Posts filed under: ‘the Taboo subject‘
A friend recently ask me shocked, as we were engaging in a conversation via the telephone around a variety of subjects. When some how or other the conversation fell upon poor little ole Elmo.
“You mean you haven’t heard?” my friend continued.
Then she commenced to ask me where I had been for the last year, as she claimed that the story surrounding Elmo had been a big 1. Evidently, I had not been reading much by way of the news because when I looked it up on Google… I found that my friend had been right. It had been a big story. A story of sex… underage boys and a Sesame Street employee.
It had to have been a very big and alarming surprising shock to the world of children… and their parents I am sure. Elmo was being sued. Well, not Elmo to be exact… but the man who had… or as my friend claimed to have been the creator of Elmo. I don’t know if he had been the creator of Elmo… but for the last 30 or so years, which I guess had been about as long as the period that my son last watched that show… being that he is now some 30 years old himself. The man had been the voice of the Sesame Street puppet named Elmo. A man by the name of Kevin Clash.
She said the guy was into young boys who were of mixed races, Hispanic and who had long flowing hair.
In Googling some pictures of the guy, here again my friend seemed to be correct. He did like boys about 15 or so years of age… with their hair a certain kind of way.
I have to say, “Where had I been when this story broke?”
I totally dislike stories like this… news items about people who prey upon people… destroying young lives …and particular the lives of children… even seniors… or those who suffer from some sort of mental diminished capacity. Or preying upon anyone in general.
In reading over the news articles on the internet all I could think of were those past Christmas commercials regarding Elmo products… in particular the tickle me Elmo doll. Elmo seemed for some reason to have captivated both the hearts of children and adults alike… and over time has become quite popular.
I thought of Melissa, a young school teacher friend of mine… whose email address was ‘Elmo something something’ or other. Can’t remember exactly what… which is why I have not been able to email Melissa for quite some time now. But she utterly loved Elmo.
I wonder how she feels now?
Well, I kind of know exactly how she feels… very much like me. But I never was into Elmo… so, I suspect that she has dropped any association with Elmo now. Though I must say… it really wasn’t Elmo’s fault.
But in case you never heard the story either. Sesame Street dropped the guy… Kelvin Clash… and the 4 law suits that had been issued against him by varying parties… were I guess… based upon some of the articles I read on story were dropped due to the statue of limitations. Though at least 1 of the articles I read said that 1 of the 4 boys… young men at this time… was paid off in a settlement $125,000.
Shame that for the most part they had no real legal recourse due to the law of the statues of limitation. Tragedies that happen in your life never go away. Ruining kids lives should never have a statue of limitations put upon them to prohibit them from coming back to seek damages, for things done to them to destroy their lives… as most kids try to forget those kinds of things. And during the time of the abuse children do not know anything about having a ‘legal recourse’ against perpetrators… or any laws that would protect them… though nothing can really protect them from such people. And for many it totally messes with their physique as to who they really are… and brings about conflicts in sexual identity.
Of 1 thing I am sure of… child abuse ruins lives… future relationships… dreams… and a sense of security and/or self-confidence and self-worth that children growing into adults may or may ever have.
She told me snickering into the phone, ‘Bern, I watched it four times.’
Yes, I finally caught it…. episode #1 on on-demand I saw it yesterday evening. And they will not have to worry about me having a desire to see another episode.
I had wondered why it was when I went up on YouTube to see some video reviews of the show… I had found so few of them? As a rule the people who watch these shows like throwing a camera… or their cell phone up on themselves while they give play by play comments on the shows. But not so with this show.
Now I know why. The show actually really is not worth talking about. And I too have to admit… like Bishop T. D. Jakes… that the show to be ‘junk.’ Absolutely and completely… pure ‘junk.’
It lacks any real reason for even being on TV outside of destroying what the Church is supposed to be really all about. It makes leadership in the Church look bad and in particular… leadership in the Black Church.
People in the secular world already have a tainted view of Church and of most people in the Church… particularly when it comes to so-called Pastors. Now this show only fuels those mis-perceptions.
Now what I am going to discuss next my friend, Linda and I did not discuss this story… however, as I just happened to come across it just now. But it struck a nerve so I decided to post it.
Somebody said to me…. ‘You know black people are starting to commit the same kind of crimes as white people.’ It was my cousin… now that I think back on it who said this to me just this week during a phone conversation I happened to have had with him.
But it is true that there were certain type of crimes which black people never ever used to commit… least ways that was the perception. In fact, when we heard that such and such type of crimes had been committed, such as mass murders… or people being buried in walls… or serial killings…etc… we often knew immediately that it could not have been a black person. Least ways that is what we thought…. but very rapidly this has all changed. We are becoming as guilty of committing crimes such as bondage… killing people and putting them in walls or floors (and still be living in the house) as everybody else …etc.
So, of course, this story would leap out at me… as almost all the other stories of teachers indulging in sex with their underage students… as far as I had read… were all white women. And now… here comes this story. A black woman… a math teacher… she had been carrying on sexual relations with under age boy students in the school she taught in, in Michigan.
Though as I begin to remember some things… I remember a young college student… a friend of mine… who had been involved with her high school counselor. She had been under age when the relationship started… and it went on and on through her years in college… and I guess afterwards. And they were both black.
So, I guess maybe the story of a black woman being charged with committing such a crime really should neither be a surprise nor a shock to me. And certainly not something that I thought only happened along other color lines.
I guess we are all guilty of narrow thinking. So, I must apologize for my narrow thinking in this …and perhaps many other areas in my life. It is ignorant to assume that only certain people do certain things. It is absolutely not true… and my remember of my college friend and her sexual relationship with her high school counselor certainly proves it. And I think that relationship messed up her entire life.
I often think that if any of us should have been married… it should have been her. But it never happened for her. And I think it was or is because she wasted all her valuable time on a loosing proposition… a rat. Her formative years were spent hanging on a string… of a worthless predator who stole that part of her life from her.
Well, God bless… hope you enjoy the rest of your week… and your soon to come weekend. They had said rain… but it did not come. Now, it is sunny and warm… beautiful. And I am looking for the rain to come any minute now… as they say sunshine all weekend long.
In going back to the female math teacher above and her sex scandal… I don’t know what goes wrong. But I do know that things go wrong in the mind of women. And if carried out we would all be in prison.
But then even men could say the same. The ‘thing’ is nothing short of demonic spirits… and if none of use are careful or prayed up… they can grab a hold of us all…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment October 17, 2013
It appears that my gospel blogs… or blogs about preachers or gospel music personalities etc. are infinitely more popular than most of my other blogs lately. I find that to be interesting.
Though that blog I wrote on that father who had impregnated 3 of his own daughters has been right up there since I posted that blog. However, that story was sick. But perhaps you like sick. If so, then you are sure to get a kick out of this… though I must say it is not funny at all… and really not something to get a kick out of… nor meant to be. But it appears that these kind of shocking stories today are more and more appealing to some people… and very appalling to many of us. Here is 1 that I have been thinking about since I read the story a week or so ago over the internet.
It is about some man in Boston who they tracked down via his internet content. He was… I guess greatly into child pornography. He had posted that he was into rapping and eating children… eating as in ‘eating chicken’… cannibalism. Needless to say I am so happy that they caught him. But I could not help but wonder if the man had carried out any of what he had posted about.
Based upon his web content and various magazines and pictures of children that the police had found in his home, the man was definitely a pedophile and also into satanism. Was it not enough just stealing the innocence of young children more than enough?
Why eat them as meat too?
What happens in the minds of these people that they allow themselves to get carried away with such deep dark thoughts that take up residence within them for so long… something that resisting them gets to be no option.
Don’t we all have thoughts that can be scary if we allowed them to linger?
One of cousins told me that she used to drink heavily but 1 day she said she realized she had to quit. She said that on that 1 day she was sitting in a restaurant and across from her was a mother with a young baby. She told me that the thought came to her mind suddenly to over to the baby and stab it death with her fork. She said that that was when she knew then that she had to stop drinking. And she did.
Could it be as simple as that?
Could all these deviant thoughts… crazy thoughts… frightening thoughts… be cast off of us if we just merely chose to refuse to carry out whatever that insane thing or deviant thing… or crazy thought… or frightening thing that came into our mind was.
I do know that such wild and intensely insane thoughts do come into peoples minds. Thoughts that when carried out… become unbelievable to those who knew of the person that perpetrated some heinously insane act.
I know this because such an insane thought came into my head once. It was around about the time after I had had… given birth to my son. It was something crazy and lingered with me for a few hours if not for days. I will not say what the thought was… but for some reason it had me, somewhat. I, of course, I never acted upon it… but it was a deviant and a mad thing… the though of carrying out an action which came into my mind and spirit.
For those of you who believe in Biblical text than you will understand this statement… though for some of you it may not have much of a meaning if any at all. But the Bible says, ‘We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with principalities, spiritual wickedness etc…’ It is those principalities… those strange dark forces, that if you are not careful you can slip into… and it will use you like a wet rag then cast you off like filthy rags ready for the fire.
My cousin fortunately had the hand of God upon her life… as did I. But I think of those who don’t know Him… and have no idea how to break the chain of the demonic spirit that is forcing them to carry out some depraved act… be it murder… rape… incest… cannibalism… etc.
This makes me think of that school teacher… or rather that notorious ex-school teacher… a woman who started having a sexual relationship with a 13 or 14 year old boy in her class. The draw of being sexually involved with that boy could not be broken off of her… no matter how much the court… our legal system had tried. She even went to prison… had been publicly humiliated and yet could not stop. But again and again she would be found with that boy. I recall seeing a TV news segment of 1 of her trials, as the woman stood before the court she began pleading for help. She said, ‘I need help.’ That’s when I realize she was helpless in doing what she continued to do with that young boy.
I doubt that the court or anyone in that courtroom really heard her. But I did… it radiated at me. She was doomed and needed to have that curse broken from her. Courts and judges… lawyers and things like that they do not understand anything like that. The operate in the natural. But are some very unnatural forces out there. But those who are those like me who know the Word of the Lord understand the spirits which can come in and attack people. People who like me knew what type of real help that woman was asking for. But she never got it. Some years later she was released from prison and went back at it… her and that boy. Though he was older now… and soon she began birthing children by him. I often think of her at times… knowing that there is no way that either of them are probably happy today.
There are those who are not strong enough … and they have no power through the power or strength… which in these cases none of us have any. Only through God can the demonic spirits be cast out. God alone can turn away the evil thoughts and actions that can creep into their minds and spirit. But they simply do not know Him… the people who do such unspeakable things. They have no relationship with God. It is not through any strength of our own that keeps any of us… or has kept us from carrying out some crazy or insane acts, but through the working of God in our lives.
Because such forces are beyond anything that we can personally fight… or ever hope to truly battle and win on our own. We need God to do it… as we simply do not have the power to do it. It takes that Greater and Higher Power to handle it for us… to act on our behaves… least we fall prey to the evil that lurks in our minds… as that school teacher and countless hundreds of thousands… probably millions of others.
When you read news stories of 13 and 14 year old kids killing 1 of their mother’s and then prepare to eat her liver… you have to realize that we are in the midst of some very dark times. More and more stories of cannibalism are coming into the news lately. There had been a time when such stories were big shockers…stories of people like Jeffery Dahmer. But not today. It appears to me that daily something on cannibalism can be found in the news… and it is very disturbing.
For years we had heard of people who were into things like witchcraft that carried out such acts as the drinking of human blood. Speaking of which when I once worked in the Village, down in New York City… I was ever so surprised when 1 of my co-workers came out with this statement, of wishing he was a vampire. Near the end of life hanging out in New York City, gay clubs and the Gay & Lesbian Center in New York… I had become to be weary with all the dog collars and black leather suits. They were starting to get strongly involved into satanism, I thought. Whips and bondage had started to take a hold upon them… dominatrix… S&M was the new pleasure.
