Archive for June 2009




The shot heard across the world…Michael Jackson gone…

They say that it always comes in 3’s. 

First…Carradine

Then…Farrah

Then…Ed McMann

Now, Michael?

I had thought about writing today…then got tired and decided not to.  But then the phone rang…and word came of  Michael’s passing.  And I have been in conversation after conversation trying to find out exactly what is what.  And all the while thinking…how sad.

I had heard about Farrah earlier today…but then had forgotten about it.  She had battled hard against cancer…but perhaps it was her battle with drugs…that had taken a bigger total on her.  Once the body becomes weaken…there is not much that it can do to ward off  too much of anything else.  And drugs had definitely weaken her.

Classical example of  ‘bad boy/good girl.‘  From the time she became involved with the wrong man…she just never recovered.   Though she had proven that she ‘really’ could act…all of  it  was blown to the wind when drugs became to her…a soul mate.

Michael at 50, just days away from his next birthday,  had years ago began  fighting his own addiction…surgery to his head, body and face.  It seems that once he got started…he could not stop.  It became perpetual.

Then on top it…I guess the injuries…to his back and knee… that he suffered while shooting that Pepsie commerical and after falling off stage…just never went away either.  So, down went the pills…and on came the addiction.

It is sad really…a life filled with so much promise should have such an end.  One can not help but to think about how much he seemed to romance the  idea of  becoming  ‘the next big thing’  behind Elvis after death.  So, much so that he even married into that family.   The King of  Pop vs  the King of  Rock & Roll…knocking at heaven’s gate.

But it is sad when you reflect and think back on Michael’s life…how he just never seemed to connect with life.   Somehow, it all seemed beyond him…just out of his reach… a real life… with any kind of  normalcy.   How he just never appeared to have felt comfortable being who he was.  How much he must have really hated himself… to ruin his face and body in the way that he did.  How sad he and lonely he must have  really been…that he only sought solace among young children.

How sad a life Michael had.  Never was allowed to be a real child…growing up in school…with real friends.   Once he had been sitting on top of the world…but over the course of years that world began to crumble from under him. 

He was king…because he wanted to be.  He could dance and sing his way into anyone’s heart.  And he did for years… years ago… but today was a new day.  Though…yes, he still had plenty of adorning and loving fans…who remembered Michael ‘when.’

Amid years of allegations of  child molestation…Michael lost most of all he had behind one legal battle after another.  And like R. Kelly…quietly paying parents off.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31554982/ns/entertainment-picture_stories/displaymode/1247/?beginSlide=1&beginChapter=1&beginTab=1

It was not hard to see that Michael had problems.  Much of  it started when Michael started listening to the handlers who caused him to separate himself from his parents and other sibling.  Filling his head with big ideas… how he didn’t need them.  And how he could make it on his own.

And he did.

He made it on his own.  And blew up…and became as large as life.

But through it all…all the money…platinum records/CD’s… sold out concerts… big record breaking contract deals… large real estate holdings… etc… he… he lost it all…and was hoping for a final horrah with plans for a final tour.   But it was not to be.  

Even when it seemed that he had it all…way up there on top of the world…you sensed that he was not happy.  And no amount of  famous names collected around him…or who he had managed to encase himself with…seemed to off-set that fact. 

Yes, Michael was never really happy.  Which is why he probably poured himself into his musical projects… and his talent the way that he did.  To some degree working… and performing… became hislover… the seat of his happiness.  The place where he forgot… he was Michael…isolated…and shut-up away from the rest of the world.

But he seemed to like being shut-up and away from the rest of the world…much like Howard Hughes.  But then life comes closing in on you.   It did for Elvis…it for Howard…and I suspect it did for Michael Jackson, as well.

Al Sharpton following the corners reporting…called Michael Jackson a trail blazer.  And that he truly was.  With more than 750 million albums/CD’s sold worldwide…13 Grammy’s…and tons of  other alccolades.  Eccentric at times…even down-right weird at others…he was nonetheless Michael Jackson…and perhaps the greatest entertainer of all times.

The whole music video industry would be nothing without the vision…foresight…intuitiveness and creative energy of  Michael Jackson.   He saw how music and videos could be merged and used as a creative medium and selling tool. 

Then there was his music…and with the on-slant of pop music…   Yes, I guess you could say he was the undisputed King of  Pop

Who could beat him?

Who could move like him?

Who had perfected their art the way he did?

During the MOTOWN 25th television special he stole the show with a single move…called the ‘moon walk.’ 

They say…he was frail.  

They say…it was the medication.

They say…it was the addiction to the pain pills.

I say…he found this world cold…and unaccommondating.

Elvis may have  impersonators…but Michael Jackson has spawd a slew of  ‘would be shinning stars.’

I am just sorry that I could not do anything to helf  him.  What a great loss.

