly. And every other word out of his mouth was the “N” word…and I do mean every other.  It irritated me.

It irritated me so badly that I had put into my mind…that if he said the word one more time there was going to be a racial incidence on that bus because I was going to get up…and we would have to go at it.

Now, what you need to know is this…anytime I put something into my mind to do…I do it.

And things were not going to be pretty on that bus…because I had already decided upon it. The good thing for him…as the thought came into my mind…the bus pulled into his stop and he got off.

I consider myself to be a nice person but there are somethings I am just not tolerant of…I am not tolerant of the “N” word out of anybody’s mouth. To speak it in my presence is like speaking a curse word.

We really have to grow up…it is not time to get over that word.   But time to release it…and let it die.

I have felt guilty since I wrote that blog about not taking my iron tablets.  I mean…I really have.   It may seem like such a little thing to have bothered me.   But the next day I started thinking about having made that statment…about not taking the tablets…but who does what they are suppose to anyways.

I started thinking about how all I have to take is this one little tablet.  It doesn’t make me queazy or up-set my stomach…or any of those things.  All it does is add some much needed iron to my system to aid in increasing my red blood cells.  No biggy.

When you think of all the different types of medication that people are forced to take daily…because they have to…they have no choice in the matter.  What do I have to complain about…not that I was complaining. 

But, my goodness…I am blessed.

So, why not take the one little pill that I am suppose to take?

When you think of the type of money people have to spend on medication in this country…it is unbelievable.  I have a friend who informed me that one bottle of something that she needs costs $300.  Wow…

And all I have to take is a simple over the counter…less than $3.00 iron tablet. 

It is very foolish of me to be so lackadaisical in taking something that might prevent me from ever having to spend $300 on something to correct that which I could have prevented simply by taking my little under $3.00 tablet today.  And that is why I have been kicking myself…after saying what I wrote in that blog…I realized just how foolish I was…and have been.

In the mid-80’s I lost my cousin Vincent to AIDS.  He had to take over 30 different pills a day.  One of the tablets he had to take was a bright yellow pill…which he had to take because he somehow contracted a parasite that only birds normally got.

I recall think as he held up the pill telling me about it and why he had to take it…I recalled thinking-

“My goodness he can’t even walk into a pet shop without walking out without something.”

I didn’t at that time quite understand AIDS…as most people did not at that time.  But I realized that living in New York City he could not even walk between a flock of peigons eating drops of bread without fearing getting something…that might mean taking another pill.

Since, I only have that one little pill to take…and really it is good for me to take.  Yesterday, I took my iron tablet for the very first time in a long time.  And now that I’m thinking of it…I better take it while it is still on my mind.  So, excuse me…hope you had a good day.   Its been hot here…and I am definitely thinking about the beach.

Have a good one….and…      God bless….

ps…well, technically you can see I am really catching on to this stuff…but it doesn’t hurt to be able to write code either (html)…baby, all those classes are paying off!!!

And thank you all for reading…don’t forget to share this blog site… www.bsmith101.wordpress.com   …with your friends, family, co-workers, the people on your block…your next door neighbor…your church…everybody…the people in the grocery store…the cashiers at the movie theater…the man down the street….even your ex….and don’t forget you can holla at a sisah every so often.   

You can reach me simply by writing in the ”comment” section below that is how to comment on these blogs or…if you wish to converse with me…you can reach me through it as well.  ©2008

BEAR STERNS EXCE’s…

How many of these stories about insiders ripping off investors are we going to hear and bear? No pun intended but at the end of the day tax payers end up having to pay for it…that’s what really gets me. These guys always end up walking away with millions and leaving poor everyday people (tax payers) to bear the burden of their misdeeds while they always get to keep most of the money that they stole while perpetrating crimes.

Oh, sure we could say, “shame on you”…but they’ve heard that already. Or we could say, “Let’s make ‘em sign a pact to stop lying, cheating and stealing, and never do it again.” But didn’t we do that too?

You do remember that don’t you…Bush organized it and issued the code of ethics that all the executives were suppose to sign. But then let’s face it…would you cease to be a fraud, liar, thief and a cheat if George Bush gave you a document like that? Even Bush himself probably had his eyes closed with his fingers crossed behind his back as he put his signature on the document putting that supposed code into affect. And you know what…we haven’t heard anything about it since. And that all happened the first or second year after Bush stole, lied and cheated his way into the Oval Office.

