Posts filed under: ‘Mama/Baby-Daddy Drama‘
So, here goes…
- When I was very young I kept having this re-occurring dream. It was always the exact same dream every night… and I always awoke at the exact spot in the dream. The dream scared me. So, one night I prayed to God to take the dream away from me. And He did…that very night…and I have never ever dreamed that dream again.
But I did not ever forget that dream.
In that dream I was always being chased…or so it seemed to me then…by these people with wings…like birds… who flew just above me… but somewhat slightly back just about over my head… 3 of them…
I always thought as a child…that they were chasing me. I never knew that God had dispatched them to watch over me.
And so I have…all my life…been watched over. Even though I prayed that prayer…and He stopped the dream…but He kept up the watch over me.
God’s favor….and I didn’t even know it until one of my brother’s told me… concerning something else in my life. And when he said, “Oooh, Bernadine, God favors you.” I really nearly fainted… that thang scared me nearly to death.
God favored me????
That was such a frightening thought.
All these million upon millions of people???
I’m still scared by the thought of it…but I know it’s true.
I do not know… But He does…He loves me…
- A while back last year I was at Newark Airport…and I was curious how many of the guys helping people with their luggage were there that day when they flew Whitney’s body in from LA?
I wanted to know if a lot people had gathered that day here at the airport?
That day Whitney flew into Newark Airport as she had never flown in before. She may have had a limousine… but she left that airport as she had never left it before.
We come all come into this world one way…and leave it in another. But as we existed before in another form… so shall be then exit here to be in yet another form. But whether we have victory or end up in defeat…life everlasting in peace and joy… depends entirely upon what we do while we are in this form…
- It has come to my attention just now that a lot of people come to me seeking my advice on a variety of subjects…and I counsel.
- Sometimes the matters are personal…other times they are legal…or affairs of the heart…or family issues…but whatever the subject or the matter I try to give good counsel…and sound counsel. And an ounce of wisdom…not really having a lot myself. But an ounce of good wisdom and rightly judgment is worth more than 2 barrels filled with foolishness…
- It is almost my son’s birthday. 32 years ago tomorrow I gave birth to a little bouncing baby boy…who had looked like he had been in a fight with Muhammad Ali. But he was mine… So, I loved him anyway. And when I first held him in my arms and looked down upon…I knew I couldn’t afford him.
So, by the time spring semester classes rolled around I started resuming my formal education.
One day while out walking with my son…he then was about 4 years old…he looked up and pointed at a man and said, ‘Ooh, look, mommie… there’s my daddy.’
Women do not demonize your children’s fathers. It does not matter whether ‘THEY’ do the right thing or not. It is absolutely wrong…and men you should not try to turn your children against their mother either. It’s wrong.
After son graduated I sent him away to school. The school did not have dorms and the small southern town it was in had no cabs or buses. So, I had to get him an apartment…a car…open him up a bank account…buy him a cell (which is also the time I got one just so he could stay in connect with me and me with him)…and paid monthly installments on his schooling.
I also hopped the bus from New York headed south to check all his monthly receipts…to make sure he was paying all his bills as he should with the money I would deposit into his bank account. And while there I always went grocery shopping…buying him enough groceries for the month…though he always had money to buy whatever he wanted…and could call me if he needed more.
Some time thereafter after settling my son in he contacted his father, he told me…and asked him for some money. My son told me that his father turned him down…and told him he should leave school and go back home until he could afford it. Needless to say I was furious at hearing this story. THAT…that man had told MY son to throw away everything I had invested in my son to get him to school and set him up properly so that he could do it…and he who had done nothing told him ‘go back home.’
When my son called and told me this story I was livid…but I did not speak badly against my son’s father…but I do have a few choice words for him if ever I should see him.
But I told my son ‘no’ that he was not coming home and he was going to stay in that school until he graduated…and he was not going to waste the money ‘I invested’ in getting him a car…a cell phone…an apartment…and paying tuition to that school. And that settled that.
Some time recently my son told me that his father had contacted him requesting a loan. Over a period of some years my son has connected with some of his father’s other children…sending gifts and things to his young nephews and nieces. Also, over the years…really in a short period of time after his graduation…my son has become very very successful in his chosen field. And I guess his father had heard.
So, when my son told me about the request for a loan I asked what he told him. And he said ‘I told him no.’
And I asked nothing further…but made note in my mind that was yet another conversation I was going to have to take up with my son’s father.
Fathers…AND mothers be good to your children. And they will be good to you…if you treat them right…train them right…and always seek to do good for them and by them…and DO give them a firm foundation in the Lord…and the things of the Lord. And they shall be blessed…and you shall be blessed of them…and shall reap well the rewards of a good harvest
This big head boy is well on his way to probably becoming a millionaire before he hits 40. That is why I put him down there in that school to sit among millionaires…not their kids but ‘them.’. So, that he would know them…and so that they would know him…
And oh, yes… I decided this year to let you really see me too. So, occasionally I will pop up… you just keep on reading my blogs and see… And this is me… But from time to time I look different…depending on a lot of different factors… You just keep looking out for me… : )
Well, the weather has been great. Spent the night in the hospital with 1 of my sisters the other night. All is well…and God is soooo good. Cannot thank Him ever enough.
Hope you enjoy the rest of this week. And I hope that all is well with you and your family too.
God bless…hoped you enjoyed it. I just thought I would share a little with you…
Add a comment January 11, 2013
Because she could. And because that is what the law tells them.
You know the law?
The law that prohibits parents from chastising their children. A law which many times clearly has made parents victims due to unruly children. Because if the child doesn’t like what the parent has done …or says… all they have to do is drop a dime… or in other words… pick up the phone and call the police on their mother or father… or both of them.
The information when this story broke was that Creflo and his daughter had been in a dispute… which arose upon his daughter asking him… her father… if she could go to a party.
I have heard of many children who wanted to go against their parents … then decide that they would settle the matter simply by picking up the phone and calling the police on their parents.
So, of course… I thought this was just 1 of those stories. Where a 15-year-old spoiled child decided that she did not like that her father told her ‘no’ she could not go to the party. So, she therefore picked up the telephone of him… or popped open her cell …and called the police lying on her father… telling them that he had choked her.
That is what I believed and that is how I thought that it had happened.
So, I never felt that Pastor Creflo Dollar had really done anything wrong.
But it was not until I heard his recounting of the incident before his congregation… and after listening to his daughter’s 911 phone call… that I must say that I am not entirely sure that maybe the daughter did lie.
Here is her 911 call:
Now here is Creflo’s account of that situation:
Since I know neither of the 2 parties it is hard to determine what and what is true. But it was Creflo’s own words and how he just seemed to literally throw his daughter up under the bus regarding the whole incident while speaking to his church, in his accounting of what his daughter said had happened, that stuck me as… hmmm. He virtually called her a liar and continued to pounce upon her. And that is what I felt was odd.
I do not believe a loving father… or any parent angry or not get before people and begins to pounce upon their children making their child appear bad or evil.
As a parent I have at times found myself angry at my son… and didn’t like something that he said to me . But there are ways that parents handle these type of things privately. Though at times I have had to admonish my son that he needed to tread lightly a couple of times while in public… as since he has reached his 30′s he has at times needed to be reminded ‘that I am still the parent.’
While speaking Creflo took the opportunity to turn his message on its heels making himself the victim.
There is no doubt that this present system of taking the control out of the hands of parents to properly chastise their children… has made many parents almost helpless when it comes to their interactions with their own children.
It is clearly stated in the Biblical text that parents should not spare the rod. Without following the instruction of God our children will become unruly… untrained… disorderly… and lack moral standards. But with proper training… love… and guidance our children will make us glad. It is Biblical text…
I knew a young mother… she had at lease 4 children and I doubt that she was older than 24 or 25. One day in passing she informed me that she was having problems with her youngest child in school. And she told me that they wanted to medicate him… I counselled her against that.
The little boy was bad… and very busy. But I told to not let anyone give any of her children anything that would alter their mind… because it would rob her children of their lives. And she told me how her oldest boy had call 911 on her… and how afraid she now was of trying to disciple any of her children in the least.
I was shock as her oldest child, who was at the time was just about maybe 9 or 10… was a very likeable and handsome boy. He often stopped by my yard to speak with me as he passed by. I found him very pleasurable… and never would have thought that he would have imagined to do such a thing. But he had… the that incident scared his poor mother enough into not doing anything for any 1 of them, for fear of 1 of them ever picking up the phone on her again… and her children being taken away.
It is clear that the law against parents chastising their children binds the hands of good parents… people who love their children and only want to see that they do well.
No one enjoys little children who have no training at all. They are like little animals… and as they grow up to they become even worst.
I was once investigated. My son and I laugh about it today… but when it happened that thang scared me to death because all I could see was that ’they’ were going to remove my son from our house. That would have destroyed me… I doubt that I would have stayed around to let such a thing happen to my child.
But the investigation was dropped when it was discerned that it had no merit.
My investigation stemmed from my son not doing academically well in school. So, the school suggested that I allow them to test him to see why. I was young and foolish then… don’t let the school do any type of psycho-analyzing of your children. Because they sit in rooms asking your children about everything but what they told you they were going to do. And that is what brought about my dilemma… my son had not called anyone on me… but the school began questioning him about me… whether I whipped him or not etc…etc… etc…
Needless to say I have since learned. I am not the smartest but that situation taught me something… and I learned it shortly after I gave my permission for that school to tell me why my son’s grade were not so good.
How innocent was that?
That nearly had my son removed from our home… and placed into foster care. There is something wrong with this system… and it truly works against parents… good parents.
I did not stop chastising my son… but I did tell him that if he ever told anyone that I whopped him that I would kill him. And that is what we laugh over today. He tells me that I was always threatening to kill him…
“Boy, I’m going to kill you!”
It was kindda the way folks spoke back then. Most parents said it… but none really meant it.
However, the world has changed today… different kind of parents. And that is truly sad… and what has brought about this problem.
Just in case I don’t write anything else for a while let me just include this.
Serena Williams took Wimbledon winning the Women’s Single… then turning right around and grabbing the Women’s Doubles title with her sister, Venus.
Venus was turned away in having lost early in the Women’s Single matches… largely due to her illness which renders her to be tired. But the illness did not stop her when it came to the Women’s Doubles finals match, where both little sis and big sis walked away with the big one together.
I am very happy for them both. I love their family. Just love seeing the love… appreciation and unity they all have… and through the situations and turmoil they still WIN!
Together Serena and Venus have won 13 Grand Slam Doubles titles together… and with Serena’s Wimbledon Single’s win a couple of weeks ago… the have between them 10 Wimbledon Single wins… with each of them having amassed 5 a piece.
Now, how good is that????
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2012
Add a comment July 23, 2012
How do you jeopardize everything by getting caught up in virtual sex?
Believe it or not so many people are caught up in sexual internet encounters. They are intrigued with meeting up with sexual partners over the internet…and go rushing to get back on-line day after day… or night after night to continue their on-line internet intrigue of sexual encounters. With many of them… ‘the people’ doing this…ending up rushing off to meet physically with their virtual love interest.
You would not believe the numbers…
Yes, ‘the NUMBERS’ of people that become introduced via social networks over the computer is astounding. And they become so wrapped up in technical instruments… be it their computer or their cell phone… their ipad… or laptop …as long as it keeps them plugged into whoever it is that is whetting their sexual appetites over those instruments.
What is the intrigue?
What is the enticement?
What makes so many men and women crazy enough to get so deeply involved in this kind of thing?
And you would be surprised about the number of women and men who are in ‘the church’ who are as involved in this type of behavior… if not more so than those outside of the church.
I first learned of this when I happened to be downtown Brooklyn preparing to get ready for an edit session, when an older minister came swinging into the room. He proclaimed that he was on his way out of town but wanted to check on something over the computer. The room was lined with computers… and he fell into a seat at 1 of them… and he began talking to me as he struck the keypad to the computer.
He told me how he was meeting up with women over the internet for sex, and that this was how he was now spending much of his time.
Without any shame or remorse he began opening up pictures over the internet to show me various black women he had carried on with… and was now carrying on with. They were mostly women outside of New York… a lot of them in the south. But I was…
Well, I was shocked.
All I could think was…
“What kind of Preacher is this?”
I stood there looking down on the man… as he gleefully went about his task of communicating with these women over the internet. I could not phantom myself wanting to do anything like that.
That man had it bad… but if I thought he was bad… 1 of my sisters overtook him. And soon after…
Well, maybe a year or so later after finding out about her absorbtion in this mess… I came to find out that thousands of women had fallen into the very same trick bag. And they too were rushing off to points unknown… like crazy to meet up with men that they had become enticed with over the internet.
Not to mention the hundreds of women who up and marry strangers that they become entangled with over their computers.
This thing is an epidemic. Truly…
I don’t understand it… but I know that it can all happen quickly.
I recall when I first started learning the computer… which believe it or not really wasn’t so long ago. Oh… yes it was… now that I think about it. It was about 10 years ago… No, I think a little more.
My then lover had taken it upon herself to teach me how to get started. We had gone up over to the Black Voices’ site into a chat room.
Don’t hear too much about them today… since 1 on 1 conversations have proven to be far more better…I guess. You also don’t have wonder about who is talking to who. And besides the technology has improved vastly. It has become by far very much more advanced.
But back then it wasn’t all that shabby either over a period of time… basically slower… much slower.
But getting back to what I was saying… as we were sitting there at the computer… me and my lover… I got my first ‘IM.’ I didn’t even know what the thing was… it was an ‘instant message’ she told me. But it was really more like an ‘instant photo.’
Wow… this was great I thought. But my lover didn’t like it… because the woman was attractive and told me all kinds of information about herself. She lived in D.C. etc…etc… But that thang came so quick… it was just like that. And if my lover had not been sitting there I might have struck up a conversation with that woman.
But today the technology is even better… and quicker. The systems are more compact and lighter as well. You don’t need to sit at your dusty computer all night anymore. All you need is your cell phone or ipad… or whatever you have and the possibilities are unlimited.
