Family King… Estate matters…2

August 2, 2008 bsmith101
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I recently wrote how shocked I was to find out that Yolanda King had passed last year at the age of 51. 

In fact, I woke up this morning thinking just how blessed I am.  And it is not just that I am alive…but I have a son, I have a slew of fantastic nieces and nephews, a wonderful and encouraging church family, the best of friends, cousins etc…and then I was gifted with the very best of parents…and have always had the best of everything.  So, yes I awoke this morning thinking…how blessed I am.

Though I was shocked about Yolanda’s passing, I am not, however, shocked about the problems the siblings are currently having.  When you listen to Bernice King speak at Yolanda’s Home Going service,in the youtube footage in my last blog…there was a sense that something was going on among them.

 That is very unfortunate.

Bernice kept expounding on ‘listen to the voice of the Lord and give no heed to another.’

When people die there are a mixture of emotions which surface…among them are greed, selfishness and a sense of ‘I’m going to get mine before anybody else does’…just to name a few. 

When you are forced with having to deal with loss…greed and selfishness are not 2 things…along with anything else negative…that you want also on your emotional plate of loss and grieving.

For some…death brings their families closer together…but for more it drives them apart.  The court is loaded with families seeking legal relief regarding family issues which arose upon the heels of someone dying.

Just a few seconds ago I was chatting with a friend…the one who is hooked on youtube  and is emailing all those old R & B/Soul singers…and she informed me that Bernice and Martin, the third, had filed a law suit against their brother, Dexter King, for mis-managing family funds and the funds of their father’s center, the Martin L. King, Jr. Center for Non-Violence, in Atlanta, of which Dexter now heads.

There is nothing like death to bring out the absolute worst in people.  You will see and hear things you never would have thought would be coming from people you loved, trusted and never would have expected would be acting as they are now acting.

Estate matters hurt.  And more often than not they have to be dealt with through the courts…either Probate and/or Civil Court.

Regarding our own estate affairs on several occasions I have had to go into court to pursue some sort of action, such as becoming the Executor of my parent’s estate.  I needed to become the Executor of the Estate for one reason…because somebody has to be over the property….the property simply cannot regulate itself.  And the other reason that really prompted me to seek the Executorship of my parents estate was this.  Somebody had tried to take out $40,000 against my parent’s property…which was luckily declined.  This and worst are the kind of problems you can come face to face with when people start dying…and greed, selfishness and I’ve got to get mine… all enter the picture. 

It is hard to be at odds with family members…but it happens…and often.  And these fights are never kind.  No, on the contary they can be downright hateful and vicious…and surprisingly so.  But someone has to maintain the high road…the right road.  Somebody has to stand for truth and what is right…yet forsake the spirit of hatefulness and viciousness…though it is being showered upon you.  Otherwise, you will become just like the wrong party or parties…and no one will be able to decipher you one from another.  And that they might not be able to do anyway by the time the other side gets through dragging your name through the mud.

Just look to be demonized…if you are the one trying to do the right thing.  By the time you are really in the midst of it…they will…or he or she will…have you looking like the culprit to anyone who will give them an ear.  And everybody will come to you…and ask what are you doing?

Why are you tearing apart the family?

You will be the thief the robber and everything in between.

It will take much crying.  Many nights of soul searching…and living in isolation.  But prayer can conquer anything.   And lots of it.

And one other thing…having someone who will listen to you…who can offer wisdom and counsel you through it.  Someone who will not prosecute you…because they have already become contaminate by buying into what the other side was saying…because they bought into the lies.

I have found that you have to be able to voice you pain…your strife’s…the turmoil’s that you become faced with during life which keep you up all hours of the night…or all night. 

Just to be able to have one somebody…to be able to tell it all to.  Unloading verbally your problems can be an awful good feeling and somewhat of a healing tool in a time of need.  That is what my friend whom I have shared with you that we believe is in the process of passing.  When I coundn’t find anybody else with whom I could discuss it with…she gave me her ear…and she counseled me through it.  And I never once found her counsel lacking.

