Posts filed under: ‘Sex Education‘
His name is B. Scott and he classifies himself as being androgynous… kind like what Michael wanted to be… somewhere between being male and female.
I have seen few people who have pretended to be as happy as B. Scott pretends like he is. When I was in ‘the life’ I thought I was happy too. But I never pretended like I was over joyed with it. Over a period of time I just came to accept it… which I guess if you finally settle upon ‘this is who I am’ you tend to do. You just start to kind of accept it. Which is what B. Scott said he finally came to do.
Though I have seen thousands of gay guys and women who acted like they were super dupper happy being gay. I had also seen them …many of them in the tears because they wished they could be like everyone else.
When I watched this video on YouTube by B. Scott… the 1 below… it really prompted me to write this blog. Because there were a few things that he said that really gave me insight as to who he is… and why.
(I’ve got to find the right video) But in the YouTube video B. tells of how people used to say to him when he was a little boy, ‘You so pretty you should have been born a girl.’
In hearing that it made me think of my son, who at the age of 13… 1 day broke down and started crying saying to me that I would never be a grandmother. Then he said that he must be ‘gay’ because everyone told he that.
How could I defeat what he was saying?
At the time I was not saved. I was speechless and did not know what to say. I was shocked.
I must confess to being 1 of those gay mothers who was seriously homophobic… terribly. But I never pushed my thoughts nor my fears over onto my son. Well, I hope not… certainly never intentionally. But there was a period in my life when he could nothing right. I hollered at him about everything. I did not realize that I was doing that though until a woman who was part of my film shoot on my short film… a niece to Florida of ‘Good Times’… pointed it out to me and talked to me about it. She said, ‘Why are you always yelling at him?’
I never realized that I did. But I am glad she brought it to my attention. I might have drove my son away… but thank God that did not happened. That big headed boy took me out to dinner last night… to very expensive sea food restaurant that we both like. But I do not love him because he treats me to thing… or buys me stuff… I love him because he is ‘my son.’ And I thank God for him.
I had never heard anyone call him that… that word… ‘gay.’ Though I think they were careful not to do so while I was around… as I would not have liked it. Though I must say that at an early age I started to feel like I was seeing certain signs of it. But here is where I want to tell you how the devil works.
You are not seeing anything that the devil has not put in your mind. Your young children know nothing about sex… but the devil will toy with your brain and make you believe you are seeing things which are not there.
You don’t believe me????
Let me share with you this. One night while in my apartment in downtown Brooklyn…. as I was leaving the living room to go towards my bedroom I looked down at the floor. Upon looking down I saw the floor was covered with large water bugs everywhere. I mean swarming with them everywhere. I quickly looked up and said to myself, ‘the devil is a liar.’
I don’t know where that came from… but that is what I said. Then I looked back down at the floor and there were no water bugs anywhere. It had all been a figment of my imagination… brought about from the devil knowing that I had a fear of those things. Which came about by the fact that occasionally I would see a water bug in my apartment… something that my landlord refused to believe.
But that night the devil had decided that he was going to drive me mad… meaning crazy by presenting to me a ton of those horrible things crawling all over my apartment floor around me… and they covered my entire apartment floor. But I did not go crazy. God kept my mind… because He did not let me fall for it. I merely shut my eyes for whatever reason… (as I did not know it was God’s doing at the time)… I just started believing that they were not there. You would have had to seen them. They were so real.
This is how I know that people can see things… which look as real as anything you can touch or feel… and it not really be there. It was just something that the devil presented to me… and had made it appear real to me because he knew I was afraid of those things. Of which New York seems to me have quite a few of them.
The woman in the above link killed her 4 year old son because she believed he was gay. The devil truly had her mind that she would have done such an insane thing. But he does and can plants seeds in your head… and make you see and hear things which are not really there. And if you are not careful… and you let them take root in you… you will believe what the devil has planted and will act out in whatever way he wants you to.
What does having a jump rope in your hand have to do with being gay?
So, what if a little boy wants to jump rope. It does not mean he wants to grow long hair and become a girl.
But my friend did not realize that she was planting seeds… that 1 day would grown into just what she was asking for.
I had wanted to badly to tell her that what she and other members in her family were doing to him in regards to calling her grandson a ‘girl’… or saying to him had some ‘girl in him’ was wrong. But I knew they would not listen to me… so I did not. But now in hindsight I realized I should have tried …if for no other reason other than for her grandson’s sake.
We must speak LIFE to your children. And do not let anyone speak DEATH to them… not even in joking. Calling your boy child a girl is speaking death to him… or your girl child a boy. Don’t do it. Encourage them to have fun… let them enjoy themselves as children without you putting all your own sexual hangups upon them.
So, when I watched and listened to the above video of B. Scott I realized just how he had come to be and why. I understand him… not so much because of what my son had said to me. But because I understand how little children can become confused as to who they are if people keep pushing them in some other direction by saying ignorant things to them that makes them believe what people are saying about them. And I guess that does kind of fit directly with what my son had said to me.
My entrance into ‘the life’ was very different… it had nothing to do with anyone calling me a ‘boy.’ Because frankly I never looked like 1… nor did I ever want to be 1. Though I wasn’t much of a baby doll playing little girl either. I don’t think I tried climbing trees… but I did try my hand at trying to fix a couple of things when I was young.
But being the oldest my youth was superseded by my having to learn how to do things at an early age… like washing dishes. I do not know how old I was when my father pushed a chair up to the kitchen sink… but that was the beginning of my years of me being our family dishwasher. Then I was taught how to cook… and the list goes on and on…
I was introduced to sex at a very early age. Not via any family members but outside of our home. Only twice had it happened. But it happened before I had a voice or knew I had a voice or any idea of what was happening. That is not to say I was an infant. I was just a very young innocent child of maybe 6…7… or 8. And the 2 times it happened they happened at varying times… not close or together. Maybe a year or so apart… can’t remember that part.
I made mention on 1 of the times in 1 of my other blogs not so long ago. It was a time that I almost got gang raped… but God said ‘no.’ That was the first time that someone took advantage of me. But those 2 experiences marked my life forever… and how I think and feel about people who take advantage or abuse children.
But contrary to what many people may say or think… sexual preference many times may not have anything to do with what you were indoctrinated to… or let me say it this way first introduced to sexually.
Though I have spoken to many gay guys and they had the opposite experience… and some women too. It did lead them into a life of homosexuality. And a lot of times it happened to them with someone who took advantage of them sitting in some position in the church… lived in their apartment building… was a close friend to their mother or father… and ‘yes’ even sometimes it was a relative… or a daughter or a son of the 1 their parent’s friend. One of my times was such a case as that. My mother must have known… as she never went to visit that friend ever again.
But going back to this guy B. Scott in watching his videos I felt sorry for him… because I understood him in ways that many people will never get to. And I also recognized his gaiety… or supposed happiness… really to be his sadness.
Love you, B. Scott. And hoping that 1 day God will do a work in your life like he did in mine. I hope the same for my son…. and the many sons and daughters dealing with identity problems… issues… or sexual confusion.
And I hope your laughter and smiles will become ‘real’… and turn into a joy that surpasses all understanding 1 day.
And that 1 day you will look into a mirror and see how really handsome you are… and start loving the ‘real’ you’ and not that the ones who were agents of devil told you were… but who God really made you to be.
