Posts filed under: ‘same-sex marriages‘
Now, all of this from an ex-lesbian myself… and a person who has a friend who is FOREVER telling me how I think everybody is gay. Well, this story proves that to be wrong. Because I just cannot believe that Raven Symone is actually gay.
Maybe she is just going through a phase. All kids go through them… even me. And perhaps even you did too.
“A phase’… a time in our life when we tried different things then moved on.
Raven might well argue this point. But time will tell.
Supposedly involved in love relationship… or sexual relationship… Raven is said to be entangled with this woman… some ‘the next top model’ woman.
Now 27 Raven clearly at this point is supposed to be a grown woman. Least ways that is the supposed experts say. But I ask you-
At 27 were you really all that grown?
I wasn’t. And that is for sure.
It was not until I was 25 that I actually branched out and started to become sexually involved. I know… I know. I was late. But up until that point I was pretty much in Church with my parents. Well… not quite. I had stopped going to church though… but had to move out first before I could. But I had not yet hit the clubs or anything like it until a few months after I turned 25… a couple of years out of college.
This is when I started frequenting clubs… if you care to call it that. Because I really didn’t frequent clubs… and I was never a bar person because I simply did not drink… and wasn’t going to try. And I totally hated bars… and the kind of people who sat in them drinking most of their nights away.
In fact, when I did start going out it was to disco clubs… and yes they were gay… in New York… and Manhattan to be exact. And I only liked clubs with all women… primarily black women. So, that limited the places where I went. These were places like ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’… ‘Shahara,’ which was kind of mixed but up-scale… etc. I liked up-scale… but mostly went to ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’ because they had more black women. In fact, they were all mostly black… mostly Afro-centric.
But as I have stated in my previous blog,s in which I have wrote on this subject on being gay… or lesbian… and/or lesbianism. Since I was in media… a professional radio announcer… I was undercover, as most people were in my time. And during my time… when I was young being ‘out’ really wasn’t the ‘in-thing’ to do.
To tell you the truth ‘outing’ yourself… or coming out of the closet… really is a evolving thing. Though many people are now coming ‘out’ the masses, I would say have not. There are many who feel it would hurt their image… their businesses… their law practices… their family relationships… etc…etc..
So, as they call it today… I had to be on the down-low. Which I guess Raven is claiming to have been.. until now. Since she recently twitted that she is gay and can now get married… though she says she has not immediate plans to do so.
I never really hung out in town… rarely, and never became involved with anyone in my hometown. Which really was not by plan or design… it just ended up being that way. Because when I could not get to New York… I partied in a nearby town that had tons of black women who were very attractive… upwardly mobile and were ‘in the life.’ I did that until something happened with the Warehouse… it closed down. And then I discovered the wonders of New York City… and I do wonders.
I was 25 and the world was my playground. At those early ages of your young adulthood… you really are just trying to find yourself.
But going back to Raven. Having been removed from that life by some years now… and with no desire or intentions to ever go back into it… I always become sadden when I hear … read or see young girls who have gravitated towards a gay lifestyle. You see them everywhere today… and it is not hard to tell them either. And some of them appear to be quite young.
I know many who will not agree with me on this… and some will even get mad. But that is okay… get mad. And I really do not care who does or does not agree with me.
You cannot expect to be happy when you are living outside of the will of God.
There were, of course, numerous times I felt that I was quite happy while I was doing my thing ‘in the life’… that is what we called it then… besides saying ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I’m a lesbian.’ You would just say ‘I’m in the life.’
But way down deep I was not happy. I do realize that now… but didn’t then. And I am not saying that people cannot or are not lonely… unhappy… or do not shed tears in heterosexual life, or any other lifestyle. But therein lies the problem.
When you live in a world that you define yourself by your sexual preference… then this means you are living to satisfy your sexual being. In Church they call it being ‘carnal.’
I can clearly say that while I was in that life… sex had a hold of me. And when I was loosed from the bondage of being gay… a lesbian… and released from desiring sex during great periods of my waking time… I cannot tell you how happy I have come to be free of it all.
I now know real happiness… and have a freedom that I just cannot explain. When I didn’t have a lover while I was in that life… man… It was all I craved. That is because I was caught up in the sex. Sex had a hold of me. It controlled me. Not in the way that I just did anything… or went to bed with just anybody.
Today, I do not live defining myself sexually. There is no need.
Why would I want to?
My life is not defined sexually. I am greater than being just a sexual being. Sex no longer has its control over me. I am free. And I walk in liberty.
A very beautiful young lady, Raven is very much grown up… and definitely seems to have her head on in the right place, and clearly very much unlike most Hollywood types. It is my hope that if Raven Symone really is gay… and I say ‘if’ because a lot of women… and young girls try it. For some it is nu-vogue… the thing to do. To walk around telling people that they have a ‘girl-friend.’ It is kind of a hip thing for them.
But if Raven is… I hope that it is merely just a stage in her life. A stage that she will soon get over… and move on from it without too much pain. And that she is fortunate enough to be discovered by a wonderful man… who will love her… become her husband, and the father to her children.
Well, I have said it. Now, I guess I am going to hear from a lot of people who may disagree. But that is okay… I love hearing from you all… whether we are in agreeance of not.
Well, God bless… I’m waiting on my son now who is suppose to be coming to pick me up. So, let me just say quickly… I hope you have a beautiful rest of the week.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment August 7, 2013
It is baffling to me the times we now live in… and just how we happened to get here????
They are… the times we are now living in… they are strange and seem so foreign to me. The sickness of the crimes… the extreme insanity… and cruelity that seems to be abounding in these times.
Who ever before ever heard of women ripping unborn babies out the bellies of pregnant women for the purpose of stealing their children?
To read story… after story… Well, to find headline after headline of such is frightening to me. Not frightening in that I am afraid it will happen to me… because I am not pregnant. And doubt that I will be ever again.
But frightening in that such things are happening to anyone.
But how insane can you get to prepetrate such a cruel act upon another woman?
Or any acts of crime and/or crimes upon anyone?
I have not particularly cared for a lot of people. Well, not so many as that. It is really not my nature to distain people. And certainly if for some reason I should… to let it mount up in me turning into some kind of twisted wackco thang. No. I think not. I have neither the time or energy… to linger there in those kinds of deep and dark places in my mind. I am much too busy.
But for those where perhaps I might have found some kind of fault in… I have never thought about taking out or enacting any type of criminal act against them. Though I must admit to picking up a baseball bat or 2… Okay, maybe 3 or 4… Oh, alright… maybe 5 or 6 times… just to get my thought through …or to go after somebody. But that was all before I became saved. And never without due cause.
But I have never looked upon any woman… pregnant or otherwise …and wished that I was her… or that I had her baby. And then came up with a plan to replace her… or to steal her unborn… or born child. But people have. Some people have.
They truly and really have.
People try to pretend to be other people… and all kinds of craziness.
There was this guy in New York City who killed an elderly man, so that he could take his apartment and live in it. He also was living off the man’s social socurity… until they caught up with him.
But it goes beyond being sick… or insane… or being just plain crazy.
While these predators go around for the most part pretending to have given birth to the infant… if it survives… that they had illegally taken…while committing murder in order to obtain it.
Who would do this kind of thing???????
Who thinks up this kind of stuff????
Though clearly they all look like fruit cakes… and perhaps I should not slander fruit cakes in such a way. Because I used to kind of like them.
But who does this??????
And they are women of all colors, types, body sizes, come from different states, countries etc… etc… etc… And now they vary in ages as well. A 14 and 13 years did the exact same thing.
They take the baby from the belly of another woman in order to pretend that they had given birth to the baby. A baby that they either lost some how by mis-carriage or whatever. Or they never were pregnant with in the first place. So, they took the infant from the mother’s womb… so they could- Now, get this… let me say this slowly…
I cannot go any further with this.
Because if the truth be told there are some things which I just do not have any patience with. There are times that I think tax-payer’s money should not be wasted on. There are lots of ways tax-payers would be better served by the tax dollars taken out of each and every pay check, then by paying for cases like these that really do not warrant trials.
I know… I know…it would open the door to many of us being locked away for no cause at all. Because the system itself needs correction. BUT…
When you think about the economy… about the millions upon millions upon millions of people out of work… who could use another extension to their unemployment benefits …or whatever have you. There are plenty of places where money could go that would really serve some type of legitimate societal interest. But not the paying of lawyers and court costs for people like these women, in these cases cutting up women to steal unborn infants from their mother’s womb.
What would be their defense?
What defense could they have?
“I was crazy.”
We do not need to waste valuble court time to hear that.
And we have not even began to talk about the health issues that may surround the infants… or the lives and outcome of the murdered women’s other children, and family members if she had any.
Perhaps, it doesn’t sound Christian like to you… and I am a Christian.
I love the Lord… and He loves me. But in Biblical text we are informed to not lust after our neighbors possessions… it is called coveteness. Or to not envy them…that is coveteness too… and to do right by all men. And that ”thou shalt not kill.” Or “steal.”
So, I do not advocate killing such people… but I do believe they should be locked away. And kept away forever.
