Posts filed under: ‘family disputes‘
When I posted the article on my Facebook page I had not really read the article, but later ..that last night while chatting with my son, I decided to tell him about the story. So, I went to my Facebook page and began reading how Deitrick Haddon had posted on his Facebook page, that his ex-wife… which I had known that either… Damita and supposedly another gospel singer, Isaac Carree… were adulters.
The whole thing was rather shocking to me… because they, Deitrick and Damita appeared to be a happy couple. They worked together… created gospel music together… performed concerts together… he put her in his film… And I just assumed that they really had it going on.
And that was only because to me it seemed that he loved his music career so much. So, I wondered at first whether he was going to leave the record business? Which Deitrick did not… but instead it seemed to me that he rather stepped up his involved in the music business… and then came 1 or 2 movies that he produced, directed and played the lead character came out. So, I really wondered about the ministry of his dad’s church which he taken over following the passing of his father… where once upon a time Deitrick had been the Minister of Music.
I must say that I have long-held the view that everybody’s son is not meant to take over their father’s church. Okay… get mad… but I think most people would agree with me on this. You need only to go back into the scripture to search this fact out for yourself. For instance you have the examples of the priest Elli’s 2 sons… and then there was Samuel’s son. And if you keep reading you can and will find others… sons who were born into the priesthood but were less than worthy and simply not qualified to minister, because of certain character flaws.
Yet, for the most part this is what happens in many of our churches… dad dies and the son steps in. And sometimes the son had left the church long ago. And a lot times, sadly, it has been to the detriment of the church under which they came back and took over.
So, when I read in the article that Deitrick had left the ministry of his father’s church… I raised a slight eyebrow but it was no major shock to me. But what did shock me was to read that Deitrick, 36, had fathered a child out-of-wedlock with a 24-year-old woman… and that his wife had divorced him. Now, that was a bit of a surprise because just as I finished telling you… they seemed to be a great couple. Mind you I was not shocked that Damita divorced Deitrick behind that baby incident… but I was shock that Deitrick had done that. Since he is or was now divorced… I guessed he decided to make it look good. So, recently he married the young lady with whom he had fathered a child. But I understand that he failed to tell people that woman’s child …whom he married… was his.
That is what I call deceit upon deceit.
So, is this a case of the adulterer calling an adulterer an adulterer?
Or is this a case of just some very bad apples?
In reading the article it appears to be a case of some very bad apples on the part of Deitrick Haddon.
How do you go outside your marriage… father a child with another woman… and want to call your wife the adulterer?
All I can say… is what is done in the dark (deep sigh)… certainly comes to light…
I got a couple of comments concerning my blog on the Bishop being in the bathtub with a young girl child. Which they say …or should I say… which he says was his 4-year-old grand-daughter. Whom to everyone who has seen that picture… says she was naked… and I would say that he was too.
But here is the 1 thing that I wanted to add to that story which comes from scripture… and has come to me. We are told in the scripture to forsake ‘even the illusion of sin.’ That means we… as saints cannot even do anything that can even be perceived as being sinful by anyone. And there is a reason that the Bible tells us that… as I think Bishop Trotter would and could attest to… if what he said about the picture is true.
Well, that is all I had to say… Just wanted to pop in for a few moments… and now I am popping out.
UPDATE on the Bishop Trotter story… Monday, February 28, 2012: In looking at that picture once again of Bishop Trotter and the little girl said to have been his grand-daughter in the bathtub with him. I have an observation as a mother… that child in that tub is not 4-years-old. I know the size and what a 4-year-old children looks like. That child in that picture is about 2 or 3 years old at the maximum. Because a 4 or 5-year-old child is much bigger than little girl pictured in this picture in the bathtub with the Bishop.
When it comes to social media I really think that people should not indulge in it without first considering what information they are putting out there. I really think about Deitrick and that Damita story too.
Why would Deitrick want to post on his Facebook anything negative about his ex-wife, when he just finished marrying the woman… or at least 1 of the women whom he had been messing with.
I son told that the same thing had happened with J. Moss (only I do not think his wife left him)… and Tye Tribbett (and I don’t think his wife left him either). But my son said and she paid Tye back by going outside their marriage with some friend of his.
Last year the Williams Sisters, Serena and Venus along with their mom visited Nigeria in November… meeting with fans and sharing words of encouragement. Wow… no wonder I like them. That Williams family is really something… and they have not forgotten us… or who they are.
Now, turning to tennis because everybody has been hitting my blog to read about Serena and Venus it seems lately. So, let me get on it right now… because as you know they are in the Land Down Under, the Australian Open.
Jan 22, Completed
Jan 21, Completed
Jan 18, Completed
G. Muguruza Blanco
Jan 16, Completed
Well, to put it simply they are having their of troubles… or were. In one of the very rare instances they lost their Doubles game, 3-6, 7-6 (1), 7-5… and that put them out of the running for this year’s Women’s Double award there. OOOOOOooouch!
Who beats them in Doubles????
Well, it hasn’t all gotten bad… but sad to say since the single games didn’t do them any better either. Venus lost to Sharapova 6-1, 6-3… and a hamstring is bothering Serena… least that is what a fiend of mind told me. So, time will tell…
And I am sure by now that you know that Venus for the past couple of years has been dealing with an autoimmune disorder called Sjogren syndrome… which causes tiredness. But she hasn’t let that stop her though. You can read more on that by clicking the LINK below.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment January 25, 2013
So, here goes…
- When I was very young I kept having this re-occurring dream. It was always the exact same dream every night… and I always awoke at the exact spot in the dream. The dream scared me. So, one night I prayed to God to take the dream away from me. And He did…that very night…and I have never ever dreamed that dream again.
But I did not ever forget that dream.
In that dream I was always being chased…or so it seemed to me then…by these people with wings…like birds… who flew just above me… but somewhat slightly back just about over my head… 3 of them…
I always thought as a child…that they were chasing me. I never knew that God had dispatched them to watch over me.
And so I have…all my life…been watched over. Even though I prayed that prayer…and He stopped the dream…but He kept up the watch over me.
God’s favor….and I didn’t even know it until one of my brother’s told me… concerning something else in my life. And when he said, “Oooh, Bernadine, God favors you.” I really nearly fainted… that thang scared me nearly to death.
God favored me????
That was such a frightening thought.
All these million upon millions of people???
I’m still scared by the thought of it…but I know it’s true.
I do not know… But He does…He loves me…
- A while back last year I was at Newark Airport…and I was curious how many of the guys helping people with their luggage were there that day when they flew Whitney’s body in from LA?
I wanted to know if a lot people had gathered that day here at the airport?
That day Whitney flew into Newark Airport as she had never flown in before. She may have had a limousine… but she left that airport as she had never left it before.
We come all come into this world one way…and leave it in another. But as we existed before in another form… so shall be then exit here to be in yet another form. But whether we have victory or end up in defeat…life everlasting in peace and joy… depends entirely upon what we do while we are in this form…
- It has come to my attention just now that a lot of people come to me seeking my advice on a variety of subjects…and I counsel.
- Sometimes the matters are personal…other times they are legal…or affairs of the heart…or family issues…but whatever the subject or the matter I try to give good counsel…and sound counsel. And an ounce of wisdom…not really having a lot myself. But an ounce of good wisdom and rightly judgment is worth more than 2 barrels filled with foolishness…
- It is almost my son’s birthday. 32 years ago tomorrow I gave birth to a little bouncing baby boy…who had looked like he had been in a fight with Muhammad Ali. But he was mine… So, I loved him anyway. And when I first held him in my arms and looked down upon…I knew I couldn’t afford him.
So, by the time spring semester classes rolled around I started resuming my formal education.
One day while out walking with my son…he then was about 4 years old…he looked up and pointed at a man and said, ‘Ooh, look, mommie… there’s my daddy.’
Women do not demonize your children’s fathers. It does not matter whether ‘THEY’ do the right thing or not. It is absolutely wrong…and men you should not try to turn your children against their mother either. It’s wrong.
After son graduated I sent him away to school. The school did not have dorms and the small southern town it was in had no cabs or buses. So, I had to get him an apartment…a car…open him up a bank account…buy him a cell (which is also the time I got one just so he could stay in connect with me and me with him)…and paid monthly installments on his schooling.
I also hopped the bus from New York headed south to check all his monthly receipts…to make sure he was paying all his bills as he should with the money I would deposit into his bank account. And while there I always went grocery shopping…buying him enough groceries for the month…though he always had money to buy whatever he wanted…and could call me if he needed more.
Some time thereafter after settling my son in he contacted his father, he told me…and asked him for some money. My son told me that his father turned him down…and told him he should leave school and go back home until he could afford it. Needless to say I was furious at hearing this story. THAT…that man had told MY son to throw away everything I had invested in my son to get him to school and set him up properly so that he could do it…and he who had done nothing told him ‘go back home.’
When my son called and told me this story I was livid…but I did not speak badly against my son’s father…but I do have a few choice words for him if ever I should see him.
But I told my son ‘no’ that he was not coming home and he was going to stay in that school until he graduated…and he was not going to waste the money ‘I invested’ in getting him a car…a cell phone…an apartment…and paying tuition to that school. And that settled that.
Some time recently my son told me that his father had contacted him requesting a loan. Over a period of some years my son has connected with some of his father’s other children…sending gifts and things to his young nephews and nieces. Also, over the years…really in a short period of time after his graduation…my son has become very very successful in his chosen field. And I guess his father had heard.
So, when my son told me about the request for a loan I asked what he told him. And he said ‘I told him no.’
And I asked nothing further…but made note in my mind that was yet another conversation I was going to have to take up with my son’s father.
Fathers…AND mothers be good to your children. And they will be good to you…if you treat them right…train them right…and always seek to do good for them and by them…and DO give them a firm foundation in the Lord…and the things of the Lord. And they shall be blessed…and you shall be blessed of them…and shall reap well the rewards of a good harvest
This big head boy is well on his way to probably becoming a millionaire before he hits 40. That is why I put him down there in that school to sit among millionaires…not their kids but ‘them.’. So, that he would know them…and so that they would know him…
And oh, yes… I decided this year to let you really see me too. So, occasionally I will pop up… you just keep on reading my blogs and see… And this is me… But from time to time I look different…depending on a lot of different factors… You just keep looking out for me… : )
Well, the weather has been great. Spent the night in the hospital with 1 of my sisters the other night. All is well…and God is soooo good. Cannot thank Him ever enough.
Hope you enjoy the rest of this week. And I hope that all is well with you and your family too.
God bless…hoped you enjoyed it. I just thought I would share a little with you…
Add a comment January 11, 2013
Because she could. And because that is what the law tells them.
You know the law?
The law that prohibits parents from chastising their children. A law which many times clearly has made parents victims due to unruly children. Because if the child doesn’t like what the parent has done …or says… all they have to do is drop a dime… or in other words… pick up the phone and call the police on their mother or father… or both of them.
The information when this story broke was that Creflo and his daughter had been in a dispute… which arose upon his daughter asking him… her father… if she could go to a party.
I have heard of many children who wanted to go against their parents … then decide that they would settle the matter simply by picking up the phone and calling the police on their parents.
