Another Post I never got around to Publishing… SOUL TRAIN MUSIC AWARDS a couple years ago… TEXAS STABBINGS & EXPLOSION at BOSTON MARATHON

Talk about not getting around to POST… when I finally came back to this blog it was I don’t know how long.  Now, after that it has been several weeks more  …had to add the tags and things.  And finally today here it goes…after a bomber or more…struck at the Boston Marathon today just as the runners started crossing the finish line.

I almost wrote… I’m just shaking my head… but it takes more than that if we ever expect to get a handle on this.  And it goes beyond insanity to some type of morbid inner nothingness that these people have who go out and do these type of things.

Well, nevertheless…. here is another Post that I just never got around to publishing for one reason or other.  After briefly reading through it I thought that I might share it with you…it seems that I felt like sharing some more of myself in it to you… wonder why?

I rarely like telling much about myself… though I must say that you really cannot tell it by reading many of my blogs.  But for the record… I cannot remember at all when I wrote this but it was a while back… so today I am feeling great and the day is sunny and beautiful.

Now, here is that blog which I failed to published some time ago…

Not feeling well today… but I am not complaining.  Because I have had many more days when I didn’t feel bad at all.  And not many people can say that.

I am just a touch under the weather.  And because I am not accustom to being sick… it tends to bother me a little more than most people.

The other thing is… I do not take medication.  Not at all.   Well… almost not at all.  There have been times when I had to breakdown and swallow something… or go in and have them give me a shot or something… but not often.  And believe me when I say… I have to be in an awful lot of  pain and/or discomfort for me to do it.

Otherwise, I just suffer whatever it is that is bothering me… until it goes away.  Not many people can do that… or attempt to do that.  Since so many people rush to go grab up a bottle of this or that at the slightest on-set of something they think may be bothering them… they never even try to fight off anything.

But this is just a little slight cold.  A sliver of dust must have gotten into my system while I was helping my brother move some furniture that he chose to move from my parent’s house into his new apartment.  And since I am allergic to house dust… and it didn’t take much before I started itching then a tickle came into my throat.  But as soon as the dust gets out of my system I will be up and about again.

But this past weekend I had a chance to catch the Soul Train Music Awards.  Needless to say… I did not know most of  acts or  the awardees.  But, of course, I did recognize Anita Baker and Ron Isley as they paid tribute to them.

But I waited around watching because I had never seen Eryka Badu perform before… and boy…oh, boy…  What a disheartening show it really was.

For one thing how can anyone who portrayed herself as being so Afro-centric ever have lighten their skin?

Well, that is exactly what Eryka Badu has done… or so it appeared to be the case to me.  And she looked terrible.  At first I didn’t even notice it… because it was kind of subtle and her face was camouflaged by the hat she was wearing.  It cast a shadow over her face.

We have all read about black women in Africa and the West Indies doing it… but to see that Eryka Badu has stooped to bleaching????

It is insane.  If anything I have always wanted to be darker… but lighter no.  A cousin of mine slipped and started calling me ‘light’ and I totally disliked it.  She was trying to anger me.  And she did the moment she let that slip out of mouth.

Needless to say, Eryka has always been a bit wired and out there.  She likes doing things to grab attention… I guess you could say.   I remember when she first came onto the music scene… everybody thought that the very long dredlocks she was sporting then were her own.  But low-and-behold… over a period of  time we all came to find out that it had been a wig or more than likely dred extensions.   After that I think she went to having no hair at all.

But seeing Erykah Badu with lighter skin… was discussing to me.  Talking about a mindless woman… who evidently hates herself.  I wouldn’t want attention that bad.  And whatever song that was… that she song on the Soul Train Music Awards… if  it was intended to catapult  the re-emergence of  her  singing career?

I think not.  For all it was worth she could have stayed home.  But I must say that I did love the hat… and that was about all I liked about this whole supposed Soul Train Music Awards.

For the most part most of  the music on the Soul Train Music Awards show really wasn’t even ‘soul music’ any more.   But a bunch of that ‘neo-soul’  junk.

So, in watching the Soul Train Music Awards… I began to feel that we are loosing our identity…our musical identity and authenticity.   An identity and authenticity which has marked and ruled… in my opinion the whole music world in this country since we came to these shores as slaves brought to America.  And my did we bring something with us.

Some of the best and most authentic music America has ever had  really came out of a revised culture whose roots were founded in slavery.  Much like the food we developed here called ‘Soul Food.’  Hence, Soul Music… the Blues… Doo-Wop… Gospel Music… Rhythm & Blues  etc… etc.. etc…

In watching the Soul Train Music Awards show I felt that soul music had been replaced by a bunch of  people who neither wrote lyrics  or  played real instruments.  People who only looked black, but were trying very hard to appear as weird and way-out as they possibly could be.   This because it would seem that everything today concerning music is about branding and images… and far less than about true talent… real vocal skills or any skills as far as being a musician or a real song writer.  What happened to artists with the talent of a Little Stevie Wonder or a Prince?

Based upon what I had seen those type of talents had faded far far far away.

None of  them… this group or now generation singers seemed to want to have any connection to the music that put Motown on the charts, or  Philly on the map… or  Chicago, Detroit, Memphis, New York,  and LA.  Or that had made other urban places  hubs for the rich urban soul sound and melodic tones that had come to be called ‘soul music’  or  ‘rhythm & blues”  …or even “gospel.”

While watching the Soul Train Music Awards… there were no Anita Bakers or Ron Isleys awaiting in the crowd to hear their names called for award.  In fact, the only soulful talenst on the show was Anita Baker, Ron Isley, Pebo Bryson, Chante Moore, Rochelle Ferrell, Jeffery Osborne and a few others.  But clearly the ‘soul‘  that had been in the history of  Soul Train is now gone.

Everybody wants to be a cross-over artist… some neutral detergent that appears to be black or African American but actually doing some white thang.

The whole time I sat watching the Soul Train Music Awards… which is something I have not watched in years… or any other music or movie  awards show in years.   As I had long ago felt that they had been watered down to appeal to more less urban audiences.

But it was frightening for me to see  such a lost of what seemed to me to be a vast depreciation of  what has always been ours… our real musical genius and talenst… gifted voices and fantastic lyric writing… such as that of  Barry White and Issac Hayes… Holland,-Dozier-Holland, Ashford & Simpson, Marvin Gaye, Curtis Mayfield… etc…etc… all to be turned into something which sounded a lot more like that puff of glitter disco music and digitized junk.  And I must say that I see the exact same thing  happening to gospel music.

In gospel music there has developed a vast desire to be played on something ‘called‘ Christian Radio stations…  which in my opinion is nothing but a bunch of  rock music  stations playing rock music and calling it ‘Christian Music.’

It would be a shame to loose the richness of  our music… and the history that our music carries with it to the junk I bared witnessed to on the Soul Train Music Awards.  Outside of the tributes to some real Soul legends… there was nothing on that show I would have voted to give 1 award to.

One day we will look up and no one will know what ‘soul music’  was or that it had ever been.  They will not know that there had been such groups like Blue Magic, the Dramatics, Delfonics, Temptations, Supremes, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, the Manhattans, Teddy Pendergrass, Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes, Chi-Lites, Rufus featuring Chaka Khan, Phyllis Hyman, Najee, Kirk Walham, the Sylvers, Michael Jackson, the Jackson 5, the Sugar Hill Gang and the list goes on and on and on…  And those are just those from my era there tons more before them.

Who can forget when James Brown first cried-

“Say it loud I’m black and I’m proud.”

Or, “Baby, please don’t go.”

Or when Curtis Mayfield song these words-

“If  I had a choice of  colors.”

Or Nina came with-

“To be young gifted and black.”

Maybe there is no need for such lyrics like these today anymore.  But that can’t true… particularly after what I just said about Eryka Badu and skin bleaching.   But then how about-

“La-la-la means I love you… I love you.”

What about -

“They’re smiling in your face…all the while they want to take your place.”

Will soul music die like jazz has died?

There are no more jazz artists like Max… Coltrane …  Gillipsie…  or Yusuf LaTiff… or Miles …. any more.

Or how about a Junior Parker…  or another B.B. King…  or Muddy Waters…  or Bo Diddley and their special blend?

Now, I must admit that these days I am strictly into gospel music… but having a history in the radio industry it is hard for me to not realize the importance of preserving this cultural history.  It is ours… and our children need to be recipients of at least knowing of that it once was.  We cannot just forsake everything.

These musical forms and artists are long gone…  Well, more or less off the musical scene… the ones I just mentioned above.  And soon along with their names will the memories of Blue Magic, Phyllis Hyman, the Dells, Temptations, Supremes, the Staple Singers and everybody else either before them or who came after them like Chak Khan, Earth, Wind & Fire, Emotions etc. be forgotten too.  To be replaced by a bunch of  people who have forsaken moving bass beats for  neo- tinty sounds that have nothing soul about them.  Music you can hop and jump up and down to… like we used to watch those young white kids do on those afternoon after school dance shows like the Dick Clark Show.   But they can’t really dance to.  And I guess that is really the point… its not meant to be danced to… but just to make some money.

Forget art…   What does art have to do with it?

No wonder the Soul Train Musical Awards show didn’t resemble anything like their old award shows… or for that matter… didn’t come close to emitting anything I would have called ‘soul’… outside of having a tribute to a few past ‘soul’ artists.  What a real shame…a legacy gone to naught…

I hate to say it… but little wonder Don Cornelius took a gun…  When you sell off something your control of it goes too…  Truly the history of Soul Train will never be the same…

Well, God bless… it’s Monday and I have been relaxing most of my day.  Then I started getting calls about an explosion in Boston.

After the stabbings on a Texas Campus last week… and now these explosions in Boston during the Boston Marathon… coupled with the guy shooting up the movie theater and that boy killing all those children plus his mother, in a Connecticut classroom…  Can you really say that we are not living in divers times?

I can’t imagine anybody saying that since they were 9 years old they had had fantasies about stabbing people.   FANTASIES ABOUT STABBING PEOPLE?

When I called my son to tell him about the explosions at the Boston Marathon today, he said to me-

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2013

Add a comment April 15, 2013

A PARENT’S WORST NIGHTMARE…Sandy Nook Elementary School

Wrote this on my Facebook page….

“Can’t imagine getting up early in the morning and rushing to work…and seeing my children off to school…only to hear my child’s teacher’s son came to school with a gun shooting to death his own mother…and stealing away the life and breath of my baby as well…and 17 other poor little children unfortunate enough to be that boy’s mother classroom.

And he takes his own life without enough courage to face me…

It has to be a parent’s worst nightmare.  Many parents who sons and daughters have enlisted in the arm services dread getting that call… or knock on their front door telling them that their son or daughter had been killed in battle.

But how do you deal with it when you are just starting your day and seconds into your child’s school session a deranged intruder steps in wheeling guns and begins picking off your child and all his classmates.  Bang… bang… bang… bang… bang…   And the teacher of  the class…  the school principal and other members of the staff and school?

How do you process that your little 5-year-old was just murdered in a place that you thought was safe?

In a place where you prayed that he or she did their work… and did not interrupt the class too much today… and you hoped that they didn’t get sick from anything they may have eaten last night?

How does 1 process that they will not be seeing their child smile up at them ever again?

How do you process that some 21-year-old boy… son of your child’s school teacher deciding that he hated his mother… and father soooo much…  enough to not want to kill them… but KILLED them both?   And then was selfish enough to despise your child and every child in his mother’s classroom enough to kill them too?

The fact that he took his own life is really a non-issue here.  I would not even go as far as to believe that he was deranged or suffered from some type of mental defect.  Because the whole story sounds like one motivated by selfishness.  Because if it wasn’t then what was the purpose of also killing every child in that classroom?

What more than some kind of selfishness could have motivated him… that school teacher’s son to stand there and kill off every little child in his mother’s classroom?

No… I think not.  It cannot bring back all… or even 1 of  those innocent lives which it so ruthlessly took.  Twenty-six people… 16 or 18 little children… between the ages of 5 to 10… whose parents will never forget yesterday… when they woke up their child was alive.  And less than 3 or 4 hours later they were not.

Yes, the gun laws should be changed in this country.  For the strong lobbyist that are so adamant against laws being put in place against guns… it is these very people who are not locking up their guns which become so readily accessible to their wacked out children… who think it fun to go to school and kill a bunch of people.

Between the movie theater… the various schools and now this act of senseless violence we all should be saying enough is enough.

For these parents who children take their guns and go out on a rampage… everything they own should be taken.  They can, of course, never repay for the lives that may have been taken by their child.  But the parents should suffer financially as well… because evidently they were not paying attention …or the guns were too accessible to their wayward child.

It is insane.

Add a comment December 16, 2012

Creflo and His Daughter… the 911 Call…. VENUS & SERENA Taking it all at W

When I first heard this story I have to admit that I just casted it off as a plain unruly child picking up the phone and calling 911 on her father…

Why?

Because she could.  And because that is what the law tells them.

You know the law?

The law that prohibits parents from chastising their children.  A law which many times clearly has made parents victims due to unruly children.  Because if the child doesn’t like what the parent has done …or says… all they have to do is drop a dime… or in other words… pick up the phone and call the police on their mother or father… or both of them.

The information when this story broke was that Creflo and his daughter had been in a dispute… which arose upon his daughter asking him… her father… if she could go to a party.

I have heard of many children who wanted to go against their parents … then decide that they would settle the matter simply by picking up the phone and calling the police on their parents.

So, of course… I thought this was just 1 of those stories.  Where a 15-year-old spoiled child decided that she did not like that her father told her ‘no’ she could not go to the party.  So, she therefore picked up the telephone of him… or popped open her cell …and called the police lying on her father… telling them that he had choked her.

That is what I believed and that is how I thought that it had happened.

So, I never felt that Pastor Creflo Dollar had really done anything wrong.

But it was not until I heard his recounting of the incident before his congregation… and after listening to his daughter’s 911 phone call… that I must say that I am not entirely sure that maybe the daughter did lie.

Here is her 911 call:

Now here is Creflo’s account of that situation:

Since I know neither of the 2 parties it is hard to determine what and what is true.  But it was Creflo’s own words and how he just seemed to literally throw his daughter up under the bus regarding the whole incident while speaking to his church, in his accounting of what his daughter said had happened, that stuck me as… hmmm.  He virtually called her a liar and continued to pounce upon her.  And that is what I felt was odd.

I do not believe a loving father… or any parent angry or not get before people and begins to pounce upon their children making their child appear bad or evil.

As a parent I have at times found myself angry at my son… and didn’t like something that he said to me .  But there are ways that parents handle these type of things privately.  Though at times I have had to admonish my son that he needed to tread lightly a couple of times while in public… as since he has reached his 30′s he has at times needed to be reminded ‘that I am  still the parent.’