When I went up to read a story on 1 woman cutting a woman and stealing her infant, I in my wildest imagination never expected to see a listing of stories…one after another of simular acts.
I recall when I read the first story of this nature. It was some maybe 6 or 7 years ago.
The story centered around 2 women who had met over the internet… Craiglist or myspace ….or something like it.
One of the women was pregnant and the other woman befriended her. Over a period of time as their friendship grew… I guess… the pregnant woman gave the other woman her address. Whereupon near the time of pregnant woman’s delivery date for the birth of her child, the other woman went to whatever state where the pregnant woman lived and performed surgery upon the pregnant woman, killing her and removing the unborn infant from her body.
That was the very first time I had ever heard of that kind of story. So, it was a shock for me to find story after story after story… of women in various states all having done the same exact thing since that initial story.
This copy-cat thing is ridiculous. And the only way to deal with such things is to deal harshly with people who commit them.
But because the mind of people today is so warped the news sources should not divulge so much information about certain kinds of heinous crimes.
Also, I was grossly turned off by that reality show that showed doctors actually performing surgeries. Don’t know whether or not it still comes on… but is the need?
Who really needs to watch shows like that?
Or do our children really need video games that depict people realistically being blown apart, or shot to death, or cut up etc… etc…?
What are we developing here?????
One can clearly state that there is little reason for why the times are as they are today. Truly. There are a bunch of heartness conscienceless people walking around today. And we have only ourselves to blame… because of what we allow either in our homes via the television …or via our children’s video games… or in the movies on the big screen… or in the magazines… or whatever else and wherever else people consume negative images whether it be through music, or music videos, as well… we allow it.
It is amazing to me the things that people will get up and go marching against… such as same sex-marriages. Something which may never affect them, their family or anyone that they know. But they will picket against it…. vote against any politican remotely in favor of it, they will form rallies and bus trips to go to capitol statehouses. But they say nothing about what is allowed to strem into their homes, on their radios… through out their movies or even from page to page of the magazines put out form our consumption.
Whether Bobby marries Bobby or not is not anything that really deal with any of us personally. But the impact of what comes across the airwaves of our televisions and radios… and what is printed in our books and magazines, and movies does. And it can be harmful… hurtful… and can produce and inspire all kinds of criminal and violent acts.
We said nothing to the 10 Commanments being removed from Courtroom halls and buildings. We said nothing really about prayer being removed from schools… or the conversation of removing ‘In God we trust’ off of our currency.
When will we say something to something that really counts, is the question?
When will we ceased to be tossed to and fro with every whim like mindless and blind puppets?
There are a lot of things that should be challenged… and that serve no useful social purpose. Such as television shows that show people actually getting cut up during surgeries. And then we wonder why there suddenly is a rash of people out there using surgerical techniques while perpetrating various crimes.
It seems that there are those who have been voted into political office who think not about those whom they vowed to represent… but entered into the arena of politics so that they could establish some kind of name for themselves.
They consider not the needs of those whom they are vowed to serve and represent… whether or not they voted them in or not.
When 1 goes into political office it not for a chosen few… but for the masses of which they are said to be over their district… ward or whatever have you.
That being said…
“Why would any politican in his right mind vote down a plan that could possibly put millions back to work?”
Politics. That is the reason why.
There is no good reason behind hindering a bill that would put people to work rebuilding the infrastructure of this country. Clearly, it is a plan that could not fail… because bascially it calls for a lot of manual labor. As opposed to a bunch of computers or robots doing the work.
In a vote of 50 to 49 Obama’s Job Bill was defeated in the U.S. Senate. Every single Republican voted against the bill… inclusive of 2 turn-coat Democrats, Ben Nelson, Nebraska, and Jon Tester, Montana. The Jobs Bill needed 60 Senators to vote in favor of it in order for it to pass… to begin the process of putting thousands of Americans back onto the work rolls again.
There are people who do a lot of clicking and clacking… mostly because they want attention. Almost all of the Tea Party people can be classified as clickers and clackers. They only want some attention. Perhaps, they even have visions of themselves rising up out of the ranks to become some kind of major political player… or the next Barack Obama. Though they would never say that.
But they click and clack… posture… and pose… and never do anything for anyone. Because they can’t see beyond their own nose and selfish political goals.
The Jobs Bill needed to be passed. Not for the sake of Washington… but for the sake of the millions who have been out work …and can’t seem to find any solutions to their non-working dilemmas. They have been looking… but there is nothing out there.
Wouldn’t any bill that created any amount of substantials jobs been better than nothing?
To the people without 1 it would. But to a bunch of politicans who already have it made in the shade… quasi professions …politicans made up of lawyers… and now some doctors and businessmen… what do they have to worry about?
Their families are fed. Their bills are all being paid. They don’t have to worry about adequate health care… and they’veall got a job… supposedly representing you and me.
Every which way President Barack Obama has tried to re-boot this economy… and to get it in gear and restart it… along comes a bunch of Republican Politicans who would rather sabotage the President… rather than aid in helping America out of a dilemma that a former President… a Republican like themselves… put us all in.
A man who was a known and proven liar… yet nobody ever called him ‘liar.’ Yet, that word has been thrown at President Obama by so many Republicans… it makes you wonder what planet were they on while George W. Bush was sitting in the White House as President of the United States?
Well, God bless… and enjoy the rest of your week. How quickly these days are rolling by. We are mid-way through October already. Soon the rain drops in this picture will be replace by snow flakes. A welcome change… just hope that when it comes it won’t be too cold.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
1 comment October 14, 2011
I have never thought much of Arnold Schwarzenegger since a controversy once arose about him being a racist. I have since forgotten the details… but I think it had to do with him not hiring minorities within his staff, as governor of California. Or maybe it was something to do with him not having any minorities in his movies.
Through the course of living we have grown accustom to reading and hearing stories of men and women who have fallen down… who were living double lives and baring children with people outside of their vows of matrimony. So, this story about Arnold Schwarzenegger really shouldn’t be a great surprise. He is afterall… a man.
Don’t you hate hearing that?
“Well, he’s just doing what men do.”
“All men do it.”
“Maybe he wasn’t getting any at home.”
And the list goes on and on… as to the kinds of things people will say.
But sometimes we are caught off guard. People who we never would have suspected… though I would never classify Arnold as 1 of those as there had been rumors. Things about him groping and feeling up on women. But there were people like for instance… John Edwards. Even watching that mess unfold while standing at the counter of a local corner store… I just could not believe it. Not him was all I kept saying. Not goody 2-shoes… squeaky clean John Edwards. The John Edwards who said-
“I’m in love with my childhood sweetheart… that John Edwards?”
Then before him… there rose up Jesse Jackson. What a fine dude he was in his day. And I do mean fine.
He was the 1 that all the networks turned to concerning ‘black issues.’ He was a man for all season when it came to… his peoples…
Up to the point where he called Obama the ‘N’ word. But let’s go back before that… to those pictures displayed upon the front page of the New York Post and everywhere else… of Jesse… and ‘the’ woman… the very pregnant woman …carrying his ‘love’ child… who at the time that story broke… she had already had the baby. That was the picture with him and Bill Clinton…another 1… and her just grinning like there was not going to be a tomorrow for any of them.
Yes…the ‘right’ Reverend Jesse Jackson. Needless to say that controversy certainly changed a lot of people’s opinion about him… and what he truly represented. Which as already mentioned… was compounded by that little incident with him talking off camera with an open mic on… talking some crazy stuff about what he would like to do to Obama while referencing him with the ‘N’ word.
Clearly, if I had been Jesse’s wife… and I have said it over and over… since seeing that 1 picture in the New York Post. The 1 with the woman being 7 or 8 months pregnant with Jesse standing… I think behind her… grinning from ear to ear with his hands stretch around her inflated belly.
Oh, yeah… I would have been just like Morgan Freeman’s wife, and got me 1 of those high power lawyers. And he would have been seeing stars for the rest of life… after I got through with him. He would have been too dizzy to ever walk up onto any stage ever again… when I got through with him. But I guess Jesse’s wife is kinder… gentler… and more forgiving than I am.
But some women when they have had enough… they truly have had enough. And Morgan Freeman’s wife was 1 of those women.
One could argue… what was he thinking?
Maybe it was a lapse in judgment.
But for how many years did he suffer that lapse?
I am talking about Schwarzenegger now. What could he have been thinking? And to be doing it with someone who worked within his own house. Who was impregnated with his child at about the exact same time as his wife with their last child.
And who allowed the other woman… a maid to bring that child into the house of his wife… where this little boy probably played with his other son… the 1 born about the same time as the child he fathered with the maid… a woman who worked for his wife… aiding Maria around the house… and probably with her children as well.
Is this a confusing story?
Obviously, not. It did not seem to confuse Arnold at all. Because some how during the course of the last 10 to 13 years… the span of the life and birth of his outside son… he never slipped up. That is Maria Striver claims to have never known about the child before Arnold finally told her about him some weeks ago. Whereupon, she packed up and moved out… taking her children with her.