So, of course… I thought this was just 1 of those stories. Where a 15-year-old spoiled child decided that she did not like that her father told her ‘no’ she could not go to the party. So, she therefore picked up the telephone of him… or popped open her cell …and called the police lying on her father… telling them that he had choked her.
That is what I believed and that is how I thought that it had happened.
So, I never felt that Pastor Creflo Dollar had really done anything wrong.
But it was not until I heard his recounting of the incident before his congregation… and after listening to his daughter’s 911 phone call… that I must say that I am not entirely sure that maybe the daughter did lie.
Here is her 911 call:
Now here is Creflo’s account of that situation:
Since I know neither of the 2 parties it is hard to determine what and what is true. But it was Creflo’s own words and how he just seemed to literally throw his daughter up under the bus regarding the whole incident while speaking to his church, in his accounting of what his daughter said had happened, that stuck me as… hmmm. He virtually called her a liar and continued to pounce upon her. And that is what I felt was odd.
I do not believe a loving father… or any parent angry or not get before people and begins to pounce upon their children making their child appear bad or evil.
As a parent I have at times found myself angry at my son… and didn’t like something that he said to me . But there are ways that parents handle these type of things privately. Though at times I have had to admonish my son that he needed to tread lightly a couple of times while in public… as since he has reached his 30′s he has at times needed to be reminded ‘that I am still the parent.’
While speaking Creflo took the opportunity to turn his message on its heels making himself the victim.
There is no doubt that this present system of taking the control out of the hands of parents to properly chastise their children… has made many parents almost helpless when it comes to their interactions with their own children.
It is clearly stated in the Biblical text that parents should not spare the rod. Without following the instruction of God our children will become unruly… untrained… disorderly… and lack moral standards. But with proper training… love… and guidance our children will make us glad. It is Biblical text…
I knew a young mother… she had at lease 4 children and I doubt that she was older than 24 or 25. One day in passing she informed me that she was having problems with her youngest child in school. And she told me that they wanted to medicate him… I counselled her against that.
The little boy was bad… and very busy. But I told to not let anyone give any of her children anything that would alter their mind… because it would rob her children of their lives. And she told me how her oldest boy had call 911 on her… and how afraid she now was of trying to disciple any of her children in the least.
I was shock as her oldest child, who was at the time was just about maybe 9 or 10… was a very likeable and handsome boy. He often stopped by my yard to speak with me as he passed by. I found him very pleasurable… and never would have thought that he would have imagined to do such a thing. But he had… the that incident scared his poor mother enough into not doing anything for any 1 of them, for fear of 1 of them ever picking up the phone on her again… and her children being taken away.
It is clear that the law against parents chastising their children binds the hands of good parents… people who love their children and only want to see that they do well.
No one enjoys little children who have no training at all. They are like little animals… and as they grow up to they become even worst.
I was once investigated. My son and I laugh about it today… but when it happened that thang scared me to death because all I could see was that ’they’ were going to remove my son from our house. That would have destroyed me… I doubt that I would have stayed around to let such a thing happen to my child.
But the investigation was dropped when it was discerned that it had no merit.
My investigation stemmed from my son not doing academically well in school. So, the school suggested that I allow them to test him to see why. I was young and foolish then… don’t let the school do any type of psycho-analyzing of your children. Because they sit in rooms asking your children about everything but what they told you they were going to do. And that is what brought about my dilemma… my son had not called anyone on me… but the school began questioning him about me… whether I whipped him or not etc…etc… etc…
Needless to say I have since learned. I am not the smartest but that situation taught me something… and I learned it shortly after I gave my permission for that school to tell me why my son’s grade were not so good.
How innocent was that?
That nearly had my son removed from our home… and placed into foster care. There is something wrong with this system… and it truly works against parents… good parents.
I did not stop chastising my son… but I did tell him that if he ever told anyone that I whopped him that I would kill him. And that is what we laugh over today. He tells me that I was always threatening to kill him…
“Boy, I’m going to kill you!”
It was kindda the way folks spoke back then. Most parents said it… but none really meant it.
However, the world has changed today… different kind of parents. And that is truly sad… and what has brought about this problem.
Just in case I don’t write anything else for a while let me just include this.
Serena Williams took Wimbledon winning the Women’s Single… then turning right around and grabbing the Women’s Doubles title with her sister, Venus.
Venus was turned away in having lost early in the Women’s Single matches… largely due to her illness which renders her to be tired. But the illness did not stop her when it came to the Women’s Doubles finals match, where both little sis and big sis walked away with the big one together.
I am very happy for them both. I love their family. Just love seeing the love… appreciation and unity they all have… and through the situations and turmoil they still WIN!
Together Serena and Venus have won 13 Grand Slam Doubles titles together… and with Serena’s Wimbledon Single’s win a couple of weeks ago… the have between them 10 Wimbledon Single wins… with each of them having amassed 5 a piece.
Now, how good is that????
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2012
Add a comment July 23, 2012
I have been so busy lately trying to stay warm…that I really haven’t thought about much of anything else. But checking through my stats for this blog I did notice that a lot of folk had come on my site looking for information on the Kings.
So, thinking that maybe something new had come up with their legal battles…Bernice and Martin the 3rd against Dexter…I decided to go up onto the internet to find out if there was something new. And to my surprise…I saw nothing new about their court battles…but that the stories were about the baby girl. Dr. Martin L. King, Jr’s youngest child was now going to head up the organization which her father had not only headed in the 60′s, but was also one of its founding members… the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.
It has not been easy…and my guess is Bernice would say that would be an understatement. What with watching their mother battle illness… then her passing… and then just about on the heels of their mother passing…Yolanda died too… her only sister and the oldest sibling. And on top of all of that… Dexter started acting up and getting crazy. Which forced her and Martin the 3rd to have to go into the courts against him…and thereby thus bring private family matters came out into the open… opening them… a very private family… up to public scrutiny and commentary. That had to be hard decision to make.
No, it could have been easy. But yet she kept on going…and doing. And I have no doubt praying.
It is amazing.
She was just a very young child when her father was so brutally shot down and killed during the summer of 1968. The summer that saw so many riots around the United States upon the announcement of his death. A man who had stood for non-voilence and peaceful resistance…he had been murdered.
Bernice was all of 5 years old only when it happened. Hardly able to clearly understand… much less comprehend truly what it all meant…or how even her father’s dying was destined to change a world…and this country for ever. But I’m sure she heard her mother crying many a night over it.
Now, today she is stepping into her father’s shoes. At age 37 Rev. Bernice A. King, who holds both a Divinity degree and a dregree in law has become the first woman to ever hold the top post at SCLC. What a great way to honor the memory of Dr. King as we all celebrate his birthday this coming Monday.
Though there has been much controversy among the remaining members of Dr. King’s immediate family… his children… Martin the 3rd, Dexter and Bernice… this I am sure would make him smile. They both would be.
Poised…confident… well spoken… and a member of the New Birth Ministry under Bishop Eddie Long… as well as having been a law clerk under Judge Hatchett… and of course having been under the mentorship and leadership of her own mother, Mrs. Coretta Scott King… I see a new era in black leadership rising in this country. It has been long over due…a new guard is on the horizon. And it feels like a breath of fresh air.
It gives me great pleasure to write this on the King family… or a member of it. And I look forward to writing many more.
I had seen some of the headlines…but had just not taken the time to read anything on it…mostly because it just kept slipping my mind. I would get busy reading or doing something else...and then…well, you know… I would forget… that is until my son called me and began speaking to me about it. He told me that an estimated 500,000 people had been killed. For such a small island that has to be nearly a quarter of Haiti’s population.
Many many stories of are pouring out of Haiti of untold thousands upon thousands still being trapped. The Richter Scale hit 7.0 with a series of after shocks measuring at 5.9… with the International Red Cross saying that perhaps over 3 million people have been affected by the massive earthquake.
We can all remember still…I am sure… that massive mounting wave that rose up out in midst of the Indian Ocean back in 2004…which hit 11 different countries with so much force that everything near the shorelines for 25 or so miles inland was wiped out into the sea… including families, businesses, homes, belongings etc… perhaps leaving many of them feeling the affects probably still, while additionally trying to recover from it mentally and physically after having lived through such a terrifying and destructive thing.
I guess before it has all been said and done…we are bound to have much more devastation to come in our lifetime…and beyond if there is a beyond. The forces of nature are reaping havoc upon us in ways we are incapable of fighting. And Kartrina was just another example of it.
Or you can look at this way.
Prophesy coming to pass.
There is no dispute that within the text of the Bible all these things… including wars have been prohesied long before we got to this point , some more than 2,000 years ago. When I think of both Haiti and New Orleans…I think of 2 places steeped in the culture of witch craft and voodoo. When I think of those 11 countries hit by the Tsunami…I think of child sex trades and exploitation.
It is not a secret that many people get on airplanes flying out from this country to foreign shores, to indugle in many things illegal here in America…such as having sex with children. Though such laws have not stopped a lot of people from doing so… such as…Roman Polanski. A man who should have been locked away years ago…when he confessed to having sex with a 13 year old girl. Film director or not…the man should have been locked away. And the same for Woody Allen.
I once watched a film produced by some independant filmmakers. The most beautifully shot film visually that I had seen in a while. I was very impressed by it…visually. The lighing…the colors…just everything about it. But…
It was a movie about young children…very young children…super young children…some younger than 4 who were put into the sex for hire business. Children standing in shop windows waiting on someone to walk by and pick them out…like they were buying a suit or a pair of shoes. And shop window after shop window with little children standing in them…bunches of them…as if they were live little manakins on display.
It is hard to believe that such places assist…much less that they can so freely exploit their children in such a way. With families making decisions to give out their own children for a few dollars claiming that the hardships in their countries left them no other choice.
It is not hard to believe that God would destroy such places.
Most of these countries trafficing children… or where such practices are openly allowed… are 3rd World Countries… such as Africa… Indonesia (which less than 2 years ago was hit by its own major and highly devasting earthquake)… China etc.
Even in terms of Haiti…besides the witch craft and practices of voodoo…it is routine to see one tele-evangelist after another showing pictures of children while pleading for financial support from viewers… and not only while in Haiti but other countries as well. When I look at those pictures of those little children I feel sorry for them. Because I know that many times these children are not only being used as a means to pull upon people’s sympathy. And I have no doubt that once those camera lights go off and their little pictures are taken… most of children fall prey to sexual abuse by the the very ones who claim they are their to help them.
It is sad all the way around. It is sad…very.
We… I have no doubt that we cannot begin to imagine the vastness of the devastation which has hit Haiti.. .nor its awful after affects now and for years to come. Not to mention the danger that many Haiti’s people have fallen into by criminals and others who seek the exploit this time and Haiti political problems.
Many American artists…and partically all Haitians living in this country still have roots in Haiti…by way of love for their country and family members still there…such as Lauryn Hill, Wyclef Jean and others. It is very likely that within the whole of Haiti there is not one family whose lives have not been touched by this earthquake…whose strong and very high magnitude shook that small French speaking island just off the coast of Florida this past Tuesday…with such force that it almost virtuely destroyed Haiti’s capital city, Port-au-Prince.