While speaking Creflo took the opportunity to turn his message on its heels making himself the victim.

There is no doubt that this present system of taking the control out of the hands of parents to properly chastise their children… has made many parents almost helpless when it comes to their interactions with their own children.

It is clearly stated in the Biblical text that parents should not spare the rod.  Without following the instruction of God our children will become unruly… untrained… disorderly… and lack moral standards.  But with proper training… love… and guidance our children will make us glad.  It is Biblical text…

I knew a young mother… she had at lease 4 children and I doubt that she was older than 24 or 25.  One day in passing she informed me that she was having problems with her youngest child in school.  And she told me that they wanted to medicate him… I counselled her against that.

The little boy was bad… and very busy.  But I told to not let anyone give any of her children anything that would alter their mind… because it would rob her children of their lives.  And she told me how her oldest boy had call 911 on her… and how afraid she now was of trying to disciple any of her children in the least.

I was shock as her oldest child, who was at the time was just about maybe 9 or 10… was a very likeable and handsome boy.  He often stopped by my yard to speak with me as he passed by.  I found him very pleasurable… and never would have thought that he would have imagined to do such a thing.  But he had… the that incident scared his poor mother enough into not doing anything for any 1 of them, for fear of 1 of them ever picking up the phone on her again… and her children being taken away.

It is clear that the law against parents chastising their children binds the hands of good parents… people who love their children and only want to see that they do well.

No one enjoys little children who have no training at all.  They are like little animals… and as they grow up to they become even worst.

I was once investigated.  My son and I laugh about it today… but when it happened that thang scared me to death because all I could see was that ’they’ were going to remove my son from our house.  That would have destroyed me…  I doubt that I would have stayed around to let such a thing happen to my child.

But the investigation was dropped when it was discerned that it had no merit.

My investigation stemmed from my son not doing academically well in school.  So, the school suggested that I allow them to test him to see why.  I was young and foolish then… don’t let the school do any type of psycho-analyzing of your children.  Because they sit in rooms asking your children about everything but what they told you they were going to do.  And that is what brought about my dilemma… my son had not called anyone on me… but the school began questioning  him about me… whether I whipped him or not etc…etc… etc…

Needless to say I have since learned.  I am not the smartest but that situation taught me something… and I learned it shortly after I gave my permission for that school to tell me why my son’s grade were not so good.

How innocent was that?

That nearly had my son removed from our home… and placed into foster care.  There is something wrong with this system… and it truly works against parents… good parents.

I did not stop chastising my son… but I did tell him that if he ever told anyone that I whopped him that I would kill him.  And that is what we laugh over today.  He tells me that I was always threatening to kill him…

“Boy, I’m going to kill you!”

It was kindda the way folks spoke back then.  Most parents said it… but none really meant it.

However, the world has changed today… different kind of parents.  And that is truly sad… and what has brought about this problem.

Well, God bless… and have an enjoyable evening.

Okay….okay….

Just in case I don’t write anything else for a while let me just include this.

Serena Williams took Wimbledon winning the Women’s Single…  then turning right around and grabbing the Women’s Doubles title with her sister, Venus.

Venus was turned away in having lost early in the Women’s Single matches… largely due to her illness which renders her to be tired.  But the illness did not stop her when it came to the Women’s Doubles finals match, where both little sis and big sis walked away with the big one together.

I am very happy for them both.  I love their family.  Just love seeing the love… appreciation and unity they all  have… and through the situations and turmoil they still WIN!

Together Serena and Venus have won 13 Grand Slam Doubles titles together… and with Serena’s Wimbledon Single’s win a couple of weeks ago… the have between them 10 Wimbledon Single wins… with each of them having amassed 5 a piece.

Now, how good is that????

http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Latest-News-Wires/2012/0708/Serena-Williams-Two-Wimbledon-championships-in-a-day-video

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2012

Add a comment July 23, 2012

THE TIMES…Pastor Zackery Tims and Nicholas Ashford… gone…

First Zackery Tims …and now Nicholas Ashford.

Oh, I know… I know that Nick was not known for writing and singing gospel music.  But no one can deny that he did come from a strong gospel background… that sometimes even managed to show up in his song writing and way of singing.

And what songs they were.  He was gifted… and what he didn’t have …his partner and later to become his wife… Valerie Simpson had.  Together they wrote some of Motow’s best known music.  Songs like ‘Ain’t No Moutain High Enough,’ ‘It Takes Two,’ ‘Reach Out and Touch Somebody’s Hand’ ….just to name a few.  And I do mean just a few… because their list does indeed truly go on and on.

For a while Val and Nick could be caught holding down the evening drive-time radio slot at WBLS,in New York City.  In fact, 1 afternoon I decided to drop by BLS with the hope of getting in to see Vinny Brown, an old friend and co-worker who at the time was the Program Director for the station.  While waiting …to my unexpected surprise as I happened to look up… standing before me were 2 people I would have had to be totally blind to not to have recognized from the very moment my eyes came up on them.

“Val and Nick,” I heard myself say… as my head jerked back slightly in surprise.

It just kind of eased out of my mouth… I hadn’t realized they were handling BLS’s on-air  drive-time shift at that time.  So, I was really surprised to look up and see them, standing right there before me… close enough for me to just reach out and touch them.  Nick slightly smiled at me… while Val kind of looked off.

From the time I hit college Nick and Valerie had been busy in recording studios.  So, I had looked at and played  just about every album of their’s.  Definitely a sign of the time… because most of the kids don’t even know what an album was …or a 45 for that matter.  But yes …I had played Val and Nick for many years.  And it didn’t hurt for me to be a big fan either… which meant as often as I could I would sneak them in on my music lists rotations.

As the years went on I didn’t have to continue to ease… I just played them… back to back …or however I wanted.  Them and Phyllis Hyman… Donnie and Roberta… Friends of Distiction… Dells… Roy Ayres… George Duke… and whoever else I wanted to program.  Including Motown’s Temptations, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye… and just so much good music…  The kids don’t even have a clue… they have nothing like it today.

Nobody writes good music any more…  they don’t even know what it is to have anything called ‘good lyrics.’  They… the kids are too busy buying beats.  A lot of which are stolen from times gone… times that music like that during which Val and Nick came from …and wrote during.

Though they …Val and Nick had long since turned their attention to other things …such as going into the restaurant business… New York’s Sugarbar and I forget what their first restaurant was called …it had been on 22nd Street also in Manhattan.

And whenever traveling home on I-95… as I passed Stamford, CT… my mind would always run across them, as I knew that for a while at least they had made their home in Connecticut.

Having their number I called them once while seeking investors for 1 of my feature film projects.  Though I failed to reach them initially… you will never know to my surprise… how thrill I was to receive a call back from them concerning the message that I had left.  Val told me that they were just getting ready to open up another restaurant… which was to become the Sugarbar.  So, they couldn’t afford to do it at the time.  She appologized and told me maybe the next time.

I hung up not at all feeling let down.  All I could think was… wasn’t that nice for them to take the time to call me back?

This is my all time favorite song by Valerie Simpson and Nicholas Ashford.

While living in Chicago… Millie J… used to visit a friend of mine by the name of

Jean… who was Tyrone Davis’ sister.  Millie had come to town to perform and while talking with Jean… I overheard her say-

“While I was coming through the airport guess who I came across?  These two people walking around holding hands.  I didn’t even have to look twice.  I knew right off it was nobody but Nick and Val.”

They had that something special… kind of like what Michelle and Obama have.  A total appreciation for each other… and a desire to always be in touch with one another… as though they cannot do or bear to be without each other.

Just a few seconds ago, a friend of mine informed me that Nick had dealt with sustance abuse.  Never knew that …or ever heard that.  So, I don’t know for sure.  I have not seen him or Val for years now.  But I know their music anywhere or anyhow I hear it.

Personally, I cannot imagine Val without Nick.  She loved him… and held on to him.  And he loved her… and held onto her.   And together they held on to each other …a profoundly good example of 2 people who truly walked in love with one another.  I certainly pray her strenght in the Lord… and that of their children and other family members.

I had heard his testimony.  And what an awesome testimony he had had regarding how God had saved and pulled  him out of a messed up life of drug addiction… and having come from a home where nobody knew the Lord.   How God had put someone in his path that gave him an invitation… and 1 day for whatever reason Zackery Tims, some 8 or  so years ago… called a man on his job who had invited him to come and go to church with him.  And that night he got saved… and his life was forever changed.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20092873-504083.html

A megachurch Pastor having a congregation of more than 4,000 members in the Orlando, FL area… on this past Wednesday, Pastor Zackery Tims was found dead on the floor of his Time Square hotel room.  The first information said… heart attack.  But later information started circulating… that a white powder sustance… cocaine had been found on him.

I had long ago stopped watching him … or some reason or other.  I cannot remember why… but it always seems to me that as you watch some of these television evangelists… you like them in the beginning, but then they begin to shift.  And everything about them and what they are preaching changes.

I cannot say that about Pastor Tims… because I cannot remember what prompted me to stop watching his program. And it might not have had been anything with him… but a time conflict between the show schedule and my schedule.

His eyes lately were watery or shiney… glossy I guess you could say… whenever I would happen to catch the tailend or some part of his show.  And I am not just saying that because I am hoping that after the autopsy is finally released… it will show any drugs in his system.  Because I am not… if anything quite the opposite.

I would hate to think that he would have been drawn back… into something that he was blessed enough to have been released from.   But when you think back to the events that lead to his divorce… you have to think…    Well, maybe.

He was involved with a stripper for a year… that is what the article read.  But if it read a year… then it is possible that it was for a longer time than that.  While he was engaging in adultry with her… it is very likely that he was also indulging in other things too.  And while that relationship may have ended… and who really knows…  But if  he was drinking or indulging in drugs as well… it is not so likely that he also just stopped abusing either.  And do note I said ‘if’… because I don’t  know.

I didn’t know him… or much about him except what most of you who also watched the Word Network knew about him.  But I was watching the day he leaped upon the top of his pulpit  podium to dramatize something he was preaching.  I did think that  was very odd… and all I could think was-

“That is suppose to be holy.  How could he jump up on it?”

But it would seem that not much is still considered to be holy any more in church.  I see preachers with baseball caps and hats on in the pulpit… and sweat suits and sneakers.  Anything it seems  goes today… whatever… however…  whenever.   My, Lord…

Whatever happened to reverencing the house …and the things of the Lord?

UPDATE: SUNDAY, January 15, 2012…As of New Years Eve this year Pastor Paula White has been chosen the Board of Regents of New Destiny Christian Center.  And it would seem that since the autopsy done on the body of  Pastor Tims was never released to the public…that drugs had indeed been found in the blood system of the late Pastor Zackary Tims.

With the announcement of  Paula White becoming the chosen replacement…  Well, it did not seem to sit right with Pastor Tims ex-wife.  Tims’ ex-wife claims that Tims’ and her children are being robbed of their inheritance.  You can read more on that by CLICKING the LINK below.

http://www.christianpost.com/news/riva-tims-paula-whites-appointment-process-was-illegal-and-deceptive-66161/

Since I am on the subject of Pastors… and since I did write a blog on it.  Let me just note here that I read somewhere… or heard it… that Bishop Eddie Long quietly settled his cases with the young men who had filed law suits against him, for supposedly taking sexual advantage of  them while they were under his religious leadership as young teenaged boys.

The settlement is said to have been $15 million total going out to the young men in question.

Perhaps it is a sign of the times… but I sincerely hope not.

Visiting with a niece and enjoying myself.   Can’t you tell?

I have so much time on my hands that I decided to take some of  it to write this blog.  I rarely have much time these days.  I am on assignment… and must pick up my pace.  I have to stay busy in the things of the Lord.   And at the end of the day… I just want to be ready when He comes.

And for as long as I can remember that has not changed.

I still love this picture… It is sooooo refreshing looking.

Speaking of which… while talking with a cousin this evening… she told me that they were buckling down for a bad storm that they… the insurance claims agents of the company she works for …are being prep for if  it should hit us this week on the east coast.

Better get out and pick up a few things for just in case.  And no need to wait until the last minute… do it now since you have gotten some advance info.

One other thing… while here.  My niece took me by Dr. Martin L. King’s house and the Center for Non-Violence.  Took a picture with a tour guide who informed me that every house on his street was bought by the Federal Government… and the only house on the street that is not owned by the Federal Government on that street is the King house… which is still owned by the King family.  But the house is open for tours …which are done on the half-hour. 

It was amazing watching the people… black and white touring the grounds of the King’s house and the Center for Non-Violence.  And it is all free… parking and everything without any hassles.

Mrs. Coretta Scott King was a very smart woman.  A woman who was determined that her husband’s death was not going to be in vain… or forgotten.  And I mean she did it… and she didn’t do it half-stepping either.

Well, God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2011

4 comments August 23, 2011

Land Court… Me… and the Judge… and God…

Today I had a court date in Land Court.   Blessingly, God blessed me not to have to travel to our state capitol to have to do it.

By the time I got off the bus… jumped the train… then walked up the hill… I could barely walk into the courtroom the last time.  In fact, I could hardly stand when they called my case before the judge.

Seeing that the judge suggested that we do our next  court date by phone in order to make it easier on me.  At first I was resistant to that idea because I felt I could better sway the judge… be more effective or otherwise do more and better  for my case by standing before the judge than I could over the phone.

But I forgot 1 key factor.

It is not me… that I now depend upon when I walk into a courtroom… or anywhere else for that matter… but the Lord.

I have come to know that  if you truly trust Him… then you have to act like you trust Him.  It is not about saying ‘I trust the Lord.’   But it is about putting that into action… showing it forth so that it may manifest to be so.

So, I longer study… or pour over anything pining or worrying about the outcome.  I never try to even think about what it is that I am suppose to dred… because I do not think about.  I do not let it interfere with my days or nights any longer… because God has said ‘cast our cares upon Him.’

And let me tell you… that when you do… you will not believe the outcome.

Truly… truly cast your cares upon Him.

Well, today when I got up… I went about my normal routine.  I read a chapter in my Bible.  But I decided not to eat anything… I just wanted to mediate on God and what was going to be ahead of me in a couple of hours… that court conference call.

For the first time I glanced over the documents that the lawyer representing the City had sent to me.  Pulled out my calculator and started examining the figures for the past 4 years of  property taxes owed.  Trying to find some discrepancies… and when you are dealing with figures there will always be some somewhere.

Finally, the phone rang.   It was the court.

As the judge began to speak to me she informed me that the lawyer for the City wasn’t feeling well.  I’m thinking wow… it’s over there will be a postponement for another date… and it will give me some more time.