Not to be or seem evil… but I never thought the Striver/Schwarzenegger marriage was a good match. And it goes beyond him being Republican… and her being deeply rooted as a Democrat.
It just seemed to me that Arnold Schwarzenegger had a need to legitimize himself. Coming from Austria… and having a funny last name… combined with a funny and then quite thick accent… as well as… I guess he had some political ambitions. What better way to create for himself the type of American acceptance that he might not have ever gotten any other way than by marrying a Kennedy.
In seeing a picture of the woman… 1 would have to wonder what did Arnold see in her. She appears to be older than Maria… and I don’t know what she looked like some 20 years ago when she started working for the Schwarzenegger family… but that is all gone now. But then I thought that about the woman John Edwards impregnated… and about Marla Maples or Naples…or whatever her name was. The woman who Donald Trump took up with… and soon married. She probably was pregnant too… because that whole thang happened pretty quick. And soon it was over.
They snub their noses at those who do not have the money that they do… or who do not live quite as well off as they do. I’m talking about the supposed ‘high class’ who talk about… ‘all they do is make babies.’ But when push comes to shove they themselves are about as ‘ghetto fabulous’ as those they often look down upon. And they have far less class in the dealings of their own infidelity… than those they shun.
Though now nearing the end of his term as a governor, I have no doubt… Arnold felt it now safe to disclose his little secret. However, what men do not take into account is how women feel about men who cheat. And particularly if they not only cheat …but also make someone pregnant in the process of their cheating. And don’t let them walk around for years like they had not done anything… pretending.
But Arnold was so bold… he got the woman pregnant and then decided he wanted to be governor too. That is about just as bad as John Edwards deciding to run for President of the United States a second time… while his wife is dying of cancer… and his mistress was pregnant.
And to put the icing upon the cake for Arnold… it was all done within the preview of his wife and children. Right there under their own noses.
This is why I will never be able to stand that little guy… Woody Allen. I will never support him or anything that he does. To think that Mia Farrow adopted some children… and during the course of some time… he began taking lewd and questionable pictures of the then quite young girl… whom he later divorces Mia Farrow for… so that he could marry her.
What kind of craziness was that?
Clearly, the man had… and has problems. And I for 1 do no sanction them.
Another rat was… or is… that Rudolph Giuliani. Yeah, that guy from New York City who used to be the Mayor…then ran for President… and might try to run again. But he will never make it. Because women do not forget.
Giuliani… when he was Mayor of New York started seeing this women. This woman… he would bring to Gracie Mansion… the Mayor’s place of residence. in New York. This mind you was where his wife and his son lived. And Giuliani… the good mayor… would have this woman staying there with him… under the same roof with his wife and child.
What kind of a dog is that?
At least in the ghetto… most men know not to try that. If the woman doesn’t have an apartment of her own… then they know how to find a cheap motel or hotel. But ain’t nobody in the ghetto going to pull up to his wife’s house talking about he going to bring some other woman… in there to do his thing. Huh-uh… that ain’t happening… ever. Not with the wife knowing about it… it is not. Definitely not.
You have got to be kidding. And I am not joking about this… as this type of behavior is not acceptable. It is immoral …and it can be traced throughout history. Infidelity is not new… you only have to go back a few years to Bill Clinton and his little 24-year-old friend… named Monica.
It would seem that wedding vows do not mean very much today. Maybe never… as long as men and women have allowed themselves to become enticed sexually outside of their marriages.
Through the course of the 20 years that woman who worked in the Schwarzenegger household was taken care of by Schwarzenegger. Who knows maybe Schwarzenegger placed her there… got her the job in his home in the first place?
But upon retiring from her job as a maid for the Schwarzenegger… he bought the woman a nearly $300,000 house in an exclusive LA residence. And it also looks like he paid for her to have a boob job as well. Because in her pictures she clearly looks like she had 1. It does not look natural.
The 1 thing about outside of a marriage children… it is funny how many times those children look more like the men that fathered them… than the children within the marriage.
The Bible says a good name is worth more than rubies. I was listening to a Preacher preach and he began to talk about rubies. He said that rubies are more rare than diamonds. I had never thought about that… but you know what it is true.
The way most things operate in this world is based upon supply and demand. The higher the demand and the less the supply…the greater the price. Except for this 1 thing… rubies. We often hear of the diamond mines in South Africa and other places. There are some areas where I have heard it said that they… the people who live in some places… almost stumble upon diamonds daily. In these places the people are banned from gathering the diamonds in their country. But I have never heard anything about rubies. I really don’t even know where most rubies come from.
Hold it …I have got to ‘google’ this up.
They are 2nd only to diamonds …and are only the 2nd hardest mineral known to man. They are found in Thailand, India, Madagascar, Zimbabwe, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Kenya, Tanzania, Kampuchea, and most notably in Burma. And here is 1 for you… they are also found in North Carolina… right here in the United States. Imagine that and we rarely ever hear anything about rubies.
But back in Biblical times it is possible that rubies were considered more valuable than diamonds are today. Because the Biblical texts says that ‘a good name is worth more than rubies.’
When you think of it through history certain family names have stood out in this country such as ‘the’ Kennedy’s… ‘the’ Rockefeller’s… and so on. And with those names has come a certain level of respect… and to degree of regard… reverence and honor. These names are held in high regard and come with a track record so to speak of commitment and success. Having such a name opened doors and created opportunities for those who bared their family mark… their name.
Maria Striver has held onto her family identity being part of the Kennedy clan. I never once ever heard her being refered to as Maria Schwarzenegger. Though I guess that was kind of hard to get away from totally as she was, and at this time… still is married to Arnold… who is still governor of California.
How it all plays out remains to be seen. But Maria has lawyered up… and if she moves forward this will be a big 1. And it will cut deeply into Arnold’s fun money.
The moment I read the headline to this story… I knew that I was going to write something on it.
I cannot believe that a 17 or 18…or maybe 20 something young woman would elect to surgically have her body transformed to pretend to be something that she is not. But then to do it… and want to play on the women’s basketball team… is more than a bit puzzling to me.
What is the point?
It just does not make sense. Maybe the boys team is too rough for her… or whomever.
Okay…so, you believe that you are man… and that somehow your body type got confused. And you decide to straighten out whatever mistake that you tell yourself that God must have made… why then after doing all of this… changing your sexual organs and such… I guess… from female to male… then why would you want to play basketball on the women’s team?
Could it be that somewhere down deep… she still feels and knows that she is really a woman?
Perhaps, as confusing to me …it must have been for the young lady, Kye Allums, who ventured out to do it. And recently she has decided to come off of the Georgetown University women’s basketball team amid all this controversy.
It is perplexing.
And maybe… you don’t care to hear this. But if it had not been for the Lord we would all be just as equally confused. Making all kinds of crazy decisions and seeing them as right.
I first heard this story when a friend relayed it to me. I, of course, had always had my own thoughts on this as I had come in contact with Queen Latifah a couple of times. I hadn’t run into her at any parties …but I had heard where she hung out at when she came across the bridge into Manhattan.
And I am all for letting people along… and letting them live their lives. I once was there and I always felt that what I did in the privacy of my bedroom was my own personal business. I, of course, at that time never had any consideration of God. I just felt that as along as it didn’t involve children or animals… then leave me alone.
I also felt that same way about other people and their lives. I never liked listening to people tell me about their long weekends with their boyfriends. BORING.
Because I never thought of the workplace as a place of sharing every detail… and particularly those kind of stories. I was more quiet… laid back. I didn’t talk about my business… and only half listened to what other people were telling me about theirs.
So, the story is finally out… and with pictures. But if you believe it or not… because most people believe whatever they want to… pictures or no pictures anyway. I have always admired Queen Latifah. I am not interested in looking into anyone’s bedroom… I have too much on my own plate for that.
But to me Queen Latifah has always been a good role-model. Even as a rapper… she did not sell herself out… or our people… or other women. She was clean… decent… and came with rapps that jammed not insulted… or made us shame. And then she flipped that around and made herself a movie star…it just showed that she was also capable of reinventing herself… and she was always an entrepreneur.
So, I applaud her.
The fact that you or I may not agree with what she does in the bedroom… does not take away from the fact that she is an adult woman making her own choices and decisions and doing well at doing so. And 1 day she may make another decision just as I did… but that choice is hers… God gave that right to her.
But here is something we can all agree upon… at least she is not walking around trying to make it seem that it is alright. She is not flaunting it.
That takes me now to Tonex. I saw Lexi’s interview… even posted a blog about Tonex. But it is hard for me to agree with anyone who knows scripture… as it is written in the Holy Bible… to believe that living such a life is agreeable to the will of God. It is totally out of step… and I would be remiss if I did not say so.
To some level I will not deny that I have and do still now suffer with my own level of homophobia… which might sound strange coming from an ex-lesbian. But even while living ‘in the life’… I had it. But the 1 thing that I am careful not to do… is to hopefully not offend… hurt… or despise anyone. Nor do I poke fun at… or laugh at… or make light of any situation of being. And this is the way that more people should come to be.
