Archive for June 2010




It’s not all about me… or you… Good & Evil… Pastor Sheryl Brady’s new home… women in ministry…

Pop culture I guess has its place  but in glancing back at some of the title of  blogs I have written…it strikes me that most of them are sheer junk.

What do I care about Mary J’s hair styles?

Or whether or not Venus wants to show her behind off during the recent tennis tournament in Paris?

Can’t even think of  it’s name now…that’s how  much it really matters to me.

Or what about this…

Why should I care whether or not Gary Coleman was murdered or not?

Because…   Well, because I guess way down deep there is a part of me that does care.   Though recently I was called non-caring…  selfish…  self-centered…  and not kind.  Now, that really hurt.  

I’m not kind?

I’M NOT KIND???????

How dare anybody tell me that I am not kind.  All the money I have spent.  All the things I have done.   And they say-

“I’m not kind?”

This has been eating at me since I heard it.  Which was roughly about 3 weeks ago at my brother’s graduation.  But I have just been trying to play it off…like it didn’t bother me.  But somewhere back there in the far crevices of my mind it has lingered.  Periodically it would pop up and I would push it back out of my mind.  And I would just refuse to acknowledge it…or that it even really mattered to me to have heard that.

But it did.

My weapon against it came to mind from Biblical text… how the Bible says that they will call evil good …and good evil.

Well, why not?

It seemed to fit… and fit perfectly.  I after all I do not consider myself to be a bad …mean …or even an evil person.

Yes, I have had to do some things.  But never without cause or justification.  Some I didn’t want to do… but I did it thinking I was forced to. 

So, then too as many people as I have given to… poured out myself  to …gave to when I didn’t have it to give…   Then so… how is it that I should be considered ‘not the kind one?’

Well, if you give from the heart you do not walk around talking about your giving.  You just give.

You give because you see that somebody needs.  You give because you are compelled to… and you respond to the force which compels you to do so.  You give without expecting anything in return.  You give not seeking a slap on the back or a pat on the hand.  You just give… because-   Well, because there was something you saw… you sensed…   you witnessed… and your heart opened up …and you just gave.

It could have been a word… that is what they call ‘a kind word.’   Or it could have been financial.  Or it could have been of  your time  …or a token of your wisdom… if you have some.   But you gave it to meet a need in someone else.

And so, at the end of the day you do it without seeking fame or glory.

So, yes.   From time to time you are bound to be not called ‘the nice one’  or ‘the kind one.’   Because you gave while no one was looking …and you weren’t looking for them to be so… being you sought not recognition.  You just gave…and it made somebody’s day… and probably your’s too.

So, it’s not all about me …or you either.  It is about others.

And who cares whether others recognize your giving …or your caring …or your kindness …or the level of outpouring you share with and to others.

But God knows.   And in the end that is all that matters.

God bless… and do what you can… for others.  And forget about what is …or is not being said about you.

It really doesn’t matter.  It truly doesn’t.  And now that I have said all of that… I don’t know why it bothered me so much …not being called ‘the nice one.’   Or was it ‘the kind one?’

I really can’t even remember now.  But boy did it eat at me.   But now God has spoken into my spirit …and after writing this …releasing all those feelings of self-evaluation and trying to figure out why I was not being called ‘the nice one’ …or was it  ‘the…-‘

Oh, never mind.

I am just going to work to be better …and increase my caring and giving.  And give from my heart and not expect anything back, including somebody calling me ‘the nice one’  …or is it  ‘the…-‘

It is truly not important.  And I thank you for listening while I sorted this all out.  Because it really really isn’t about me.

Who knew that Wanda Sykes was this short?

And I do mean shorrrrrrt.

When she is not going on and on with all that foul language she can be pretty funny.   But she and Sade were quite adorable in that little skit don’t you think?

Now, on to this.

I fell to sleep messing around with my son’s laptop computer last night and woke up listening to Pastor Sheryl Brady preaching on the Word Network, a religious television channel.  I guess it was her excitement that woke me up.  She was bubbling over with glee about having  moved to Texas, and becoming part of  Bishop T.D. Jakes’ ministry as pastors under him, she and her husband, of a North campus addition of the Potter’s House.

As I listened to her it struck me as being odd.  Because I could not understand.  Was she saying that she had left her own church… as in deserting it… and them…those people who had joined her church, the River Church, down there in Durham, North Carolina?