But would you really risk it all for some lewd encounter over the internet?
I was never really a chat room person. But the 1 sister I referenced above… she stayed there. Now, she is on to the next level…social networks. First it was myspace…now facebook… and who knows what else.
She has met countless men during the course of these past …I don’t know …but I am sure more than 10 years of being involved in this type of behavior. She is overcome by it… and sadly many many …many other women are too.
Personally, I think it is just a step up from prostitution. You are just not getting paid for it. Well, maybe they are if you consider dinner and a cheap hotel constellation for your services.
Needless to say… I have spent many hours considering the actions which she takes so lightly… and prayerfully so. I find it hard to believe that anyone would trust such encounters… if for no other reason than just the health risk alone.
How do you so willingly trust people who many of them over the internet… use a bunch of alias’… and tell a bunch of lies.
And if they really had anything going on in their lives would not have to be meeting up with people over the internet.
And the worst thing about it is this…
- How do you go running off to meet up with somebody you don’t even know?
And all that you do know is what they have told you… which for the most case is a bunch of nothing. Just some stuff to make you all hot and bothered… and eager to give them what they want.
Maybe, I am not the brightest or the smartest… but I am not going to involve myself with seeking out people over the internet to fall into bed with… or with the hope that they will become my husband or wife.
The old fashion way of meeting people… and getting to know people worked just fine for me when I was doing that kind of thing. And I would never be fool enough to want to risk my life… or livelihood on a virtual reality relationship of any sort.
Evidently, Congressman Weiner was quite proud of his lower half. So much so that he would take pictures of it and forward them out to women …and possibly young girls… over the internet.
It is all so boyish to me… childish. I recall when growing up… and it seemed that young boys are so anxious to show you their stuff. I really cannot remember how many times those of the male species had exposed themselves to me. Or tried to grab my hand and try to force me to touch something that I did not want to touch… that was attached to them.
But certainly by the time they become adults… I would think that they would have all grown out of obsession with it. But not so.
Once while standing down on the platform of the subway waiting on my train… I happened to glance across to the platform just across from me. There staring at me was a man openly exposed with his penis in hand and ejaculating.
I have no idea of what all the intrigue with their lower part is… but somehow those men who have not outgrown playing with themselves in public places… or flashing themselves at women… truly they need to get a life. And put their hands and heads on bigger and brighter things in this world.
And some women are just as bad… but they do it in other less obvious ways.
No doubt it is truly a spirit which overtakes people. But the Bible says… ‘be ye not enticed.’
I find nothing enticing in it. I have always shied away from people who seemed to be too sexually aggressive. I found it to be a big turn off. Today… though I do not dwell on sex… but I know that many do.
I am so happy that God released me from the trap that I was in. I used to be driven by sexual desire. It was all I could think of.
Some might say that I was a late bloomer since I had not dealt sexually until after I hit the ripe old age of 25. But even then I was timid… highly selective… and quite discrete.
But sexual desire had me. It held me captive. But thank God… He set this captive free… and I now walk in liberty.
I cannot think of anything I would rather not do …than to once again fall prey to my old sexual ways. To be caught up in sex. It was all I would think about… and all I wanted to do. I am soooooooo happy to be free.
But Weiner was as dumb as they get.
As much as I was driven by my desires… I never did anything that would make a fool out of me.
Perhaps, I was a bit prudish in my ways. I had heard it said of me… that I liked doing it… but I just didn’t like talking about it. Nor was I willing to film any video tape footage of me indulging sexually… or take any photos of me naked. I have to admit that… at the time I liked to hang out at a certain nude beach… but that was the extent of my public exposure.
Once a woman sent me a nude photo of herself. This was before computers… when I opened the envelope I was horrified. I dropped that picture like it was something hot. The woman was totally naked… and she had positioned herself with her legs wide open. I will stop there.
I could barely pick up that picture. I didn’t even want to touch it to stuff it back into an envelope and forward it right back to her. How dare anyone send me such filth. I forgot what I wrote back to that woman… but it was not nice.
No rational person would involve themselves in such behavior. The man had a wife who based upon the news is currently pregnant with their first child… and he was or ‘is’ a Congressman. How could he have acted so foolishly …and so carelessly.
The Bible says… ‘what is done in the dark will come to light.’
Weiner after initially lying… saying that a hacker had done it… he now states that he mistakenly sent the photo of his lower part by error over Tweeter. He stated that when he realized his mistake he quickly tried to remove the photo. Needless to say… by that time it was a little too late.
In all of his excitement… Weiner certainly ‘exposed’ himself. It came to light…
Well, I really only got up to go to the bathroom. Never intended to write this… but I had fallen asleep with my son’s laptop resting partly on my stomach and upper legs.
So, just as I crawled back into bed… I decided to check the news headlines. And it read… ‘Weiner admits lewd tweets.’
After nearly 2 weeks of lying about it Anthony Weiner finally decided to breakdown and tell somewhat of the truth. It is kind of like John Edwards over his mistress and baby outside of his marriage… or like Bill Clinton in the White House with Monica. Or like that Senator in the men’s bathroom… something about his foot and the stall next to his.
We have been through it before… and it always seems that if we give it a week or so the story will change. The lie becomes a half truth… because you can’t really believe that a liar is really going to tell you the truth… not the whole or even the real truth. They only admit to just enough… but never tell us really ‘the truth’ concerning the matter for which they have become embroiled.
We never quite get the whole sordid truth out of them.
But do we really need to… or expect to?
Do you recognize any of these faces?
Do you remember any of their initial stories?
Wait a minute… I think that there are a few pictures missing.
Is morality a thing of the past?
I have got to get some sleep. It is starting to rain now. I hear it lightly hitting the windowpane. Good night… rather morning…and enjoy your weekend.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
Add a comment June 11, 2011
I have never thought much of Arnold Schwarzenegger since a controversy once arose about him being a racist. I have since forgotten the details… but I think it had to do with him not hiring minorities within his staff, as governor of California. Or maybe it was something to do with him not having any minorities in his movies.
Through the course of living we have grown accustom to reading and hearing stories of men and women who have fallen down… who were living double lives and baring children with people outside of their vows of matrimony. So, this story about Arnold Schwarzenegger really shouldn’t be a great surprise. He is afterall… a man.
Don’t you hate hearing that?
“Well, he’s just doing what men do.”
“All men do it.”
“Maybe he wasn’t getting any at home.”
And the list goes on and on… as to the kinds of things people will say.
But sometimes we are caught off guard. People who we never would have suspected… though I would never classify Arnold as 1 of those as there had been rumors. Things about him groping and feeling up on women. But there were people like for instance… John Edwards. Even watching that mess unfold while standing at the counter of a local corner store… I just could not believe it. Not him was all I kept saying. Not goody 2-shoes… squeaky clean John Edwards. The John Edwards who said-
“I’m in love with my childhood sweetheart… that John Edwards?”
Then before him… there rose up Jesse Jackson. What a fine dude he was in his day. And I do mean fine.
He was the 1 that all the networks turned to concerning ‘black issues.’ He was a man for all season when it came to… his peoples…
Up to the point where he called Obama the ‘N’ word. But let’s go back before that… to those pictures displayed upon the front page of the New York Post and everywhere else… of Jesse… and ‘the’ woman… the very pregnant woman …carrying his ‘love’ child… who at the time that story broke… she had already had the baby. That was the picture with him and Bill Clinton…another 1… and her just grinning like there was not going to be a tomorrow for any of them.
Yes…the ‘right’ Reverend Jesse Jackson. Needless to say that controversy certainly changed a lot of people’s opinion about him… and what he truly represented. Which as already mentioned… was compounded by that little incident with him talking off camera with an open mic on… talking some crazy stuff about what he would like to do to Obama while referencing him with the ‘N’ word.
Clearly, if I had been Jesse’s wife… and I have said it over and over… since seeing that 1 picture in the New York Post. The 1 with the woman being 7 or 8 months pregnant with Jesse standing… I think behind her… grinning from ear to ear with his hands stretch around her inflated belly.
Oh, yeah… I would have been just like Morgan Freeman’s wife, and got me 1 of those high power lawyers. And he would have been seeing stars for the rest of life… after I got through with him. He would have been too dizzy to ever walk up onto any stage ever again… when I got through with him. But I guess Jesse’s wife is kinder… gentler… and more forgiving than I am.
But some women when they have had enough… they truly have had enough. And Morgan Freeman’s wife was 1 of those women.
One could argue… what was he thinking?
Maybe it was a lapse in judgment.
But for how many years did he suffer that lapse?
I am talking about Schwarzenegger now. What could he have been thinking? And to be doing it with someone who worked within his own house. Who was impregnated with his child at about the exact same time as his wife with their last child.
And who allowed the other woman… a maid to bring that child into the house of his wife… where this little boy probably played with his other son… the 1 born about the same time as the child he fathered with the maid… a woman who worked for his wife… aiding Maria around the house… and probably with her children as well.
Is this a confusing story?
Obviously, not. It did not seem to confuse Arnold at all. Because some how during the course of the last 10 to 13 years… the span of the life and birth of his outside son… he never slipped up. That is Maria Striver claims to have never known about the child before Arnold finally told her about him some weeks ago. Whereupon, she packed up and moved out… taking her children with her.
Not to be or seem evil… but I never thought the Striver/Schwarzenegger marriage was a good match. And it goes beyond him being Republican… and her being deeply rooted as a Democrat.
It just seemed to me that Arnold Schwarzenegger had a need to legitimize himself. Coming from Austria… and having a funny last name… combined with a funny and then quite thick accent… as well as… I guess he had some political ambitions. What better way to create for himself the type of American acceptance that he might not have ever gotten any other way than by marrying a Kennedy.
In seeing a picture of the woman… 1 would have to wonder what did Arnold see in her. She appears to be older than Maria… and I don’t know what she looked like some 20 years ago when she started working for the Schwarzenegger family… but that is all gone now. But then I thought that about the woman John Edwards impregnated… and about Marla Maples or Naples…or whatever her name was. The woman who Donald Trump took up with… and soon married. She probably was pregnant too… because that whole thang happened pretty quick. And soon it was over.
They snub their noses at those who do not have the money that they do… or who do not live quite as well off as they do. I’m talking about the supposed ‘high class’ who talk about… ‘all they do is make babies.’ But when push comes to shove they themselves are about as ‘ghetto fabulous’ as those they often look down upon. And they have far less class in the dealings of their own infidelity… than those they shun.
Though now nearing the end of his term as a governor, I have no doubt… Arnold felt it now safe to disclose his little secret. However, what men do not take into account is how women feel about men who cheat. And particularly if they not only cheat …but also make someone pregnant in the process of their cheating. And don’t let them walk around for years like they had not done anything… pretending.
But Arnold was so bold… he got the woman pregnant and then decided he wanted to be governor too. That is about just as bad as John Edwards deciding to run for President of the United States a second time… while his wife is dying of cancer… and his mistress was pregnant.
And to put the icing upon the cake for Arnold… it was all done within the preview of his wife and children. Right there under their own noses.
This is why I will never be able to stand that little guy… Woody Allen. I will never support him or anything that he does. To think that Mia Farrow adopted some children… and during the course of some time… he began taking lewd and questionable pictures of the then quite young girl… whom he later divorces Mia Farrow for… so that he could marry her.
What kind of craziness was that?
Clearly, the man had… and has problems. And I for 1 do no sanction them.
Another rat was… or is… that Rudolph Giuliani. Yeah, that guy from New York City who used to be the Mayor…then ran for President… and might try to run again. But he will never make it. Because women do not forget.
Giuliani… when he was Mayor of New York started seeing this women. This woman… he would bring to Gracie Mansion… the Mayor’s place of residence. in New York. This mind you was where his wife and his son lived. And Giuliani… the good mayor… would have this woman staying there with him… under the same roof with his wife and child.
What kind of a dog is that?
At least in the ghetto… most men know not to try that. If the woman doesn’t have an apartment of her own… then they know how to find a cheap motel or hotel. But ain’t nobody in the ghetto going to pull up to his wife’s house talking about he going to bring some other woman… in there to do his thing. Huh-uh… that ain’t happening… ever. Not with the wife knowing about it… it is not. Definitely not.
You have got to be kidding. And I am not joking about this… as this type of behavior is not acceptable. It is immoral …and it can be traced throughout history. Infidelity is not new… you only have to go back a few years to Bill Clinton and his little 24-year-old friend… named Monica.
It would seem that wedding vows do not mean very much today. Maybe never… as long as men and women have allowed themselves to become enticed sexually outside of their marriages.
Through the course of the 20 years that woman who worked in the Schwarzenegger household was taken care of by Schwarzenegger. Who knows maybe Schwarzenegger placed her there… got her the job in his home in the first place?
But upon retiring from her job as a maid for the Schwarzenegger… he bought the woman a nearly $300,000 house in an exclusive LA residence. And it also looks like he paid for her to have a boob job as well. Because in her pictures she clearly looks like she had 1. It does not look natural.
The 1 thing about outside of a marriage children… it is funny how many times those children look more like the men that fathered them… than the children within the marriage.
The Bible says a good name is worth more than rubies. I was listening to a Preacher preach and he began to talk about rubies. He said that rubies are more rare than diamonds. I had never thought about that… but you know what it is true.
The way most things operate in this world is based upon supply and demand. The higher the demand and the less the supply…the greater the price. Except for this 1 thing… rubies. We often hear of the diamond mines in South Africa and other places. There are some areas where I have heard it said that they… the people who live in some places… almost stumble upon diamonds daily. In these places the people are banned from gathering the diamonds in their country. But I have never heard anything about rubies. I really don’t even know where most rubies come from.
Hold it …I have got to ‘google’ this up.
They are 2nd only to diamonds …and are only the 2nd hardest mineral known to man. They are found in Thailand, India, Madagascar, Zimbabwe, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Kenya, Tanzania, Kampuchea, and most notably in Burma. And here is 1 for you… they are also found in North Carolina… right here in the United States. Imagine that and we rarely ever hear anything about rubies.