I knew I needed time because no matter which way it went I was going to have to come up with some money.  So, I needed time in order to save up an amount that might be agreeable… since there was no issue that  the property taxes due.   And so…the issue would come down to how much can you pay now… if  any… and work out some kind of  payment arrangement.

So, I was happy to believe that the case was going to get pushed back again.

But then the judge said  that the lawyer for the City has laryngitis and is having trouble speaking.  But if  you have any problems hearing or understanding  just interrupt and I will have her repeat it.

When the lawyer talked I couldn’t understand a word she was saying.  I turned up my phone and it was worst.  But I decided to listen as closely as I could.

In order to try and save the voice of the City lawyer… the judge had me do most of  the talking.  In beginning I suddenly remembered our last  court  session and what questions I had posed about the total amount of  taxes owed upon my parent’s property.  There had been places in the statements from the City where the amount owed leaped 2 to 3 thousand dollars from 1 quarter to another.   So, of course… I questioned this along with some other points I had found in the documents sent to me.

By the time our session was over the judge said send copies of  what you have to the City lawyer, and I am sure that the 2 of  you should be able to work out something.  And if  not the court is always here.

And then the judge said-

“And you can get those documents to her when you can.  And send copies to the court.”

So, the judge did not schedule another court date and she left it up to me as to how soon I could send the documents in question.

No payment schedule was set.

No return court date.

Nothing.

And through it all the lawyer for the City never said anything… because she could not talk.  She had laryngitis.

It is amazing.  A few months ago the City lawyer had sent court notices to me and all my siblings that they were in possession of  my parent’s house… and that we had 30 days to respond.   And when I called the number and spoke with the man handling it… he demanded $2,000 now in order to stop the process.

And about 4 months later… that process has yet to see the light of  day.

And the ultimate decision lays in the hands of  the court… and the judge had just finished giving me some more time.

Wow…

God is truly something.

Some may say why do I give all the credit to God?

First,  you would have to know when events are beyond your control  there can only be ONE somebody who can turn them in your favor.  And that somebody is God.

I write this blog for those of  you going through something.  Tons of  people are going through foreclosure still and so many other things.  And though it may seem bleak… or impossible for you to overcome… I implore you to just turn it over to  Jesus and see for yourself … first hand  just what I am talking about.

No lawyer… or  doctor … or even judge…  can beat  God at what He does.   And every lawyer…. doctor … and judge… and everybody in between have to submit to the will of  God… like Pharaoh.

God hardened Pharaoh’s heart… until He decided to soften it.  And when God softened Pharaoh’s heart… Pharaoh did as God desired him… he let God’s people go… the Israelites.  But it was all God’s will… the hardening to not let the people… and the softening to let the people go.

And it was God’s will in land court today… what that man working for the City had said to me some months ago has not gone to naught.  I did not have to pay him $2,000 …and that was back in January when he told me that.  It is now March… and I am still here and nobody has a hammer over my head anymore… demanding anything from me by way of  my parent’s property taxes… or other funds.

That is not to say… the taxes or anything else  is not owed.  But it is to say… that time is on my side… through the sheer grace and mercy of  God.  I  yet have time to set my parent’s house in order.   Thank you, Lord God…

Well, God bless…and hope you enjoy the rest of your evening. 

Sometime during the course of  your day just take the time to look up and observe the beauty that God has planted up there  for you to enjoy.

Oh, yeah… been sharing the house with 1 of my nieces.  My sister put her out.

She is only 16 and has gone totally crazy over some boy.

Beautiful girl…smart and everything… and I do mean everything going for herself.  ‘A’ student… on the honor society at school… captain of the school soccer and volleyball team…   And  BAMB!

All of  it down the toilet after meeting this boy.  Who happens to be 17 and in the 10th grade.  LOSER.   And she has had sex with him… and now she is out in the streets with me… sharing the roof  over my parent’s house.

I can’t wait until my sister gets over being mad.   Noooo… but really I love my niece to death.  She is not bad… totally not.  But recently  she has made some very bad choices.

So, currently she is in ‘in-house’ at school because she has skipped tons of  classes.  Her grades have dropped from the ‘A’s’ to ‘E’s.’

How do you do that?

The spirit of  lust.  People have lost their homes and families… marriages… children…  all of their friends etc… etc… all because lust caused them to do some ugly… and bad things..  say some things… and forced everyone who  truly cares for them to turn away from them.. simply  because the person cannot hear… nor can they see.   They have eyes to see… but cannot see.  And ears to hear …but cannot hear.

So,  I thought she was going home Monday…  But my niece slipped up again.  She went missing for 4 hours while she was at school.

Of  one thing I am sure… my niece wants to hurry and get out of  here.  Because her aunt is no  joke.  Sometimes you just gotta seem to meaner than you really are.  And none of my nieces or  nephews  play with me.  But… they love me the most if  the truth be told.  I know they do… and it is because I love them… I have become to be an enforcer.  But I do it all in love… and I can laugh and have fun with them and still enforce.

Now my niece is counting the days when she can go back home… and I know they can’t come soon enough.  It is all she can talk about-

“Auntie, do you think my mom this… and my mom that.”

Mom come and ge your daughter… she is driving me crazy.

 Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2011

Add a comment March 11, 2011

Alicia Keyes baby-mama drama …and everything that glitters…

Somehow I thought Alicia Keyes was smarter… maybe even a bit wiser.

When I was growing up I never thought to look outside of my home for my role models.  But the kids today like to pattern themselves after everything and everybody they see.

Their whole attire is based upon watching people in music videos.  That whole thing that they do with fingers…like we used to throw up the peace sign.  It’s from watching the guys on the videos.  Grinding and grabbing at their stuff…its from…

Well, you get the point.

I have read a couple stories on this romantic little couple…Keyes and her hubby to be.

But how does that happen?

He’s in divorce court…not even un-married yet  dropping sperm all over the place while hanging a ring around her neck.  Well, I mean on her finger.

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/05/28/2010-05-28_swizz_beatz_and_alicia_keys_engaged_and_expecting_their_first_baby_together.html

He is on the verge of having 3 sets of  kids…children from 3 separate women… 4 in total whenever Alicia gives birth to hers.

Here is a guy where all you have to do is look at his track record and that should give you reason to ease back from him.  What kind of  man is he that has 2 children with the woman who has him in divorce court, and before settling that matter he impregnates another woman and says-

“Lets get married.”

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/01/29/2010-01-29_alicia_keys_engaged_to_rapper_record_producer_swizz_beatz_report.html

And I thought I was disappointed in Vivica Fox when she hooked up with 50¢.  I thought she was too classy for him…just what I thought about Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown at first.  Though I still think that Whitney had more going for her than Bobby Brown, and over a period of time I began to see where neither Whitney or Vivica were quite what I had thought.

Which goes to my point that you should never idolize people who you do not personally know.  If  you don’t really know them then you do not a true perspective as to who they really are.  And that old saying really is quite true-

“All that glitters is not gold.”

Meaning though they may shine…be famous…popular…or whatever  but what you see and believe to be good may…   Well, it may be something totally different from you think you see.  And I am starting to think that about Alicia Keyes.

The guy doesn’t even look like anything to me.  But from the articles Alicia is totally smitten by him.  And she has to be to want to…or to have allowed herself to fall into the predicament she is in.  Pregnant with child by a guy who already has 3 children by 2 different women…and is currently still married.

I hate to say it…but it sounds so ‘ghetto.’  And I say that knowing that many people who live in the ‘ghetto’ do not all act ‘ghetto.’   That is to say that they come out of what is called a ‘ghetto,’ but they do not act or behave in a manner that reflects the negatives of that environment…or the stigma we have come to associate with certain elements within ‘ghettos’ or poorer neighborhoods…such as the character played so realistically by Mo’que in the movie ‘Precious.’

Within ‘the hood’ baby-mama/baby-daddy drama is something well documented…whether you witnessed it on the street or happen to hear someone conversing over a cell phone.  You know it when you hear it.  It  is in the tone of the conversation…the shouting…the emotions…and usually the cussing and swearing.

Amazingly, just like Alicia and this guy, Swizz Beatz.  The name alone gives you a clue that there is nothing there.  But going back to my initial statement…a few months into a fresh new romance everyone looks as in love as Alicia and this guy in this picture.  But then comes the drama.

And I have no doubt that it is going to come…if  history has anything to say about it.

And we all know that history as a way of  repeating itself…and clearly the guy’s history speaks for itself.

The mere fact that he had no respect for Alicia by at least waiting until he finalized his divorce to impregnate her and to set a ring upon her finger…speaks loud and clear.  And it ain’t saying ‘love.’

Oh, you may say-

“Oh, he is just trying to do the right thing.”

The right thing?

The right thing was to respect the mother of  his 2 children whom he is currently attempting to divorce before dropping a ring on somebody else…and making the other woman pregnant.  And Keyes is definitely the other woman in this scenario.

If one went back in time it is possible that the woman who this currently his wife…may have at the time found herself on the other side of the table.  And had been the other woman in that scenario between him and the mother of  his first child.

It is a know fact that if you meet up with someone this kind of way…where you take them from some else…  Well, sooner or later you will find yourself in the same predicament.  While the person moves on to the next one.

This guy strikes me as someone who likes to fraternized with women who have made  it or are their way to making it.  Hint…hint…  All gold digger are not female.

The ex-wife to be is a singer too…somebody named Mashonda.  Since I do not listen to R&B any more…or rapp…or anything much outside of gospel music…I have never heard of  her…or him.  But in watching a music video or 2 of  his… he definitely has to hook up with someone.  Because his talent, if you want to call it that…is not nothing.  You might consider him to be another…uhm… Bobby Brown.

So, he was in dire need to go to the next level.  And I guess you can say he did just that when he somehow managed to rope Alicia into his web of  romance.

At first glance Alicia struck me as clean cut…intelligent…gifted…and a young woman of  high standards and morals.  But she seems to have believed the hype and sunk into the life of  supposed stardom… rapp culture…  and whatever else.  She seems to have lost some of  that style… innocence…  and intuitiveness I thought she had.

So, how come she didn’t see this guy coming?

How could she have fallen so deeply under his spell?

Her style changed… her talk changed …she changed.  She started showing more…and leaving less to your imagination.

Maybe it was a desire to become more like…say a Beyoncé.  And for a while I had thought that it was going to Alicia and whatever Beyoncé’s husband is named.

Then I had thought it was going to be Alicia and Common.  But Serena Williams tied that up.

But personally she looks smart enough to be a lawyer’s wife… or some doctor’s wife.  But somebody with a brain seemed to be what I would have thought Alicia would have wanted.  Somebody like a Barack and not a Swizz Beatz.

But maybe like Vivica…Alicia wanted a thug.  Just somebody able to throw her down and sex her all night long.  But I would have thought that she would’ve wanted far more than that.

Maybe someone she could converse with.  Somebody who could do more than flash and throw his hands up in the air… or spin a couple of  turntables.  Somebody who knew something about responsibility.  Somebody who could really love and respect her.  Somebody who felt so deeply about her that he would not dare pull her into a mess.

But then what about Alicia?

What happened to her common sense?

Why would she want somebody who would pull her down?

Didn’t she see what happened between Janet and her ex-husband?

How about how far Whitney fell messing around with Bobby?

Is she  oblivious to what has been going on around her concerning messing with married men…and baby-daddies?

Doesn’t she realize that depending upon what state they live in that his children could pull a piece of  her earnings too?

Yes, that is right.  Once his way of life increases under the influence of  Alicia’s money… she could be forced by the court to aid him in supporting his other children due to her income.

So, then what would possess Alicia Keyes to want to tie herself down to a man who already has 2 set of children?

I know that it is hard to find men today who do not have any children… but there are some.  Some fine decent men waiting on a fine decent woman.   Who work and are more than capable of support his queen to be.

What happened to choosing one of them?

I see Alicia carries expensive bags…  which cost thousands of  dollar, like Chanel, Veneta, Louis Vuitton etc…etc… then why go bottom shelf  when it comes to choosing a mate?

And she wouldn’t take a bag that somebody else owned.  So, why do that when it comes to a man?

Why would Alicia Keyes want to let herself  in for all the baby-mama drama that is sure to come out of  her relationship with this guy, Swizz Beatz?

I don’t really know Alicia’s background but I have heard an interview or 2 where she has talked about her schooling and music classes.  And it never struck me that she came from the ‘ghetto.’

But one thing is for sure… she is beginning to act like it.

And let me just state this…that ‘ghetto’ is more a state of mind than being.  Because I know people who live in a variety of places including what would be called the ‘ghetto.’   But they do not possess a ‘ghetto’ state of  mind.

No respectable woman would set herself up for failure…except perhaps the woman Ruby Giuliani married after he finally divorced his wife.  What a mess that was… the guy had no respect.

How do you bring your mistress into Gracie Mansion, the Mayor’s mansion in New York City, where your wife and young son live to do your thing with her?

What kind of  woman was she?

I guess Giuliani was just too cheap to get a hotel.  But he did not impregnate her… least ways not that we know.  And just prior to his attempted run for the White House, he married her.

As to whether they are happy or not… I can’t answer that.  But I do not believe any woman can can sleep peacefully at night knowing that have hooked up with someone with a wandering eye.  If  it wandered 1 time…it can and usually wanders 2 or 3 times.  And in Alicia’s case maybe 4… if someone steps up to the plate with more money and appeal.

Because that is clearly the kind of guy this guy strikes me as.  Otherwise, Alicia wouldn’t be pregnant right now.  And he probably worked hard at that… he needed to seal that deal.

And he did.

I do not wish Alicia ill… but I just do not see it working out.  History always repeats itself, and someone’s nature is their nature. But God…only if God steps in and changes them.   And this guy has z history that is speaking loud and very clearly.

But going on to my initial point regarding role models.  Like Serena and Venus… I had thought Alicia as a good and decent role model.  But this thing about being out-of-wedlock, pregnant and messing with a married man has definitely put a dimmer on that.

The problem is …is that because Alicia is in the public eye she does bear a certain level of  responsibility.  I have no doubt that she realizes that there are many young girls and young ladies who follow her closely.  And for them she sets a kind of  standard of excellence and determination.

Her lifestyle and choices like that of  many celebrities gets digested, and incorporated into the being of  those who follow them.  Becoming pregnant by a married man…

Well, it is something most people do not brag about.  It shows a level of  insecurity…  carelessness… and a balant disregard for the other woman on the other side.

This scenario is weighted in history.  Its outcomes can be  read in newspapers time and time again, due to all kinds of crazy acts of  revenge… hatred… threats… kidnappings and murder plots.  It is not a pretty situation …and under it no one can truly find happiness.

Because what started wrong in the first place …can’t help but end up wrong too.