And was she saying that she was now in Texas serving up under Jakes?

Yes, it struck me as odd, indeed.

Because for 1 I just could not… and do not understand what could have precipitated such a drastic decision or move?

http://blogs.bet.com/ontv/thegospelaccordingto/2010/04/following-up-sheryl-brady-eric-mcdaniel/

http://obnoxioustv.wordpress.com/2011/01/08/sheryl-brady-tells-bishop-eric-mcdaniel-to-hit-the-road-jack/

Having heard Paula White on several occasions call T.D. Jakes her spiritual father… who played a great role in bringing her onto the national scene via his used to be annual event called ‘Woman Thou Art Loose.’  No where as near well known or as popular on the higher national church preaching plain… one has to wonder if  the switch to come up under Bishop Jake was due to a desire on the part of  Pastor Sheryl Brady, to emerge on a higher level of  the national urban religious scene… if you care to call them that.  Or more simply state… preachers that appeal to the vast numbers of African American worshippers.

While in this exchange Bishop Jakes also adds to his cross-over appeal by appointing Brady and her husband, who are white,  as the head of  one of  his churches.  With Allen, TX as the place where they are now currently ministering… having a population of about 83,000, whose income is for the most part  upward to $188,000/per year and beyond.  Which might answer why he offered the Brady’s that location as opposed to opening up a Potter’s House extension in North Carolina, where they came from…or somewhere in ‘the hood,’ meaning where more black folks are.

Speaking of which… ‘Woman Thou Art Loose’ that is.   I was privy to being at the last one to be held in Houston, TX, 2003.  It was the one where Juanita Bynum came and got down on her knees apologizing to both Bishop Jakes and his wife regarding her falling out with them… which had ended up with her going into court against him claiming that ‘Woman Thou Art Loose’ was her brain child, and I guess some other things as well.

I do not know how the law thing worked out.  As at the time I was not saved or following such things, and I knew nothing about either of them really.  Nor was I following anything religious at that time… far from it.  Thank God…I can say differently today.

But I enjoyed that conference very much that September of 2003 in Houston.  I was quite impressed by the entire operation… and boy was it well organized.  I sat though it taking all kinds of mental notes… from the camera layouts…to how the  camera  jibs swinging high in the air above the crowd grabbed all the great shots.   It was crowded in that arena… packed in fact…and it was not a small place with its retracting roof.

It was loaded with women…upstairs…down stairs…all aound…from corner to corner… and all on the main floor… all hotels had been solidly booked  and sold out.  Women  had travelled from all over the world to be there…Africa… Germany… France… LA… Boston… and Brooklyn… etc…etc…  And many of  them were annual re-turners… women who organized their schedules year in and out just to be in the midst of ‘Woman Thou Art Loose.’

And it was worth doing so.

I was amazed… even down to the short-circuit tv cameras beaming the services out to women in prison…  and giving us an occasional view of  them cuddled around tv screens watching us and listening to the mighty women who  walked  and talked upon that stage.

It really was something.  And if  they had not moved the event to Atlanta and mixing it with the men …and children …I would have certainly considered returning again and again to Houston myself.

But what I really recall is how I listened and watched Juanita Bynum preach about how big-headed she had become… and how she blamed it all upon listening to others.  While I watched it I knew I had become a part of something special.

How many people go back and get before a packed out arena to cry and declare ‘I was wrong and out of order.’ 

When she got through there was not a dry eye in the house.  And I was crying right along with all the rest of them.  T.D. Jakes was crying… his wife was crying… Paula White was crying… her husband was crying…  Everybody in the place… and all on that platform was crying.  And yet I wondered if  what I was watching was real?

And no sooner had T.D. Jakes poured that oil and anointed her, Juanita got up and quickly proclaimed to every woman who had a checkbook to write a check for $100.

So, I wondered how could she go from crying and begging forgiveness to so quickly switching gears and start demeaning money?

And did those women do exactly what she told them to do.  They got on the elevators… ran down several flights of staircases and swarmed the arena floor rushing  the stage with their checks in hand.

And what a mad rush it was.  With checks waving all in the air.  Checkbooks open… running…weeping women… charging forward… women running towards that stage and trying to fill out their checks all at the same time, while trying to not get knocked down by the droves of  other women doing exactly the same thing.

So, I have no doubt that the fame …and glory of it had a lot to do with it.  With the Brady’s quick departure from North Carolina to the green lawns and fresh humid Texas air in Allen.