It was not until a very attractive women came to Sala Soul 1 night that I realized just how much this thing was taking a hold of them. The meeting that Thursday night was about S&M… sadomasochism… whippings and bondage for sexual pleasure. I had noticed that she was dressed all in black leather, but I had not made the connection. It was appalling to me… actually down right shocking. I was not prepared for that kind of topic… nor will ever be. But that woman’s world was the world of S&M.
She spoke about this thing that she had fallen into with such excitement and joy… that it was really hard for me to remain in my seat and not hit the door. Whereas everyone else in the room seemed to be taken by this thing that this woman was inviting them to become involved in… I rejected it. It was hard for me to believe that anyone would ever believe that… it was the 1 who was in bondage… the person handcuffed or chained… or otherwise tied up and being whipped… was the person in control.
Come on, now do you really believe that?
If you are handcuffed and have put yourself in mercy of some crazy person with a belt or whip or paddle or some other torturous device… who is standing over you inflicting you with pain… do you believe you have any power to stop that person if they decide… Well, decide to kill you… or continue to whip you though you cry out STOP?
No, you have no power… to stop them. But this woman was saying something else. And if you were sitting on the moon… like many of my Sala Soul Sisters seemed to be that, as they were very engrossed with the topic and the woman. Then maybe you might have bought that… but I did not. And nobody on this planet can tell me anything different.
But this is the mind-set of many people… to begin dipping into the macabre… stepping deeper and deeper into darkness. They begin playing with things and thoughts that take them into deep dark places… where they become lost.
A year or so… or maybe a couple of years later I happened to come across 1 of young women who had been at that Sala Soul meeting on S&M. This woman had asked a lot of questions that night, and she really seemed more than slightly interested in S&M. I guess she truly was. Because when I came across her some time later she was wearing all black leather… the dress code of those in S&M… bondage. I even made a remark about it black leather attire… and saw a look come across her face as if I had found her out. She had emerged herself into that lifestyle… and was now 1 of them… and it is a lifestyle… a sub-culture of which even they have their own flag… a nation unto itself… of highly misguided people. That was the last Sala Soul Sisters meeting I ever went to… and from that point on I began to move further and further out of ‘the Life’… meaning gay life… being a lesbian. I began to realize I had less and less common with them, my fellow Sala Soul Sisters. My thoughts were changing… and at the end I had changed.
I thank God he put something in me that has kept me from totally going crazy… or following every insane whim that came into my mind. I had limits and barriers that I would never cross because of my early child training. Training does show up… and Biblical scripture is true. Train up a child in the way that it should go, and when he is old he will not depart.
Well, so much for that… just thought I would drop in and share a few words. Hope all is well with you… and that you continue to enjoy the rest of this week.
One final note on that man from Boston who was into rapping and eating children. He requested that the state give him life… but his sentence is only for a term of 25 years. I think the Judge should have heard him… and some kind of provision was written that he would never be release back into public life again. The man obviously knows he has no power to resist the deep dark forces that lurk within him.
Well, God bless… and I guess I’ll see ya’ the next time I decide that I have something on my mind. For the record this blog was 1 of hardest to find any YouTube video for… or some pictures I really liked. Most of the stuff was just to gross or nasty for me to want to use it. But then I guess that all really goes with the type of subject matter this blog was about. Not much that any of us really want to see or know about.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment October 1, 2013
I know all you reality freaks probably can’t wait until PREACHERS OF LA. hit your TV screens this fall. I can’t imagine the mess that that show will be.
It might just be a congregation breaker. And if they really let themselves go and show us themselves for real… many of you may not really like what they uncover.
So, just who are these 6 bold preachers who decided that they would take the challenge and allow TV cameras to follow them both in and outside of their churches… and exploit their personal lives?
In watching the trailer to the show you get the picture that it is really going to be about just 3 of the preachers… Bishop Noel Jones… Bishop Clarence McClendon… and Deitrick Haddon. But the other 3 are Bishop Ron Gibson… Pastor Wayne Chaney… and Pastor Jay Haizlip… the lesser known pastors.
I must say that I had not really thought much about it since I watch little to almost no television. So, therefore I wasn’t hit with a ton of commercials hyping this show to death in order to set me on the edge of my seat waiting to see it.
However, it was not until yesterday while looking up some YouTube videos for my blog which I posted yesterday, JESSE JUNIOR… BISHOP PAUL MORTON RETIRING…and ANTHONY WEINER A REAL JERK… that I happened to come across a video about Noel Jones and Lisa Raye being a couple.
Well, maybe I should say it like this… Not the stuff that First Ladies are made of. Well, let me take it a step further… and say it this way. Not the stuff that Church First Ladies are made of.
Haven’t we all?
But I must say that that I thought she made a very good First Lady of that little island that she happened to marry into… Turks and Caicos. And she did hold up very well under the pressure of that crazy king or whatever his title was over that island… whom she married.
Lets face it… Lisa is a very pretty girl. Well, I guess I should say… woman now. But preacher material?
Another thing… can I just say this?
No pastor or preacher should be dating anyone… whom he is not possibly looking at as a candidate for marriage. And no so-called man… especially a so-called Bishop or any pastor or any other supposed man of God, who is single… should be out impregnating women and not marrying them.
My Bible says a Bishop should be blameless. So, exactly where does that put Bishop Noel Jones?
Now, having said all of that let me get to what I was saying about the Bishop. For years Noel Jones portrayed himself as being this celibate preacher, following the divorce between him and his wife many many many many many years ago. You get that picture?
Born January 31, 1950, Noel Jones, a Jamaican, is the twin brother of R&B/Rocker singer Grace Jones of the 70′s. I can hear her sing ‘Pull Up To The Bumper, Baby’ now… think it might have been her biggest hit.
Anyhow, Bishop Noel Jones is the Pastor of a large mega-church, City of Refuge Church… and highly sought after as a preacher besides deciding to be featured as 1 of the 6 pastors to parade his life and affairs before TV audiences, on the up-coming reality TV show PREACHERS OF LA.
The last time I watched a television broadcast of Bishop Jones he was preaching on a subject that involved him relaying to his congregation his struggles to maintain himself sexually… and I think… winning. Being a very dynamic speaker and a man well versed with words, with a large vocabulary… his take on winning that battle and overcoming that demon even had me glued into that message.
But then I found out that Bishop Jones, if you did not read… or had not heard yet… had been less than forthcoming about his victory over his sexual urges. In researching information for this blog… which is something that I sometimes do… not often… but at times. When I want to lets say hit upon a topic that I am going to write about, but I am not sure about what little info I have. So, I do a little digging just to make sure of what I have heard or saw or read… and to see what else I can find to make my blog a bit more interesting. And I also like bringing some facts into my blogs… beside just my opinions which I am always full of.
So, while digging… I found out that the Bishop had impregnated a young woman, named Stacy Francis about a couple of years ago. Hmmmm….
Now, I’m smh… (smh means shaking my head for those of you who don’t know). Never would I have thought that because… Well… Well, because I thought the man honestly was gay. Which kind of goes back to what my friend, Sue… always says about me. She says… I think that everybody is gay. Though I say that is not true. Not EVERYBODY… just some people.
If you read my blog on Raven Symone supposedly being gay… then you would know that my friend, Sue’s, statement is far from being true. Because I certainly definitely don’t truly believe that Raven Symone is gay… no matter what she says. I think she is just going through a phase. It might even be just a Hollywood thang… because it seems to me that everybody almost in Hollywood these days has either a girlfriend or a boyfriend. As being gay in Hollywood seems to make for great news.
But lets get back to Noel Jones. After years of watching him during his morning church broadcasts… I think on BET… I had long thought that he was gay for all the obvious reasons. But 1 reason in particular… he just plain looks like it. Well, to me.
I know somebody just passed out… while somebody else just got mad because I’m talking about their pastor. Yes, I probably lost about half of my readers right there in having said that. But it is true. He just looks like a gay male to me… and if anybody has seen a lot of them I have. Because as you know I was once in ‘the life’ myself. And you kind of get to know them when you see them.
Thank God for redemption… truly.
And since I am talking about it right now… let me just add. For anybody who has come out of it… and I am talking about being gay…or homosexual… or lesbian… or whatever… they no longer look like it. The things… the look… the characteristics… how they talk… mannerisms… nuances etc… dress… style etc… all also change. This is really how you know that they truly are ‘new creatures’ in the Lord.
Not to say that the Bishop is gay… but he always struck me as being so.
Also, having been in ‘the life‘ I know the games and tricks people play… usually men… to try and hide their true sexuality. They court women that they have no physical interest in… some even get married… have children etc… all as a way of hiding who they really are.
So, Bishop Noel Jones messing with Lisa Raye… or having a child out of wedlock… it all just might be a sham. And probably will make for good TV for those of you who love drama… especially baby-mama/baby-daddy drama.
Forget me saying that Lisa was not Church First Lady material. But just how much of Bishop material is Noel Jones to having at least 1 child out of wedlock. And is carrying on sexually or otherwise with young women who could be this 60 year old man’s daughters?
My thoughts, however, are still out on the broadcast of the Preachers of LA. But I have 1 question…
Are we selling out the Church… to shine on TV and make an extra buck… and gain earthly fame?
And somebody tell me please… When did Deitrick Haddon move to L.A.?
When you look at the clothes that this pastor let his wife wear out of the house… you really have to wonder about the fate of the Church… and where it is headed?
Excuse me… but I just can’t get over the dress that that man… that PASTOR’S WIFE is wearing… exposing her breast like that. Did I say that I thought Lisa Raye might not be Church First Lady material?????
My, Lord… smh… again…
This thing is scary…
And can I add this?
When it has all been said and done I wouldn’t be surprise if half of them leave the show… and go up under IRS investigations for misusage of Church funds.
Whatever happened to ‘having all things in common?’
Or feeding the motherless and the fatherless… instead of driving around in exotic cars and living lavishly grand life’s while their congregations languish?
Well, God bless… well, it is Friday. I hope you have a blessed and enjoyable weekend. I am going to go and work around the yard tomorrow I think.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
6 comments August 16, 2013
Now, all of this from an ex-lesbian myself… and a person who has a friend who is FOREVER telling me how I think everybody is gay. Well, this story proves that to be wrong. Because I just cannot believe that Raven Symone is actually gay.
Maybe she is just going through a phase. All kids go through them… even me. And perhaps even you did too.
“A phase’… a time in our life when we tried different things then moved on.
Raven might well argue this point. But time will tell.
Supposedly involved in love relationship… or sexual relationship… Raven is said to be entangled with this woman… some ‘the next top model’ woman.
Now 27 Raven clearly at this point is supposed to be a grown woman. Least ways that is the supposed experts say. But I ask you-
At 27 were you really all that grown?
I wasn’t. And that is for sure.
It was not until I was 25 that I actually branched out and started to become sexually involved. I know… I know. I was late. But up until that point I was pretty much in Church with my parents. Well… not quite. I had stopped going to church though… but had to move out first before I could. But I had not yet hit the clubs or anything like it until a few months after I turned 25… a couple of years out of college.
This is when I started frequenting clubs… if you care to call it that. Because I really didn’t frequent clubs… and I was never a bar person because I simply did not drink… and wasn’t going to try. And I totally hated bars… and the kind of people who sat in them drinking most of their nights away.
In fact, when I did start going out it was to disco clubs… and yes they were gay… in New York… and Manhattan to be exact. And I only liked clubs with all women… primarily black women. So, that limited the places where I went. These were places like ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’… ‘Shahara,’ which was kind of mixed but up-scale… etc. I liked up-scale… but mostly went to ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’ because they had more black women. In fact, they were all mostly black… mostly Afro-centric.
But as I have stated in my previous blog,s in which I have wrote on this subject on being gay… or lesbian… and/or lesbianism. Since I was in media… a professional radio announcer… I was undercover, as most people were in my time. And during my time… when I was young being ‘out’ really wasn’t the ‘in-thing’ to do.