One can truly say-

“He gave his life to his profession.”

http://www.popeater.com/music/article/michael-jackson-dead-at-50/544453

http://www.spinner.com/2009/06/25/artists-reflect-on-michael-jackson?icid=main|main|dl2|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.spinner.com%2F2009%2F06%2F25%2Fartists-reflect-on-michael-jackson

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31552029?gt1=43001

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/31555400#31555400

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/31562509#31562509

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31552029/ns/entertainment-music/

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529103,00.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/31571531#31571531

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31568341/ns/entertainment-music/?GT1=43001

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/31573698#31573698

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31568341/ns/entertainment-music/?GT1=43001

I am still twiddling my tumbs waiting on the publishers to finish.  I am counting down 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverthe time when my book will soon be made available for sale.  God is good…I am so happy to finally  have gotten it done and out…and into the final stage of the process…besides getting out to aid in selling it.

I am working hard on my book trailer for 4_printer_Promo_Cars_b_smith2‘youtube’…and my radio promo.

 Well, enjoy the rest of your day and evening. 

God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009

 THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.  You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card.  Thank you. 


Just DOUBLE CLICK to see the videos BELOW…and ignor the text which will appear.




1 comment June 26, 2009

The attitude of champions…

I feel for you, Serena.

Because when you loose…you hate yourself.  Because you know down deep…your fullest capabilities to win.   It is the mark of a winner…and time after time they push to continue to reach that mark.

Capabilities are good.  Many people have them…and never end up living up to them…their fullest capabilities.   Because it takes work…hard work…and plenty of dedication.   And many of us are just not willing to make the sacrifice…or sacrifices required to make it happen.

Just imagine how many of us have the capabilities to become champions.  But just lack the attitude of  champions…not to mention that burning desire to make it happen…which of course also encompasses…dedication and a displine to develop the craft to its highest level. 

But Michael had it…and probably still processes it as a businessman.  Tiger has it…Densel has it…Muhammad Ali…many have it.   They can iBut it takes that something more…that many of  us are just not willing to do…or add into our being.  But imagine the possibilities if we did.

Certainly, losses are to be expected…it goes with the territory.  You will some…and loose some…Tiger, Michael and Muhammad have all experienced it.   Even Denzel has experience a flop in the theaters…when a movie did not met its expectation in box office sales.  It is life.  But it makes winners work all the harder for the next time.

http://www.fanhouse.com/news/main/serena-williams-upset/505834

I am twiddling my tumbs waiting on the publishers to finish.  I am counting down 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverthe time when my book will soon be made available for sale.  God is good…I am so happy to finally  have gotten it done and out…and into the final stage of the process…besides getting out to aid in selling it.

 Well, enjoy the rest of your day and evening. 

God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009

 THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.  You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card.  Thank you. 


1 comment June 16, 2009

Corporate greed…re-organizing… retraining…America’s work force…

I had not noticed it until my son pointed it out to me.   But recently a 618495d8b3531004895010145efa6b30_200x0[1]very large car dealership here closed.  One day their lots were full…and the next everything was gone.  It happened so fast…I hadn’t even noticed that it had.

The MG bankruptcy is very impactful upon us all. 

What happened to all those mechanics…sales people…parts people etc….?

http://www.detnews.com/article/20090613/AUTO01/906130324/1148/auto01/58+Michigan+dealers+axed

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0609/23198.html

The dealership was large and had been in business for years…many years.  And I would have never guessed anything going on in the middle of this country would have effected it.   But it did.   And now a long time city company is now gone.  A city tax contributor…and employer is gone…a community event sponsor and underwriter is…very gone.

Now, one has to wonder what has happened to all those people who worked there?

Did they go to another dealership?

It is highly unlikely.  Even if one or 2 or…even a few of them managed to get a job at another dealership…the vast numbers of them did not.  Because every dealership is suffering from the same thing.  And all of them are fighting to keep their heads above the water.

Why?

3350_cc0640_001_45Ux250[1]Well, lets face it…who has money to buy a new car?

Everybody is trying to sit back and watch how things are going to work out.   So, it really isn’t a good time to go out and try to buy or make any large investments right now.  There is just to much…uncertainty.  That’s what people are thinking.   And rightly so.

So, there is an air of apprehension…and unsurety everywhere in this country…and probably around the world.

So, if people really aren’t spending money right now…every industry and company in this country is going to suffer. 

Then there is the other side of the coin too…

Many people have found themselves out of work and without any real prespects for future employment.

So, how is this thing going to work itself out?

How can it work itself out?

One of the most booming business is in the market today…is the computer…or better put is the internet.  Now, that is not to say that we are seeing the number of millionaires being churned out of it…as we did some years ago when interest in the infant stages of the internet initially started to take root.

What you see is a booming in wthe eb social sites…such as facebook, youtube, myspace etc….   And things like blogging, tweeting etc.

But people need jobs.  They need to be  able to meet their daily responsibilities and needs.

What about jobs?

What good is retraining people when they have nothing to be retained for?

It is  just a process with no real hope of a positive outcome for those who are being retained.

I recalled talking to someone who was in the process of graduating from a jr. college after being in a retaining program there.  She had worked many years in a factory doing piece-work.  So, she had to learn about u10466037[1]computers…their operation and so on…and a bunch of other things which she never had to have a knowledge of before…nor had to worry about learning before.  She was happy and looking forward to a progressive and shinning future following her graduation and all the time she had invested in her retaining.