Now, that I think about it… it might have been a $1000 that Juanita told them to bring and lay it upon the altar.  I can still hear her saying-

“Come now!  I don’t care where you are come now!”

And they came.  While I on the other hand was going in the opposite direction.

Well, I better get off this computer.  I’ve got a studio shoot tomorrow… and I do not know about you…   But for some reason there just never seems to be enough time in my schedule any more.  Time is truly flying by us.  We go from one week into another without any real lapse of time it seems.  2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverBefore I know it…it is Friday again… then Monday and the week is done.  Just like that.

I may well be at the Book Festival with my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE,  this year as I just got my invitation from them.  And also from the LA Book Festival… it seems that I just might get around to doing some book touring this year after all.

It is not like I haven’t been planning for it.  But it is like I View Bernadine Smith's profile on FiledBysaid time is flying.  And all my other obligations are definitely keeping me busy.  Maybe by this weekend at least an ‘in construction page’ may be 4_printer_Promo_Cars_b_smith2up on my website page.  And hopefully the links will work.

I am working on it.  Because I have noticed that some of you have started looking for it.  So, let me assure you that it is sooooon coming, praise the Lord.

Well, God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family to em , co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2010

THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK the photo to my book for the LINK to purchase my book.    Thank you. 

Add a comment June 17, 2010

First Michael… now Gary Coleman… Blanche… and the oil mess… Boycott BP

If seems that fame brings about a lot of  problems that many of us would really rather not have.  But so many only see the glitz and the gleam of the big bright lights…and nothing else.

They clamor to be in the videos, on the cover of the magazines, on the big screen, sitting on the Oprah show… or on somebody’s reality show.  They want it… want it… or 15 minutes of  it… if  that is all they can get.

Some people have committed various acts… including murder… shooting up high schools …bombing buildings …etc…  all in order to get their name in print and/or picture on TV.

Many have sought it… and many who found it have also turned and tried to run from it.  Because all that glitters is  really not gold.

If  many knew what that life was really like I doubt that they would pursue it.  It is a life filled with lots of ups and downs.  And plenty of  its own uncertainties… and always lots of money and work woes.

There are some things in the video clip above that you should play close…very close attention to.  First of all, is the lack of any real care or concern by the woman who claims to be Gary Coleman’s wife.

Second of all, when she finally does start talking to him…listen to how she speaks rather…barks at him like she is talking to a little misbehaving child instead of a bleeding and near dying husband.

Third of all, how she announced to the operator that her name is Shannon Price…and not Shannon Coleman.

And Fourth of all, how much more concerned about herself and what she can’t stand and what is going on with her… which seems to be of  far more importance to her than a bleeding Gary Coleman.

Is it possible that Gary Coleman may have fallen prey to a person he should have chased back and away from him…instead of marrying her?

After several episodes of  run-ins with fans who seem to have gotten too close to him,  where Coleman had been noted as being mean and evil towards them.  And often it ended up with him punching 1 or 2 of them in the face.

Then how did he hook up with this woman?

Is it possible that she allowed Coleman to lay there bleeding until he was near death…and then decided to call 911 for emergency assistance for him?

Is it possible that she may have hit him or… somehow or other brought  about brain hemorrhage  that brought about his death?

Is it possible that she ever loved Gary Coleman at all?

Not if  you go by what you hear during that 911 call.

Gary Coleman’s burial has been postponed… though the article said ‘cancelled’ …hmmmm…

What does that mean?

At any rate Gary’s parents have sent their people to step into the picture between that woman and Gary…on their son’s behalf.   I really feel for them.

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/06/exclusive-todd-bridges-ex-manager-begged-gary-colemans-ex-wife-not-pull-plug

I had always thought it sad when Gary went into court with his parents, who are really foster parents to him.  But I guess the only parents he ever knew.  And after it happened, I had always hoped that time would have healed that wound between them. 

It does happen sometimes in families.  In fact in many families it does happen.  Most families experience some type of  falling out one time or other.  But then there are those families that go to grave not ever speaking again after whatever happened came between them.

Those family members who mature and/or come to know that ‘there is nothing like family,’  they learn to but aside differences in order to not to continue to tear the family apart.  Many times it is hard but you have to do it ‘for the sake of the family.’   Otherwise, there will be tons of  regrets on both sides years later… and usually well after it is too late.