Well, God bless…. I am really supposed to be doing something else right now. But I just wanted to take the time to do this blog really quickly. I hope that it falls upon fertile ground…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
Add a comment April 17, 2014
When I first stepped outside yesterday the sun was shinning, and all was well. But while standing at the bus stop the skies suddenly turned dark…and shortly thereafter came 1 little sprinkle followed by another. And before long it was all over I was soaked, and the bus was nowhere in sight.
Today, while riding on the bus…which is why this month I decided to buy me a bus pass since my son started complaining about me using his car. It is just as well…I really don’t mind…though the buses are a bit small and can be not as clean as I would always like. But I got tired to listening to my son sounding as though I’ve been taking advantage of him. So, I bought me a bus pass…now nobody can complain.
But while riding the bus today I overheard a woman say-
“They got 2 feet of snow today.”
I do not know who they were…or where they was. But I do know that that sounds bad for us.
Yes, it sounds very bad for us. Because I know that the snow is on its way here too. There is no getting around it. Plus, it is cold. And cold enough now to go back to wearing our winter coats.
It is hard to believe that just a few days ago it was in the 90’s. But that is gone now…and been gone now for more than a week.
But least ways when I went away for the weekend this time…I didn’t come back to any frozen water pipes, and water all over the place. And I didn’t have to worry about the cat being left in a cold house due to our furnace still being out. But if all things work out this summer my winter will be very different come October, November, December etc…etc…of this year. Yes…very very different.
So, we were on the road again this pass weekend, and needless to say we had to travel through some rain. But it was beautiful nonetheless. And one of the best parts is…is that while on the road we saw no accidents.
I now have grown to not only pray that we travel safely but also everybody on the road with us does too. And though I never thought of it before…it does indeed make a lot of sense to do so.
Just think about that.
What else did I want to talk about?
I just do not know.
I was awaken from my sleep early yesterday morning. It was one of the church ladies calling me. She had called me saying-
“We lost Deek last night at about 11:30.”
I had gotten into the city late and had found a great parking spot not too far from their apartment building. My plan was to get up early…about 4 or 5 AM and move my car as I knew that the Marathon went right pass their building. But when I went out to move my car early that morning…it was gone. And all I could think about was the New York City Towing Hell that I was bound to be in due to getting towed.
First of all, the car was a rental and that was a problem right there. Since, when they tow in New York they want you to submit papers on the car…all of which were inside the car. Since we didn’t own the car…it meant that they were going to send me to the rental place to have them give me documentation on the car and that I was going to have to be the valid driver. Of which I was not…since my son had rented the car for me. And he, of course, was hundreds of miles away back home.
So, this meant trouble. I could hear my son talking to me as I stared at the spot where the rental car had been parked. And I dredded calling him.
Because it meant that he was going to have to get up, get dress and now drive in to New York City…something that I knew he was not going to want to do. And certainly was something that he wasn’t going to be happy of doing it either.
So, I put in the call. He didn’t answer. And I took a deep breath of relief…it was after all now just about all of 4:30 in morning.
The street was clear…no cars anywhere. But the roadway was filled with squad cars riding up the avenues and crossroads making sure everything had been towed. Turing I went back into the building feeling that I was in for it now…and wondering how much all of this was going to cost me?
By the time I got back upstairs and explained the situation to Deek and his wife…he ask me-
“Did you go and look on the other streets?”
That was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard.
Why would I go walking around to look for my car when it was obvious that it had been towed?
And all I could think about was how mad my son was going to be hearing this.
So, I finally decided to go back downstairs to try and find out where they had towed it to. And get directions to get there.
Why would they pick up my car to tow it just to set it back down somewhere else outside of a car bound?
Was what I kept thinking in my mind. When they tow your car in New York City…you are in big trouble. And you better have cash…if you want any hope of getting your car back.
Downstairs I walked out to the street and flagged down one of the police squad cars to asked them about my car being towed. And they directed me to call the precinct. And when I did it was just like Deek had said.
We laugh about it now. I have to smile every time I think of it. It makes me think of wisdom every time…this story…and those of us who lack it. We don’t even have good enough sense to know wisdom when we hear it. We pass it up thinking that it is foolishness. That is what I thought Deek was telling me…foolishness when he kept saying that I needed to walk around looking for my car.
He had wisdom over a situation which I thought I knew everything…after having been towed more that a few times in New York. Sometimes we can be so foolish because we think that older people don’t know nothing. That they are off the mark…far removed from things…and even at times lack real understanding of things…or knowledge of things. But nothing can be further from the truth.
Oftentimes given a chance their wisdom far exceeds any mere thoughts we could have on the matter. As such was this case.
To me it sounded ludacris that my rental car was picked up to clear the roadway for the Marathon runners only to have the City of New York without any profit to themselves re-assign me another parking space. But that is just what they did…and Deek knew it. While during the whole time I refused to pay him any attention. And you know…he never held that against me.
Even that shows great wisdom. How many people would have been mad…or become upset because you discounted their suggestions or ideas?
So many older people get kicked to the curb and totally disregarded simply because they are older. People refuse to believe that they have anything legitimate to offer…all because they are aged. But age breeds wisdom. It brings about a plethora of experiences and knowledge. A richness that we just should not pass up…or so freely let get away from us because we lack the wisdom to see just how valuable they are to us.
While on the road we caught the news over the radio that the President and First Lady, Obama and Michelle were taking a little weekend-get-away together. I grinned and my sister turned to me smiling saying-
“I love them.”
And I just loved hearing that they stopped and got some ribs.
I just happened not long ago to come across this story listed below.
And if you took the time to read it then you realize that the story is about some black man who purposely passed the HIV/AIDS virus to 13 women. And that there seems to be a debate about what should be done with him.
What are they debating?
The guy should clearly be thrown into prison and never released ever again.
AIDS kills…and not everybody has the resources of a Magic Johnson to sustain them and their medical needs. The medication for AIDS treatment is not only very costly but they have to take tons of different types of medicine. I will never forget all the pills my cousin Vincent had to take daily. And I have seen what that type of death looks like…and it is not pretty.
I have seen youth turn into the very old…go from being very fit and carefree to bent over and broken, with all types of medical problems and conditions that most of us never have to think about because our system works fighting off everything and anything that might try to invade our bodies. But their system does not…it can’t.
I saw a 34 year old man turn into an old man before very my eyes. He could barely operate his hands, walk or hear well. Vincent became old…a senior man at 34 years of age. Had I not seen it I would have not known anything about AIDS…but I saw how it ravaged his body and stole his youth and everything else from hm.
No one should be allowed to purposely inflict that disease upon anyone. Such a person is quilty of murder. And clearly after reading what his mother had to say…I can see why he is the person he came to be.
When I was teaching…I recall one day that 1 of my student’s mother came to school to pay me a visit. Upon meeting my student’s mother I realized why I had the problems I had with her daughter. Or perhaps I should say…why she was having the problems that she was having with me. Because in my class I do not have problems with students…but there had been some students who may of have had a problem or 2 with me.
This girl’s mother came to my class and she…her mother…had to have been an utter embarrassment to her daughter. The woman was very un-rulely and out of order….but at the end some of my students while handing in their work gave me their take on it that situation. And you know what they said?
“I had my money on you.”
I think that that girl’s mother thought that I was going to back down or become intimidated. But that was far from the case…though she did everything she could to get me to be so. Needless to say that mother never visited me again…and I don’t think I ever had any more problems out of her daughter.