To tell you the truth ‘outing’ yourself… or coming out of the closet… really is a evolving thing. Though many people are now coming ‘out’ the masses, I would say have not. There are many who feel it would hurt their image… their businesses… their law practices… their family relationships… etc…etc..
So, as they call it today… I had to be on the down-low. Which I guess Raven is claiming to have been.. until now. Since she recently twitted that she is gay and can now get married… though she says she has not immediate plans to do so.
I never really hung out in town… rarely, and never became involved with anyone in my hometown. Which really was not by plan or design… it just ended up being that way. Because when I could not get to New York… I partied in a nearby town that had tons of black women who were very attractive… upwardly mobile and were ‘in the life.’ I did that until something happened with the Warehouse… it closed down. And then I discovered the wonders of New York City… and I do wonders.
I was 25 and the world was my playground. At those early ages of your young adulthood… you really are just trying to find yourself.
But going back to Raven. Having been removed from that life by some years now… and with no desire or intentions to ever go back into it… I always become sadden when I hear … read or see young girls who have gravitated towards a gay lifestyle. You see them everywhere today… and it is not hard to tell them either. And some of them appear to be quite young.
I know many who will not agree with me on this… and some will even get mad. But that is okay… get mad. And I really do not care who does or does not agree with me.
You cannot expect to be happy when you are living outside of the will of God.
There were, of course, numerous times I felt that I was quite happy while I was doing my thing ‘in the life’… that is what we called it then… besides saying ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I’m a lesbian.’ You would just say ‘I’m in the life.’
But way down deep I was not happy. I do realize that now… but didn’t then. And I am not saying that people cannot or are not lonely… unhappy… or do not shed tears in heterosexual life, or any other lifestyle. But therein lies the problem.
When you live in a world that you define yourself by your sexual preference… then this means you are living to satisfy your sexual being. In Church they call it being ‘carnal.’
I can clearly say that while I was in that life… sex had a hold of me. And when I was loosed from the bondage of being gay… a lesbian… and released from desiring sex during great periods of my waking time… I cannot tell you how happy I have come to be free of it all.
I now know real happiness… and have a freedom that I just cannot explain. When I didn’t have a lover while I was in that life… man… It was all I craved. That is because I was caught up in the sex. Sex had a hold of me. It controlled me. Not in the way that I just did anything… or went to bed with just anybody.
Today, I do not live defining myself sexually. There is no need.
Why would I want to?
My life is not defined sexually. I am greater than being just a sexual being. Sex no longer has its control over me. I am free. And I walk in liberty.
A very beautiful young lady, Raven is very much grown up… and definitely seems to have her head on in the right place, and clearly very much unlike most Hollywood types. It is my hope that if Raven Symone really is gay… and I say ‘if’ because a lot of women… and young girls try it. For some it is nu-vogue… the thing to do. To walk around telling people that they have a ‘girl-friend.’ It is kind of a hip thing for them.
But if Raven is… I hope that it is merely just a stage in her life. A stage that she will soon get over… and move on from it without too much pain. And that she is fortunate enough to be discovered by a wonderful man… who will love her… become her husband, and the father to her children.
Well, I have said it. Now, I guess I am going to hear from a lot of people who may disagree. But that is okay… I love hearing from you all… whether we are in agreeance of not.
Well, God bless… I’m waiting on my son now who is suppose to be coming to pick me up. So, let me just say quickly… I hope you have a beautiful rest of the week.
Add a comment August 7, 2013
Yesterday I read that Sandusky’s lawyers released to the press that the young men coming out against Penn State ex-coach Jerry Sandusky were not victims… but people who were coming forth ‘for the money.’
And you know what?
Oftentimes, victims do come forward for the money. Sometimes it might move some who would not step forward otherwise. But regards victims… are victims. Sandusky used his power, position and a shaddy charity to take advantage sexually of very young boys. They deserved to make him pay.
What a crazy statement to make. Money can’t undo what Sandusky has done.
Of course they should come forth…but all the money in the world will never change what was stolen from those young boys. They are due whatever financial compensation they can get.
But it will never be enough.
Money cannot recover your manhood.
Money cannot restore your innocence.
Money cannot remove the guilt you feel as a child when someone violates you.
Money cannot replace that which was stolen.
Nor can money reclaim that which was eroded and may have been destoryed inside those young boys, when someone enters you into something you are too young to even understand.
There is no doubt that the man was… or is a pedophile. He destoryed lives… and people knew about it and turned blinded eyes on it. They should all go down.
It was criminal. And no one reported it.
In this kind of thing …and for the number of years that Sandusky had been involved with young children… I am sure that there are many more victims. And if the truth be told… I believe that Jerry probably had a few of his friends involved in it too.
Truthfully, it would not surprise me if a ring of pedophiles becomes exposed before this whole story wraps up. A ring of others involved that includes other football personnel from Penn State… and professional staff… and possibly even players on the Penn State teams too.
The world of pedophiles is very large… and encompasses all kinds of unsuspecting people. Men from all walks of life… who love little boys… and the younger the better.
N.A.M.B.L.E.R. is a national association of men who seek out young boys for sex. In fact its initals stand for National Association of Men and Boys etc… etc… This organization is large. And their motto is ‘eight is too late.’
Sick isn’t it?
In reading some of the articles that are now surfacing on this story about complaints against Sandusky at least 1 mother some time ago contacted Penn State… when her son came home with wet hair. She called the campus officals complaining that Sandusky had done something to her son. So for some time the powers that be upon the campus of Penn State knew. Not only did they know but they also allowed Sandusky to do his thing in their locker rooms and showers upon their campus… knowing what he was doing. And they never tried to stop him.
In almost all cases of predators… whether a school teacher, coach, Boys Scout leader, preacher, priest etc… they seek out victims of a certain nature. Usually children without a father… or come from troubled homes… underprivilged and/or minority children etc. Children who cannot help themselves …or come from parents who do not have resources. And so it was with Sandusky… and his fake little organization that had been supposedly set up to aid underpriviledge children.
In reading the Washington Times article on this story… it states that Sandusky lived only a mile away from an elementary school. People who are into children sexually… try to get as close to them as many ways as possible.
I recall as little child when walking to school how the cars were lined up just a little beyond the school yard… with white men trying to intrigue us into their cars. And I say ‘white men’ because I cannot remember seeing any vehicles with black men or any other race doing it. But I do know that all races have sexual offenders …and those who seek out little children.
Because even though the cars awaiting us on our school block just outside of our school yard were white men… I had encounter Hispanic men… and black men quilty of doing the same… trying to entice little children to lure them into sex. I eventually did become 1 of them that got lured.
But once while working in Jersey… I was on the bus riding somewhere in Newark when I happened to glance out the window. I saw a black man in the broad daylight… in the middle of people on the sidewalk. There he was with his penis in his hand following behind this very young little girl… who trying to escape him ran into a corner store. And that man went into the store right behind her… with his penis still in his hand.
That scene shocked me. I often lament that I did not get off that bus and go back to help that little girl. That thought of her …that little girl and that …and that MAN stays in my mind. And I will forever regret not getting off that bus.
Men travel all over the world to places where they can indulge with very young girls and boys freely. The child sex trade is big… and I guess exploding. So many poor children around the globe are being exploited everywhere… even in this country for money. Some given up by their own parents in exchange for drugs and alochol …and/or cigarettes. And in poorer countries in exchange for food, housing or whatever else the sale of their little child can bring.
What a curel world.
Sandusky threw himself into things which gave him massive access to a lot of little boys. Even in the founding of an organization that was supposedly set up to help and aid underprivilged children, Sandusky put himself in an arena that availed more and more little boys to him. So much so that his organization somehow got parents to allow their sons to go and stay in his home with him and his wife.
At least 1 victim alleged that he cried out for her to help him… and she did nothing. Sandusky’s wife would be party to Sandusky’s crimes if she did claim that she knew. But there is no way that she could not have known… especially since so many others did… and so much of it took place within their own home. And it appears that after a point the man began to feel that he was untouchable.
When the charges started surfacing… what did Sandusky do?
He called some of his victims to come and have dinner with him. Who does that?
The next thing that he lawyers are going to claim is that Sandusky is insane… and probably that he was a victim of abuse himself. They always play those same game cards. If they can’t see where they can win the cases 1 way… lawyers shift their game play and start saying ‘he couldn’t help himself.’ ’He was under great strain.’ ‘His father never loved him’… and used to abuse him… or the man down the street… or his uncle. The story is always the same.
But if this were true than everyone would be a perpetrator… a pedophile… a sexual predator… an abuser of women, children and/or boys. But this is not so. And most people in some way or other have been abused.
If you remember John Gacy… the mass murder years ago from Chicago or a suburb outside of Chicago. He was a contractor who used to dress up as a clown and perform at all kinds of chartities, parades, kiddie parties etc. When a 15 year old turned up missing they discovered that Gacy had not only abducted him but killed him too. They found that Gacy had done the same to many other young boys …all of whom they discovered were buried behind the walls and under the floor broads of Gacy’s home.
We would all say that such a man must have been crazy.
How could he have done what he had done?
Now, that sounds crazy. But he was smart enough to continue to do what he had been doing for years. And who knows how long really that John Gacy had been raping and killing young boys before he thought about deposing of their bodies within the walls and floors of his own home?
Sandusky may look crazy now… and I would want to look crazy too if I thought I was faced with the rest of my life behind bars. But while he was grabbing a hold of those 10 and 11 year old boys… he wasn’t crazy. He was enjoying it… and worst of all he thought himself smart.
Didn’t say much about it… but it did not get pass me.
That Herman Cain was a real joke.
For a while it looked like the Republicans had decided to run a supposed ‘black man’ against President Obama. Now, that would have really have been a joke if they could have mustered it. But poor ol’ Herman had too many ghost in his closet.
The first thing I would like to look at regarding Herman Cain is why?
Why would you even think about running for President of the United States knowing what Herman knew?
Herman knew that he had a problem keeping his hands to himself.
Speaking of which… I have decided that I have really got to talk to some guy myself. Not Herman but somebody just like him.
Everytime I see this guy he has got to embrace me… and kiss me. I do not like it.
A couple of years I stopped the guy as he reached for me… saying ‘no.’ And I told him that I only wanted him to shake my hand if he had to make contact with me.
This I did… and I did write about this situation in a prior blog of mine. I did this after I was standing in a bank line …and the guy seeing me stepped into the bank, and then commenced to plant a kiss on the back of my neck.
Are you kidding me???????
At first it did not hit me… but when it did I was livid.
How dare that man sneak up behind me and kiss me on my neck …like he and I had something going on. Nothing could be further from the truth… but anybody witnessing that would have believed otherwise. The Bible tells us that we have to forsake even the illusion of un-holiness.
So, the very next time I saw the guy… here he came again reaching for me… and I stopped him. And I told him ‘no’ …and I broke it down for him believing I had settled that matter. And I had.
But it seems that he has totally forgotten that conversation these days.
If somebody told me that something I was doing made them uncomfortable… I would cease to do it. I respect other people’s space. But it seems that many people do not. And when it comes to men and women… men lack a lot of understanding. We don’t like just any ol’ body grabbing a hold of us… or kissing us.
And why should we?
Why does a woman have to tell you ‘no’ regarding anything pertaining to her?
It would seem that a man’s respect of women would automatically give way to the respect of her space.
But it does not. They clearly do not think like us.
Men feel that they can do to women whatever they want.
I do not feel it flattering to have some funky man grab a hold of me.
Nor do I just want everybody in this world to come and just freely lay a kiss on me.
Which is something that just happened to me only a couple of hours ago. Another person I wish would just stop.
With all the various disases going around… all kinds of things on people’s lips… tongues and mouth. No, I don’t want people coming up and kissing on me. And particularly people I certainly do not know… or hardly know… and plan on keeping that way.
Having worked for years with men… I am simply not tolerant of a lot of things now. Like I don’t want anybody calling me ‘baby.’ I listened to them calling each other ‘man’ and referring to each other by their names… but when it came to me… is was ‘honey.’