But back in Biblical times it is possible that rubies were considered more valuable than diamonds are today. Because the Biblical texts says that ‘a good name is worth more than rubies.’
When you think of it through history certain family names have stood out in this country such as ‘the’ Kennedy’s… ‘the’ Rockefeller’s… and so on. And with those names has come a certain level of respect… and to degree of regard… reverence and honor. These names are held in high regard and come with a track record so to speak of commitment and success. Having such a name opened doors and created opportunities for those who bared their family mark… their name.
Maria Striver has held onto her family identity being part of the Kennedy clan. I never once ever heard her being refered to as Maria Schwarzenegger. Though I guess that was kind of hard to get away from totally as she was, and at this time… still is married to Arnold… who is still governor of California.
How it all plays out remains to be seen. But Maria has lawyered up… and if she moves forward this will be a big 1. And it will cut deeply into Arnold’s fun money.
The moment I read the headline to this story… I knew that I was going to write something on it.
I cannot believe that a 17 or 18…or maybe 20 something young woman would elect to surgically have her body transformed to pretend to be something that she is not. But then to do it… and want to play on the women’s basketball team… is more than a bit puzzling to me.
What is the point?
It just does not make sense. Maybe the boys team is too rough for her… or whomever.
Okay…so, you believe that you are man… and that somehow your body type got confused. And you decide to straighten out whatever mistake that you tell yourself that God must have made… why then after doing all of this… changing your sexual organs and such… I guess… from female to male… then why would you want to play basketball on the women’s team?
Could it be that somewhere down deep… she still feels and knows that she is really a woman?
Perhaps, as confusing to me …it must have been for the young lady, Kye Allums, who ventured out to do it. And recently she has decided to come off of the Georgetown University women’s basketball team amid all this controversy.
It is perplexing.
And maybe… you don’t care to hear this. But if it had not been for the Lord we would all be just as equally confused. Making all kinds of crazy decisions and seeing them as right.
I first heard this story when a friend relayed it to me. I, of course, had always had my own thoughts on this as I had come in contact with Queen Latifah a couple of times. I hadn’t run into her at any parties …but I had heard where she hung out at when she came across the bridge into Manhattan.
And I am all for letting people along… and letting them live their lives. I once was there and I always felt that what I did in the privacy of my bedroom was my own personal business. I, of course, at that time never had any consideration of God. I just felt that as along as it didn’t involve children or animals… then leave me alone.
I also felt that same way about other people and their lives. I never liked listening to people tell me about their long weekends with their boyfriends. BORING.
Because I never thought of the workplace as a place of sharing every detail… and particularly those kind of stories. I was more quiet… laid back. I didn’t talk about my business… and only half listened to what other people were telling me about theirs.
So, the story is finally out… and with pictures. But if you believe it or not… because most people believe whatever they want to… pictures or no pictures anyway. I have always admired Queen Latifah. I am not interested in looking into anyone’s bedroom… I have too much on my own plate for that.
But to me Queen Latifah has always been a good role-model. Even as a rapper… she did not sell herself out… or our people… or other women. She was clean… decent… and came with rapps that jammed not insulted… or made us shame. And then she flipped that around and made herself a movie star…it just showed that she was also capable of reinventing herself… and she was always an entrepreneur.
So, I applaud her.
The fact that you or I may not agree with what she does in the bedroom… does not take away from the fact that she is an adult woman making her own choices and decisions and doing well at doing so. And 1 day she may make another decision just as I did… but that choice is hers… God gave that right to her.
But here is something we can all agree upon… at least she is not walking around trying to make it seem that it is alright. She is not flaunting it.
That takes me now to Tonex. I saw Lexi’s interview… even posted a blog about Tonex. But it is hard for me to agree with anyone who knows scripture… as it is written in the Holy Bible… to believe that living such a life is agreeable to the will of God. It is totally out of step… and I would be remiss if I did not say so.
To some level I will not deny that I have and do still now suffer with my own level of homophobia… which might sound strange coming from an ex-lesbian. But even while living ‘in the life’… I had it. But the 1 thing that I am careful not to do… is to hopefully not offend… hurt… or despise anyone. Nor do I poke fun at… or laugh at… or make light of any situation of being. And this is the way that more people should come to be.
I am not talking about being in acceptance… but being understanding… loving… kind… and not confrontational. The Bible say that with ‘love and kindness have I drawn thee.’
Find that spirit within yourself… and you may start drawing more people to the Lord.
Oh, on my final note… since so many people have been hitting my blog for more information on Cher’s ex-daughter…Chastity… since the release of some pictures this week and the announcement that she is going to marry her long time girl-friend. Here is what I have to say on the matter…
Well, she has managed to harden her facial features and looks more like a man… but at the end of the day… none of us can really un-do anything that God has done. No matter how hard me try… or how much medication… and surgeries you have. It can’t be undone… no matter what the mirror says… or what people tell you.
I’m sorry, Chastity… it is just the way that it is.
Gender transitioning is a misnomer. There is no such thing as transitioning your sex into another. We are what God says we are. Removing or having certain things changed about our physical being does not change our basic DNA. It may corrupt certain cells etc… even effect parts of our chemical make-up. But it is impossible to totally reconstruct certain core things about our inner workings and true gender.
If you can transition your sex… then why stop there?
Why not transition yourself into being rich… or famous?
That’s the point… it just does not happen like that. Though becoming rich and famous are certainly reasonable and achievable goals. But reconstructing your entire physical chemistry is not.
Well, I have been working on this blog for the better part of my day now. Started at about 2:30 this afternoon… and it’s now a little after 4:30 in the morning. Definitely time for me to go to sleep now.
But I did get up to mop the kitchen and bathroom… and got me something to eat in the in-between time. In a few hours it will time for me to get up and go to church. So, I will say good-night…
Hope you have a bless day… and weekend. They say mostly sunny and warm weather this week. I really didn’t mind what we got this past week. It was dark and rainy most of the time. But I like the rain… and that is not to say that I don’t equally enjoy the sun. Because I do.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
2 comments May 22, 2011
Their whole attire is based upon watching people in music videos. That whole thing that they do with fingers…like we used to throw up the peace sign. It’s from watching the guys on the videos. Grinding and grabbing at their stuff…its from…
Well, you get the point.
I have read a couple stories on this romantic little couple…Keyes and her hubby to be.
But how does that happen?
He’s in divorce court…not even un-married yet dropping sperm all over the place while hanging a ring around her neck. Well, I mean on her finger.
Here is a guy where all you have to do is look at his track record and that should give you reason to ease back from him. What kind of man is he that has 2 children with the woman who has him in divorce court, and before settling that matter he impregnates another woman and says-
“Lets get married.”
And I thought I was disappointed in Vivica Fox when she hooked up with 50¢. I thought she was too classy for him…just what I thought about Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown at first. Though I still think that Whitney had more going for her than Bobby Brown, and over a period of time I began to see where neither Whitney or Vivica were quite what I had thought.
Which goes to my point that you should never idolize people who you do not personally know. If you don’t really know them then you do not a true perspective as to who they really are. And that old saying really is quite true-
“All that glitters is not gold.”
Meaning though they may shine…be famous…popular…or whatever but what you see and believe to be good may… Well, it may be something totally different from you think you see. And I am starting to think that about Alicia Keyes.
The guy doesn’t even look like anything to me. But from the articles Alicia is totally smitten by him. And she has to be to want to…or to have allowed herself to fall into the predicament she is in. Pregnant with child by a guy who already has 3 children by 2 different women…and is currently still married.
I hate to say it…but it sounds so ‘ghetto.’ And I say that knowing that many people who live in the ‘ghetto’ do not all act ‘ghetto.’ That is to say that they come out of what is called a ‘ghetto,’ but they do not act or behave in a manner that reflects the negatives of that environment…or the stigma we have come to associate with certain elements within ‘ghettos’ or poorer neighborhoods…such as the character played so realistically by Mo’que in the movie ‘Precious.’
Within ‘the hood’ baby-mama/baby-daddy drama is something well documented…whether you witnessed it on the street or happen to hear someone conversing over a cell phone. You know it when you hear it. It is in the tone of the conversation…the shouting…the emotions…and usually the cussing and swearing.
Amazingly, just like Alicia and this guy, Swizz Beatz. The name alone gives you a clue that there is nothing there. But going back to my initial statement…a few months into a fresh new romance everyone looks as in love as Alicia and this guy in this picture. But then comes the drama.
And I have no doubt that it is going to come…if history has anything to say about it.
The mere fact that he had no respect for Alicia by at least waiting until he finalized his divorce to impregnate her and to set a ring upon her finger…speaks loud and clear. And it ain’t saying ‘love.’
Oh, you may say-
“Oh, he is just trying to do the right thing.”
The right thing?
The right thing was to respect the mother of his 2 children whom he is currently attempting to divorce before dropping a ring on somebody else…and making the other woman pregnant. And Keyes is definitely the other woman in this scenario.
If one went back in time it is possible that the woman who this currently his wife…may have at the time found herself on the other side of the table. And had been the other woman in that scenario between him and the mother of his first child.
It is a know fact that if you meet up with someone this kind of way…where you take them from some else… Well, sooner or later you will find yourself in the same predicament. While the person moves on to the next one.
This guy strikes me as someone who likes to fraternized with women who have made it or are their way to making it. Hint…hint… All gold digger are not female.
The ex-wife to be is a singer too…somebody named Mashonda. Since I do not listen to R&B any more…or rapp…or anything much outside of gospel music…I have never heard of her…or him. But in watching a music video or 2 of his… he definitely has to hook up with someone. Because his talent, if you want to call it that…is not nothing. You might consider him to be another…uhm… Bobby Brown.
So, he was in dire need to go to the next level. And I guess you can say he did just that when he somehow managed to rope Alicia into his web of romance.
At first glance Alicia struck me as clean cut…intelligent…gifted…and a young woman of high standards and morals. But she seems to have believed the hype and sunk into the life of supposed stardom… rapp culture… and whatever else. She seems to have lost some of that style… innocence… and intuitiveness I thought she had.
So, how come she didn’t see this guy coming?
How could she have fallen so deeply under his spell?
Her style changed… her talk changed …she changed. She started showing more…and leaving less to your imagination.
Then I had thought it was going to be Alicia and Common. But Serena Williams tied that up.
But personally she looks smart enough to be a lawyer’s wife… or some doctor’s wife. But somebody with a brain seemed to be what I would have thought Alicia would have wanted. Somebody like a Barack and not a Swizz Beatz.
But maybe like Vivica…Alicia wanted a thug. Just somebody able to throw her down and sex her all night long. But I would have thought that she would’ve wanted far more than that.
Maybe someone she could converse with. Somebody who could do more than flash and throw his hands up in the air… or spin a couple of turntables. Somebody who knew something about responsibility. Somebody who could really love and respect her. Somebody who felt so deeply about her that he would not dare pull her into a mess.
What happened to her common sense?
Why would she want somebody who would pull her down?
Is she oblivious to what has been going on around her concerning messing with married men…and baby-daddies?
Doesn’t she realize that depending upon what state they live in that his children could pull a piece of her earnings too?
Yes, that is right. Once his way of life increases under the influence of Alicia’s money… she could be forced by the court to aid him in supporting his other children due to her income.
I know that it is hard to find men today who do not have any children… but there are some. Some fine decent men waiting on a fine decent woman. Who work and are more than capable of support his queen to be.
I see Alicia carries expensive bags… which cost thousands of dollar, like Chanel, Veneta, Louis Vuitton etc…etc… then why go bottom shelf when it comes to choosing a mate?
And she wouldn’t take a bag that somebody else owned. So, why do that when it comes to a man?
I don’t really know Alicia’s background but I have heard an interview or 2 where she has talked about her schooling and music classes. And it never struck me that she came from the ‘ghetto.’
And let me just state this…that ‘ghetto’ is more a state of mind than being. Because I know people who live in a variety of places including what would be called the ‘ghetto.’ But they do not possess a ‘ghetto’ state of mind.
How do you bring your mistress into Gracie Mansion, the Mayor’s mansion in New York City, where your wife and young son live to do your thing with her?
What kind of woman was she?
I guess Giuliani was just too cheap to get a hotel. But he did not impregnate her… least ways not that we know. And just prior to his attempted run for the White House, he married her.
As to whether they are happy or not… I can’t answer that. But I do not believe any woman can can sleep peacefully at night knowing that have hooked up with someone with a wandering eye. If it wandered 1 time…it can and usually wanders 2 or 3 times. And in Alicia’s case maybe 4… if someone steps up to the plate with more money and appeal.
And he did.
I do not wish Alicia ill… but I just do not see it working out. History always repeats itself, and someone’s nature is their nature. But God…only if God steps in and changes them. And this guy has z history that is speaking loud and very clearly.
But going on to my initial point regarding role models. Like Serena and Venus… I had thought Alicia as a good and decent role model. But this thing about being out-of-wedlock, pregnant and messing with a married man has definitely put a dimmer on that.
The problem is …is that because Alicia is in the public eye she does bear a certain level of responsibility. I have no doubt that she realizes that there are many young girls and young ladies who follow her closely. And for them she sets a kind of standard of excellence and determination.
Her lifestyle and choices like that of many celebrities gets digested, and incorporated into the being of those who follow them. Becoming pregnant by a married man…
Well, it is something most people do not brag about. It shows a level of insecurity… carelessness… and a balant disregard for the other woman on the other side.
This scenario is weighted in history. Its outcomes can be read in newspapers time and time again, due to all kinds of crazy acts of revenge… hatred… threats… kidnappings and murder plots. It is not a pretty situation …and under it no one can truly find happiness.
Because what started wrong in the first place …can’t help but end up wrong too.
Then that is not to say that errors or lapses in judgment can’t happen. But never compound a mistake.
No. She made a mistake. But she does not need to make another mistake… by marrying the wrong person.
Sure she is pregnant with his child. But if he was worth anything that would not be the case.
Clearly, Swizz Beatz lacks certain morals. I know that sounds like a foreign word to some. But morals stand for something. And anyone without them…
Well, would you really want to trust them with your heart?
