Posts filed under: ‘Susie Owens‘
What do I care about Mary J’s hair styles?
Or whether or not Venus wants to show her behind off during the recent tennis tournament in Paris?
Can’t even think of it’s name now…that’s how much it really matters to me.
Why should I care whether or not Gary Coleman was murdered or not?
I’m not kind?
I’M NOT KIND???????
How dare anybody tell me that I am not kind. All the money I have spent. All the things I have done. And they say-
“I’m not kind?”
This has been eating at me since I heard it. Which was roughly about 3 weeks ago at my brother’s graduation. But I have just been trying to play it off…like it didn’t bother me. But somewhere back there in the far crevices of my mind it has lingered. Periodically it would pop up and I would push it back out of my mind. And I would just refuse to acknowledge it…or that it even really mattered to me to have heard that.
But it did.
Well, why not?
It seemed to fit… and fit perfectly. I after all I do not consider myself to be a bad …mean …or even an evil person.
So, then too as many people as I have given to… poured out myself to …gave to when I didn’t have it to give… Then so… how is it that I should be considered ‘not the kind one?’
Well, if you give from the heart you do not walk around talking about your giving. You just give.
You give because you see that somebody needs. You give because you are compelled to… and you respond to the force which compels you to do so. You give without expecting anything in return. You give not seeking a slap on the back or a pat on the hand. You just give… because- Well, because there was something you saw… you sensed… you witnessed… and your heart opened up …and you just gave.
It could have been a word… that is what they call ‘a kind word.’ Or it could have been financial. Or it could have been of your time …or a token of your wisdom… if you have some. But you gave it to meet a need in someone else.
And so, at the end of the day you do it without seeking fame or glory.
So, yes. From time to time you are bound to be not called ‘the nice one’ or ‘the kind one.’ Because you gave while no one was looking …and you weren’t looking for them to be so… being you sought not recognition. You just gave…and it made somebody’s day… and probably your’s too.
So, it’s not all about me …or you either. It is about others.
And who cares whether others recognize your giving …or your caring …or your kindness …or the level of outpouring you share with and to others.
But God knows. And in the end that is all that matters.
God bless… and do what you can… for others. And forget about what is …or is not being said about you.
It really doesn’t matter. It truly doesn’t. And now that I have said all of that… I don’t know why it bothered me so much …not being called ‘the nice one.’ Or was it ’the kind one?’
I really can’t even remember now. But boy did it eat at me. But now God has spoken into my spirit …and after writing this …releasing all those feelings of self-evaluation and trying to figure out why I was not being called ’the nice one’ …or was it ‘the…-’
Oh, never mind.
I am just going to work to be better …and increase my caring and giving. And give from my heart and not expect anything back, including somebody calling me ‘the nice one’ …or is it ‘the…-’
It is truly not important. And I thank you for listening while I sorted this all out. Because it really really isn’t about me.
And I do mean shorrrrrrt.
Now, on to this.
I fell to sleep messing around with my son’s laptop computer last night and woke up listening to Pastor Sheryl Brady preaching on the Word Network, a religious television channel. I guess it was her excitement that woke me up. She was bubbling over with glee about having moved to Texas, and becoming part of Bishop T.D. Jakes’ ministry as pastors under him, she and her husband, of a North campus addition of the Potter’s House.
As I listened to her it struck me as being odd. Because I could not understand. Was she saying that she had left her own church… as in deserting it… and them…those people who had joined her church, the River Church, down there in Durham, North Carolina?
And was she saying that she was now in Texas serving up under Jakes?
Yes, it struck me as odd, indeed.
Because for 1 I just could not… and do not understand what could have precipitated such a drastic decision or move?
Having heard Paula White on several occasions call T.D. Jakes her spiritual father… who played a great role in bringing her onto the national scene via his used to be annual event called ‘Woman Thou Art Loose.’ No where as near well known or as popular on the higher national church preaching plain… one has to wonder if the switch to come up under Bishop Jake was due to a desire on the part of Pastor Sheryl Brady, to emerge on a higher level of the national urban religious scene… if you care to call them that. Or more simply state… preachers that appeal to the vast numbers of African American worshippers.