I had to learn through the grace of  God to put aside some things dealing with family issues in our family.  The things that set us at each other, and all the name calling… finger pointing …can’t override the value of keeping the family together.  You have to work at keeping the family together… because no amount of things or ill  will or words can compensate for it…family.

Family is important.

Unfortunately, Gary Coleman may have elected to turn his back on the 2 people who may have well loved him the most… to run into the arms of people who filled him up with a bunch of  ill advice and evil counsel.

On the other hand Dana Plato’s, the young girl on Diff’rent Stroks, foster mother struck me as being much like Patty Duke’s family and aunt, who saw her as being a gold mine.  The same could be said about the father of  the star of  the movie  ‘Home Alone,’  McCaulay Culkin.

It is sad imagining any child who has to endure a life among people who really do not love them… or who value more what the child can earn for ‘them.’  At some point I guess this is exactly what Gary began to feel… though I must say I never believed it about the people who called him ‘their son.’

Personally, I think there should be an autopsy done on Gary Coleman.  Something just does not sound or smell right.  It is kind of  like how I still feel about Michael Jackson’s death.

I think it was murder.

And it would seem that he… Gary did still have  some money.  Look at what he was driving.

Michael Jackson was a young teen boy when people got in between him and his family too.  Over time and perhaps even out of  some degree of  necessity on both parts… their’s and his… they slowly came back together.  Because at the end of the day…family is all you have when you get right down to it.  All you have got to depend upon.

Perhaps, near the end of  Gary’s life he realized that too.

Going through pictures of  Gary Coleman, I can see that there were times when he wasn’t doing so well healthwise.  I produced a documentary on dialysis a while ago.  Before it I had never heard the word dialysis before or even knew that there people who could not urinate on their own due to problems with their kidneys.

But I had an aunt who started needing dialysis treatments due to her diabetes.  Through her I came to find out about the illness and how it ate away at  those who had to depend upon it.

In this picture you see a darker Gary Coleman.

Well,  that is one of the side effects of  dialysis.  Another is the obvious swelling of  his face… and the ashy-ness of  his skin tone.  Do you notice how his eyes appear to almost  be shut?

He does look sick doesn’t he?

With so many health issues due to his kidneys since being a young child and straight through his life… which also stunted his growth greatly… and other problems… it is not hard to see why Gary Coleman was as he was.  Though such adversity in the lives  of others has caused them to not only raise above their circumstances…but to truly go for the stars in ways that Gary did not.  They turn their circumstances around by working to benefit the lives of  others.  But it seems that  Gary could not rally that kind of strength.

He seemed to be alone in the world… and the 1 person left for him to depend upon wouldn’t even help him in his final hour of  need.   What a tragedy…for him …and maybe even for us.  As none us tried to help him either.

http://www.popeater.com/2010/06/04/gary-coleman-funeral-canceled/

If you would like to read the 911 call put in by Shannon Price, you can CLICK on the LINK  BELOW.

http://www.popeater.com/2010/06/04/gary-coleman-funeral-canceled/

I will never forget watching her taking some award where she graciously stepped to the mic  to said a few words to the teacher who told her that she would never make it as an actress.  It is amazing the things we remember.

Of course like millions I too sat watching nights of  Golden Girls.  Who didn’t love ‘ma’  Estelle Getty…or  Dorothy her larger than life daughter.  And that ditizy Betty White… and that over-aged sex kitten Blanche.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/04/arts/04mcclanahan.html?src=me

I had a lover… someone I lived with for over 9 years who loved to watch television.  She stayed in front of  it.  And Golden Girls was one of  the shows in the evening she would tune in to.

So, of course, over time I became quite familiar with them all.  The sassy Blanche, the dim-wit Rose and   Ma… and Dorothy.

One by 1 they are slowly departing this place.  First Estelle Getty, then  Bea Arthur,  and Rue McClanahan and leaving Betty White.  All of them better known by their character names… Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia…the Golden Girls.

And then there was 1…

Early this week Rue passed too…leaving Betty White as the lone survivor of  their lively cast.

2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverBetty is lively as ever…spunky… and I guess you can even say sassy at times too.  She is hard at work on another series… and really hasn’t stopped workView Bernadine Smith's profile on FiledBying since her Golden Girls days.