Those who can please let us all remember them is our prays…and send support to Haiti.
The images and stories flowing out of Haiti since the earthquake are saddening. Limited medical supplies and those who can care for them coupled with criminal elements…make it even harder upon those who somehow managed to survive…barely escaping with just the shirts upon their backs. Little children left orphaned… amputations…shortage of water…and no place to lay for the night or out of the blistering sun during the day. Missing persons…destroyed property…everything gone. Encompassed by the smell of death…while listening to the wailing crys…screams and moans of emotional and physical suffering all aound…while wiping at your own tears at the very same time. How hard it must be to go through such devastation.
If you would like to donate CLICK this LINK…http://cogic.net/cogiccms/default/
The bathroom is not going to hold out…but my stomach will have to. Because as much as I hate to say it…I desparately need to shed some pounds. My hair is falling out. My nails are getting too long. I think my teeth might be a touch too yellow. My toes are freezing. And…oh, I am a disaster. I truely am.
Will this weather ever break?
My son tells me on Friday…we are scheduled to get into the 50′s. Do you think it might be a bit too soon for me to begin singing ‘Happy days are here again...?’
Do you think?
Perhaps since you have been reading these blogs…you have often thought about what it would be like to talk to me personally. Judging by reading some of the responses to my Juanita Bynum blog…and perhaps my blog on Chastity Bono…some of you may just be dying to get at me. Well, soon and very soon…you may just get that chance. Because yes…your girl will soon be coming to you live, baby. Bet you’ve been waiting for that.
Well, have a beautiful day. I hope you got a whole lot of warmth wherever you are. And please let us pray for all these people who are going through hard times right now. There are so many people suffering from all type devastating thing…earthquakes…loosing homes…loosing their jobs…speaking of which. I spent most of day today observing an on-line class on how to make ice cream. I actually have had the idea rolling around in my head for a couple of years now. But somehow I fell upon this internet site…and the next thing I know they were emailing me about a ‘free training session.’
Did somebody say ‘free?’
Today could not come fast enough. Though I over slept and missed the first hour and half. I managed to learn enough in the remainer of the session to more than make up for it…and to let me know that my consideration of the idea was not a bad one…not at all. I tell you this… in this time of unsurety you really have to be looking at your future options too. Look into the future…. and see where you would like to be. And what you will need to do to get you there.
Now, start working towards that.
I am a believer that everybody should consider going into business for themself. Or perhaps you have aspirations of being a writer. Go for it. Do it…but you can’t if you don’t start somewhere. And I am one of those people who strongly believes that you can’t wait to start something…or hold back talking about ‘waiting on until you get the money to do it.’
You will be waiting forever.
Sometimes as the door closes in your face…because you have lost your job…or can’t find one…or had some other set back… then it just might be because it is time for you to become your own boss… run your own company… do something that you really like to do.
Think outside of the box… and don’t despair… there is something special waiting just around the corner for you. And it is that success you have always been looking for… had hoped would come… that real career that you have been putting off.
Just do it. And I would love hearing about it.
I’ll give you more information about when, how and where you can link up to me regarding to my blogradiotalk broadcasts… on both your ipod and by listening in to me right here over the internet. You know… try as best I can… I just cannot seem to get out of radio…and stay out of it. Oh…well..
And I almost forgot 1 other very important thing about my up and coming blogtalkradio program… You’ll able hear it right here too… right on this blog page…as I plan to add a link to the program. However, if you listen via your ipod or directly over the net to the live broadcast…you will be able to call in and talk with me over the air. It should be interesting. I look forward to chatting with you soon. And yes…there will be guest…perhaps you would like to be one. Send me a note via my comment box.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
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4 comments January 14, 2010
Just finished reading that between them Venus and Sererna have amassed over $50 million in tournament earnings. Wow…that really should motivate some people to get up and go out and learn how to play tennis…big time. However, as strong as they may be on the court the endorsement dollars still have not totally represented who they are and their standing in the tennis world.
Considering the fact that there are other players who have yet to see the type of wins and tournament money that Venus or Serena have managed to win…yet they have not been able to match their court success with bigger endorsement dollars…unlike some of their white counterparts.
For example Maria Sharapova reportedly has earned about $30 million in endorsements while having won only a mere $10+ million in tennis tournament money.
It seems to me that something is terribly wrong with that picture. Considering the fact that Serena Williams most recently became the highest grossing female athlete of all times. Based upon this fact alone the ad agencies and major companies should be running to her to sell or aid in branding their companies and/or products. But this is far from the case.
Perhaps, Venus and Serena aren’t complaining about it. Maybe through the years they have come to grips with the way the world is…and how it operates. But it is a shame that with all their skills and finesse upon the tennis courts…the mega ad deals and corporate sponsorships have not come their way. Clearly they have earned the right to reap the full benefits of their labor…not just the tournament wins…but lots more of that other money too.
In her joyous victory over Serena in the Women’s Final, Saturday, Victoria Azarenka of Belarus jumped for joy…she managed to do what many wish to do. She beat Serena. 6-1, 6-1.
Wow…what a lost.
This past weekend Serena and Venus had another finals show-down. Playing down in Florida in the Sony Erricsson tournament, They played hard…and in the end Serena won over Venus, 6-4, 3-6, 6-3…in the Women’s Semi-Finals.
It is amazing how they can compete against one another and not let it interfere with their love, appreciation and respect for one another. It is just amazing…truly in their own rights they are not only great sports women but also fantastic role models for how siblings should feel about and treat one another.
Oftentimes, when one isn’t playing…the other is up in the stands cheering on and rallying support for her sister…which ever one it may be whether she is awaiting her turn to play…or out of the tournament because she lost. As well as, their mother, Oracene, and other family members…including their father…who by this time has probably married his young girlfriend (that is in another blog along with a picture or 2). As he had planned their wedding for the end of March or sometime during the first of April.
Of which…being that the young woman isn’t much older than them…or somewhere near Venus’ age…and for other obvious reasons the girls…Venus and Serena were not quite tickled pink at the announcement that their father was heading to the altar with the young woman whom he has been seeing for some time now. And it seems that she loves to shop…which means…spending their money.
Mighty Michelle…that is the name that the folks abroad have dubbed
her. She was indeed stunning…with beauty and brains to match it is hard to beat First Lady Michelle Obama. And with his hand in hers…and hers in his they looked liked 2 teenagers in love over in Europe.
The Queen too was smitten by the Obama aura…something which seems to have swept the world. France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy loves him…and calls Obama friend.
Who would have thought that a man who many had debated whether he would be able to answer the call if a call came in the wee hours in morn concerning some type of U.S. calamity. They questioned his…what they called ‘his lack of experience.’ They questioned his ability to be able to handle foreign affairs…and how he would be able to handle himself around other world leaders.
Well, Obama put all those fears to rest this past week during his first visit to Europe for the G-20 Summit. For a guy who many scoffed at…and grinned over what they called ‘his lack of credentials.’ Told him that ‘he was wet behind the ears.’ I don’t know…but maybe that community organizing stuff that people laughed about paid off this past week…when Obama managed to mediate between a riff that developed between France and China during the summit…when both men became angry at one another and were nearly about to fight.
Obama not only managed to calm them both down but also got them talking and they came to some type of an agreement.
You know what?
There are benefits to learning how to work with people in the community that can really pay off when you come together with world leaders…and it is called knowing how to break up a fight…how to negoiate…and things like that. You can’t learn that sitting in some office shoving papers all day and playing like politics is all there is.
Imagine…at his first time on the world stage as President of the United States, President Obama brokered a peace agreement between 2 nations…that were well on their way to disrupting the entire G-20 Summit by having a fist fight. That’s pretty good. Better than good…for a man who many questioned whether or not he was qualified.
At the location where I am currently working to launch my website…there is this guy name Josh, who coincidently shares my birth date…he was telling me the most interesting story about his little niece, who happens to be the apple of his eye. He says that every time she sees Obama on the television she begins pointing at the television screen saying gleefully-
She is only about 2 years old…and can’t pronounce ‘Obama.’
Well, that will clearly change as she grows up. She will learn in history that one of them started the war and that other one put an end to it. As I am sure that the history books will be filled with information on the controversy that the Iraqi War brought not only to this country but around the world.
After 8 days of trying to re-new the spirit and trust of foreign leaders in this country…Obama paid a surprise visit to Iraq. There is something about going somewhere in order to get the full impact of the real situation. I found that out for myself following my mother’s passing.
I had relied upon others…my siblings…as we spoke on the phone or during my weekly visits home…which would always be on one of my days off from my job…but I depended upon others to be my source for what was happening at home…in the house with my father once my mother had passed. I never would have believed that the sources of my information were anything but truthful. It was not until I was forced to go home to stay amid my father being what literally amounted to kidnapped…by another sibling (who was more interested in his money than him)…that I found out the truth…and nothing but the truth…as it started to be revealed to me slowly over time.
Had I never been forced to return home…I would still be living in oblivion and listening to lies about what was really going on at home.
Going and seeing for himself…was something that yes…President Obama had to do. And judging by the pictures…the troops were happy to see him…greet him…and take pictures of him. All of which was something I never saw in any of the media stuff when Bush went to Iraq.
The job that those young people and others have been forced to do was huge and the outcome was never one that was going to be good. For one thing though no one says it…it was an act of aggression on the part of the George Bush Administration to initiate a strike against a country that posed no possible immediate threat or otherwise to us. Thus, there was and is no way that what started off as being bad in the first place could possibly be turned around…as nobody who lost their life…or a limb…or mental or physical state of being…or other problems or complications due to that war…there is never any way that they…or their families…or their love ones will ever be the same. Nor this country…but perhaps somebody thought this when we dropped that bomb on Hiroshima …and then on Nagasaki.
When President Harry Truman, in August of 1945, made the decision to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki following the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Like Bush…Truman had committed political suicide by believing war and killing people is the real show of power. Truman’s fear of communism…the Red Threat…and whatever else that was running through his head at the time…including like Bush…he too had a plunging voter approval rating.
It is interesting how past Presidents used war like some type of commodity to use at will…as a means of vamping up their voter approval. War to them has long been held as a means of engendering country loyalty and solidarity. And they used war also as a means of creating jobs…and all with little care for the lives these wars would exact in return.
The unleashing of the single most dangerous weapon known to all of mankind…the atomic bomb by Truman was the most atrocious thing that any country could do to any group of people. And from that time to this…this country has sought to wide the memory of it from history.
To view just DOUBLE CLICK the LINK BELOW…ignore the text.
It is my hope that such weapons are totally removed from society…as the technology is entirely too dangerous…to even be used as an energy source. And as it renders those countries which have it trying to monitor and prohibit others from obtaining it…which speaks to the fact that the world would be a far better place without nuclear weapons.
But I applaud President Obama for being strong willed about bringing to an end a war that never should have been started in the first place.
I really do not know how long the Somali pirates believe that they can continue to interfere with the waterways by pirating ships?