But when her mother came to my class I could see why the girl was like she was. She was very much like her mother. But in my class and classes I lived by one motto-
“It was going to be either them or me.”
And I made up my mind early that it was always going to be me. I was going to be the one in charge and who ruled my classes…and not my students or any one student over me. No…and that went doublely for mothers.
Well, because of their mothers.
The weight and impact of ‘mother’ upon the lives of her children or child is great. It can either enable them or aid in making them become strong, fully thinking and functioning adults with high hopes of success in their lives.
Clearly, anyone wishing to get back at women or others because they have contracted AIDS is a person not willing to take their own personal responsibility in the matter. There are so many people who go around blaming others for everything wrong in their life.
It would seem to me…not that I know a whole lot on this subject…but knowing that so much is out there besides AIDS, that it just makes sense to use good common sense and judgment. Personally, I am an advocate of abstining…but if you love sex that much that you can’t protect yourself then why blame anyone else?
I knew that there was something that I wanted to write about. And now I have found it.
Can you imagine that…the possibility of possibly really finding Noah’s Ark?
It might just be some large ship that became ship wrecked many years ago. I doubt that Noah’s Ark will ever be found. It is not that I doubt the story…but what purpose would it serve God for Noah’s Ark to be found?
None. So, therefore, God would not leave it around to be uncovered several thousands of years later.
But it does make for an interesting story though doesn’t it?
And before I close I have to mention this. Perhaps my son has been so mad at me over his car because I never stop for gas. And it was until we hit the road that I realized that the gas prices had gone up so much. It was costing $4 plus in New York. Mannnnnn……
And you know what?
Well, enjoy your day…and night.
And God bless….
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…
3 comments April 29, 2010
No consideration to his state…but only to his will to do what he wants. And undoubtedly he is hoping that other governors will follow suit.
But let us examine the state allocations of the Obama stimulus plan…
1. $53.6 billion to help state budgets
2. with 82% to be used for public schools and colleges
3. and 18% on public safety and other government services
So, what is the problem?
I do not see anything wrong with that. It is putting the money in some areas where it is definitely needed to be placed. Schools everywhere are suffering…the state infrastructure…okay.
But the South Carolina Governor wants to take South Carolina’s share of the stimulus and pay down South Carolina’s debt rather than taking the money allocated by the federal government…earmarked for health care, jobs and schools. For which he is playing politics…saying if he can’t do with the money as he wants he will decline to accept it at all.
Talk about cutting off the nose of South Carolina in spite of its face. Perhaps, if it were his personal nose the Governor of South Carolina would not be so quick to say ‘no’ to those funds.
The Democratic National Committee in an effort to inform the good people of South Carolina about the deed of their dearly beloveth Governor…began running ads on the matter. For which the Republican governor called ‘foul’…saying that he thought the Obama Administration was not going to play politics as usual.
Those Republicans can always think of things when it suits their own purposes. Those people in South Carolina deserve to know the kind of fool they have running their state…and it is about time that Democrats have started standing up.
I sincerely applaud the Obama Administration concerning the matter…and taking their stance on the matter of not allowing anyone to bully them. It is about time some Democrats with backbone finally got into some positions of real power…and used it.
In Willamina, Oregon, the school board is planning of distributing birth control pills to the teens in their high school. Following what they call an outbreak in the increase of pregnancy in Willamina. With fewer than 300 students in their high school system…they had 5 senior girls who gave birth to babies this year with another 9 girls on their way to the maternity ward. So, feeling helpless and lost in a vote of 2-2 the school board was split on whether or not to start passing out birth control pills.
This to me is tantamount to an ostrich putting its head into the ground.
Now, not only an urban problem…the problem of teenage pregnancy is hitting the white suburbs with a bang. After all…remember Sarah Palin and her 17 year old daughter…all the way up there in Alaska…facing the same issue. When this issue was one confronting poor people…and mostly non-whites…the issue was lightly overlooked…much like the issue of drugs and AIDS used to be…in the beginning…when it only affected the ‘thems’…’those people over there…in the ghetto.’
It seems that when certain issues only affect certain people…nearly everybody in this country finds little effort in turning a blind eye to it and on them…just as long as those issues continue impacting certain people. But like those teens in Massachusetts who made the pact to get pregnant…as if having a baby is a game…which sparked momentary conversations but that was it…don’t let it start hitting them.
The lily white areas of Oregon now too?
And evidently…Alaska as well.
Well, now…now…now something really must be done…now.
Today is the 6th anniversary of the Iraq War.
Thank God…for a change.
What in this world has changed for the better since Bush and his friends decided they were going to strike Iraq?
In fact, things have gotten worst…and in a big way. Everything is costing us far more today than what it did 6 years ago. Many people have lost a son or daughter, niece or nephew…or grand child due to a senseless war that has accomplished nothing but caused more problems…hardships…pain…and hurt in the lives of people around this world…not just here in America.
Well, here is a story for you. This story below is worth reading for all of those starving for love…but looking in all the wrong places.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on “
Add a comment March 16, 2009
Got up very early again this morning…but I was not nearly as productive as I had been on Saturday. In fact, I got up going to the bathroom and then stopped to read a chapter in my Bible…and then returned to bed.
I spent the past couple of nights sweating out my cold…of course, I can certainly see a vast difference. Been drinking plenty of fluids too…and also been making sure I take my iron tablets. Got to thicken up my blood…which is why I am also enjoying my Cream of Wheat. I am working on my 2nd box of it now…and still enjoying every minute of it. And as I do…it makes me think of how my father used to make it for us as children.
Mondays was our father’s day to care for us. As he was a barber…Sundays and Mondays were his 2 days off. I do not know how they worked out their schedules…but my mother and father did have it worked out as we were never left in the care of other people.
Daddy worked days and mommy worked nights. She worked at a state institution as a nurse supervisor…as I had previously stated in another one of my blogs…my mother had been the first black nurse in the little southern town where I was born.
Everything my parents did centered around us…their children. When they bought their first house…it was less than a block away from the little grade school that most of us went to…there was a bakery at the corner…a drug store…a small corner grocery store and deli…a bus stop…and we were only three houses in from the corner of a main roadway. Not to mention as I see by the city records today…they had bought the largest parcel of land of any 2 family house within our block. They were wise. And on top of all of that…there is a college right across the street.
So, when I eat Cream of Wheat it takes me back to those days…when daddy used to make it for us on cold mornings just as were going off to school. Some mornings he would fry us this thing called festival by some Jamaicans…or fried dumplings. He could really make those things…no matter what you call them. And we loved them…we filled them up hot out of the pan with plenty of butter and jelly…or some times with lots of syrup and butter…but they were good…always. But daddy was a great cook…and for that matter…so was our mother.
I am watching the snow fall down…and it is steady. It had been rain. It had rained straight through the night…and hard. Had all that rain been snow we would have been buried up under it right now. And that rain had been steady right up to the time it just turned to snow not so long ago. Now it is just a steady flow of un-yielding snow. I will soon have to go out and start shoveling…cold or no cold. But I am not going to complain…it is still beautiful.