Apparently, 2 others did. And you can see what was the outcome.
Why should the 3rd…Alicia’s relationship with him be any different?
And don’t say-
“Oh, he might really love her.”
Might is the operative word. He might …and then again he might not. She might just be another trophy to him. Might be just another target for his ego …and something for him to laugh about while chatting with his boys.
As is often in this kind of case… the man walks out on the other woman eventually…leaving her for the next one. It is an endless cycle for those who have no moral consciousness going from 1 woman or young girl to the other.
I pray that women wake up.
Today, we this scenario still plays itself out over and over again. In the story of Leah and Jacob …you can assume that Leah did not love herself very much. The text said that she had a tender eye… whereas Rachel was beautiful. And she could clearly see how much Jacob loved her.
It had to be painful.
Hence, any woman…or girl who loves herself is not going to just allow someone to use them with the hope of winning them over. Or baring a child for them with the hope that this will tie a person to them.
“I don’t know what happened to Marva. She was never ever like that before she met him.”
Before my cousin Marva ‘met him,’ my other cousin shared with me…she was happy and carefree. She loved life… and was always playing practical jokes. But then she ‘met him.’ She loss the essence of who she was.
He did not love her… but he kept stringing her along. Because he knew he had her. She gave him a child… but yet she could not keep him. There were other women in his life …but she refused to let go. Then he married another woman… and my cousin’s life caved in on her.
Suddenly, nothing mattered. Not even her own child. Her thoughts were consumed with him. Her desires were all for him. Then he shun her… cursed her …and stopped seeing her as regular.
And she began attempting suicide.
She succeeded last year when she finally turned a bottle of bleach up to her mouth. This time there was no doctor that could help her.
They could not pump her stomach. It burnt up her insides. And they could do nothing to help her but watch her suffer…for days… my aunt (her mother), her husband (her father) and her other sisters.
But at the funeral they realized that she was now at peace. But what a sad way to go. And what a horrible way of trying to find peace.
What could possess someone to love someone so much…more than than they do themself… or her child… to attempt on several occasions… and then to final succeed in killing themselves?
Could anyone on this planet be worth all that?
His life went on. But her’s ended…and ended horribly.
It had been compounded by 1 error after another.
There are some people not worth being bothered with. And particularly if they can somehow manage to cloud up how you feel about you.
I was once so in love. I do know how it feels.
Everywhere I turned I saw couples. Everywhere I looked I saw people walking hand in hand. Spring was in the air… and so was love. And I had no one…I was alone.
The one I cared for had cast me off. And I was floating …drifting in my mind. Reality was lapsing from me. I saw that which I wish I had. And it was all around me. Happiness …chatter… the glee of being with someone you loved.
But there I was alone.
And yes… it came to me. To kill myself … and to bring it all to an end.
But instead it was overcome by another thought.
I began thinking that maybe ‘the life’ wasn’t for me.
I tried it.
But I didn’t like it.
But I emerged from it pregnant.
I thought of abortion.
So, I just decided to go through with the pregnancy. Truly, that was my thought process. And that is why I now have a son… who I must say is a far better person than his mother.
And my goodness… what would this world be like if my son were not upon it?
I made the right choice. And it is God’s desire that we have freedom of choice… so we can exercise our right to make ‘the right choice.’
And I am glad that I made another choice.
It took me years to get here. But I made the choice to walk in liberty …and to come out of darkness. And I am so happy that I did.
Oh, well… I have got to end now. Because I am really supposed to have watched a movie… and now I’ll be up and working on a legal paper.
So, I really must get moving. Enjoy your day tomorrow.
In closing let me say 1 more thing… Alicia at 29 years of age should be wiser. I say all of this because I have no doubt that a lot people will read this blog. And I would just be wrong if I did not speak truth…with the hope that someone might hear. Or that it might help someone…including Alicia.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
You have got to watch the BELOW video.
1 comment June 1, 2010
Celebrating women… Mrs. Dorothy Height’s passing… and women we cannot applaud …what some women won’t do…
This morning before leaving out I made me a bowl of Cream of Wheat. Then I made sure I put on a coat.
Yes, a coat. Because… Well, because it is cold.
Though in speaking with one of my mother’s cousin’s I found out that they are having 90 degree weather in Florida. Wow…90 degree weather already. It is going to be smoldering there in Florida this coming summer if those kind of temperatures hold up.
But here it has been cold. And though I had been denying it.
I am now ready to face the hard and very cold facts…it’s cold. And I am not imagining it.
Yes, my conscience was bothering me… because I haven’t blogged in a short while. So, I decided that even if I just started it tonight then I could finish it tomorrow. And that would be so much better than not getting started with this at all.
So, that is just what I am doing. Because I have so much I want to talk about… I just know that there is no way that I am going to be through before this lab closes at 11 PM tonight…and it is just about 7:30 PM now.
First, let me start by mentioning the passing of Mrs. Dorothy Height. Though I had never met her, I certainly did know of her.
Mrs. Height along with her many years of work as a Civil Rights activist, and as head of the National Council of Negro Women… she was also known for her signature hats which she always sport without fail through the years.
She passed on Tuesday, April 20th in Washington, DC after several weeks of illness. It is sad to hear that she suffered. But truly she exemplified all the strengths and character of the women with whom she had the great fortune and I am sure pleasure to walk among… such as Mary McLeon Bethune, Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, Betty Shabazz, Coretta Scott King, Myrlie Evers, Ida B. Wells, Shirley Chisholm, Fannie Lou Hamer, Barbara Jordan, Bernice Reagon, Bessie Coleman and so many others.
It is odd that I am writing this blogg on this topic today. I never plan these things and never have any idea where I am going when I first start. And believe me that some people have written me pointing that out to me. But I welcome your comments…good or bad…or indifferent feel free to comment or drop me a note or 2.
I love celebrating women…and it has nothing to do with me being a past lesbian.
Maybe it is that my mother was a woman…my grand-mother was one…my great grand-mother was one… and all my aunts and nieces and most of my friends are one. And I think of them as being phenomenal people…and women. Clearly, Mrs. Height and all the women that I mentioned above were phenomenal women…but the women I am going to mention now are not. Some how they both fell well below the mark.
Many times while surfing over the internet looking for things…mostly to buy…I sometimes come across things or an article that sparks my saying something. And these 2 stories did just that…though one of them I saw on the Oprah Show.
But this story I came across over the internet. In reading it …it made me wonder-
“What women won’t do for a man.”
What this women did was insane…and she is not the first. Though if I were a Judge…she would have never been able to walk into my court with such an excuse…though I do not know exactly what her lawyer or lawyers plead for during her court trial. But if I had been the Judge it would not have been that…because what this woman did and the reason behind it was so sorted and sick …and just plain selfishness.
She was not some uneducated woman out in the streets. But I guess we may all very well agree that her mind wasn’t half as good or as decent as many of those women who we so often look down upon, when we come across them.
I will not call this woman’s name…not because I fear being sued or anything. But I do not want to add to her ever becoming famous or known. I feel she should go down into the depths without fanfare or pity. She was indeed evil. Her mind was without a doubt twisted…and she did it for a man.
This is what she did…she sought out some woman who was pregnant along with a group of thugs…beat and killed…and tortured. Then she stole the woman’s infant child to pretend that the child was her’s in an attempt to fool some man…with the hopes of being able to keep him.
You can read the story if you like…the LINKS are BELOW. But what kind of woman would have done such a thing?
And I think what bothered me more about this story is that there are those rallying to keep her from being executed for the insane criminal act which she committed.
I am sorry…and yes I am very much a Christian. But I have no tolerance for people who allow the devil to use them in such a vile and evil way. And by judging my her most recent picture she seems to be highly content.
We have all…I imagine…been the recipient of some vile and most evil thoughts. The kind of thoughts that came to us that were so foreign to us. It was some insane maybe even immoral act…or something that we would never imagine doing. Something that we totally rejected even the thought of it…or thoughts of it.
And yes…I too have experienced it.
I have a cousin who told me of such an incident which occurred with her. She told me that she used to be an alcoholic, and once while sitting at a table the thought came to her to get up from the table where she was sitting. She said she was told to take up a fork and begin stabbing a baby…a little infant that was nearby…and to stab it to death.
My cousin told me that at that moment is when she realized she had to stop drinking. She recognized the thought at being crazy and that it had frightened her…because the impulse to do it was so strong. And she said that she never drink again since that night.
In looking up info for this blog I came across information on Malcolm X’s grandson. The grandson who set his grand-mother on fire while she laid sleeping. Betty Shabazz suffered for nearly 2 months or more before finally succumbing to those injuries.
I have often wondered about her grandson whom she loved so much…a problem child…and perhaps is still troubled today. A child that she loved so much that she rather to have him come live with her than to see him placed some place and locked away, because no one could control him. And at the age of 12 he killed his own grand-mother.
What I have thought about on the times I have since reflected on him…was what went through his head that he would have done such a thing to someone who loved him so dearly?
It cannot be argued that some of toughest demons to resist are those which live inside of us. It is sad. But when crazy thoughts come into our minds we must with all our might resist them. A very large part of it is learning how to pray…and how to call upon the name of the Lord. It is what my cousin did. And it works…I know it for myself.
Now, on to the story I watched on Oprah last Thursday or Friday.
I had been in New York when the story broke…but like most people over time I had forgotten it. But if I thought the woman I wrote about above was evil that goes doubly for Vanessa Jackson…whom one of my brothers informed me was a member of the Church of God in Christ.
Note in the picture above…you will notice that 4 of the children look like something is wrong with them. They are different from the other children…not quite as well dressed…and if you look real closely you see that they were not as well…
Well, healthy looking…meaning not well nourished. Because they were not. That woman and her husband straved those little boys…while she, her husband and their biological children all eat well and seemed to be quite happy.
Some neighbors called 911 because late one night they heard a noise outside their window. And when they looked out they thought they saw what looked to them like a very young child rampaging through their garbage looking for food.
That young child was the boy in the picture to the right of the woman. The little tiny boy who looks so light and fragile. He was actually 19 years old and weighed under 60 pounds. And look at her own children…some of them quite plumb… as well as, she and her husband.
How could anyone be so heartless and so cruel?
These people called themselves ‘saved.’ They took those boys to church with them and their other children every Sunday. These people adopted those boys.
On the show the boys told how the woman would dress them in 3 or 4 sweaters under their clothes to make them appear fatter. How we gave them pancake mix to eat…and would tell them that they only had ‘x’ amount of time to eat it.
What kind of depraved people exist in this world?
Is money that important?
Vanessa Jackson and her husband, who has since died while in prison, went to church where they…I hope…were taught ‘love’…and that it is better to give than to receive. But somehow they felt that taking and cheating…and being evil and cruel was a better way.
They straved those little boys…and aided in seriously debilitating their growth, physically and mentally.
I could never love money that much. The world is filled with sick and degenerate people. I am so thankful to God that He gave me a mind to not to be 1 of them. And I hope that you aren’t either.
My Mother’s Day started with my cousin Jean…who loves reading her name in my blogs…waking me up early. It was then followed by my son telling me to get up and get dress because he was taking me to breakfast.
And what do you know it is not 11 o’clock yet. I must be getting better at this…because I am just about finish with this blog.
And don’t you dare leave out without your coat.
And God bless….
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
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Add a comment May 12, 2010
Well, what can I say…except she has done it again. Though she dominated much of the game playing some of women’s greatest tennis. ..and she really did. I enjoyed watching her play…and how well she kept her opponant working and running chasing down balls…and how she made Serena run and chase down balls…and send the balls back.
It was certainly not hard to see Saturday night during the Australian Open Women’s Final why Serena is ranked #1 in the World. Along with #1 Woman Athelete…#1 Women’s Sports highest ever prize winner…#1 in Women’s Tennis Doubles (along with her sister, Venus)…and #1 in the eyes of her older sister…and just as deadly on a good day…Venus Williams.
The love and respect that they share for each other is not hard to recognize. While baby sister sweated it out on the court…older sister, Venus sat prayfully in the stands along with their ever faithful mother, Oracene Price. With ever stroke Venus sat clutching her hands…cupping her chin…watching every ball as she not only sweated it out with her younger sister but you could see that she struggled with her…mentally right up until the very end. And when it was all over little sister pulled herself up from the ground and went over to her mother and the waiting arms and kisses of her mother…and an ever elated older sister who could not have been prouder as she stretched down gripping her little sister in her arms and buried a kiss upon her while whispering something in her ear.
Now, that is love.
So many times sisters and brothers get so caught up rivaling one another…that they have very little appreciation for one another. Sibling rivalry can be one of biggest problems for why most families cannot get along. Clearly we all need to take a page out of Venus and Serena’s play book about family love and admiration, for the skills and gifts that God has so richly invested in all of us.
To be so dominant on the tennis courts…and often coming up against one another… yet both of them maintianing the desire to want to win and become #1…earn alcolades…and huge bundles of money coupled by the fame and prestiege…and yet it seems that the endless challenge that one of them will have lose whenever they end up set against one another in finals…yet it has never impacted their love for one another. In fact, it seems to be that thing which drives them closer… with each and ever tournament…opportunity…contest of skill and power…and desire to win on both of their parts.
Saturday night during the Australian Open final, Serena Williams not only won the Australian Open Women’s Singles for her 5th time…nor did she not only take home yet another trophe… but she pushed up her game earnings into the over $30 million bracket as well.
With a combination of 12 Aces combined with sharp precision…speed and force…all of which played major parts in her game. Serena took it in 3 sets winning…6-4, 3-6, 6-2. But I am sure that when Serena hit the courts in the Land Down Under…it was also with a mind that she had something to prove. After being fined and forced to sit out a tournament following her outburst and supposed threat to a lines woman while playing in the US Open this past year. I am sure that when Serena stepped into the tennis arena of the Australian Open that she went in to prove a few things. With her main point being… that she had the capabilities and powere to put away anybody who dared to come up against her. And she did…back to back…and day after day…tournament after tournament.
What a game…and what a win. You go, Serena…and Venus. And congradulations on also taking the Australian Women’s Doubles again…too.
