Posts filed under: ‘Whitney Houston‘
It appears that my gospel blogs… or blogs about preachers or gospel music personalities etc. are infinitely more popular than most of my other blogs lately. I find that to be interesting.
Though that blog I wrote on that father who had impregnated 3 of his own daughters has been right up there since I posted that blog. However, that story was sick. But perhaps you like sick. If so, then you are sure to get a kick out of this… though I must say it is not funny at all… and really not something to get a kick out of… nor meant to be. But it appears that these kind of shocking stories today are more and more appealing to some people… and very appalling to many of us. Here is 1 that I have been thinking about since I read the story a week or so ago over the internet.
It is about some man in Boston who they tracked down via his internet content. He was… I guess greatly into child pornography. He had posted that he was into rapping and eating children… eating as in ‘eating chicken’… cannibalism. Needless to say I am so happy that they caught him. But I could not help but wonder if the man had carried out any of what he had posted about.
Based upon his web content and various magazines and pictures of children that the police had found in his home, the man was definitely a pedophile and also into satanism. Was it not enough just stealing the innocence of young children more than enough?
Why eat them as meat too?
What happens in the minds of these people that they allow themselves to get carried away with such deep dark thoughts that take up residence within them for so long… something that resisting them gets to be no option.
Don’t we all have thoughts that can be scary if we allowed them to linger?
One of cousins told me that she used to drink heavily but 1 day she said she realized she had to quit. She said that on that 1 day she was sitting in a restaurant and across from her was a mother with a young baby. She told me that the thought came to her mind suddenly to over to the baby and stab it death with her fork. She said that that was when she knew then that she had to stop drinking. And she did.
Could it be as simple as that?
Could all these deviant thoughts… crazy thoughts… frightening thoughts… be cast off of us if we just merely chose to refuse to carry out whatever that insane thing or deviant thing… or crazy thought… or frightening thing that came into our mind was.
I do know that such wild and intensely insane thoughts do come into peoples minds. Thoughts that when carried out… become unbelievable to those who knew of the person that perpetrated some heinously insane act.
I know this because such an insane thought came into my head once. It was around about the time after I had had… given birth to my son. It was something crazy and lingered with me for a few hours if not for days. I will not say what the thought was… but for some reason it had me, somewhat. I, of course, I never acted upon it… but it was a deviant and a mad thing… the though of carrying out an action which came into my mind and spirit.
For those of you who believe in Biblical text than you will understand this statement… though for some of you it may not have much of a meaning if any at all. But the Bible says, ‘We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with principalities, spiritual wickedness etc…’ It is those principalities… those strange dark forces, that if you are not careful you can slip into… and it will use you like a wet rag then cast you off like filthy rags ready for the fire.
My cousin fortunately had the hand of God upon her life… as did I. But I think of those who don’t know Him… and have no idea how to break the chain of the demonic spirit that is forcing them to carry out some depraved act… be it murder… rape… incest… cannibalism… etc.
This makes me think of that school teacher… or rather that notorious ex-school teacher… a woman who started having a sexual relationship with a 13 or 14 year old boy in her class. The draw of being sexually involved with that boy could not be broken off of her… no matter how much the court… our legal system had tried. She even went to prison… had been publicly humiliated and yet could not stop. But again and again she would be found with that boy. I recall seeing a TV news segment of 1 of her trials, as the woman stood before the court she began pleading for help. She said, ‘I need help.’ That’s when I realize she was helpless in doing what she continued to do with that young boy.
I doubt that the court or anyone in that courtroom really heard her. But I did… it radiated at me. She was doomed and needed to have that curse broken from her. Courts and judges… lawyers and things like that they do not understand anything like that. The operate in the natural. But are some very unnatural forces out there. But those who are those like me who know the Word of the Lord understand the spirits which can come in and attack people. People who like me knew what type of real help that woman was asking for. But she never got it. Some years later she was released from prison and went back at it… her and that boy. Though he was older now… and soon she began birthing children by him. I often think of her at times… knowing that there is no way that either of them are probably happy today.
There are those who are not strong enough … and they have no power through the power or strength… which in these cases none of us have any. Only through God can the demonic spirits be cast out. God alone can turn away the evil thoughts and actions that can creep into their minds and spirit. But they simply do not know Him… the people who do such unspeakable things. They have no relationship with God. It is not through any strength of our own that keeps any of us… or has kept us from carrying out some crazy or insane acts, but through the working of God in our lives.
Because such forces are beyond anything that we can personally fight… or ever hope to truly battle and win on our own. We need God to do it… as we simply do not have the power to do it. It takes that Greater and Higher Power to handle it for us… to act on our behaves… least we fall prey to the evil that lurks in our minds… as that school teacher and countless hundreds of thousands… probably millions of others.
When you read news stories of 13 and 14 year old kids killing 1 of their mother’s and then prepare to eat her liver… you have to realize that we are in the midst of some very dark times. More and more stories of cannibalism are coming into the news lately. There had been a time when such stories were big shockers…stories of people like Jeffery Dahmer. But not today. It appears to me that daily something on cannibalism can be found in the news… and it is very disturbing.
For years we had heard of people who were into things like witchcraft that carried out such acts as the drinking of human blood. Speaking of which when I once worked in the Village, down in New York City… I was ever so surprised when 1 of my co-workers came out with this statement, of wishing he was a vampire. Near the end of life hanging out in New York City, gay clubs and the Gay & Lesbian Center in New York… I had become to be weary with all the dog collars and black leather suits. They were starting to get strongly involved into satanism, I thought. Whips and bondage had started to take a hold upon them… dominatrix… S&M was the new pleasure.
It was not until a very attractive women came to Sala Soul 1 night that I realized just how much this thing was taking a hold of them. The meeting that Thursday night was about S&M… sadomasochism… whippings and bondage for sexual pleasure. I had noticed that she was dressed all in black leather, but I had not made the connection. It was appalling to me… actually down right shocking. I was not prepared for that kind of topic… nor will ever be. But that woman’s world was the world of S&M.
She spoke about this thing that she had fallen into with such excitement and joy… that it was really hard for me to remain in my seat and not hit the door. Whereas everyone else in the room seemed to be taken by this thing that this woman was inviting them to become involved in… I rejected it. It was hard for me to believe that anyone would ever believe that… it was the 1 who was in bondage… the person handcuffed or chained… or otherwise tied up and being whipped… was the person in control.
Come on, now do you really believe that?
If you are handcuffed and have put yourself in mercy of some crazy person with a belt or whip or paddle or some other torturous device… who is standing over you inflicting you with pain… do you believe you have any power to stop that person if they decide… Well, decide to kill you… or continue to whip you though you cry out STOP?
No, you have no power… to stop them. But this woman was saying something else. And if you were sitting on the moon… like many of my Sala Soul Sisters seemed to be that, as they were very engrossed with the topic and the woman. Then maybe you might have bought that… but I did not. And nobody on this planet can tell me anything different.
But this is the mind-set of many people… to begin dipping into the macabre… stepping deeper and deeper into darkness. They begin playing with things and thoughts that take them into deep dark places… where they become lost.
A year or so… or maybe a couple of years later I happened to come across 1 of young women who had been at that Sala Soul meeting on S&M. This woman had asked a lot of questions that night, and she really seemed more than slightly interested in S&M. I guess she truly was. Because when I came across her some time later she was wearing all black leather… the dress code of those in S&M… bondage. I even made a remark about it black leather attire… and saw a look come across her face as if I had found her out. She had emerged herself into that lifestyle… and was now 1 of them… and it is a lifestyle… a sub-culture of which even they have their own flag… a nation unto itself… of highly misguided people. That was the last Sala Soul Sisters meeting I ever went to… and from that point on I began to move further and further out of ‘the Life’… meaning gay life… being a lesbian. I began to realize I had less and less common with them, my fellow Sala Soul Sisters. My thoughts were changing… and at the end I had changed.
I thank God he put something in me that has kept me from totally going crazy… or following every insane whim that came into my mind. I had limits and barriers that I would never cross because of my early child training. Training does show up… and Biblical scripture is true. Train up a child in the way that it should go, and when he is old he will not depart.
Well, so much for that… just thought I would drop in and share a few words. Hope all is well with you… and that you continue to enjoy the rest of this week.
One final note on that man from Boston who was into rapping and eating children. He requested that the state give him life… but his sentence is only for a term of 25 years. I think the Judge should have heard him… and some kind of provision was written that he would never be release back into public life again. The man obviously knows he has no power to resist the deep dark forces that lurk within him.
Well, God bless… and I guess I’ll see ya’ the next time I decide that I have something on my mind. For the record this blog was 1 of hardest to find any YouTube video for… or some pictures I really liked. Most of the stuff was just to gross or nasty for me to want to use it. But then I guess that all really goes with the type of subject matter this blog was about. Not much that any of us really want to see or know about.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment October 1, 2013
At some time I will write something on this.