I remember my friend in New York…the elderly woman, the church mother, who used to go to our church who passed this past August. You know I had never realized until some time later that she had passed on my mother’s birth date. And last night as I was thinking of her…my friend…it also dawned on me that when I had gone to the hospital to visit her…that the floor I had to switch from elevator to elevator on…had the same name as our street…the street that my parent’s house in on.
It is not a common name…and you do not see it everywhere. I thought that to be divine providence…you know…God’s working in the matter. I was very blessed to have had her…to have met her…and that she counted me as a friend. Her guidance to me shall forever be treasured.
In reading the article on religion…it is odd to me that a country founded on the freedom to practice religious beliefs would today be shifting away from having religion at all. But these days were bound to come.
When you reflect back on the years following 1962 when the push began to remove prayer from public schools…then anything bearing the word “God”…the challenge to remove the 10 Commandments from court houses and so forth…then this really should be of no surprise.
I don’t know…perhaps it is just me. But where were all those anti-gay marriage people…and anti-abortion people when all of this was going on?
Droves of anti-gay marriage people come out picketing and marching…and demonstrating…against something which does not affect them…and will never affect them. But when something like taking prayer out the public school system…removal of the 10 Commandments from the court houses and other federal buildings…removing the words “In God we trust” off of our U.S. currency…comes up…where are these people?
Prayer was taken out of our school and replaced by sex education…and condoms. The kids today in school learn less about their A-B-C’s, Math, Sciences etc…than they are about condoms and the ‘birds and the bees.’
Kids do not need to learn anything about sex. Nature through all her infinite wisdom and years of expertise in that department has not needed any help…from the day that Adam and Eve ate that fruit from that tree. There does not seem to be one time in history that men and women did not know how to get together to procreate. And now it seems…little kids too. And I won’t blame it all on sex-education…because that would be foolish and quite absurb of me. But I do not see where educating kids about sex…does one thing to prepare them for their future in life.
But if they wanted to really to teach them something in regard to youth parenting…then maybe like those ‘Scared Straight’ programs they used to have years ago…perhaps they should take them to a welfare office where they get to meet and talk to some teenage mothers and see for themselves the pitfalls of pregnancy at young ages. There is nothing like a little one-on-one in reality in order to get the whole picture.
Or maybe…have them go do work study hours in places like a welfare office or WIC office aiding in in-take service…and they would truly learn a lot that just might give them a reason to pause and to think twice about the consequences of childhood pregnancy.
As I sit here watching the snow…I have been thinking about this guy…this man. I had met him at an event that I gave a few years ago. So, whenever he sees me…he likes to greet me.
Which is fine…I have no problem with that. It is something I became accustom to through my years in radio. Everybody wants to grab you…hug you…kiss you on the cheek. Okay…so, allow it. It is part of the territory…it goes with the turf when you become popular.
But this guy one day while I was in the library computer lab at school saw me…and he came greeting me…kissing me on the top of my head. Okay…fine. I did not say anything about it…but it was on my mind.
But the other day while I was waiting in a bank line…he happened to be passing by and saw me. My back was to the bank door…and he came up behind me. He said something to me grinning…and then kissed me to the back of my neck. I thought nothing of it at first…but later as I got into my son’s truck…in which sat a friend of his whom I was giving a ride to…that is when it hit me.
That guy had kissed me to the back of my neck.
I am very picky. Peculiar…you might even say. I really do not like people getting too familiar with me…and particularly people who I do not really know. And besides…he was not even good-looking. And even if he was…he still out of order…and I am still picky.
After all, this guy started out by sort of hugging me. Then he moved on to greeting me with a light kiss to a cheek…then to the top of my head. And I really should have stopped him then. So, I put it in my mind that the next time I saw that guy I would have to tell him that he could not touch me again.
That time came shortly…while I was once again in the library computer lab. As he approached me…he bent with his arms open ready to embrace me…and I guess kiss me again. But I happened to catch him…right on time…and drew away from him.
I stopped him saying-
“Listen, shake my hand if you want to greet me. But do not kiss me.”
He looked at me oddly.
So, I began to remind him about that day in the bank when he had come in and kissed me on my neck. I told him that anyone seeing that would have thought that we had a relationship and were involved with each other. Then I asked him what he would have thought if he had been standing off somewhere in the distance and happened to see a man kiss me on my neck.
And you know what he said?
“I would have thought that you were involved with each other too.”
“Look, I am a woman of God. I cannot just have people walking up to me and kissing me all over the place like that. Plus that is disrespectful of me for you to do that. You should have more respect of me to even do anything like that.”
Wow, I have truly grown. I am a woman.
Gone are the days when I was a child…and people could do anything to me…or with me.
I have control over me.
And I am not having it.
You will respect me.
Wow… I am woman.
That guy apologized to me…and thanked me for correcting him. I appreciated him accepting my correction. Yet…I felt within myself that it should not have been warranted that I should have had to do such a thing. But men have a way…of taking things for granted…and particularly women.
I felt that many times while working in radio. I hated when my bosses called me ‘sweetheart,’ and ‘dear.’ It was very demeaning to me…while they never greeted each other in such a way…or spoke to each other in such familiar terms. Consciously , sub-consciously or unconsciously…such things historically have been designed to keep women in their place.
When I was a child…I was powerless. When I worked in radio…I had limited power. Today I am my own boss…I wheel power as I may…but yet…I measure it. As I know I can be highly intimidating to some.
But this may come as a surprise to some of you. But I have never been kissed. Not by the male species.
I know I have a son…but that does not mean that I allowed that man to kiss me. And I know that I said in my other blog…that Willis Kattrell…well, he kissed me. And he did. But I think my head was in motion when he did it…so he only caught a portion of my lips. To the side really…of my mouth.
So, I have never been kissed. Not really…though yes many women have kissed me…and I them. But the male species…no.
I never had a boyfriend…and have never dated men.
I am different… Not like most people. And my experiences have been different.
Yet, I am a mother. And I have a fantastically wonderful son. I treasure and love him very much. He too is…different.
This is how I know of generational curses. It was in my mother’s family. And I do realize…that generational curses can be broken. I bear witness to it.
I love the change in my life and look forward to my tomorrow. Perhaps…my husband. I now wish I had had other children. My son often had spoken of it…and still does.
There is this funny thing about me. After having been sexually abused at a very early age…perhaps before or by the age of 10…only twice and by 2 different men…but sometime thereafter, I decided that I wanted to save myself for my husband. I thought I wanted to live in a big house with a white picket fence…with a 2 car gargage…and have all the children that I could have. So, that is what I did…I decided to save myself…and that is what I did.
From the point of whatever age it was…10 maybe less…the last time someone had taken sexual advantage of me…I never became engaged again sexually until some time when I was 25 years of age. At this point…I was only interested in woman. And not just any woman. Gay women…women like me. Women who were upper-wardly mobile and doing something with their lives…professional women mostly in media…though some were doctors, accountants etc…but talented…beautiful…well educated women…who looked and acted womanly.
Not all women who are gay…look it. In fact…many do not. The same is true of men…though the reverse thinking about gays is the myth.
I have no idea as to why I have begun to disclose so much to you…about myself. I shall have to pounder it.
Ahhh…yes… The point.
So, I decided to save myself. Well, at that point I could no longer save certain things as they had been stripped from me. My innocence had been stolen from me. But somehow throughout all the years one thing has remained…my kisses. So, since I have never kissed the male species…or allowed anyone of that species to kiss me directly on the lips…I decided to save it.