Today there are reality shows… and shows about people trying to win a million dollars.  It all became so boring to me that I stopped watching TV a while ago.  And truthfully… I have not missed it.  Besides, as an 4_printer_Promo_Cars_b_smith2adult person my schedule is way too busy for me to be sitting down and watching television.

Didn’t intend to write so much.  Now, I have a movie that I want to watch.

So, you have a good night… and a beautiful day tomorrow.

Update Saturday, June 5th:  I awoke this morning having left my son’s laptop up on some news items on the oil spill in the Gulf.  Listening to it… 1 news broadcast on the oil spill after another… the impact of  the breath of  this oil spill has finally really hit home to me.

The British people in the upper level of  BP really were such big liars.  They lied about everything… saying that they had it contained…that it was not going to hit the shores…and that it would not impact the local environment.   In the beginning that BP top guy was passing the buck of  responsibility on to someone else… some other company… and that it was not their oil rig at fault.  Their oil rig that had failed to have all the safety measures that by law they should have had in place. Yet other lies by BP.

Now, the oil slick has hit Florida and is on its way out into the Atlantic Ocean if  the clean up  doesn’t speed up and can’t contain it any better than BP already has.   It all makes me think about the Republican Convention during McCains’ run for the Presidency against Obama.  Where they walked around with ton of signs and cries of-

“Drill, baby…drill,” could be heard all over that convention floor.  The Republicans were excited about going out and digging more oil rigs… even stating that they would go into protected environmental areas to do so.

This is the video new items that awoke to.  And believe it became crystal clear to me that what is going on in the Gulf of Mexico right now is surely going to impact us all.

http://video.pbs.org/video/1499276788

It seems to me that we should all be boycotting BP gas stations.  And it is upsetting to me that this company is not even an American company.

How is it that a British oil company owns oil rigs in our own home waters… while we are seeking oil from foreign shores of countries such as those in the Middle East?

If we have oil right here in America then we should be producing it and controlling it for our own use.  And particularly since these oil rigs are so dangerous and can impact us in such a way as this gushing BP oil rig in the middle of  the Gulf of  Mexico.

Yes, I am advocating that we all boycott BP…it is time that they started feeling it in their pocketbook.  Perhaps then BP might realize that they can’t come into America and treat Americans any kind of way…or endanger us without a hefty price.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37463005/ns/disaster_in_the_gulf

God bless.

THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2010

Add a comment June 5, 2010

Alicia Keyes baby-mama drama …and everything that glitters…

Somehow I thought Alicia Keyes was smarter… maybe even a bit wiser.

When I was growing up I never thought to look outside of my home for my role models.  But the kids today like to pattern themselves after everything and everybody they see.

Their whole attire is based upon watching people in music videos.  That whole thing that they do with fingers…like we used to throw up the peace sign.  It’s from watching the guys on the videos.  Grinding and grabbing at their stuff…its from…

Well, you get the point.

I have read a couple stories on this romantic little couple…Keyes and her hubby to be.

But how does that happen?

He’s in divorce court…not even un-married yet  dropping sperm all over the place while hanging a ring around her neck.  Well, I mean on her finger.

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/05/28/2010-05-28_swizz_beatz_and_alicia_keys_engaged_and_expecting_their_first_baby_together.html

He is on the verge of having 3 sets of  kids…children from 3 separate women… 4 in total whenever Alicia gives birth to hers.

Here is a guy where all you have to do is look at his track record and that should give you reason to ease back from him.  What kind of  man is he that has 2 children with the woman who has him in divorce court, and before settling that matter he impregnates another woman and says-

“Lets get married.”

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/01/29/2010-01-29_alicia_keys_engaged_to_rapper_record_producer_swizz_beatz_report.html

And I thought I was disappointed in Vivica Fox when she hooked up with 50¢.  I thought she was too classy for him…just what I thought about Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown at first.  Though I still think that Whitney had more going for her than Bobby Brown, and over a period of time I began to see where neither Whitney or Vivica were quite what I had thought.

Which goes to my point that you should never idolize people who you do not personally know.  If  you don’t really know them then you do not a true perspective as to who they really are.  And that old saying really is quite true-

“All that glitters is not gold.”

Meaning though they may shine…be famous…popular…or whatever  but what you see and believe to be good may…   Well, it may be something totally different from you think you see.  And I am starting to think that about Alicia Keyes.