I was not anybody’s ‘honey.’ I had a name… and that name was just fine with me. My parents gave it to me… and called me by it all their lives.
So, why not everybody else?
But it was a way of degrading me… minimizing me. And it is a thing which men love to do to women in the work force.
They like keeping us in ‘our place.’
Herman Cain… it was clear to me even when I first heard him speak …that he was the kind of man I would have never liked working for. He sounded arrogant… puffed up… and filled with himself. Narcissistic in every possible way.
Which would account for why he would believe …knowing his history with women… and how many women who had filed charges against him… why he would think that such a man with ‘that kind’ of a history …as his would be qualified to run, and be sucessful in a bid for the Presidency of this country.
Yes, that would explain why.
I only say 1 thing… Bill Clinton.
And maybe you might say… John Kennedy too.
Okay, I’ll give you that. We could include the Senate and Congress too. And while we are going at it… let us not stop there… but include Governors and other elected officials… police officers… company heads etc… And we could go on forever… and this list does not exclude women. Because there have been a few.
Moral standards are not what they used to be… nor are they required it seems. Why would you quiz and question canidates for certain Cabinet offices in this country… and just allow people with obvious character fawls run for the highest office of this country?
Or any office?
Or run any school?
Or head up any church?
What are we thinking?
How could we be so caught up with people that we are willing to just lay aside certain obvious faults in their moral nature?
As much as I used to feel that I liked Bill Clinton back in the day… that’s slang for when he was President… and/or running for President… the truth of matter is this. The man had issues.
Herman Cain had and has issues. And his were bigger than Clinton’s. Because the man dotted upon himself so much… and saw no wrong in ‘him.’
What an egomaniac?
And lets not negate Herman’s propensity for lying.
“Who lies about things that are a matter of legal record?”
Forget ’999′… it would have been more like ’666′ if Herman got in.
Now, going back to the game plan. The plan was to chump up Cain to run against Obama. Thereby pitting 2 black men against each other… which ‘they’ felt would split the black vote. This in turn would allow… ‘their’ real guy… an outside canidate to ease into a win, and take the White House.
That was the political game plan of some key Republicans. It was the way that they were hoping would guarantee a win for them and their party.
Do we really look that DUMB????
We are really not the dumber race. Believe that if you believe nothing else.
Because ‘you’ had to know that was a game the Republicans was playing …by pretending Herman Cain was so popular among Republicans.
Who were they kidding?
Most Republicans hate Obama. And they hate him for the most part for no other reason than the fact that he is a black man.
And how dare he be black …and smart too.
Everything that Obama has tried to do the Republican Party has blocked. Any bill or intitative to get American moving and back on track they have hindered. Even down to refusing federal funds to begin rebuilting America’s infrastructure. All for the pleasure of claiming that Obama is a failure.
But Obama is not a failure. Failure is something which is not in Obama’s vocabulary. Nor does he believe in quitting because it appears that the deck is stacked against him. And do note the word ‘appears.’
I have come to know that oftentimes it not what it ‘appears’ to be… that is what actually is. That’s why I do not follow polls. Learned in my statistics class… No, it was in 1 of my poli-Sci classes on research… that taught me ‘it is how you phrase the question‘… to get the answer that you want. Pollsters are paid by interest groups… parties that want to slant whatever their interest is… in their favor by misleading people on a bunch of supposed facts that many times are not true and are meaningless.
So, the polls that showed Cain to be a favorite…
No, way in the world were the Republicans going to put any black man into the White House. And never 2 black Presidents… back to back?
They would have all curled up and died first.
So, that whole thing about Herman Cain was a myth. They were never going to let him in the White House. Not unless he was going in delivering some pizza.
Must say though that it is a shame when men in power be they white or black… or any nationality… sit in power, and chose to abuse the power vested in them. By proving themselves less than moral. They have no character. Cain clearly is a man without character.
If they choose not to say anything else about Obama… at least his character is certainly not an issue. And his desire to uphold the values of his office, and that as a husband and family man are sure and true.
Well, hope you had a good day. We haven’t had any more snow. But it has been cold. And for a while we had lots of rain… but that is sure to change as we move closer and closer to Christmas.
Hoping you have a joyous Christmas …just in case I do not post another blog between and Christmas just thought I would get it in now.
Well, God bless… and enjoy the rest of your week.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
2 comments December 14, 2011
It is baffling to me the times we now live in… and just how we happened to get here????
They are… the times we are now living in… they are strange and seem so foreign to me. The sickness of the crimes… the extreme insanity… and cruelity that seems to be abounding in these times.
Who ever before ever heard of women ripping unborn babies out the bellies of pregnant women for the purpose of stealing their children?
To read story… after story… Well, to find headline after headline of such is frightening to me. Not frightening in that I am afraid it will happen to me… because I am not pregnant. And doubt that I will be ever again.
But frightening in that such things are happening to anyone.
But how insane can you get to prepetrate such a cruel act upon another woman?
Or any acts of crime and/or crimes upon anyone?
I have not particularly cared for a lot of people. Well, not so many as that. It is really not my nature to distain people. And certainly if for some reason I should… to let it mount up in me turning into some kind of twisted wackco thang. No. I think not. I have neither the time or energy… to linger there in those kinds of deep and dark places in my mind. I am much too busy.
But for those where perhaps I might have found some kind of fault in… I have never thought about taking out or enacting any type of criminal act against them. Though I must admit to picking up a baseball bat or 2… Okay, maybe 3 or 4… Oh, alright… maybe 5 or 6 times… just to get my thought through …or to go after somebody. But that was all before I became saved. And never without due cause.
But I have never looked upon any woman… pregnant or otherwise …and wished that I was her… or that I had her baby. And then came up with a plan to replace her… or to steal her unborn… or born child. But people have. Some people have.
They truly and really have.
People try to pretend to be other people… and all kinds of craziness.
There was this guy in New York City who killed an elderly man, so that he could take his apartment and live in it. He also was living off the man’s social socurity… until they caught up with him.
But it goes beyond being sick… or insane… or being just plain crazy.
While these predators go around for the most part pretending to have given birth to the infant… if it survives… that they had illegally taken…while committing murder in order to obtain it.
Who would do this kind of thing???????
Who thinks up this kind of stuff????
Though clearly they all look like fruit cakes… and perhaps I should not slander fruit cakes in such a way. Because I used to kind of like them.
But who does this??????
And they are women of all colors, types, body sizes, come from different states, countries etc… etc… etc… And now they vary in ages as well. A 14 and 13 years did the exact same thing.
They take the baby from the belly of another woman in order to pretend that they had given birth to the baby. A baby that they either lost some how by mis-carriage or whatever. Or they never were pregnant with in the first place. So, they took the infant from the mother’s womb… so they could- Now, get this… let me say this slowly…
I cannot go any further with this.
Because if the truth be told there are some things which I just do not have any patience with. There are times that I think tax-payer’s money should not be wasted on. There are lots of ways tax-payers would be better served by the tax dollars taken out of each and every pay check, then by paying for cases like these that really do not warrant trials.
I know… I know…it would open the door to many of us being locked away for no cause at all. Because the system itself needs correction. BUT…
When you think about the economy… about the millions upon millions upon millions of people out of work… who could use another extension to their unemployment benefits …or whatever have you. There are plenty of places where money could go that would really serve some type of legitimate societal interest. But not the paying of lawyers and court costs for people like these women, in these cases cutting up women to steal unborn infants from their mother’s womb.
What would be their defense?
What defense could they have?
“I was crazy.”
We do not need to waste valuble court time to hear that.
And we have not even began to talk about the health issues that may surround the infants… or the lives and outcome of the murdered women’s other children, and family members if she had any.
Perhaps, it doesn’t sound Christian like to you… and I am a Christian.
I love the Lord… and He loves me. But in Biblical text we are informed to not lust after our neighbors possessions… it is called coveteness. Or to not envy them…that is coveteness too… and to do right by all men. And that ”thou shalt not kill.” Or “steal.”
So, I do not advocate killing such people… but I do believe they should be locked away. And kept away forever.
When I went up to read a story on 1 woman cutting a woman and stealing her infant, I in my wildest imagination never expected to see a listing of stories…one after another of simular acts.
I recall when I read the first story of this nature. It was some maybe 6 or 7 years ago.
The story centered around 2 women who had met over the internet… Craiglist or myspace ….or something like it.
One of the women was pregnant and the other woman befriended her. Over a period of time as their friendship grew… I guess… the pregnant woman gave the other woman her address. Whereupon near the time of pregnant woman’s delivery date for the birth of her child, the other woman went to whatever state where the pregnant woman lived and performed surgery upon the pregnant woman, killing her and removing the unborn infant from her body.
That was the very first time I had ever heard of that kind of story. So, it was a shock for me to find story after story after story… of women in various states all having done the same exact thing since that initial story.
This copy-cat thing is ridiculous. And the only way to deal with such things is to deal harshly with people who commit them.
But because the mind of people today is so warped the news sources should not divulge so much information about certain kinds of heinous crimes.
Also, I was grossly turned off by that reality show that showed doctors actually performing surgeries. Don’t know whether or not it still comes on… but is the need?
Who really needs to watch shows like that?
Or do our children really need video games that depict people realistically being blown apart, or shot to death, or cut up etc… etc…?
What are we developing here?????
One can clearly state that there is little reason for why the times are as they are today. Truly. There are a bunch of heartness conscienceless people walking around today. And we have only ourselves to blame… because of what we allow either in our homes via the television …or via our children’s video games… or in the movies on the big screen… or in the magazines… or whatever else and wherever else people consume negative images whether it be through music, or music videos, as well… we allow it.
It is amazing to me the things that people will get up and go marching against… such as same sex-marriages. Something which may never affect them, their family or anyone that they know. But they will picket against it…. vote against any politican remotely in favor of it, they will form rallies and bus trips to go to capitol statehouses. But they say nothing about what is allowed to strem into their homes, on their radios… through out their movies or even from page to page of the magazines put out form our consumption.
Whether Bobby marries Bobby or not is not anything that really deal with any of us personally. But the impact of what comes across the airwaves of our televisions and radios… and what is printed in our books and magazines, and movies does. And it can be harmful… hurtful… and can produce and inspire all kinds of criminal and violent acts.
We said nothing to the 10 Commanments being removed from Courtroom halls and buildings. We said nothing really about prayer being removed from schools… or the conversation of removing ‘In God we trust’ off of our currency.
When will we say something to something that really counts, is the question?
When will we ceased to be tossed to and fro with every whim like mindless and blind puppets?
There are a lot of things that should be challenged… and that serve no useful social purpose. Such as television shows that show people actually getting cut up during surgeries. And then we wonder why there suddenly is a rash of people out there using surgerical techniques while perpetrating various crimes.
It seems that there are those who have been voted into political office who think not about those whom they vowed to represent… but entered into the arena of politics so that they could establish some kind of name for themselves.
They consider not the needs of those whom they are vowed to serve and represent… whether or not they voted them in or not.
When 1 goes into political office it not for a chosen few… but for the masses of which they are said to be over their district… ward or whatever have you.
That being said…
“Why would any politican in his right mind vote down a plan that could possibly put millions back to work?”
Politics. That is the reason why.
There is no good reason behind hindering a bill that would put people to work rebuilding the infrastructure of this country. Clearly, it is a plan that could not fail… because bascially it calls for a lot of manual labor. As opposed to a bunch of computers or robots doing the work.
In a vote of 50 to 49 Obama’s Job Bill was defeated in the U.S. Senate. Every single Republican voted against the bill… inclusive of 2 turn-coat Democrats, Ben Nelson, Nebraska, and Jon Tester, Montana. The Jobs Bill needed 60 Senators to vote in favor of it in order for it to pass… to begin the process of putting thousands of Americans back onto the work rolls again.
There are people who do a lot of clicking and clacking… mostly because they want attention. Almost all of the Tea Party people can be classified as clickers and clackers. They only want some attention. Perhaps, they even have visions of themselves rising up out of the ranks to become some kind of major political player… or the next Barack Obama. Though they would never say that.