When I saw this and initially read this story I laughed…sarcastically of course. As I found the whole thing to be absolutely ludacris. I am sicken really by it…because to me it seems that these 2 women turned men are trying to make a mockery of God.
This last set of men giving birth to a baby… are 2 women who have turned themselves into supposed men. They look outwardly quite like men… but evidently they
decided to keep some things… and develop some others… but did not rid themselves of everything. And I think that it is sick.
Yes, I feel that this thing is sick.
Why would 2 women want to convert themselves into men…only to end up living their supposed lives as men…living together as gay guys?
It doesn’t make sense. It is sick.
On top of it…taking pills to masculine themselves up…then turn around and become pregnant with all those chemicals in the body of that woman/turned supposed man.
What is this thing about wanting to be a man…then turning around and wanting to do the most womanly thing any woman can possibly do?
And that is give birth to a little baby.
If they want to be men…then be men. But not try to re-write the birth code…or trying to revamp God’s already perfect work…and order. If He wanted men giving birth He is more than capable of performing that little feat for Himself. But since He has yet to do so…then evidently it is not His desire.
Then this last couple to do this thing…well, they look not only sick but freakish too.
How messed up can a little infant be who is being carried in the womb of some woman who has jacked up her system, face and body with a bunch of pills messing with her hormones in order to turn herslf into some kind of make believe man?
And yes…I said ‘make believe.’
In a couple of my prior blogs I wrote about this guy whom I knew… and I guess I still know him…just haven’t seen him in a while…who came to Salsa Soul Sisters, a lesbian organization…under the guise of being a woman. At that time once he began dating some women in Salsa…which is or was…as it still exists but under another name…but once he started to date some of those lesbian women the word started circulating. And I did say…that he came in as a woman…a supposed lesbian…seeking a lesbian lover.
Okay, let me break it down for you. He was a guy…who dressed in drag…meaning wore women’s clothes…who came and became a member of a lesbian organization…and while coming into the organization began dating some of the Salsa Soul Sisters.
And in my prior blogs on this guy…who we all thought was a woman…except those who happened to date him…they got to find out first hand that he was not… as he had not had the operation yet…but was working his way to it.
Well, when the word got out…the roof was blown off of Salsa when the real women got word that their ‘lesbians only’ organization had been infantriated by some man pretending to be a woman, and talking about he wanted to be a ‘lesbian.’
Don’t laugh because it is true.
I thought the whole thing was bizarre. It was way too deep for me to even want to comprehend. All I could think was-
But what he wanted was to be a woman making love with a woman. He wanted to turn himself into a woman in order to be a lesbian. Now, that was bizarre to me…and made absolutely no sense to me. But it did to him. And evidently to a few of my then ‘so called’ Salsa Soul Sisters.
But for some of my Salsa Sisters this act on his part to join Salsa and become a member of Salsa’s Board was an out and out act of war…and boy did they come out battling. Sisters poured into Salsa one night…coming from all ends. Sisters who had left the organization…and those who had gotten too busy and had simply stopped coming…and then there were some of the founding mothers (those who were still alive)…they came storming into Salsa and demanded a vote. And when it had all been said and done by the end of the night they added a note to their charter…and it went like this-
“No woman born biologically a man could ever become part of Salsa’s Board or membership.”
So, needless to say we never saw the guy again in any of our meetings…but some of us had befriended him and would occasionally run across him. He seemed to have no problem in finding supposed lesbians who were willing to indulge him sexually. One such woman he moved in with…and they lived as lesbians. But he disclosed to me that she wanted him to give her a baby…and he was feeling pressured…as it was something that he didn’t want to do. After all, he wanted to be a lesbian…not a mother. Or should I say…be a father.
But I knew that this guy took a lot of various pills because he was in the transitional stage of having his operation. Knowing this…I just could not help but wonder how a fetus in the womb of his lover… fathered by him could possibly be healthy…as this guy’s system had to be all messed up with all the sex changing medication, as he really was working towards having his operation to remove his male sex organ. He lived his life as woman…and that is how he acted…which is why none of us knew he was a man until some of our other sisters (Salsa Soul Sisters) started climbing into bed with him…or her as he called himself …and he had given himself a female name too which is what we knew him by.
So, when I happened to go up over the internet a few days ago and come across this news of another man about to give birth to a baby. As much as I really didn’t want to read that story…I read it. And upon seeing their pictures and reading about them I laughed…but it really was all sarcastic, of course. Because I really don’t think that it funny.
These 2 woman could not look more manly. Which is something not uncommon in ‘gay life’…but certainly not the norm. Mostly the fems want men…or the more dominate type want someone softer and not as hardcore like themselves. This is of course if they are into role playing…which means…those who play like they are male and their partner being female. Or then there are those who perfer not to play roles at all…but just be themselves…which is what many do…they don’t look either or…they are happy with being who they are and desire simply to be intimate only with ‘like sex’ partners.
So, looking at the pictures of those 2…that looked like very much men…with one of them exposing her swollen belly in every shot…just struck me as being humorous at first because of the obvious contradiction. Though inwardly I really felt they were trying to make a mockery of God…and I still feel that it is exactly what they want to do. It is not by error. Because why would you butch yourself up…beards, hair cuts, clothes, probably voices etc…to then want to turn around and do such a womanly act as become a mother when everything about you appears to speak to the fact that you clearly want to be a man?
Is that not a contradiction?
So, I have come to this conclusion…this can only be for profit…15 minutes of fame…lights-camera-action…a movie…a reality show….something…but not because he really want to be a mother…or even a woman in kind of way.
I can’t imagine children growing up under 2 highly confused women as these 2 women. I really can’t. I wonder how they explain what they are…or who they are to their children?
And truthfully speaking, his belly does not look healthy. You can’t take all that medication and not know that that it might affect the fetus in some kind of way. It must…and I don’t care how slight or mildly it may do so…but there has to be some type of affect or side affect to any child born to someone who does such.
I hope this is not the beginning of a preverted and highly sick trend. This is not to say that I think gay guys can’t make great fathers. I would never be that small minded. But I think that a bunch of people who mess with their gender…and who suffer from gender issues…yes, I feel that maybe they might not be the best canidates to parent anyone…or to raise anyone. Because clearly such people who have done to themselves as these 2 women have… Well, could they possibly love themselves.
They are out of step with the world…and clearly are trying to re-define gender and parenting…and have a strong desire to create their own reality. It is make believe…and springs out of a crazy notion that they can somehow restructure the concept of what is family…father…and mother. And even more so…what or who…is a birthing mother. And in reality it could never be a true…or real man.
Saw a few flurries this morning…but the sun is out. The weather is cold though and been so I guess all weekend long.
We were out of town over the weekend…and when I got in this morning I found the kitchen faucet frozen solid. And the house, of course, freezing cold. I felt sorry for the cat…though I had tried to warm up the house as much as I could. But I guess my efforts were just not enough.
But on the other hand it might just be a good time to have them put in that new sink and faucet that I have been thinking about. And why not start tackling some of the other problems I have with the house…such as getting those raccoons out of the attic. There has be a way of chasing them out. I thinking loud music…if they can’t sleep because of the noise…just may be they might pack and leave.
I can’t imagine the damage nor the smell in the attic since they moved in maybe about 2 years now.
I got to get them out. Besides I am thinking about transforming upstairs into a production studio and editing suite for some future plans that I have for this year. And I really don’t want to have those raccoons roaming around just above my head.
Oh, well…there is always something. I’ll get over it.
Well, I hope you had a great weekend. I did. I enjoyed it so much that coming back and finding the kitchen sink frozen really doesn’t bother me. It was worth it…for the weekend I spent with some of my young nieces who had never spoken so much around me before…until this weekend. And I loved every minute of it…being with them and their friends. I really did.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
2 comments February 1, 2010
I rarely read the newspaper…and have stopped watching television. So, the means that I accquire the news these days is usually when I go up over the net and see a news flash. Most of the time I pay little attention to them…but then there are those which draw me in. And I find myself having to read the story…and not out of real interest…but because I find the headline hard to believe.
Today, I came across one of those attention grabbing headlines. The headline read something like this…‘Gang Rape and nobody helped.’
How could such a thing happen?
What has happened to mankind?
The incident took place during a high school homecoming dance outside in some alleyway or something on the school grounds…for 2 hours long this raping continued. And kids stood around watching, while others jumped in to participate while a 15 year girl was repeatedly raped by up to as many…if not more than 15 to 20 people who in some way participated in this incident or stood by watching.
What would possess somebody to stand around and want to cheer on or watch such a thing?
Why didn’t someone call for help?
Or run and go tell somebody?
What is going on in the minds of our young people that they could get caught up in such a thing…and then become party to it by standing around and doing nothing…or worst…jump in and become more than a watcher?
Everyone of those kids should be pulled into court…and facing some type of charges.
I cannot imagine such a thing. There is not anything that I can see going on…that I would not try to stop…or somehow help in some way. I have seen men fighting their girlfriends…and gotten involved. I have stopped fights between kids. I have gotten between mama-bady-daddy drama. And did it because I just can’t turn a blind eye to anything that I feel is wrong…or harmful…or potentially dangerous to someone.
I don’t have a fear of getting involved. But I know that many people do not think like this. And I know that many people may feel that I am putting my ownself in jeopardy. And if I stopped to considered that…I might act like everybody else.
But I am glad that I do not. I’ve got nieces and nephews…and a son that I have to think about. I just don’t want anything to happen to them. So, let me try to clean up the problems now. Later might be too late…for them and me.
But how could I not help somebody?
Or try to?
But I have never ran towards anything in order to be an observer…not even as a child.
That is something which I cannot understand. Why would I run towards gun fire to see what is going on…or just to see who got shot…and laugh excitely about it?
Now, that is stupid to me.
Or, why would I rush to see people fighting?
If anything…I go to see if I can help…and whenever I am near a fight I go to break it up. Not to laugh and cheer anything on.
But this is the mentality of people…and it is definitely the mentality of of the kids. Everything is a joke…or funny. But somebody being raped…or killed is not a joke. And certainly not funny…nor is it entertainment.
This kind of thinking is dangerous for all mankind. If the new group of adults coming into this world are a bunch of desensitized robots…uncaring…unfeeling…unthinking…uncompassionate ids….where will this world be?
How safe will any of us be…as the world falls into their hands?
I once had a lover who had been gang raped and sodomized…and who knows whatever else. But I cannot tell you the impact it left upon her…and her life. Every time she went to the bathroom she re-lived that situation. That thing lived with her…it was in her insides and something she could not shake. Though she was successful…as an actress…and part-time music teacher…that incident marked her private life. That gang rape greatly colored her life in the in-between time.
She was not big in size…small stature. So, I can imagine just how helpless she must have felt…not to mention the terror of it. She never really talked about it except to say that it had happened. And I did not push it.
So, how could someone…20 or more people witness something like that and not do anything?
How could we…any of us be safe if everyone walking around us only cares about themselves…and have no compassion for anyone else?
There is a great need for serious consideration to be given for where will mankind be and the type of world and societies will dominate this planet in the next 20 to 30…or 50 years from now. Everyting is a joke. Blood…rape…murder…crimes of every conceivable kind and inconceiveable kind are happening today…and very high rates…escalated rates. And nobody is paying attention to it.
And not only a need for serious consideration…but something has to be done now regarding the attitude of our youth to crime and criminal acts. And high officials should be concerned now about what affects desensitizing our teens to blood and criminal acts via computer games, movies, music videos etc. will have upon the increase of future criminal acts and the types of crimes prepetrated…and to what degree these crimes are acted out.
Some feel that the lack of anyone getting involved had to do with fear. But if their fear is that great…then they should fear how much worst it is going to be if people continue to allow criminal acts to take place without something being done now.
They don’t have any fear yet…let the criminals continue acting out as they are acting out.
Fear only empowers those perpetrating the crimes. Fear is the biggest thing that they have going for them. That is why the Bible says….‘Fear not.’
The last thing you want to do…even with an animal…is appear to be afraid. Or in other words…fearful.
What happens when fear is taken out of the equation?
Then you have power…because the power ceases to be in the hands of him or them that are trying to terrorize you. It is one of the first lessons you learned really early in life. Usually while you were in grade school when it came to bullys…who were only as big and as bad as you let them be. But did you ever finally stand up to one…and saw how quickly the tables turned around between you and them?
While living in Chicago…I was at wits end. I was being stalked…something I would suggest that no one try to do today. Because I am no longer that person…believe me.
But I became a nervous wreck under that situation. My fear absorbed me…totally. I was well on my way to having a nervous breakdown behind it…had it not been for the Lord. I could not walk down the street without stopping everytime I heard someone walking behind me. Being in a large city like Chicago…this happened quite often as someone was always behind me…just not normally the person who was terrorizing me. In the evening when I went home…I would throw open the door to my apartment before entering and step in like police detectives…leaving the door wide open behind me. I would go from room to room peering in trying to make sure no one was in my apartment…which definitely left me open for the person to enter into my apartment behind me. But when fear has you…it has you…and you do not think clearly. And when you are not thinking clearly…you leave yourself open to a whole lot of the things… anything can happen to you.
I was tormented by fear. So much so…that by the time I finally got through it I vowed never again. I lived in darkness…afraid to turn on my lights in apartment at night…afraid to answer the phone (this was at a time before Caller-ID). I will never go back to being in that state again. Under any circumstances…or by anyone.
But at the end…the tables turned. It took a dramatic turn…and had not God intervened I might probably be in prison now…and there for the rest of my life. Because I would have killed the person. I snapped…and in my snapping the tables turned…and my perpetrated went fleeing from me. When I think of it now…it is so Biblical….‘and I will make you enemies flee 7 ways before thee.’ And that is when it ended…when I finally stood up to the person…the phone calls…the following …the threats….everything…and I vowed ‘never…ever again’
And I have never feared anything…or anyone ever again.
And this is how I know how big a weapon fear is.
And those who use it…count upon it being so. They dominate neighborhoods…housing complexes…streets…cities…etc…using fear.