At some point somebody…some country will not take it. And frankly, I do not believe that Obama is somebody to be played with. I know that there might be those of you who have a different opinion of him…but I can tell that he is nice and easy-going as long as you do not cross him. It was in the way he looked into the camera and kind of smiled one morning…though you knew he really wasn’t smiling…and then he said-
“Leave my wife and my children alone.”
You do remember that…that is when the Republican party during the campaigning period decided to go after Michelle Obama. Once Obama stared into that camera and said what he had to say…that campaign launched against Michelle Obama came to an abrupt halt. An immediate halt. I couldn’t blame them…you could tell that Obama meant business. And that is why I say-
“Obama is not a man to be played with.”
Yes, he can kid and joke with the best of them. But for anybody who believes there is not another side to him…look out. Everybody has another side…even me. And as kind as I am (lol)…I have scared my share of people…and still do…when I have taken all that I was or am going to take.
It would be very foolish of the people of Somali to believe that the events that happened when that Black Hawk aircraft was shot down in their country years ago under Carter…will ever be allowed to be repeated again…with them dragging the bodies of Americans through their streets.
No…I don’t think so. America is not going to take that twice.
First Lady Obama, Michelle’s mother, Marian Robinson, is gracing the pages of Essence magazine. Didn’t like the make-up job though…or maybe it was the photoshop touch-up…but she is still beautiful. And Michelle looks just as beautiful sitting beside her mother.
I have said it before…and I am going to say it again.
“What a family.”
It is great to see the type of black families I have known all my life finally hit mainstream media in a continuous manner.
I think that the above story is sad. The Shriners Hospitals are really just too valuable to allow them to close…even one of their facilities much less 5 of them. There must be someone who is capable of aiding them. The number of children who need special medical care is growing…and the Shriners Hospitals because they are made to service children their medical facilities are happier and brighter places for children who have to be hospitalized due to a variety illnesses and accidents…burn victims etc… And can provide them with long care treatment right in their hospitals.
I have a younger cousin who fell out of a 3 story window years ago. She had to spend a very long time in the Shriners Hospital here. The injury impacted her growth andshe had other medical problems which were brought about due to that fall. It caused her to have to stay there for quite a while. That hospital provided for her a happy atmosphere with a great team of care providers who really know how to deal with every need of children from fear…to tears.
There have often been times when I wished I had money…so I could give it away. This is one of those times. I would give it to them.
If you would like to make a donation or contribution…you can do so via their website… http://www.shrinershq.org/
Or by contacting: Shriners International Headquarters
2900 Rocky Point Dr. Tampa, FL 33607
Well, today is so beautiful…that I shouldn’t even tell you about it. But just keep it to myself…and not share it with anyone…as if I could bottle it up and store it somewhere.
Was in New York yesterday. Bought some things for Easter. I decided that I wanted something new and springy. So, I settled on something yellow and can’t wait to get my hair done and put on my new earrings and new wears.
I am looking forward to Easter…not because I want to show off some new clothes…but because I am just so thankful that God loved us enough to endow us with a special gift…his son. And that his son in turn loved us so much…that he laid down his life that we might live…might walk in liberty and free from the yokes and bondage of all the things we once allowed to hold us hostage. And if you did not understand that…you should get yourself a Bible and begin to search it out for yourself. It is something that I am still doing…and have no doubt that I will be doing for the rest of my life. Continuing to read and search it out for myself.
And to all of those of you abroad serving this country with pride and dignity…I wish you well. And with God’s speed hopefully you will soon be home.
Well, it is just about Easter…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends…
“pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment April 10, 2009
I awoke to more than a foot of snow outside this morning. And it is still coming down steady. But I wanted to get a head start on the shoveling…so, I got up and out in it while it was still light and fluffy. It is much easier to shovel that way.
It has tailored off a bit now…but still coming down…and has been doing so all day. But I am still loving it. I feel blessed just to be able to get out in it and shovel it.
I just got off the phone with a cousin…in the Virginia Beach area. And she said that most of the neighboring towns around her closed down everything due to the snow down there.
While I was visiting with one of my sisters this morning after shoveling…whom I stopped by to visit upon my deciding to treat myself to a large cup of hot tea and cranberry muffin at Dunkin Donuts. Well, after all that shoveling…don’t you think that I owed myself something?
But I never made it to getting my cup of tea or my muffin. I did, however, end up having breakfast at one of my sister’s house…while there I saw a news segment on TV showing how the snow had hit as far south as Alabama straight up the East Coast.
Boy, those Williams girls are busy raking in the money.
This weekend Venus picked up another hefty check…this one in Acapulco for $37,000. Not bad for chasing down a bunch of little yellow balls. And they get to travel to some great places…like Acapulco, Melbourne, London etc…etc…all expenses paid. That is what I call living.
Kind of makes you wish that your dad had gotten you up early and taken you out to some local court as a little 9 or 10 year old child…and just started throwing balls at you.
Since that story on actor Morgan Freeman first broke shortly after he ran into a ditch or hit that tree down there in Mississippi…Freeman is beginning to truly understand that old time saying-
Well, as you may remember in my first blog on the story…Freeman’s wife, Myrna, didn’t waste any time hitting him with the divorce papers…like the very next morning. And in doing so she put herself in line to reap a hefty portion of his loot…somewhere near $100 million if not more. But as of Wednesday of last week…old Freeman was hit again.
Truthfully speaking…he would do better just running around in a dark alley carrying a couple of money bags with large dollar signs on them. I doubt that robbers in a dark alley would be as bad or hard on him.
But here is the kicker…the woman in the car. Yes, she was as I stated in the other blog …his white mistress…and ex-friend of his wife. Well, she rallied up her own lawyers and now she is after old Freeman too. She claims to have been a victim…injured party in the automobile wreck which left poor Freeman in the hospital with a busted up knee and other injuries as they had to be rescued from the damaged vehicle via the Jaws of Life…you know that heavy equipment used to prey open a car in order to get the occupants out of it.
The woman claims that Freeman was drinking excessively…one drink after another. And that he was highly intoxicated went he had gotten behind the wheel.
Seeing him take one drink after another…and knowing his condition when Freeman got into the car to drive them to whether they were headed…motel or alleyway, I don’t know….but I guess she had her pick. You really have to wonder why she got into the car with him knowing the state he was in…or at the very least…
Why she hadn’t offered to drive the car herself?
Perhaps, she too was drunk.
However, with all the drama currently in his life…there is little wonder why Morgan Freeman hasn’t been looking much like himself lately. The good part…his vehicle was insured. But if Demarius Meyer…who suffered head injury during the accident…which could mean memory loss, soft tissue damage, whip flash, neck and back injury etc…etc..well, if she gets her way…poor ol’ Morgan will have to pony up plenty more money. And this being taken into consideration…she could reach way pass whatever his insurance policy allows and put her hands directly into his pockets with regards to her claims of injury.
The thing about accidents…the injuries are not worth the money. And I don’t care what the amount is that someone may get in compensation. It is not worth it. Better to have not been involved in the accident in the first place…far better. But if you get injured…there is no option but to file a claim for injury…somebody has to pay for the medical bills that follow.
Once while going home from New York…I was traveling via an interstate bus…and the bus driver fell asleep at the wheel. There were about 6 of us on the bus…as prior to the driver falling asleep our original bus had had a mechanical problem so we had to wait on another bus to leave Port Authority. But the other bus did not have enough room for all of us. So, myself along with the driver and a few other passengers had to wait for the company to dispatch another bus for us.
It is funny…just laying here with my son’s laptop and typing this story now…I remember something I had forgotten. While waiting on that 2nd bus to come and pick us all up. My mind kept saying to me …I should go home. As you read this blog you will come to understand…that I really should have walked across and caught a city bus to the subway and done just that…gone home. And yes…I really should have gone back to my apartment that day. Just like my mind kept telling me…and it kept saying it over and over to me. Now, let me continue on with this story…
I always try to sit on the first seat across from the driver. So, that is where I was sitting…and because I had gotten up early to catch the first bus out of the terminal going my way that morning…I had awaken before 4 AM that morning. So, by the time I got on the bus…I was very tired.
So, when the bus driver fell asleep at the wheel…I was fast asleep. When I awaken I was on the opposite side of the bus. As my eyes came open I thought I was coming up out of my sleep…but I had really been knocked out…and was then knocked back conscious. I had been bounced from one side of the bus to the other…and it was my injuries that eventually over time told me and my doctors the story.
Therefore, by the time I was awaken…when I hit the other side of the bus…I had really been knocked back into a conscious. When I opened my eyes the bus was shooting off sparks as it scraped against the middle divider separating the on-coming traffic of I-95. I had no idea as to what had happened…even the fact that I was on the opposite side of bus had not registered in my mind at that time.
The bus driver eventually pulled off the concrete girder and continued to drive as if nothing had happened. A number of cars pulled along side of the bus blowing their horns and pointing to the side of the bus. The driver finally pulled to the side the highway and stopped the bus. I think that he was in shock himself…and maybe very much in denial.
I never knew what happened…but the driver started talking about how he had been up late…how he lived with an 85 year old woman etc…all kinds of crazy stuff. I felt sorry for him because I knew it would mean his job.
When the driver stopped we all got off the bus. At the time, I felt just a slight pain to my right arm…but I knew that we were all blessed to be able to walk off of that bus. I decided right then and there that I was not going to pursue a law suit against the bus company…because I was just happy that we had not been killed.
We waited along the side of the highway for yet another bus to come and claim us…which did sometime later. But no state trooper ever came to the scene…and none of us were ever checked out for injuries. We were put onto the other bus and continued on our journey as if nothing had ever happened. By the time I finally reached my destination…I never knew anything was wrong with me.
Later that night I was back in New York…and when I tried to called friends…I could not remember any of the phone numbers. I didn’t think anything of it…I just thought that it was nothing. You know one of those times when you try to think of something and can’t. But when I showered and went to lay down…and I was overcome by dizziness.
I had been involved in enough accidents to know that this was a sign that something was wrong with me. I thought that I could be bleeding internally…or something. I knew I had to get out and get immediately to the hospital. Luckily, the hospital was right around the corner from me. But by the time I started walking to the hospital…I was now fighting with an equilibrium problem. I was starting to loose my balance…and things were becoming blurry.
I willed myself into that hospital. By the time I got there as they began to ask me questions like what was my social security number…my birth date…etc…etc. I could not remember any of the answers…though as a rule this was information I could rattle off without much consideration. But I could not that night. This is when they rushed to admit me into the hospital emergency room…they also informed me that I had suffered memory lost from a level 3 concussion. At that time none of that meant anything to me…but that was the beginning of many more medical bills to come including surgery…and as I have already stated in a prior blog…I never say yes to surgery unless I feel I cannot do without it.
They kept me in the hospital the whole night not releasing me until after 9 AM the following morning. They had run every possible test upon me. Because when I had arrived at the hospital…they took my blood pressure and told me that I had been a walking candidate for a heart attack. All of this had been due to an accident…which I had already told myself-
“I am not going to pursue this.”
Because I thought that the only injury I had suffered was just a slight pain to my right arm…which was the very thing I had to later get operated on. Later I found out from a friend of mine who drove for Greyhound that the driver of our bus, from another bus company, was suppose to have waited until a state trooper had showed up at the scene of the accident…and that none of us should have been allowed to leave the scene of that accident until a medical team had come and checked us all out.