But after coming across her again some months later…all that hope and enthusiasm was gone.  It had turned into desperation.  She had been retained and was hoping to get into medical billing…but there were no jobs in our town or any of the neighboring towns in the field.  And her other problem was…her age.

u21200953[1]Retraining people sounds good…but where do they go after they get retrained? 

Are they just being sold a bill of goods…false hopes…with no real relief once they have been forced out of their old jobs.

The first problem with the retraining system is that employers  need to be honest with the people they push out of  jobs.  Stop selling them a bill of goods…and false dreams when they know that there are no jobs out there for all these people.  And that those workers will never get back what they are loosing…by way of their old jobs…not to mention the pay…or benefits.

The only real way of fixing this problem is to bring  jobs back into America.  All this farming out of  jobs abroad has to stop.  Manufacturing has to be brought into this country.  There must be a recreation of  jobs in America.

All these American companies have gone abroad…where they can get labor cheaper…and this has seriously hurt the workers in this country…our economy…our neighborhoods…ownership of homes…and means of providing for our familes.

Jobs that millions of Americans used to get up and go out to daily are now gone…vanished into the thin air.  While their factories…and buildings…and compounds…sit abandon…or have been rehab into condominiums…or artists lofts. 

And the internet didn’t help any either.   It made it easy for companies to employ foreign workers…by merely writing a deal and providing them with phone lines.  It was just that easy.  They made a deal with someone sitting in a house or some back room somewhere…who you can’t even understand…and sounds like the exact same person from company to company whenever you have to contact a customer service department for any reason.   Some guy with a thick accent handling customer service for a lot of different companies.  

Forget about the fact that…you can’t understand them…rather him…because they (he) can’t understand you…and if  it’s not him…then it is her.  They must be related or a husband and wife team.   Because they have the exact same accent.  And you get them all the time…just him…or her…no matter what company or product you think  that you are calling about.

So, you call trying to work out a problem and hang up with a u10068805[1]headache…having resolved nothing.  Because neither of you could understand the other.  Perhaps, the company who make deals with these type of service providers in various countries…and it sounds like one specific person…handling many different lines…but maybe the companies that farm out their customer service departments to entities such as these…really shouldn’t be getting our business in the first place.  Because they could care less if we get helped or not.   

They just want to say that they have customer service…because it makes people feel better when they buy a product or service to know that if their is a problem or question they can hound somebody about it.   So, these companies just want to say that they offer customer service…not intending to actually provide it.  So, they hire someone who can half speak English to help us.  

These companies…that gave away those jobs that Americans used to have in their customer service departments…they only look at the bottom line.   What do they care about service…or whether we get some or not?  Or whether the guy understands you or not?   They don’t have to talk to him…but we do. 

These companies really shouldn’t be getting our business…because in fact when they farm out jobs abroad…they are in fact…destroying this country…by destroying the job force here…by deleting more and more jobs in America in pursuit of  cheaper and cheaper labor.  It is really unfortunate that we never experience their poor customer service departments…until after we have bought into the service or purchased their products.

I understand that we live in a capitalistic society.  I even understand global capitalism…and that for capitalists the bottom line is everything…but not if you cut off your own nose in spite of your face.  And that is exactly what sending America’s  jobs abroad has ended up to being. 

Without jobs…people can’t buy…anything.   The whole country is at a stand still…because everything has been farmed out…outside of our own borders.  And though those countries are getting the jobs…but they are not earning enough money to uplift them or their country.  Therefore these companies seeking the cheap labor cannot create any other potenial customer markets for their companies which are taking advantage of these pooper countries…by under paying them.  Because they can’t afford anything…either…though they have the jobs.  But they are making no real money…or better put…earning.

    GM dealership closings by state

    Ala —.33; Alaska — 0; Ariz. — 11; Ark. — 17; Calif.— 65; Colo. — 15; Conn. — 11; Del. — 2; Fla. — 35; Ga. — 24; Hawaii — 2; Idaho — 8; Ill. — 66; Ind. — 48; Iowa — 46; Kan. — 29; Ky. — 23; La. — 10;.
    Maine — 14; Md. — 21; Mass. — 29; Mich. — 58; Minn. — 39; Miss. — 14; Mo. — 38; Mont. — 16; Neb. — 21; Nev. — 3; N.H. — 6; N.J. — 33; N.M. — 10; N.Y. — 60; N.C. — 36; N.D. — 6.
    Ohio — 79; Okla. — 17; Ore. — 21; Pa. — 90; R.I. — 3; S.C. — 24; S.D. — 16; Tenn. — 30; Texas — 55; Utah — 6; Vt. — 26; Wash. — 18; W.Va. — 25; Wis. — 50; Wyo. — 6.
    Nation — 1,323

Therefore, greed just does not pay.

What seemed like a great idea…going abroad to obtain cheaper labor has in fact worked against these American companies.  So, it seems that the only way of rectifying the problem is to bring the jobs back to America…which is still the largest customer market in the world…when we are working.

So, yes…THE BISHOP’S WIFE, my book is due to be out soon.  A matter of a couple weeks now…and I am so excited.  I will keep you abreast.  And soon you will be to see the youtube ad for it.   Haven’t completed it yet…but I am working on it.  In it you actually get a chance to hear me.  I don’t think you will see me…but you will hear me…and perhaps see a phone.   As I see that many of you have checked out my ABOUT page…seeking to find out more info on me.