But angry at the Grammy’s for using Whitney as a means of increasing its viewership. They didn’t do a tribute. They barely mentioned Whitney during the show. I knew the report was going to come out that they had their highest viewership… and it did… based upon everyone sitting around waiting on that Whitney Houston tribute they promised.
If it had been the American Music Awards… or BET Awards they would have definitely done something special, in light of the sad events that unfolded this past weekend in the passing of Whitney Houston… truly an icon.
I really do not believe Whitney would have committed suicide… not with knowing how much it would hurt both her mother and daughter… both with whom she was extremely close.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2012
Add a comment February 14, 2012
Their whole attire is based upon watching people in music videos. That whole thing that they do with fingers…like we used to throw up the peace sign. It’s from watching the guys on the videos. Grinding and grabbing at their stuff…its from…
Well, you get the point.
I have read a couple stories on this romantic little couple…Keyes and her hubby to be.
But how does that happen?
He’s in divorce court…not even un-married yet dropping sperm all over the place while hanging a ring around her neck. Well, I mean on her finger.
Here is a guy where all you have to do is look at his track record and that should give you reason to ease back from him. What kind of man is he that has 2 children with the woman who has him in divorce court, and before settling that matter he impregnates another woman and says-
“Lets get married.”
And I thought I was disappointed in Vivica Fox when she hooked up with 50¢. I thought she was too classy for him…just what I thought about Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown at first. Though I still think that Whitney had more going for her than Bobby Brown, and over a period of time I began to see where neither Whitney or Vivica were quite what I had thought.
Which goes to my point that you should never idolize people who you do not personally know. If you don’t really know them then you do not a true perspective as to who they really are. And that old saying really is quite true-
“All that glitters is not gold.”
Meaning though they may shine…be famous…popular…or whatever but what you see and believe to be good may… Well, it may be something totally different from you think you see. And I am starting to think that about Alicia Keyes.
The guy doesn’t even look like anything to me. But from the articles Alicia is totally smitten by him. And she has to be to want to…or to have allowed herself to fall into the predicament she is in. Pregnant with child by a guy who already has 3 children by 2 different women…and is currently still married.
I hate to say it…but it sounds so ‘ghetto.’ And I say that knowing that many people who live in the ‘ghetto’ do not all act ‘ghetto.’ That is to say that they come out of what is called a ‘ghetto,’ but they do not act or behave in a manner that reflects the negatives of that environment…or the stigma we have come to associate with certain elements within ‘ghettos’ or poorer neighborhoods…such as the character played so realistically by Mo’que in the movie ‘Precious.’
Within ‘the hood’ baby-mama/baby-daddy drama is something well documented…whether you witnessed it on the street or happen to hear someone conversing over a cell phone. You know it when you hear it. It is in the tone of the conversation…the shouting…the emotions…and usually the cussing and swearing.
Amazingly, just like Alicia and this guy, Swizz Beatz. The name alone gives you a clue that there is nothing there. But going back to my initial statement…a few months into a fresh new romance everyone looks as in love as Alicia and this guy in this picture. But then comes the drama.
And I have no doubt that it is going to come…if history has anything to say about it.
The mere fact that he had no respect for Alicia by at least waiting until he finalized his divorce to impregnate her and to set a ring upon her finger…speaks loud and clear. And it ain’t saying ‘love.’
Oh, you may say-
“Oh, he is just trying to do the right thing.”
The right thing?
The right thing was to respect the mother of his 2 children whom he is currently attempting to divorce before dropping a ring on somebody else…and making the other woman pregnant. And Keyes is definitely the other woman in this scenario.
If one went back in time it is possible that the woman who this currently his wife…may have at the time found herself on the other side of the table. And had been the other woman in that scenario between him and the mother of his first child.
It is a know fact that if you meet up with someone this kind of way…where you take them from some else… Well, sooner or later you will find yourself in the same predicament. While the person moves on to the next one.
This guy strikes me as someone who likes to fraternized with women who have made it or are their way to making it. Hint…hint… All gold digger are not female.
The ex-wife to be is a singer too…somebody named Mashonda. Since I do not listen to R&B any more…or rapp…or anything much outside of gospel music…I have never heard of her…or him. But in watching a music video or 2 of his… he definitely has to hook up with someone. Because his talent, if you want to call it that…is not nothing. You might consider him to be another…uhm… Bobby Brown.
So, he was in dire need to go to the next level. And I guess you can say he did just that when he somehow managed to rope Alicia into his web of romance.
At first glance Alicia struck me as clean cut…intelligent…gifted…and a young woman of high standards and morals. But she seems to have believed the hype and sunk into the life of supposed stardom… rapp culture… and whatever else. She seems to have lost some of that style… innocence… and intuitiveness I thought she had.
So, how come she didn’t see this guy coming?
How could she have fallen so deeply under his spell?
Her style changed… her talk changed …she changed. She started showing more…and leaving less to your imagination.
Then I had thought it was going to be Alicia and Common. But Serena Williams tied that up.
But personally she looks smart enough to be a lawyer’s wife… or some doctor’s wife. But somebody with a brain seemed to be what I would have thought Alicia would have wanted. Somebody like a Barack and not a Swizz Beatz.
But maybe like Vivica…Alicia wanted a thug. Just somebody able to throw her down and sex her all night long. But I would have thought that she would’ve wanted far more than that.
Maybe someone she could converse with. Somebody who could do more than flash and throw his hands up in the air… or spin a couple of turntables. Somebody who knew something about responsibility. Somebody who could really love and respect her. Somebody who felt so deeply about her that he would not dare pull her into a mess.
What happened to her common sense?
Why would she want somebody who would pull her down?
Is she oblivious to what has been going on around her concerning messing with married men…and baby-daddies?
Doesn’t she realize that depending upon what state they live in that his children could pull a piece of her earnings too?
Yes, that is right. Once his way of life increases under the influence of Alicia’s money… she could be forced by the court to aid him in supporting his other children due to her income.
I know that it is hard to find men today who do not have any children… but there are some. Some fine decent men waiting on a fine decent woman. Who work and are more than capable of support his queen to be.
I see Alicia carries expensive bags… which cost thousands of dollar, like Chanel, Veneta, Louis Vuitton etc…etc… then why go bottom shelf when it comes to choosing a mate?
And she wouldn’t take a bag that somebody else owned. So, why do that when it comes to a man?
I don’t really know Alicia’s background but I have heard an interview or 2 where she has talked about her schooling and music classes. And it never struck me that she came from the ‘ghetto.’
And let me just state this…that ‘ghetto’ is more a state of mind than being. Because I know people who live in a variety of places including what would be called the ‘ghetto.’ But they do not possess a ‘ghetto’ state of mind.
How do you bring your mistress into Gracie Mansion, the Mayor’s mansion in New York City, where your wife and young son live to do your thing with her?
What kind of woman was she?
I guess Giuliani was just too cheap to get a hotel. But he did not impregnate her… least ways not that we know. And just prior to his attempted run for the White House, he married her.
As to whether they are happy or not… I can’t answer that. But I do not believe any woman can can sleep peacefully at night knowing that have hooked up with someone with a wandering eye. If it wandered 1 time…it can and usually wanders 2 or 3 times. And in Alicia’s case maybe 4… if someone steps up to the plate with more money and appeal.
And he did.
I do not wish Alicia ill… but I just do not see it working out. History always repeats itself, and someone’s nature is their nature. But God…only if God steps in and changes them. And this guy has z history that is speaking loud and very clearly.
But going on to my initial point regarding role models. Like Serena and Venus… I had thought Alicia as a good and decent role model. But this thing about being out-of-wedlock, pregnant and messing with a married man has definitely put a dimmer on that.
The problem is …is that because Alicia is in the public eye she does bear a certain level of responsibility. I have no doubt that she realizes that there are many young girls and young ladies who follow her closely. And for them she sets a kind of standard of excellence and determination.
Her lifestyle and choices like that of many celebrities gets digested, and incorporated into the being of those who follow them. Becoming pregnant by a married man…
Well, it is something most people do not brag about. It shows a level of insecurity… carelessness… and a balant disregard for the other woman on the other side.
This scenario is weighted in history. Its outcomes can be read in newspapers time and time again, due to all kinds of crazy acts of revenge… hatred… threats… kidnappings and murder plots. It is not a pretty situation …and under it no one can truly find happiness.
Because what started wrong in the first place …can’t help but end up wrong too.
Then that is not to say that errors or lapses in judgment can’t happen. But never compound a mistake.
No. She made a mistake. But she does not need to make another mistake… by marrying the wrong person.
Sure she is pregnant with his child. But if he was worth anything that would not be the case.
Clearly, Swizz Beatz lacks certain morals. I know that sounds like a foreign word to some. But morals stand for something. And anyone without them…
Well, would you really want to trust them with your heart?
Apparently, 2 others did. And you can see what was the outcome.
Why should the 3rd…Alicia’s relationship with him be any different?
And don’t say-
“Oh, he might really love her.”
Might is the operative word. He might …and then again he might not. She might just be another trophy to him. Might be just another target for his ego …and something for him to laugh about while chatting with his boys.