But let me go to Martha Steward…how is it that she was ushered so quickly into prison when these Bear Stern exec’s (that they caught with their hands in the cookie jar…lying to investors while cashing in on their side of the table aiding in destabilizing the countries housing market). Just how did these two Bear Sterns exec’s manage to go off on vacation and spend millions in stolen hard cold cash while partying? What happened to freezing assets and not allowing crooks to put a hand on anything before their day in front of the judge?

Talk about some double standards…and the same thing with those Enron guys. It was the exact same scenario…and look how perfectly timed that was. The big Enron chief died before the trial and the jurors could be seated. How perfectly timed that was…couldn’t have happened by accident. And poor Martha they couldn’t rush her off to prison quick enough. In fact, it happened so fast it’s a wonder Martha didn’t get whip-flash.

Integrity and honor were something applauded and celebrated years ago. But today you can barely find them…either of them. Lying and cheating have become part of today’s culture. It is not just in the corporate world or Wall Street…it is in government, the court house, the school yard, college campuses, homes, churches…relationships, marriages, operating rooms, hospitals…television, news, internet…everywhere. And some of the places where lying, cheating, stealing, abusing etc. dominate the most are some of the most shocking.

VICE PRES…HILLARY????

Noooo, not Hillary. I could care less what Hillary wants. She does not even deserve a consideration. Anybody who would single-handedly try to railroad any political party in this country to forcefully submit to their will…their demands…their-their…(SIGH) can’t think of anything else…but she should not be lauded or applauded and touted as some type of national hero…or should I say she-ro.

All along the campaign during the Democratic Primary, Hillary refused to play fairly…even down to the end. Had not the Political New York Heavy Weights gone after her and forced her to surrender, submit, give-in etc…etc…she would have gone before Judge Judy seeking out recourse and some type of resolution in the courts…of which she may still try to do as she merely suspended her campaign as she voiced. This, of course, had been a consideration of hers all along the campaign trail that even those close to her were disclosing all over media if Hillary failed to get the nod from Party. And they were all very clearly angry (Hillary’s people) and did not mind trying to get people to cross over and cast their votes for McCain in light of Hillary not becoming the nominee of the Democratic Party Presidential Election 2008.

Shame on Hillary for causing such discourse by trying to motion women and poor middle class Whites to cross over to the other side and vote for McCain. And she wants to purposely break Obama’s bank roll by having his people pay off her campaign debts which she so unabashedly, shamelessly and recklessly continuously kept pouring into her sinking ship of a campaign knowing that she would be looking to hit up Obama for the reimbursement. And we thought Nixon was tricky. He could have taken some lessons from Bill and Hillary.

If Obama were to choose Hillary as VP, and he won’t, but if he were to do so…he really wouldn’t be able to sleep. Talking about having to keep one eye open and a finger on a trigger…and I don’t even believe in guns. But if Obama got a phone call in the middle of the night it wouldn’t be about how he would handle the situation or the crisis. No, that would be the least of his worries…he would first have to be careful to stay away from all the windows…and remember to keep low because Hillary could be out in bushes.

I know Hillary is dangerous.

There is this saying about a woman scorned…maybe you know it.

If Obama chose Hillary…well, let’s just say it this way…the brother would have to start packing. Let’s face it…she has put out the code word and everything else against Obama. And all this, mind you, while she wasn’t even VP but just another person in the race.  Imagine just how much more dangerous Hillary Clinton would be to Obama if she were his VP.

OBAMA ON FATHERS…

Finally got a chance to hear the speech which Obama gave at a church in Chicago on Father’s Day.

Personally, as always Obama gave a great message…and that is what it was. He was invited to speak at a church on Father’s Day. So, what else would he have talked about? And it was a Black church…so, why wouldn’t he talk to them about Black Men stepping up and being responsible.

But clearly anyone hearing that speech by Obama could apply it across the board to men in almost all the various groups. Many men today totally disregard their responsibilities…whether it be inside or outside of marriage. What better day to have such a dialog than on Father’s Day. And Obama is destined to become one of the great fathers of this country.  So, who better than to take the time on Father’s Day to give it…in this day where we need leadership to step up to the plate and lead not only in words but by example.

It is unfortunate, however, that every time Obama speaks he is going to have to be dissected not only by White folks but by Black folks as well…believing that everything he says is politically motivated or that he has some kind of special agenda.

Enemy Combatants…

Labeling is everything…and the Bush Administration knows how to get around everything simply by refusing to call things what they are or as they are. This might just be a little something that the Bush Administration, however, picked up from the Clinton Administration when Clinton refused to called the Rwanda Genocide a genocide until some 100 days after it had begun and came to an end, in 1994.