I am media…that is what I am.2ab-the-bishop-wifecover

 Well, enjoy the rest of your weekend. 

Just finished getting my hair done…and plan on being in church tomorrow.   And yes… I am still trying to catch up on my sleep…and will be doing so for quite time as I have a weeks of sleep to catch up on.

God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009

  THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.  You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card.  Thank you. 



2 comments June 14, 2009

EXTREMISM…Chastity Bono

I had thought not to touch this story and just keep my private thoughts on it to myself…and share  them among friends only…and only if they asked me.  But after thinking about it I realized that I could not.

One of the things about coming out of something…is that you sometimes can become highly convicted in your stance against  whatever it is or was that you may have come out of.  Or in other words…things you no longer wallow in…or transgress in…indulge in…or no longer partake in…and was the way you used to be…etc…  So, you emerge from it  being  very strongly opposed to it.

You become very anti- it…about  whatever it was  or is that you used to do…or who you used to be…but now are not…or of  that which you no longer do…or indulge in.    You in fact…move all the way over to the far left side of the bar…and become an extremist regarding that issue…or thing that once had you bounded.  Usually, the farthest  you can get from it…emotionally and opinion-wise as well.

So, having already told you that I was once ‘in the life’  in several other blogs…meaning  I was a lesbian…gay…lived  in the homosexual lifestyle…then I feel I can freely talk on this subject.  But do not ask me anything about drugs or alcohol…or most of anything else…because I know little to nothing on such subjects…outside of the fact of what I have seen regarding the affects of them…or the after-affects of them.  That being said…

Chastity Bono, the daughter of Rock icons Sonny & Cher of the 70’s, decision to alter her sex…and the way that it is being presented in the media…really kind of disturbs me.  Not her decision to change her sex…because that is her choice…but it is the media (the type of coverage) on it that concerns me.

Having had been in the life for many years…some I don’t know…more than 30+ years…I have known many women.  But the people I knew…or should say know…as I still know them…and still converse with some of  them…though I do not hang out with them…but all of them were women who were happy to be women.  In fact…they celebrated their BLD056858[1]woman-ness… sought out places that were exclusively women… restaurants… bookstores… vacation spots… curise-liners… clubs… etc…

So, Chastity’s decision is not the norm… far from it, in fact.   Many lesbian women have no dealings with men.  And hate them for various historical reasons in regard to their lives and past histories.

Though today, I do see many more young girls trying to really do this thing…that is called ‘butch’ themselves up.  With the hanging pants…and all the other things they do.  But still it is not the norm.  And thank goodness for that.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/11/chastity-bono-becoming-a-man-2/?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl3|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tmz.com%2F2009%2F06%2F11%2Fchastity-bono-becoming-a-man-2%2F

Imagine this world…if  everybody decided that they wanted to u13351086[1]change who God created them to be?

How whacked out this place would be?

Some people would be walking around calling themselves some kind of animal…maybe this is a bit  extreme.  But not that far fetch… considering some of the things that some people involve themselves in.

I can’t image wanting to change my sex to become a man.  I am so happy that I never had that conflict.  I mean I have always wondered…how it is that men go to the bathroom when they do the number 2?  u18855339[1]

Do men sit on the toilet and have to hold that piece downward in their hands?   I don’t really know men like that as I was a lesbian.   So, I have no way of knowing.  But I do have a serious thing about germs.  I know I really wouldn’t want to do that.   I would be so afraid that I might touch some filthy toilet seat…if  I were out in public having to do that.   Though  rarely do I go to the bathroom while out.

And yes…I am a bit naive.  I do admit it.  There are many things that I do not know.

And since we are on the subject…   When they…men…stand over the urinals…all of that spattering…all over your pants legs.  Who wants to go through all of that?

Yes, I am happy to be a woman.  Though the men’s bathrooms tend to be a bit cleaner.   I have heard that.

But if…I were a man.  Why would I want to be a woman?

What would be the benefit of that?

s1051676[1]I am just so glad that God does the selecting and choosing…as to what we will be.  Could you imagine a more confusing situation than that?   Trying to choose whether your child would male or female.   Though some scientist have tried to come up with a way of doing just that.  And many countries  put a premimium on one sex over  the other…the male species.  Though without women this world would come to a very sudden and complete end.

But  going back to my original train of thought…I just could not see myself as being a man…or having ever wanting to be one.  And thank goodness none of my gay women friends have had to battle with that either…nor any of my male friends.

I can imagine the pain that one must go through having that conflict.  Because that has to be one very big and hard inward battle going on to decide to do such a thing.

The truth of the matter, however, is this…the mind plays tricks…and if you are not careful you will fall into the trap.  Of  believing something that is not so.

If  you look into the mirror every day thinking that you hate what looks back and that-

“I would look good as a man.”

Or perhaps…as a woman.  Sooner or later you will begin to believe that you should have been born a man or a woman.   You will also start to believe that you see certain characteristics or qualities about yourself…which in reality  have been sub-consciously taken on…and/or implanted in your sub-conscious…which may not  truly be there…and do not really exist.   But because it is what you want to see and  placed in your mind…it is what you will see.  So, if you desire to see certain things…over time you may come to believe that you see them.