Then that is not to say that errors or lapses in judgment can’t happen.  But never compound a mistake.

Okay, Alicia may be pregnant…but should she really marry the guy?

No.  She made a mistake.  But she does not need to make another mistake… by marrying the wrong person.

Sure she is pregnant with his child.  But if he was worth anything that would not be the case.

Clearly, Swizz Beatz lacks certain morals.  I know that sounds like a foreign word to some.  But morals stand for something.  And anyone without them…

Well, would you really want to trust them with your heart?

Apparently, 2 others did.  And you can see what was the outcome.

Why should the 3rd…Alicia’s relationship with him be any different?

And don’t say-

“Oh, he might really love her.”

Might is the operative word.  He might …and then again he might not.  She might just be another trophy to him.  Might  be just another target for his ego …and something for him to laugh about while chatting with his boys.

As is often in this kind of  case… the man walks out on the other woman eventually…leaving her for the next one.  It is an endless cycle for those who have no moral consciousness going from 1 woman or  young girl to the other.

I pray that women wake up.

In the Biblical story in the Book of  Genesis… Leah eventually did…wake up…but it was not until after she had bore Jacob 5 sons.  She kept hoping child after child that Jacob would love her.

Today, we this scenario still plays itself out over and over again.  In the story of Leah and Jacob …you can assume that Leah did not love herself very much.  The text said that she had a tender eye… whereas  Rachel was beautiful.  And she could clearly see how much Jacob loved her.

It had to be painful.

Hence, any woman…or girl who loves herself  is not going  to just allow someone to use them with the hope of  winning them over.  Or baring a child for them with the hope that this will tie a  person to them.

I had a Jamaican cousin who passed last year.  Since I really didn’t know her I was informed by 1 of her sisters-

“I don’t know what happened to Marva.  She was never ever like that before she met him.”

Before my cousin Marva ‘met him,’  my other cousin shared with me…she was happy and carefree.  She loved life… and was always playing practical jokes.  But then she ‘met him.’  She loss the essence of who she was.

He did not love her… but he kept stringing her along.  Because he knew he had her.  She gave him a child… but yet she could not keep him.  There were other women in his life …but she refused to let go.  Then he married another woman… and my cousin’s life caved in on her.

Suddenly, nothing mattered.  Not even her own child.  Her thoughts were consumed with him.  Her desires were all for him.  Then he shun her… cursed her …and stopped seeing her as regular.

And she began attempting suicide.

She succeeded last year when she finally turned a bottle of  bleach up to her mouth.  This time there was no doctor that could help her.

They could not pump her stomach.  It burnt up her  insides.   And they could do nothing to help her but watch her suffer…for days… my aunt (her mother), her husband (her father) and her other sisters.

But at the funeral they realized that she was now at peace.  But what a sad way to go.  And what a horrible way of  trying to find peace.

What could possess someone to love someone so much…more than than they do themself… or her child… to attempt on several occasions… and then to final succeed in killing themselves?

Could anyone on this planet be worth all that?

No.  Not at all.

His life went on.  But her’s ended…and ended horribly.

It had been compounded by 1 error after another.

There are some people not worth being bothered with.  And particularly if they can somehow manage to cloud up how you feel about you.

I was once so in love.  I do know how it feels.

I loved this person so much.  She had me.  And when it was other… I spun into my own web of  depression… remorse …loss …and pity.  It came across my mind…that thought of  suicide. 

Everywhere I turned I saw couples.  Everywhere I looked I saw people walking hand in hand.  Spring was in the air… and so was love.  And I had no one…I was alone.

The one I cared for had cast me off.  And I was floating …drifting in my mind.  Reality was lapsing from me.  I saw that which I wish I had.  And it was all around me.  Happiness …chatter… the glee of  being with someone you loved.

But there I was alone.

And yes… it came to me.  To kill myself … and to bring it all to an end.

But instead it was overcome by another thought.

I began thinking that maybe ‘the life’ wasn’t for me.

I began thinking that being in ‘the life’…meaning ‘in a gay lifestyle’ was not some place where I could be happy.  And maybe I needed to try the other way?

I tried it.

But I didn’t like it.

But I emerged from it pregnant.

I thought of  abortion.

So, I called the hotline.  But when they started talking about ‘partial anesthesia’ or ‘full anesthesia’… I knew that either way it was going to hurt.

So, I just decided to go through with the pregnancy.  Truly, that was my thought process.  And that is why I now have a son… who I must say is a far better person than his mother.

And my goodness… what would this world be like if my son were not upon it?

I made the right choice.  And it is God’s desire that we have freedom of choice… so we can exercise our right to make ‘the right choice.’

And I am glad that I made another choice.

It took me years to get here.  But I made the choice to walk in liberty …and to come out of darkness.  And I am so happy that I did.

Oh, well…   I have got to end now.  Because I am really supposed to have watched a movie… and now I’ll be up and working on a legal paper.

So, I really must get moving.  Enjoy your day tomorrow.

In closing let me say 1 more thing… Alicia at 29 years of  age should be wiser.  I say all of this because I have no doubt that a lot people will read this blog.  And I would just be wrong if  I did not speak truth…with the hope that someone might hear.  Or that it might help someone…including Alicia.

God bless.

THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2010

You have got to watch the BELOW  video.

1 comment June 1, 2010

Gary Coleman passing… Parenting and those who claim to know…

I have long held that most of the supposed authorities giving out information on how to treat, displine and handle your children…are really a bunch of  people who do not know what they are talking about.

Now, today I happen to come across this article…which…

http://www.parentdish.com/2010/05/24/opinion-im-in-favor-of-my-daughter-dropping-out-of-high-school/?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl3|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parentdish.com%2F2010%2F05%2F24%2Fopinion-im-in-favor-of-my-daughter-dropping-out-of-high-school%2F

Well, it proves my point.

The above LINK to the article is written by a mother who states that she is a Professor at some big time university…where she and her husband taught.  And I say ‘taught’…because he is now deceased, but she still teaches there…wherever it is.

Probably in New York…or at  Yale…or some place.    Some place like NYU…or Harvard…M.I.T.   Or Georgetown…or Princeton.  But I bet you it is somewhere on the East Coast.  Somewhere near Greenwich… or out in the Hamptons.

And I tell you why.

In this woman’s article…this Professor… she states that she told her daughter that it was okay for her to drop out of school.

Yes, I did say that.  This she plainly states in her article where she says that she told her daughter, who wanted to drop out of high school…that it was okay to do so.  In fact in the article the woman states this….”school wasn’t working for her.  So, I even encouraged her to drop out.”

The so-called ‘parenting expert’ also states in her article that she is the author of numerous books on parenting.

Now, do you get my point?

For some years now these so-called ‘parenting experts’ have been telling this country how to care, chastize, woo and cuddle their child.  Most of  them mind you have never even had a child yet they sit around articulating on various talk shows, radio programs and in new articles how ‘we’…real parents should care for our children, and their discipline.

They are the ones responsible for why laws were written about what types of discipline are and are not allowable or acceptable.  Laws which have given way to some of the most unruly children to walk the face of  this earth.  Many have no matters…and some even lack basic unbringing.

I am not, however, critiquing or criticizing all children or teens…or anyone outside of  this mother who happens to claim that she is an expert in this matter.   Clearly something is wrong with the picture of ‘child/parent relationships’ today.  And this corrupted picture basically has stemmed from a lot of  very bad advice from a bunch of  people running around who nothing about children.  And neither do most of them had any children of  their own…or like this woman who wrote the above article…they failed to be able to control their own children.

So, they give in to them…and up on them.

What parent in their right mind is going tell their child in these days and times…or in past times that its okay to drop out of  high school?

No one.  None of  them did.  Though in past times many children did not have the leisure of  pursuing a full education based upon family demands.  But these days have changed and so has the criteria to be capable and compedent to be a part of  today’s work force.  It has grown and gotten much higher.  You need more education today…more than ever before.  And particularly if you want what is called a good job…and higher pay.

Evidently, this woman is either very rich… or she has heavily insured her daughter and plans for some type of accident.  Because either that or she must be planning on taking care of  her daughter some how for the rest of  her life.  Because without a college education…and many times  above… her daughter’s life is going to become very hard.

Anyone who does not have an appropriate education today is as good as doomed.  There is no about it…or buts about it.  Everybody can’t go to Hollywood and become the next $20 million movie star…or make mega making music song deals.

I am sure that that this woman’s daughter is never going to be the next Whitney Houston or Barbara Streisand.  Her daughter doesn’t stand a chance unless her mother has some money.  It is highly unlikely that this woman’s daughter will succeed at much of anything if  her mother’s attitude has always been-

“Oh, well if you can’t do it that’s okay.  Just quit.”

What parent tells their child that?

What do these so-called experts know?

People who want their child or children to succeed in life push them.  They push them to get up in morning…to make their beds… to clean their rooms… to brush their teeth… to comb their hair… to take a bath…etc.   Parent’s push their children…and after a while the hope is our children will start pushing themselves.  They must learn to get up…and make their way in life.  They have to learn to  clean their rooms on occasions… and how to take a bath and brush their teeth…and comb their hair without anyone having to push them.

And I do not mean by being mean and cruel to your children…or be overbearing in your desires for your children.  No, not in that way…where the children come to dispise  you because all you care about is that “A” or the winning of  the ball game.  No, not at all like that.  But the kind of pushing that parents must do in order to get their children up and going…and to engage them in life.

It is called ‘growth and development.’

We grow…and develop over time.  I am sure that over time even I have grown in the writing of  these blogs.  My first blogs are nothing like they are now…be it in their overall appearance…content…the amount of time I spend on creating them…and my total effort in doing them.  I have grown…and so have they.

But I learned how to grow through my parents pressuring me to always do my best…and to never give up.  Needless to say…I didn’t always like it…but it worked.  Speaking of which…when my son spent 4 years in 9th grade…

Yes, I did say 4 years in 9th grade.  I told him this-

“I don’t care how long it takes you to finish high school. You can sit there until you get old and grey if you want to.  But you are going to stay there until you finish or until somebody walks up to you and taps you on the shoulders to tell you to get out.  But you are going to stay there until then.”

And I meant every word of it.

It was not that my son was a bad child.  But he was a social butterfly.  I sat in on many of  his classes just to ensure that he was doing his doing what he was suppose to be doing in school.   And I often travelled in from New York… getting off the inter-state bus to catch a city bus to the whatever school he was at.

If  you want your children to succeed you have got to commit yourself to their success.  And you have to do it without surrendering.  I never surrendered.  Today my son is very successful.  He successfully finished high school and then went on from there.  Today  he makes lots of money doing what he loves.  But it did not come with me giving up  on him or giving in to him.

It takes education to end up in life doing what you love.  Must people work doing what they have to…and oftentimes doing something that hate (and that is many times  regardless of  their education if  they chose to study something just for the money).  But those who are educated can pick and choose what it is that they want to do…and at what price.  That is the beauty and difference that education can make.

This is not to say, however, that only people with good education succeed.  Because there are many examples today and yesterday that prove that point as well.  But, however, that road is not an easy one… and it becomes complicated with a lot of ‘no’s’…and plently of road blocks.

During the last year of  my son’s 4th year in 9th grade whenever he asked me for anything I would just merely say-

“Four years-9th grade.”

That ended any further discussion about whatever it was that he was asking me for.  Oh, how I loved that time…I did not buy one single thing for him that was not a need.  He asked me for new pair of $100 sneakers…he asked me for a beeper…he asked me for all kinds of  things.  But he got none of them… no Christmas gifts…birthday gifts…nothing.  Nothing…not that I would have bought him a beeper or  spent $100 on a pair of sneakers anyways.  But I still remember his face when I would say that to him…4 years-9th grade.   But he made it out of  9th grade.  And from that point on he began making the honor roll.

It took some time but it got there.  It hit home… my saying that to him.  It must have given him pause to sit back and think about the time he was wasting.  He had thought of school as a fun place not a learning place.  It is alright to have fun in school, but not whern it disrupts others…or hinders your learning…or that of those around you.  My son did not hinder others…he just was busy not doing his work.

But after that first time of making it onto honor roll there was such a shift in my son’s attitude towards his school work.  He started taking pride in himself and his school work.  He even began to brag that he was the smartest boy in his class.  And from that first moment on the honor roll he just kept on out performing all of them…because it felt better than sitting in school doing nothing…and everybody now looking up to him, and asking him to help them.

At the end of the day no child wants to do anything.  I know I didn’t.  We would have all rathered to have sat before the TV all day watching cartoons or drawing and coloring on paper…where as today’s kids play all kinds of computer games…game boy and things like that.  And if  they could they would never set it down… or go to school if their parents let them.

So, enter this woman…who I guess is proud…  Well, she states that she is proud.  She feels that she has done some great thing by telling to her daughter to quit school.  I would beg to differ.

And just like I said when I started this blog.  It just goes to prove all along what I have always believed about these so-called ‘child experts.’   They do not have a clue.  And nobody should be listening to them.

And before I forget…the reason I said that the woman (the mother) was probably some Professor from NYU or some other North Eastern college, was because her view seemed to be quite East Coast liberal.  It was…or is quite liberal, which I think is how a lot of former flower children/hippy…or should I say ex-hippy…or ex-flower children liberal Eastern Professors think.   And particularly if  they have money…or come from families with money.

If you have money then it really doesn’t matter.  You can say something dumb like tell your child to go ahead and just drop out.  Because you have the finances to provide and care for that child for the rest of  his or her life.  And being that this woman has a daughter…   Then she can do it right up until the time her daughter gets married.

Well, I was wrong…the woman who wrote the article teaches at some school in California.

But the point that made the whole article ridiculous for me was the fact that the woman…this ‘child/parenting expert’ was proud of  herself  for telling her daughter she should just drop out of  high school.  This she told her daughter because her daughter wasn’t doing well, and she didn’t like school.

Boy, if ever parent thought like this woman more than 3/4 of the school population would no longer be attending school.

What child doesn’t think that they hate school?

I didn’t…but that is beside the point.  I guess I would be part of  1/4 attending school.  But I don’t think I would really count.  Because I only liked school because it got me out of the house and away from my sisters and brothers.  When you are the oldest of  8 siblings…you fall in love with school real quick.

Now, back to this woman who wrote the article…this supposedly well educated woman…a woman of  letters… having a doctorate in her field…which in turn gave way to her the claim to proclaim herself an expert in the first place.  And this woman also writes books telling parents what to do concerning their children.

Real parents stand up.  You better take those books by these  so-called experts and throw them into your incinerator.  Because clearly this woman doesn’t know what she is talking about.  She doesn’t even have a clue.  Her head must be stuck in the ground.  And her hand is definitely not on the pulse of  what is important in the real world.