While in this exchange Bishop Jakes also adds to his cross-over appeal by appointing Brady and her husband, who are white, as the head of one of his churches. With Allen, TX as the place where they are now currently ministering… having a population of about 83,000, whose income is for the most part upward to $188,000/per year and beyond. Which might answer why he offered the Brady’s that location as opposed to opening up a Potter’s House extension in North Carolina, where they came from…or somewhere in ‘the hood,’ meaning where more black folks are.
Speaking of which… ‘Woman Thou Art Loose’ that is. I was privy to being at the last one to be held in Houston, TX, 2003. It was the one where Juanita Bynum came and got down on her knees apologizing to both Bishop Jakes and his wife regarding her falling out with them… which had ended up with her going into court against him claiming that ‘Woman Thou Art Loose’ was her brain child, and I guess some other things as well.
I do not know how the law thing worked out. As at the time I was not saved or following such things, and I knew nothing about either of them really. Nor was I following anything religious at that time… far from it. Thank God…I can say differently today.
But I enjoyed that conference very much that September of 2003 in Houston. I was quite impressed by the entire operation… and boy was it well organized. I sat though it taking all kinds of mental notes… from the camera layouts…to how the camera jibs swinging high in the air above the crowd grabbed all the great shots. It was crowded in that arena… packed in fact…and it was not a small place with its retracting roof.
It was loaded with women…upstairs…down stairs…all aound…from corner to corner… and all on the main floor… all hotels had been solidly booked and sold out. Women had travelled from all over the world to be there…Africa… Germany… France… LA… Boston… and Brooklyn… etc…etc… And many of them were annual re-turners… women who organized their schedules year in and out just to be in the midst of ‘Woman Thou Art Loose.’
And it was worth doing so.
I was amazed… even down to the short-circuit tv cameras beaming the services out to women in prison… and giving us an occasional view of them cuddled around tv screens watching us and listening to the mighty women who walked and talked upon that stage.
It really was something. And if they had not moved the event to Atlanta and mixing it with the men …and children …I would have certainly considered returning again and again to Houston myself.
But what I really recall is how I listened and watched Juanita Bynum preach about how big-headed she had become… and how she blamed it all upon listening to others. While I watched it I knew I had become a part of something special.
How many people go back and get before a packed out arena to cry and declare ‘I was wrong and out of order.’
When she got through there was not a dry eye in the house. And I was crying right along with all the rest of them. T.D. Jakes was crying… his wife was crying… Paula White was crying… her husband was crying… Everybody in the place… and all on that platform was crying. And yet I wondered if what I was watching was real?
So, I wondered how could she go from crying and begging forgiveness to so quickly switching gears and start demeaning money?
And what a mad rush it was. With checks waving all in the air. Checkbooks open… running…weeping women… charging forward… women running towards that stage and trying to fill out their checks all at the same time, while trying to not get knocked down by the droves of other women doing exactly the same thing.
So, I have no doubt that the fame …and glory of it had a lot to do with it. With the Brady’s quick departure from North Carolina to the green lawns and fresh humid Texas air in Allen.
“Come now! I don’t care where you are come now!”
And they came. While I on the other hand was going in the opposite direction.
Well, I better get off this computer. I’ve got a studio shoot tomorrow… and I do not know about you… But for some reason there just never seems to be enough time in my schedule any more. Time is truly flying by us. We go from one week into another without any real lapse of time it seems. Before I know it…it is Friday again… then Monday and the week is done. Just like that.
I may well be at the Book Festival with my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, this year as I just got my invitation from them. And also from the LA Book Festival… it seems that I just might get around to doing some book touring this year after all.
It is not like I haven’t been planning for it. But it is like I said time is flying. And all my other obligations are definitely keeping me busy. Maybe by this weekend at least an ‘in construction page’ may be up on my website page. And hopefully the links will work.
I am working on it. Because I have noticed that some of you have started looking for it. So, let me assure you that it is sooooon coming, praise the Lord.
Well, God bless…
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Add a comment June 17, 2010