Then in turn you will believe that those characteristics verify the fact that you should be…and are really something else other than what you are.  And so you come to the final conclusion that through some trick or error of  nature you were born a woman rather than a man…or visa versa.

All that kind of thinking is a head-trip…a real mind game.  You will see what you want to see…you will feel what you believe you want to feel.s1045511[1]

The mind is wicked…and highly deceptive.

For most of my life I have thought of myself as being unattractive…ugly in fact.  I never wanted mirrors arround…hated to take pictures…etc.   Because I hated seeing me.  It was not until I had to start taking pictures for my book cover…that I came to  realize that I am really not ugly.  In fact, I have to laugh…because of all the years I let get pass me believing myself to be ugly when I was not.

Then too, in my book I made a statement…which made me really 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverhave to think.  I state in my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, how I had been stalked at least 3 separate times in my life.  After writing that…I began to think about what it was those people saw in me that would have lead them to want to do that.  When I know many good-looking people…very good-looking…exceedingly good-looking…and they had never been stalked.

So, why me?

This is when I thought…again.

Here it was all those years I never realized that I was not ugly.   Because of my profession and always being the public eye…people gravitated to me.  And people who listen to you over the radio…

Well, they just fantasize  about everything…and they all believe they love you.  But I could not have looked that terribly bad…to have problems with 3 separate people at various times in my history.

But I never really knew until I looked into those pictures for my book…that I wasn’t as bad looking as I had thought  I had been for all of my years.  It is amazing.  But it was a mind game…which for me came about when I started thinking that I was not as good-looking as any of my sisters or brothers…as a young child.  And that shaped my thinking of myself for all of these years.

My mind had me tricked…I saw that which my mind allowed me to see.  And so I lived under that shell all of my life until about 6 months ago.

Let me take a quick station break:  my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE… is coming…. Yes, my book is  coming…I will definitely let you know when it is available for purchase.

Now…back to the subject.

I was deceived by my mind a 2nd time…when I fell into lesbianism.  But thank God…I didn’t sink so far down that I ever thought about mutilating myself…with a sex change.

http://www.usmagazine.com/healthylifestyle/news/chaz-bono-im-enjoying-life-as-a-man-20092910

And yes…I had met some hardcore women…who wore men’s clothes and under garments.  Some even who  thought it manly to beat up their lovers and/or girlfriends.  But I never heard any one of them talk about changing their sex…or wanting to do so…no matter how much outwardly they tried to emulate men.

Yes, though we were living in confusion…we were far from being that confused.  And I thank God…from removing me totally from it.  I no longer dwell in a ball of confusion…and under the cloud of lesbianism.

But the article that I read of  Chastity Bono’s decision to under-go a sex change was so accepting of it…as though it were a natual transition in life…something acceptable. I would hate to think that any poor child or teenage or another adult currently battling with issues over their sexuality…should read that  article and think that such a thing is either natural…or really acceptable.  Not acceptable to you or me…but for themselves.  As it goes against nature.

And there have been many articles and books written on the subject…some opposing and some pro.  But there have been many regrets regarding that whole process.  And I have seen much sadness and anguish among those fighting that battle.

As I mentioned in at least 2 other blogs…I did know a guy…who when I met him was in the process of under-going his sex change.  I met him as the women he presented himself  to me to be…as he had started coming to Salsa Soul Sisters meetingsa lesbian organization in New York City…and we all at the time  believed that he was a woman.  But from the time I met him…and I cannot call him ‘her’…I would be lying if I said that.  But from the time I met him…in the back of my mind I always felt that something about him was out of whack.

I have met many gay guys…but had never met one trying to become a lesbian before.  And neither had anyone else in Salsa Soul Sisters either…until we all met him…who presented himself as a woman to us all.   But when they found out…nothing could hold them back…those black lesbian women.

One night those women stormed into Salsa and turned that meeting out…because they were not having a biological man…turned lesbian…or turning lesbian…within their organization and on their board.  And they meant every word of it…and voted that night ‘that no one born biologically a man could ever sit on the board of Salsa Soul Sister, Inc. or become a member of  Salsa.’     That was their sentiment…and they were right.  I did agree…and still agree even though I am no longer a member.

The fact is…regardless of the pills and surgery…you will always be what God created…biologically.  You can change your name…your hair style…your walk…talk…even your game…or anything  and everything else you want to change.  But underneath it all…your real DNA…can’t be changed.  It can be confused…I guess with all that medication.   But  who you are…is who you are.  It is who you really are…and that can’t be changed no matter what.     No matter how much you dislike it…or dislike yourself.

I don’t know when I saw it…but it was on television.  I think it was a Barbara Walters’ special.  It was one of the saddest and most horrifying shows I had watched in my many years of watching TV.  It was a show on parents allowing their children to cross-dress.  Byk1261249[1] this I mean…there are parents who are allowing their very young pre-teen children…sons or daughters to decide that they were not whatever sex they had been borned…and dressing like whatever they wanted to be.

It was horrifying.  Truly, horrifying.