I am saving it for my husband…it is the least that I can give him. Unpolluted…un-tampered with…safe within my power…to give…or not to give. So, I am saving it for him. So, no I am not going to let somebody just walk up to me…or sneak up from behind me…and think that he can just come and steal it away from me…not that too. Except for…of course…er, uhm…if his name is Willis Kattrell. (you have just got to read that blog)
And let me just say…that I am still scrubbing my neck today…everytime I step into the shower…I am trying to remove the memory of that man’s lips to the back of my neck.
Well, the snow is slowing up now. And the kids are on their way home from school. I better get out and start shoveling. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Didn’t like the VOGUE cover of Michelle Obama at all…just goes to prove that nobody can do us better than us. Thank God for Essence, Ebony, Jet, VIB, Right-On, Black Enterprise…and everything
else we have today.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on “ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment March 9, 2009
These young girls are receiving all the wrong messages and there is little being said about it. And forget…about ‘being done about it.’ Bcause that isn’t happening either.
The teen pact in Massachusetts was a shocker and should have created far more than just a wake-up call. It should have had people rolling out of their beds onto the floor and leaping up yelling-
“We’ve got to do something about this.”
But it did not. It was merely a hot topic for the moment…and then it was gone off the horizon.
What has since been done?
What heighten interest in this topic has been generated?
How many encounter groups have been formed to sincerely meet this problem head-on?
Where is the concern on this topic?
Teen sexual habits as they are today are highly serious problems. There is more at stake than a boy and girl getting together sexually. The problem is bigger than that and no one is really or sincerely looking into this problem. The issues and the impact are huge.
There are health issues involved…all kinds of dieases…many of which are life long. But this problem is also going to put millions more on the welfare rows.
Under age girls becoming mothers does impact us all and it should be all of our concerns. It is a moral issue…but it is even greater than that. And this concern is not only to what it will cost the states and eventually the federal government of this country, but there should also be a concern that these young girls are no more than mere kids themselves. Beyond a point the level of resentment does arise. And these kids have no knowledge that they are severely limiting their future life goals, expectations and levels of success…and choices in life.
While the kids are suppose to be busy going back and forth to school every day…they now have to balance their education with trying to parent babies or very young children. This can be a very daunting task for young parentsas babies and/or children take up a lot of time. It is even a very difficult task for the most grown-up adults to handle.
Children take time…and lots of it. They also require responsible and reasonable people in the care of them. Young girls under the age of 12 of even into their 20s or 30s many times are not ready for such a heavy responsibility nor the sacrafices that becoming a mother calls for.
Instead of chasing behind the gay population and trying to change them, and trying to get them to conform when laws are being created every day to encourage just the opposite…we should try working instead to make an impact in an area where we all have some level of control and a voice and that is among our children.
Oftentimes, the argument about education gets down to ‘the home’…well, this argument certainly is a ligitmate argument in this debate…as things in ‘the home’ can lead to effecting change.
Whether parents realize it or not…they can regulate their homes, the type of messages that their children are receiving, what is watched and listened to in ther homes…etc… But it is far more involved than just putting a chip in the cable system to block certain programming. It means getting your child’s face off myspace, out of facebook and whatever or wherever else it is…or whatever means they use to to make contact and meet people with whom they are enaging in sex…which on the face of it alone even sounds and looks wrong.
I personally don’t believe that anybody worth meeting is on the internet. You, if you are an adult, you should not indulged in it…and certainly your children should not. Yes, the internet has it values and good uses, but it also has a lot of risk factors…and safety issues when it comes to your children, teens…and even for older people who never learned that….yes, the world can be full of evil people who lie and try to sway you into dangerous places and situations. Predators are real…and none of you should have to find this out first hand.
But the kids are not alone when it comes to the internet. There are tons of grown up supposedly adult people who are doing the exact same thing. They have pages on myspace and pictures in facebook etc. And it is all wrong if you use it like a game of Russian roulette.
There is little wonder why the kids are in the situation that they are in if the adults are setting the examples or…and I hate to say this…or if the adults in their lives are following their examples…the kids examples in meeting people and becoming sexually involved with just anybody and everybody via the internet. Or even outside of meeting them over the internet.
What in the world is this world coming to?
What is the world is that?
There is too much tied in to sex…just the inter-personal nature of it alone. Call it what you want…but sex is not casual…it is just too intimate for that.
It is all wrong. WRONG….WRONG.
And of course, I know that the kids are hooking up at school too. Let’s face it now…even I at some point was a kid. But I never was stupid…and there is just no other way to say that. Nor was I…or have I ever been common.
There is something seriously wrong when a bunch of young girls are busy thinking more about getting pregnant than they are about the dress they plan of wearing to their class prom…or how they are going to get their mom to give them the money to go to movies next weekend.
There is something wrong when sex is the only thing on the fore-minds of young kids in school…more so than trying to study for an exam or thinking about their futures.
They do not care about an exam…or evidently their futures. No, they do not. Because if they did they wouldn’t be busy trying to get pregnant…or thinking about getting pregnant.
When I was growing up people tried hard to avoid getting pregnant. But then he standards of the day have been drastically lowered as opposed to those of yester-year. In fact, there are none…not today.
When did getting pregnant at a very early age become a badge of honor in this country?
And how can these kids be expected to do any better than the people they are watching and trying to emulate present these kinds of things to them day in and day out?
These kids are obsessed with images of the people they consider to be so-called stars. These so-called stars…they read about them, skim through the web to catch photos of…watch them in the movies or on television…and/or listen to on their iPods. And these people are their role models…whom they desire to emulate in every possible way…down to having babies by this one and by that one over there. And they never see a marriage ring or a wedding band.
That is the world our many of kids live in…and many adults, as well. That is why they can search facebook or myspace…and go from one person to the next. Because they live in a world of ‘no commitment.’ There parents are not committed to them. There teachers aren’t committed to them. Their schools aren’t committed to them…the government…society…nothing.
So, what do you expect…when a stranger over the internet shows them more interest than you do?
Even if it is for a hot minute. To them it beats none at all…no matter what they end up having to sacrifice.
Parents have got to invest time in…and quality time with their children. They need us to be concern about them…about their day…what’s going on with them…and the things we can help them with…as well as to encourage them…and, of course, to look out for their well being, as well as, protect them. There has to be quality time invested in your children’s lives all through their development…even into adulthood…if they allow you. And they will…if they trust you…but that trust is built up over time. That trust comes with involvement in their lives from the earliest stages of their lives straight throughout their developedment into adulthood.
It is time for America to not just take a serious look at this problem of teen and under age sex…but also to actively work to do something to cuve it. This tide must be stemmed because of the dire future consequences for America.
These young babies need to have a fighting chance at life. And they can’t do that by being born to people who are not mature enough to parent them properly.
The cost, to the system upon whom they will soon be imposing, should not become the driving force to make this country face this problem today.
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
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God bless…and thanks for reading ©2008
Add a comment November 19, 2008
The boy was talking to her like she was nothing but a tunnel down there…and you probably know where and what I am talking about.
Though she was none in the least embarrassed, I was embarrassed for her.
After thinking about it for a while, I now understand why.
Those very girls and boys which I had discussed in prior blogs “Teen Pregnancy Pact” etc…those are the same little boys and girls who were mothers and fathers in grade school. Well, maybe not exactly them…but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. They just didn’t get caught…meaning ‘they had not gotten pregnant.’