As is often in this kind of case… the man walks out on the other woman eventually…leaving her for the next one. It is an endless cycle for those who have no moral consciousness going from 1 woman or young girl to the other.
I pray that women wake up.
Today, we this scenario still plays itself out over and over again. In the story of Leah and Jacob …you can assume that Leah did not love herself very much. The text said that she had a tender eye… whereas Rachel was beautiful. And she could clearly see how much Jacob loved her.
It had to be painful.
Hence, any woman…or girl who loves herself is not going to just allow someone to use them with the hope of winning them over. Or baring a child for them with the hope that this will tie a person to them.
“I don’t know what happened to Marva. She was never ever like that before she met him.”
Before my cousin Marva ‘met him,’ my other cousin shared with me…she was happy and carefree. She loved life… and was always playing practical jokes. But then she ‘met him.’ She loss the essence of who she was.
He did not love her… but he kept stringing her along. Because he knew he had her. She gave him a child… but yet she could not keep him. There were other women in his life …but she refused to let go. Then he married another woman… and my cousin’s life caved in on her.
Suddenly, nothing mattered. Not even her own child. Her thoughts were consumed with him. Her desires were all for him. Then he shun her… cursed her …and stopped seeing her as regular.
And she began attempting suicide.
She succeeded last year when she finally turned a bottle of bleach up to her mouth. This time there was no doctor that could help her.
They could not pump her stomach. It burnt up her insides. And they could do nothing to help her but watch her suffer…for days… my aunt (her mother), her husband (her father) and her other sisters.
But at the funeral they realized that she was now at peace. But what a sad way to go. And what a horrible way of trying to find peace.
What could possess someone to love someone so much…more than than they do themself… or her child… to attempt on several occasions… and then to final succeed in killing themselves?
Could anyone on this planet be worth all that?
His life went on. But her’s ended…and ended horribly.
It had been compounded by 1 error after another.
There are some people not worth being bothered with. And particularly if they can somehow manage to cloud up how you feel about you.
I was once so in love. I do know how it feels.
Everywhere I turned I saw couples. Everywhere I looked I saw people walking hand in hand. Spring was in the air… and so was love. And I had no one…I was alone.
The one I cared for had cast me off. And I was floating …drifting in my mind. Reality was lapsing from me. I saw that which I wish I had. And it was all around me. Happiness …chatter… the glee of being with someone you loved.
But there I was alone.
And yes… it came to me. To kill myself … and to bring it all to an end.
But instead it was overcome by another thought.
I began thinking that maybe ‘the life’ wasn’t for me.
I tried it.
But I didn’t like it.
But I emerged from it pregnant.
I thought of abortion.
So, I just decided to go through with the pregnancy. Truly, that was my thought process. And that is why I now have a son… who I must say is a far better person than his mother.
And my goodness… what would this world be like if my son were not upon it?
I made the right choice. And it is God’s desire that we have freedom of choice… so we can exercise our right to make ‘the right choice.’
And I am glad that I made another choice.
It took me years to get here. But I made the choice to walk in liberty …and to come out of darkness. And I am so happy that I did.
Oh, well… I have got to end now. Because I am really supposed to have watched a movie… and now I’ll be up and working on a legal paper.
So, I really must get moving. Enjoy your day tomorrow.
In closing let me say 1 more thing… Alicia at 29 years of age should be wiser. I say all of this because I have no doubt that a lot people will read this blog. And I would just be wrong if I did not speak truth…with the hope that someone might hear. Or that it might help someone…including Alicia.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
You have got to watch the BELOW video.
1 comment June 1, 2010
I have long held that most of the supposed authorities giving out information on how to treat, displine and handle your children…are really a bunch of people who do not know what they are talking about.
Now, today I happen to come across this article…which…
Well, it proves my point.
The above LINK to the article is written by a mother who states that she is a Professor at some big time university…where she and her husband taught. And I say ‘taught’…because he is now deceased, but she still teaches there…wherever it is.
Probably in New York…or at Yale…or some place. Some place like NYU…or Harvard…M.I.T. Or Georgetown…or Princeton. But I bet you it is somewhere on the East Coast. Somewhere near Greenwich… or out in the Hamptons.
And I tell you why.
In this woman’s article…this Professor… she states that she told her daughter that it was okay for her to drop out of school.
Yes, I did say that. This she plainly states in her article where she says that she told her daughter, who wanted to drop out of high school…that it was okay to do so. In fact in the article the woman states this….”school wasn’t working for her. So, I even encouraged her to drop out.”
Now, do you get my point?
For some years now these so-called ‘parenting experts’ have been telling this country how to care, chastize, woo and cuddle their child. Most of them mind you have never even had a child yet they sit around articulating on various talk shows, radio programs and in new articles how ‘we’…real parents should care for our children, and their discipline.
They are the ones responsible for why laws were written about what types of discipline are and are not allowable or acceptable. Laws which have given way to some of the most unruly children to walk the face of this earth. Many have no matters…and some even lack basic unbringing.
I am not, however, critiquing or criticizing all children or teens…or anyone outside of this mother who happens to claim that she is an expert in this matter. Clearly something is wrong with the picture of ‘child/parent relationships’ today. And this corrupted picture basically has stemmed from a lot of very bad advice from a bunch of people running around who nothing about children. And neither do most of them had any children of their own…or like this woman who wrote the above article…they failed to be able to control their own children.
So, they give in to them…and up on them.
No one. None of them did. Though in past times many children did not have the leisure of pursuing a full education based upon family demands. But these days have changed and so has the criteria to be capable and compedent to be a part of today’s work force. It has grown and gotten much higher. You need more education today…more than ever before. And particularly if you want what is called a good job…and higher pay.
Evidently, this woman is either very rich… or she has heavily insured her daughter and plans for some type of accident. Because either that or she must be planning on taking care of her daughter some how for the rest of her life. Because without a college education…and many times above… her daughter’s life is going to become very hard.
Anyone who does not have an appropriate education today is as good as doomed. There is no about it…or buts about it. Everybody can’t go to Hollywood and become the next $20 million movie star…or make mega making music song deals.
I am sure that that this woman’s daughter is never going to be the next Whitney Houston or Barbara Streisand. Her daughter doesn’t stand a chance unless her mother has some money. It is highly unlikely that this woman’s daughter will succeed at much of anything if her mother’s attitude has always been-
“Oh, well if you can’t do it that’s okay. Just quit.”
What parent tells their child that?
People who want their child or children to succeed in life push them. They push them to get up in morning…to make their beds… to clean their rooms… to brush their teeth… to comb their hair… to take a bath…etc. Parent’s push their children…and after a while the hope is our children will start pushing themselves. They must learn to get up…and make their way in life. They have to learn to clean their rooms on occasions… and how to take a bath and brush their teeth…and comb their hair without anyone having to push them.
And I do not mean by being mean and cruel to your children…or be overbearing in your desires for your children. No, not in that way…where the children come to dispise you because all you care about is that “A” or the winning of the ball game. No, not at all like that. But the kind of pushing that parents must do in order to get their children up and going…and to engage them in life.
It is called ‘growth and development.’
We grow…and develop over time. I am sure that over time even I have grown in the writing of these blogs. My first blogs are nothing like they are now…be it in their overall appearance…content…the amount of time I spend on creating them…and my total effort in doing them. I have grown…and so have they.
But I learned how to grow through my parents pressuring me to always do my best…and to never give up. Needless to say…I didn’t always like it…but it worked. Speaking of which…when my son spent 4 years in 9th grade…
Yes, I did say 4 years in 9th grade. I told him this-
“I don’t care how long it takes you to finish high school. You can sit there until you get old and grey if you want to. But you are going to stay there until you finish or until somebody walks up to you and taps you on the shoulders to tell you to get out. But you are going to stay there until then.”
And I meant every word of it.
It was not that my son was a bad child. But he was a social butterfly. I sat in on many of his classes just to ensure that he was doing his doing what he was suppose to be doing in school. And I often travelled in from New York… getting off the inter-state bus to catch a city bus to the whatever school he was at.
If you want your children to succeed you have got to commit yourself to their success. And you have to do it without surrendering. I never surrendered. Today my son is very successful. He successfully finished high school and then went on from there. Today he makes lots of money doing what he loves. But it did not come with me giving up on him or giving in to him.
It takes education to end up in life doing what you love. Must people work doing what they have to…and oftentimes doing something that hate (and that is many times regardless of their education if they chose to study something just for the money). But those who are educated can pick and choose what it is that they want to do…and at what price. That is the beauty and difference that education can make.
This is not to say, however, that only people with good education succeed. Because there are many examples today and yesterday that prove that point as well. But, however, that road is not an easy one… and it becomes complicated with a lot of ‘no’s’…and plently of road blocks.
During the last year of my son’s 4th year in 9th grade whenever he asked me for anything I would just merely say-
“Four years-9th grade.”