That accident could have killed me…because I had no clue what had happened to me during it or the amount of trauma it had truly caused to my body. I had been a walking candidate for a heart attack because of it…due to my blood pressure becoming so elevated. And I do not suffer from anything like that or anything else.
I now tell everyone that I don’t care whether they feel anything or not-
“If you become involved in an accident…go to the hospital immediately and get yourself checked out.”
If I had not had enough sense to get out of my apartment immediately and go to the hospital following being overcome by dizziness later that night…I might have fallen asleep…become incapacitated…and died that night…but by the grace of God.
Once I had walked into that hospital, however, the medical bills started. There was no option at that point but for me to have to pursue a legal claim against that bus company.
So, I have no doubt that that woman with Morgan Freeman during his automobile accident probably did get injured…considering the fact in particular that they had to be extracted from their vehicle by the Jaws of Life.
Once she had to start pursuing medical attention…she had a right to file a claim against him. Somebody has to pay for the medical bills…and it should be the party at blame.
I really do not have much sympathy for men who cheat on their wives…or women who cheat on their husbands. Oftentimes, the problems that emerge from the out of order relationship…are ones with great consequences as Freeman is now finding out. It just was not worth destroying his 30 year relationship with his wife. Not to mention all the money involved in their divorce and now the injury claims against him. And he also has charges of DUI which he also has to answer for.
In order to replenish the large sums of funds flying out of his pockets…Morgan Freeman would have to work for the rest of his life. And still may not earn it all back.
Yeah…when it rains it pours.
“Wouldn’t you say so, Morgan?”
And I guess that old Johnny Taylor hit, Cheaper To Keep Her…really is true. Yet ,another lesson for Morgan Freeman to ponder upon. Because his wife is definitely no joke…something which after 30 years of being married to her… he should have already known. She is taking him to the bank…and beyond. The other woman will just have to stand in line.
Speaking of accidents…once many years ago while riding on the local street bus…I saw a woman run across the street. She ran directly into the path of the bus and was hit by the bus. She fell down then got right up and leap onto the bus as if nothing had happened. The driver asked her if she was alright and he was prepared to take her information…and tried to make sure she was okay. But the woman said she was okay and continued to the back of the bus and took a seat. I think she might have been embarrassed…or in shock from being hit.
But I knew that the woman had made a foolish mistake…and I think the other people on the bus felt so too as there was a buzz about it.
She had just been hit by a very large bus. Getting hit by any moving vehicle may cause you injury…and highly serious injuries no matter what the speed of the vehicle was. Even if you do not feel anything at the moment does not mean that later on you won’t. You might not feel anything for a year or years…and then it comes upon you. But if you failed to put it on record…or failed to get yourself checked out medically… Well, if you do this…you will not have any type of legal recourse regarding your injuries and/or your medical bills in the future…near future or far future.
When I was injured on my job…I was never going to write it up. I was the person on that job who had the responsibility to file all the claims if a customer or employee suffered an injury in our building. But if it had not been for some customers who having seen me slip and fall…had not they continued to say you better write it up. I would not have done it. I was embarrassed…and didn’t feel much pain. I just felt a bit shaken up…and thought the little bit of pain I felt would pass in a couple of days. And it did…or so I thought. I never realized that I had began to become less and less able to do certain things.
I had slipped and fell in March…and it was not until August that I decided to go get it checked out. It didn’t hurt me…I just felt a slight bit of pressure to my right side. When I stepped into that doctor’s office…I have never worked again. I had been seriously hurt. And had not known it.
I went in to work day after day…and never realized anything regarding my developing limited physical capacities. So, when I stepped upon that bus where the driver fell asleep…I was already injured. That accident compounded my injuries…and I became worst.
Every accident can have serious consequences for you. Get yourself checked out…if it turns out that you end up having no type of problems from the accident…then great. But if so…you need to cover yourself.
Had I not finally decided to put in the paperwork concerning my own slip and fall…by the time I finally went to see a doctor several months later…I would have never have had any type of help concerning my injuries…or any type of legal recourse. I would have had to suffer from my own foolish behavior of being lazy…too lazy to put in the paperwork…too lazy to want to sit around in an emergency room all day or night..or .however long it took.
Following the accident where the bus driver fell asleep…and my decision to just let it go…had it not been for the dizziness that came upon later that night…which I would have just forgot about that accident. But what would have happened to me if I had been one of those people believing I could take an aspirin…and aspirin away my problem?
The problem was I had injuries…many injuries and serious injuries of which I had no knowledge of until later…and even to this day I am still realizing things caused to my physical being due to that accident.
Be wise…take the time to get yourself checked out. Do not be too lazy to go to the emergency ward following an accident. Many accident injuries do not show up until years later…but you cannot wait until they start to show up to put in the report. If you do…forget about your claim for compensation for injuries and medical bills. It vanished when you fail to put in the report at the time of the accident.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment March 3, 2009
Sometimes I just become so overjoyed that I can’t keep it to myself. And this is one of those times. I am suppose to be working on launching my website…which should be up this week. But I just couldn’t not before writing this blog…to tell you just how good God is to me.
I know that many many many people are currently facing foreclosure and until I started taking care of my parent’s property it really never mattered much to me. But following the passing of my father the 2 mortgage companies which had mortgages against our property put us into foreclosure. But not being on the mortgages the companies refused to tell me anything…and I was the only out of my 7 other siblings who felt our parent’s property was worth fighting for and eventually paying off.
But because my name is not on the loans for the mortgage (which of course it would not be…since the house belonged to my parents and it was their loan). So, the mortgage companies legally did not have to give me any information regarding my parent’s account…and for the most part that is what they did. They refused to share any information on their account with me…even though they knew that my parents were now both deceased. And the kind of information I wanted was a copy of the payment history of the entire loan and all other information concerning it…the whole history of mortgages.
Finally, CitiMortgage, one of the mortgage companies…the one with the highest balance and most difficult company to deal with…they sent me a copy of my parent’s mortgage. After going over the documents it showed that supposedly that mortgage had been refinanced in 1999. But my father by that time had been diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s. Besides his left hand shook badly…which meant that his signature would have been severely affected when he wrote. But that copy of the supposed mortgage refinanced by him showed no signs of a wobbly hand. And even if it had my father’s mental capacity being what it supposedly was at the time…he was not legally competent to enter into any such contractual agreement.
So, I filed papers disputing the foreclosure by CitiMortgage against my parent’s property based upon it being a false document…and as being such CitiMortgage’s foreclosure was being based upon a fraudulent document which would nullify that contract and halt their foreclosure based on the amount outstanding due to that document.
Well, after I don’t know how many months…and after receiving information from CitiFinancial that they were in possession of my parent’s property. I went back to court. Because CitiMortgage/CitiFinancial had failed to answer my complaint against them. So, I entered a default against them. Today, I received my notification that my default had been granted.
I cannot tell you how overjoyed I am. Through the grace and mercy of God…I had won. This decision totally knocks out a mortgage which added over a hundred thousand additional dollars onto my parent’s prior loan.
I knew in my heart that my father would have never placed an additional $100,000 of debt upon our property. That money was supposedly against a loan of nearly $30,000 at an interest rate of over $60,000 making CitiMortgage a mighty big winner in that contract. My father would have never done…and particularly since he had already had more money than the alleged near $30,000 the loan approved for…as he had more than that already in at least one of his several bank accounts. So, I went into court Pro-se as a heir to the estate of my father…and went to fight. But God fought that battle for me. And I cannot thank Him enough.
I wrote this blog because I know that many people are going through much of the same. It is very difficult trying to go to bed night after night…and not know whether or not tomorrow you will be deposed and kicked out into the streets…because some bank or mortgage company took over your home.
One of the biggest frauds going…happens when people in mortgage companies find out that there is a dispute among family members following the death of someone of whom they hold a loan against their property. This opens the door for all kinds of things to happen if the people or a person within the mortgage company is a distrustful crook…that might shock some. But it is very true…and not just with mortgage companies but lawyers also…anyone sitting in a position they see where they can take advantage of.
Anybody sitting in a position who can take advantage of such a situation many times does. Because they seize upon the family members lack of communication with one another and their inner turmoils and conflicts to keep the family members too busy at each other’s throat…and it allows the cheats the freedom to do whatever they will. It is for this reason that I asked to see the complete history of my parent’s mortgage from the initial mortgage on. For which I never got because they refused to release to me. Nor did any notices of court dates come to house regarding the foreclosure hearings.
By not getting those notices…the notices regarding the foreclosure hearings…I could not appear in court to defend my parent’s property. And since none of my other siblings cared…they didn’t go either. This meant that that by default the mortgage company won their foreclosure because nobody showed up on our side of the table…or who represented us in court.
I tell people all the time…the worst thing you can do in a court case…is not show up. By failing to show up the other side automatically wins. Give yourself a fighting chance. Show up and tell the judge your side of the story…you may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. It could make a difference.
If you have been reading these blogs then you also know that I had entered a case in the Appellate Court.
Perhaps you are familiar with this…and are guilty of the same. Though I must say as a rule I am not a procrastinator…but for a couple of weeks I had been walking around with the letter from the Appellate Court unopened. I get tons of mail…and there are some pieces that I put off opening simply because I don’t want to think about it…and I am afraid of what it might be informing me of. This was the case regarding my default notification from the court and this letter from the Appellate Court…both of which I finally decided I couldn’t put it off any longer. So, I opened them up this morning.
It turned out I had been dreading good news from both courts. The notice I got from the Appellate Court was to inform me that I would not have argue orally our case before the judges. Though I had requested to do so…I really didn’t want to do it. But from where I stand nobody can better present my case than me…and particularly since when my son had gotten a lawyer…the lawyer told him to settle for $1,800. Our car had been totaled, my son suffered back injury (which still plagues him today)…and on top of that the repairs that the insurer of the other vehicle (the one that caused the accident) authorized were not sufficient considering the amount damage sustained to our vehicle.
So, I filed the papers myself…when you do this it is called “Pro-Se.” But it was not because of any of the reasons I have already listed that drove me to file suit. No, I filed because they had returned to my son a faulty automobile which could have killed him…and they didn’t care. The car shook…the bumper would fall off while he was driving…and at the time of the accident my son was away at college in a town which had no public transportation…not even cab service…which is why I had to buy him a car in the first place.
So, I filed suit in conjunction with my son against Allstate Insurance. And today I heard from the Appellate Court…because if you recall, also in a prior blog, I explained how my son had really won the case…but how the whole thing had been a set-up and ended up in front of a judge who was friendly with the other side. Don’t act shock to hear this…it happens everyday…watch LAW & ORDER. It is regular practice for lawyers to call the clerk’s office to find out which judge is in what court and when. And try to schedule their hearing before judges who are very lenient or favorable to them.
Had we lost our case in court fairly…I would have accepted that decision. But I could not knowing that we had not been unjustly treated and all our evidence and testimonies had been overlooked. So, I filed a Notice of Appeal…and to the Appeals Court we were a going.