Bush has been such a good student in learning how to not play the call it what it really is game…you can actually see how well it works by his phrasing of our current economic depression as a mere “Slow Down”…not a recession but just a little ol’ slow down.

So, Bush has applied the same little trick to how the US has classified various prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. By classifying prisoners as detainees rather than as enemy combatants has allowed the US Government to squirm around and not have to adhere to any of the codes of ethics or of conduct instituted by the Geneva Convention in regards to treatment of prisoners, the interrogation of enemy combatants etc. These little games, however, and that is what they are…games…fool no one…foolish…and are fools play.

The tarnishing of America’s image is something in which the Bush folks have not spent one night losing any sleep over. It is truly a very sad commentary on the legacy of any so-called President of the United States. However, to put at the jeopardy thousands of innocent enlisted men and women lives who risk being captured, tortured and/or killed every day in places where dismay and mayhem was perpetrated by this country under the Bush Administration is incomprehensible. And to heighten the likability of them being tortured and butchered because our government, the US government, refuses to play by the rules and adhere to the Geneva Convention is a grave mistake.

In every discourse, someone has to take the high road…and it will never be this country under the rule of Cheney and Bush.

Really, at the end of the day what would it hurt to allow detainees in Guantanamo Bay to have their day in court? Not unless this government has scooped up a bunch of people who really knew nothing and have had nothing to do with terrorism…just people used to make it look good by having large numbers imprisoned to aid somehow in the appearance of the Bush group seemingly looking good and as being effective in its war on terrorism. Truthfully, do not put this pass them.

That would be an outrage wouldn’t it…to find out there may be a bunch innocent people grabbed up and carted off to Guantanamo Bay for years and detained there with no kind of recourse or time table…or possible no way out. To allow anyone out who has been detained falsely under the Bush Administration would certainly guaranteed the possibility of future problems for the USA…as some of those detainees (who may have been falsely imprisoned) are bond to come out very bitter and harboring great hatred and resentment towards America now even if they may not have before.

What a mess the Bush Administration has gotten us into…and so foolishly.

TOMATOES…

I haven’t gotten over the spinach thang to tell you the truth. It is not that I have been eating spinach all that long. I really started about, I don’t know, maybe some 20 years ago…and I won’t tell you how old I am but that is far less than half of my age. But once I started eating spinach, mostly in salad…can’t really stand it cooked…I kind of grew to like it. And wouldn’t you know it…once I finally started eating my spinach it comes up being tainted…and I haven’t touched it since.

Now, tomatoes have hit the list. One good thing about tomatoes…you can always grow your own…cheaper that way too. And it doesn’t take a lot to grow them or to get them to grow. Funny the home grown tomatoes actually taste better anyway. And if you never noticed…and I hate to tell you this…I never noticed it either until somebody pointed it out to me…today when tomatoes rot they start rotting from the inside out. That never was…well, back in the day. (for some reason while writing this blog I’m beginning to feel old…real old)

All the un-natural techniques of growing fruits and vegetables today, as well as, pumping up everything…cattle…and those poor chicken. I really feel sorry for them. I can’t imagine being shut-up in a dark sealed off in a place where they are feigning night 24 hours, all day and night, to continuously have me producing eggs…ughhhh! It just doesn’t sound right. And the size of some chickens today can rival the size of a small turkey. (can’t get away from that word ‘today’ for some reason)

Salmonella is all over the place…tomatoes, spinach, chicken, hamburgers etc…etc… And if that doesn’t get ya’ there is Mad Cow disease, Bird Flu, Foot and Mouth disease and who knows what else…they never tell us everything until it is upon us and at least twenty or more have come down with it. I remember sitting at home in New York afraid to go out because the city would out all night busy spraying mosquito’s.

If you have noticed nothing tastes the same as it did years ago. Sometimes you just want to shout enough is enough…these scientist have just gone too far. Whenever I look at steak I never know if I’m eating one of poor ol’ Dolly’s off-springs…that could account for why most meats taste old and lack the favor of foods from yesterday. At lease those in Africa were wise enough to say no to bio-generated foods. Who would want it? That’s is how they got into trouble with AIDS. Nobody talks about it…but do you remember that ship they used to call the Good Ship Hope that used to carry thousands upon thousands of bags of blood to Africa.