That ended any further discussion about whatever it was that he was asking me for. Oh, how I loved that time…I did not buy one single thing for him that was not a need. He asked me for new pair of $100 sneakers…he asked me for a beeper…he asked me for all kinds of things. But he got none of them… no Christmas gifts…birthday gifts…nothing. Nothing…not that I would have bought him a beeper or spent $100 on a pair of sneakers anyways. But I still remember his face when I would say that to him…4 years-9th grade. But he made it out of 9th grade. And from that point on he began making the honor roll.
It took some time but it got there. It hit home… my saying that to him. It must have given him pause to sit back and think about the time he was wasting. He had thought of school as a fun place not a learning place. It is alright to have fun in school, but not whern it disrupts others…or hinders your learning…or that of those around you. My son did not hinder others…he just was busy not doing his work.
But after that first time of making it onto honor roll there was such a shift in my son’s attitude towards his school work. He started taking pride in himself and his school work. He even began to brag that he was the smartest boy in his class. And from that first moment on the honor roll he just kept on out performing all of them…because it felt better than sitting in school doing nothing…and everybody now looking up to him, and asking him to help them.
At the end of the day no child wants to do anything. I know I didn’t. We would have all rathered to have sat before the TV all day watching cartoons or drawing and coloring on paper…where as today’s kids play all kinds of computer games…game boy and things like that. And if they could they would never set it down… or go to school if their parents let them.
So, enter this woman…who I guess is proud… Well, she states that she is proud. She feels that she has done some great thing by telling to her daughter to quit school. I would beg to differ.
And just like I said when I started this blog. It just goes to prove all along what I have always believed about these so-called ‘child experts.’ They do not have a clue. And nobody should be listening to them.
And before I forget…the reason I said that the woman (the mother) was probably some Professor from NYU or some other North Eastern college, was because her view seemed to be quite East Coast liberal. It was…or is quite liberal, which I think is how a lot of former flower children/hippy…or should I say ex-hippy…or ex-flower children liberal Eastern Professors think. And particularly if they have money…or come from families with money.
If you have money then it really doesn’t matter. You can say something dumb like tell your child to go ahead and just drop out. Because you have the finances to provide and care for that child for the rest of his or her life. And being that this woman has a daughter… Then she can do it right up until the time her daughter gets married.
Well, I was wrong…the woman who wrote the article teaches at some school in California.
But the point that made the whole article ridiculous for me was the fact that the woman…this ‘child/parenting expert’ was proud of herself for telling her daughter she should just drop out of high school. This she told her daughter because her daughter wasn’t doing well, and she didn’t like school.
Boy, if ever parent thought like this woman more than 3/4 of the school population would no longer be attending school.
What child doesn’t think that they hate school?
I didn’t…but that is beside the point. I guess I would be part of 1/4 attending school. But I don’t think I would really count. Because I only liked school because it got me out of the house and away from my sisters and brothers. When you are the oldest of 8 siblings…you fall in love with school real quick.
Now, back to this woman who wrote the article…this supposedly well educated woman…a woman of letters… having a doctorate in her field…which in turn gave way to her the claim to proclaim herself an expert in the first place. And this woman also writes books telling parents what to do concerning their children.
Real parents stand up. You better take those books by these so-called experts and throw them into your incinerator. Because clearly this woman doesn’t know what she is talking about. She doesn’t even have a clue. Her head must be stuck in the ground. And her hand is definitely not on the pulse of what is important in the real world.
And she teaches college students?????
If your child is going to succeed…they will need to be educated. And I hope that whoever your child is…I hope they are not in any of this woman’s classes.
Throughout history the levels of man’s success has always been measured and linked to his hard work and level of education. And education has always set the standard for the classes…separating those who have juxtapose to those who have not.
While listening to Bev Smith last night on her late-night radio talk show over the internet, I heard that Gary had been emitted into the hospital and was in intensive care.
If ever you have considered getting your child involved in the entertainment business Gary Coleman’s life is definitely one which should give you pause and is worthy of another consideration.
If ever there was a group of child stars who did not fare well it was the group of child stars that appeared on the show with Gary Coleman. We all remember “Diff’ rent Strokes.” It ran all the way up until Arnold began to turn old before our very eyes…and therein laid his delima.
Size-wise he never grew much but his feature stopped ceasing to be as cute and lovable…I guess you could say. Which I have no doubt had a lot to do with his medication and kidney problem. But then too there were those storylines. They got to where they were just plain dumb. And so the show over time lost its appeal and audience.
But there was something going on in the background. Drugs came into their midst. Then drinking added to the drugging. But we never could tell…least ways I couldn’t. But it affected the lives of the 2 other child stars on the show…more so than it did Gary.
Todd Bridges who was always good-looking, along with Dana plato all became sister and brothers. Willis…the character that Todd played on the show, was supposedly Arnold’s real brother, who both end up being adopted into the rich Drummon family. Where Dana, Kimberly Drummond on the show, becomes their sister. Todd later reported that he and Dana experimented with drugs together while working on the show.
Dana later becomes pregnant by some boyfriend and got fired from the show. Like Gary Coleman, she too was adopted. And from articles that I have read…the woman who adopted her was hungry for money and really never cared much for the child otherwise.
Dana’s life like Willis’ and Gary’s was sad following the end of their years as stars on Diff’rent Strokes. Down and out Dana moved to Vegas with her baby. She found herself in a beat-up trailer park…and one day steped into a video store to rob it with a gun…got jail time…and she later died of an overdose.
Like Willis, Dana was probably the product of child abuse. She had the typical scars of a sexually abused child. Following her departure from Diff’rent Strokes she posed nude in a layout in Playboy…and later turned to staring in pronography.
Willis’ inner demons began to plague him following a friend of his father taking advantage of him sexually as a very young kid. Years later he found himself suffering from anger management, drinking and problems with drugs…and doing time in jail on weapons charges.
Dana at the age of 14 was already drinking and drugging long before she hit the set of Diff’rent Strokes. It is amazing that watching them you would have never guessed any of the inner turmoils in any of their lives.
No one can ever tell me about the demons which chase children long after the abuse stops. What a different life and end she might have had.
Arnold…or Gary suffered with kidney problems…a problem which attributed to the lack of his growth in stature. And he also became a very angry man as the years went by. Often he was dragged into court stemming from incidents where he hit or punched a fan.
Though he tried at different ventures…everything failed. And for a very brief time he even tried to pursue a college education…but that too failed.
I think the one shinning moment through those years was when he and Willis teamed up on a movie showcasing their lives and the turmoil that followed after Diff’rent Strokes was ended. I have no doubt that that movie will pop up somewhere now that at the age of 42 Gary Coleman is gone.
Willis…or Todd which is his real name… has since gotten his life back on track. And often I have heard him talking about God in his life. I hear that he has a re-occuring role on a soap opera. I certainly wish the continued best for him…along with his continued growth in the Lord.
Yesterday I spent most of my morning resting for my afternoon studio shoot. About 1 o’clock I was up and rushing. But by the end of the night I was tired… but quite satisfied. I had gotten most of what I wanted… and everybody who said that they would… Well, they showed up.
Now, I am on my way with that. And I feel good.
And in case you are wondering why I have not said anything about my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, lately. Well, for one thing I was hoping to be in New York promoting my book at the Book Expo America this week. And since you know I was in the studio shooting footage last night… So, you know that that didn’t happen…no me and New York City this week.
The other thing that happened…and perhaps you have experienced this. My flash drive died. It CRASHED…and I had all most all of website files on it. And I do mean it crashed…and I had failed to back-up those files anywhere else.
So, for the past 2 weeks I have been praying over my flash drive…and continuously sticking into this computer and that computer hoping for just anything to happen. But it has not. So, I have been trying not to think about.
Because like you may have…I have learned this lesson more than once. And yet I continue to do it.
I never save anything on a back-up. And dealing with computers…which are very tempermental…you are taking a large risk if you don’t back-up everything someplace else.
Enjoy your night and have a beautiful day tomorrow…and Monday, Memorial Day. I am going to try and get some sleep now.
Today while waiting on bus. I was joined by some high school seniors in their caps and gowns. And they looked beautiful…and their was an air of excitement and happiness in each of their eyes, as well as, upon their faces.
And I just had to compliment them on their achievements, and tell them how well and beautiful they all looked.
It was beautiful.
The weekend before last we were in Jersey at Drew University cheering for my brother as he walked across the stage accepting his doctorate degree. This past weekend a niece and cousin graduated from college. And this coming coming Wednesday another niece will be graduating from college.
My parent’s children are all growing up…and our family is expanding in many different ways. In our growth and knowledge of the Lord…in our family size…and in our educational knowledge. My partents time and efforts were vested well.
So, it has been busy around here with all the graduations. All of the graduation receptions…and all of the tears of pride and joy…and happiness for them. Hope you have had the opportunity to do the same. And if not this year maybe next. But it does not come with people giving up…or parents telling their children its okay you can just quit and drop out of school.
What a road map for desaster.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
Add a comment May 29, 2010
I have been thinking about Kim Burrell since my son made mention to me about her crossing-over into secular music. From gospel artist to jazz diva…or R&B mama…I don’t know… But I find it hard to wrap my mind around it.