This girl whom the boy in the lab was talking to…well, they spoke so….so casual…ly. She to him and him to her. That one would have thought that such blatant and insulting conversation was the norm and alright.
And if any of you says it is…I will strongly beg to differ.
That young girl is an example of what is emerging out of the school system where kids get to talk about sex and act out in ways…which…which frankly should never be allowed.
No man should ever call a woman a tramp (even in an around about way…or in mild causual conversation)…unless he first stops acting as one himself. And even then it is not allowable.
And believe me…there was nothing ’round about’ in the way this boy was talking to that girl.
But why are women so degraded?
Why are we the ones ‘de-valued’?
The young girl would not be one among many of the campus whores…and I am very sorry to say that…and it really hurts me to have to call it as such…but it is true…if the male population were carrying themselves a lot better too.
You would have had to have heard the conversation to know what I am talking about. And for her to sit there talking with him as he laid out all her whorish shortcomings…espisode after episode…to her without so much as a grimace or a sidewise glance from her?
It was appalling.
This speaks volumes as to how far off the mark these young girls…young ladies…and yes…I guess….young women have fallen. They are far off course. And all the sex education in the world has done nothing for them…but allowed them to feel more and more like sexual objects. And very much for lack of saying it in any other way…and they “get down with that.”
For them it is okay. And even seems as though they enjoy it…being known as the ‘girl who will throwdown’ or ‘go down on anyone.’ UGH!!!!!
I wish someone would dare to talk to me as if I were common.
I am not common.
I am not going to be common.
Only to cast me off and turn me out to pasture like some old broken down nag.
And then have them laughing…and talking about me?
These young girls have no pride. And many older women do not either.
Maybe, it is that I think too much of myself?
But this thing is really ashame. And the problem is…is that the same standards are not allotted towards men. Throughout history the male speices if you will…has been given a free ride (excuse the pund) when it has come down to issues of morality. If this had not been the case and was not the case today there is a chance that this topic and the approaches to it would be different in our world today. But since the beginning of time for men in almost every country the standards have differed greatly from those applied towards women. Morality has never stretched both sides of the aisle.
However, this would not in any more way justify such talk…but it could create a level of standards on both party’s part. The boy in the lab, who was maybe all of 24, clearly didn’t see anything wrong in the behavior of either himself or any of his friends who were hopping on top of this girl. Nor did he think it disrespectful to her to speak so loudly so that the entire lab could hear that sickening conversation. And nor did she in her own ignorance care whether everyone heard.
But why should she be any more of a whore then they?
Are they not all engaged in the same thing?
Will there ever come a time again…when men protected women’s valor rather than trampled all over it?
Oh, yes…by the way…that conversation was not between a black male and black female student. As typically many people believe that only certain groups carry on in certain ways. This issue of sex…pre-martial sex…sex in grade school…etc…etc…is a very big issue…and it involves everybody.
I am appalled because I have young nieces and nephews coming up in a culture that believes everything is alright…as long as it feels good. Everything is not…alright. Whether it feels good…or not.
As old fashion as this may sound…what it really does boils down to just one plain thing…‘self-respect.’ I don’t know how many times I used to overhear older people say that when I was growing up…but not today. I haven’t heard it in years. But it is what we have to teach our children, nieces, nephews etc. They must learn how to respect themselves first. Then they will be able to ensure and enforce that respect among their friends and peers.
That may sound like a too simplified cure to such a big and overwhelming problem as responsible living and sex given todays sexual culture…but self-respect is the beginning root to a successful life. Without it how does one grow, accomplish or achieve anything in life?
Well, we are inching closer to the finish line…Election Night 2008. It will be a big and exciting night for many reason. May God bless America!
Even the little ones support Obama!
Even the little ones support Obama!
Even the little ones support Obama!
It gives me such hope for this country. It really does.
There is no country like this one.
There is no place at all…like the United States of America.
Through all her adversities, contradictions…missteps…and fall downs…American is great. And she is beautiful…though there have been times in her history when people, Presidents, groups didn’t always act justly, fairly or truthfully. But through it all she has maintained her beauty…and she is worth everything we can do to save her.
In closing…let me take this time to clarify once again…that Barack Obama is not just a phenomena because he is black.
No, it is far greater than that.
That is what America has much to be proud of…because he is a product of her. It has taken us much and a long time to get here. But we are here. And at the end of the day…it does matter. It really really does…for everyone’s sake.
Perhaps a decent wholesome Obama family in the White House is what this country is in dire need of to get her morally back on the right track, as well. The kids certainly need other role models other than the ones they follow in Hollywood and the Rapp world…and certainly other than the likes of a Britney Spears to pattern themselves behind.
Please be sure to share this blog site with all your friends…family…just….just….everyone!
Smile and have a beautiful day.
Have a beautiful day…and thank you for reading.
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
Smile and have a wonderful wonderful day. It’s nice out today. A bit cool…but yesterday we got lots of flurries….awhhhhhhh….
Please be sure to share this blog site with all your friends, family…just everyone…friends and woe. Thank you for reading.
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
God bless…and thanks for reading ©2008
Add a comment October 30, 2008
…well, maybe Joe the Plummer
Obama… 1. Always looked Presidential
2. Laid out his financial plan well
3. Never wined
4. Clearly cited his goals as President
5. Clearly defined his position on Supreme Court choices, abortion, importance of Education, reforming Health Insurance, future fuel advances…
6. Clearly defined political objectives as President of the United States
McCain… 1. Looked a bit more Presidential
3. Was a bit more forthcoming with future Presidential plans but never went far enough
4. Came off winny at times
5. Seemed to be more aggressive but yet would oftentimes end up on the defensive
6. At times got ruffled
Clearly a better debate as both candidates did get an equal chance to clearly define themselves and their future objectives as President of the United States. Though highly skilled and poised, Obama proved once again that McCain was no match against him. He was still able to fend off any attacks that McCain attempted to voice against him…and this he did with great eloquence.
Though McCain appeared a bit more Presidential than in the past debates…he still did not have what Obama had. Obama seemed far more engaging, he was not stiff or erect but leaned toward the moderator in a warmer friender kind of way. He also talked more directly to the American public but looking into the TV camera often particularly while delivering key points of his plans and also while trying to explain how his plans would work, and how they would effect the various groups. John McCain failed to do this.
In fact, John McCain had little full explanation for much of what he was talking about. He hedged questions such as how he would pick Supreme Court Judges by merely stating that he would not have a litmus them…while not saying anything about their ideologies. He seemed to purposely want to stay away from fully answering many questions fully.
Obama did exceedingly well in expressing his stance on abortion and a woman’s right to make her own choice. But what I liked most of all…was his opinion on teaching restraint and abstinence. Something I had not heard voiced by any candidate…….ever.
Again, while Obama seemed calm and collected…McCain seemed otherwise.
When questioned about their choices for Vice President…Obama gave a fair and forthright assessment of his choice of Joe Biden. But McCain fell short of saying that if anything should happened to him…as to whether or not he was confident that Sarah Palin was President material or would be able to handle the job. In contrast, Obama clearly stated that Joe Biden could do so and that he felt that Biden would see through all his of plans, as well.
If anyone was undecided…last night’s Presidential Debate should have certainly brought them closer to making a sound choice. And the format of both men sitting closer together…and near the moderator allowed for a far greater to really examine both men close up…and it also allowed them to speak more frankly and openly.