Nobody of course talks about it…but that ship did used to exist and they even used to run commercials about it and their great humanitarian deeds. Nobody calls that ship’s name now…not since Africa suffers so heavily from HIV and AIDS. So, of course, the Good Ship Hope’s name has not been brought up, especially not since it has been discovered that blood is the number one means of transmitting AIDS.

But going back to the foods that we eat it is little wonder people are suffering from all kinds of nerve and other disorders…it’s all the chemicals in our water and our food. Everything is shot up with this or that. Yes, larger is better in some things but not in all things. And not matter how you try to get away from it…it really doesn’t matter who plants what or where…because chemicals are everywhere…in all our water, in the soil…everywhere…even in the air we breathe.
We have truly messed up this planet…little wonder Mother Nature is striking back. (I don’t actually believe in Mother Nature…but I do believe in God and retribution)

GAS PRICES…

No matter how much we try not to acknowledge it this gas thing could get a lot worst. Based upon the prices that other countries pay we have really had it easy, and that really goes for everything…just talk to some foreigners. But who cares about other countries…we live in America!

Greed being what it is…it was just a matter of time before our prices started to catch up with the rest of the world. We, Americans, after all, have had the most disposable income in the world for a very long time…and for the most part our government has held back the super dogs from ripping every penny out of our little ol’ hands. But today our government is in bed with many those super dogs and just doesn’t mind passing legislation to help them, themselves and their friends to get richer.

A lot of things have changed since the influx of the Bush Administration into the White House. When you consider how rapidly under Bush the gas prices have blown-up…it is not just Exxon or Sunoco who should be called in to chat with the Senate and be investigated…but Bush and his gang too.

It is not a secret how closely tied Bush is to the companies making all these stellar millions while we have all have had to tighten our belts and go without. Think about it…when Bush went into the White House where were the gas prices…maybe at what…a $1.39/gal for regular gasoline…think about where it is now? Just how did that happened and so rapidly?

Nothing can happen as fast as our gas prices skyrocketing without some inside help. For one thing by going in and invading Iraq, Bush more than orchestrated this. At the very on-set when Bush started talking about invading Iraq most people here in America and elsewhere saw the invasion for what it really was…that it was all about oil. Not quite in the way as we all thought though. It was about the stifling of the oil market by disrupting the oil output coming out of Iraq thereby causing the oil world to go bonkers…and push up prices by destabilizing the Middle East even further and the OPEC Moguls.

If you think for a moment that they, Bush/Cheney and everybody around them didn’t have stocks in Sunoco, Exxon, Mobil, Texaco etc. and everything else having to do with basic home utility services and fuels…then you are living in the Dark Ages. They are all making out like a bunch of bandits drinking pina coladas waving a finger in the air with a hand on their hip dancing around the glow of the ol’ camp fire while singing songs and occasionally taking breaks to punch up their accounts on their Blackberries to see just how much more their fuel investments have grown within the last 15 minutes.

When you can manipulate the market…you can also help yourself to lots of the benefits and rewards of doing so. And as President of this country George Bush and Dick Cheney have been able to do pretty much anything and everything they have wanted to do including torturing prisoners which is clearly against International Law, eavesdrop and spy on American citizens etc. They launched a pre-empted strike on the Iraqi people, instituted wire tapping, torture and the Patriot Act which in essence gave Bush and his crew carte blanche as to whatever they wanted to do almost without limits as long as they framed under the guise of being in the best interest of National Security.

When you consider the gas shortage of the 70’s…it paled in terms of the prices we see at the gas pumps today at prices well of over $4.20. When the gas shortage of the 70’s was over it was finally disclosed to the American public that there really hadn’t been a gas shortage…because the government had never come close to having touched our own gas reserves…this mind you after a very tremulous period in American history where people were being killed at gas pumps fighting over gasoline…and then there was the gasoline rationing instituted by the government where depending upon the last number on your license plate you could or could not buy gas only to find out that we had not really been in a gas shortage after all.

Our government from time to time has been cruel without measure or reason…what was the purpose of having done that?  Money.  Then like today.

Bush having gone into Iraq and disrupted the oil supply by bombing everything was a very good way of ensuring a certain desirable outcome…like escalating gasoline prices. Before going into Iraq the outcome undoubtedly had to been weighed and the consequences probably had been of great consideration by the Bush Administration. So, the only logic for making such a decision could have only been if the benefit of obliterating Iraq outweighed the consequences of not invading Iraq.

There is this saying that the rich only want to get richer.

Surely, all that effort was not solely for the removal of one man and his two sons. There had to be something more to the invasion of Iraq. And we all know it was never about weapons of mass destruction.