Why would anyone want to give up on the Lord and go search out something else?
To me all I can think is that she sold her soul for a contract and a hope for a few more dollars.
When you sit down…when you think about it…her rep and CD sales were not shabby gospelwise. So, then why the cross-over?
Why did Kim decide that she wanted to forsake gospel music for something more inclined to not be accepted by the gospel community…something like going ‘secular?’
Maybe she feels that if Sam Cooke could do it…and do it… I guess by some reports…that he did so successfully… then maybe she could… or can do it too. But Sam died young. I think he ended up being shot to death.
And that is why I would never turn my back on the Lord. The Bible tells us that it is better to have never known Him…than to turn away from him.
And Whitney does know better. Whitney has always added bits and pieces of gospel to her repertoire. And just the other day…I heard Patti singing a duo with the Queen of Gospel Music… Shirley Caesar…and they really were singing that song. So much so that I had to get up and write down the name of the song so I could look for it and buy it.
Gospel music is definitely where the money is. The only people who are making money in secular music right now and for some time now have been and are rappers. So, then…what does Kim Burrell hope to obtain by crossing-over?
Then the other thing most recently Kim was given a very big promotion in the ranks of the International Church of God in Christ. She became the second in command over the cogic international music department…a dream job that many would literally die for. And here it is…she is going secular?
I know it must mean that she is forsaking this post that had most recently been bestowed upon her. But if this has been on her mind…then why did she take on the job in the first place?
I say for the prestiege that went with it. She had just gotten the position only a few months ago. She had to have been thinking about getting her gastric operation…and sexing herself up…way before that. After all, that operation is not just something you just jump up and decide to do overnight.
She can’t possibly be planning on keeping the post…and be a secular artist…say another Beyonce…too?
Though I do honestly believe that some people get involve with a very large organization…such as the Church of God in Christ…just for the sake of launching their careers. Practically everybody in the music industry… singer-wise and musicans…have at some time been in a choir or played in the church band…and many of them in cogic churches. You often hear them being interviewed on some show talking about their cogic experiences under Dr. Mattie Moss Clark…the Clark Sister’s mother. And many stars, Grammy and Stellar winners have come out of the Church of God in Church…such as… the Clark Sisters just to name one (who since being babies had been involved with the cogic music department). That list also includes the God Father of Gospel Music, the late and very great Rev. Timothy Wright…not to mention Myrna Summers, Rance Allen, Vanessa Bell Armstrong and the list goes on and on…
Though I have to truthfully say I have wondered how Bishop Blake could have replaced more than 400 years of collective experience in the international music department between Iris Stevenson, Bettye Nelson and the Clark Sisters alone not to mention several others in the cogic international music department… with people who had never even worked in that department before…in its highest positions?
I am a believer in that old saying…if it is not broken don’t fix it. Considering how the cogic international choir has lead the way and set the standards that many other choirs and group follow… So, why would have Bishop Blake wanted to mess with that?
It just didn’t make sense. Now, one of people whom he put over that department decides to go secular?
Though I must say that I have never been big on Kim Burrell. For one thing I just do not understand why people taunted her…like she was some big singing phenomenon. Like she was an Aretha Franklin or somebody. And like she had been around for years…I just could not understand it.
Maybe it all has to do with the time that Kim came to our church to perform. It was one of the worst and most un-professional shows or performances I had ever seen any known talent perform. And it cost our church $5,000…with a demand for a limousine and a 5 star hotel to boot.
And that $5,000 cost came with no band…but with Kim shouting during the performance to the audio guy way in the back of the church what tracks to play as she performed one song after another.
Once somebody told me something. They were talking about a young rapper…and she said-
“Where did he come from? It seems to me that he just sprang up on the scene and look at how large he is. I believe he must have sold his soul to the devil.”
I thought that statement was interesting coming from her…because in all the time we had sat together editing video tape footage I would have never have thought she thought about such things. Nor did I believe her to be religious. But it was true…the rapper she was talking about did spring up overnight and did seem to become instantly successful. That rapper which she was talking about was 50¢. And he kept on getting hotter…hotter…and hotter.
I would never want to walk away from following the Lord. I can’t imagine anything that I would rather not do. Besides I am fearful of Him. But even more I love Him. I would love Him to be able to trust me as much as He trusted Job…and feel that I like Job would never let Him down.
No contract…or hope of supposed fame…or riches could make me do what Kim Burrell has decided to do.
And though she said she did the gastric operation for health reasons… Well, anybody could have told her she needed to shed weight. I don’t need anybody to tell me that…much less a doctor. Everytime I look in the mirror…I get the message. And this pass weekend while we were away…the hotel that we stayed in had a mirror on the bathroom door. Well, everytime I sat down on that toilet…I was startled back to reality as I sat looking at myself horrified at what was reflected back.
What a disaster.
I left that hotel vowing to take it off. I mean shed it like crazy. But I am not going lay down on some operating table to do it. No…I am not. I know how to set down the fork…and push away from the table. And that is what I intend to do…and add a little workout to my daily routine.
Baby, it’ll be a brand new me. Eat your heart out Lil’ Kim…I mean Kim Burrell.
UPDATE: Wednesday, Februray 18, 2010
If you took the time to read the enclosed letter up top which was to the body of the Church of God in Christ…though it is interesting that it was not sent out to the church at large via the cogic bulk email launcher to all its membership. However, I just received this it from Judith McAllister concerning Kim Burrell…(just CLICK on the letters to enlarge them). It would seem that many within the church of the Church of God in Christ have some concerns concerning Kim Burrell and her current position as Vice President of the International Music Department of the Church of God in Christ. Of which in the reading of the letter it seems that Kim is not willing to relentish her position in the music department…and that fat pay check… though she is currently seeking a wider career in the music industry. Note I did not say the word ‘secular’…as it seems that Kim Burrell is trying to step away from that term now. But as in Kim’s own words…it is what it is…if you want to sing non-gospel music…then you must be becoming a ‘secular’ artist, Kim. You can’t have it 2 ways…you either are…or aren’t.
Though Kim Burrell claims that this endeavor change in her career is due to a deep desire to reach and preach the gospel to those ‘out there’ who do not come in contact with gospel music…is a lot of baloney. The Bible tells us ‘to be ye separated’…and there is a reason for that. You cannot reach anybody by becoming ‘one of them.’ Try doing that with a drug addict or a prostitute…or anything else… and see how much sharing of God you can do with them then.
The only real reason someone choses to make the choice that Kim Burrell has recently made…even in terms of her dress…and to cross-over from gospel music to ‘secular’…has nothing to do with winning souls…but everything to do with that thing called the ‘all mighty dollar’…or a hope for more of it. And it would seem that both Bishop Blake and the current president of the International Music Department of the Church of God in Christ, Judith McAllister…are willing to let her do it…and keep her post…and pay check too.
And then too…anybody who saw Kim Burrell sing at the last Holy Convocation in Memphis…then you could tell that she really didn’t want to be there. Go back and take a look at the footage…and you will definitely see what I mean.
UPDATE: Monday, May 23, 2011… just thought I would share this with you. It is something that I wrote on my facebook page after watching Kim’s latest video called ’Sweeter.’
Since 1 of my facebook friends happened to mention this video…I just thought that I would take a look. Thought it better not to comment on her post…because I thought she might not like it. This video is a typical example of what happens when you decide to step away from the Lord…and do your own thang. Too much of nothing…and no substance either. Beautiful location…visuals beautiful…but come on, Kim. What is with all the attempts at sex appeal???
It looks like Kim wants to be a sex kitten rather than a singer. And technically… if you spend all that money to go on… location to some isolated island… then don’t go cheap and shoot video… shoot film the next time the end product will look a lot better. And clearly the director knew nothing about correct lighting…because Kim is certainly shot all wrong…and with all the wrong make-up.
I ain’t hatin’ but just sayin’… I would like to see a woman of God be of God in all that she does.
Now, on that note watch the video for yourself and you tell me what you think.
Now, this photo of Bishop Weeks and his new little bride… I do not understand. They are drinking champagne…
She grew up cogic…was pastoring…and we all know that Bishop Weeks had… and probably still does… have issues. But they are toasting one another and drinking champagne.
Maybe they just got tired of pretending to be holy. Since people tend to follow them anyway. Unbelievable.
I’m fighting off a cold. It’s something that happens whenever dust gets into my system. Yes, I have allergies. Most of the time they don’t bother me…but then once in a while a spec of dust is somehow introduced into my system…and the battle begins.
So, since getting from our little trip this weekend…I have had the sniffles. Of course I have started downing the OJ…as in orange juice. And drinking cranberry juice…and taking my iron tablets.
Hope you had a good day. I have begun psych-ing myself up. I have so many things I want to do this year. And it will be exciting.
Lots of editing…and shooting footage…and working on my websites…and launching a couple of access programs…and launching my 2 other business enterprises. I am so excited. Not to mention my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, will definitely soon be out. And when it does…it means I begin to hit the road to sell it.