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God bless…and thanks for reading ©2008
1 comment October 16, 2008
The first thing they see wrong is…is that the problem is only a local one.
The second thing is…is that they believe it can be curved by a little more sex education and some more condoms.
Before sex education arrived in schools in America there was far less sex and pregnancy going on among teens in school.
This thing is at epidemic proportions. It is serious.
Today most high schools, and a lot of what used to be Jr. High Schools…called Middle Schools today…are also becoming highly populated with little mothers and dads roaming and running through their halls.
The problem…to you folks in Glouchester…is not more sex ed and condoms but teaching the kids how to abstain from having sex. You need to show how having a baby…and or children in their early years can really impact their future years. And then thirdly, rather than trying to make it easier on them by suppling them school day-care…you really need to let them struggle a bit with trying to get their child care arrangements and schedules together for themselves. You might just find that there won’t be so many of them so willing to make pacts or babies either.
The truth of the matter is…is that teen pregnancy is a major problem in this country and it does not seem to be getting any better. Clearly, it is an issue which sooner or later is going to have to be seriously addressed.
These kids have no idea how important these early years are for them. Not to mention for some of them they are making decisions which will clearly impact them and frame every important decision they will have to make for a very long time…and will certainly play a crucial role in most …if not all of the future decisions that they make.
Just the other day I found myself having to have a heart to heart discussion with one of my little nieces. She just recently entered into the 9th grade this year…and she seems to have a problem getting to school on time. I informed her that everything she is doing in school today is preping her for life after school. And that if she couldn’t get to school on time now…she wouldn’t be able to get to work later…nor to her classes once she got into college. Because what you practice now is important. But it also gets down to responsibility. I told her that it was her responsibility to ensure that she had success later on in her life by preparing for it now…it was her responsibility to get to school on time. I told her it was her responsibility to ensure herself of a successful future tomorrow…today. And that cannot be done by making a bunch of bad choices at very early ages.
Having children is no joke…and babies need responsible maturing people to handle the responsibilities that they bring. People who are capable of making real and intelligent decision in terms of their overall care and invest in who they become as people. No little grade school child can do that…as they are still babies themselves.
Speaking of abstinence…isn’t it something most of us practice everyday?
Who doesn’t want sex?
But we don’t run out like little dogs or cats…or any animals trying to get it. And if you do then you shouldn’t. The cost of indulging like that could cost you your life or a lifetime of certain types of medication…just watch the television commercials of people claiming to have this or that.
Over time we have all learned to become responsible. Some longer than most…and for me particularly so. But I am there…or should I say here now.
As adults we have all learned to control ourselves.
Okay…well, maybe some people haven’t.
But in the end saving yourself and waiting on the right person can go a really long way…towards how much you have left to pour into that real relationship that you had been hoping for…but were too busy chasing after all the wrong stuff.
I can’t imagine sharing myself with everybody. I have never let anybody just use me.
I don’t know. Maybe we should instill in our youth a sense of pride…maybe that is what they are lacking.
And I definitely hope you are registered…this upcoming Presidential Election is so important.
Please be sure to share this blog site with your friends.
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God bless…and thanks for reading ©2008
3 comments September 26, 2008
I had no idea that most of those 17 girls in Massachusetts who made that pact to get pregnant were all bascially about 15 years of age. I guess we could throw out a bunch of words like ‘young and stupid.’ But what would it do to call them stupid…it’s not like taking an exam and being able to cram to up your score. They can’t go back and undo it…not that they would consider such a thing because they viewed it as a game. Something they continued to indulge in until they got the outcome that they wanted. And that was to be impregnated.
In listening to the news segments you would think that this was an isolated thing (these 17 grade school girls making a pact to get pregnant). Oh, I am sure maybe the rest of the young girls haven’t made a pact…but they might as well have. When you can walk into any high school or middle school in America and find more than half of their population being young teenaged mothers and fathers…something is wrong. And it has been wrong for some time now…not just since hearing about this ‘so-called’ pact…and about those 17 deranged and highly mis-guided girls who for ‘ha-ha’s’ decided to make an ridiculous pact to get pregant.
There is an epidemic spreading across America called teen pregnancy. It is rampant and it is a huge issue that is not an enigma peculiar only to the Gloucester, MA, school system. This problem is in every high school and middle school in this country. I can say that because as a teacher in the public school system I had the opportunity to witness it first hand. And now that children are developing so rapidly and early in terms of their physical development this problem will soon undoubtedly hit the younger grades as well if we are not careful and begin to act now.
As quietly as it has been kept there have already been incidence’s of very young girls as young as 11 and 12 becoming pregnant and having babies.
How has this all come about?
By throwing open the flood gates of the sexual revolution and leaving it unmonitored we have done it.
We have allowed sex to become the societal norm and the barometer by which we measure who is or is not worth paying attention to. We have allowed it to set the standards and marks by which we live and/or fall.
Marriages fall apart when the sex life is gone. Priest have crossed lines drawn in the sand…which were supposedly indelible. Governors have vacated offices amidst scandal. Teachers have fallen by the wayside by daring to touch the forbidden. Presidents and elites…bad boys and bad girls dot the landscape from page to page.
Parent or stranger or care provider or television programmer who has shielded our children from the sexual storm?
Little wonder the kids frolick like rock stars from bed to bed. And those of us not living under the daze of sex…we have long turned a blind eye on the problem and have chosen to try and ignore it…as if it were not all around us.
Did we really have to hear about 17 high school girls making a pact to get pregnant to elicit a reaction from us to this problem?
It is an epidemic.
In most schools around this country we would be hard pressed if we could find 10 girls in a school building who were not indulging in some form of sex. Most girls and boys that line the upper level school hallways are mothers and fathers, and some of them second or third time around…and their numbers far exceed that of those students who are not. Vast number of students are having sex…it is a known fact of which the kids are not even ashamed to disclose or talk about openly amongst themselves…or others.
It was not until this very moment that I recall having a conversation about this time last year with a young lady who had graduated from high school already. She told me that she felt pressured to have a baby because all of her friends had babies. She went on to say that she felt that her friends were angry at her because she was not like them. Meaning she was not a mother. She was 21 years old and a friend of my son.
This is serious.
I looked at the girl (I was a bit stunned) and said, “If your friends are mad at you it’s because you don’t have to worry about getting a babysitter everytime you want to go somewhere. And they’re mad at how you can take your money and spend it on yourself and not have to worry about buying Pampers or baby formula. Believe me. They’re not mad at you. They are jealous of you.”
While watching a news segment about the Gloucester mess…the school district was trying to detemine how much more sex education they needed to throw at their problem of rising pregnances in their schools…a problem everywhere not just in Gloucester.
But the mere fact that the school officials in Gloucester believe that more sex education may be a cure all…signals that they clearly do not understand the breathe or depth of the problem and that the problem is much BIGGER than just their school system.
The problem of sex is a cultural problem which has taken a hold of the minds of our kids, children, young adults, middle-aged people, seniors etc. It has lead many kids to believe that they know everything there is about sex while possessing no real understanding of sex at all. If they understood then they would understand that sex is a gift…something special and it should be treated with the utmost respect and forbearance.
But what is our excuse?
Why do many adults have as much difficulty dealing with sex as the kids do…and some more so?