I am not talking about being in acceptance… but being understanding… loving… kind… and not confrontational. The Bible say that with ‘love and kindness have I drawn thee.’
Find that spirit within yourself… and you may start drawing more people to the Lord.
Oh, on my final note… since so many people have been hitting my blog for more information on Cher’s ex-daughter…Chastity… since the release of some pictures this week and the announcement that she is going to marry her long time girl-friend. Here is what I have to say on the matter…
Well, she has managed to harden her facial features and looks more like a man… but at the end of the day… none of us can really un-do anything that God has done. No matter how hard me try… or how much medication… and surgeries you have. It can’t be undone… no matter what the mirror says… or what people tell you.
I’m sorry, Chastity… it is just the way that it is.
Gender transitioning is a misnomer. There is no such thing as transitioning your sex into another. We are what God says we are. Removing or having certain things changed about our physical being does not change our basic DNA. It may corrupt certain cells etc… even effect parts of our chemical make-up. But it is impossible to totally reconstruct certain core things about our inner workings and true gender.
If you can transition your sex… then why stop there?
Why not transition yourself into being rich… or famous?
That’s the point… it just does not happen like that. Though becoming rich and famous are certainly reasonable and achievable goals. But reconstructing your entire physical chemistry is not.
Well, I have been working on this blog for the better part of my day now. Started at about 2:30 this afternoon… and it’s now a little after 4:30 in the morning. Definitely time for me to go to sleep now.
But I did get up to mop the kitchen and bathroom… and got me something to eat in the in-between time. In a few hours it will time for me to get up and go to church. So, I will say good-night…
Hope you have a bless day… and weekend. They say mostly sunny and warm weather this week. I really didn’t mind what we got this past week. It was dark and rainy most of the time. But I like the rain… and that is not to say that I don’t equally enjoy the sun. Because I do.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
2 comments May 22, 2011
Got up very early again this morning…but I was not nearly as productive as I had been on Saturday. In fact, I got up going to the bathroom and then stopped to read a chapter in my Bible…and then returned to bed.
I spent the past couple of nights sweating out my cold…of course, I can certainly see a vast difference. Been drinking plenty of fluids too…and also been making sure I take my iron tablets. Got to thicken up my blood…which is why I am also enjoying my Cream of Wheat. I am working on my 2nd box of it now…and still enjoying every minute of it. And as I do…it makes me think of how my father used to make it for us as children.
Mondays was our father’s day to care for us. As he was a barber…Sundays and Mondays were his 2 days off. I do not know how they worked out their schedules…but my mother and father did have it worked out as we were never left in the care of other people.
Daddy worked days and mommy worked nights. She worked at a state institution as a nurse supervisor…as I had previously stated in another one of my blogs…my mother had been the first black nurse in the little southern town where I was born.
Everything my parents did centered around us…their children. When they bought their first house…it was less than a block away from the little grade school that most of us went to…there was a bakery at the corner…a drug store…a small corner grocery store and deli…a bus stop…and we were only three houses in from the corner of a main roadway. Not to mention as I see by the city records today…they had bought the largest parcel of land of any 2 family house within our block. They were wise. And on top of all of that…there is a college right across the street.
So, when I eat Cream of Wheat it takes me back to those days…when daddy used to make it for us on cold mornings just as were going off to school. Some mornings he would fry us this thing called festival by some Jamaicans…or fried dumplings. He could really make those things…no matter what you call them. And we loved them…we filled them up hot out of the pan with plenty of butter and jelly…or some times with lots of syrup and butter…but they were good…always. But daddy was a great cook…and for that matter…so was our mother.
I am watching the snow fall down…and it is steady. It had been rain. It had rained straight through the night…and hard. Had all that rain been snow we would have been buried up under it right now. And that rain had been steady right up to the time it just turned to snow not so long ago. Now it is just a steady flow of un-yielding snow. I will soon have to go out and start shoveling…cold or no cold. But I am not going to complain…it is still beautiful.
I remember my friend in New York…the elderly woman, the church mother, who used to go to our church who passed this past August. You know I had never realized until some time later that she had passed on my mother’s birth date. And last night as I was thinking of her…my friend…it also dawned on me that when I had gone to the hospital to visit her…that the floor I had to switch from elevator to elevator on…had the same name as our street…the street that my parent’s house in on.
It is not a common name…and you do not see it everywhere. I thought that to be divine providence…you know…God’s working in the matter. I was very blessed to have had her…to have met her…and that she counted me as a friend. Her guidance to me shall forever be treasured.
In reading the article on religion…it is odd to me that a country founded on the freedom to practice religious beliefs would today be shifting away from having religion at all. But these days were bound to come.
When you reflect back on the years following 1962 when the push began to remove prayer from public schools…then anything bearing the word “God”…the challenge to remove the 10 Commandments from court houses and so forth…then this really should be of no surprise.
I don’t know…perhaps it is just me. But where were all those anti-gay marriage people…and anti-abortion people when all of this was going on?
Droves of anti-gay marriage people come out picketing and marching…and demonstrating…against something which does not affect them…and will never affect them. But when something like taking prayer out the public school system…removal of the 10 Commandments from the court houses and other federal buildings…removing the words “In God we trust” off of our U.S. currency…comes up…where are these people?
Prayer was taken out of our school and replaced by sex education…and condoms. The kids today in school learn less about their A-B-C’s, Math, Sciences etc…than they are about condoms and the ‘birds and the bees.’
Kids do not need to learn anything about sex. Nature through all her infinite wisdom and years of expertise in that department has not needed any help…from the day that Adam and Eve ate that fruit from that tree. There does not seem to be one time in history that men and women did not know how to get together to procreate. And now it seems…little kids too. And I won’t blame it all on sex-education…because that would be foolish and quite absurb of me. But I do not see where educating kids about sex…does one thing to prepare them for their future in life.
But if they wanted to really to teach them something in regard to youth parenting…then maybe like those ‘Scared Straight’ programs they used to have years ago…perhaps they should take them to a welfare office where they get to meet and talk to some teenage mothers and see for themselves the pitfalls of pregnancy at young ages. There is nothing like a little one-on-one in reality in order to get the whole picture.
Or maybe…have them go do work study hours in places like a welfare office or WIC office aiding in in-take service…and they would truly learn a lot that just might give them a reason to pause and to think twice about the consequences of childhood pregnancy.
As I sit here watching the snow…I have been thinking about this guy…this man. I had met him at an event that I gave a few years ago. So, whenever he sees me…he likes to greet me.
Which is fine…I have no problem with that. It is something I became accustom to through my years in radio. Everybody wants to grab you…hug you…kiss you on the cheek. Okay…so, allow it. It is part of the territory…it goes with the turf when you become popular.
But this guy one day while I was in the library computer lab at school saw me…and he came greeting me…kissing me on the top of my head. Okay…fine. I did not say anything about it…but it was on my mind.
But the other day while I was waiting in a bank line…he happened to be passing by and saw me. My back was to the bank door…and he came up behind me. He said something to me grinning…and then kissed me to the back of my neck. I thought nothing of it at first…but later as I got into my son’s truck…in which sat a friend of his whom I was giving a ride to…that is when it hit me.
That guy had kissed me to the back of my neck.
I am very picky. Peculiar…you might even say. I really do not like people getting too familiar with me…and particularly people who I do not really know. And besides…he was not even good-looking. And even if he was…he still out of order…and I am still picky.
After all, this guy started out by sort of hugging me. Then he moved on to greeting me with a light kiss to a cheek…then to the top of my head. And I really should have stopped him then. So, I put it in my mind that the next time I saw that guy I would have to tell him that he could not touch me again.
That time came shortly…while I was once again in the library computer lab. As he approached me…he bent with his arms open ready to embrace me…and I guess kiss me again. But I happened to catch him…right on time…and drew away from him.
I stopped him saying-
“Listen, shake my hand if you want to greet me. But do not kiss me.”
He looked at me oddly.
So, I began to remind him about that day in the bank when he had come in and kissed me on my neck. I told him that anyone seeing that would have thought that we had a relationship and were involved with each other. Then I asked him what he would have thought if he had been standing off somewhere in the distance and happened to see a man kiss me on my neck.
And you know what he said?
“I would have thought that you were involved with each other too.”
“Look, I am a woman of God. I cannot just have people walking up to me and kissing me all over the place like that. Plus that is disrespectful of me for you to do that. You should have more respect of me to even do anything like that.”
Wow, I have truly grown. I am a woman.
Gone are the days when I was a child…and people could do anything to me…or with me.
I have control over me.
And I am not having it.
You will respect me.
Wow… I am woman.
That guy apologized to me…and thanked me for correcting him. I appreciated him accepting my correction. Yet…I felt within myself that it should not have been warranted that I should have had to do such a thing. But men have a way…of taking things for granted…and particularly women.
I felt that many times while working in radio. I hated when my bosses called me ‘sweetheart,’ and ‘dear.’ It was very demeaning to me…while they never greeted each other in such a way…or spoke to each other in such familiar terms. Consciously , sub-consciously or unconsciously…such things historically have been designed to keep women in their place.