So, you see…yes I will be very busy as the year continues. I hope this year has lots of good things in store for you too.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
I really love winter…it is so beautiful.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK my book cover for the LINK to purchase my book. Thank you.
13 comments February 5, 2010
Got up very early again this morning…but I was not nearly as productive as I had been on Saturday. In fact, I got up going to the bathroom and then stopped to read a chapter in my Bible…and then returned to bed.
I spent the past couple of nights sweating out my cold…of course, I can certainly see a vast difference. Been drinking plenty of fluids too…and also been making sure I take my iron tablets. Got to thicken up my blood…which is why I am also enjoying my Cream of Wheat. I am working on my 2nd box of it now…and still enjoying every minute of it. And as I do…it makes me think of how my father used to make it for us as children.
Mondays was our father’s day to care for us. As he was a barber…Sundays and Mondays were his 2 days off. I do not know how they worked out their schedules…but my mother and father did have it worked out as we were never left in the care of other people.
Daddy worked days and mommy worked nights. She worked at a state institution as a nurse supervisor…as I had previously stated in another one of my blogs…my mother had been the first black nurse in the little southern town where I was born.
Everything my parents did centered around us…their children. When they bought their first house…it was less than a block away from the little grade school that most of us went to…there was a bakery at the corner…a drug store…a small corner grocery store and deli…a bus stop…and we were only three houses in from the corner of a main roadway. Not to mention as I see by the city records today…they had bought the largest parcel of land of any 2 family house within our block. They were wise. And on top of all of that…there is a college right across the street.
So, when I eat Cream of Wheat it takes me back to those days…when daddy used to make it for us on cold mornings just as were going off to school. Some mornings he would fry us this thing called festival by some Jamaicans…or fried dumplings. He could really make those things…no matter what you call them. And we loved them…we filled them up hot out of the pan with plenty of butter and jelly…or some times with lots of syrup and butter…but they were good…always. But daddy was a great cook…and for that matter…so was our mother.
I am watching the snow fall down…and it is steady. It had been rain. It had rained straight through the night…and hard. Had all that rain been snow we would have been buried up under it right now. And that rain had been steady right up to the time it just turned to snow not so long ago. Now it is just a steady flow of un-yielding snow. I will soon have to go out and start shoveling…cold or no cold. But I am not going to complain…it is still beautiful.
I remember my friend in New York…the elderly woman, the church mother, who used to go to our church who passed this past August. You know I had never realized until some time later that she had passed on my mother’s birth date. And last night as I was thinking of her…my friend…it also dawned on me that when I had gone to the hospital to visit her…that the floor I had to switch from elevator to elevator on…had the same name as our street…the street that my parent’s house in on.
It is not a common name…and you do not see it everywhere. I thought that to be divine providence…you know…God’s working in the matter. I was very blessed to have had her…to have met her…and that she counted me as a friend. Her guidance to me shall forever be treasured.
In reading the article on religion…it is odd to me that a country founded on the freedom to practice religious beliefs would today be shifting away from having religion at all. But these days were bound to come.
When you reflect back on the years following 1962 when the push began to remove prayer from public schools…then anything bearing the word “God”…the challenge to remove the 10 Commandments from court houses and so forth…then this really should be of no surprise.
I don’t know…perhaps it is just me. But where were all those anti-gay marriage people…and anti-abortion people when all of this was going on?
Droves of anti-gay marriage people come out picketing and marching…and demonstrating…against something which does not affect them…and will never affect them. But when something like taking prayer out the public school system…removal of the 10 Commandments from the court houses and other federal buildings…removing the words “In God we trust” off of our U.S. currency…comes up…where are these people?
Prayer was taken out of our school and replaced by sex education…and condoms. The kids today in school learn less about their A-B-C’s, Math, Sciences etc…than they are about condoms and the ‘birds and the bees.’
Kids do not need to learn anything about sex. Nature through all her infinite wisdom and years of expertise in that department has not needed any help…from the day that Adam and Eve ate that fruit from that tree. There does not seem to be one time in history that men and women did not know how to get together to procreate. And now it seems…little kids too. And I won’t blame it all on sex-education…because that would be foolish and quite absurb of me. But I do not see where educating kids about sex…does one thing to prepare them for their future in life.
But if they wanted to really to teach them something in regard to youth parenting…then maybe like those ‘Scared Straight’ programs they used to have years ago…perhaps they should take them to a welfare office where they get to meet and talk to some teenage mothers and see for themselves the pitfalls of pregnancy at young ages. There is nothing like a little one-on-one in reality in order to get the whole picture.
Or maybe…have them go do work study hours in places like a welfare office or WIC office aiding in in-take service…and they would truly learn a lot that just might give them a reason to pause and to think twice about the consequences of childhood pregnancy.
As I sit here watching the snow…I have been thinking about this guy…this man. I had met him at an event that I gave a few years ago. So, whenever he sees me…he likes to greet me.
Which is fine…I have no problem with that. It is something I became accustom to through my years in radio. Everybody wants to grab you…hug you…kiss you on the cheek. Okay…so, allow it. It is part of the territory…it goes with the turf when you become popular.
But this guy one day while I was in the library computer lab at school saw me…and he came greeting me…kissing me on the top of my head. Okay…fine. I did not say anything about it…but it was on my mind.
But the other day while I was waiting in a bank line…he happened to be passing by and saw me. My back was to the bank door…and he came up behind me. He said something to me grinning…and then kissed me to the back of my neck. I thought nothing of it at first…but later as I got into my son’s truck…in which sat a friend of his whom I was giving a ride to…that is when it hit me.
That guy had kissed me to the back of my neck.
I am very picky. Peculiar…you might even say. I really do not like people getting too familiar with me…and particularly people who I do not really know. And besides…he was not even good-looking. And even if he was…he still out of order…and I am still picky.
After all, this guy started out by sort of hugging me. Then he moved on to greeting me with a light kiss to a cheek…then to the top of my head. And I really should have stopped him then. So, I put it in my mind that the next time I saw that guy I would have to tell him that he could not touch me again.
That time came shortly…while I was once again in the library computer lab. As he approached me…he bent with his arms open ready to embrace me…and I guess kiss me again. But I happened to catch him…right on time…and drew away from him.
I stopped him saying-
“Listen, shake my hand if you want to greet me. But do not kiss me.”
He looked at me oddly.
So, I began to remind him about that day in the bank when he had come in and kissed me on my neck. I told him that anyone seeing that would have thought that we had a relationship and were involved with each other. Then I asked him what he would have thought if he had been standing off somewhere in the distance and happened to see a man kiss me on my neck.
And you know what he said?
“I would have thought that you were involved with each other too.”
“Look, I am a woman of God. I cannot just have people walking up to me and kissing me all over the place like that. Plus that is disrespectful of me for you to do that. You should have more respect of me to even do anything like that.”
Wow, I have truly grown. I am a woman.
Gone are the days when I was a child…and people could do anything to me…or with me.
I have control over me.
And I am not having it.
You will respect me.
Wow… I am woman.
That guy apologized to me…and thanked me for correcting him. I appreciated him accepting my correction. Yet…I felt within myself that it should not have been warranted that I should have had to do such a thing. But men have a way…of taking things for granted…and particularly women.
I felt that many times while working in radio. I hated when my bosses called me ‘sweetheart,’ and ‘dear.’ It was very demeaning to me…while they never greeted each other in such a way…or spoke to each other in such familiar terms. Consciously , sub-consciously or unconsciously…such things historically have been designed to keep women in their place.
When I was a child…I was powerless. When I worked in radio…I had limited power. Today I am my own boss…I wheel power as I may…but yet…I measure it. As I know I can be highly intimidating to some.
But this may come as a surprise to some of you. But I have never been kissed. Not by the male species.
I know I have a son…but that does not mean that I allowed that man to kiss me. And I know that I said in my other blog…that Willis Kattrell…well, he kissed me. And he did. But I think my head was in motion when he did it…so he only caught a portion of my lips. To the side really…of my mouth.
So, I have never been kissed. Not really…though yes many women have kissed me…and I them. But the male species…no.
I never had a boyfriend…and have never dated men.
I am different… Not like most people. And my experiences have been different.
Yet, I am a mother. And I have a fantastically wonderful son. I treasure and love him very much. He too is…different.
This is how I know of generational curses. It was in my mother’s family. And I do realize…that generational curses can be broken. I bear witness to it.
I love the change in my life and look forward to my tomorrow. Perhaps…my husband. I now wish I had had other children. My son often had spoken of it…and still does.
There is this funny thing about me. After having been sexually abused at a very early age…perhaps before or by the age of 10…only twice and by 2 different men…but sometime thereafter, I decided that I wanted to save myself for my husband. I thought I wanted to live in a big house with a white picket fence…with a 2 car gargage…and have all the children that I could have. So, that is what I did…I decided to save myself…and that is what I did.
From the point of whatever age it was…10 maybe less…the last time someone had taken sexual advantage of me…I never became engaged again sexually until some time when I was 25 years of age. At this point…I was only interested in woman. And not just any woman. Gay women…women like me. Women who were upper-wardly mobile and doing something with their lives…professional women mostly in media…though some were doctors, accountants etc…but talented…beautiful…well educated women…who looked and acted womanly.