So, the more that people cease to do anything…if indeed they are fearful…because I believe that most of them just don’t care…as long as it doesn’t involve them or their family. But those who are fearful of doing something to stop or aid somehow a victim of a criminal act…the more you empower those who perpetrate the crimes. Thereby, in the end causing yourself a greater harm…because you did nothing. And those that you fear become stronger and more more aggressive if they are allowed to continue. It is an unending situation…better to deal with it sooner rather than later.
If nobody cares about your neighborhood…then you should. Because you do live there too. And you should never allow anybody to chase you up or down a street…or make you run…or have you afraid to leave your home.
What happens when you become the victim?
And you will…one way or another…if you allow crime to fester unrestrained…or actively sought to be kept down.
I was pretty sick reading about that man who had imprisoned his own daughter in a very small basement space for over 20 years of her life…breeding kids with her. And all of this while living just above his daughter in the house with his wife…her mother. That story made me sick for such a long time…so much so I could not talk about it…much less write about it. But it is an example of the type of stories that we are reading and hearing about today. But if this is what is going on today…hideous crimes…stomach turning crimes. How much worst will these stories become in the future…if this trend continues?
Criminal activity is on an increase everywhere…and much of it we never even hear about until somebody leaks something. And many others because the value of the poor people who have fallen into the hands of some very sick people…well, their lives were just not worth looking into.
So, no investigation were ever initiated.
Take for instance this story….
It is very unfortunate when police officials pick and chose who is or is not worth looking for. So many people go missing without the police going out to look for them while they might have been found yet alive. But if they…any of these poor women in this story been some rich socialites, or high city officials or lawyers…or anybody with any degree of money or some type of clout…no amount of expense or time would have been spared on their behalf.
There is an imbalance in the world…and it stretches all the way around the world.
I know I have told this story in an earlier blog here… www.bsmith101.wordpress.com. It is when one night…late night…actually early morning…when my cousin, Vincent, was on his home from having been out clubing. As he neared his apartment…in the dark of night he heard a woman scream out for help. He went running in the direction on the cries and came upon the woman and her perpetrator. He grab the man and flung him to the ground…and then held him down until the police came.
My cousin was a very tall and handsome gay male. I have no doubt that most of his life he had to deal with people snickering about him as he was very effeminate. But he never hesitated to step aside for a woman…or get get up to offer his seat to a woman or elderly person… or help you remove your coat…or pull out your chair and hold it for you as you sat down. He was more a man than most ‘so-called’ real men. And not only was he a very nice…but also a very decent person…and caring in every way. He really was someone who would give you the shirt off his back. And if it cost him…he gave to you regardless if he had suffer.
You could not have met a better person than him.
He would have never ran towards a fight to stand and watch it…but to pull the people apart. Nor would he have stood around and watched a young girl or anyone being raped. I wish I had a picture of him…to put in this blog. He was a hero. And we need more like him.
Reggie Jackson of the New York Yankees was the same way. His name had found its way into news headlines for more than baseball…more than once because of some acts of heroism on his part…when he went to the aid of someone.
More people need to do it…and things would change. Just think of 9/11…what not would have happened if the people on those first 2 airplanes had been more like the people on that 3rd airplane?
In looking up information of the gang rape…I happened to come by this story. Though I had seen this picture of this woman many times…I never knew her story. But it is sick. In fact, it is more like beastiality.
She is a socialite…who married a man…wealthy man. He had built a jungle on his property and had a great love for his cats…the type known as ‘lions.’ So, as she started to age and as a means of re-capturing his attention she decided to disfigure herself like this purposely. She is called the ‘lion woman.’ Because she went under the knife to have her face disfigured into that of a lion.
It is beastiality…in its highest form.
What a sick mind…and it truly shows what having too much money and nothing concrete to do with it…can bring about.
Finally, in closing… I got an comment today on my Chastity Bono blog…which has been getting a tremedous amount of hits lately. This particular person was very disenchanted with my statements regarding Chastity and her sex change. But he used a very interesting word while stating his point.
That word was… ‘transitioning.’
Evidently, this person felt that Chastity’s…or Chaz as she is calling herself these days…decision to undergo that surgery to remove somethings and to add some other things… Well, that it is just a simple little transition in life. To a degree we all have to go through some transitioning in our lives, I guess… overcoming some disappointments…some losses…some set-backs…aging….etc. But the altering of ones sex is a bit more deeper than a simple little transitioning phase. And I think most would agree with me about that.
I was reading something on a quakco doctor…one that performs a lot of these type of operations…sex changes…who is now a supposed woman himself. After having undergone the operation himself many years ago…it seems that all of his partners have been women who ‘underwent the operation.’ He became a woman…and they became supposed men. Which means…they kind of ended up in the same kind of situation that they would have been in…in the first place had they merely remained what they already had.
I wouldn’t let anybody who is not clear headed put a knife to me. Most of these surgeons are quakes and definitely…these so-called plastic surgeons.
We are living in a sick world…truly. And we should all be concerned about where this world is going…meaning….in which direction it is headed in. Things are being turned upside down.
And I am not really trying to pass judgement on anyone. Because we all do crazy things…and years later wake up having lots of regrets. I still regret some things…many things in fact. And in the process I have grown. But thank goodness I did nothing that committed me for my whole entire life to a big mistake. I was fortunate…no bless…because many can’t say that.
We can’t change people’s decisions about things concerning themselves…and what it is or isn’t that they want to do. Nor can we force things down people’s throats…or should we try. That is one of the greatest beauties of God…choice. He desires that we should have it…and with the hope that we make the right ones.
Well, the day is almost over. Its been quiet and I am trying to finish up on some things. I want to complete some things before the new year comes in. I want my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, to be out and available for sale…my website launched. And a couple of other things settled too.
And I look forward to it.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card. Thank you.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment November 2, 2009
Finally, I am up and out.
We just flew back in from Tampa on Sunday afternoon, and I have been drained of any energy every since. I have barely eaten a thing. All I have wanted was sleep…and more sleep. But finally today I decided that maybe I needed to get out and get some fresh air to clear out the cob-webs from all that compressed air I was forced to breath in during our flight down and back from Florida. And maybe…just maybe…I was right.
Florida was beautiful. It rained most of the time while we were down there. But I loved every minute of it anyway.
My plan was to write my blogs during the evening while laying around in the hotel…as we were in Tampa for the AIM conference with our church. But our hotel did not have a business room where I could access a computer for free. Instead they had an UPS store with computers that could be rented at a rate of 59¢ per minute. Needless to say, I was livid. And my son had failed to bring our lap-top computer on the trip.
So, it meant that during this whole Michael Jackson thing…and Palin resignation…and the whole of the 4th of July weekend…I had been computerless. And unable to voice any opinions on anything to anyone accept to the walls of my hotel room…how boring.
So, alas…I am happy for this opportunity to be able to once again feel the rugged curves of the keys of my keyboard. And now able to voice my voice…but I have forgotten what it was that I had wanted to say.
Though through the whole week last week…I had much to voice…I now, however, find that maybe I am just too tired to say anything. Though I did think that Palin has committed political suicide…not to mention that there most be something bigger behind her quick decision to resign at this time. And then… frankly, I believe Michael may have been murdered.
If Michael was in the mental state that those around him claimed that he was in…then any contract signed by him for 50 concert dates would be null and void…as he was not mentally competent to sign anything. My other point to this is…is this. When an artist signs a contract…and particularly an performing artist like a Michael Jackson…the promoters would have insured him.
I am curious just how much the owners of the Staple Center in LA had Michael insured for…as they were the ones promoting the 50 concerts in England.
My second point…is this. No talent in their right mind would have ever signed a contract for 50 consecutive concert dates. Most entertainers can barely make it though a couple weeks of performing without becoming exhausted.
At 50 years of age there was no way that any out of shape performer who had not been on the road or on stage for at lease 8 to 10 years…such as Michael… could have possibly pulled off the 50 concerts that Michael Jackson was said to have been booked for. Not without battling complete exhaustion and/or possibly killing himself by dropping dead on stage while attempting to do it.
It was simply an impossible fete that even the King of Pop would not have been able to pull off.
Had Michael died during the time of his rehersals for his 50 concert gig…it would have meant a big pay day for the promoters of his supposed 50 concert dates. Had he died while on the road or any time during his 50 concerts…also meant a big pay day for his promoters. And having died while under contract…which Michael was…also meant a tremendous pay day for the concert promoters of his 50 concerts.
But had Michael gotten up on the stage and not been able to fulfil his concert dates…for reasons due to exhaustion…burn-out…fatigue…drugs…etc. This would have meant financial disaster for the promoters…and demands for rememburstments for all tickets of the shows which had to be cancelled. Something which no promoters wishes to ever face.
No legitimate lawyer would have allowed that to get pass him or her. He or she would have counseled Michael on the merits of legalizing those children as being his. And it would have had to have gone through Probate Court.
Then there is the issue of Blanket.
Why is she not named on the birth certificate for the child?
Was this legal?
Since Blanket had to have come from some woman…or girl…somewhere…who was she…and what happened to her? As Blanket did not just materialized out of the air and just came to be. Why was his mother’s name omitted from her son’s birth certificate?
The lawyer…or lawyers involved in Michael’s acquisition of his children really should be questioned…because it seems to me that they…or he…or she…overstepped some boundries of the law. Even though California laws vary so much from other states…perhaps it was all legal and aboard board. But I think not.
So, it is not a mystery to me…that papa Joseph is crying foulplay in the untimely death of his son, Michael Jackson. It is sad and becomes highly unsafe for anyone who becomes worth more dead than alive.
We await the autopsy.
Hope that you are enjoying this weather.
I got up early this morning to read my Bible on my mother’s very large front porch. The sound of the birds chirping and feel of the early morning breezy on a beautiful sunny summer morning…made it an absolutely beautiful experience. Just me…my Bible…and the beauty of the Lord.
Enjoy your day.
I am still twiddling my tumbs waiting on the publishers to finish…but the hold up this time is kind of my fault…in that because of the money I had already put out to publish my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE. You know when I gave over 2 grand to Xulon Press…which I go into more in-depth in another blog…and got nothing back in return. So, when I finally decided upon another company…I had to do it on a payment plan because I just did not have all the money to pay for the printing of my book all at once. Which was really one of the main reasons I chose the company that I finally decided upon.
Four payments in the amount of $175 for the package that I chose…which with a special they were running gave me 20 advance copies of my book for free. And they should have given me something out of the deal…as I had done all the work for my book including designing my cover and the layout of my interior pages…plus the editing of the my text, as well…which what has been the hold up.
I just keep finding another error…and I am such a perfectionist. It would kill me not to put out a work that is not quality. So, please continue to bare with me. THE BISHOP’S WIFE will soon be out and available for your purchase soon. the time when my book will soon be made available for sale. God is good…I am so happy to finally have gotten it done and out…and into the final stage of the process…besides getting out to aid in selling it.
And I am still working hard on my book trailer for ‘youtube’ too…and my radio promo. All of which I shall premiere right here on my blog site first.
Well, enjoy the rest of your day and I have so much more to tell you. It’s coming.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card. Thank you.
2 comments July 14, 2009
No consideration to his state…but only to his will to do what he wants. And undoubtedly he is hoping that other governors will follow suit.
But let us examine the state allocations of the Obama stimulus plan…
1. $53.6 billion to help state budgets
2. with 82% to be used for public schools and colleges
3. and 18% on public safety and other government services
So, what is the problem?
I do not see anything wrong with that. It is putting the money in some areas where it is definitely needed to be placed. Schools everywhere are suffering…the state infrastructure…okay.
But the South Carolina Governor wants to take South Carolina’s share of the stimulus and pay down South Carolina’s debt rather than taking the money allocated by the federal government…earmarked for health care, jobs and schools. For which he is playing politics…saying if he can’t do with the money as he wants he will decline to accept it at all.
Talk about cutting off the nose of South Carolina in spite of its face. Perhaps, if it were his personal nose the Governor of South Carolina would not be so quick to say ‘no’ to those funds.
The Democratic National Committee in an effort to inform the good people of South Carolina about the deed of their dearly beloveth Governor…began running ads on the matter. For which the Republican governor called ‘foul’…saying that he thought the Obama Administration was not going to play politics as usual.
Those Republicans can always think of things when it suits their own purposes. Those people in South Carolina deserve to know the kind of fool they have running their state…and it is about time that Democrats have started standing up.
I sincerely applaud the Obama Administration concerning the matter…and taking their stance on the matter of not allowing anyone to bully them. It is about time some Democrats with backbone finally got into some positions of real power…and used it.
In Willamina, Oregon, the school board is planning of distributing birth control pills to the teens in their high school. Following what they call an outbreak in the increase of pregnancy in Willamina. With fewer than 300 students in their high school system…they had 5 senior girls who gave birth to babies this year with another 9 girls on their way to the maternity ward. So, feeling helpless and lost in a vote of 2-2 the school board was split on whether or not to start passing out birth control pills.
This to me is tantamount to an ostrich putting its head into the ground.
Now, not only an urban problem…the problem of teenage pregnancy is hitting the white suburbs with a bang. After all…remember Sarah Palin and her 17 year old daughter…all the way up there in Alaska…facing the same issue. When this issue was one confronting poor people…and mostly non-whites…the issue was lightly overlooked…much like the issue of drugs and AIDS used to be…in the beginning…when it only affected the ‘thems’…’those people over there…in the ghetto.’
It seems that when certain issues only affect certain people…nearly everybody in this country finds little effort in turning a blind eye to it and on them…just as long as those issues continue impacting certain people. But like those teens in Massachusetts who made the pact to get pregnant…as if having a baby is a game…which sparked momentary conversations but that was it…don’t let it start hitting them.
The lily white areas of Oregon now too?
And evidently…Alaska as well.
Well, now…now…now something really must be done…now.
Today is the 6th anniversary of the Iraq War.
Thank God…for a change.
What in this world has changed for the better since Bush and his friends decided they were going to strike Iraq?