It is a question I cannot possibly answer when you talk about adults and sexuality. The answer can be as wide and as varied as the people themselves.
The primary root to this problem is that no one is going to hold them…the kids…or those 17 girls who made that idiotic pact accountable.
They are under age so, therefore, they are not responsible for their actions.
They weren’t fully aware of the consequences.
They just don’t understand.
We can come up with all the excuses…and as many as we want to. But somewhere along the way these kids are going to have to start accepting some accountability for their own actions and take responsibility for them. Without doing so they will continue to make one stupid mistake after another and never learn anything.
Those 17 girls purposedly went out and got themselves impregrnated. Mostly they were under aged girls seeking out men…based upon information in the news. The fathers of these babies and babies to be by these 17 girls were over the age of 20, with one of them being homeless and 24 years old…while most of these 17 girls were just 15 years old.
What level of sex education could have stopped these girls?
But for the kids it gets down to one major point….responsibility or the lack thereof.
And since being implemented into the curriculums in our school systems that is the problem…what has sex education done?
What level of success has sex education had?
Now more than ever before more and more teenage girls are becoming pregnant while still in grade school.
More and more little mothers and fathers occupy seats in our grade schools than ever have prior to the addition of sex education in the schools here in America.
There is no need for sex education in the schools because the vast majority of kids could teach the teachers a few things about sex…and some have. That is how versed they are on the subject. And they have and are learning it the old fashion way…by doing it and in record numbers.
There is so much sex going on in school that sex ed is more like child’s play to them…one big joke. The kids are doing it on the school buses, in the bathrooms, locker rooms, empty class rooms, broom closets, auditoriums…you name it. And if they can’t learn it amongst themselves…there are few good teachers and other faculty eager to give them a one on one.
WHAT ABOUT THOSE FATHERS?
Fresh on the heels of the R. Kelly trial outcome, the returning of those children to their Mormon families and hearing the story about the 17 girls who made the pact to get pregnant…not to mention that terribly distrubing story of the father who kept his own daughter locked down in a crawl space in his basement for 24 years while fathering her 7 or 8 children…
In this season of predatory extremes, 17 young girls entered into something that they may or may not have had the full and complete comprehension of the gravity of their actions…but certainly the men involved cannot say the same. They were not children, grade school or otherwise. But no matter how the opportunity availed itself upon them they should be prosecuted to the fullest letter of the law…without the strings and failures of the R. Kelly trial, who should have been locked away long ago…back when the story of him and Aaliyah first broke, when she was just a kid.
But so much for all of that heavy stuff…if we stayed immersed in the dark side of everything we would never see the sunny side of anything. And though I enjoy the rain, I also love looking up at big beautiful clouds on glorious summery days. Here’s a smile for you…and rain or shine it’s your day. Enjoy it. God bless… ©2008
2 comments June 25, 2008
One of the dumbest things I ever heard. A pregnancy pact???? 17 school girls????
Oh, that is what we always hear as if parents can really control what they teenagers…or smaller children are really doing. Most of them we don’t really even know. What kids show at home and what they do at school or in other public places when parents aren’t around are two different things.
The only way you can really combat this kind of thing is to train up your kids…I really hate that word…as if they were a bunch of baby goats…train up your children so that they possess their own minds and truly know the difference between right and wrong…and will deter from the wrong things in life. Now, that is hard…it really is hard as the core of it goes to who your children truly are as people.
Some children are naturally just not going to do certain things no matter how much other kids try to push them to do so. I was one those. Even as an adult, people would always be trying to get me to go against something that I just did not want to do. I don’t know how many people tried to encourage me to drink, smoke, have sex and get high…and most of the time most of those occasions were not even inter-related. But there was something in me…maybe it is just DNA…but I was different and no amount of peer-pressure could make me do most of those things. Though sometimes I would give in just a bit…and take a sip because they would keep pushing. But what was not for me was not for me…and beyond that tiny sip…that was it. No. And never again…and I meant it.
But today’s kids, children, teens, young-adults etc. are inundated by a plethora of influences that quite frankly pale to anything that came my way. With the main influence being sex and primarily sex before marriage and extremely early in age.
And it is really not their problem since we are really the culprits.
Having grown up in a time when sex was never spoken, never allowed to be alluded to in songs or seen on screen or tv…when we finally became of age and had the power to do so “we” unleashed the sexual revolution. “We” head the corporation smearing sex all over the place. “We” hire the models, write the copy, shoot the ads, pay the artist and determine who will or will not be the next super-star…not the kids…they just suck it up.
We have done it. We were the rebels who have set today’s trends by promoting, exploiting and setting the trends and styles that have imploded into today’s sexual revolution. “We” set in the forefront who the kids idolize and emulate. And “we” all may not have had a personal hand in it…but just how much have “we” done to stop it? Nothing.
So, now our kids are so bent out shape “we” don’t know what to do. It is as though Pandora’s Box has been opened and now there is no turning back or trying to strove all these ill’s we’ve unleashed back inside.
High schools and Jr. High schools (middle schools) are populated with little mothers and fathers walking through their hallways today. Kids who should have nothing more on their minds than tomorrow’s exam but today you find them having to rush home to breast feed their babies.
They have forsaken their innocents to dip and dap at something which they have no complete meaning or understanding of other than it feels good.
So, why should 17 highly foolish young girls in Massachusetts who make a pack to all get pregnant shock us so much when all they read in magazines or watch on tv are a bunch of people in Hollywood…mostly unmarried getting pregnant and glorifying motherhood and fatherhood…for as long as the cameras are shooting.
But they…the kids…they don’t know the reality. Those people they go goo-goo over…when the cameras go off they (those stars) turn around and hand their baby’s over to the nanny while they go off and hit Sunset Blvd. or Wilshire Blvd. partying into the wee hours of the morn.
So, who should “we” blame?
I have never been an advocate of Sex Education in the classroom…believe or not I once had the luxury of subbing a Sex Ed class once for high students. Take it from me they were leaps and bounds beyond me…but in terms of sex that’s not so hard to be. I was stunned really by the pictures in the book of the venereal diseases…they were more than enough to make anyone push back from the table. But I guess such pictures don’t have the same affect on the kids…because they still indulge as though none of this stuff is true.
But going back to my story…if you knew me…you would know that I would be the last person to put in a Sex Ed class to teach it. After all what do I know? Nothing. I will be the first to admit it…and probably not the only person to say it. Because I have friends who can attest to it. And that is exactly my point…who do they have teaching your kids this junk? They don’t have be certified to teach Sex Ed. It is usually tied to what used to be Home Economic Class…you do remember those classes don’t you? Where they taught you how to sew and cook. Well, do you remember your Home Economics teacher? Is that really the person you want teaching your child sex????
Now, here is why I have never been big on Sex Ed in school…or anywhere else really…I mean really…who is teaching the animals? Some of this stuff is just natural. But anyways, I do believe in abstinence…having the ability to forbear somethings…in life many things. This is paramount to success.
I feel for those 17 school girls who were somehow encouraged to enter into a pact that will certainly impact them for the rest of their lives and those whom they will bring into this world.
Parenting is no joke…and certainly is not a game.
At last…I have gotten around to writing another blog. This is hard work you know? I can’t imagine trying to do it everyday. I mean I do have a life you know? (smile) God bless… ©2008
1 comment June 23, 2008