When I was a child…I was powerless. When I worked in radio…I had limited power. Today I am my own boss…I wheel power as I may…but yet…I measure it. As I know I can be highly intimidating to some.
But this may come as a surprise to some of you. But I have never been kissed. Not by the male species.
I know I have a son…but that does not mean that I allowed that man to kiss me. And I know that I said in my other blog…that Willis Kattrell…well, he kissed me. And he did. But I think my head was in motion when he did it…so he only caught a portion of my lips. To the side really…of my mouth.
So, I have never been kissed. Not really…though yes many women have kissed me…and I them. But the male species…no.
I never had a boyfriend…and have never dated men.
I am different… Not like most people. And my experiences have been different.
Yet, I am a mother. And I have a fantastically wonderful son. I treasure and love him very much. He too is…different.
This is how I know of generational curses. It was in my mother’s family. And I do realize…that generational curses can be broken. I bear witness to it.
I love the change in my life and look forward to my tomorrow. Perhaps…my husband. I now wish I had had other children. My son often had spoken of it…and still does.
There is this funny thing about me. After having been sexually abused at a very early age…perhaps before or by the age of 10…only twice and by 2 different men…but sometime thereafter, I decided that I wanted to save myself for my husband. I thought I wanted to live in a big house with a white picket fence…with a 2 car gargage…and have all the children that I could have. So, that is what I did…I decided to save myself…and that is what I did.
From the point of whatever age it was…10 maybe less…the last time someone had taken sexual advantage of me…I never became engaged again sexually until some time when I was 25 years of age. At this point…I was only interested in woman. And not just any woman. Gay women…women like me. Women who were upper-wardly mobile and doing something with their lives…professional women mostly in media…though some were doctors, accountants etc…but talented…beautiful…well educated women…who looked and acted womanly.
Not all women who are gay…look it. In fact…many do not. The same is true of men…though the reverse thinking about gays is the myth.
I have no idea as to why I have begun to disclose so much to you…about myself. I shall have to pounder it.
Ahhh…yes… The point.
So, I decided to save myself. Well, at that point I could no longer save certain things as they had been stripped from me. My innocence had been stolen from me. But somehow throughout all the years one thing has remained…my kisses. So, since I have never kissed the male species…or allowed anyone of that species to kiss me directly on the lips…I decided to save it.
I am saving it for my husband…it is the least that I can give him. Unpolluted…un-tampered with…safe within my power…to give…or not to give. So, I am saving it for him. So, no I am not going to let somebody just walk up to me…or sneak up from behind me…and think that he can just come and steal it away from me…not that too. Except for…of course…er, uhm…if his name is Willis Kattrell. (you have just got to read that blog)
And let me just say…that I am still scrubbing my neck today…everytime I step into the shower…I am trying to remove the memory of that man’s lips to the back of my neck.
Well, the snow is slowing up now. And the kids are on their way home from school. I better get out and start shoveling. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Didn’t like the VOGUE cover of Michelle Obama at all…just goes to prove that nobody can do us better than us. Thank God for Essence, Ebony, Jet, VIB, Right-On, Black Enterprise…and everything
else we have today.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on “ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment March 9, 2009
These young girls are receiving all the wrong messages and there is little being said about it. And forget…about ‘being done about it.’ Bcause that isn’t happening either.
The teen pact in Massachusetts was a shocker and should have created far more than just a wake-up call. It should have had people rolling out of their beds onto the floor and leaping up yelling-
“We’ve got to do something about this.”
But it did not. It was merely a hot topic for the moment…and then it was gone off the horizon.
What has since been done?
What heighten interest in this topic has been generated?
How many encounter groups have been formed to sincerely meet this problem head-on?
Where is the concern on this topic?
Teen sexual habits as they are today are highly serious problems. There is more at stake than a boy and girl getting together sexually. The problem is bigger than that and no one is really or sincerely looking into this problem. The issues and the impact are huge.
There are health issues involved…all kinds of dieases…many of which are life long. But this problem is also going to put millions more on the welfare rows.
Under age girls becoming mothers does impact us all and it should be all of our concerns. It is a moral issue…but it is even greater than that. And this concern is not only to what it will cost the states and eventually the federal government of this country, but there should also be a concern that these young girls are no more than mere kids themselves. Beyond a point the level of resentment does arise. And these kids have no knowledge that they are severely limiting their future life goals, expectations and levels of success…and choices in life.
While the kids are suppose to be busy going back and forth to school every day…they now have to balance their education with trying to parent babies or very young children. This can be a very daunting task for young parentsas babies and/or children take up a lot of time. It is even a very difficult task for the most grown-up adults to handle.
Children take time…and lots of it. They also require responsible and reasonable people in the care of them. Young girls under the age of 12 of even into their 20s or 30s many times are not ready for such a heavy responsibility nor the sacrafices that becoming a mother calls for.
Instead of chasing behind the gay population and trying to change them, and trying to get them to conform when laws are being created every day to encourage just the opposite…we should try working instead to make an impact in an area where we all have some level of control and a voice and that is among our children.
Oftentimes, the argument about education gets down to ‘the home’…well, this argument certainly is a ligitmate argument in this debate…as things in ‘the home’ can lead to effecting change.
Whether parents realize it or not…they can regulate their homes, the type of messages that their children are receiving, what is watched and listened to in ther homes…etc… But it is far more involved than just putting a chip in the cable system to block certain programming. It means getting your child’s face off myspace, out of facebook and whatever or wherever else it is…or whatever means they use to to make contact and meet people with whom they are enaging in sex…which on the face of it alone even sounds and looks wrong.
I personally don’t believe that anybody worth meeting is on the internet. You, if you are an adult, you should not indulged in it…and certainly your children should not. Yes, the internet has it values and good uses, but it also has a lot of risk factors…and safety issues when it comes to your children, teens…and even for older people who never learned that….yes, the world can be full of evil people who lie and try to sway you into dangerous places and situations. Predators are real…and none of you should have to find this out first hand.
But the kids are not alone when it comes to the internet. There are tons of grown up supposedly adult people who are doing the exact same thing. They have pages on myspace and pictures in facebook etc. And it is all wrong if you use it like a game of Russian roulette.
There is little wonder why the kids are in the situation that they are in if the adults are setting the examples or…and I hate to say this…or if the adults in their lives are following their examples…the kids examples in meeting people and becoming sexually involved with just anybody and everybody via the internet. Or even outside of meeting them over the internet.
What in the world is this world coming to?
What is the world is that?
There is too much tied in to sex…just the inter-personal nature of it alone. Call it what you want…but sex is not casual…it is just too intimate for that.
It is all wrong. WRONG….WRONG.
And of course, I know that the kids are hooking up at school too. Let’s face it now…even I at some point was a kid. But I never was stupid…and there is just no other way to say that. Nor was I…or have I ever been common.
There is something seriously wrong when a bunch of young girls are busy thinking more about getting pregnant than they are about the dress they plan of wearing to their class prom…or how they are going to get their mom to give them the money to go to movies next weekend.
There is something wrong when sex is the only thing on the fore-minds of young kids in school…more so than trying to study for an exam or thinking about their futures.
They do not care about an exam…or evidently their futures. No, they do not. Because if they did they wouldn’t be busy trying to get pregnant…or thinking about getting pregnant.
When I was growing up people tried hard to avoid getting pregnant. But then he standards of the day have been drastically lowered as opposed to those of yester-year. In fact, there are none…not today.
When did getting pregnant at a very early age become a badge of honor in this country?
And how can these kids be expected to do any better than the people they are watching and trying to emulate present these kinds of things to them day in and day out?
These kids are obsessed with images of the people they consider to be so-called stars. These so-called stars…they read about them, skim through the web to catch photos of…watch them in the movies or on television…and/or listen to on their iPods. And these people are their role models…whom they desire to emulate in every possible way…down to having babies by this one and by that one over there. And they never see a marriage ring or a wedding band.
That is the world our many of kids live in…and many adults, as well. That is why they can search facebook or myspace…and go from one person to the next. Because they live in a world of ‘no commitment.’ There parents are not committed to them. There teachers aren’t committed to them. Their schools aren’t committed to them…the government…society…nothing.
So, what do you expect…when a stranger over the internet shows them more interest than you do?
Even if it is for a hot minute. To them it beats none at all…no matter what they end up having to sacrifice.
Parents have got to invest time in…and quality time with their children. They need us to be concern about them…about their day…what’s going on with them…and the things we can help them with…as well as to encourage them…and, of course, to look out for their well being, as well as, protect them. There has to be quality time invested in your children’s lives all through their development…even into adulthood…if they allow you. And they will…if they trust you…but that trust is built up over time. That trust comes with involvement in their lives from the earliest stages of their lives straight throughout their developedment into adulthood.
It is time for America to not just take a serious look at this problem of teen and under age sex…but also to actively work to do something to cuve it. This tide must be stemmed because of the dire future consequences for America.
These young babies need to have a fighting chance at life. And they can’t do that by being born to people who are not mature enough to parent them properly.
The cost, to the system upon whom they will soon be imposing, should not become the driving force to make this country face this problem today.