One of the most involved documents I have ever had to put together was the legal brief that was required of the Appeals Courts. It was over 100 pages in length and required many hours of research in a local law library and several days of typing…but I did it. By the time our case finally got heard…following all the hearings for the various pre-hearing court dates for…Motions to be entered…and Mediation…etc..and all our travelling back and forth…many times when we barely had the money to go and come back. But we did it any ways by faith…over 900 miles each time.
Now, the notice from the Appeals Court today informed me that we would not have to present our case orally before the Appellate Court. I had covered everything so completely in that brief…and in great detail…including the court transcript to back up my statements. I am so happy that we do not have to go down and stand before them. Standing before several judges dressed in black robes…would have been a bit un-nerving for me. But if I had to…I would have done it. I had prepared myself to do it. Because from the on-set…I had not filed the papers to lose our court case. And I always knew it was just a matter of how much…because we had all the documentations, receipts, invoices, pictures etc. to prove our case. Many times in court just having truth on yourself is not enough…you must have hard evidence…and we had both truth and hard evidence. Then they next thing is to be capable of delivering that evidence before in a logical and as near legal manner as you can master.
I tell you this…because I do believe that if more people sued for wrongs and injustices…maybe some of us others would not have to. We live in an area where they want to make you feel guilty for having to sue. But believe me…many times a law suit is necessary to resolve many matters. The problem is most lawyers won’t take any cases that they believe they won’t make any money on…or that may tie them up for too long. This leaves those who can’t go into court for themselves with no choice but to drop the matter. And even I have had to decide whether or not something was a battle to fight or not.
I have not sued everybody…though my son and most of friends believe I have. But I have not. Some of them I have left for God to deal with. He can do things to them that I cannot.
This reminds me of a time when I was in grade school. While in the cafeteria one day just as I was about to sit down…this girl took her foot and snatched the stool from up under me. I fell flat…and everybody laughed at me.
I was so mad that I began praying to God to do something to the girl. And a couple of years later I realized he had. The girl is very unattractive…and I have always thought God did that to her because of me. Truly, I have. From that point on I have never prayed to God to take care of anybody else for me. I thought His punishment to her was a bit too harsh.
So, for the cases I decided not to pursue…I have just left it up to His discretion if He wants to do something about it or not. The Bible says…He rights every wrong.
But I will keep you posted on the Appellate Court decision.
The reason behind this blog is to encourage those of you who are facing foreclosure…or any other problem…legal or otherwise. Do not give up. Go back through your paperwork…there may be something in it which can turn your situation around. You may find a loop hole…lawyers use them all the time. But if they can so can you.
Always remember that God has the final word in all situations. And that He is faithful.
My parent’s property is still in foreclosure but now all the money paid on the property from the date of that refinance date that I disputed to present will have to be reverted to the old mortgage…and with interest.
The Bible is true…God is always working it out for our good. I am just so happy.
God is good. And I am so happy that he is a friend of mind.
As I have said in my other Black History Month posts…the reason I have not given you any information on the people that I list is so that you will be motivated to research who they are. This will prove to far more helpful to you…and to your ability to remember their accomplishments.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
1 comment February 24, 2009
I was shocked when I read this story in Vibe magazine. I would have never realized the things that they were going through…and had gone through as they were all growing up. It is a shame some of the things that many children are forced to endure. There is little wonder why some have such anger and rage years later. On the surface who would have thought what hidden darkness they had locked within. Family secrets can be some of the worst kind of secrets.
They were one of the hottest family groups along with the Jackson’s to emerge from Motown. It is funny how success usually is often rooted in so much pain, sorrow and personal sadness.
A large family of 8 boys and 2 girls… Bunny, El, Randy, Mark and James made up the DeBarges, the Motown singing group, who left home from Detroit by way of Grand Rapids, Michigan to LA in search of success… but they were haunted by many sad memories that perhaps they had been trying to escape…but found that they couldn’t.
Two other members of the family made up part of the group called Switch which was also hot during the early 80′s, Bobby and Tommy.
Tortured by the deep dark secrets they all shared and carried into their success in the 80′s, they were colored by a past that ultimately claimed most of their lives. Their lives have been left shattered…and though the church could not and did not help shield them from the events that were taking place in their home as very young children…but over time some have found healing and renewing in God.
You can read the full story below. It is sad…and painful to read.
When I think of the times that a friend and I used to rush home to catch them being showcased on TV shows, and how we used to laugh at them. Though we loved their music and them…it always struck us, me and one of my friends, that the boys…were well rather ‘sweet.’ And I am shamefully sorrowful of that now.
We should not poke fun or laugh at others. And I will not blame it upon my youth nor on the lack of proper home training.
I never laughed at people with disabilities but I have seen people who have…and I have seen them do it openly as I was growing up. These people, of course, were not in our family…because my parents were not that kind of people. Plus they would not have ever allowed it of us. Nor did they indulge in gossiping or talking or laughing about anyone. Yes, they would occasionally chuckle about things. But they were never mean spirited or degrading people, nor did they find fault with people or talk or laughed about anyone.
I laughed at those boys, fine as they were but yet so effeminate…I found humor in that.
Should we laugh at such things and pick fun at people?
No. We should not.
And I regret having ever done it…which is why I am writing this blog.
I have never liked preachers doing such things as finding humor at the expense of gay people. It seems that within the church everything else is sacred accept poking fun and making jokes about gay people. They do not do that with any other sin…prostitution, lying, stealing, murdering…none of these things find their way into a Sunday morning sermon or any other time…as a joke.
Then why should they find it okay to make jokes about gays, lesbians or homosexuals?
And really the church is loaded with… Well, it is loaded with some of everything. And a lot of times from the top to the bottom…somebody is doing something which they should not be doing or acting out in ways which are not Godly.
And I am not trying to come down on the church or incite a war of words. But the church is full of everything. It was true in Jesus’ time and it is still very true today. The church is even full of predators. Not so long ago at least 10 Priests in the upper North East, the Massachusetts…Boston area were found quilty of such acts…leaving in their wake hundreds of very shattered and broken lives.
In Connecticut a preacher impregnated a 12 year girl that he had been routinely been engaging in sexual intercourse with. Since she was 12 when she had the baby…she had to be 11 or maybe 10 if not younger when he first got started.
This was the plight of the DeBarge children.
Without a doubt there should be some level of sensitivity with regards to making jokes that are belittling and unkind to anyone at any time. And particularly any jokes about all those lost in sin… any sin. The church is suppose to loving and giving in spirit. Yet, it is sanctuary for all types of activity as well.
Once well sitting in the choir as a young teen…I was seated beside this boy. His father was preaching less than…I don’t know…less that 4 or 5 feet away. And this boy produced from under his choir robe his…….. and tried to pulled my hand across to touch it. I at the time did not quite understand anything about erections or anything else. But that was what he had…and his father was preaching right there beside us as his son did this one Sunday morning…in front of the whole church. It is hard for me to believe that no one sitting in the church that Sunday saw our exchange as we were seated on the front row of the choir facing outward…must less seeing what he had in his hand.
Nor, will I ever forget the night I dropped this woman home following church service that night…and this was not so very long ago. As I pulled in front of her building and she was about to get out of my car she suddenly turned to me and kissed me in a way no woman had ever kissed me before. And having come out of lesbianism…that should
speak volumes as to how and the way this woman kissed me. But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t respond. She got out and I drove home determined to not even think about what that woman had just done. And I didn’t.
I didn’t think about it…for a couple of reasons. For one thing because I didn’t want to dwell on that kiss. For another reason I just did not want to obsess about it. I felt it was a trap…orchestrated by the devil to try to lure me back into a life I had now left behind. And I was not going to fall for it. So, I shoved that kiss and that woman aside in my mind…and never bothered to linger there thinking about it…now or then.
But the church is full of a lot of things…like whoremongers, adulterers , liars etc. None of which I see any humor in…as all sin is sin and shameful. But for some reason people in the church really like to poke fun and laugh about gay people…and no one seems to find that to be offensive…but me it seems.
It is almost as though it is open season on gays in most churches while all else is taboo as something to joke about. None of it should be something to joke about. Perhaps it is that none of them were ever gay…or maybe they just do not want to confess to it. But there must be some reason for this.
Here were these children, the DeBarges, growing up in the church and such nasty things were going on in their own home from the earliest of ages. And I laughed at them when they finally hit the stage and started performing.
They were the most beautiful family of siblings…as were those Jacksons.
And in case you do not understand what ‘fine’ means when used here this way…it means that they were fantastically handsome, terribly good looking etc…etc…etc…
But those boys acted so gay.
I didn’t try to figure it out…I didn’t try to see anything other than that. And it struck me as being humorous…and that is as sad as whatever else they had to go through…if not more so. That we should all be so small…especially me…to have thought that that was humorous.
I sincerely apologize for that now. Not just because I now have a part inkling of their story, affliction and pain that they were forced to suffer…but because it was wrong of me to do so in the first place. And particularly because of all the misery and heartaches they have all had to come through and to have to bear in their lives very young children.
I cannot imagine how hard it is for a child to grow up having a father who is a predator…and using his own children sexually for most of their years growing up.
In August of 1996, Bobby DeBarge at the age of 39 died after years of alcohol and drugs abuse. He died from complications AIDS related. He was named after his father, Robert Louis DeBarge, a man who frequently sexually abused his own children beginning very early in their childhood. Bobby was a multi-talented song writer, lead singer and musican. In 1988 both he and his younger, Chico, were arrested for attempting to traffic drugs, they served 6 years in prison.
In October of this year, 2008, El DeBarge was back in court on more drug charges, vandalism and domestic violence. Though for many years El was able to not fall prey to the demons chasing him, as well as, his other sisters and brothers…but following Bobby’s death and other family issues, El too soon fell to the demons chasing them all.
Update on EL: I was very happy to see El last week when he emerged on the Soul Train Music Awards Show. He looks absolutely great… and he sounded great too. I am happy for him. Trying to pull your life back together is not an easy accomplishment. But thank God it can happen.
Bunny today is free of drugs and alcohol. She is saved and a mother. She is living her life as a Christian and has just finished writing a book called “The Kept Ones,” a tell all autobiography.
James DeBarge who was once married to Janet Jackson for a few weeks before her family had the marriage annulled, is also saved and living his life as a Christian, as well is their mother, Etterlene DeBarge.
You can CLICK the LINK S below to read the whole VIBE magazine story.
Their mother Etterlene DeBarge, which is also Bunny’s real name, is 72 with her own page on myspace.
Their lives have not been easy. But through it all they have a testimony of survival, defying the odds and are attempting to rise above, and through it all to once again unite as a family victorious through Christ Jesus.
In the words of James DeBarge in the last youtube video clip below-
Child abuse hurts…and in many cases it ruins people’s lives. Many never recover from it. Some just learn how to go on. But we all remember it…and it does remain with us for the rest of our lives whether it appears on the outside or not.
UPDATE: July 29, 2010…Robert Debarge, the father, died last year, August 2009. What a very sad, lonely and broken man he must have been for all the horrors he committed. Truly a sad story…which I understand is soon going to hit the big screen.