And she teaches college students?????

If  your child is going to succeed…they will need to be educated.  And I hope that whoever your child is…I hope they are not in any of  this woman’s classes.

Throughout history the levels of  man’s success has  always been measured and linked to his hard work and level of  education.  And education has always set the standard for the classes…separating  those who have juxtapose to those who have not.

Now, on to Gary Coleman. 

While listening to Bev Smith last night on her late-night radio talk show over the internet, I heard that Gary had been emitted into the hospital and was in intensive care.

If ever you have considered getting your child involved in the entertainment business Gary Coleman’s life is definitely one which should give you pause and is worthy of  another consideration.

If ever there was a group of child stars who did not fare well it was the group of child stars that appeared on the show with Gary Coleman.  We all remember “Diff’ rent Strokes.”    It ran all the way up until Arnold began to turn old before our very eyes…and therein laid his delima.

Size-wise he never grew much but his feature stopped ceasing to be as cute and lovable…I guess you could say.  Which I have no doubt had a lot to do with his medication and kidney problem.  But then too there were those storylines.  They got to where they were just plain dumb.  And so the show over time lost its appeal and audience.

But there was something going on in the background.  Drugs came into their midst.  Then drinking added to the drugging.  But we never could tell…least ways I couldn’t.  But it affected the lives of  the 2 other child stars on the show…more so than it did Gary.

Todd Bridges who was always good-looking, along with Dana plato all became sister and brothers. Willis…the character that Todd played on the show, was supposedly Arnold’s real brother, who both end up being adopted into the rich Drummon family.  Where Dana, Kimberly Drummond on the show, becomes their sister.  Todd later reported that he and Dana experimented with drugs together while working on the show.

Dana later becomes pregnant by some boyfriend and got fired from the show.  Like Gary Coleman, she too was adopted.  And from articles that I have read…the woman who adopted her was hungry for money and really never cared much for the child otherwise.

Dana’s life like Willis’ and Gary’s was sad following the end of  their years as stars on Diff’rent Strokes.  Down and out Dana moved to Vegas with her baby.  She found herself  in a beat-up trailer park…and one day steped into a video store to rob it with a gun…got  jail time…and she later died of an overdose.

Like Willis, Dana was probably the product of  child abuse.  She had the typical scars of  a sexually abused child.  Following her departure from Diff’rent Strokes she posed nude in a layout in Playboy…and later turned to staring in pronography.

Willis’ inner demons began to plague him following a friend of  his father taking advantage of  him sexually as a very young kid.  Years later he found himself suffering from anger management, drinking and problems with drugs…and doing time in jail on weapons charges.

Dana at the age of  14 was already drinking and drugging long before she hit the set of  Diff’rent Strokes.  It is amazing that watching them you would have never guessed any of  the inner turmoils in any of their lives.

No one can ever tell me about the demons which chase children long after the abuse stops.  What a different life and end she might have had.

Arnold…or Gary suffered with kidney problems…a problem which attributed to the lack of  his growth in stature.  And he also became a very angry man as the years went by.  Often he was dragged into court stemming from incidents where he hit or punched a fan.

He was no longer that cute or funny little child star…but a little short man…out of work and turned against his then family.  His adoptive parents he took to court claiming that they had robbed him.

Though he tried at different ventures…everything failed.  And for a very brief time he even tried to pursue a college education…but that too failed.

Whenever his name came up in the news you always wondered who he had hit next?

It seemed that the whole world had turned against him…and he against it.

I think the one shinning moment through those years was when he and Willis teamed up on a movie showcasing their lives and the turmoil that followed after Diff’rent Strokes was ended.  I have no doubt that that movie will pop up somewhere now that at the age of 42 Gary Coleman is gone.

http://www.popeater.com/2010/05/28/gary-coleman-dead/?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl1|link1|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.popeater.com%2F2010%2F05%2F28%2Fgary-coleman-dead%2F

http://news.puggal.com/dana-plato-playboy-june-1989-39038/

Willis…or Todd which is his real name… has since gotten his life back on track.  And often I have heard him talking about God in his life.  I hear that he has a re-occuring role on a soap opera.  I certainly wish the continued best for him…along with his continued growth in the Lord.

Yesterday I spent most of my morning resting for my afternoon studio shoot.  About 1 o’clock I was up and rushing.  But by the end of the night I was tired… but quite satisfied.  I had gotten most of what I wanted… and everybody who said that they would…  Well, they showed up.

Now, I am on my way with that.  And I feel good.

And in case you are wondering why I have not said anything about my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, lately.   Well, for one thing I was hoping to be in New York promoting my book at the Book Expo America this week.  And since you know I was in the studio shooting footage last night…  So, you know that that didn’t happen…no me and New York City this week.

The other thing that happened…and perhaps you have experienced this.  My flash drive  died.  It CRASHED…and I had all most all of  website files on it.  And I do mean it  crashed…and I had failed to back-up those files anywhere else.

So, for the past 2 weeks I have been praying over my flash drive…and continuously sticking into this computer and that computer hoping  for just anything to happen.  But it has not.  So, I have been trying not to think about.

What good would it do for me to get all upset over it?

None.

Because like you may have…I have learned this lesson more than once.  And yet I continue to do it.

I never save anything on a back-up.  And dealing with computers…which are very tempermental…you are taking a large risk if you don’t back-up everything someplace else.

And so…I have learned that lesson again.  But I think that this time is the last time.

Enjoy your night and have a beautiful day tomorrow…and Monday, Memorial Day.  I am going to try and get some sleep now.

Tempertures here are climbing again.  And it has been real hot here.  Better pull out the sprinkler if you don’t have a pool…get yourself some Italian ice.  I love them…and popsickles too.

Oh, yes…

Today while waiting on bus.  I was joined by some high school seniors in their caps and gowns.  And they looked beautiful…and their was an air of  excitement and happiness in each of  their eyes, as well as, upon their faces.

And I just had to compliment them on their achievements, and tell them how well and beautiful they all looked.

It was beautiful.

The weekend before last we were in Jersey at Drew University cheering for my brother as he walked across the stage accepting his doctorate degree.  This past weekend a niece and cousin graduated from college.  And this coming coming Wednesday another niece will be graduating from college.

My parent’s children are all growing up…and our family is expanding in many different ways.  In our growth and knowledge of the Lord…in our family size…and in our educational knowledge.  My partents time and efforts were vested well.

So, it has been busy around here with all the graduations.  All of the graduation receptions…and all of the tears of pride and joy…and happiness for them.  Hope you have had the opportunity to do the same.  And if not this year maybe next.  But it does not come with people giving up…or parents telling their children its okay you can just quit and drop out of school.

What a road map for desaster.

And…God bless.

THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2010

[youtbe=http://www.youtube.com/v/H7_sqdkaAfo&hl=en_US&fs=1]

Add a comment May 29, 2010

Two 5 year olds…raped…and murdered… and on Obama and the detainees…

I recalled with I was taken advantage of…back then they didn’t kill you.  Well, they sort of did.  They killed you alright…but you were like  the walking dead.  They stole something from you…you didn’t know what or even that they had stole it.   But you knew something was wrong with it. 

So, you just never told anybody.  Never whispered a word…just kind of  hid it down deep inside…if  you could.  And if  you couldn’t…then those kids became problem kids…some even predators preying upon other kids.

The life of  a child can be hard…and particularly so when viewed as a sex object…something to fill someone’s sick preverted fantasy or sexual obsession.

Upon just coming up onto the internet this evening  I have read and watched video about  2 very young girls… both of  them age 5.   One white and one half and half…mixed…half white and half black.  And both of  them were sexual violated and then murdered. 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33945506/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/33970521#33970521

http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090715/NEWS02/907150347

Two very beautiful young children…and their lives were destroyed at the tender age of 5.   Forced into acts that no child should have to endure…or be forced to become party to. 

One buried alive and the other the autopsy is forthcoming.

How dare anyone steal their lives from them.

How dare someone rob them of  becoming teenagers…going off to college…and hanging out at a movie with friends.

How dare somebody steal their womanhood from…their motherhood…their promise…and now has robbed us all of  them and what they might have achieved.

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/missing-5-year-old-michigan-girls-body-found/4267798260

I have no doubt that they both suffered traumatically.  People who kill people suffer from a deep sense of  needing to feel powerful.  Can you imagine being mentally that small that children give them a sense  of  power when taking their life.

Then there are those who kill children just so that no one is there to tell the story…as to what and who did what to them.   What cowards they are.

They are man enough to do it…but not man enough to stand up for having done it.  So, they kill the victim…they murder the innocent child…the woman or whoever.  And they set out  doing  it…again and again…and again until they slip up and somehow get caught.

They are like the bank robbers of  old…who kept on robbing banks until they got caught.  Went to jail…got out…and sooner or later went right back to robbing banks…until they caught again…or shot down.

Does alerting neighborhoods that there is a sexual predator in their neighborhood really work?

I think not.

Do most of  these men go back out and start seeking children all over again?

Yes.

Paedophiles and sexual deviants clutter most neighborhoods.  The only problem is…is that most of  them are never caught.  Because most children don’t tell.  And a lot of  women who get raped don’t either.

Then there is this other factor… a lot of  them look like your husband…and/or brother.   In fact, they are your husband…and/or brother.  Most men have had sex with somebody who was not of  legal  or consenting age.

I have a friend who often during some of our conversations has laughed to me about how while in college he had had sex with a 14 year old girl we both knew.  And for the life of me I have always wondered why he thought it was so funny? 

And why would anybody want to laugh about such a thing?

There are certain things if  I were guilty of  them…I would not talk about them.

It’s illegal!

Having sex with children is illegal in this country.   And in most countries.

Outside of  it being taboo…what could possibly be interesting about having sex with a  5 year old child…or a 3 year old…or any child…or teenager?    And in South Africa…they have wide spread incidences of  men having sex with infants.   Yes, INFANTS…claiming that it is because they have a fear contracting AIDS by having sex with women.

An…infant????

This whole topic is really more than I can bare.  I guess because it hits so close to home.  I had not only been sexually molested as child…twice…and before I reached 4th grade…but I came very narrowly close to being gang raped by a group of maybe 20 if not more men…had not it been for the grace of  God.

I spent my life from that point on…until I was in my mid-20′s abstaining from sex.   There were those who asked me…and there were those who tried to force me.  But I said ‘no’…and I resisted where I had to.

But I never allowed anyone ever again to take advantage of me…or to use me again like that.

When I had those experiences I was too young to even know what was happening to me.   I knew nothing about sex…or sexual intercourse.   I had never seen it…the act before…or anyone indulging in it.   So, it was very foreign to me.  I could not wrap my little mind around it…much less even know that it was wrong. 

Though my abusers were not violent towards me…they did steal my innocense.    But they steal more than innocense today.  They bully, beat, violate and then butcher the child.

I had read many years ago in a book or a publication of  some sort…that 3/4  young girls experience some type of  sexual abuse.  And that  a quarter of  the  men have been propositioned by another male or experienced anal sex. 

Since so many men…particularly black go into the prison system today…that figure is probably far higher now.  Because a lot of men today also indulge more freely in what they call ‘man love.’   Some openly while many others on the DL…the down low.  And the same can be said for more women today…in terms of  lesbian hookups…getting themselves a girlfriend.  It seems to be the rage (the new in-thing).

There seems to be a growing obession with sex…and deviant sexual behavior…and violent deviant sexual behaviors.

It has become a growing practice for sexual offenders to ‘snuff  people out’…killing them while engaged in sex or following it.

Those 2 little girls looked so innocent and so beautiful.

How could a mother sell her child out as prostitute?

Her little 5 year old daughter…her own flesh and blood?

Can there be that much hate…and bitterness in anyone?

Yes…sadly, yes.

I am sicken by all these things.  And whether you believe it or not…it is a spirit…very  very dark spirits sweeping across America.  And I guess the world.

And I was going to talk about Obama and the detainees being imported to the main land…USA.  Which I think might be a big mistake.  But I guess I will discuss that in another blog.

But let me just point out real quick…that the errors committed by the Bush Administration in the handling of those prisoners…in that  many of  them were just swept up and secretly flow out from their homes, family  and country.  Some who were innocent of  any crime.  But now all violently anti-America…and Americans.  And who would not be after what they have all had to endure in Quantanamo Bay?

The past treatment of  those prisoners makes them high security risk and threats upon American soil.  The bitter taste put into their mouths via the Bush Administration can’t be turned around by any acts of  kindness.  And particularly not among people who willing do not mind killing themselves to kill you.

So, no they are too dangerous to be brought into this country.  America has many other options…and  we should  be considered.  Because those people for the most part will have to be locked away for life.  Because they will pose too great of  threat…in terms of  them trying to  get  revenge  for any  and all preceived wrongs that were brought about when they were initially imprisoned.  And of course…due also to their gross treatment under the past administration.

Lets face it…I doubt that few of  them are  not bitter over the situation.  And I would be too…and so wouldn’t you.

Well, hoped you had a beautiful day.  Started off  fine but then turned cold.  And we are inching our way towards Thanksgiving.  I know that I am looking forward to it.  And hope that you are too.

http://news.aol.com/main/nc/article/body-of-missing-girl-shaniya-davis-found/764600?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Fmain%2Fnc%2Farticle%2Fbody-of-missing-girl-shaniya-davis-found%2F764600

Well, God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2009

 THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.  You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card.  Thank you. 

Add a comment November 17, 2009

Gang rape… assualt …murder… and fear

I rarely read the newspaper…and have stopped watching television.   So, the means that I accquire the news these days is usually when I go up over the net and see a news flash.   Most of the time I pay little attention to them…but then there are those which draw me in.  And I find myself having to read the story…and not out of  real interest…but because I find the headline hard to believe.

Today, I came across one of  those attention grabbing headlines.   The headline read something like this…‘Gang Rape and nobody helped.’

How could such a thing happen?

What has happened to mankind?

The incident took place during a high school homecoming dance outside in some alleyway or something on the school grounds…for 2 hours long this raping continued.  And kids stood around watching, while others  jumped in to participate while a 15 year girl was repeatedly  raped  by up to as many…if  not more than 15 to 20 people  who in some way participated in this incident  or  stood  by watching.

What would possess somebody to stand around and want to cheer on or watch such a thing?

Why didn’t someone call for help?

Or run and go tell somebody?

What is going on in the minds of our young people that they could get caught up in such a thing…and then become party to it by standing around and doing nothing…or worst…jump in and become more than a watcher?

Everyone of those kids should be pulled into court…and facing some type of charges. 

Many were busy lighting up their cell phones taking pictures of the crime…and even videotaping it…a type of criminal voyeurism.   But no one called for help…or tried to stop what was going on.

