Estate Affairs…mortgages and foreclosures…

July 12, 2008 bsmith101
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Well, ma, I’ve been fighting to hold on.

Can’t see us loosing our parent’s home…just really can’t.  So, it has been a real battle and a lot of time with little to no sleep. 

The problem here is that both of my parents are deceased and there is no will…and there are 8 children…and none of us can agree upon anything.

However, the fact that there is no will, in this case, is really a blessing in disguise…because it makes us all equal in terms of say regarding the property.

For the most part the only thing at issue is the house…since everything else has virtually been ran through already.  And the house would have been also…except you just can’t readily go downtown and change the name on deeds…and thank God you can’t.  Or the house would have been gone too.

I don’t know how many of you have gone through the passing of parents.  For a very long time death had never touched us…I mean we went to funerals but never for anyone in our immediate family.  So, for a very long time we had been considerably blessed.  But oh…when death came calling…

It rocked our very foundation.

It is interesting that I can now speak of it.  For years I couldn’t utter it.  I could never put the words ‘passed’ and ‘my mother’ together.  It was reality but I could not wrap my mind around it.  I cried endlessly and prolongly and on…and on…and on…

Death took my mother. 

Mother’s are the thread that for the most part holds everybody together…near and far.  And our mother was exactly that.

I will never forget the morning I drove in…and the news met me as I stepped out of the car.

I didn’t even understand what was being said to me. 

I saw all the kids on the front porch and wondered ‘why aren’t they in school?’…as it was about 9 a.m. in the morning when I finally pulled up in front of my parent’s house…which was my habit to do at least once week on one of my day’s off.  Drive in…and check on things at home.

But that morning everything was different…and nothing has been the same since.

Daddy followed recently some 15 years later.

There is something about death that can bring about many things.  Change is certainly one of them…but it can also bring about a bunch of strangers…people you thought you knew…grew up with…who now talk and act very differently when people start closing their eyes and dying.

There is a rush to grab everything that is not tied down or screwed to the floor.  Everybody stakes out claims and start rammaging through everything…closets…safes…everything.  As though they had just been sitting around waiting on a time to do so.

Mommie’s eyes hadn’t been closed a hour when the fur coats, jewelry, clothes, hats, shoes…credit cards…insurance polices…etc…etc…all started heading out the front door.  All as daddy stood wiping his eyes too heartbroken to see the monsters that had suddenly sprang up among him tending to everything but him.  And I wasn’t much better…too lost in my own grief.  I saw it…but I was grieving.  And nothing else mattered…not even…daddy. 

For we had lost mommie…

It was a fight…and we are still fighting.  We had too much of everything.  They gave us far too much.  And the best of everything.  Perhaps if they had given us less…much less…there would have been more appreciation for them and less for their possessions.

I’ll have to finish this one at some point other than tonight…it is…too painful.

I’ve got to get to New York…a friend is passing and I need to get there.

Death is all around…

There was a time when I didn’t know her…but I have come to know her well in the pass few years…death.  And when she started coming…she…she…she just doesn’t seem to not want to stop.

….from me      God bless…    and enjoy your day.

And in your time of despair…I pray that God give you peace and replenishes your joy.  ©2008

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Entry Filed under: Dealing with loss,death,Estate Matters,Family Values,foreclosures,New York,Parenting

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