In fact, things have gotten worst…and in a big way. Everything is costing us far more today than what it did 6 years ago. Many people have lost a son or daughter, niece or nephew…or grand child due to a senseless war that has accomplished nothing but caused more problems…hardships…pain…and hurt in the lives of people around this world…not just here in America.
Well, here is a story for you. This story below is worth reading for all of those starving for love…but looking in all the wrong places.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on “
Add a comment March 16, 2009
I actually do not see what the fuss is about concerning that woman who when her babies are born will have 14 children.
Personally, I think too much attention has been already paid to her…which is why I have been trying to avoid the story.
But if you want to know my opinion…and perhaps you really don’t. But here it is anyhow.
She is just an obsessed little child who should never have been a mother in the first place. And yes…I do think that their are some women who are just not cut out to be mothers…or for motherhood in any form…shape…or matter. And evidently…to me this girl…or young woman…you take your pick…is one of them.
She claims that the reason that she wants these children is because her mother never gave her the love that she felt she should have had. Right there…somebody should have said, “Hold it. NUT CASE.”
What child never thought that their parent should have gave them ‘the kind’ of love they should have had?
I remember many times wishing I was dead…and hating my parents because I felt that they were mean to me.
It wasn’t until we became adults…got much older that we came to realize and appreciate the love…the attention…and everything else that goes along with parenting…including chastising us. It is the latter years that we later came to appreciate our parent’s efforts. Otherwise, who knows what kind of monsters we would all be today…had it not been for them?
But not everybody gets to that point. Some children…and particularly…those children who were spoiled…they never get to that point. They for some reason they always wine up feeling just the opposite. They feel that their parents never did enough for them.
It is for this reason…that parents have to be very careful as to just how much they indulge their children…by giving them too much. This I have seen within my own family.
Because when many parents didn’t have some things while growing up themselves…they always usually want to ensure that their children do have it. And they give it to them…whatever they feel that they didn’t have but would have loved to have had or wasn’t allowed…they generously and freely indulge their children with. This was the way my parents thought…and they gave to us.
Out of 8…I am the only one who is different. I would try to tell them no…on some occasions.
I recall when my mother decided that she was going to buy me a car. I had seen this cute little convertible…used car that I wanted…and tried to get her to buy it for me. But instead she bought me a brand new shiny red VW. The Bug was okay…but I really wanted that convertible.
Just how many kids do you know who would have loved and been happy with any car if their parents had gotten it for them?
When kids have too much they just do not appreciate it. And they…for the most part…will never appreciate it…or for anything. Because that is what spoiling a child can do. It corrupts them and their perception of things. They end up with a feeling of what they ‘deserved.’
I have seen that girl talking to her mother…and though she was not disrespectful…I could tell that she had probably been spoiled.
Well, one proof of this was the fact that she was already the mother of 6 children…and still living in her parent’s home.
A grown woman…with 6 kids…and still living in her mother’s house?
Can you imagine parents helping their daughter to their own demise?
Her parent’s house is currently in foreclosure due to the fact that they owe money on their mortgage…as they struggled to aid their daughter with her other 6 children.
Had that young woman had any responsibility from the unset…when she first started having babies…there may not be any stories on her now about giving birth to 8 more.
Eight at one time…what woman could handle that…even the best of mothers.
I think by this time she may have already done it. Had the babies…
Wow…imagine 8 little bodies occupying a space made to accommodate 1. They look as though they have been through a battle…each one fighting for his or her space in that womb.
The young woman…she has been on television show after television show…which shows she seeks attention. Clearly, she does have a problem. And when the camera lights dim…and that story fades into the not so distant past…what shall become of her children?
What happens to them when they will fail to give her the spotlight of attention any longer…when the story fades from the news headlines…and then they are no long little infants laying in a bed?
Well, currently…I read that she is considering a role in some XXX movie. Need I say more?
That doctor who is fertilizing these women…with all these multiple kids…he must be a quack. And someone really should be seriously investigating him.
I do realize that for the most part…every parent loves their child and/or children…and desires to give them the world…provide for them…and all of that. But there can be a pitfall to giving them too much. Many rich people are guilty of this. Oftentimes, they feel guilty for having worked too hard and not having been around.
So, what do they do?
They load their children with lavish gifts. Rather than giving them…their children what they really need…a little love…attention…and of what little time they may have. Thus, they feel that they can compensate their child and/or children for the lost of their attention with things…gifts…money…etc..
It really is important to make some quality time for your children…no matter how fleeting it is or small it is. It is better than none. And all the gifts in the world just cannot compensate for it…or the lack thereof.
This is why I have such respect…along with other reasons for Ted Kennedy. He was thrown into some very big shoes…at a very early age in his life with the killing of his brothers…and having to take on the responsibility of the patriarch of his family. But the one thing you can see about him…is how they all response to him…Uncle Teddy.
They adore him…his children…nieces… nephews…etc… They watch over him…they went running when he fell ill. These are the things which speak for the dedication and effort one puts into their family.
I wonder how successful you could be as a statesman…if you were first not able to be successful at home?
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on “ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment March 11, 2009
I must say…if I have to say so myself…that I am so proud of me today. Oh…I mean this morning. I do not know what time I got up but by the time I laid back down…it was only 7:57 AM.
I got up and had my Cream of Wheat. And yes…I am still enjoying it. I had me a cup of tea…and read my Bible and then laid back down. A few minutes later…perhaps an hour later…I got up again. I pulled out my bucket…got the scrub brush…and pulled out the cleaners and scrubbed down the kitchen again…then I hit the doors and wall in the small hall leading towards the bathroom. I sprayed down and lightly scrubed down the bathroom…and left it soaking.
Wow…yeah…. I think I should be proud of myself…and it is not even noon yet.
There is something about getting up early. You will get so much more done for some reason or another…if you get up and get started early. There is just something about getting up early…there really is. I do not know what…but that makes you work a little bit quicker and harder…and you just acheve more. And now I feel so good. And so…so proud of myself for taking care of my parent’s house in their absence. For me having gotten up early today..and gotten started the very first thing this morning.
I have been busy working on building my website for the past couple of weeks…and the pages are coming along well. I am really impressed with the pages that I have created thus far. A few years ago I decided to begin taking some graphic arts classes.
When I was in New York and started my own homebased business, an advertising agency, Queen Bee Multi-Media Advertising Agency. I used to hire students from the campus right around the corner from my apartment…Pratt Institute, to do artwork for me. Pratt has a very high reputation as a good art school…which I never knew at the time…but the students on that campus turned out some fantastic work for me. I never went to see a client without feeling proud of our presentations which they had prepared under, of course, my direction.
I represented schools, furniture stores, boutiques, concert promoters etc… There is little about advertising that I do not know about…having also a history in radio sales, media buying, telemarketing, product placement…etc…etc…etc… But I had always had an artistic bug.
When I was a child, I had begged and begged my mother to buy me a home study art school course. After begging for some time my mother finally broke down and ordered it for me. That home study art school cost $300…and my mother ordered it for me. As much as I begged for it…I only did one lesson of that course.
Eventually, I gave away one of the books…of which there had been 3. They were very big and thick…in a large binder…bound in expensive red binding filled with my untouched drawing lessons…and I gave away one of the 3 large lesson books and never touched those books again. Something that my mother had sacrificed to buy for me…and that I had begged and begged for it. And I did nothing with it…short of giving it away…and back then $300 was an awful lot of money…that really had to have been a sacrifice. But she did it for me.
I guess she always recognized that I had talent…that I was gifted. Though she would have done no less for any of my other sisters or brothers…and did. As we all had to take music lessons…and all had various interests. She had bought us all our own instrutments which she had purchased for us one Christmas.
I will never forget that Christmas…which was our musical Christmas. My mother must have bought everything the music store had. Whoever owned that music store must have loved her. That Christmas morning when we awoke…we found a large electric keyboard, piano, drum set, guiatar & amp and accordian all up under our Christmas tree.
Before the day was out I had mastered that keyboard and could play several songs on it. The next day that keyboard was gone. My mother replaced it was a real full size organ. I think back on that now and believe that she did it…because it had posed no real challenge in order to learn. Today both the piano and the organ are still here in the house with me…and nobody plays a note on them. That is not to say that they cannot play them…they just do not bother to do so.
My father, who had a saxaphone, a ukalie and a trumpet…which you could hear him practicing on sometimes late at night…he made me play the accordian. When he would come home from work…I would have to pull it out after he ate dinner that is when he forced me to practice…night after night. None of my sisters or brothers had to practice anything before him…but me. And he always would fall asleep on me.
The accordian which was under the Christmas tree was my 2nd accordian. It was the bigger version of what they had already gotten for me before a year or so ago. And I went out every week to accordian lessons for years.
I hated the accordian. I loathe pokas. I wanted to play the piano…and in the beginning I had both piano and accordian lessons. But daddy wanted me to play the accordian…and we never argued against my mother or my father’s wishes. So, then my piano lessons were stopped.
As I stated in an earlier blog…our piano teacher was also my mother’s voice instructor…a little white woman who used to pay a couple of visits per week to our home…Mrs. Marlow. She was a very nice lady…and she knew her stuff. We were fortunate to have her. And that she didn’t mind coming to the home of black folks…though we lived well. At that time my parents had bought their 2nd house. This house had 15 rooms not including its full basement…and the house sat upon a hill overlooking the waterfront…with a long driveway leading in to our house.
I liked the house…but not as much as our other house. But it was grand…and it was spacious…but it was far more for us to clean…and especially for me…being the oldest.
Oh, man…the living room had windows all the way around so you could look across at the water no matter whether you stood or sat. And it had a very big fireplace…where we used to roast marshmellows…as though we were at camp. It was fun. And that house also had a raspberry tree growing in front of it, with a big lawn and all these beautiful trees with branchs swirling within it that yielded beautiful blossoms in the spring and summer.
I liked it…but it was a lot of work that house…and none of my sisters or brothers had to do more of it than me. I never held that against my parents though. But I did against my sisters and brothers though. They could never just drink from ‘one’ cup…or ‘one’ glass…I was washing dishes all day and night long. I truly know how Cinderella felt.
My parents were hard working people…who always did things for other people…and were always doing for us. Their lives centered around us. Which is why I regret never appreciating them as much as I should have.
I appreciated them…in that I never once caused them any problems…(well…except for the time I thought I could drive…I will tell you about that in some other blog, I am sure). I can’t say I may not have been a heartache…because I am sure that my being gay was not something hard for them to deal with…though they never once spoke about it. I am sure they would be surprised that I am no longer in gay life. But perhaps they had already known that at some point God was going to change my mind and my heart.
But I never gave them as much as I should have. Though they gave us the world…and everything else. There was nothing new that came out that they didn’t buy…from dishwashers on. As we became of age they bought us all cars. And we were always going on trips.
We went to the World Fair…
Do you remember that?
It was here in the states…in New York City that year. Now, only the big globe of the world remains at that site as a reminder of that very huge event. The location today is where they play the US Open.
But we were going to this place and that place…by train mostly when we were smaller…as we grew and learned to drive…mostly by car…and on by plane. They took us everywhere…and everything was a family thing.
I guess they lived the life that people who work…live for. To be able to buy whatever they wanted…when they wanted it…and to do as they wanted. And then…to be able to educate and provide for their children…which they certainly did. And they did it well…as well as, for their god children, neighborhood kids, church people…and those in need.
My parents had 8 of us…and spared nothing…including correcting us when it was called for.
Today, I think my mother would be proud to know that her $300 investment in me…really didn’t quite go wasted. As I later taught art in high school…which is so funny that should have happened…but it did. But I don’t think my mother saw any humor in my wasting her $300 the way I did…because I didn’t even try to pretend to do any of those lessons from that home art school once I got pass the 1st lesson.
One day…I think I was asking her for something else and she flared up at me suddenly saying-
“You are too talented and that is why you will never do nothing.”
Which was the tail end of whatever else she had said…I cannot remember the first part of it. But she was mad when she said it. And I was quite young…but somehow that always stuck with me. I don’t know if I quite understood what she meant…but I had somewhat of a clue. That statement has made me look at everything I have ever done…or thought to do…and it governs the things I am now doing.
Everything I have ever done is in media. From that day…when my mother told me …‘that is why you will never do nothing’…I have sought to not half learn anything…or half do anything…but to become proficient in everything I lay my hands to…no matter how long it takes me…or how many hours in a day or night. But if I set out to do it…then to stick with it.
I had to learn how spend the time learning to perfect things. To not get up from anything that I am doing…becoming readily interested in other things…other gifts…practicing something else.
I do not eat or drink when I am working on something. Nor do I take lunch breaks…or go to the bathroom…nothing. I am throughly engulfed.
Someone, an ex-, told me that I have tunnel vision. Meaning whatever it is, at that point or moment of my life, that I decide that I am going to do…I become so emerged and engrossed in it. So much so…that I only see it…think about it…and in some cases dream about it. I eat…sleep…and drink thinking about only what I am doing…when I am working on something. When I had my advertising business…which I still do…there have been many nights when a client’s project concept came to me in my sleep.
A wise elderly woman…my friend who passed this pass August…whom I have wrote about in a couple of these blogs…she told me that my habit of not eating or going to bathroom from morning into the very late hours of the evening was not a good thing. She told me that I would ruin my stomach…if I continued that practice. So, I have since been working on adjusting myself…my schedule and my body. I would hate to cause myself any medical conditions that I could have avoided. I had always found her wise in her counsel to me.
Yes, I was too talented…like my mother said. I could do a lot of things…and still can. And there is a trap to being able to do so. Most people are good at just one thing. So, they focus on that one thing. But to be multi-talented or gifted…you have to struggle with balancing your gifts.
I had to learn to direct all those gifts…or I would have become a ‘jack of all trades…and a master of none.’
My mother saw that…and that is what caused her to flare up at me telling me what she did that day…and how she told it to me. From that moment I began to focus upon everything I do…like these blogs which to date I have written nearly if not more…than a 130 of them since starting in mid to late June of last year. So, if you have just started reading them…you have alot of catching up to do. And you will have an exam in the morning…
I have always had to direct everything…just so I wouldn’t be all over the place. Though I do not think I have quite been so successful at doing that…I have endeavored nonetheless. But the most I can say…is that it has all been media related. But thank God for my mother saying that to me…and at a time when I needed to hear it…or I would have never been aware of something that was so crucial for me to grasp…and to have graspped it early.