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
God bless…and thanks for reading ©2008
Add a comment November 19, 2008
And there was…the supposed man in the story…is really a woman living as a man who…I started to say had a sex change. But she couldn’t have otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to have the baby or get impregnanted.
I am naive on many things…and I truly am.
But there are somethings which clearly just irritate me.
Why go through all of the trouble of trying to present yourself as a man…and then want to get pregnant?
What was she trying to make a mockery of?
Herself or God?
He can’t be made a mockery of.
And then to have this picture of her…well, supposely him and the baby together. Well…
Was this just a media thang?
And now they…what? The gay couple exploit the child and their relationship? Selling their story to the tabloids and appearing on talk shows. Anything for a dime or a dollar.
I once knew someone…and I guess I still do…just that I haven’t seen them in a very long time.
When I first met this person I realized something was out of whack…but I could not put my hands on it.
She lived in the same town as a friend of mines…and I say she because really that is what I met him as…and have only known him as. Though I do realize to call him…her would be lying…though at the time of course I was not saved…nor trying to be.
It was my friend who informed of what I just couldn’t put my finger on.
She said to me one night…while we were all out at dinner or something I think…she said after the person had gotten up from the table-
“I know you kept saying that there was something strange…or something about her. So, I have decided to tell you. And don’t look over there at her when I tell you this.”
I said, “Okay. So, what is it?”
And she said…she ain’t a she.
I know I said I wouldn’t look over in her direction…but my head spun around so quickly. It was an automatic response. I could not believe it. I knew I had felt something was out of whack…but I never would have guessed it was that.
My friend immediately admonished me saying-
“I told you don’t look. Don’t look.”
But I could not help but look. In fact I was staring. I had never experienced anything like that before. It was adverse to me.
I thought that she was a woman and nothing could have prepared me for anything otherwise.
I told you I had been terribly naive…and to some degree still am.
That was at a time when I was heavily involved in gay life…hanging out…partying in clubs with women…and a member of Salsa Soul Sisters, Inc, in New York City. My life is by no means like that now but there was a time…almost 25 years of my life when that is what I did. Before that I was not sexually involved at all.
So, I had gone through grade school and college without any type of involvement. Never dated boys in my life.
I was just different from most people and lived a highly sheltered life under the wings of my parents.
It was in Salsa Soul Sisters that I met this person whom I had introduced to my friend who had just moved to New Jersey from St. Louis. Salsa was a lesbian organization…and I guess that is why I never would have guessed that this person had been anything other than a woman.
But this is the way it went…she was a guy who wanted to be a woman and then a lesbian.
When the Salsa Soul Sisters found out about this…every founding mother and everybody else stormed into Salsa one night…the record had to be set straight (no pun intented)…and they called an emergency meeting. Where it was voted on that no biological male could ever become a board member of Salsa. Because that was really the issue…not only did she want to become a woman and be a lesbian…but she also was nominated to run for a position on the board of directors of Salsa…and that of course was a no-no for any male…real or operated on…which at the time she was not. And the Salsa Soul Sisters were not having it…not at all.
You would have loved to have heard those women that night…it got pretty heated…and they were not playing.
In the end I felt sorry for him…because he was nice and had proven to be a good worker. But my Salsa Soul Sisters were right…and I had to agree with them.
Salsa was a black lesbian organization…the oldest in the world. And through their years some very well known women, writers, artist of every type…and professional women and otherwise…etc… have walked through their doors…including Audrey Lorde, June Jordan and many many many others…all Salsa Soul Sisters. Some very well known and widely read, and seen in media and all facets of the arts, performing and otherwise, as well as educators etc…all Salsa Soul Sisters. Exceedingly, talented women.
It was hard for me to grasp why she…he would want to dress up as an woman and engage in sexual activity with women as a lesbian. She was after all a man…by living his life as man…he would not have had any of the confusion that just knowing the story caused me and many of the other Salsa Soul Sisters.
And as much as they tried…tried to not say…many of those same women dated her…before and after that meeting.
There is much confusion in the world…and I am so glad to not have that type of confusion any longer.
I am so glad that God has reclaimed my life…and set me free from the bondage that once held me.
Perhaps as strange as I thought she was…she was not more strange than I was. One thing is for certain we were both lost. I don’t know about her or him today…but I have been set free. And I walk in liberty.
But there is one thing though…I will leave a pocketbook like most people forget an umbrella…because I am not used to carrying one. So, most of the time I don’t even bother with them…unless it is something like a bookbag…because I will walk off and leave it. Smile…and even that too may become a thing of the past.
It is so good to be free. I cannot thank the Lord enough…for saving me.
Have a good day… and God bless….
Oh, yeah…another Chinese word. wu bu dong …. means I don’t understand… wu is Chinese for ‘I’.
It has been raining most of the day and yesterday…but just as I was about to finish telling this story the ceiling started leaking. I look at it as a sign that the devil just doesn’t want me to tell this story. But I will tell it everywhere I go if need be…if it can encourage somebody or help someone else to find peace and deliverance in their life. I’m going to tell it.
I am oh so thankful….for the chance to share it with you.
It is funny…but the moment I wrote that last paragraph the ceiling stopped leaking. It is the power of God…to speak what he puts upon your heart to speak. I know that this blog is going to touch someone in a special kind of way…and I am so happy to be able to speak life and truth into your life. Be bless… ©2008
Add a comment July 24, 2008
Felt like I wanted a donut…
Why can’t I have a donut if I want one?
So, every now a then…sometimes I just feel like I want a donut. Sometimes it could be a piece or chocolate cake…and real good chocolate cakes are hard to find nowadays. But sometimes I feel like I want one of those old time good tasting pieces of chocolate cake. Now, that I might have to have a couple of pieces if I could find it.
I don’t know…I guess from time to time we all get a taste for something…andwhen we do… Well, we just want it.
Well, this evening about 9:30 p.m. my urge was for a donut.
So, I jumped into the car and headed for the local Dunkin Donuts. But the one near the house was closed…just goes to prove I don’t get a donut urge often…otherwise I would have known that.
So, since I really wanted this donut and the place nearest to the house was closed…and I was already in the car…and even though gas is $4.16 per gallon…I decided to go for it…and get my donut anyways.
I drove right pass the second donut place believing that it too was going to be close. And even though I had my glasses on…I totally missed the big bright and very lit up sign reading “Dunkin Donuts.”
So, I had to make a u-turn. And as I drove home smacking on my donuts :). I started thinking wouldn’t it have been nice to be able to say-
“Baby, I want a donut.”
And someone would get up and go get in the car and get me a donut.
At any part of the day when my mother would come in, shower and lay down on the bed…if she desired something she rarely called any of us…her 8 children. Instead she could be heard calling for my father.
She would call him softly…never in a barking or rough tone…and she never called daddy by his real name…instead she called him, Douglas.
Whatever daddy was doing he would stop and go to mommie and see what it was that she wanted.
And sometimes mommie would just say-
“Douglas, bring me a glass of water.”
Daddy never complained…and always went to do or get whatever my mother would ask him for.
He was a businessman who had a very prosperous barber business that had serviced many generations of men in our town. His business did so well that we were literally the richest people in our church, probably on our street and perhaps in many of the circles in which we travelled even as teens and young adults.
They were very good together…my parents.
Daddy was 15 years older than mommie but you would have never had guessed it.
I have never met anybody who had all the capabilities of daddy. He could have been a tailor if he had wanted to…or a chef, or a mechanic, or an architech. Daddy could do everything. And he could do them all well…even better than well. He was superbly proficient in everything that he could do…and there was nothing that daddy could not do.
Sundays and Mondays were daddy’s days to cook. Though my mother would help out on Sundays doing things like baking (cakes, pies, fresh rolls etc.) and making macaroni & cheese, and cooking the greens…things like that. But daddy prepared all the meats which would entail him cutting up many onions, scallions and all kinds of spices.
He always seasoned his meats hours before cooking…and if it was curry goat he would season it the night before. Daddy would take his hands and mesh the seasoning into the meat. He would pour in hot water and allow the seasoning along with the curry and the onions to steam into the meat before placing it into the refrigerator to sit overnight. That is how he always cooked the curry goat.
He also prepared the rice, whether it was rice and beans, or regular rice, mashed potatoes etc.
Both mommie and daddy were fantastic cooks…and they could do everything from scratch. And didn’t have to refer to one cookbook.
Dinner was always a feast at our house no matter what day it was…but on Sundays even more so…we would 2 or 3 meats to chose from. And there were always guest whom my mother would bring home from church to share our Sunday dinners with us.
It wasn’t until I lived in Chicago…and was a thousands miles away from home that I came to realize just how special it was to be able to open up your home to other people. When I was in Chicago, I was away from family and all my friends…and there were many times when I was in need. This, of course, I never shared with my parents. No, I couldn’t do that.
I went to Chicago to become this big-time radio personality. As bad as things sometimes got for me, I managed to even send some money ocassionally…though at one point I was virtually homeless in Chicago.