The guy doesn’t even look like anything to me.  But from the articles Alicia is totally smitten by him.  And she has to be to want to…or to have allowed herself to fall into the predicament she is in.  Pregnant with child by a guy who already has 3 children by 2 different women…and is currently still married.

I hate to say it…but it sounds so ‘ghetto.’  And I say that knowing that many people who live in the ‘ghetto’ do not all act ‘ghetto.’   That is to say that they come out of what is called a ‘ghetto,’ but they do not act or behave in a manner that reflects the negatives of that environment…or the stigma we have come to associate with certain elements within ‘ghettos’ or poorer neighborhoods…such as the character played so realistically by Mo’que in the movie ‘Precious.’

Within ‘the hood’ baby-mama/baby-daddy drama is something well documented…whether you witnessed it on the street or happen to hear someone conversing over a cell phone.  You know it when you hear it.  It  is in the tone of the conversation…the shouting…the emotions…and usually the cussing and swearing.

Amazingly, just like Alicia and this guy, Swizz Beatz.  The name alone gives you a clue that there is nothing there.  But going back to my initial statement…a few months into a fresh new romance everyone looks as in love as Alicia and this guy in this picture.  But then comes the drama.

And I have no doubt that it is going to come…if  history has anything to say about it.

And we all know that history as a way of  repeating itself…and clearly the guy’s history speaks for itself.

The mere fact that he had no respect for Alicia by at least waiting until he finalized his divorce to impregnate her and to set a ring upon her finger…speaks loud and clear.  And it ain’t saying ‘love.’

Oh, you may say-

“Oh, he is just trying to do the right thing.”

The right thing?

The right thing was to respect the mother of  his 2 children whom he is currently attempting to divorce before dropping a ring on somebody else…and making the other woman pregnant.  And Keyes is definitely the other woman in this scenario.

If one went back in time it is possible that the woman who this currently his wife…may have at the time found herself on the other side of the table.  And had been the other woman in that scenario between him and the mother of  his first child.

It is a know fact that if you meet up with someone this kind of way…where you take them from some else…  Well, sooner or later you will find yourself in the same predicament.  While the person moves on to the next one.

This guy strikes me as someone who likes to fraternized with women who have made  it or are their way to making it.  Hint…hint…  All gold digger are not female.

The ex-wife to be is a singer too…somebody named Mashonda.  Since I do not listen to R&B any more…or rapp…or anything much outside of gospel music…I have never heard of  her…or him.  But in watching a music video or 2 of  his… he definitely has to hook up with someone.  Because his talent, if you want to call it that…is not nothing.  You might consider him to be another…uhm… Bobby Brown.

So, he was in dire need to go to the next level.  And I guess you can say he did just that when he somehow managed to rope Alicia into his web of  romance.

At first glance Alicia struck me as clean cut…intelligent…gifted…and a young woman of  high standards and morals.  But she seems to have believed the hype and sunk into the life of  supposed stardom… rapp culture…  and whatever else.  She seems to have lost some of  that style… innocence…  and intuitiveness I thought she had.

So, how come she didn’t see this guy coming?

How could she have fallen so deeply under his spell?

Her style changed… her talk changed …she changed.  She started showing more…and leaving less to your imagination.

Maybe it was a desire to become more like…say a Beyoncé.  And for a while I had thought that it was going to Alicia and whatever Beyoncé’s husband is named.

Then I had thought it was going to be Alicia and Common.  But Serena Williams tied that up.

But personally she looks smart enough to be a lawyer’s wife… or some doctor’s wife.  But somebody with a brain seemed to be what I would have thought Alicia would have wanted.  Somebody like a Barack and not a Swizz Beatz.

But maybe like Vivica…Alicia wanted a thug.  Just somebody able to throw her down and sex her all night long.  But I would have thought that she would’ve wanted far more than that.

Maybe someone she could converse with.  Somebody who could do more than flash and throw his hands up in the air… or spin a couple of  turntables.  Somebody who knew something about responsibility.  Somebody who could really love and respect her.  Somebody who felt so deeply about her that he would not dare pull her into a mess.

But then what about Alicia?

What happened to her common sense?

Why would she want somebody who would pull her down?

Didn’t she see what happened between Janet and her ex-husband?

How about how far Whitney fell messing around with Bobby?

Is she  oblivious to what has been going on around her concerning messing with married men…and baby-daddies?

Doesn’t she realize that depending upon what state they live in that his children could pull a piece of  her earnings too?