It made me sick to see a  4 or 5 year old being allowed to demean himself  or herself  in that fashion.   And they looked hideous.

At such young ages children being bred in a continuous state of high confusion…and their own parents abetting them in doing so.  It was terrifying…absolutely terrifying.

In one of those stories, Barbara visits with a family who allows their little boy to dress as a little girl…long hair…the whole 9 yards.   The little boy has a baby sister.  Her cup and everything about her is pink…while everything for him was blue…do note the word ‘was.’

The boy wanted the pink cup…the pink this and the pink that.  Well, it really doesn’t  take a rocket scientist to figure that thing out.  The little k1669660[1]boy had become jealous of his little sister.  I don’t know…maybe the parents stopped doting on him and became pre-occupied with his little sister.  So, he of course wanting his parents attention once again…he might desire to become his little sister…or some how take her place in order to regain their…his parent’s attention and love again.

So, what does his little confused mind decide to do?

He starts wanting what she has… her things… clothing…etc.  He develops a desire to replace her… by becoming her.   Thus, a desire to be a little girl… as in his confused little mind he views it as being the root cause and remedy to his little situation.

It is not at all that he really wants to be a girl.  But he desires his parents’ attention again.   Which if his parents had taken any time with him…it would obvious to them.   That the love he felt that they have taken from him and given to the k1376526[1]little girl…his sister…he wanted it back.

Then there is this other side of the coin.  If the little boy doesn’t like boy stuff…toys, sports etc..

So, what if  he doesn’t grow up playing baseball…or basketball…or watching sports.  It doesn’t mean you have to put your stamp all over him…and say-

“I know what…we’ll call him girl.”

And  dress him up like one.

Yes…I do know that some gay guys…and even some women… claim that they knew they were gay from the craddle.  But closer examination on the matter…might bring them to some other opinion if they really sat down and looked back at things in their history that they may have forgotten.

It is a mind game.  Some kids grow up thinking that they are the biggest and the baddest.  Some that they are stupid and don’t know anything.  Some believing that they are beautiful…some that they are smart.  It can vary depending upon who they are…what their social-economic backgrounds… neighborhoods… family… schools… churches…etc.. and what is going on within their home.   But over time it almost always changes…our preception of ourselves…and the world around us…and how we view ourselves in it.

Imagine a little child…4 or 5 years old trying to fight that battle everyday.   Of  having to go to school everyday…and trying to interact with other children…dressed as a little girl when he is a little boy.  It is a ticket to suicide…or drug abuse…and self hate.

Most gay guys can’t even deal with issues from their history…family rejection…etc. when they reach older ages.   They battle those issues most of their lives.    Which is why many of them suffer from alcholism, drug addictions…and indulge so heavily in all types of dangerous sexual practices.

Yes, sadly…I have seen and heard many gay people…mostly men…crying over their broken relationships with their families…endless cycle of  broken love relationships…etc.   Crying over their  lives wreked in pain and sorrow.   Dealing with dying lovers…ex’s …rejections…regrets… etc…etc…  It is hard no matter whether straight or gay to deal with such things.  It’s hard.  But then to have the added burden of  being rejected by your classmates… churches…and society too…makes it all the more worst…and painful…and as a kid?

All across the gay community there are vast levels of self-hate…fear…and self-destruction.  It is sad…very sad.  So, how could any loving or caring parent indulge their child  in any such way as to let them suffer with such thoughts…and conflicts that they…themselves have probably placed upon their child in the first place?   Of which the child may end up battling and trying to fight…and deal with for the rest of their lives.   When all they…the parent or parents of that little boy… had to do was get rid of all that ‘pink and blue’ stuff…and stop setting up stereotypes…and road blocks for their son.   And tried to give him…their  son some quality time.   Rather than to assist him into the further creation of confusion in his little life…by buying him girls clothes etc…and engage him in trying to emulate something which the child is not.  He is not a girl…nor a joke.  Or a plaything…he is a real person…who is on his way to  being badly damaged.

Beu18075991[1]ing a woman encompasses a variety of things.  We do and think differently from the male species.  Our tendencies towards giving, sharing, helping, family, responsibilities, listening, conversing with others, aiding, depth of compassion, commitment, emotions, emotional strenght etc…and so much more are all quite different from men.   It is  far more than one group having a different set of sex organs from the other.  And all the pills and operations…and therapy in the world is not going to change this.

I personally  think that that particular Barbara Walter’s special should have never been aired.  There are some things better not put out there for public consumption.  People start to get simular ideas…and start following suit…copying eveything they see and ear.   We sadly live in a world of people who have  stopped thinking for themselves…and merely seek to duplicate…follow…and do likewise.  And for some people  it is just simplier to assist certain behavior rather than try to work to stem it.

Isn’t that a horrible why to be?

Even worst…to have that kind of parent…or parents.

We would all have been in trouble with those kind of parents…that were that Barbara Walter’s special.  Many parents from time to time feel helpless…but they do not give in to their helplessness.  No, another force kicks in…and they step it up…to the next level.  Parents have to…because all parents are faced with challenges when it comes to their children…at some point or other.  And you just can’t throw up your hands saying-

“I just can’t do anything.”

At that point…some people know that there is one other thing.  They start to pray.  There is power in it.