But they click and clack… posture… and pose… and never do anything for anyone. Because they can’t see beyond their own nose and selfish political goals.
The Jobs Bill needed to be passed. Not for the sake of Washington… but for the sake of the millions who have been out work …and can’t seem to find any solutions to their non-working dilemmas. They have been looking… but there is nothing out there.
Wouldn’t any bill that created any amount of substantials jobs been better than nothing?
To the people without 1 it would. But to a bunch of politicans who already have it made in the shade… quasi professions …politicans made up of lawyers… and now some doctors and businessmen… what do they have to worry about?
Their families are fed. Their bills are all being paid. They don’t have to worry about adequate health care… and they’veall got a job… supposedly representing you and me.
Every which way President Barack Obama has tried to re-boot this economy… and to get it in gear and restart it… along comes a bunch of Republican Politicans who would rather sabotage the President… rather than aid in helping America out of a dilemma that a former President… a Republican like themselves… put us all in.
A man who was a known and proven liar… yet nobody ever called him ‘liar.’ Yet, that word has been thrown at President Obama by so many Republicans… it makes you wonder what planet were they on while George W. Bush was sitting in the White House as President of the United States?
Well, God bless… and enjoy the rest of your week. How quickly these days are rolling by. We are mid-way through October already. Soon the rain drops in this picture will be replace by snow flakes. A welcome change… just hope that when it comes it won’t be too cold.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
1 comment October 14, 2011
You would think that 1 of the hottest topics at the Atlanta Hair Show would have been about some fantastic hair-do… but it wasn’t. Way from it.
The buzz on the floor and from booth to booth was about Will Smith and Jeda Pickett-Smith.
I had long ago wrote a glowing blog about them being great role models and a beautiful couple… but who knew that all was not what it seemed?
They seemed to be the perfect couple. Happy… and certainly with it all going on. But who knew what dark little secrets lurked deep down within?
Who knew that it was at all as it was made to seem?
I thought them happy. I thought them perfectly matched. I thought that they truly loved one another. I thought that there was nothing that could drive them apart. I thought…
Well, I thought all was well. But it seems that it wasn’t. And that it was far from being well.
It was my son that broke the news to me saying-
But who knew?
Well… I knew someone who knew… and she told me it many years ago saying-
“Awh, come on, Bern… don’t you see it. If you don’t then you are the only 1 who doesn’t.”
But I refused to accept it. But it seems that she was right… that same friend who I wrote about in my blog about the DeBarge family… the 1 who I used to laugh with when we would giggle over, and pick fun at how sissy the DeBarge brothers all seemed. Yeah, her…
And he said they got tired of having an open marriage.
I said -
“What? What do you mean an open marriage?”
I was thinking he was talking about the usual kind of thing maybe some other woman … or possibly another man. The man part was right… but he wasn’t talking about Jeda.
It was Will.
And my son said that everybody at the hair show was talking about it. Since the hair show was made up of a large number of gay men… I immediately began to think that this had to be true. Because gay men are in the know about such things as this. And from men to women at the hair show… they were all buzzing about it.
I have yet to pull myself up off the floor behind this. Some things really do come as such a surprise… and this was 1 for me. Though I have to say it again… my friend had told me it long ago, when Will was playing as the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.
It was something I guess I never wanted to see… and perhaps way down deep I was hoping it wasn’t so. And I STILL AM.
I really thought Will and Jeda made for a great couple. They seemed to be great parents …and they seemed to place a high value on family.
Though I wasn’t particular about their new-found religious beliefs… and how after coming into all that money they decided that they wanted to convert into becoming members of the Church of Scientology. Which struck me as a Hollywood thang… for the $20 million plus crowd. Which Will stepped into many years ago after leaping from the small screen onto the large screen… with a massive following.
It is disappointing really. But I guess we are all chased by demons at some point or other in our lives. The trick is to not allow them to consume us. And to fight until we win… and not them.
There seems to be a rash of men and women stepping into the gay lifestyle. For some it seems to be hip…even fashionable. But for others it is something that they have been drawn into … whether by their own fascination …or by some type of inducement… enticement… inquisitive nature … or whatever have you. And clearly I forgot about acts of abuse as another root cause for some.
But for whatever reason it seems to be growing. Or maybe it is that it is more open. Perhaps, the latter is probably the real case.
And it seems to me that I see so many young school kids making choices at early ages about such things. And many of them… especially the girls are deep into role-playing… meaning dressing or acting out the male role.
Having come out ‘the life’… meaning having been gay myself… I cannot help but feel for them. So, I study them and watch them… and can’t seem to take my eyes off them. Because I hate to see anyone commit their lives to something that is so anti-them.
I can’t say that I hated me. But I did hate what I looked like… hated my size… and I can’t remember what else. But I never really liked me.
I never thought I was pretty or anything like that. And my interest were not really in girl-ly things.
But I never desired to be a boy… and certainly not a man. I did like that part about me.
So, I never considered role-playing as an option for me… though for most of my relationships with women …I was designated as what would have been the male role. Because even in not playing roles… somehow you end up in them. Somebody is going to be more fem …and somebody butch. And it is because that is how life is… and we imitated life and the various categories of life as 2 people together.
But I really get disturbed at seeing so many young people gravitating towards an alternate lifestyle. And particular those who are so young… young girls and boys in the 7th or 8th grade.
CLICK. It has just dawn on me that I was in the 9th grade when some girl first started following me around… and later began to stick letters into my locker. How quickly we forget.
I rarely think of it now. Her letters turned into phone calls when she happen to come upon my sister 1 day… telling my sister that I had given her our phone number… and that she had lost it. So, my sister accommodated her by giving it to her again… or so she thought.
This is when I found out that all those mysterious letters in my locker were coming from a girl. It is funny because I never ever talked to that girl face 2 face… until much later in our lives. Because for 1 thing I was afraid of her…
Once I realized what was going on I soon began to notice that that girl used to walk pass all my classrooms. She used to just stand there outside my classrooms looking through the glass door at me. She also used to sneak into the 9th grade lunch… as she at the time was only an 8th grader… and she would always sit somewhere across from me… watching me… staring at me. It is funny how I had never noticed her before… but then I had thought it was some boy sending me all those letters.
Though the girl never tried to hurt me… or ask me to do anything sexually… I nevertheless kept my distance from her.
Believe it of not I had actually finished this blog…BUT LOST EVERYTHING BELOw THIS. So, at some point maybe I may come back and redo it. But not right now …or tonight it is after 4 AM…
So, please forgive me while I get some sleep.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
Add a comment August 24, 2011
How do you jeopardize everything by getting caught up in virtual sex?
Believe it or not so many people are caught up in sexual internet encounters. They are intrigued with meeting up with sexual partners over the internet…and go rushing to get back on-line day after day… or night after night to continue their on-line internet intrigue of sexual encounters. With many of them… ‘the people’ doing this…ending up rushing off to meet physically with their virtual love interest.
You would not believe the numbers…
Yes, ‘the NUMBERS’ of people that become introduced via social networks over the computer is astounding. And they become so wrapped up in technical instruments… be it their computer or their cell phone… their ipad… or laptop …as long as it keeps them plugged into whoever it is that is whetting their sexual appetites over those instruments.
What is the intrigue?
What is the enticement?
What makes so many men and women crazy enough to get so deeply involved in this kind of thing?
And you would be surprised about the number of women and men who are in ‘the church’ who are as involved in this type of behavior… if not more so than those outside of the church.
I first learned of this when I happened to be downtown Brooklyn preparing to get ready for an edit session, when an older minister came swinging into the room. He proclaimed that he was on his way out of town but wanted to check on something over the computer. The room was lined with computers… and he fell into a seat at 1 of them… and he began talking to me as he struck the keypad to the computer.
He told me how he was meeting up with women over the internet for sex, and that this was how he was now spending much of his time.
Without any shame or remorse he began opening up pictures over the internet to show me various black women he had carried on with… and was now carrying on with. They were mostly women outside of New York… a lot of them in the south. But I was…
Well, I was shocked.
All I could think was…
“What kind of Preacher is this?”
I stood there looking down on the man… as he gleefully went about his task of communicating with these women over the internet. I could not phantom myself wanting to do anything like that.
That man had it bad… but if I thought he was bad… 1 of my sisters overtook him. And soon after…
Well, maybe a year or so later after finding out about her absorbtion in this mess… I came to find out that thousands of women had fallen into the very same trick bag. And they too were rushing off to points unknown… like crazy to meet up with men that they had become enticed with over the internet.
Not to mention the hundreds of women who up and marry strangers that they become entangled with over their computers.
This thing is an epidemic. Truly…
I don’t understand it… but I know that it can all happen quickly.
I recall when I first started learning the computer… which believe it or not really wasn’t so long ago. Oh… yes it was… now that I think about it. It was about 10 years ago… No, I think a little more.
My then lover had taken it upon herself to teach me how to get started. We had gone up over to the Black Voices’ site into a chat room.
Don’t hear too much about them today… since 1 on 1 conversations have proven to be far more better…I guess. You also don’t have wonder about who is talking to who. And besides the technology has improved vastly. It has become by far very much more advanced.
But back then it wasn’t all that shabby either over a period of time… basically slower… much slower.
But getting back to what I was saying… as we were sitting there at the computer… me and my lover… I got my first ‘IM.’ I didn’t even know what the thing was… it was an ‘instant message’ she told me. But it was really more like an ‘instant photo.’
Wow… this was great I thought. But my lover didn’t like it… because the woman was attractive and told me all kinds of information about herself. She lived in D.C. etc…etc… But that thang came so quick… it was just like that. And if my lover had not been sitting there I might have struck up a conversation with that woman.
But today the technology is even better… and quicker. The systems are more compact and lighter as well. You don’t need to sit at your dusty computer all night anymore. All you need is your cell phone or ipad… or whatever you have and the possibilities are unlimited.
But would you really risk it all for some lewd encounter over the internet?
I was never really a chat room person. But the 1 sister I referenced above… she stayed there. Now, she is on to the next level…social networks. First it was myspace…now facebook… and who knows what else.
She has met countless men during the course of these past …I don’t know …but I am sure more than 10 years of being involved in this type of behavior. She is overcome by it… and sadly many many …many other women are too.
Personally, I think it is just a step up from prostitution. You are just not getting paid for it. Well, maybe they are if you consider dinner and a cheap hotel constellation for your services.
Needless to say… I have spent many hours considering the actions which she takes so lightly… and prayerfully so. I find it hard to believe that anyone would trust such encounters… if for no other reason than just the health risk alone.
How do you so willingly trust people who many of them over the internet… use a bunch of alias’… and tell a bunch of lies.
And if they really had anything going on in their lives would not have to be meeting up with people over the internet.
And the worst thing about it is this…
- How do you go running off to meet up with somebody you don’t even know?
And all that you do know is what they have told you… which for the most case is a bunch of nothing. Just some stuff to make you all hot and bothered… and eager to give them what they want.
Maybe, I am not the brightest or the smartest… but I am not going to involve myself with seeking out people over the internet to fall into bed with… or with the hope that they will become my husband or wife.
The old fashion way of meeting people… and getting to know people worked just fine for me when I was doing that kind of thing. And I would never be fool enough to want to risk my life… or livelihood on a virtual reality relationship of any sort.
Evidently, Congressman Weiner was quite proud of his lower half. So much so that he would take pictures of it and forward them out to women …and possibly young girls… over the internet.
It is all so boyish to me… childish. I recall when growing up… and it seemed that young boys are so anxious to show you their stuff. I really cannot remember how many times those of the male species had exposed themselves to me. Or tried to grab my hand and try to force me to touch something that I did not want to touch… that was attached to them.
But certainly by the time they become adults… I would think that they would have all grown out of obsession with it. But not so.