Here is what it was…the idea was to make the rich richer…and if anybody among that group wasn’t rich prior to the bombing of Iraq…they quickly pulled together some money from somewhere, invested it in Sunoco and anything else that had to do with fuel, oil, utilities etc…and have made a bundle. And they are still making bundles of money on the Iraqi War while it is costing us over a billion dollars per day. And as if financial cost were not enough…consider the innocent lives on both sides. And here we are in America fighting to keep our heads above the water as the prices for everything shoot up due the inflated costs of oil and gasoline.

Now, Bush is calling to end the band on off-shore drilling as a means to decrease the rising cost of fuel from abroad. He says that now that gas prices are climbing over $4…”…it is now time to end the bands.”

Well, who caused the increase in the first place?

Now, Bush wants to turn it around? What in the eleventh hour? Yeah…and at what costs? And to whose benefit?

They’re in the oil business, folks. The Bush’s are oil barons. George Bush and the Republicans got us into this mess and he is not in business of turning anything around…but more money.
When was the first time you got into your vehicle and had to decide upon what errands you could afford to run that day…and what you could do along this or that route while carrying out some other errand?

It is called bundling…and you’re doing it…and I am doing it. This is something we never really had to think about before. But when you consider that nearly $4.50 gives you what you used spend $1.05 at the pump a few years ago…bundling is the only way to go.

My mother used to take us in the car and drive us through the countryside on beautiful summer days stopping by fruit and vegetable stands along the way. And many times we would find ourselves out on the Connecticut shoreline taking in the sun and racing through the rushing ocean waters lapping at the beach sands. But who can afford it today at the prices we pay at the gasoline pumps at today’s prices. To get in your car and go anywhere is like going on vacation now…we have ended up paying $100 to $300 or more a week just to get around town.
Think about it…putting $5 worth of gas into your tank today is just a little above putting in a dollar’s worth yesterday…I mean years ago. I understand that we live under the domain of inflation but something seriously wrong with this picture.

Perhaps we can’t say it all started after George Bush got into the White House…but these soaring runaway prices have. And the funny part about it is…everywhere he goes he rides for free.

REALITY CHECK…

Did you know that prior to George Bush presidents were paid only $200,000 a year. That was up until Bush stole his way into the White House. After Bush took over the country the presidential pay shot up (just like our gas prices but faster) to $400,000 a year.

To think we pay Bush double the amount of money Clinton was paid during his 8 years in the White House is mind bobbling. Talking about an over paid executive.

That’s not all…we not only pay him all that money but with every bite he takes, every piece of toilet paper or tissue he sneezes into we pay for it. So, to think that Bush is the one responsible for our fuel shock at the gas pumps, our food shock in the grocery stores, and our shock over prices in department stores and pharmacies etc. around the country is…is…is…(you fill in the blank…I can’t think of anything right now because many people are hurting…and really hurting from what this man and his administration has done). And it is a shame.

Thank God a new day is just ahead. Change is in the atmosphere.

THE MORTGAGE CRISIS…

When I read the newspaper and see all the foreclosures, forget about around the country, but right here! Right here where I live…it is hard not to feel for our fellow Americans who are faced with foreclosure, high education costs, runaway medical expenses etc…it is hard not to feel some level of empathy…and even more so if you have to go through some of this yourself.
Foreclosure is no joke. You do not go to bed and sleep…because you never know what you are going to wake up to in the morning. The fear our home being sold over her head is quite frightening. So, I have come to remember to pray for everyone going through this process.

I also had to go through most of my winter, last year, without heat or hot water…that too taught me how to pray for others going through that…for those without a home or roof over their head. I can’t imagine it…but I do know that it has to be a grievous state to be in.

It is funny if you don’t have to go through some of these things yourself you will never know just how much others have to contend with…and just how disconcerting it all can be.

But thank God we serve a mighty God who is true to His word. He will never forsake you…and it is true that the righteous never ever have to beg for bread. So, if you are going through something be encouraged. I’m thinking about you and praying for you. Remember it is only a test…you will come through like pure gold.

It is funny as I now more than ever thank God for all that He has done for me…and is doing. And my appreciation for the simpler things in life has grown…as they give me my greatest pleasures. Sometimes I can just sit and look up at the sky for great periods of time and just marvel at the goodness of God. And I am constantly thanking God every time I get into the shower for the hot water and the warmth in the house…and how He straightened out our mortgage situation.
He is good…and good all the time. God Bless…  ©2008