Yes, that is right.  Once his way of life increases under the influence of  Alicia’s money… she could be forced by the court to aid him in supporting his other children due to her income.

So, then what would possess Alicia Keyes to want to tie herself down to a man who already has 2 set of children?

I know that it is hard to find men today who do not have any children… but there are some.  Some fine decent men waiting on a fine decent woman.   Who work and are more than capable of support his queen to be.

What happened to choosing one of them?

I see Alicia carries expensive bags…  which cost thousands of  dollar, like Chanel, Veneta, Louis Vuitton etc…etc… then why go bottom shelf  when it comes to choosing a mate?

And she wouldn’t take a bag that somebody else owned.  So, why do that when it comes to a man?

Why would Alicia Keyes want to let herself  in for all the baby-mama drama that is sure to come out of  her relationship with this guy, Swizz Beatz?

I don’t really know Alicia’s background but I have heard an interview or 2 where she has talked about her schooling and music classes.  And it never struck me that she came from the ‘ghetto.’

But one thing is for sure… she is beginning to act like it.

And let me just state this…that ‘ghetto’ is more a state of mind than being.  Because I know people who live in a variety of places including what would be called the ‘ghetto.’   But they do not possess a ‘ghetto’ state of  mind.

No respectable woman would set herself up for failure…except perhaps the woman Ruby Giuliani married after he finally divorced his wife.  What a mess that was… the guy had no respect.

How do you bring your mistress into Gracie Mansion, the Mayor’s mansion in New York City, where your wife and young son live to do your thing with her?

What kind of  woman was she?

I guess Giuliani was just too cheap to get a hotel.  But he did not impregnate her… least ways not that we know.  And just prior to his attempted run for the White House, he married her.

As to whether they are happy or not… I can’t answer that.  But I do not believe any woman can can sleep peacefully at night knowing that have hooked up with someone with a wandering eye.  If  it wandered 1 time…it can and usually wanders 2 or 3 times.  And in Alicia’s case maybe 4… if someone steps up to the plate with more money and appeal.

Because that is clearly the kind of guy this guy strikes me as.  Otherwise, Alicia wouldn’t be pregnant right now.  And he probably worked hard at that… he needed to seal that deal.

And he did.

I do not wish Alicia ill… but I just do not see it working out.  History always repeats itself, and someone’s nature is their nature. But God…only if God steps in and changes them.   And this guy has z history that is speaking loud and very clearly.

But going on to my initial point regarding role models.  Like Serena and Venus… I had thought Alicia as a good and decent role model.  But this thing about being out-of-wedlock, pregnant and messing with a married man has definitely put a dimmer on that.

The problem is …is that because Alicia is in the public eye she does bear a certain level of  responsibility.  I have no doubt that she realizes that there are many young girls and young ladies who follow her closely.  And for them she sets a kind of  standard of excellence and determination.

Her lifestyle and choices like that of  many celebrities gets digested, and incorporated into the being of  those who follow them.  Becoming pregnant by a married man…

Well, it is something most people do not brag about.  It shows a level of  insecurity…  carelessness… and a balant disregard for the other woman on the other side.

This scenario is weighted in history.  Its outcomes can be  read in newspapers time and time again, due to all kinds of crazy acts of  revenge… hatred… threats… kidnappings and murder plots.  It is not a pretty situation …and under it no one can truly find happiness.

Because what started wrong in the first place …can’t help but end up wrong too.

Then that is not to say that errors or lapses in judgment can’t happen.  But never compound a mistake.

Okay, Alicia may be pregnant…but should she really marry the guy?

No.  She made a mistake.  But she does not need to make another mistake… by marrying the wrong person.

Sure she is pregnant with his child.  But if he was worth anything that would not be the case.

Clearly, Swizz Beatz lacks certain morals.  I know that sounds like a foreign word to some.  But morals stand for something.  And anyone without them…

Well, would you really want to trust them with your heart?

Apparently, 2 others did.  And you can see what was the outcome.

Why should the 3rd…Alicia’s relationship with him be any different?

And don’t say-

“Oh, he might really love her.”

Might is the operative word.  He might …and then again he might not.  She might just be another trophy to him.  Might  be just another target for his ego …and something for him to laugh about while chatting with his boys.

As is often in this kind of  case… the man walks out on the other woman eventually…leaving her for the next one.  It is an endless cycle for those who have no moral consciousness going from 1 woman or  young girl to the other.