Once while standing down on the platform of the subway waiting on my train… I happened to glance across to the platform just across from me. There staring at me was a man openly exposed with his penis in hand and ejaculating.
I have no idea of what all the intrigue with their lower part is… but somehow those men who have not outgrown playing with themselves in public places… or flashing themselves at women… truly they need to get a life. And put their hands and heads on bigger and brighter things in this world.
And some women are just as bad… but they do it in other less obvious ways.
No doubt it is truly a spirit which overtakes people. But the Bible says… ‘be ye not enticed.’
I find nothing enticing in it. I have always shied away from people who seemed to be too sexually aggressive. I found it to be a big turn off. Today… though I do not dwell on sex… but I know that many do.
I am so happy that God released me from the trap that I was in. I used to be driven by sexual desire. It was all I could think of.
Some might say that I was a late bloomer since I had not dealt sexually until after I hit the ripe old age of 25. But even then I was timid… highly selective… and quite discrete.
But sexual desire had me. It held me captive. But thank God… He set this captive free… and I now walk in liberty.
I cannot think of anything I would rather not do …than to once again fall prey to my old sexual ways. To be caught up in sex. It was all I would think about… and all I wanted to do. I am soooooooo happy to be free.
But Weiner was as dumb as they get.
As much as I was driven by my desires… I never did anything that would make a fool out of me.
Perhaps, I was a bit prudish in my ways. I had heard it said of me… that I liked doing it… but I just didn’t like talking about it. Nor was I willing to film any video tape footage of me indulging sexually… or take any photos of me naked. I have to admit that… at the time I liked to hang out at a certain nude beach… but that was the extent of my public exposure.
Once a woman sent me a nude photo of herself. This was before computers… when I opened the envelope I was horrified. I dropped that picture like it was something hot. The woman was totally naked… and she had positioned herself with her legs wide open. I will stop there.
I could barely pick up that picture. I didn’t even want to touch it to stuff it back into an envelope and forward it right back to her. How dare anyone send me such filth. I forgot what I wrote back to that woman… but it was not nice.
No rational person would involve themselves in such behavior. The man had a wife who based upon the news is currently pregnant with their first child… and he was or ‘is’ a Congressman. How could he have acted so foolishly …and so carelessly.
The Bible says… ‘what is done in the dark will come to light.’
Weiner after initially lying… saying that a hacker had done it… he now states that he mistakenly sent the photo of his lower part by error over Tweeter. He stated that when he realized his mistake he quickly tried to remove the photo. Needless to say… by that time it was a little too late.
In all of his excitement… Weiner certainly ‘exposed’ himself. It came to light…
Well, I really only got up to go to the bathroom. Never intended to write this… but I had fallen asleep with my son’s laptop resting partly on my stomach and upper legs.
So, just as I crawled back into bed… I decided to check the news headlines. And it read… ‘Weiner admits lewd tweets.’
After nearly 2 weeks of lying about it Anthony Weiner finally decided to breakdown and tell somewhat of the truth. It is kind of like John Edwards over his mistress and baby outside of his marriage… or like Bill Clinton in the White House with Monica. Or like that Senator in the men’s bathroom… something about his foot and the stall next to his.
We have been through it before… and it always seems that if we give it a week or so the story will change. The lie becomes a half truth… because you can’t really believe that a liar is really going to tell you the truth… not the whole or even the real truth. They only admit to just enough… but never tell us really ‘the truth’ concerning the matter for which they have become embroiled.
We never quite get the whole sordid truth out of them.
But do we really need to… or expect to?
Do you recognize any of these faces?
Do you remember any of their initial stories?
Wait a minute… I think that there are a few pictures missing.
Is morality a thing of the past?
I have got to get some sleep. It is starting to rain now. I hear it lightly hitting the windowpane. Good night… rather morning…and enjoy your weekend.
Well, God bless…
Add a comment June 11, 2011
I have never thought much of Arnold Schwarzenegger since a controversy once arose about him being a racist. I have since forgotten the details… but I think it had to do with him not hiring minorities within his staff, as governor of California. Or maybe it was something to do with him not having any minorities in his movies.
Through the course of living we have grown accustom to reading and hearing stories of men and women who have fallen down… who were living double lives and baring children with people outside of their vows of matrimony. So, this story about Arnold Schwarzenegger really shouldn’t be a great surprise. He is afterall… a man.
Don’t you hate hearing that?
“Well, he’s just doing what men do.”
“All men do it.”
“Maybe he wasn’t getting any at home.”
And the list goes on and on… as to the kinds of things people will say.
But sometimes we are caught off guard. People who we never would have suspected… though I would never classify Arnold as 1 of those as there had been rumors. Things about him groping and feeling up on women. But there were people like for instance… John Edwards. Even watching that mess unfold while standing at the counter of a local corner store… I just could not believe it. Not him was all I kept saying. Not goody 2-shoes… squeaky clean John Edwards. The John Edwards who said-
“I’m in love with my childhood sweetheart… that John Edwards?”
Then before him… there rose up Jesse Jackson. What a fine dude he was in his day. And I do mean fine.
He was the 1 that all the networks turned to concerning ‘black issues.’ He was a man for all season when it came to… his peoples…
Up to the point where he called Obama the ‘N’ word. But let’s go back before that… to those pictures displayed upon the front page of the New York Post and everywhere else… of Jesse… and ‘the’ woman… the very pregnant woman …carrying his ‘love’ child… who at the time that story broke… she had already had the baby. That was the picture with him and Bill Clinton…another 1… and her just grinning like there was not going to be a tomorrow for any of them.
Yes…the ‘right’ Reverend Jesse Jackson. Needless to say that controversy certainly changed a lot of people’s opinion about him… and what he truly represented. Which as already mentioned… was compounded by that little incident with him talking off camera with an open mic on… talking some crazy stuff about what he would like to do to Obama while referencing him with the ‘N’ word.
Clearly, if I had been Jesse’s wife… and I have said it over and over… since seeing that 1 picture in the New York Post. The 1 with the woman being 7 or 8 months pregnant with Jesse standing… I think behind her… grinning from ear to ear with his hands stretch around her inflated belly.
Oh, yeah… I would have been just like Morgan Freeman’s wife, and got me 1 of those high power lawyers. And he would have been seeing stars for the rest of life… after I got through with him. He would have been too dizzy to ever walk up onto any stage ever again… when I got through with him. But I guess Jesse’s wife is kinder… gentler… and more forgiving than I am.
But some women when they have had enough… they truly have had enough. And Morgan Freeman’s wife was 1 of those women.
One could argue… what was he thinking?
Maybe it was a lapse in judgment.
But for how many years did he suffer that lapse?
I am talking about Schwarzenegger now. What could he have been thinking? And to be doing it with someone who worked within his own house. Who was impregnated with his child at about the exact same time as his wife with their last child.
And who allowed the other woman… a maid to bring that child into the house of his wife… where this little boy probably played with his other son… the 1 born about the same time as the child he fathered with the maid… a woman who worked for his wife… aiding Maria around the house… and probably with her children as well.
Is this a confusing story?
Obviously, not. It did not seem to confuse Arnold at all. Because some how during the course of the last 10 to 13 years… the span of the life and birth of his outside son… he never slipped up. That is Maria Striver claims to have never known about the child before Arnold finally told her about him some weeks ago. Whereupon, she packed up and moved out… taking her children with her.
Not to be or seem evil… but I never thought the Striver/Schwarzenegger marriage was a good match. And it goes beyond him being Republican… and her being deeply rooted as a Democrat.
It just seemed to me that Arnold Schwarzenegger had a need to legitimize himself. Coming from Austria… and having a funny last name… combined with a funny and then quite thick accent… as well as… I guess he had some political ambitions. What better way to create for himself the type of American acceptance that he might not have ever gotten any other way than by marrying a Kennedy.
In seeing a picture of the woman… 1 would have to wonder what did Arnold see in her. She appears to be older than Maria… and I don’t know what she looked like some 20 years ago when she started working for the Schwarzenegger family… but that is all gone now. But then I thought that about the woman John Edwards impregnated… and about Marla Maples or Naples…or whatever her name was. The woman who Donald Trump took up with… and soon married. She probably was pregnant too… because that whole thang happened pretty quick. And soon it was over.
They snub their noses at those who do not have the money that they do… or who do not live quite as well off as they do. I’m talking about the supposed ‘high class’ who talk about… ‘all they do is make babies.’ But when push comes to shove they themselves are about as ‘ghetto fabulous’ as those they often look down upon. And they have far less class in the dealings of their own infidelity… than those they shun.
Though now nearing the end of his term as a governor, I have no doubt… Arnold felt it now safe to disclose his little secret. However, what men do not take into account is how women feel about men who cheat. And particularly if they not only cheat …but also make someone pregnant in the process of their cheating. And don’t let them walk around for years like they had not done anything… pretending.
But Arnold was so bold… he got the woman pregnant and then decided he wanted to be governor too. That is about just as bad as John Edwards deciding to run for President of the United States a second time… while his wife is dying of cancer… and his mistress was pregnant.
And to put the icing upon the cake for Arnold… it was all done within the preview of his wife and children. Right there under their own noses.
This is why I will never be able to stand that little guy… Woody Allen. I will never support him or anything that he does. To think that Mia Farrow adopted some children… and during the course of some time… he began taking lewd and questionable pictures of the then quite young girl… whom he later divorces Mia Farrow for… so that he could marry her.
What kind of craziness was that?
Clearly, the man had… and has problems. And I for 1 do no sanction them.
Another rat was… or is… that Rudolph Giuliani. Yeah, that guy from New York City who used to be the Mayor…then ran for President… and might try to run again. But he will never make it. Because women do not forget.
Giuliani… when he was Mayor of New York started seeing this women. This woman… he would bring to Gracie Mansion… the Mayor’s place of residence. in New York. This mind you was where his wife and his son lived. And Giuliani… the good mayor… would have this woman staying there with him… under the same roof with his wife and child.
What kind of a dog is that?
At least in the ghetto… most men know not to try that. If the woman doesn’t have an apartment of her own… then they know how to find a cheap motel or hotel. But ain’t nobody in the ghetto going to pull up to his wife’s house talking about he going to bring some other woman… in there to do his thing. Huh-uh… that ain’t happening… ever. Not with the wife knowing about it… it is not. Definitely not.
You have got to be kidding. And I am not joking about this… as this type of behavior is not acceptable. It is immoral …and it can be traced throughout history. Infidelity is not new… you only have to go back a few years to Bill Clinton and his little 24-year-old friend… named Monica.
It would seem that wedding vows do not mean very much today. Maybe never… as long as men and women have allowed themselves to become enticed sexually outside of their marriages.
Through the course of the 20 years that woman who worked in the Schwarzenegger household was taken care of by Schwarzenegger. Who knows maybe Schwarzenegger placed her there… got her the job in his home in the first place?
But upon retiring from her job as a maid for the Schwarzenegger… he bought the woman a nearly $300,000 house in an exclusive LA residence. And it also looks like he paid for her to have a boob job as well. Because in her pictures she clearly looks like she had 1. It does not look natural.
The 1 thing about outside of a marriage children… it is funny how many times those children look more like the men that fathered them… than the children within the marriage.
The Bible says a good name is worth more than rubies. I was listening to a Preacher preach and he began to talk about rubies. He said that rubies are more rare than diamonds. I had never thought about that… but you know what it is true.
The way most things operate in this world is based upon supply and demand. The higher the demand and the less the supply…the greater the price. Except for this 1 thing… rubies. We often hear of the diamond mines in South Africa and other places. There are some areas where I have heard it said that they… the people who live in some places… almost stumble upon diamonds daily. In these places the people are banned from gathering the diamonds in their country. But I have never heard anything about rubies. I really don’t even know where most rubies come from.
Hold it …I have got to ‘google’ this up.
They are 2nd only to diamonds …and are only the 2nd hardest mineral known to man. They are found in Thailand, India, Madagascar, Zimbabwe, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Kenya, Tanzania, Kampuchea, and most notably in Burma. And here is 1 for you… they are also found in North Carolina… right here in the United States. Imagine that and we rarely ever hear anything about rubies.