It did not prohibit me from being more or less talented. But made me aware that I needed to channel those talents and not be flighty with them…but to engage them…focus them…and develop them to their highest levels. So, through my years that is what I have been doing. And from time to time…I find myself taking classes here or there…just like my mother.
That is so funny…when I think of. That I continue to take classes just like my mother…which is also something that I wrote about….in a blog or 2 prior to this one.
So, a few years ago, I decided to take some graphic art classes. The marketplace has changed so vastly with the influx of computers and software…everything is done totally differently today no matter what field you are in. So, I began taking these classes…and when I take classes I invest many after hours outside of the class to master the thing.
I do nothing without mastering it…and I invest the time to do exactly that…and the effort. Which when I decided to learn video production… it required me lugging around tons of heavy and very bulky equipment. It was not uncoummon to find me shouldering a 3/4″ video recorder deck, tripod, large light kit and large video camera trying to board a bus. And people wonder why I have muscles now…(smile). And I learned all that equipment…every piece of it…every cable connector…every cable…every kind of editing system, software etc…everything.
“Here comes Spike Lee’s sister.”
They don’t laugh any more though. No, not today…instead they ask about my film projects and what I’m getting ready to do next. I am no longer a joke…but it did not come without struggle. Hours upon hours of vested time, training, exploring…learning what I was doing wrong and trying to trouble shoot on my own…and sitting there until I got it done. Never looking for pay…but always looking to assist others so that I could learn more and sharpen my own skills. But I did what it took…and I still do.
Sometimes even in writing these blogs…I work on them straight for more than 6 or 10 hours…if not more…and it is usually more dependng upon what I am writing about…including searching for pictures…seeking out errors etc.
A professional is what I am…but a perfectionist is what I seek to be.
So, to date the classes I have taken in graphic arts are these…Photoshop, Quark and Illustrator…and additional software I have learned is FinalCut, Adobe Primere, Director, Flash, Dreamweaver, Avid, Fireworks…not to mention being able to write and read html…and having learned also all the latest stuff in radio studios. Though I played a bit with Freehand and at some point will try my hand at InDesign. I love playing with this stuff…exploring the capabilities.
So, I am proud of myself for having gotten up early this morning and gotten off to an early start with my cleaning. I am proud that the website is coming along too. And here is a preview , at the bottom of this blog, of something which I did this past week using the skills I have learned in graphic arts. Those Pratt students can eat their hearts out now. But those kids taught me a lot though…when they used to come for our conferences to discuss what my clients wanted.
Thank God for my mother and father…which is why I cannot understand that girl in Florida who killed her daughter and posted drawings of skeltons and other things symbolizing her acts. Clearly, she was troubled. But a guilty conscience will trouble you everytime.
There is something about mothers…real mothers…that when their child is missing nothing in this world can contain them. They act in a certain way…they become obssessed…and there is no consoling them. They are overtaken by grief and concern…and they are not interested in anybody or anything other than finding their child.
Once my son got separated from me. You will not know the sheer horror that ran all through me during that very brief span of time…but it seemed to me to be enternity. I was terribly horrorified. I was overcome and on verge of perhaps loosing my mind. I had lost my child in a large crowd of people at an outdoor affair which was quite crowded. One second he was right there with me and the next he was gone.
I felt someone had stolen him. And that was all I could think. I did not know which way to turn. People were all about me. I thought to scream out…but suddenly I looked up and across the field. It was as though a path had opened up…and there was my son. One of our neighbors had found him somewhere in the midst of all those people…and was bringing him back to me.
I dropped to my knees and embraced my son so hard…I know I must have been crying. I was so relieved…so happy…so overjoyed that someone had found him…and that it was one of our neighbors. I never experienced another moment like that…as I learned like every good mother who loves her child or children…how to keep my eyes or hands on my child at all times.
So, I certainly know the state that a real mother can fall into just believing her child is gone. She begins grieving immediately…because she will only think of the worst scenario.
That is what I thought about the Susan Smith case. The mother down in South Carolina…or somewhere south…that said that some black man had leaped into her car while she was stopped at a stop light. She said that he had stolen her car and drove off with her 2 small children in the back seat. I do not think that many people had to think twice about that story…but it was her actions following the supposed incident which gave her away. And likewise…were the actions of this young woman in Florida. She was out partying and having a good time.
When I thought of this young woman’s actions following the supposed disappearance of her 2 year old daughter…it made me think of that teenager who was at the prom and gave birth to her baby in a bathroom stall. And how she had walked off and left the bady there in that stall. She had returned to prom dance floor…and continued to dance and enjoy herself as if nothing had happened. For which she only got 2 years…or something…might have been counselling.
I understand denial. I understand that mothership may be difficult for many. But what I do not understand is when someone…a mother…or who be it…commits such acts as these young women against innocence. I cannot understand it. I just can’t…I just can’t… There are so many other options.
Parenting is a process…but some people they are just not equipped or mature enough to handle the responsibilities that it brings. This is the reason…that I know that young kids should never be bearing children. Everybody deserves to enjoy their youth…and have a time to grow up before taking on the task of motherhood and fatherhood way beyond the grade school level…and many times even beyond college. I was 48 years old before I realized that I had become a woman…and that I needed to grow up and start acting like one. Truthfully.
Not to say…that I did not mother my child. Oh, no… I was at doctor’s appointment, dentist appointment…sitting in the back of of my son’s classes when I had to…at every open house almost…and when I wasn’t my mother was. You have to stay on top of your children (just a frame of speech…not literally)…and certainly not in a bad way. But you have be conscious of them…what they are doing…who they are with…caring of them…and for them. And you should never feel that they are an inconvenience to you…and certainly never give them to feel that.
Therein lays the problem for the 3 young women whom I mentioned above. They felt that they could just rid themselves of their unwanted burdens by doing away with them. How sad for their children. How very very very sad…….. Sad.
I was checking through my blogs today…I watch to see what people are reading and who has linked up with me etc… I came upon this link in which the blogger found fault with a person who was standing in a soup kitchen line…and that person having a cell phone. The blogger felt outraged because the person was supposed to be down and out…yet he had a cell phone.
I found that to be as selfish…as a time I was waiting in the grocery checkout line. I never pay attention to what other people are buying…but this person near me…I believe she was just ahead of me but after the person who was checking out. I overheard her saying-
“Did you see that? She’s buying shrimps with foodstamps. And do you see her pocketbook? Honestly, buying shrimps on our money.”
Overhearing that, my curiosity was pricked…so I leaned a bit and saw that the woman had a Louis Vuitton handbag…a very nice and big one…and very nice expensive coat. These are things I also never pay attention to. What do I care about what people have on…as long as they have on clothes…or what type of pocketbook or handbag they have?
It doesn’t make a difference to me.
But I thought it a bit aburd of that the woman making the comment…that she was upset about the shrimps being purchased with the government supplied foodstamps.
Now, how stupid is that?
Even if she had gotten upset over the woman’s handbag…that would have been stupid too.
But she got upset…as if poor people can’t…or should not be allowed to eat shrimp. And that is not to say that that woman was poor…as none of us standing in that line knew her circumstances. But to question what people can or cannot eat depending upon what is or is not our preceived notion of them and as to their place or circumstances in life is absolutely foolish.
Why should that woman in that line…or anyone else in that line…or the whole store, for that matter…care whether or not that woman paid for those shrimps with her foodstamps?
Or whether or not she should eat shrimps or not?
She can eat whatever she wants. And she had legal tender by which to purchase it.
Perhaps, it is just me. Maybe, I’m the one obssessing. Could be…
But I think that some people concern themselves with so many things that really…that they have no right to be thinking about. As it is simply not their concern…or any of their business…nor their place to assess who can eat or cannot eat whatever.
Just how dumb is that?
But that is how I felt about that blog about a supposed poor person standing in a soup kitchen line taking a picture with his cell phone. And here is that picture…
Yeah, he was standing in a line that Michelle Obama, First Lady Obama, was assisting in at a shelter kitchen feeding needy people in Washington, DC…which I believe she does every Friday. I imagine a bunch of people were taking her picture including the camera crew that got these shots. If I was there…I would have taken her picture. And then asked her-
“Can we get one together?”
And whoever wrote that blog probably would have done the same thing.
How many times do you come face to face with the President of the United States…or his wife?
“Better start snapping, baby.”
But why should anyone feel that other people…black… checkered….green…poor… or otherwise are not entitled to have certain things?
That really seems stupid and quite selfish to me…and certanly demeaning.
“Well, if they couldn’t afford the mortgage they shouldn’t have bought the house.”
And I have heard this more than a few times…particularly following the last bailout of the banks on Wall Street.
Did not your parents struggle?
Don\’t we all struggle to pay off stuff?
Most people do. And they are not wrong to do it.
I believe that everyone wishes they had the money to buy and pay for everything that they want…when they want it…or need it. But that is not how life is.
The unfortunate thing about it…is that no one knows what tomorrow will bring. And we are all looking towards tomorrow.
When I looked upon house after house..and business after business boarded up in Detroit…I know that those people had been looking towards tomorrow. But none of them realized that when tomorrow came it would mean that jobs would be cut back. They did not see that the company they worked for…that their father and grand father had worked before them…that they would be downsizing or laying them off. Or as they call it now…’re-organizing.’
Who thinks like that?
The wrong does not lay with them…most of the people who find themselves in foreclosure…it lays with the mortgage companies which preyed upon people with over inflated interest rates…red lining, offering higher rates to certain people…higher closing costs…a bunch of double talk and small print…with high late payment penalties…and absorbent legal costs which they love attaching to their costs.
I don’t know if any of you have ever had anything repossessed. But once they repossess your vehicle or house or whatever…the company then comes back at you to extract the money even though they repossessed and sold off whatever it was…and they leave it sitting on your credit reports for years upon years hindering you from getting anything else. This clearly is double dipping…and these companies…none of them should be allowed to do that.
Once they have repossess the object…and they have sold it off that should settle the debt. But no…they come back after you. And not for the debt minus whatever they got for it…but the entire debt plus all other costs.
A friend of mine who worked for Greyhound buslines once told me how she had been sold a faulty vehicle. She said it was a real lemon from the day she pulled it off the dealer lot. So, she returned the vehicle several times to the dealership who in turn never did anything fix the problem.
Finally, she became tired of trying to deal with the auto dealer…and just returned back to the car to the dealership where she had bought it. She said that she drove right up on the lot in the middle of the day and left it there. She stopped making payments on it…telling them as she left the lot that they could keep their car.
Years later, however, she noticed that her pay was being garnished…it was the dealership. They had kept the car but now they were forcing her company to withdraw payments from her pay check in order to pay them for a car which she had given back to them. And at this point…she just folded her hands and gave up. She let the company take her money…because she felt that it was a hopeless situation.
There is something seriously wrong with the system that allows companies to use these kind of tricks to get over on and rob people. Companies like that dealership abuse…exploit and use the system…to their benefit…a company that knowingly sold her automobile which was not in sound operating condition…and they knew it.
I had asked her if she hadn’t gotten the notice to go to court? And she told me that she had not. Without going into court to defend yourself…as I have stated in another blog…the other side wins automatically. If summoned to go to court…go. It is scary…yes, but go.
The most that can happen is that the judge won’t decide in your favor.
There is always a case that you may not receive the summon…if they have it sent to another address. These are games that people play. It is the game that CitiMortgage played against my parent’s property. But they had not counted on the fact that I knew…by the grace of God…to go into court and file my own complaint against them…to stop the auction…and have since gotten that mortgage nullified and made void. And believe me when I said…by the shear grace and mercy of God. That is how it was done.
In closing let me just say…
“Stay away from bad deals.”
If you are interested in something…or getting ready to sign a contract for the purchase of something and that contract is not in your favor…do not sign it. Do not go into a deal…or debt…in any type of an agreement in which you are not at least a partial winner. Or at the very least…where the pain is not so great.
Sometime, we have all had to swallow a little pain…until we can fix things…like our credit. But yet beware of the sharks…stay away from them.
In the claim I had to file against CitiMortgage…they claimed that my father had taken a loan against the house for some $27,000 at a 16.20% interest rate. This total agreement netted CitiMortgage over $60,000 in interest money…making the total contract for over $97,000 worth of debt against my parent’s house.
My father would have never made an agreement like that. And the other part of it is…he wasn’t much of a borrower. Didn’t have any charge cards or anything like that…because he earned money to pay for what he wanted. And that is what he did.
Nobody in there right mind would have signed a deal like that. The company was making 3 times as such as it was giving out…that is robbery no matter how bad your credit may or may not be. And my father did not have bad credit.
I knew that document was a forgery even before I saw the signature upon. So, I took the case to court…claiming that they had preyed upon my father, if indeed he had signed it. At the time that contract was supposedly sign my father had been diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s which would have rendered him as being legally incompetent to enter any type of legal or binding agreement. Plus my father had several bank accounts and definitely had at least one which had more money than that in it. So, I sued…of which I wrote about in a prior blog also.
I continue to pray for you and whatever situation or condition you are facing. Be encouraged. And stay away from bad deals.
Well, my little siesta is over…it is time for me to go back to work. Actually, it ended hours ago.
I have to finish scrubbing down the bathroom. And I am getting a bit hungry now too. But enjoy your weekend.
I just finished looking out and it looks like snow…again. But it is warm on the inside. Though it might be that I am running a slight fever. Been fighting off a dry cough for the past few days…but I am winning. Well…some times…I think.
Maybe, I will just finish the bathroom…take a shower and crawl back into bed…and forget about mopping the floors tonight. It’s late now.
Oh…yes, here is a taste of what the website will look like. Now, you tell me whether or not if you think some of those classes that I have taken are starting to pay off?
Thank goodness for a mother who was not afraid to speak truth into the life of her child.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on “ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
4 comments March 8, 2009