I cannot imagine such a thing.  There is not anything that I can see going on…that I would not try to stop…or somehow  help in some way.  I have seen men fighting their girlfriends…and gotten involved.  I have stopped fights between kids.  I have gotten between mama-bady-daddy drama.   And did it  because  I just can’t turn a blind eye to anything that I feel is wrong…or harmful…or potentially dangerous to someone.

I don’t have a fear of getting involved.  But I know that many people do not think like this.   And I know that many people may feel that I am putting my ownself  in jeopardy.   And if  I stopped to considered that…I might act like everybody else. 

But I am glad that  I do not.  I’ve  got nieces and nephews…and a son  that  I have to think about.   I just don’t want anything to happen to them.    So, let me try to clean up the problems now.   Later might be too late…for them and me.

But how could I not help somebody?

Or try to?

But I have never ran towards anything in order to be an observer…not even as a child.

That is something which I cannot understand.  Why would I run towards gun fire to see what is going on…or just to see who got shot…and laugh excitely about  it?

Now, that is stupid to me.

Or, why would I rush to see people fighting?

That’s dumb. 

If  anything…I go to see if  I can help…and whenever I am near a fight I go to break it up.    Not to laugh and cheer anything on.

But this is the mentality of  people…and it is definitely the mentality of  of  the kids.   Everything is a  joke…or funny.   But somebody being raped…or killed is not a joke.  And certainly not funny…nor is it entertainment.

This kind of thinking is dangerous for all mankind.  If  the new group of adults coming into this world are a bunch of  desensitized robots…uncaring…unfeeling…unthinking…uncompassionate ids….where will this world be?

How safe will any of us be…as the world falls into their hands?

I once had a lover who had been gang raped and sodomized…and who knows whatever else.    But I cannot tell you the impact it left upon her…and her life.   Every time she went to the bathroom she re-lived that situation.   That thing lived with her…it was in her insides and something she could not shake.   Though she was successful…as an actress…and part-time music teacher…that incident marked her private life.    That gang rape greatly colored her life in the in-between time.

She was not big in size…small  stature.  So, I can imagine just how helpless she must have felt…not to mention the terror of  it.    She never really talked about it except to say that it had happened.   And I did not push it.

So, how could someone…20 or more people witness something like that and not do anything?

How could we…any of  us be safe if everyone walking around us only cares about themselves…and have no compassion for anyone else?

There is a great need for serious consideration to be given for where will mankind be and the type of world and societies will dominate this planet in the next 20 to 30…or 50 years from now.   Everyting is a joke.   Blood…rape…murder…crimes of every conceivable kind and inconceiveable kind are happening today…and very high rates…escalated rates.  And nobody is paying attention to it. 

And not only a need for serious consideration…but something has to be done now regarding the attitude of  our youth to crime and criminal acts.  And high officials should be concerned now about what affects desensitizing our teens to blood and criminal acts via  computer games, movies, music videos etc.  will have upon the increase of  future criminal acts and the types of crimes prepetrated…and to what degree these crimes are acted out.

Some feel that the lack of anyone getting involved had to do with fear.  But if  their  fear is that great…then they should fear how much worst it is going to be  if  people continue to allow criminal acts to take place without something being done  now. 

FEAR?

They don’t have any fear yet…let the criminals continue acting out as they are acting out.

Fear only empowers those perpetrating the crimes.  Fear is the biggest thing that they have going for them.  That is why the Bible says….‘Fear not.’

The last thing you want to do…even with an animal…is appear to be afraid.  Or in other words…fearful. 

What happens when fear is taken out of the equation?

Then you have power…because the power ceases to be in the hands of  him or them that are trying  to terrorize you.   It is one of the first lessons you learned really early in life.   Usually while you were in grade school when it came to bullys…who  were  only as big and as bad as you let  them be.   But did you ever finally stand up to one…and saw how quickly the tables  turned around between you and them? 

While living in Chicago…I was at wits end.  I was being stalked…something I would suggest that no one try to do today.  Because I am no longer that person…believe me. 

But I became a nervous wreck under that situation.  My fear  absorbed me…totally.  I was well on my way to having a nervous breakdown behind it…had it not been for the Lord.  I could not walk down the street without stopping everytime I heard someone walking behind me.   Being  in  a large city like Chicago…this happened quite often as someone was always behind me…just not  normally  the person who was terrorizing me.     In the evening when I went home…I would throw open the door  to my apartment before entering and step in like police detectives…leaving the door wide open behind me.   I would go  from room to room peering  in trying to make sure no one was in my apartment…which definitely left me open for the person to enter into my apartment behind me.  But when fear has you…it has you…and you do not think clearly.   And when you are not thinking clearly…you leave yourself open  to a whole lot of  the things… anything can  happen to you.

I was tormented by fear.   So much so…that by the time I finally got through it I vowed never again.  I lived  in darkness…afraid to turn on my lights in apartment at night…afraid to answer the phone (this  was at a time before Caller-ID).  I will never go back to being in that state again.   Under any circumstances…or by anyone.

But at the end…the tables turned.   It took a dramatic turn…and had not God intervened I might probably be in prison now…and there for the rest of my life.  Because I would have killed the person.  I snapped…and in my snapping the tables turned…and my perpetrated went fleeing from me.  When I think of it now…it is so  Biblical….‘and I will make you enemies flee 7 ways before thee.’   And that is when it ended…when I finally stood up to the person…the phone calls…the following …the threats….everything…and I vowed ‘never…ever again’

And I have never feared anything…or anyone ever again.

And this is how I know how big a weapon fear is. 

And those who use it…count upon it being so.   They dominate neighborhoods…housing complexes…streets…cities…etc…using fear.

So, the more that people cease to do anything…if  indeed they are fearful…because I believe that most of  them just don’t care…as long as it doesn’t involve them or their family.    But those who are fearful of  doing  something to stop or aid somehow a victim of a criminal act…the more you empower those who perpetrate the crimes.  Thereby, in the end causing yourself  a greater harm…because you did nothing.  And those that you fear become stronger and more  more  aggressive if they are allowed to continue.   It is an unending situation…better to deal with it sooner rather than later. 

If  nobody cares about your neighborhood…then you should.   Because you do live there too.   And you should never allow anybody to chase you up or down a street…or make you run…or have you afraid to leave your home.

What happens when you become the victim?

And you will…one way or another…if you allow crime to fester unrestrained…or  actively sought to be kept down.

I was pretty sick reading about that man who had imprisoned his own daughter in a very small basement space for over 20 years of her life…breeding kids with her.   And all of this while living just above his daughter in the house with his wife…her mother.  That story made me sick for such a long time…so much so I could not talk about it…much less write about it.  But it is an example of the type of stories that we are reading and hearing about today.  But if this is what is going on today…hideous crimes…stomach turning crimes.  How much worst will these stories become in the future…if this trend continues?

Criminal activity is on an increase everywhere…and  much of it  we  never even hear about until somebody leaks something.  And many others  because the value of the poor people who have  fallen into the hands of some very sick people…well, their lives were just not worth looking into.

So, no investigation were ever initiated.

Take for instance this story….

It is very unfortunate when police officials pick and chose who is or is not worth looking for.  So many people go missing without the police going out to look for them while they might have been found yet alive.  But if  they…any of  these poor women in this story been some rich socialites, or high city officials   or lawyers…or  anybody with any degree of  money or some type of clout…no amount of expense or time would have been spared on their behalf.

There is an imbalance in the world…and it stretches all the way around the world.

http://news.aol.com/main/nc/article/bodies-found-in-anthony-sowells/746332

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/27/california.gang.rape.investigation/index.html

http://www.sphere.com/2009/10/30/cries-for-help-not-always-answered/?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sphere.com%2F2009%2F10%2F30%2Fcries-for-help-not-always-answered%2F

I know I have told this story in an earlier blog here… www.bsmith101.wordpress.com.   It is when one night…late  night…actually early morning…when my cousin, Vincent, was on his home from having been out clubing.  As he neared his apartment…in the dark of night he heard a woman scream out for help.   He went running in the direction on the cries and came upon the woman and her perpetrator.  He grab the man and flung him to the ground…and then held him down until the police came.

My cousin was a very tall and handsome gay male.  I have no doubt that most of  his life he had to deal with people snickering about him as he was very effeminate.  But he never hesitated to step aside for a woman…or get get up to offer his seat to a woman or elderly person… or help you remove your coat…or pull out your chair and hold it for you as you sat down.  He was more a man than most ‘so-called’ real men.  And not only  was  he a very nice…but also a very decent person…and caring in every way.  He really was someone who would give you the shirt off his back.  And if  it cost him…he gave to you regardless if he had suffer.

You could not have met a better person than him.

He would have never ran towards a fight to stand and watch it…but to pull the people apart.   Nor would he have stood around and watched a young girl or anyone being raped.  I wish I had a picture of  him…to put in this blog.  He was a hero.   And we need more like him.

Reggie Jackson of the New York Yankees was the same way.  His name had found its way  into  news headlines for more than baseball…more than once because of some acts of  heroism on his part…when he went to the aid of someone.

More people need to do it…and things would change.  Just think of 9/11…what not would have happened if the people on those first 2 airplanes had been more like the people on that  3rd airplane?

In looking up information of the gang rape…I happened to come by this story.   Though I had seen this picture of this woman many times…I never knew her story.  But it is sick.  In fact, it is more like beastiality.

She is a socialite…who married a man…wealthy man.   He had built a jungle on his property and had a great love for his cats…the type known as ‘lions.’   So, as she started to age and as a means of re-capturing his attention she decided to disfigure herself  like this purposely.  She is called the ‘lion woman.’   Because she went under the knife to have her face disfigured into that of a lion.

It is beastiality…in its highest form.

I think she likes it even more now…with all the attention that having it  done has  given her.   Talk about… what women won’t do.   Nobody is worth destroying yourself  for. 

What a sick mind…and it truly shows what having too much money and nothing concrete to do with it…can bring about.

Finally, in closing… I got an comment today on my Chastity Bono blog…which has been getting a tremedous amount of  hits lately.   This particular person was very disenchanted with my statements regarding Chastity and her sex change.  But he used a very interesting word while stating his point.  

That word was…    ‘transitioning.’  

Interesting…indeed.   

Transitioning…

Evidently, this person  felt that Chastity’s…or Chaz as she is calling herself these days…decision to undergo that surgery to remove somethings and to add some other things…   Well, that it is just a simple  little transition in life.   To a degree we  all  have to go through some transitioning  in our lives, I guess… overcoming some disappointments…some losses…some set-backs…aging….etc.   But the  altering of  ones sex is a bit more deeper  than a simple little transitioning phase.  And  I think most would agree with me about that.

I was reading something on a  quakco doctor…one that performs a lot of these type of  operations…sex changes…who is now a supposed woman himself.  After having undergone the operation himself  many years ago…it seems that all of his partners have been women who ‘underwent the operation.’   He became a woman…and they became supposed men.  Which means…they kind of  ended up in the same kind of situation that they would have been in…in the first place had they merely remained what they already had. 

Sick…

I wouldn’t let anybody who is not clear headed put a knife to me.  Most of these surgeons are quakes and definitely…these so-called plastic surgeons. 

We are living in a sick world…truly.   And we should all be concerned about where this world is going…meaning….in which direction it is headed in.   Things are being turned upside down.

And I am not really trying to pass judgement on anyone.  Because we all do crazy things…and years later wake up having  lots of regrets.  I still regret some things…many things in fact.  And in the process I have grown.  But thank goodness I did nothing that committed me for my whole entire life to a big mistake.  I was fortunate…no bless…because many can’t say that.

We can’t change people’s decisions about things concerning themselves…and what it is or isn’t that they want to do.   Nor can we  force things down people’s throats…or should we try.  That is one of the greatest beauties of  God…choice.   He desires that we should have it…and with the hope that we make the right ones.

Well, the day is almost over.  Its been quiet and I am trying to finish up on some things.  I want to complete some things before the new year comes in.  I want my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, to be out and available for sale…my website launched.  And a couple of  other things settled too.

So, I am looking forward to transitioning into 2010…working on some other  and new  things.  And to be well on my way to doing more for the Lord. 

And I look forward to it.

Well, God bless…

 THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.  You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card.  Thank you. 

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2009

Add a comment November 2, 2009

Obama’s speech to school children…21 murders Milwaukee

Really, what was all the fuss about?

Why were some so desparately against Obama delivering a speech to our school children?

What kind of  brainwashing were all those Republican conservatives worried about?

Every opportunity our children can get to hear from someone who can encourage and inspire them…it should be availed upon them.  And what a great thing for the President of this country to take the time out of  his busy schedule to go to a local high school,  and to impart his own personal story to them…and not only to tell students how important education is to them…but also to be a living and shining example  of  the heights that education can bring them.

What I wouldn’t have done to have been a student in a school where  the President of this country happened to stop by to challenge us to be successful.  And then to take the time to step down off the stage and to shake their hands…certainly an event those students in the Wakefield High School will remember for the rest of their lives.

Any parent who was suckered into keeping their child home for the purpose of missing President Obama’s speech to students…was seriously mis-informed.  And their child missed out on something not only historic…but great and beneficial to them.

Some things are just absurb.  And certain controversies utterly ridiculous.

Imagine parents sending notes to schools and telling school districts that they did not want their child to hear Obama’s speech to students. 

Imagine school districts making decisions not to allow any of their students to watch or hear it.

Then imagine a world full of bias, pomptous, ignorant and quite foolish people.   Oooh…you really don’t have to imagine that.  Just take a look around…the world is full of them…many sitting in high positions.  

http://news.aol.com/article/obama-school-speech-text/658197

It is hard to believe that it has taken 21 years for the police in Milwaukee to final solve a string of serial murders. 

A 21-Year Murder Spree?

After 21 years…Milwaukee police have finally apprehend a supposed murder of some 9 black women. 

Perhaps the fact that they were as called in the news article  and other media ‘a bunch of prositutes and addicts’   had something to do with  the reason why no real attention was given to this case.  

Over a period of 21 years, I have no doubt that perhaps there may have even a couple of  ‘copy cat’  murders thrown into that pan.  And why not?

After all, the police couldn’t have really cared in the first place because the victims were poor undesirables.  That’s what they were…undesirables…least ways maybe that is what the police in Milwaukee felt about them. 

Just trash…waiting to be thrown out or away.

Of no real human good…the lot of them.

So, their murders went barely touched for some 21 years.  City finances and that sort of thing, you know.   The money couldn’t be spared…and there were more important things to do with the city’s money. ..than to stop a slew of  murders against black women.

They were black, you know?

So, what did it really matter?  

And then for the Milwaukee  police department and city officials to want to pat themselves on the back for having finally possibly solved a 21 year old murder spree…how pious and self-righteous of  them.