But back in Biblical times it is possible that rubies were considered more valuable than diamonds are today. Because the Biblical texts says that ‘a good name is worth more than rubies.’
When you think of it through history certain family names have stood out in this country such as ‘the’ Kennedy’s… ‘the’ Rockefeller’s… and so on. And with those names has come a certain level of respect… and to degree of regard… reverence and honor. These names are held in high regard and come with a track record so to speak of commitment and success. Having such a name opened doors and created opportunities for those who bared their family mark… their name.
Maria Striver has held onto her family identity being part of the Kennedy clan. I never once ever heard her being refered to as Maria Schwarzenegger. Though I guess that was kind of hard to get away from totally as she was, and at this time… still is married to Arnold… who is still governor of California.
How it all plays out remains to be seen. But Maria has lawyered up… and if she moves forward this will be a big 1. And it will cut deeply into Arnold’s fun money.
The moment I read the headline to this story… I knew that I was going to write something on it.
I cannot believe that a 17 or 18…or maybe 20 something young woman would elect to surgically have her body transformed to pretend to be something that she is not. But then to do it… and want to play on the women’s basketball team… is more than a bit puzzling to me.
What is the point?
It just does not make sense. Maybe the boys team is too rough for her… or whomever.
Okay…so, you believe that you are man… and that somehow your body type got confused. And you decide to straighten out whatever mistake that you tell yourself that God must have made… why then after doing all of this… changing your sexual organs and such… I guess… from female to male… then why would you want to play basketball on the women’s team?
Could it be that somewhere down deep… she still feels and knows that she is really a woman?
Perhaps, as confusing to me …it must have been for the young lady, Kye Allums, who ventured out to do it. And recently she has decided to come off of the Georgetown University women’s basketball team amid all this controversy.
It is perplexing.
And maybe… you don’t care to hear this. But if it had not been for the Lord we would all be just as equally confused. Making all kinds of crazy decisions and seeing them as right.
I first heard this story when a friend relayed it to me. I, of course, had always had my own thoughts on this as I had come in contact with Queen Latifah a couple of times. I hadn’t run into her at any parties …but I had heard where she hung out at when she came across the bridge into Manhattan.
And I am all for letting people along… and letting them live their lives. I once was there and I always felt that what I did in the privacy of my bedroom was my own personal business. I, of course, at that time never had any consideration of God. I just felt that as along as it didn’t involve children or animals… then leave me alone.
I also felt that same way about other people and their lives. I never liked listening to people tell me about their long weekends with their boyfriends. BORING.
Because I never thought of the workplace as a place of sharing every detail… and particularly those kind of stories. I was more quiet… laid back. I didn’t talk about my business… and only half listened to what other people were telling me about theirs.
So, the story is finally out… and with pictures. But if you believe it or not… because most people believe whatever they want to… pictures or no pictures anyway. I have always admired Queen Latifah. I am not interested in looking into anyone’s bedroom… I have too much on my own plate for that.
But to me Queen Latifah has always been a good role-model. Even as a rapper… she did not sell herself out… or our people… or other women. She was clean… decent… and came with rapps that jammed not insulted… or made us shame. And then she flipped that around and made herself a movie star…it just showed that she was also capable of reinventing herself… and she was always an entrepreneur.
So, I applaud her.
The fact that you or I may not agree with what she does in the bedroom… does not take away from the fact that she is an adult woman making her own choices and decisions and doing well at doing so. And 1 day she may make another decision just as I did… but that choice is hers… God gave that right to her.
But here is something we can all agree upon… at least she is not walking around trying to make it seem that it is alright. She is not flaunting it.
That takes me now to Tonex. I saw Lexi’s interview… even posted a blog about Tonex. But it is hard for me to agree with anyone who knows scripture… as it is written in the Holy Bible… to believe that living such a life is agreeable to the will of God. It is totally out of step… and I would be remiss if I did not say so.
To some level I will not deny that I have and do still now suffer with my own level of homophobia… which might sound strange coming from an ex-lesbian. But even while living ‘in the life’… I had it. But the 1 thing that I am careful not to do… is to hopefully not offend… hurt… or despise anyone. Nor do I poke fun at… or laugh at… or make light of any situation of being. And this is the way that more people should come to be.
I am not talking about being in acceptance… but being understanding… loving… kind… and not confrontational. The Bible say that with ‘love and kindness have I drawn thee.’
Find that spirit within yourself… and you may start drawing more people to the Lord.
Oh, on my final note… since so many people have been hitting my blog for more information on Cher’s ex-daughter…Chastity… since the release of some pictures this week and the announcement that she is going to marry her long time girl-friend. Here is what I have to say on the matter…
Well, she has managed to harden her facial features and looks more like a man… but at the end of the day… none of us can really un-do anything that God has done. No matter how hard me try… or how much medication… and surgeries you have. It can’t be undone… no matter what the mirror says… or what people tell you.
I’m sorry, Chastity… it is just the way that it is.
Gender transitioning is a misnomer. There is no such thing as transitioning your sex into another. We are what God says we are. Removing or having certain things changed about our physical being does not change our basic DNA. It may corrupt certain cells etc… even effect parts of our chemical make-up. But it is impossible to totally reconstruct certain core things about our inner workings and true gender.
If you can transition your sex… then why stop there?
Why not transition yourself into being rich… or famous?
That’s the point… it just does not happen like that. Though becoming rich and famous are certainly reasonable and achievable goals. But reconstructing your entire physical chemistry is not.
Well, I have been working on this blog for the better part of my day now. Started at about 2:30 this afternoon… and it’s now a little after 4:30 in the morning. Definitely time for me to go to sleep now.
But I did get up to mop the kitchen and bathroom… and got me something to eat in the in-between time. In a few hours it will time for me to get up and go to church. So, I will say good-night…
Hope you have a bless day… and weekend. They say mostly sunny and warm weather this week. I really didn’t mind what we got this past week. It was dark and rainy most of the time. But I like the rain… and that is not to say that I don’t equally enjoy the sun. Because I do.
Well, God bless…
2 comments May 22, 2011
I don’t know maybe it is because I have become somewhat disappointed in both Serena and Venus in the last few months… that when I looked at my blog stats yesterday…and the day before… I just never paid any attention to all the hits for info on them. As a rule I do pay a lot attention to what people are hitting my blog in search of. But for some reason not to the hits for information of the William’s sisters.
But this got pass me…until today when I happened to see the title of an internet news headline… reading that Serena was sick.
The story read that Serena had to go into the hospital following the Oscars due to a blood clot in 1 of her lungs. And it said that this past Monday it seems that Serena had to undergo…what they called ‘medical treatment’…. but sounds more like surgery for what they are calling ‘hematoma.’
It definitely sounds serious… and certainly reason for great concern.
We certainly pray for Serena and her family.
No matter how much money we may amass… it may aid in getting the best possible medical attention… but it cannot compensate for life without pain or health issues.
What would you rather have… money or life without pain or illness?
In looking over other news pieces over the internet lately… which has basically today has become my only primary means of regularly reading news… it seems to me that most of it is geared towards todays new up and coming rising athletic stars. Be it football or basketball… or whatever have you… though mostly football and basketball… it strikes me like…
Well, to me… like they are robbing candy from a baby.
Most of these new talents are nothing more than just kids that they are running after today… many are barely in junior high… or what they call today… middle-school. And they are running after them waving money… jewelry… and everything else that they can in order to get the young hopeful’s attention. And that of their parents also.
In fact, 1 mother was so gun-ho over what they were promising her and her son… that she signed his papers for him. They call that forgery… and it is punishable by the law. And she did it so she could commit her son to a certain college.
And today it is such a big thing just watching to see what school certain of these young hopefuls will be going to. And it means big money… endorsements… and all kinds of business to certain schools. Not to mention the attention media and otherwise to the school and/or college campus as well.
Whether it is an athletic franchise… or national pro team… or some high and mighty college… these young kids… babies really are being sought out and after to their own demise whether they know it or not.
A young kid in junior high… or–or in middle-school, if you must… has no business having his or head turned towards looking for a big pay-day sometime in their foreseeable supposed future. Rather their minds should be centered on their education. They should be concerned about making good grades and getting out of grade school… and then on to college.
These kids today… the chosen few… are being scouted far too young. They are being spoon fed on a bunch of hopes and far away dreams that may never come into being. The promises may simply not materialize for most of them. And this is a very real fact.
Where will they turn?
What will become of their lives?
Sure LeBron made it. And so didn’t Moses Malone.
But success is certainly not guaranteed to a bunch grade schoolers who may show promise today… but may not be able to step to the mark as they continue to grow and develop physically. Or not grow… or not be able to stand up to the pressures of pro sports and all the baggage that those pressures bring into the life of many professional athletes.
And these kids are developing over inflated egos… and attitudes that will sooner or later destroy them and kill any promise that they may or may not have really had. But mouth and arrogance got in the way of what might have become.
A key basketball player at Brigham Young University found out the hard way… that the same way they can put you up… they can take you down. And even if it costs them a season.
There is a message to the below story LINKED here. Never get too big for your own breeches… because somebody inevitably will show you who is really the boss.
There is just so much extreme extremism in America… it is just hard to believe.
What crazy church would want to picket the funeral of U.S. military men and women who have sacrificed their lives for this country… to be outside the funerals carrying signs decrying America …and saying things like-
“Thank God for 9/11.”
Or… “God hates America.”
What sick perverted people would be doing that?
It is as insane as saying you are pro-life and you go out and blow up an abortion clinic filled with pregnant women in it.
It is contrary…and insane. And it certainly is not Christianly.
There is nothing about such acts that can be proclaimed as being holy or saintly. The people who set about enraging people to go out and to do such things are just people who are full of nothing but the devil.
And though I usually do not speak in such terms… the truth is the truth. And this is truth telling-time.
I felt the same way about preachers who loaded up buses to take people to Capitol Hill to protest gay marriages.
These things are just foolish.
Putting people of buses and travelling to the state capitol did not change 1 thing.
There is ‘sin’ in the land. There are ‘evils’ in the land. And none of this extremism attitude is addressing any of the real issues. This is why the devil is called ‘the great deceiver.’ He takes people’s eyes off what they really should be paying attention to.
There are some real core issues in this country and around the world that are in dire need of addressing. And they …these issues… go beyond self perceived notions of what is or is not sinful… or a greater sin.
Why should every American soldier have to endure a bunch of crazy people targeting their funerals in that small Kansas town… or anywhere is this country… causing nothing but more grief for their already grieving families and friends?
Is there not enough chaos and unrest all over the world without us here in America causing ourselves any more than what is necessary?
Soon people will be in the streets searching out their neighbors… and brother will be against brother. It is prophesy.
So, some berserk preacher… and it is funny all these little un-named and unknown preachers coming out of the woodwork wanting to make some kind of stir that will land them on ‘Good Morning America’ or ‘Nightline’… or some other television show. Then they’ll write a book …get an agent and go out on tour.
Going back to my original thought… these berserk little preachers trying to make a name for themselves… go out and stir up their congregations feeding them false doctrine… and backward ignorant thinking.
We serve a God of love. Who tells us to seek peace with ‘all’ men.
During Biblical times were there not homosexuals?
Did Jesus target them?
Did he set out to get them?
Did Jesus even preach against them?
No. Because we serve a God of love. Who says with ‘love and kindness have I drawn thee.’ And do note those words… ‘drawn thee.’ Not tried to chase you away… or antagonize you… or belittle or berate anyone.
And anyone who acts in such a way is not of God. But serves that other master… no matter how much they would debate this.
Well, God bless…hope you enjoy the rest of your evening. It is now March… time certainly is marching on… and seems to be getting away from us. It is flying by so quickly… fleeing.
Some time during the course of your day just take the time to look up and observe the beauty has planted up there for you to enjoy.