Not all women who are gay…look it. In fact…many do not. The same is true of men…though the reverse thinking about gays is the myth.
I have no idea as to why I have begun to disclose so much to you…about myself. I shall have to pounder it.
Ahhh…yes… The point.
So, I decided to save myself. Well, at that point I could no longer save certain things as they had been stripped from me. My innocence had been stolen from me. But somehow throughout all the years one thing has remained…my kisses. So, since I have never kissed the male species…or allowed anyone of that species to kiss me directly on the lips…I decided to save it.
I am saving it for my husband…it is the least that I can give him. Unpolluted…un-tampered with…safe within my power…to give…or not to give. So, I am saving it for him. So, no I am not going to let somebody just walk up to me…or sneak up from behind me…and think that he can just come and steal it away from me…not that too. Except for…of course…er, uhm…if his name is Willis Kattrell. (you have just got to read that blog)
And let me just say…that I am still scrubbing my neck today…everytime I step into the shower…I am trying to remove the memory of that man’s lips to the back of my neck.
Well, the snow is slowing up now. And the kids are on their way home from school. I better get out and start shoveling. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Didn’t like the VOGUE cover of Michelle Obama at all…just goes to prove that nobody can do us better than us. Thank God for Essence, Ebony, Jet, VIB, Right-On, Black Enterprise…and everything
else we have today.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on “ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment March 9, 2009
Heard her talk about being on a diet…and when she showed up at Barack Obama’s inaugural in her grey suit with her Sunday morning go to church hat…she looked fabulous.
She was most recently spotted here on her way from the White House…pushing a shopping cart in Walmart. Signed autographs and took pictures…and people crowded around. I said I wanted to see the pictures…but my son saw them. And he said-
“Ma, it was her.”
I thought it interesting when I saw that Obama’s oldest daughter made sure she got a shot of Aretha with her camera during the inaugural ceremony. Those Obama’s are teaching their children well. She knew Aretha and who it was she was looking at…and she wasn’t going to let Aretha get pass her without grabbing a picture. Smart girl.
I didn’t know that Aretha had signed up with Jenny Craig back in 2007. She might have lost some pounds…but evidently had like most…put them back on and then some. But at the inaugural she really looked great. And I was happy to see that she had shed lots of that extra added bagage…those dirty little pounds.
Her plan was this…
I heard her comment on some show that…she eats what she’s suppose to for 4 or 3 days…then on 3 days eats whatever she wants. I think that is a great plan…because it seems to be working for Lady Re.’
Now, I have just found out what it really is. She has a new somebody in her life. It will make you want to do something… and real quick. Get somebody…and see if you don’t want to make sure he only has eyes for you. Oh, yeah…you’ll start losing real quick.
And don’t have him look good. Because if he looks good…you will want to look good with him. No self-respecting woman would think any differently. And Aretha is the real r-e-s-p-e-c-t woman…didn’t you know?
I just hope that this one is the one she has always been hoping for. After 3 or 4 prior marriages…a bout with the bottle (many many years ago)…one of her mansions burning down…and some local legal worries. I think it is about time…for plenty of happiness in her life.
And I certainly wish you well, Lady Re.’
One thing about Aretha Franklin…no matter what…you can always say that she has been a class act. I remember when I had considered her for a concert gig…the price tag, however, was a bit too much for this little ol’ country girl…$65,000.00 with a quarter of it up front…and I think maybe a precentage. Now, that is business.
But that whole diet thing is mind over matter. If your mind is not there…then save yourself from the bother. It won’t work.
But if you can get your mind there…you have won before you start.
I know some people who did the gastric bypass and a few other things. Though I must say…my friend who did the lap band raved about. And she truly did look good. But she told me that before she did it she went to meetings and read lots of information on it first. And she said she spoke in great detail with the doctor who was going to handle her surgery…and she too told me she was on her way to the altar once again.
I must admit to admiring women…and men who don’t want to just lay around with everybody. And then find out that have nothing.
Marriage is good…and if you are going to be with somebody then let them marry you.
But that gastric bypass…I have a sister who did it. She can’t eat anything without getting sick to her stomach. And the worst part is…though…yes, she lost lots of weight and even though she can’t keep much down…she is still over weight. And it is all due to not having gotten her mind to where it needed to be. Sick or not she eats and then throws up some of everything she eats. I would hate to live like that.
If you really want to lose weight…learn how to put the fork down first. And believe me…you won’t need anything else.
It’s Black History Month…so enjoy…
Wow…the kids do not have anything compared to this.
Enjoy your day…and this weekend. It’s freezing cold outside…but the funny part is that the house doesn’t seem quite so cold to me any more. Guess I must be getting used to it. My father would smile. All of my life I have been cold…because I am extremely anemic. I, in fact, am suppose to be taking iron tablets everyday…and I do when I can remember. But I have to really work on that.
Since, so many people have so much more to take by way of medication…and if I desire not to join them… Well, you know… I better take what I have to right now. Because based upon what they say having a low number of red blood cells can be very unhealthy. And I do not want anything to sneak up on me.
Between yesterday and today…it has looked like snow. In fact, there were flurries this morning. Might be too cold…it can’t snow when the weather is too cold. But I guess even in that we are doing okay…because Vee, my friend’s daughter in Chicago…had told me that Chi-town was definitely freezing.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card. Thank you.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
11 comments February 21, 2009
“Who really listens or watches that stuff…called ‘The Wendy Willams Experience’?”
“Do you not have anything going on in your life that you would take your valuable time to give someone like Wendy Williams one second of it?”
She is a ship wreck…just look at her.
When you sell yourself for what you consider ‘fame’…then you are on a fast track to one big ship wreck. There is little wonder that H0t 98 in New York showed her the door, and then Philly decided to slam it in her face when they too had had enough, and gave her the boot. Now, back in New York she is still trying to create high arbitron ratings by stirring up controversy.
Wendy is a sinking ship. Better yet…a ship wreck.
You can only go but so long…trying to cause havoc in the lives of others as a means of your talent. Beyond a point people will begin to look for more. And more…is something which Wendy Williams does not have. That is why she can only do what she does…..try to create a living while living off others.
It is sad when someone so visabily sells their soul to the devil and grins at you as though they are happy. And you can look into their eyes and see that they are not.
You cannot be happy living the kind of life and lie that Wendy Williams lives. First of all she has no real talent. What she has is just a trick of the enemy…created to deceive.
How dare she be sitting on the radio calling herself giving advice to people…when she needs to be sitting on a psychiatrist couch herself. Better yet…calling upon the name of the Lord for some help.
I will never forget once while driving through the streets of Manhattan and somehow the radio happened to be on WBLS and the Wendy Williams Experience…and now that I think about it. I was in the car with one of my nieces…when she turned the radio to the Wendy Williams Experience.
That day was a day that Doctor Wendy was on duty. A woman called in, and I don’t know if it was real or something Wendy and crew had invented. But now that I think of it, it was a fax supposedly faxed into the radio station telling Wendy that she was married to someone she was considering leaving. The person to whom the woman was married to was supposedly suffering from cancer and was very sick…near dying. And she was asking Wendy for help to decide what to do because she wanted to leave him.
Now, that show has stayed with me for a very long time…because Wendy very uncaringly trying to create humor out the situation gave some of the most bogus advice I had ever heard. She asked of herself in the reading of this fax…well, how long have you been together? Was he ill when you married him or did he just become sick? WHAT?
Wendy told the woman that as long as she continued to received some kind of benefit from being with the man then she should stay. But if there wasn’t a benefit to staying then the woman should get out of the marriage. And Wendy said this as if she were an ’all knowing’ and ‘learned pyschologist’…or some kind of prophet.
Yes, I have a problem with people trying to pass themselves as something which they are not…and with people who think that everything is funny when it is not.
I have had a problem with ‘The Wendy Williams Experience’ for a long time.
When you sit in a position where you can ‘speak life or death into a situation’ and chose to speak death…then you are wrong.
The Bible says that the power of ‘life and death is in the tongue.’
When you have millions of people hanging onto your every word you have to temper your tongue…and seek not to give bad sinful council.
There may not be profit from speaking truth…but there is peace. Which of…Wendy Williams has none. Practically ever rapper, dancer, singer and everybody else is out to get her.
How can you live like that?
Then to mess up your body and life so much. Come on, Wendy.
That breast job…really. Come on…a grown woman trying to play and look like one of the kids. It looks ridiculous. Grow up…grow up. And get saved.
The time for foolishness is offer.
And poor little Robin Givens.
Getting happy because Wendy has a list of every white male she ever went to bed with.
And we wonder why the kids are in the state that they are in?
Look what they are listening and watching. These are the role models they fashion themselves after.
TURN THAT MESS OFF!
And shut it down.