How strange it is that we don’t  apply an equal value upon all life.  People have blown up abortion clinics and killed abortion doctors… calling themselves pro-life.  Yet, they would not get out to call for justice and demand that the police do something in regards to tracking  down a murder of young black women. 

It reminds me very much of the Atlanta child killings.  How long did that go on before the police really began to do something about it?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,155774,00.html

And yet…I have never believed that they arrested the right person or perhaps the only person responsible for all those young boys and a few girls who were killed throughout the city of  Atlanta from the period of 1979-1981.

There is a great injustice when skin color determines the amount of urgency, resources, effort and monies put into a case.

http://news.aol.com/article/suspect-arrested-in-milwaukee-serial/658134?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Fsuspect-arrested-in-milwaukee-serial%2F658134

http://www.jsonline.com/news/crime/45348447.html

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/05/19/wisconsin.serial.killer/index.html

While school has started I am very happy to say…you won’t find me in any classrooms this fall.  Well, not taking any classe anyways.  

No, because I am just to busy still looking  forward to the day that  my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, rolls off the press.   And when it does…I will be out promoting it.

Well, I’ ve got to get some sleep now.

Hope you enjoy your day. 

Well, God bless… and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2009

  THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.  You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card.  Thank you. 

Add a comment September 9, 2009

EXTREMISM…Chastity Bono

I had thought not to touch this story and just keep my private thoughts on it to myself…and share  them among friends only…and only if they asked me.  But after thinking about it I realized that I could not.

One of the things about coming out of something…is that you sometimes can become highly convicted in your stance against  whatever it is or was that you may have come out of.  Or in other words…things you no longer wallow in…or transgress in…indulge in…or no longer partake in…and was the way you used to be…etc…  So, you emerge from it  being  very strongly opposed to it.

You become very anti- it…about  whatever it was  or is that you used to do…or who you used to be…but now are not…or of  that which you no longer do…or indulge in.    You in fact…move all the way over to the far left side of the bar…and become an extremist regarding that issue…or thing that once had you bounded.  Usually, the farthest  you can get from it…emotionally and opinion-wise as well.

So, having already told you that I was once ‘in the life’  in several other blogs…meaning  I was a lesbian…gay…lived  in the homosexual lifestyle…then I feel I can freely talk on this subject.  But do not ask me anything about drugs or alcohol…or most of anything else…because I know little to nothing on such subjects…outside of the fact of what I have seen regarding the affects of them…or the after-affects of them.  That being said…

Chastity Bono, the daughter of Rock icons Sonny & Cher of the 70′s, decision to alter her sex…and the way that it is being presented in the media…really kind of disturbs me.  Not her decision to change her sex…because that is her choice…but it is the media (the type of coverage) on it that concerns me.

Having had been in the life for many years…some I don’t know…more than 30+ years…I have known many women.  But the people I knew…or should say know…as I still know them…and still converse with some of  them…though I do not hang out with them…but all of them were women who were happy to be women.  In fact…they celebrated their woman-ness… sought out places that were exclusively women… restaurants… bookstores… vacation spots… curise-liners… clubs… etc…

So, Chastity’s decision is not the norm… far from it, in fact.   Many lesbian women have no dealings with men.  And hate them for various historical reasons in regard to their lives and past histories.

Though today, I do see many more young girls trying to really do this thing…that is called ‘butch’ themselves up.  With the hanging pants…and all the other things they do.  But still it is not the norm.  And thank goodness for that.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/11/chastity-bono-becoming-a-man-2/?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl3|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tmz.com%2F2009%2F06%2F11%2Fchastity-bono-becoming-a-man-2%2F

Imagine this world…if  everybody decided that they wanted to change who God created them to be?

How whacked out this place would be?

Some people would be walking around calling themselves some kind of animal…maybe this is a bit  extreme.  But not that far fetch… considering some of the things that some people involve themselves in.

I can’t image wanting to change my sex to become a man.  I am so happy that I never had that conflict.  I mean I have always wondered…how it is that men go to the bathroom when they do the number 2?  

Do men sit on the toilet and have to hold that piece downward in their hands?   I don’t really know men like that as I was a lesbian.   So, I have no way of knowing.  But I do have a serious thing about germs.  I know I really wouldn’t want to do that.   I would be so afraid that I might touch some filthy toilet seat…if  I were out in public having to do that.   Though  rarely do I go to the bathroom while out.

And yes…I am a bit naive.  I do admit it.  There are many things that I do not know.

And since we are on the subject…   When they…men…stand over the urinals…all of that spattering…all over your pants legs.  Who wants to go through all of that?

Yes, I am happy to be a woman.  Though the men’s bathrooms tend to be a bit cleaner.   I have heard that.

But if…I were a man.  Why would I want to be a woman?

What would be the benefit of that?

I am just so glad that God does the selecting and choosing…as to what we will be.  Could you imagine a more confusing situation than that?   Trying to choose whether your child would male or female.   Though some scientist have tried to come up with a way of doing just that.  And many countries  put a premimium on one sex over  the other…the male species.  Though without women this world would come to a very sudden and complete end.

But  going back to my original train of thought…I just could not see myself as being a man…or having ever wanting to be one.  And thank goodness none of my gay women friends have had to battle with that either…nor any of my male friends.

I can imagine the pain that one must go through having that conflict.  Because that has to be one very big and hard inward battle going on to decide to do such a thing.

The truth of the matter, however, is this…the mind plays tricks…and if you are not careful you will fall into the trap.  Of  believing something that is not so.

If  you look into the mirror every day thinking that you hate what looks back and that-

“I would look good as a man.”

Or perhaps…as a woman.  Sooner or later you will begin to believe that you should have been born a man or a woman.   You will also start to believe that you see certain characteristics or qualities about yourself…which in reality  have been sub-consciously taken on…and/or implanted in your sub-conscious…which may not  truly be there…and do not really exist.   But because it is what you want to see and  placed in your mind…it is what you will see.  So, if you desire to see certain things…over time you may come to believe that you see them.

Then in turn you will believe that those characteristics verify the fact that you should be…and are really something else other than what you are.  And so you come to the final conclusion that through some trick or error of  nature you were born a woman rather than a man…or visa versa.

All that kind of thinking is a head-trip…a real mind game.  You will see what you want to see…you will feel what you believe you want to feel.

The mind is wicked…and highly deceptive.

For most of my life I have thought of myself as being unattractive…ugly in fact.  I never wanted mirrors arround…hated to take pictures…etc.   Because I hated seeing me.  It was not until I had to start taking pictures for my book cover…that I came to  realize that I am really not ugly.  In fact, I have to laugh…because of all the years I let get pass me believing myself to be ugly when I was not.

Then too, in my book I made a statement…which made me really have to think.  I state in my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, how I had been stalked at least 3 separate times in my life.  After writing that…I began to think about what it was those people saw in me that would have lead them to want to do that.  When I know many good-looking people…very good-looking…exceedingly good-looking…and they had never been stalked.

So, why me?

This is when I thought…again.

Here it was all those years I never realized that I was not ugly.   Because of my profession and always being the public eye…people gravitated to me.  And people who listen to you over the radio…

Well, they just fantasize  about everything…and they all believe they love you.  But I could not have looked that terribly bad…to have problems with 3 separate people at various times in my history.

But I never really knew until I looked into those pictures for my book…that I wasn’t as bad looking as I had thought  I had been for all of my years.  It is amazing.  But it was a mind game…which for me came about when I started thinking that I was not as good-looking as any of my sisters or brothers…as a young child.  And that shaped my thinking of myself for all of these years.

My mind had me tricked…I saw that which my mind allowed me to see.  And so I lived under that shell all of my life until about 6 months ago.

Let me take a quick station break:  my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE… is coming…. Yes, my book is  coming…I will definitely let you know when it is available for purchase.

Now…back to the subject.

I was deceived by my mind a 2nd time…when I fell into lesbianism.  But thank God…I didn’t sink so far down that I ever thought about mutilating myself…with a sex change.

http://www.usmagazine.com/healthylifestyle/news/chaz-bono-im-enjoying-life-as-a-man-20092910

And yes…I had met some hardcore women…who wore men’s clothes and under garments.  Some even who  thought it manly to beat up their lovers and/or girlfriends.  But I never heard any one of them talk about changing their sex…or wanting to do so…no matter how much outwardly they tried to emulate men.

Yes, though we were living in confusion…we were far from being that confused.  And I thank God…from removing me totally from it.  I no longer dwell in a ball of confusion…and under the cloud of lesbianism.

But the article that I read of  Chastity Bono’s decision to under-go a sex change was so accepting of it…as though it were a natual transition in life…something acceptable. I would hate to think that any poor child or teenage or another adult currently battling with issues over their sexuality…should read that  article and think that such a thing is either natural…or really acceptable.  Not acceptable to you or me…but for themselves.  As it goes against nature.

And there have been many articles and books written on the subject…some opposing and some pro.  But there have been many regrets regarding that whole process.  And I have seen much sadness and anguish among those fighting that battle.

As I mentioned in at least 2 other blogs…I did know a guy…who when I met him was in the process of under-going his sex change.  I met him as the women he presented himself  to me to be…as he had started coming to Salsa Soul Sisters meetingsa lesbian organization in New York City…and we all at the time  believed that he was a woman.  But from the time I met him…and I cannot call him ‘her’…I would be lying if I said that.  But from the time I met him…in the back of my mind I always felt that something about him was out of whack.

I have met many gay guys…but had never met one trying to become a lesbian before.  And neither had anyone else in Salsa Soul Sisters either…until we all met him…who presented himself as a woman to us all.   But when they found out…nothing could hold them back…those black lesbian women.

One night those women stormed into Salsa and turned that meeting out…because they were not having a biological man…turned lesbian…or turning lesbian…within their organization and on their board.  And they meant every word of it…and voted that night ‘that no one born biologically a man could ever sit on the board of Salsa Soul Sister, Inc. or become a member of  Salsa.’     That was their sentiment…and they were right.  I did agree…and still agree even though I am no longer a member.

The fact is…regardless of the pills and surgery…you will always be what God created…biologically.  You can change your name…your hair style…your walk…talk…even your game…or anything  and everything else you want to change.  But underneath it all…your real DNA…can’t be changed.  It can be confused…I guess with all that medication.   But  who you are…is who you are.  It is who you really are…and that can’t be changed no matter what.     No matter how much you dislike it…or dislike yourself.

I don’t know when I saw it…but it was on television.  I think it was a Barbara Walters’ special.  It was one of the saddest and most horrifying shows I had watched in my many years of watching TV.  It was a show on parents allowing their children to cross-dress.  By this I mean…there are parents who are allowing their very young pre-teen children…sons or daughters to decide that they were not whatever sex they had been borned…and dressing like whatever they wanted to be.

It was horrifying.  Truly, horrifying.

It made me sick to see a  4 or 5 year old being allowed to demean himself  or herself  in that fashion.   And they looked hideous.

At such young ages children being bred in a continuous state of high confusion…and their own parents abetting them in doing so.  It was terrifying…absolutely terrifying.

In one of those stories, Barbara visits with a family who allows their little boy to dress as a little girl…long hair…the whole 9 yards.   The little boy has a baby sister.  Her cup and everything about her is pink…while everything for him was blue…do note the word ‘was.’

The boy wanted the pink cup…the pink this and the pink that.  Well, it really doesn’t  take a rocket scientist to figure that thing out.  The little boy had become jealous of his little sister.  I don’t know…maybe the parents stopped doting on him and became pre-occupied with his little sister.  So, he of course wanting his parents attention once again…he might desire to become his little sister…or some how take her place in order to regain their…his parent’s attention and love again.

So, what does his little confused mind decide to do?

He starts wanting what she has… her things… clothing…etc.  He develops a desire to replace her… by becoming her.   Thus, a desire to be a little girl… as in his confused little mind he views it as being the root cause and remedy to his little situation.

It is not at all that he really wants to be a girl.  But he desires his parents’ attention again.   Which if his parents had taken any time with him…it would obvious to them.   That the love he felt that they have taken from him and given to the little girl…his sister…he wanted it back.

Then there is this other side of the coin.  If the little boy doesn’t like boy stuff…toys, sports etc..

So, what if  he doesn’t grow up playing baseball…or basketball…or watching sports.  It doesn’t mean you have to put your stamp all over him…and say-

“I know what…we’ll call him girl.”

And  dress him up like one.

Yes…I do know that some gay guys…and even some women… claim that they knew they were gay from the craddle.  But closer examination on the matter…might bring them to some other opinion if they really sat down and looked back at things in their history that they may have forgotten.

It is a mind game.  Some kids grow up thinking that they are the biggest and the baddest.  Some that they are stupid and don’t know anything.  Some believing that they are beautiful…some that they are smart.  It can vary depending upon who they are…what their social-economic backgrounds… neighborhoods… family… schools… churches…etc.. and what is going on within their home.   But over time it almost always changes…our preception of ourselves…and the world around us…and how we view ourselves in it.

Imagine a little child…4 or 5 years old trying to fight that battle everyday.   Of  having to go to school everyday…and trying to interact with other children…dressed as a little girl when he is a little boy.  It is a ticket to suicide…or drug abuse…and self hate.

Most gay guys can’t even deal with issues from their history…family rejection…etc. when they reach older ages.   They battle those issues most of their lives.    Which is why many of them suffer from alcholism, drug addictions…and indulge so heavily in all types of dangerous sexual practices.

Yes, sadly…I have seen and heard many gay people…mostly men…crying over their broken relationships with their families…endless cycle of  broken love relationships…etc.   Crying over their  lives wreked in pain and sorrow.   Dealing with dying lovers…ex’s …rejections…regrets… etc…etc…  It is hard no matter whether straight or gay to deal with such things.  It’s hard.  But then to have the added burden of  being rejected by your classmates… churches…and society too…makes it all the more worst…and painful…and as a kid?

All across the gay community there are vast levels of self-hate…fear…and self-destruction.  It is sad…very sad.  So, how could any loving or caring parent indulge their child  in any such way as to let them suffer with such thoughts…and conflicts that they…themselves have probably placed upon their child in the first place?   Of which the child may end up battling and trying to fight…and deal with for the rest of their lives.   When all they…the parent or parents of that little boy… had to do was get rid of all that ‘pink and blue’ stuff…and stop setting up stereotypes…and road blocks for their son.   And tried to give him…their  son some quality time.   Rather than to assist him into the further creation of confusion in his little life…by buying him girls clothes etc…and engage him in trying to emulate something which the child is not.  He is not a girl…nor a joke.  Or a plaything…he is a real person…who is on his way to  being badly damaged.