Add a comment March 3, 2011
Their whole attire is based upon watching people in music videos. That whole thing that they do with fingers…like we used to throw up the peace sign. It’s from watching the guys on the videos. Grinding and grabbing at their stuff…its from…
Well, you get the point.
I have read a couple stories on this romantic little couple…Keyes and her hubby to be.
But how does that happen?
He’s in divorce court…not even un-married yet dropping sperm all over the place while hanging a ring around her neck. Well, I mean on her finger.
Here is a guy where all you have to do is look at his track record and that should give you reason to ease back from him. What kind of man is he that has 2 children with the woman who has him in divorce court, and before settling that matter he impregnates another woman and says-
“Lets get married.”
And I thought I was disappointed in Vivica Fox when she hooked up with 50¢. I thought she was too classy for him…just what I thought about Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown at first. Though I still think that Whitney had more going for her than Bobby Brown, and over a period of time I began to see where neither Whitney or Vivica were quite what I had thought.
Which goes to my point that you should never idolize people who you do not personally know. If you don’t really know them then you do not a true perspective as to who they really are. And that old saying really is quite true-
“All that glitters is not gold.”
Meaning though they may shine…be famous…popular…or whatever but what you see and believe to be good may… Well, it may be something totally different from you think you see. And I am starting to think that about Alicia Keyes.
The guy doesn’t even look like anything to me. But from the articles Alicia is totally smitten by him. And she has to be to want to…or to have allowed herself to fall into the predicament she is in. Pregnant with child by a guy who already has 3 children by 2 different women…and is currently still married.
I hate to say it…but it sounds so ‘ghetto.’ And I say that knowing that many people who live in the ‘ghetto’ do not all act ‘ghetto.’ That is to say that they come out of what is called a ‘ghetto,’ but they do not act or behave in a manner that reflects the negatives of that environment…or the stigma we have come to associate with certain elements within ‘ghettos’ or poorer neighborhoods…such as the character played so realistically by Mo’que in the movie ‘Precious.’
Within ‘the hood’ baby-mama/baby-daddy drama is something well documented…whether you witnessed it on the street or happen to hear someone conversing over a cell phone. You know it when you hear it. It is in the tone of the conversation…the shouting…the emotions…and usually the cussing and swearing.
Amazingly, just like Alicia and this guy, Swizz Beatz. The name alone gives you a clue that there is nothing there. But going back to my initial statement…a few months into a fresh new romance everyone looks as in love as Alicia and this guy in this picture. But then comes the drama.
And I have no doubt that it is going to come…if history has anything to say about it.
The mere fact that he had no respect for Alicia by at least waiting until he finalized his divorce to impregnate her and to set a ring upon her finger…speaks loud and clear. And it ain’t saying ‘love.’
Oh, you may say-
“Oh, he is just trying to do the right thing.”
The right thing?
The right thing was to respect the mother of his 2 children whom he is currently attempting to divorce before dropping a ring on somebody else…and making the other woman pregnant. And Keyes is definitely the other woman in this scenario.
If one went back in time it is possible that the woman who this currently his wife…may have at the time found herself on the other side of the table. And had been the other woman in that scenario between him and the mother of his first child.
It is a know fact that if you meet up with someone this kind of way…where you take them from some else… Well, sooner or later you will find yourself in the same predicament. While the person moves on to the next one.
This guy strikes me as someone who likes to fraternized with women who have made it or are their way to making it. Hint…hint… All gold digger are not female.
The ex-wife to be is a singer too…somebody named Mashonda. Since I do not listen to R&B any more…or rapp…or anything much outside of gospel music…I have never heard of her…or him. But in watching a music video or 2 of his… he definitely has to hook up with someone. Because his talent, if you want to call it that…is not nothing. You might consider him to be another…uhm… Bobby Brown.
So, he was in dire need to go to the next level. And I guess you can say he did just that when he somehow managed to rope Alicia into his web of romance.
At first glance Alicia struck me as clean cut…intelligent…gifted…and a young woman of high standards and morals. But she seems to have believed the hype and sunk into the life of supposed stardom… rapp culture… and whatever else. She seems to have lost some of that style… innocence… and intuitiveness I thought she had.
So, how come she didn’t see this guy coming?
How could she have fallen so deeply under his spell?
Her style changed… her talk changed …she changed. She started showing more…and leaving less to your imagination.
Then I had thought it was going to be Alicia and Common. But Serena Williams tied that up.
But personally she looks smart enough to be a lawyer’s wife… or some doctor’s wife. But somebody with a brain seemed to be what I would have thought Alicia would have wanted. Somebody like a Barack and not a Swizz Beatz.
But maybe like Vivica…Alicia wanted a thug. Just somebody able to throw her down and sex her all night long. But I would have thought that she would’ve wanted far more than that.
Maybe someone she could converse with. Somebody who could do more than flash and throw his hands up in the air… or spin a couple of turntables. Somebody who knew something about responsibility. Somebody who could really love and respect her. Somebody who felt so deeply about her that he would not dare pull her into a mess.
What happened to her common sense?
Why would she want somebody who would pull her down?
Is she oblivious to what has been going on around her concerning messing with married men…and baby-daddies?
Doesn’t she realize that depending upon what state they live in that his children could pull a piece of her earnings too?
Yes, that is right. Once his way of life increases under the influence of Alicia’s money… she could be forced by the court to aid him in supporting his other children due to her income.
I know that it is hard to find men today who do not have any children… but there are some. Some fine decent men waiting on a fine decent woman. Who work and are more than capable of support his queen to be.
I see Alicia carries expensive bags… which cost thousands of dollar, like Chanel, Veneta, Louis Vuitton etc…etc… then why go bottom shelf when it comes to choosing a mate?
And she wouldn’t take a bag that somebody else owned. So, why do that when it comes to a man?
I don’t really know Alicia’s background but I have heard an interview or 2 where she has talked about her schooling and music classes. And it never struck me that she came from the ‘ghetto.’
And let me just state this…that ‘ghetto’ is more a state of mind than being. Because I know people who live in a variety of places including what would be called the ‘ghetto.’ But they do not possess a ‘ghetto’ state of mind.
How do you bring your mistress into Gracie Mansion, the Mayor’s mansion in New York City, where your wife and young son live to do your thing with her?
What kind of woman was she?
I guess Giuliani was just too cheap to get a hotel. But he did not impregnate her… least ways not that we know. And just prior to his attempted run for the White House, he married her.
As to whether they are happy or not… I can’t answer that. But I do not believe any woman can can sleep peacefully at night knowing that have hooked up with someone with a wandering eye. If it wandered 1 time…it can and usually wanders 2 or 3 times. And in Alicia’s case maybe 4… if someone steps up to the plate with more money and appeal.
And he did.
I do not wish Alicia ill… but I just do not see it working out. History always repeats itself, and someone’s nature is their nature. But God…only if God steps in and changes them. And this guy has z history that is speaking loud and very clearly.
But going on to my initial point regarding role models. Like Serena and Venus… I had thought Alicia as a good and decent role model. But this thing about being out-of-wedlock, pregnant and messing with a married man has definitely put a dimmer on that.
The problem is …is that because Alicia is in the public eye she does bear a certain level of responsibility. I have no doubt that she realizes that there are many young girls and young ladies who follow her closely. And for them she sets a kind of standard of excellence and determination.
Her lifestyle and choices like that of many celebrities gets digested, and incorporated into the being of those who follow them. Becoming pregnant by a married man…
Well, it is something most people do not brag about. It shows a level of insecurity… carelessness… and a balant disregard for the other woman on the other side.
This scenario is weighted in history. Its outcomes can be read in newspapers time and time again, due to all kinds of crazy acts of revenge… hatred… threats… kidnappings and murder plots. It is not a pretty situation …and under it no one can truly find happiness.
Because what started wrong in the first place …can’t help but end up wrong too.
Then that is not to say that errors or lapses in judgment can’t happen. But never compound a mistake.
No. She made a mistake. But she does not need to make another mistake… by marrying the wrong person.
Sure she is pregnant with his child. But if he was worth anything that would not be the case.
Clearly, Swizz Beatz lacks certain morals. I know that sounds like a foreign word to some. But morals stand for something. And anyone without them…
Well, would you really want to trust them with your heart?
Apparently, 2 others did. And you can see what was the outcome.
Why should the 3rd…Alicia’s relationship with him be any different?
And don’t say-
“Oh, he might really love her.”
Might is the operative word. He might …and then again he might not. She might just be another trophy to him. Might be just another target for his ego …and something for him to laugh about while chatting with his boys.
As is often in this kind of case… the man walks out on the other woman eventually…leaving her for the next one. It is an endless cycle for those who have no moral consciousness going from 1 woman or young girl to the other.
I pray that women wake up.
Today, we this scenario still plays itself out over and over again. In the story of Leah and Jacob …you can assume that Leah did not love herself very much. The text said that she had a tender eye… whereas Rachel was beautiful. And she could clearly see how much Jacob loved her.
It had to be painful.
Hence, any woman…or girl who loves herself is not going to just allow someone to use them with the hope of winning them over. Or baring a child for them with the hope that this will tie a person to them.
“I don’t know what happened to Marva. She was never ever like that before she met him.”
Before my cousin Marva ‘met him,’ my other cousin shared with me…she was happy and carefree. She loved life… and was always playing practical jokes. But then she ‘met him.’ She loss the essence of who she was.
He did not love her… but he kept stringing her along. Because he knew he had her. She gave him a child… but yet she could not keep him. There were other women in his life …but she refused to let go. Then he married another woman… and my cousin’s life caved in on her.
Suddenly, nothing mattered. Not even her own child. Her thoughts were consumed with him. Her desires were all for him. Then he shun her… cursed her …and stopped seeing her as regular.
And she began attempting suicide.
She succeeded last year when she finally turned a bottle of bleach up to her mouth. This time there was no doctor that could help her.
They could not pump her stomach. It burnt up her insides. And they could do nothing to help her but watch her suffer…for days… my aunt (her mother), her husband (her father) and her other sisters.
But at the funeral they realized that she was now at peace. But what a sad way to go. And what a horrible way of trying to find peace.
What could possess someone to love someone so much…more than than they do themself… or her child… to attempt on several occasions… and then to final succeed in killing themselves?
Could anyone on this planet be worth all that?
His life went on. But her’s ended…and ended horribly.
It had been compounded by 1 error after another.
There are some people not worth being bothered with. And particularly if they can somehow manage to cloud up how you feel about you.
I was once so in love. I do know how it feels.
Everywhere I turned I saw couples. Everywhere I looked I saw people walking hand in hand. Spring was in the air… and so was love. And I had no one…I was alone.
The one I cared for had cast me off. And I was floating …drifting in my mind. Reality was lapsing from me. I saw that which I wish I had. And it was all around me. Happiness …chatter… the glee of being with someone you loved.
But there I was alone.
And yes… it came to me. To kill myself … and to bring it all to an end.
But instead it was overcome by another thought.
I began thinking that maybe ‘the life’ wasn’t for me.
I tried it.
But I didn’t like it.
But I emerged from it pregnant.
I thought of abortion.
So, I just decided to go through with the pregnancy. Truly, that was my thought process. And that is why I now have a son… who I must say is a far better person than his mother.
And my goodness… what would this world be like if my son were not upon it?
I made the right choice. And it is God’s desire that we have freedom of choice… so we can exercise our right to make ‘the right choice.’
And I am glad that I made another choice.
It took me years to get here. But I made the choice to walk in liberty …and to come out of darkness. And I am so happy that I did.
Oh, well… I have got to end now. Because I am really supposed to have watched a movie… and now I’ll be up and working on a legal paper.
So, I really must get moving. Enjoy your day tomorrow.
In closing let me say 1 more thing… Alicia at 29 years of age should be wiser. I say all of this because I have no doubt that a lot people will read this blog. And I would just be wrong if I did not speak truth…with the hope that someone might hear. Or that it might help someone…including Alicia.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
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1 comment June 1, 2010