My problem was that I was in New York…and I kept saying-

“Oh, I’m not there.”

So, I allowed them to do what they were doing without me interfering.

I had no idea what was going or to what level…until I was forced to go home…even I was constantly questioning family members about it.

And God made it so I had no choice in the matter.  I was evicted…so, I had to go home.

Once there I came to find out that the very person I relied upon to keep me inform about matters at home…had been lying to me.  In fact, I came to find out that he was one of the culprits and he became one of my biggest antagonizers.  And that he had apparently never heard that inheritance comes after death.

Following the passing of my mother, my father took it very hard.  And it doesn’t help anything seeing your children clamoring for everything they can get…grab and snatch from you…and you haven’t even closed your eyes yet.

That has to hurt…after working all of your life for a bunch of people who suddenly become like strangers to you…can be, I have no doubt, devastating.  Yes, he became quite devastated…my father just eventually shut down and gave up.

Money and things can make people change…and go crazy.  And my parents had money and they had things…and nothing they had was cheap. 

We grew up living very well.

And I know I said it in my other blog on estate issues…but maybe we had too much.  One thing for sure we had no appreciation…and those who had some didn’t have enough of it to make difference on my father’s behalf.

If you would care to read more this story CLICK the LINKS below.

Some people may not understand why Bernice or Martin are going after Dexter.  But I do.

Dexter just bought a 4.16 million dollar home in Malibu…that’s Cali…in a ritzy suburb of LA…if you want to get specific.  But he heads the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center in Atlanta?  

It really doesn’t sound like Dexter intends to spend much time in Atlanta…doing his job and assisting in keeping the family legacy going.

No, it sounds more like Dexter has the glitter of Hollywood more on his mind…and a highly expensive pallet to go with it. 

On the surface it sounds more like little Dexter is out to deplete the family estate of all its funds…and is acting like he can’t understand their lawsuit against him.

I don’t know why not…since he is the one spending the all the money.  And has probably been more like they have been trying to call him. 

I have seen some of the best…they grew up with me.   And when I stood in court beside them and heard them speak…if I hadn’t been privy to what we were in court for…forget the judge…I would have believed them.  And they were in court talking against me.

If they, Bernice and Martin, don’t stop Dexter…he is going to run straight through every nickle and dime they have and everything else.  And whatever is left after he gets threw trashing the all the funds…that will go up on the auction block…just like it is in our situation.

It hurts…and people may not like it…may sit on the sideline surmising the situation…those outside of the King family.  And even them themselves, Bernice or Martin may not like it.  They might like having to do it…in fact I know they probably don’t.  But if they don’t do it they will have to reap the consequences of the reckless disregard of their brother…as I now am after turning a blind eye to the situation until I was forced into it and had no choice but to deal with it…and try to get this upside down situation…rightside up again.  

Many might not understand it…and may never understand why Bernice and Martin are doing this…filing a law suit against their brother.  In fact, people will say-

“Dragging the family name through the mud like that.”

But is there a cause?

You get a relative…a sibling…or relatives or siblings…who is out to plunder and destory everything that your parents worked for…and/or out trying to ruin your family name…and lets see how you would handle  it.  Short of going to jail…the only other way is by going to court.  And that becomes public even if your name is not King.

Thinking about my last blog where I discuss my friend who had MS.

I really felt a bit guilty.  I think I made it seem as though I had been some kind of great friend.  When in fact I had not.

After writing that blog, I laid down and thought about it.

During our first year on campus we had been great friends.  But during that second year…well…

I had become some kind of radio super star.  I found some new friends and rarely even spoke with my friend other than in passing.  But yet she continued to be nice and pleasant towards me.