Being a woman encompasses a variety of things.  We do and think differently from the male species.  Our tendencies towards giving, sharing, helping, family, responsibilities, listening, conversing with others, aiding, depth of compassion, commitment, emotions, emotional strenght etc…and so much more are all quite different from men.   It is  far more than one group having a different set of sex organs from the other.  And all the pills and operations…and therapy in the world is not going to change this.

I personally  think that that particular Barbara Walter’s special should have never been aired.  There are some things better not put out there for public consumption.  People start to get simular ideas…and start following suit…copying eveything they see and ear.   We sadly live in a world of people who have  stopped thinking for themselves…and merely seek to duplicate…follow…and do likewise.  And for some people  it is just simplier to assist certain behavior rather than try to work to stem it.

Isn’t that a horrible why to be?

Even worst…to have that kind of parent…or parents.

We would all have been in trouble with those kind of parents…that were that Barbara Walter’s special.  Many parents from time to time feel helpless…but they do not give in to their helplessness.  No, another force kicks in…and they step it up…to the next level.  Parents have to…because all parents are faced with challenges when it comes to their children…at some point or other.  And you just can’t throw up your hands saying-

“I just can’t do anything.”

At that point…some people know that there is one other thing.  They start to pray.  There is power in it.

Finally, no matter what  Chastity’s decision concerning trying to alter her sex…she will always be known as woman…who had a sex change…if she proceeds with the operation and all those pills (which she probably already has done seeing how they have released the story).    But she will never be known as ‘a man’…no matter what she does to herself.  People may pretend…but in the back of their mind will be the fact that she was and will forever be…woman.

Well, in between, Chastity’s decision to change her sex…and that supposed man having another baby (another subject that I said I was not going to touch…as I have already given him rather her too much of my time already)…it has been a very busy week.

In the end Chastity will always be a woman who had the operation.  That is how people will see her…never as a bonafided man.   That only comes by birth.  It is the way people think.  And it is true really… and we should keep it that way.

Besides, if you are truly unhappy with yourself…do you really believe that changing your sex is going to do it?

I say no.

True happiness is something that you have to find within you first.  Putting up pretenses…or  making superficial changes…only brings about more unhappiness… and sadness.

How can you feel happy…when you put up a bunch of pretenses?

I have sat on the trains (the subway) in New York and watched the drag queens.   Unless they were out partying and hanging with friends did I see any gaiety.  Most of  time when I saw them…I saw a lot of saddess…emptiness…and loneliness.

I also talked to some and knew some.  It is how I knew of the inner conflicts.  Which a lot of gay women have too.  I didn’t I did…but I guess I must have.  Because I am so happy that I am out of the life…and have no intentions of ever going back into it.

It is a hard life…and if  the  truth be told.  Life is not  easy for most of us.   And all of  us have found something which we don’t like about ourselves.

But we deal with those things without trying to destory ourselves in the process…or tear ourselves apart.    And that is how I feel about sex change operation.   It is very much like  trying to go against the grain.

One other observation…  Chastity’s girlfriend really looks a bit like her mother.

Well, enjoy your weekend.   And I am still trying to catch up on my sleep.

UPDATE: ON CHAZ (Monday, September 5, 2011)….recently read that she will be on ‘DANCING WITH THE STARS’ this season.  Needless to say there has been an outcry against it.  And I am not really going to say much on it…except this.

Look for her to be voted off the show early.  Controversy brings about higher ratings.  And I have no doubt that some people are going to tune in just to see Chaz’ transformation for themselves.

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=667737&gt1=28103

Chaz was smart in that she only elected to make some outward changes…and not have other parts of her body touched.  Which makes me think of a conversation that I had recently with a cousin.

That conversation was about gay men who had the operation.  My cousin was trying to tell me that when the so-called ‘bottom’ partner… and not all gay men think as my cousin was trying to tell me.

What she was trying to tell me… as if she really knew anything about which she was talking about… that there was a thing known to gay males as the ‘bottom’ partner and the ‘top’ partner.  That is while they are engaging sexually 1 male is always the 1 on the bottom, while the other sexual partner is the 1 taking him sexually from his position on the top.

While not all of them… gay males operate like that.  And how do I know… because not all gay women operate that way either.  Some do… but not most.

I know this because my cousin Vincent… a gay male… would tell me about some of his partners who would try to force him into taking them sexually… which he never did.  But Vincent was not the norm… and had lost partners because of that.  Anyway… my female cousin who was talking about this was talking like this was the norm for the masses… which is not true.

So, I told her that the real thrill in homosexuality did not come from anything more than knowing that it was ’a man’ …or ‘a women’ depending upon the preference of the people dealing with each other sexually.   And I told her this in an attempt to explain that once someone went through the operation of having their sexual organs changed… that also changed the whole dynamics of their relationship.

Real homosexuals only want someon of their own sex …be it a man or women.  So, therefore if their lover underwent a sex change… they would cause many to get out of that relationship… because the person who underwent the sex change no longer had that part of them that attracted the other person to them in the first place.

Therefore, if the person’s mind becomes warted enough to want to take their body through some type of outter transformation… most elect to not touch their sexual organs.  Which is what Chaz had also elected not to do.

And even if  Chaz had chosen to do the entire thing …and get the whole thing done in terms of having had the final step done… the re-structuring of her sex organs… she still would be a woman.  No matter what she does.  It is utterly imposible to totally erase God’s stamp upon you …in terms of whom He has declared we shall be… male or female.

It is amazing to me how so many people like to talk about homosexuality as if they are in the know… and do not have any real understanding of it at all.

How in the world could my cousin…my female cousin… who had never really been in ‘the life’ as I had been… tell me anything about a life I was definitely a part of for many years… in regards to what our selections and sexual behaviors are that lifestyle?

I would know… because I lived the life.  And in it we… lesbian women were always tied in things… events and discussions etc. with the gay male population.  We shared spaces together, concerns, emotions, conflicts etc. all being homosexuals.  Which I was at that time… I was in the gay lifestyle.  And that is what Chaz is in… the gay lifestyle.

Having an operation can’t take you out of it… it can’t take you out of  being gay.  But it does indeed intrence you deeper in it.  Because you are making some extreme choices that later you might  just want to be able to step away from… if  or when your mind  …or prespective on this lifestyle changes.

This thing is deep…

God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009

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8 comments June 12, 2009

Getting kicked to the curb… Obama’s airplane…

During the middle of this week, I was out with my son and one of his little friends.  As I got into my son’s truck I noticed that she wasn’t her usually jovelle self.  I never got a clue until my son said to her over the course of our dinner-

“Oh, don’t start crying.”

To which she responded-

“I can’t help it.”

Shortly thereafter, her cell phoned rang and she answered it.  That is when I overheard what the problem was.

She began saying-

“Oooh, boobie.  If you take yourself from me…I want be able to hold you.  And do for you like I want to…You know how I like to hold you…and yeah cook for you.  If you remove yourself I can’t hold you and do that any more.”

I was on the verge of bursting out in laughter because  she sounded ridiculous.  

In essence, she was begging him to not drop her.

Now, I am not a mean spirited person…but you would’ve had to heard that conversation. 

I do not think I could have ever wanted somebody…any humanily body…that bad in my life.  Well, maybe I have…

I have been in my share of relationships…but I have never in my life brought myself to begging any one of them to staying with me.

Yes, as hard as it may seem.  I have been kicked to the curb more than a few times.  And yes, it did hurt.  But I never ever begged.

I won’t say that there may have been a time or 2 that I might have liked to have begged.  But I didn’t do it.

I have never dropped anybody in my life.  But I have been dropped.  I do know the pain of being dropped and yet trying to hold on.   Believe me…I know it well.

But I never begged.

In my wisdom now…I will tell you this. 

Anybody you have to beg to keep is not worth trying to hold on to.  And no matter how much you beg…eventually they are going to leave you anyway.  So, let them go from the on-set of whatever the situation is and they start telling you it is over.  And get on with the mourning process. 

Because in the end…you are going to end up mourning it anyways. 

So, better to start now rather than later…because you would be just putting it off.  And it will certainly be just as painful…if not more.

When somebody wants to leave you…they have their reasons.  And unless there is some type of benefit to staying with you…then they’re gone.  They may come back for a little while…but sooner or later they will be gone for good. 

So, release them and let them go now.   Soon enough you will be mourning over the next one.

As I stated in another one of these blogs…I had never been in type of relationship until I was 25 years old.  And I have also told you that… I have never dated.  Well… any boys… or men.   As sometime after becoming 25, I did what they called…‘came out as a lesbian.’  

I would say that I never really ‘came-out’ per-se.  As my profession wouldn’t let me…that is to say…because I was popular as a radio announcer I never presented myself as being openly gay.   Then, of course, there were my parents…and I would have never done anything to embarrassed them.  And I did not mind keeping my life to myself…and among my close friends.  It was, after all, my life.

I never felt that I had to go around telling  everyone what it was that I did in the bedroom…nor I was interested in what other people did in their’s…just as long as it did not involve children.

At any rate, most of my relationships during that period of my life only lasted for about 6 months or under.  Once I becamed involved with someone it always seemed to me as though it could not get past 6 months.   Finally, one did…because she was determined to be the one to do it.   She had told me that on several occasions…that’s how I know.  It lasted for all of 9 years…but even then she could only take but so much of me.  And finally, she too…kicked me to the curb. 

I must say that I did not mind when  it happening…but what hurt was how it happened.  The relationship had began to turn several years prior…and we had evolved into more or less just being friends.  And I could live with that…that is why I didn’t mind that she left…exited my life…and fnally kicked me to the curb.

She was exceedingly beautiful, and perhaps one of the smartest persons I had ever met.  She was well read and well versed on every subject…truly.  And there was one other thing about her. 

She saw in me something that I never saw.  And she was always telling me that she saw where I was going to be…and that she was not going to let me embarrassed her once I got there.

So, she was always correcting me…polishing up my speech…reading over my text…pointing out business fawls…and huge personality gafts in me.   I must say that without her…I would not be half of what I am today businesswise or otherwise.  God took that situation and used it for His good.

But eventually…yes, even she kicked me to curb.

But I never begged. 

That relationship had become a bit toxic for me.  But as I had never really been in any other long term relationship… and because of my own nature… though I wanted out… I couldn’t say it.   So, I’m happy that she ended that relationship for me.  

There are just some things perhaps… that I will never be good at.  And I think that this is one of them…kicking somebody to the curb.

I can take it…but I don’t think that I could ever dish it out.   But nobody better test me on it…because I am not all that forgiving.

Some people, however, are masters at it.  But not me.

But thank goodness when it is over…and you have finally gotten over it.  As a rule my mourning process…was always for a 2 year period.   And many times at the end, I  found myself wondering what it was that I had seen in that person in the first place.  Except for, of course, the person with whom I was with for 9 years. 

Yes, I got over it.   Which is usually done by finding someone else. 

Isn’t that always the way?

It can really speed up that process.

You lament somebody…until you find somebody new.

I have found…that through those years…having always been the one who was kicked to the curb.  I have found…that usually when I got over it…I was over it.  I do not look back…but there had been some laments.  But It was not on my part.

Time does it, I think.  People often have a tendency to look back and wish they hadn’t done something.

So, move on. 

Forget about Boobie. 

Can anyone you’ve given such a horrid nickname to really be that good?

I think not.   And certainly not enough worth begging for.

As I listened to that girl…and if you want me to say…young lady…I could not help but be thankful to God…I no longer go through anything like that any more.

God is good. 

Well, I just love Obama.

And yes, he was right to fire whomever that was who thought it was a good idea to fly Air Force One into the protected air space over the Statue of Liberty.

Of course, it was going to bring back memories of 9/11.

And yes…people would believe that New York City was again under attack.

How could they not?

That was the exact same air space…which every New Yorker knows is protected air space…that those airplanes flew over that hit the World Trade Center causing the earth to shake…the buildings to fall…people to jump for their lives…dark clouds of heavy smoke, suet and human ashes…amid streets of rumble …bodies… much havoc… and panic.

That day will never be erased from the minds and hearts of every New Yoker.  It was one of the most horrible days that I can remember.

It was a day of much confusion and panic… because no one knew exactly what was going on.   Many believing that the world was coming to an end…or that someone had declared war upon us…the darkness that fell upon New York that day left an undelible mark across the world…and particularly among those in New York City…and the tri-state area that will never be removed throughout the history of this country.

And all for a photo op?

That person had to be insane.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090427/us_nm/us_newyork_plane

http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Statue-of-Liberty-water-taxi-Liberty-Island/photo//090427/ids_photos_ts/r1340509400.jpg//s:/nm/20090427/us_nm/us_newyork_plane#photoViewer=/090509/480/85fcbc62c2c54fee9134de675e68acbe

I am happy that  Obama is letting those who work for him…know that he is no joke.  And that he is going to demand from them that they operate as professional and thinking…rational people.  And never dare to do anything that might embarrass him. 

Got up late today…after 12 noon and do not know what time I finally went to bed…though I laid down thinking I was only going to stretch out for a few minutes. Yes, I am still trying to put the finishing touches on my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE,   and the promo for youtube. 

Well,  it is getting closer…and closer to that time.  And I can’t wait.   

And as a final note…please do not let me be anywhere and overhear any conversations of yours.  I do not easedrop…and I do not like getting all up into people’s business.  I really do not want to be a party to it…but if you are going to sit up around me and put your business all out in the street.  I just might formulate an opinion on it.

Well, enjoy your weekend.

And you know something else…after looking at that first picture of the Statue of Liberty…that is not a woman.

Which reminds me of another time my son took me out this past week…with yet another friend of his.  For most of time we sat at that table eating…we were debating whether or not our waitress was a man or woman.  I had never noticed anything…and had always felt she was a woman. 

But it was my son’s friend who began that whole controversy.  And at the end finally I had to concede after taking a more indepth study of the person…arms in particular…that yes it was a man.  But she was nice anyway…not matter what.  And she…well, he did his job well.

Which reminds me of yesterday, while waiting around in the salon…I happened to overhear a conversation between a young girl and I guess…maybe her aunt or somebody related to her.  

The girl was probably no more than 10 or 12.  She was disclosing to the older person how someone in her class was talking about her…and calling her ‘gay.’

It made me think of that 11 year old boy who had hung himself and it was reported that he had done so because some kids or one of the other boys at his school was doing the exact same thing…calling him ‘gay.’

I think that it is sad…that such burdens are placed upon children today. 

Back when I was going to school…kids taunted you by calling you ‘fat’…or ‘scary cat’…or ‘chicken.’  

It is a shame that all these sexual labels and stigmatisisms are placed upon them…these children…teens…pre-teens etc… at such early ages…when it is hard enough just trying to go to school and get through your school lessons. 

God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009

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Add a comment May 9, 2009