UPDATE: August 7, 2012…Just checking on my files and things as I usually do…when I spotted that a few people had been looking for info on the death of James. Immediately, I hit the internet looking thinking that James must have just died. But thank God… he has not. But I came across some pictures of him… and he has really aged.
In looking at his pictured I noticed how much he looks like his father. It must be hard waking up in the morning and looking into the mirror and seeing him… the face of the man who used to abuse you and all your other siblings.
I imagine that they all have good days… and bad days. There are some scars that never go away. That kind of hurt most hurt forever…but thank goodness for Jesus, He can make a difference. A lot of things become easier to bare because of Him.
Let us keep them all lifted up in our prayers.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. And I would like to thank you all…if you have purchased my book. It is amazing to see that my book sells are growing and it is because of people like you. I thank you…and hope that it is a blessing upon to you.
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CLICK the above screen a COUPLE TIMES if it fails to play at first attempt…and ignor the text which appears on the screen.
God bless…and thanks for reading and …pass it on www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2008
52 comments December 14, 2008
I have gone into court on many occasions and felt that I should have won where a Judge decided against me. In life there are many battles. Though we have to pick and choose our battles…as it is not possible to fight everything all of the time. And when fighting them…we always have to be prepared to loose.
Loosing is as much a part of the process as anything else. There are times in life when we loose and there will times in life when we win. It is a fact. And if you are in sales…they will tell you that ‘it is the law of averages’…meaning sooner or later either is bound to happen.
Bernice and Martin L. King III were recently in court with their brother Dexter who sued them to have their mother’s letters released to him. As he claimed his mother’s letters are part of his father’s estate. Since he negoiated a book deal for $1.4 million for his mother’s memoirs it stands to reason as to why he would want those letters to be in his possession.
At this particular hearing the Judge sided with little Dexter.
One of the best things the court has incorporated in it…is the appeal process. It is not often used as it can be a much harder battle…just preparing the proper paperwork and submitting it as the court requests it to be formatted can be overwhelming in of itself. But the state Court of Appeals are a near final step…you can always go back into court and ask the Judge to reconsider his discision by setting it aside. Which many times though you may get a court date, some Judges just won’t change their minds…not unless you really come up with some evidence which can really sway them to the other side…and that is provided that the Judge is willing to listen to it in the first place. Some Judges can be very difficult and quite hardnose.
Then, if you are still not satified because the Judge failed to change his mind, you may inform the court that you are going to appeal…and BAM! You submit the court with your Notice of Appeal. And you are on your way to the state court to appeal that decision, verdict or whatever the argument or contested matter is of that case.
Now, little Dexter has been busily selling off as much of the King estate as he can while lavashing himself with million dollar property in California…LA to be exact, as he desires to enter into the movie business ad plans on relocating. Well, he has pretty much actually done that…moved from Atlanta for the sandy beaches of LA. And also for the stage lights of the Hollywood sets…well, this not quite. What he doesn’t understand about the movie business…is that he looks too much like his father to make it in Hollywood. The only person he could possibly play would be his father…and I do understand the magic of make-up and all of that…and there are not enough movies being made about Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. to bring his son’s dream into reality.
The point I am making regarding casting of movies….Martin L. King’s face is known around the world. No one would belive or accept a character who looked like Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. as any one else outside of being Dr. Martin L. King, Jr.. In order for it to work his son would have to be able to beat Densel acting, where he could assume a role and make that role, or character come so alive in a way that in the viewing of the movie the audience didn’t see Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. but whatever character Denzel…I mean Dexter was playing. And that is not an easy task.
So, Dexter will never make it in LA as an actor…and you can tell him…I said it. If it were possible Yolanda King who studied drama and was an actor would have been able to find success in the business. But even as woman…she looked very much like her father. In a business where people suspend reality…it is hard to do that when you are looking into the face of Civil Rights icon and trying to imagine or see him as anything else but that Civil Rights icon…and that is exactly what Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. was, and still is…a Civil Rights icon.
The current letters which the court gave Dexter access to are letters written to their mother from their father during the Civil Rights Movement.
Because Rev. Bernice King is supposedly legally over their mother’s estate, it is interesting to me that the Judge would have awarded Dexter with that decision. And Dexter is in control of the Martin L. King, Jr. Center for Non-Violence and his father’s estate.
You have got to have the right lawyer or lawyers. And I am going to tell you something that lawyers hate. Sometimes you have to kick the lawyers to the curb and better go in fighting for yourself…if you have the skill and ability to do it.
Who better to represent you…than you?
But without the proper verbal skills or confidence…and the ability to restrain your emotions…you better not try it. At times in court I have been good…but during family matters I many times just break. Family stuff hurts.
I don’t think that I am all that confident…and believe me when you start standing in front of the Judge having to defend yourself it is even worst. They have terms…legal terms that will fly right over your head. And I should know…because a few of them have flown over mine.
There were times when I wish I had done or said that…at the time it came to me but I didn’t do it. Later afterwards…I could have kicked myself time and time again for not having done so…because it cost me the case. Or I wished I had been smarter.
The first case I ever won was a case I took into Small Claims Court. I had bought a car. The ad read ’great running condition’ etc…etc… And when I tested the car it ran beautifully. But the next day when I went back to pick it up and give them my money…the car never ran properly. I have no idea what it was…or what they did to it…but I ended up buying a beautiful looking vehicle…but mechanically it was not the vehicle I had tested.
I quickly found the newspaper ad and file my complaint in Small Claims. Small Claims Court is very much like Judge Judy’s show presents it to be. You stand up there and tell your side, show what you have to back it up…then the other side talks…and after a while the Judge ususally says you’ll receive your decision in the mail…whereas on TV…Judge Judy renders a decision during the show.
So, I presented my complaint before the Judge and I got my decision in the mail. And guess what?
The Judge was very nice to me. I had won. But I not only won my money back…but the Judge let me keep the car too. And those people who had sold me the car they paid me all of my money back sending me weekly amounts until I had totally received it all back. And I got the car fixed. It was a beautiful Bonneville convertible, 1968. I could not get out of the car without finding notes on from people interested in buying it from. But this ended being a very expense lesson for the people who sold me that car.
Judges as a rule are not that overwhelmingly kind or generous. So, for a very long time I walked around thinking how I was so smart because I had won…and won like that. But now I have come to realize…that I am not that smart at all…but just exceedingly blessed. I have a very dear and good friend who sits high and looks low…and sees and knows everything.
I never won that case. God did…He won it for me. And many times you go into court…you should really consider Him. I have had many different outcomes in court…but each one whether I have won them or lost them…I knew that God did it. If I didn’t win, I knew that there was something in that case that God desired to show me…or have me consider.
I almost always take everything as a learning experience. I may not always like the outcome of the set of events…but the lessons behind them have lead me not to do somethings again…or seek to do somethings a lot better. And each time I have always found that they were setting me up for the case…which oftentimes were bigger and more important…like our Appellate case in Carolina now.
The lawyers have a this saying, “Only a fool is his own lawyer.”
And unless you are a very quick learner and can adapt quickly…and also…this is a very important point…have the ability to speak up for yourself…and can be quiet while the Judge is talking or listening…unless you can do these things think twice of going into court ‘pro-se’…which means representing yourself. You have to be concise, to the point and extremely well thought out…and certainly able to prove your case for real evidence…whether a paper trail or bills or some type of contract etc… You must be able to prove your case. And need to definitely pick your fights.
And if it is a case that you get to make a decision as to whether the jury decides or the Judge…go jury. Twelve or 6 people give you a better chance at winning.
Recently, I had a case thrown out of court. I brought it against a local doctor and hospital here. I knew the probability of my winning the case was low…but I just could not let it go. For what that doctor did to me…he definitely deserved to be sued. And though I knew I was entering into a very steep up-hill battle…I decided to file my complaint any how. Which is what I did…because the way I figured it out even if I lost…and here is another point.
You have to really be careful at bringing a case that you might loose because the other side will turn around and levy all their court fees, lawyer fees and everything else they can against you. And you could end up having to pay a lot more than what you thought.
But I decided to go forward with my case against that doctor. The case never got very far because to get specialist and all of that costs money…but I knew one thing. I knew that all legal cases become public record…and that is what I sought to do. I knew I couldn’t probably win one way…but I got him the other way. My complaint against him was and is public record. Now, any lawyers seeking to bring a case against him and are looking for amunition against for another complaint…well, they will come upon my case and be able to read in full detail why I bought that law suit. That is why I did it.
We are hoping that everything works out well for the King Family with regard to their current battles. It is very difficult dealing with family matters. And not all times does the right or the truthful party win. But one thing is for sure God will work it out for your good.
God bless…and be encouraged all.
Talking about God. If you read my blog on my parent’s furnace almost exploding. Yes, I am suppose to be in cold…as the furnace is gone. But God gave my parents the wisdom not to have the heat and hot water tied into one. The hot water tank is separate…which mean I still have hot water. So, if I have to go through the winter without the furnace…I can. Because I still have electricity and I still have the stove.
So, God is soo soo good. And I cannot thank Him enough.
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
God bless…and thanks for reading ©2008
Add a comment November 6, 2008
What would mommie think of you?
And I will not say ‘all of you’…I have heard that enough times myself in regards to our family situation. But when a member or members are wrong…or doing the wrong thing or things…there are few or little options…short of going to jail because you killed them. Just ask me…
And no, I am not currently sitting on Death Row because I did in a sister or brother or two…thank goodness there is a God. But had I not been saved…I might well be in jail…and possibly on Death Row. Because that is how intense family affairs can grow.
It is extremely painful and hurtful to have to go into court…and side against someone who is a sibling or other family member. But there are times when it must be done.
I have sat in court and tried to hide the tears knowing that I did not want to be there. But courses of events brought on by sisters and brothers forced me to do it in order to not loose my parent’s property…because it was all that was left after they had ran through everything else.
And though they didn’t want to pay anything to save the property…they didn’t want me to do so either. In fact, they openly proclaimed several times how they didn’t want anything to do with the property…but they would rather loose the house to foreclosure than to see me with it…or try themselves to save it. And it was never and has never been about me having it…not for me.
It had been what my parents had worked for it. They had labored, saved, struggled…and sacrificed for it and our 2nd house which was lost years later. How were we going going to just sit around and loose what they had worked so hard for…at a time when black folks could barely get mortgages and had to work hard for every dime they got?
And to see a nearly 2 hundred thousand dollar house go down the drain for less than 5 thousand dollars in arrears…with 2 mortgages less than $350/per month combined.
How could I do that?
How could I allow that?
I could not…and I would not let my parent’s house go to a bunch of people who knew nothing of my parents or the legacy that they desired to leave for their grand-children and great grand-children unto the 4th and 6th generation…and beyond.
So, yes…I sat in court trying to secretly wipe away tears…sad that I had to be brought there to the court house because of greed and everything else negative that can crawl in between families when people die.
Only to get before the judge and become so overwhelmed with emotions that the tears overtook me. I know how it feels. But it has to be done.
What a mess this is. And it is not a joke either…and it only gets worst. But truth will prevail…but you must be steadfast and maintain your interigty.