Where we had hung out together before during our first year on campus…during that second year and beyond we did not.  I didn’t have time for her…I was…well…too busy making a name for myself at the campus radio station.  And when I wasn’t there…I was…well…sitting around clowning and playing cards with my new friends.  And I never thought of my friend much during those latter years…until I found out she was sick.

I think about that now.

If I could rewrite that history…I would.

I didn’t value our friendship.  For that matter…I didn’t value her.

I made mention of this to another friend of mines this evening.  And I said-

“You know I really need to write that…because really I wasn’t a good friend.  And I think I made it sound as if I had been.”

And she said-

“Yes, but we were all 18…20 years old then.”

Treasuring people is not something that should come with maturity.  But it should be iinstinctual  and begin from day one…when or as people come into our lives.

That first year was nice…but boy what fun we could have had those other years…if I had only been wiser…and a real friend.

I was not a good friend. 

When my friend needed me…I was weak…and useless.

I will never forget going to visit her one day while I was working at a local radio in her town, which gave me cause to have to see her more regularly.  But I will never forget getting there and finding out she had suffered 3rd degree burns all over her body.  Simply because she had tried to bathe herself.  There had been no one there to help her.  The home health aide who was suppose to be there with her many times would not even show up or would leave early leaving my friend alone many times, as I later informed by my friend’s mother. 

It angered me that no one paid attention to stuff like that…and that no one cared.  That person…that home health aide whom I had never once seen in the few times I visited with my friend during the time I worked at that radio station…she should have never been allowed to do that.  And not only that but my friend by this time was in such a state that she really needed round the clock care. 

When I think back on it now…struggling that way kept my friend out of a nursing home and also near her daughter whom she adored…and who had virtually became the parent to her mother.  She was just a young kid mostly caring for her mother almost virtually herself.  And today she too is suffering with MS.  

But my friend…she had managed somehow to wheel herself into the shower.  But she could not regulate the water properly…nor remove herself from up under it when it grew too hot.  My, Lord…

Just knowing that about the aide…I should have agitated for my friend for better care…or something.  But not even that did I do.

I know you are waiting on some more Chinese…and I will give it to you…it’s coming.  If only I can find my Chinese book.

Started really cleaning the house today…so any day now I should put my hand on that book.  That is all I am going to say…except also my friend to whom I was talking with this evening pointed out to me how I spelled Collin Powell’s name wrong.  Good looking out…now if I can just figure out how to correct that…I will.  Thanks.

Got to get into New York on Sunday…it is my Pastor’s Anniversary.  This will also give me a chance to visit with my friend who we believe is passing. 

Wouldn’t it be great if God just lifted her up off of her sick bed.  And gave her to speak again…to walk again…and to eat again.  It is great to know that God is capable of doing all things…including that.  And for Him that would just a light thing.

Well, God bless…

Before getting off the line with my friend…we started talking a little bit about politics. 

It has been a bit tooquiet politically don’t you think?

It just means to me that those sneaky Republicans are busy planning how to rig the election.  I have never seen a more dishonest bunch…outside of some of my own family members.  I’m just kidding about some of my family members…but it could be a true statement…might be true.  But they are mines anyhow.   I can kid somewhat about it now…but believe me it has been a very trying time when you have to deal with family woes.

But going back to the underhanded crafted and shameless Republicans.  The only way McCain stands a chance…is a fix.  It’s the only thing they can do because Obama is light years ahead of him. 

McCain can’t out talk him, can’t debate him…doesn’t have his youth, zeal or appeal.  It’s like Buggs Bunny running circles around Elmer Fudde.

Look for the big fix…and all of the dirtious tricks they can pull out of their hats and anybody elses to start hitting the air waves soon. ©2008


Entry Filed under: Barack Obama,Bernice King,Bush,Change,Cities,Dealing with loss,death,Dr. Martin L. King,Emotions,Estate Matters,family disputes,Family Values,health,King Family,LA,Law,lost of love ones,misch.,MUSIC,New York,Obama,politics,property dilemas,Reality Check,Republicans,wisdom,youtube

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