Sending money home to my parents was something I had seen my parents do throughout our years of growing up…so, when I became of age it was what I wanted to do too. So, I sent…I never thought about whether or not my parents needed it. Because clearly my parents had more than enough…as our family was exceedingly blessed.
But while in Chicago there were some holidays that came around…Christmas and Thanksgiving. And when you are alone and away from your family for the first time in your life it can be very sad and lonely those 2 holidays.
While in Chicago, I never got a job on a radio station…but I had talked to Tom Joyner, Barry Mayo, BB Banna and several others on a regular basis trying to get in. But I ended up working at a church instead as a church secretary. I was in need and after a long period of looking I finally landed this job. At first I felt myself above it. “Me”….a secretary….”me…”
Big time me…a church secreatary?
But my no soon turned to a yes when I met my would be boss during an interview…which I nearly refeused to go to because “it was just too beneath me.” Thank God, I did not.
Of all the jobs I have ever had that job has meant the most to me, and I know today that it was right where God intended for me to be. For the lessons that it taught me and the greatest example of mentoring and leadership anyone could have possibly have gotten…I got there.
The church was 6th Grace United Presbyterian Church, 35th and Cottage Grove, on Chicago’s South Side…right down the street from the White Sox stadium. The Pastor was the late Dr. A. L. Reynolds, Jr…who from the moment I met him, I began to marvel at him. I have never met anybody like Dr. A. L. Reynolds, Jr…not even to this day. And at the moment I met him I knew he was special…but I had never realized that I had stepped into the presence of greatness until years later. What a man.
Why am I telling you this story…I have no idea. I will have to go back and read some of what I just wrote to see where I’m suppose to be going with this….give me a minute….
I sometimes get lost.
Oh, yes…oh, yes….
While at home with our parents, I used to wonder why we couldn’t spend our Sundays and holidays with just us…just our family. Why did we always have to have people over our house, eating our food and taking up our time?
I was selfish…terribly so.
It wasn’t until I was a thousand miles away from home that I came to realize just what a blessing my parents…my mother and father were to other people.
My parents didn’t invite people into our home who had a lot of things, or who were rich or popular…they invited people who didn’t have family, some were even in nursing homes…whom we would go and pick up to bring to church then take them to our house for dinner and back to church, and then later back to their nursing home at the end of the day.
They, my parents…they brought sunshine into people’s lifes and they never asked for anything in return. They enjoyed doing it.
In Chicago, I spent 2 holidays in the home of the Rippleton’s. Mr. and Mrs. Rippleton were the parents of the late singer Minnie Rippleton…and they had been members of 6th Grace. They were extremely nice people and full of alot of fun. Mr. Rippleton was a real comedian. Mrs. Rippleton sometimes talked to me about Minnie and the cancer, and how difficult it had been for Minnie…and their family watching her go through that.
My very first day on that job…I got a call early in the morning from someone asking to speak to Dr. Reynolds.
The woman said, “Hello, this is Minnie Rippleton. Is Dr. Reynolds in?”
I almost dropped the phone…that 6 octive voice, Grammy Winner…Minnie Rippleton was on the other line talking to me. And here I had come to Chicago to get into radio…and couldn’t get in. And here was Minnie Rippleton on the other end of my office line…the very first call on my first day on the job.
CLICK to LISTEN Loving You – Minnie Ripperton They don’t make music like this anymore…nor like her family, the Rippertons, whom I shall always love and have the greatest and highest regard for… for their love and hospitality to me… as well as the whole 6th Grace family.
Minnie died that evening but she had called and conversed with Dr. Reynolds, her spiritual advisor and Pastor. She had called in the first thing that Monday morning.
It was also at 6th Grace that I met Harold Washington…but that is another story for another time.
And perhaps I will get around to telling about when I met James Baldwin…what a day that was. I never met anyone like him…he was quite gracious. But that too is another story that perhaps I will get around to sharing with you at some other time.
Let me go back to telling you about my father.
Daddy could make the best ice tea, Kool-aide and lemonade. He also made homemade ice cream, in a variety of tropical favors, which we all gladly churned on Sundays.
Daddy was so good at everything including his business that in the morning men would be outside our door waiting on him to give him a ride to work…so that they could be the first one in his barber chair.
Daddy caught the bus to work usually. His barber shop was in the downtown area of our town. He always got up on time and would arrive at his shop every morning that it was due to open, Monday-Saturday, at 7:30 a.m. where a few of his customers were sure to be there waiting on him. And because he was so popular…this was, of course, the reason why some of them would come to the house to give him a ride.
Daddy loved it. He loved his customers…and always respected their time.
The one thing daddy never did…he didn’t eat sandwiches.
Mommie always prepared daddy a hot lunch which she would drive down to him some time during noon. But most of the time daddy would bring the food home mostly untouched because he would never get a chance to eat it. He was always busy taking care of customers right up until the time he closed his shop for the night.
And when he came home mommie always had him something good to eat…and it was always fresh and hot. He didn’t eat what we ate. Where mommie might make us spaghetti some nights, or homemade chicken pot pie, or meatloaf on others etc…which of course all kids love…but daddy would get stuff like smoothered steak with green peppers and onions over mashed potatos, and some sort of vegetable.
Another thing about daddy…he was a saver. He was also one of those people who as soon as a bill came in he would pay it. He never waited on due dates to pay anything. He managed money very well…and had the bank accounts to prove it. And though he only had a 7th grade education which render his reading skills weak…he could sure count money. He stayed on top of his money and his bills.
Though my mother worked as well…her money was her money. Daddy provided for our family. He paid for all our household expenditures, mortgages, grocery bills etc. And anything to do with us…he paid for it.
Daddy was clearly the husband that the Bible calls men to be…a provider. And our household wanted for nothing.
As children we spend our Christmas’ in Florida…and by the time we would return home over the holiday it was as if Toys R Us had made a special trip just to our house.
As we grew up we started spending our summers in Florida instead.
My parents spared nothing.
When they wanted a new car…they bought it. And they bought nothing that we all could not fit in.
When we went on trips…we all went.
When they decided to go to Jamaica…it was a family affair…which was the way my parents treated everything.
My mother loved to shop and that is what she did with her money. But she not only loved shopping for herself…but for us as well…as well as for daddy. At eighteen she was still buying all of my clothes. And everything she bought was top shelf.
And that is how daddy bought too. He did not buy cheap…and he tailored all his own clothes. He had the measuring tape, the pins and the white chalk to make the marks…the whole works. Daddy took everything serious. He was very percise and took such care in whatever he did. And he could sew by hand…as well as anyone could with a sewing machine.
In the basement he had all his tools; saws, drills, snakes for the plumbing system (which comes in handy when you have kids), levers…everything. Because daddy could build and make things, and was always working around the house.
Including gardening…daddy did that too…as well as service our cars and bicycles.
Mommie loved daddy’s tomatoes, green peppers and cabbage, strings beans, greens etc…
Yes, along with everything else daddy also had a green thumb too.
I don’t know who taught daddy…but they taught him well.
Though daddy might not have been able to read well…that, however, never stopped him from picking up a book and trying to sound his way through a few words…or from starting his business. And when I think on it…the thought of me helping him to learn to read never even came into my mind. I do not know why.
Mommie had been the first black nurse in the little town she grew up in down in a small town in Florida. When she retired she had been a nurse supervisor at a state institution.
Their schedules rotated around their children. We were their pride and joy.
They treated us to everything…everything good. They were not drinkers, smokers, cursers or things like that…nor did they allow cards or card playing in their house. Though we could play Ol’ Maid, checkers and stuff like that. And I do not know how Daddy could do it…but he was a master even at checkers.
Who could beat him?
Before you knew it he had the board loaded with kings…and just blowing you away with his moves taking everything you had on the board. What a mind.
We were never allowed into people’s houses, nor could any of our friends come into our house. As my parents said that they had had 8…and that 8 was enough.
We were not allowed to stay over people’s houses. And they did not believe in paying us any allowances for helping out around the house. Which sometimes included getting on our knees and scrubbing the floors, or wiping down all (and I do all) the woodwork in the house etc…etc… Oh, how I hated those Saturday mornings when we would be waken up to find buckets in the kitchen with rags in them…waiting on us.
From our parent’s house have sprang graduates from Moorehouse, Florida A & M, Princeton, University of Alabama, University of Kentucky, Brandeis University, etc…etc…and they are still coming. We’ve got a few more who will graduating in a couple of years and some whom we have began to set up for Spellman and Harvard…you’ve got to plant these seeds early.
My parents were believers in education. My mother was always taking classes. I can’t tell you how many times she took typing… she kept flunking it. But she kept on taking it anyways. She also took bookkeeping and a few other classes…including voice lessons.
Mommie definitely could not sing…but that didn’t stop her. I have to admit that the voice lessons did do a little good though.
Whenever mommie would go to school for a conference regarding me…she would come home with the report to my father. Whenever I tried to explain to my father about the teacher and how she didn’t like me…my father would always stop me short…and never hear whatever it was I was trying to tell him.
He would glare at me saying-
“The teacher got her’s you’ve got to get yours.”