Finally, no matter what  Chastity’s decision concerning trying to alter her sex…she will always be known as woman…who had a sex change…if she proceeds with the operation and all those pills (which she probably already has done seeing how they have released the story).    But she will never be known as ‘a man’…no matter what she does to herself.  People may pretend…but in the back of their mind will be the fact that she was and will forever be…woman.

Well, in between, Chastity’s decision to change her sex…and that supposed man having another baby (another subject that I said I was not going to touch…as I have already given him rather her too much of my time already)…it has been a very busy week.

In the end Chastity will always be a woman who had the operation.  That is how people will see her…never as a bonafided man.   That only comes by birth.  It is the way people think.  And it is true really… and we should keep it that way.

Besides, if you are truly unhappy with yourself…do you really believe that changing your sex is going to do it?

I say no.

True happiness is something that you have to find within you first.  Putting up pretenses…or  making superficial changes…only brings about more unhappiness… and sadness.

How can you feel happy…when you put up a bunch of pretenses?

I have sat on the trains (the subway) in New York and watched the drag queens.   Unless they were out partying and hanging with friends did I see any gaiety.  Most of  time when I saw them…I saw a lot of saddess…emptiness…and loneliness.

I also talked to some and knew some.  It is how I knew of the inner conflicts.  Which a lot of gay women have too.  I didn’t I did…but I guess I must have.  Because I am so happy that I am out of the life…and have no intentions of ever going back into it.

View Bernadine Smith's profile on FiledByIt is a hard life…and if  the  truth be told.  Life is not  easy for most of us.   And all of  us have found something which we don’t like about ourselves.

But we deal with those things without trying to destory ourselves in the process…or tear ourselves apart.    And that is how I feel about sex change operation.   It is very much like  trying to go against the grain.

One other observation…  Chastity’s girlfriend really looks a bit like her mother.

Well, enjoy your weekend.   And I am still trying to catch up on my sleep.

UPDATE: ON CHAZ (Monday, September 5, 2011)….recently read that she will be on ‘DANCING WITH THE STARS’ this season.  Needless to say there has been an outcry against it.  And I am not really going to say much on it…except this.

Look for her to be voted off the show early.  Controversy brings about higher ratings.  And I have no doubt that some people are going to tune in just to see Chaz’ transformation for themselves.

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=667737&gt1=28103

Chaz was smart in that she only elected to make some outward changes…and not have other parts of her body touched.  Which makes me think of a conversation that I had recently with a cousin.

That conversation was about gay men who had the operation.  My cousin was trying to tell me that when the so-called ‘bottom’ partner… and not all gay men think as my cousin was trying to tell me.

What she was trying to tell me… as if she really knew anything about which she was talking about… that there was a thing known to gay males as the ‘bottom’ partner and the ‘top’ partner.  That is while they are engaging sexually 1 male is always the 1 on the bottom, while the other sexual partner is the 1 taking him sexually from his position on the top.

While not all of them… gay males operate like that.  And how do I know… because not all gay women operate that way either.  Some do… but not most.

I know this because my cousin Vincent… a gay male… would tell me about some of his partners who would try to force him into taking them sexually… which he never did.  But Vincent was not the norm… and had lost partners because of that.  Anyway… my female cousin who was talking about this was talking like this was the norm for the masses… which is not true.

So, I told her that the real thrill in homosexuality did not come from anything more than knowing that it was ‘a man’ …or ‘a women’ depending upon the preference of the people dealing with each other sexually.   And I told her this in an attempt to explain that once someone went through the operation of having their sexual organs changed… that also changed the whole dynamics of their relationship.

Real homosexuals only want someon of their own sex …be it a man or women.  So, therefore if their lover underwent a sex change… they would cause many to get out of that relationship… because the person who underwent the sex change no longer had that part of them that attracted the other person to them in the first place.

Therefore, if the person’s mind becomes warted enough to want to take their body through some type of outter transformation… most elect to not touch their sexual organs.  Which is what Chaz had also elected not to do.

And even if  Chaz had chosen to do the entire thing …and get the whole thing done in terms of having had the final step done… the re-structuring of her sex organs… she still would be a woman.  No matter what she does.  It is utterly imposible to totally erase God’s stamp upon you …in terms of whom He has declared we shall be… male or female.

It is amazing to me how so many people like to talk about homosexuality as if they are in the know… and do not have any real understanding of it at all.

How in the world could my cousin…my female cousin… who had never really been in ‘the life’ as I had been… tell me anything about a life I was definitely a part of for many years… in regards to what our selections and sexual behaviors are that lifestyle?

I would know… because I lived the life.  And in it we… lesbian women were always tied in things… events and discussions etc. with the gay male population.  We shared spaces together, concerns, emotions, conflicts etc. all being homosexuals.  Which I was at that time… I was in the gay lifestyle.  And that is what Chaz is in… the gay lifestyle.

Having an operation can’t take you out of it… it can’t take you out of  being gay.  But it does indeed intrence you deeper in it.  Because you are making some extreme choices that later you might  just want to be able to step away from… if  or when your mind  …or prespective on this lifestyle changes.

This thing is deep…

God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009

THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK on the image of my book cover to purchase my book.   Thank you. 