Don’t look for everybody to understand…because they are going to tell you are wrong.
Take confidence in yourselves and pray for your brother that he might see the errors of his ways.
You will cry.
It does hurt.
But let nobody destory what you father died for…and what you mother fought to bring into being…that his life would a testament unto the world through the generations.
If the information in the LINK BELOW is true…Dexter might find himself looking at jail time. Uncle Sam does not play. And the sad part…he has emptied out many estates…i.e. Sammy Davis, Jr….Redd Foxx…James Brown…etc…and settled a lot of family disputes.
Dexter’s counter-law suit…
Family matters hurt. Be encouraged…and always endeavor to do the right thing.
The mud slinging is yet to begin. ‘pass it on’… www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2008
Add a comment August 21, 2008
I recently wrote how shocked I was to find out that Yolanda King had passed last year at the age of 51.
In fact, I woke up this morning thinking just how blessed I am. And it is not just that I am alive…but I have a son, I have a slew of fantastic nieces and nephews, a wonderful and encouraging church family, the best of friends, cousins etc…and then I was gifted with the very best of parents…and have always had the best of everything. So, yes I awoke this morning thinking…how blessed I am.
Though I was shocked about Yolanda’s passing, I am not, however, shocked about the problems the siblings are currently having. When you listen to Bernice King speak at Yolanda’s Home Going service,in the youtube footage in my last blog…there was a sense that something was going on among them.
That is very unfortunate.
Bernice kept expounding on ‘listen to the voice of the Lord and give no heed to another.’
When people die there are a mixture of emotions which surface…among them are greed, selfishness and a sense of ‘I’m going to get mine before anybody else does’…just to name a few.
When you are forced with having to deal with loss…greed and selfishness are not 2 things…along with anything else negative…that you want also on your emotional plate of loss and grieving.
For some…death brings their families closer together…but for more it drives them apart. The court is loaded with families seeking legal relief regarding family issues which arose upon the heels of someone dying.
Just a few seconds ago I was chatting with a friend…the one who is hooked on youtube and is emailing all those old R & B/Soul singers…and she informed me that Bernice and Martin, the third, had filed a law suit against their brother, Dexter King, for mis-managing family funds and the funds of their father’s center, the Martin L. King, Jr. Center for Non-Violence, in Atlanta, of which Dexter now heads.
There is nothing like death to bring out the absolute worst in people. You will see and hear things you never would have thought would be coming from people you loved, trusted and never would have expected would be acting as they are now acting.
Estate matters hurt. And more often than not they have to be dealt with through the courts…either Probate and/or Civil Court.
Regarding our own estate affairs on several occasions I have had to go into court to pursue some sort of action, such as becoming the Executor of my parent’s estate. I needed to become the Executor of the Estate for one reason…because somebody has to be over the property….the property simply cannot regulate itself. And the other reason that really prompted me to seek the Executorship of my parents estate was this. Somebody had tried to take out $40,000 against my parent’s property…which was luckily declined. This and worst are the kind of problems you can come face to face with when people start dying…and greed, selfishness and I’ve got to get mine… all enter the picture.
It is hard to be at odds with family members…but it happens…and often. And these fights are never kind. No, on the contary they can be downright hateful and vicious…and surprisingly so. But someone has to maintain the high road…the right road. Somebody has to stand for truth and what is right…yet forsake the spirit of hatefulness and viciousness…though it is being showered upon you. Otherwise, you will become just like the wrong party or parties…and no one will be able to decipher you one from another. And that they might not be able to do anyway by the time the other side gets through dragging your name through the mud.
Just look to be demonized…if you are the one trying to do the right thing. By the time you are really in the midst of it…they will…or he or she will…have you looking like the culprit to anyone who will give them an ear. And everybody will come to you…and ask what are you doing?
Why are you tearing apart the family?
You will be the thief the robber and everything in between.
It will take much crying. Many nights of soul searching…and living in isolation. But prayer can conquer anything. And lots of it.
And one other thing…having someone who will listen to you…who can offer wisdom and counsel you through it. Someone who will not prosecute you…because they have already become contaminate by buying into what the other side was saying…because they bought into the lies.
I have found that you have to be able to voice you pain…your strife’s…the turmoil’s that you become faced with during life which keep you up all hours of the night…or all night.
Just to be able to have one somebody…to be able to tell it all to. Unloading verbally your problems can be an awful good feeling and somewhat of a healing tool in a time of need. That is what my friend whom I have shared with you that we believe is in the process of passing. When I coundn’t find anybody else with whom I could discuss it with…she gave me her ear…and she counseled me through it. And I never once found her counsel lacking.
My problem was that I was in New York…and I kept saying-
“Oh, I’m not there.”
So, I allowed them to do what they were doing without me interfering.
I had no idea what was going or to what level…until I was forced to go home…even I was constantly questioning family members about it.
And God made it so I had no choice in the matter. I was evicted…so, I had to go home.
Once there I came to find out that the very person I relied upon to keep me inform about matters at home…had been lying to me. In fact, I came to find out that he was one of the culprits and he became one of my biggest antagonizers. And that he had apparently never heard that inheritance comes after death.
Following the passing of my mother, my father took it very hard. And it doesn’t help anything seeing your children clamoring for everything they can get…grab and snatch from you…and you haven’t even closed your eyes yet.
That has to hurt…after working all of your life for a bunch of people who suddenly become like strangers to you…can be, I have no doubt, devastating. Yes, he became quite devastated…my father just eventually shut down and gave up.
Money and things can make people change…and go crazy. And my parents had money and they had things…and nothing they had was cheap.
We grew up living very well.
And I know I said it in my other blog on estate issues…but maybe we had too much. One thing for sure we had no appreciation…and those who had some didn’t have enough of it to make difference on my father’s behalf.
If you would care to read more this story CLICK the LINKS below.
Some people may not understand why Bernice or Martin are going after Dexter. But I do.
Dexter just bought a 4.16 million dollar home in Malibu…that’s Cali…in a ritzy suburb of LA…if you want to get specific. But he heads the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center in Atlanta?
It really doesn’t sound like Dexter intends to spend much time in Atlanta…doing his job and assisting in keeping the family legacy going.
No, it sounds more like Dexter has the glitter of Hollywood more on his mind…and a highly expensive pallet to go with it.
On the surface it sounds more like little Dexter is out to deplete the family estate of all its funds…and is acting like he can’t understand their lawsuit against him.
I don’t know why not…since he is the one spending the all the money. And has probably been more like they have been trying to call him.
I have seen some of the best…they grew up with me. And when I stood in court beside them and heard them speak…if I hadn’t been privy to what we were in court for…forget the judge…I would have believed them. And they were in court talking against me.
If they, Bernice and Martin, don’t stop Dexter…he is going to run straight through every nickle and dime they have and everything else. And whatever is left after he gets threw trashing the all the funds…that will go up on the auction block…just like it is in our situation.
It hurts…and people may not like it…may sit on the sideline surmising the situation…those outside of the King family. And even them themselves, Bernice or Martin may not like it. They might like having to do it…in fact I know they probably don’t. But if they don’t do it they will have to reap the consequences of the reckless disregard of their brother…as I now am after turning a blind eye to the situation until I was forced into it and had no choice but to deal with it…and try to get this upside down situation…rightside up again.
“Dragging the family name through the mud like that.”
But is there a cause?
You get a relative…a sibling…or relatives or siblings…who is out to plunder and destory everything that your parents worked for…and/or out trying to ruin your family name…and lets see how you would handle it. Short of going to jail…the only other way is by going to court. And that becomes public even if your name is not King.
Thinking about my last blog where I discuss my friend who had MS.
I really felt a bit guilty. I think I made it seem as though I had been some kind of great friend. When in fact I had not.
After writing that blog, I laid down and thought about it.
I had become some kind of radio super star. I found some new friends and rarely even spoke with my friend other than in passing. But yet she continued to be nice and pleasant towards me.
Where we had hung out together before during our first year on campus…during that second year and beyond we did not. I didn’t have time for her…I was…well…too busy making a name for myself at the campus radio station. And when I wasn’t there…I was…well…sitting around clowning and playing cards with my new friends. And I never thought of my friend much during those latter years…until I found out she was sick.
I think about that now.
If I could rewrite that history…I would.
I didn’t value our friendship. For that matter…I didn’t value her.
I made mention of this to another friend of mines this evening. And I said-
“You know I really need to write that…because really I wasn’t a good friend. And I think I made it sound as if I had been.”
And she said-
“Yes, but we were all 18…20 years old then.”
Treasuring people is not something that should come with maturity. But it should be iinstinctual and begin from day one…when or as people come into our lives.
That first year was nice…but boy what fun we could have had those other years…if I had only been wiser…and a real friend.
When my friend needed me…I was weak…and useless.
I will never forget going to visit her one day while I was working at a local radio in her town, which gave me cause to have to see her more regularly. But I will never forget getting there and finding out she had suffered 3rd degree burns all over her body. Simply because she had tried to bathe herself. There had been no one there to help her. The home health aide who was suppose to be there with her many times would not even show up or would leave early leaving my friend alone many times, as I later informed by my friend’s mother.
It angered me that no one paid attention to stuff like that…and that no one cared. That person…that home health aide whom I had never once seen in the few times I visited with my friend during the time I worked at that radio station…she should have never been allowed to do that. And not only that but my friend by this time was in such a state that she really needed round the clock care.
When I think back on it now…struggling that way kept my friend out of a nursing home and also near her daughter whom she adored…and who had virtually became the parent to her mother. She was just a young kid mostly caring for her mother almost virtually herself. And today she too is suffering with MS.
Just knowing that about the aide…I should have agitated for my friend for better care…or something. But not even that did I do.
I know you are waiting on some more Chinese…and I will give it to you…it’s coming. If only I can find my Chinese book.
Started really cleaning the house today…so any day now I should put my hand on that book. That is all I am going to say…except also my friend to whom I was talking with this evening pointed out to me how I spelled Collin Powell’s name wrong. Good looking out…now if I can just figure out how to correct that…I will. Thanks.
Got to get into New York on Sunday…it is my Pastor’s Anniversary. This will also give me a chance to visit with my friend who we believe is passing.
Wouldn’t it be great if God just lifted her up off of her sick bed. And gave her to speak again…to walk again…and to eat again. It is great to know that God is capable of doing all things…including that. And for Him that would just a light thing.
Well, God bless…
Before getting off the line with my friend…we started talking a little bit about politics.
It has been a bit tooquiet politically don’t you think?
It just means to me that those sneaky Republicans are busy planning how to rig the election. I have never seen a more dishonest bunch…outside of some of my own family members. I’m just kidding about some of my family members…but it could be a true statement…might be true. But they are mines anyhow. I can kid somewhat about it now…but believe me it has been a very trying time when you have to deal with family woes.
McCain can’t out talk him, can’t debate him…doesn’t have his youth, zeal or appeal. It’s like Buggs Bunny running circles around Elmer Fudde.
Look for the big fix…and all of the dirtious tricks they can pull out of their hats and anybody elses to start hitting the air waves soon. ©2008
Add a comment August 2, 2008