I hated hearing those words…but today I understand them well. And daddy was right. I’ve even come to recite them a few times myself.
Daddy was full of witticisms also. He was some kind of special…and I don’t know how he and mommie met. But one thing for sure they sure loved each other.
Yes, daddy was very special and if ever I were looking for someone…I doubt that I would ever ever find anyone quite like daddy.
Well, if you feel like a donut…I hope you have someone who can go get you one. Or go with you…or take you to get one.
I hope I didn’t rample on and on…and that you got some sense out of this blog.
Enjoy your day…and I’m working on my rib business. I have spent so much money that I have actually run out of money. I have the whole set-up but I don’t have the money to buy the goods. So, maybe we will up and running by next weekend…this weekend looks a bit bleek. But it is all part of the process. Sometimes you have just got to learn how to go with the flow.
You know I really learned that from my friend in New York whom we are expecting to pass.
In her words…”Whatever God allows.” ….God bless… ©2008
Add a comment July 16, 2008
This post is inspired by a sermon by Bishop Charles Ellis, III, of Detroit, MI, entitled “I’m Still Standing in an Upside Down World.”
There is something about my blog on ‘Gay Pride’ which plagues me somewhat.
I in no ways intended to say or make it appear that I agree with gay (same-sex) marriages. Oh, no… In no way could I do that. For those things which are wrong are wrong…and gay marriages are wrong. And certainly go against the will of God.
However, what I was trying to say was…that I thought it was interesting that many gay people want to get married whereas many heterosexuals (for whom marriage was intended) do not.
I think that we have to be very careful in making statements that make wrong seem right…and to some degree that blog may have seemed that way to some. But it was not intended that way.
The Bible says “With love and kindness have I drawn thee.”
So, therefore I cast no judgement upon anyone.
Yes, I have opinions but my opinions are not meant to comdemn.
I don’t like gay jokes…particularly from the culpit. Because there is nothing funny about sin. So, therefore no sin should become a joke.
Nor do I like speaking about being homosexual or heterosexual…as to speak in terms of sex is to be caught up in fleshy things…because sex has to do with the flesh. And it is something which we all have to battle against.
Speaking of which, you will have to read my book when it comes out, “The Bishop’s Wife”….a sho’nuf must read. I will tell you when you can get it…as it is already at the publishers…you can read about that in my very first first blog…under ‘self-publishing.’ Well, so much for my shameless plug for my up-coming book…“The Bishop’s Wife.”
I hope I have addressed the issue of same-sex marriages, pre-martial sex (all of which you can read in my ‘Gay Pride’ blog)… along with my stance on them and other things all through my blogs…of which, if you haven’t read them all…do indeed give them a read. And don’t forget to share this blog address www.bsmith101.wordpress.com with your family and friends…and co-workers…everybody! Enjoy…and thank you for reading.
Be kind to those around you. With love…champion your enemies.
I will never forget once being in downtown Brooklyn when I came across a young employee whom I had had a lot of problems with…but when she saw me downtown that day (which had been the first time she had seen me for some time)…when she saw me…she came running towards and threw her arms around me burying her head in my chest with such joy.
And I said to her as we conversed, “Patrina, I thought that you didn’t like me.”
And she answered saying, “Yes, Miss Smith. But you were fair.”
So, I say champion your enemies and they will run towards you…with open arms.
ps….I have been doing nothing but sleeping. I’m still trying to catch up to all the sleep I lost while being on vacation last week. ©2008
Add a comment July 14, 2008
Well, June is Black Music Month and Gay Pride. All across New York City most of this month things have been hopping…events and been taking place all over the city. Events here and events over there, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Yonkers etc. But Sunday is the big day…the parade comes up 5th Avenue and moves across 7th Avenue when it hits the Village onto Christopher Street and then a “party ain’t a party unless I run…”
During all the hoopla over same-sex marriages I keep asking one thing. Why are people so up in harms about it? It is not like gays have not been marrying each other for years. It probably dates back to before Christinaity. Hold it…wait a minute…before you go bonkers and start to debate me on the issue. Let me just say that the Greek Culture was known for it and homosexuality is spoken of all through the Bible along with a wide variety of other things…and nobody has stopped doing them either.
However, the point I am trying to make if you would just hold off for a moment…is this. That the only difference now that various states are slowly starting to sanction the union of same-sex couples as being legal it allows them to reap the benefits that come along with being married…such as being able to file their taxes together, having the right to have a say so during medical emergencies etc.
But at least the gay men and women want to get married. That is all I am saying.
What about the “so called” straight couples?
Why don’t they want to get married?
This is really where I have been trying to get to in a round about way. Because I think this is a even greater issue. We could talk about fornication, adultery, homosexuality, lying, cheating, stealing, swearing, killing, raping etc…all of which are sins no matter how you lay it out…say it…or who is doing what.
But this thing…where everybody is just shacking around and half playing house…this really bothers me. I can’t really understand it. Moral codes are rapidly disappearing all over the world. Of which most of them start in the home. But if the home has no moral codes…then what have people to operate with when they are outside of the home?
That guy who stole 24 years of his own daughter’s life. He locked own his daughter away in a basement crawl space…which he meticulously built just to imprison her…for using her as his personal sexual slave while claiming she had run away…and caused her to bare 7 or 8 children that were both her sisters and brothers and to whom she was also their mother.
That man’s excuse, and we will not call him “father,” was that after his father left their home when he was a kid…he and his mother used to…and I will stop right there…because the story is too sicking. But it failed to remove any responsibility from that man for his own self-serving acts perpetrated upon daughter…and subsequently his children/grand-children. What a sick story.
When you think of all these children being molested and killed, women beaten and raped, murdered…pregnant women killed by their husbands…one has to wonder what is going on.
What is going on?
Going back to the issue of ‘marriage, no’…’sex, yes.’
Oh, I know everyone has their own reasons for not wanting to get married…or vice versa.
I have a friend who has lived with someone this way for over 20 years. I have heard and can sympathize with her reasoning. However, marriage I think is important to sealing and bonding people together. Which I guess this is why gay people also desire to marry.
Though today many heterosexuals seem to believe marriage is just plain old fashion…and seems to have very much fallen by the wayside. They believe that marriage is not the thing to do. And particularly not right now. Maybe later…but not right now.
Why would you want to think that?
It is not logical. As though you believe you will always look as good or great as you do now…or always be healthy.
However, they want all the benefits of marriage. Like getting up every morning with somebody laid up beside them. And not be ready for any of the commitments.
I, however, could not imagine anything more beautiful. I can just see the look in Adam’s eyes as he gazed upon Eve and spoke these words.
“…bones of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman…” His woman, Eve. Shakesphere could not have said it better.
The thought that Adam came into the world as a man.
Can you imagine that?
Adam was never a little boy. That is a fascinating thought.
Now, let me go back to my actual thought.
There is something about having that paper that not having it just cannot do. or replace. For one thing it can protect you and entitle you to things that you would not be entitled to without becoming married. Certain benefits like medical coverage, retirement benefits, military compensations etc. all go along with being married to someone who is entitled to them…not to mention their social security benefits and medical benefits.
Secondly, say you both should live a very long time and one of you dies…well, I have seen how families can just come in and take over everything and shove the survivor out of the property and everything else. (This is one of the biggest reasons why most gays want to get married because they acquire so much together. Some even have businesses and large property holdings etc.)
But even more importantly…it is just the right thing to do. If you love someone marry her or him. Do it the right way…and don’t do it because of the sex or because you want to lock somebody down…or box them in. Do it for love.
You can’t fault people for falling in love. It may not be your choice but at least for one thing…they are eagerly running to the altar. Can’t say that about heterosexuals, or non-gays…or however or whatever you want to say it.
I think the focus should come off of the gay community and get on why aren’t the heterosexual or straight people marrying? That to me is a greater issue and one we might be able to fix. But we must first find out why marriage isn’t the in-thing to do any more? Or why marriage is no longer anticipated institution which it once was…and still should be?
Has the institution of marriage been so tarnished that many people simply just perfer to lay around and jump from bed to bed?
What happened to giving your children some real foundation? Like having both a mother and a father, married to one another and living together caring for their children. I wonder just how many of those 17 girls who made that pact in Massachusetts came from families that had both a mother and father under the same roof, living as man and wife?
Talk about those 17 girls who made that pact…they were thinking about as clear headed as many older women think that they are. Many women lack any type of understanding or vision toward their futures. This is prinary reason why some women when they get older start to begin to feel desparate. They have played around all of their lives…and then they hit 40 or 50…and now any old thang will do. They just want to get married. They are desparate to get married…and they settle for any ol’ thang they can find. What a mistake. And it is so sad.
Why wait until you are nearly dead to consider marriage?
Well, happy Gay Pride and Black Music Month. To all my sisthas and brothers enjoy Sunday in the City and be safe. In your times of trouble remember you can always call upon the Lord. And when you get to Fire Island take a dip for me.
Love you all. Holla. …and God bless…
“He is the answer…oh, yes He is.” ©2008
Add a comment June 26, 2008