No wonder Whitney Houston threaten to pay Wendy Williams a visit one day. I wish I had a recording of that…when Whitney told Wendy that she was from Newark. Whitney didn’t even say that she was from Jersey. No, she made a point of saying that she was from ‘Newark.’ And that does mean something. To those people who know…it spoke volumes…believe me. And Wendy understood it…loud and clear. Because she started stuttering and lost her train of thought.
And Whitney was not joking. I still laugh when I think of that day.
I love you, Whitney. One of the few people who has ever put Wendy Williams in her place.
Whitney, I pray that you come victoriously out of that wilderness that you are in. Be mindful…that God is able. And let not deceivers deceive you. You already have the victory.
How dare Wendy try to reap rewards off the suffering of others.
God bless…Happy New Year!
Praise ye the Lord…he is mighty in all things. For He is just and merciful. And I am sure He has so much more for you…in 2009.
Well, God bless again…and thanks for reading this blog…and please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2008
“Happy New Years! And may God bless you all.”
Add a comment December 27, 2008
She was gracious and poised…didn’t come out wearing a $10,000 something by such and such…or burden down with fancy jewelry. She was simple and that spoke volumes about the family that will be replacing the Bush’s in the White House.
She didn’t get bogged down in political rhetoric. No, this was from the heart and she spoke it like someone having a conversation with a friend. Her sincerity was written upon her face. There was no showboating or trying to be cool…or even trying to look super elite…or ‘I have arrived.’ She was just a woman who loved a man, had bared him children and was trying to shed some light on who they and he were.
From the moment Michelle Obama hit the stage she was a winner…she grew up being a winner…had winning parents…and later married a man who is also a winner and knows the work and effort it takes to win.
The 2 of them had learned from their parents…how to work for what they wanted…that life wasn’t easy…and that in it you have joy and pain…but by applying yourself you could increase your odds against having much pain…and greater than necessary struggles…and, also, how to abide in the light of hope. And to always…always keep an eye out in order to help others.
They learned that life was bigger than just themselves…and that its greatest assets were those around them whom they could shed a little sunlight into their lives…or give them reason to hope for a better tomorrow.
Michelle gave a champion of a speech…and she delivered it better than most of us could because she told it from her heart. It was her story…an American story of how people all around this country triumph over the odds. How maybe they shouldn’t have but they did. How they pursued when others would have turned back and said-
“We don’t have the money.”
“I can’t do it.”
Naw…true champions overcome the odds…no matter what they are.
Michelle Obama may well become the Princess Di’ of the United States.
And Obama’s sister was equally as beautiful and intelligent. What a great family…on both sides.
Senator Ted Kennedy…
In my opinion he has always been under-rated. Perhaps the single most Liberal Democratic (and never been afraid to be called one) in the US Senate. He has always fought for the ‘less than’…those in most in ‘need of’. And of course, I will always remember how he slashed out at those nastier than usual Republicans at their unmerciful and shameful threatment of Anita Hill when she was forced to Capitol Hill to testify against Clarence Thomas.
Last night he was like a little boy in a candy store. Happy to be there…and they welcomed him with loving arms. And he chuckled and grinned most of the way through it. What a great moment in history.
Hope you are registered. November promises to be a great time and historical.
I caught the convention on CNN.com LIVE and I must say that I am so happy that they were streaming it…as well, as the Primaries. Without them I would be lost…it is great to have these news sources working diligently trying to insure that people around the world have access to viewing these events.
Well, hope you have a beautiful day. I am gearing up for a long hard weekend…got lots to do. God bless… and ‘pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2008
Add a comment August 26, 2008
It’s 4:00 and I’m just getting up. Didn’t go to sleep until after I mopped the kitchen and bathroom early this morning and scrubbed down the tub. Sometimes you just can’t sleep until you have done some things…and that was after 5 AM this morning.
I guess I should have turned on the television yesterday so I could have seen Cullen Jones shatter the World Record at the Olympics in China. He is classified as the fastest swimmer in the world…#1, baby. Ching-ching…I hear the cash registers now.
And they said we couldn’t swim.
Born in the Bronx…as in New York City…all the more reason why he should not be a swimmer…but maybe a ball handler.
So much for stereotyping.
New York is known as the concrete jungle…simply because there isn’t much green. Few trees, grass, parks etc. But plenty of playgrounds and basketball courts. It is a wonder that more champion basketball players don’t come from it…which by the way is the home of LaBron James…Brooklyn in the house.
Raised in New Jersey…Irvington…which at one point was rated as the having the higest rate of auto thief in the U.S. It’s part of the Newark, East Orange part of Jersey…and it can be very rough.
It is very rough.
In fact it is so rough…that Whitney Houston made a point of reminding Wendy Williams that she was from Newark.
When I heard Whitney say that…I had to laugh…because I knew what it meant. It meant that Whitney was not afraid of storming up into that radio station and taking care of Wendy on-air or off of it. That is how those folk in Newark think…those Jersey people. They are rough.
I never really listened to this Wendy and Whitney interview (all the way through) until after I posted this blog…and though I am not a cursing woman…and hate to hear such language…I can only say that one day Whitney will look back (as many of us have) and wished she could remove all of these things which are in the public domain…because she will regret them. Maybe the not telling off of Wendy part…but she will regret the state that she was in at the time.
I know a changed Whitney Houston is going to emerge one day…one who will proclaim that this was who she was…’but today I am a new creature through my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.’ And she shall walk in the steps that God has ordered for her.
Once I started looking up in youtube for the Whitney stuff and Wendy…I could not resist these other videos.
Let me take the time to say that I am praying for Whitney Houston who after a concert at Radio City (some years ago) where I had an opportunity to be at the after party…and everybody who is anybody was there…LaToya Jackson, Cicely Tyson…I can’t even think of half of the people who were there…just everybody…Stevie…every artists and New York City media person and politician etc. All of them clamoring for a piece of Whitney. She was the diva of the hour. In demand at every turn. My how they seemed to love her then.
I think back on that night and Whitney’s fall…and all the jokes that have come upon her since having fallen…and I think about how people truly are. Everyone loves you when you’re up…but don’t fall. They’ll make jokes about you and call you outside of your name. There is something about kicking people when they are down…that so many seem to love to do. I suspect it all stems from some level of envy of the person while they were up…and of course, there is money in being mean…just ask Wendy.
It is sad…I pray that Whitney’s life will turn drastically around and that she will become a true witness and testimony about the goodness of God…because He is capable of doing all things. I can say this because I know what He did for me.
How could I have been so deep into lesbianism…and yet He pulled me out…and turned me around?
I was far from seeking a change in my life…but God wasn’t.
I see it in her…Whitney…particularly in that youtube clip where she talks about her daughter…of one day sitting back and seeing her daughter as a woman of God. That speaks volumes…for Whitney and the training that her mother instilled in her.
***She is on her way back!!!
Praise the Lord.
I serve a God who can do all things…but fail. I am happy to see that Whitney is getting her life back on track. And hopefully at some point that she will begin to walk in the steps that God has ordered for her life.
Though you can see the scars from the years of the drug abuse…but she looks great… and more and more like her aunt…Dionne.
The prayers of the righteous availeth much.
Now back to Cullen…that other person from New Jersey…the Jersey boy…or should I say young man who will be coming home an Olympic Champion…and had left for China as already being one.
I used to work at a radion station in Jersey, WNJR…and had to go through those mean streets many a days to get to and from work. Newark…Irvington…Union and the Oranges are no joke…New York was a lot milder.
Ranked #1 in the world the 50 meters freestyle, Cullen already has a 7 year deal with Nike which is reportedly worth more than $2 million. Not bad for a bright young man with some really fast swimming skills.
At 24 years of age…Cullen having broken 3 world records can look forward to many more endorsements…which will surely be for quite a lot more money since he will be returning home all wrapped in gold after last night’s race through that beautiful water of that Olympic pool in China…and the team gold he also managed to acquire.
An English Major with a Minor in Psychology from North Carolina State he is said to be very humble. And he is a champion who wants to give back to his community and that is oh so…so important.
Cullen is to be saluted…for his valour, his devotion, his God given skills, humility and generosity of spirit…a real champion. His mother and father taught him well.
Serena and Venus have won 3. On Tuesday they won in their singles matches and in their doubles game. CLICK below to read more.
Shame on China for deciding that one little girl was not good looking enough…but that she had a great voice. So, they elected to allow a more visually attractive little girl to lip-sync while the other little girl, 7 years old, with her crooked teeth and lack of stage presence was hid away from the public eye…as she sung their Olympic song.
What a sad story that is. And that 7 year old will probably grow up to be such a beauty…and still have a fantastic voice…probably even better. And she’ll have the last laugh then.
What a disgrace for China.
I guess I will have to turn on the television…I do not want to miss a minute of the convention. This is as much history in the making as when the founding fathers decided how this country was going to be run…and formed the policies for its operation…called the Constitution of the United States.
Xia xia…that’s is Chinese for thanks or thank you…for reading. And pass it on… www.bsmith101.wordpress.com to all your friends, family and foe. Enjoy the rest of your day…and God bless… ©2008
Add a comment August 12, 2008