8 comments June 12, 2009

I’m back… What? A soda what?

BLD043504[1]Well, I finally did it…and now at last I can get some real sleep.  And I have a lot of sleep to catch up on.  But I finally got the final edition of the book off and out…and I am so glad.

So, while I doze… enjoy Frankie…

Because I am really tired…haven’t gotten much sleep in the past 4 weeks because I have been burning that mid-night oil…day and night.  But it was worth it.  I have managed to produce a quality piece of work…through the grace and mercy of God.  And I am so happy about it.

But I have been thinking about that tax on soda

I really have never heard anyone say that soda caused some kind of physical condition…or was hazardous to anyone’s health.  Anything can kill you if you indulge in it too much.  But are we going to go around and start taxing everything…because of some kind of mis-preceived notion that it causes people to get sick andk0876817[1] adds millions  to Medicare or become some type of burden on medical plans across America?

Oh, course not.  Least ways…I hope not.

The whole thing sounds absolutely ridiculous. 

Besides, it’s not like soda isn’t already taxed with that 5 cent  charge on the cans and bottles.  Does alcohol have that?

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124208505896608647.html

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0509/22675.html

My goodness…some people just want to take all the pleasure out of life.  Like being able to go and buy a simple little soda…without it being a hardship.

Then I was thinking…how do you take over a company and not really manage it?

I understand that the government doesn’t want to really get into the automobile industry…nor do I  want the government in it.  But don’t tell me you are going to takeover something…and then tell me that you are turning it over to a bunch of guys who will call all the shots with little to no one watching over them.  Too much freedom…far too much.   I think that…if they were or are that good…then Obama should have sold them the company…or something…and just been done with it. 

The whole thing sounds a bit too Big Brother-ish to me.   You know as in George Orwell-ish.  I really don’t like seeing government overstepping it bounds…and I don’t care how much I like Obama.

After listening to him talk about how “he didn’t want to get into the auto industry business.”   Only made me think…

“Woe…pull back a little Obama.”

Because you see when you become the President of the United States…you ceased to be a little independent operator any more.  There is a much bigger picture.   There is no more “I’ or “Me”….it is all “We,” baby.

The President of the United States of America is not an “I”…but a “We.”   And she or him…must operate in that capacity at all times…and think like it.

You are not an “I”…Obama.   But a “We”…presenting every person in this country…as the head of our government.   So, you have no “I.”    It is either “Us,”  “Our” or “We.”  You are the Head of State…aren’t you?

Consider yourself…like the head of a major company.  Like the one you’re turning over to those guys…and then you may get the real picture about the ‘me…myself…and I.’    It no longer exists for you.  You’re…you’re the President.

So, kill the “I.”

Go back to what the founding fathers of this country intended…mixed with some Hamliton, Jackson and all those other schools of thought…as to who and how a President of this country should operate…and think.  

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/02/business/02assess.html42-17093817[1]

And forget about taxing soda.  Isn’t it enough that we have gas taxes in some states, taxes on clothes and property taxes…and on almost everything else.  Can we not start putting tax on food too?

My goodness…just buying groceries…if you go in for a few things…and I do mean a few things…cost you $100 or more.  A large pack of hamburger is $10…cereal is k0256783[1]about $6…milk is $4 something…butter is $5…ice cream about $6…bread is $3…laundry detergent is $8…chicken wings is $8…a pack of hot dogs is $5+.   And now you want to tax soda.   Oh, give me a break.

What next…a tax on Kool-Aid?

And you know what I really can’t stand?

u26165724[1]It’s a bunch of  health nuts.   Do-gooders who are going to force you into something…by making it a burden to you.

Obama drinks beer and smokes cigarettes.  And I am not out there running around trying to shove anything down his throat about the ills of those things.  And lets face it…the reports are out…all over the place about them…and been out about them.  

Cigarettes and beer…which is a form of alcohol…is harmful to you body…cells and everything else…including to people around you.  Can they say the same about soda?

So, what if it is a sugary drink.  I like sugary drinks.  I add sugar to my cup of tea…and many people add it to their coffee…lots of it.   I also love lemonde and ice tea.  Should I have to suffer a tax for loving these things?  In fact…I drink them alot…but do not touch alcohol.  Will the next conversation to hit the House floor on Capital Hill be about taxing all the things we can add sugar to?   Like cereal…desserts…Kool-Aid…lemonde…etc…   Maybe it will become against the law to add sugar to anything.

The whole discussion is crazy and highly illogical.  Ridiculous in fact.

Yes, I’m back…and with a vengeance.  And I have a lot of things I have been holding in…for such a time as this.

THE BISHOP’S WIFE…is coming….    Yes, my book is  coming…and I am very 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverhappy about that.   Though the road has been rocky.  I am really beginning to believe that this whole self-publishing thing is a racket.  And filled with racketteers.

But if you will excuse me…I really must get some sleep now.  I am sure I will have more to say on this tax subject…but not now.  I am just too tired.   This is the first night I have gotten into bed before 7 AM in weeks.

So, enjoy your day tomorrow…and we’ll be talking.  I’m sure.

THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.  You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card.  Thank you. 

God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009




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