I pray that women wake up.

In the Biblical story in the Book of  Genesis… Leah eventually did…wake up…but it was not until after she had bore Jacob 5 sons.  She kept hoping child after child that Jacob would love her.

Today, we this scenario still plays itself out over and over again.  In the story of Leah and Jacob …you can assume that Leah did not love herself very much.  The text said that she had a tender eye… whereas  Rachel was beautiful.  And she could clearly see how much Jacob loved her.

It had to be painful.

Hence, any woman…or girl who loves herself  is not going  to just allow someone to use them with the hope of  winning them over.  Or baring a child for them with the hope that this will tie a  person to them.

I had a Jamaican cousin who passed last year.  Since I really didn’t know her I was informed by 1 of her sisters-

“I don’t know what happened to Marva.  She was never ever like that before she met him.”

Before my cousin Marva ‘met him,’  my other cousin shared with me…she was happy and carefree.  She loved life… and was always playing practical jokes.  But then she ‘met him.’  She loss the essence of who she was.

He did not love her… but he kept stringing her along.  Because he knew he had her.  She gave him a child… but yet she could not keep him.  There were other women in his life …but she refused to let go.  Then he married another woman… and my cousin’s life caved in on her.

Suddenly, nothing mattered.  Not even her own child.  Her thoughts were consumed with him.  Her desires were all for him.  Then he shun her… cursed her …and stopped seeing her as regular.

And she began attempting suicide.

She succeeded last year when she finally turned a bottle of  bleach up to her mouth.  This time there was no doctor that could help her.

They could not pump her stomach.  It burnt up her  insides.   And they could do nothing to help her but watch her suffer…for days… my aunt (her mother), her husband (her father) and her other sisters.

But at the funeral they realized that she was now at peace.  But what a sad way to go.  And what a horrible way of  trying to find peace.

What could possess someone to love someone so much…more than than they do themself… or her child… to attempt on several occasions… and then to final succeed in killing themselves?

Could anyone on this planet be worth all that?

No.  Not at all.

His life went on.  But her’s ended…and ended horribly.

It had been compounded by 1 error after another.

There are some people not worth being bothered with.  And particularly if they can somehow manage to cloud up how you feel about you.

I was once so in love.  I do know how it feels.

I loved this person so much.  She had me.  And when it was other… I spun into my own web of  depression… remorse …loss …and pity.  It came across my mind…that thought of  suicide. 

Everywhere I turned I saw couples.  Everywhere I looked I saw people walking hand in hand.  Spring was in the air… and so was love.  And I had no one…I was alone.

The one I cared for had cast me off.  And I was floating …drifting in my mind.  Reality was lapsing from me.  I saw that which I wish I had.  And it was all aroun4_printer_Promo_Cars_b_smith2d me.  Happiness …chatter… the glee of  being with someone you loved.

But there I was alone.

And yes… it came to me.  To kill myself … and to bring it all to an end.

But instead it was overcome by another thought.

I began thinking that maybe ‘the life’ wasn’t for me.

I began thinking that being in ‘the life’…meaning ‘in a gay lifestyle’ was not so2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverme place where I could be happy.  And maybe I needed to try the other way?

I tried it.

But I didn’t like it.

But I emerged from it pregnant.

I thought of  abortion.

So, I called the hotline.  But when they started talking about ‘partial anesthesia’ View Bernadine Smith's profile on FiledByor ‘full anesthesia’… I knew that either way it was going to hurt.

So, I just decided to go through with the pregnancy.  Truly, that was my thought process.  And that is why I now have a son… who I must say is a far better person than his mother.

And my goodness… what would this world be like if my son were not upon it?

I made the right choice.  And it is God’s desire that we have freedom of choice… so we can exercise our right to make ‘the right choice.’

And I am glad that I made another choice.

It took me years to get here.  But I made the choice to walk in liberty …and to come out of darkness.  And I am so happy that I did.

Oh, well…   I have got to end now.  Because I am really supposed to have watched a movie… and now I’ll be up and working on a legal paper.

So, I really must get moving.  Enjoy your day tomorrow.

In closing let me say 1 more thing… Alicia at 29 years of  age should be wiser.  I say all of this because I have no doubt that a lot people will read this blog.  And I would just be wrong if  I did not speak truth…with the hope that someone might hear.  Or that it might help someone…including Alicia.

God bless.

THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2010



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