Archive for April 2011




Who is to blame?

I rarely follow 1 blog right behind the other… but I just finished reading this as I hit the button and said ‘post’ to my last blog.

It is a story about a woman who killed herself and 3 of her children with her.   Perhaps, you heard or read this story.  I now recall hearing someone vaguely mentioned something about it last week while I was in the beauty salon getting my hair done for Easter.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110427/ap_on_re_us/us_river_deaths_blame;_ylt=AvTGBx5blvs4ltAwbzNIdjA7PcB_;_ylu=X3oDMTM3c3E4MGFuBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTEwNDI3L3VzX3JpdmVyX2RlYXRoc19ibGFtZQRjY29kZQNvZmZwemYzMARjcG9zAzYEcG9zAzYEc2VjA3luX3RvcF9zdG9yaWVzBHNsawNmYXRoZXJnZXRzY3I

So, I just finished reading the story to the situation…just CLICK the LINK ABOVE if you want to read it too… if you haven’t done so already.

Much effort in the story…the slant in the story is who is to blame.

Who is to BLAME??????

I am a firm believer that we all have to take responsibility for all our own actions.  It is something I tried to teach my son and to all of my nieces and nephews.  Because at the end of  the day… we have no one to blame but ourselves for the course of our own lives.  And many of the events that happen in it.

In the above story about this young woman who decided to take her own life and the lives of  her children… just 3 of  them by default.  Because she had a 4th child but when she drove into the Hudson River…he being older (her eldest child)…I think the story stated that he was anywhere from 7 to 10 years old.  But he somehow managed to swim a shore.

Supposedly, just prior to the woman driving into the Hudson River… she had just had an argument with her boyfriend.  The man who happened to be the father of  her last 3 children… to which she was not married.

The story states that the father… the man who was the father of the woman last 3 children was 25 years old.  Which leads me to believe that the woman who committed the murder/suicide… was also somewhere in her early 20’s.

The story goes that she supposedly became distraught after the argument… jumped into her car after packing in her children… and headed for a ramp leading into the Hudson River.

Now, who is to blame?

It seems that many in the story blame the supposed father.  They labeled him as a cheater and other things.

Some I have no doubt blame it upon the times.

Some maybe blame it upon the hardship of  just being a mother.

Others might say that she just became ‘overwhelmed.’

Then others might just say that she was just plain crazy.

Any and all of  these might very well be true.

But I see it as a bigger picture which is why I am taking this time now… while I should be up and doing something else… to write on this issue.

And it is an issue.

Recently, 1 of  my brothers started seeking treatment for diabetes.  A couple of weeks ago he was in the hospital due to now  dying kidneys.   Upon him being released from the hospital he called me and asked me to come sit with him.  So I have.

I have also started going with him to all his doctor’s appointments… and that has meant that every week since he came out of the hospital I have been sitting in some doctor’s office listening to them discuss my brother’s condition with him and me.

A couple of  times my brother had me pull up to a liquor store telling me he was going in to cash a check.  But the other day as we were on our way to the doctor I smelled the smell of  alcohol upon him.  So, I asked him about it and he told me that-

“Yeah, I take a couple of  sips every now and then.  Ain’t no big biggy.”

Here he is dizzy and hands shaking…and his kidneys on near collapse, and he is telling  me that taking a drink of alcohol  is ‘no biggy’  …not  a big thing?

Who in the world does my brother think that he is kidding?

Perhaps, he is trying to fool himself.

But I asked the doctors-

“Is there anyway possible that he can be maintained right here at this level without him going on dialysis?”

And somewhat hesitantly the doctor kind of  said yes.  But only if  my brother did what he was supposed to do.

But while at another doctor’s office when the doctor asked him about drug abuse… my brother informed him of something I was not aware of.   He told the doctor he used to snort heroin.  I just thought people shot that up… that is how native I am about drugs and alcohol.

But when the doctor asked my brother why he had done it… my brother told him because he had gotten with the wrong girl.

The doctor then commenced to tell me brother to not blame that on the girl.  And that he… my brother had made the choice for himself  to do it.   That the girl had not forced him to do anything.

And the doctor told my brother that he needed to take the responsibility for the choices that ‘he’  …my brother had made.

Having said that I imagine that you can guess where I am going with this.  But I am lead to speak it anyhow.

In regards to the young woman who drove into the Hudson River killing herself and 3 of  her children… who would you say is to blame?

Who would you blame for her chain of  circumstances?

Who would you say put her in the situation where she found herself?

Did her environment have anything to do with it?

Was it a matter of up-bringing?

Who made the choice to lay down and bare all those children?

Would marriage have made a difference in this story?

Can anyone say that anyone does not know or believe that the act of  engaging in sex was not given to us merely for pleasure… but for procreation?

A vast majority of  women become pregnant usually after indulging once… the very first time.   This was true for me as well.  So, I know this for myself.  But I elected not to continue.

I made my choices too.

Oh, I wasn’t against having children.  I wanted as many as I could have.  Truly, when I was a very young girl I made that decision 1 day.  But I also made another decision… that I wanted to save myself for my husband.  And I did up until the age of  25.

At that point I stepped into another lifestyle that greatly variated and deviated from the thoughts of  me as that young school girl.  But had I not… I still doubt that I would have laid down and allowed people to use me time and time again without any commitment… while yet aiding me into digging myself into a deeper hole.

Because truly 1 could say that the young man in this story…the supposed father… did aid in digging this young lady into a deeper and deeper hole.  And without a doubt he does have his own share of  blame concerning  some of the  problems and difficulty in her young life …and the lifes and end of  lifes concerning his children.

But every choice made by that young woman was her own… including the thought and action of  committing suicide …and the eventual murder of  3 of  her 4 children.

In terms of  Biblical text…1 could look at the story of  Leah.  But the difference here was that Leah was married to Jacob.  And  though Jacob loved Rachel… and was married to both… there had to been something about Leah.  Because she continued to give birth to children for him.  In fact, Leah was the mother of  Judah… and Judah is the line under which both David and Jesus emerge.

But getting off the Biblical angle and just going back to today’s reality… and this story there is only 1 reality when it comes to baring child after child for someone you hope you will be able to hold onto… or who will marry you.  And that is… baring children is not going to do it for you.

Yes, you have created a tie with a person that will be between you and that person for as long you and/or  he and/or the child lives… and in this case children lived.  But that is it.

It does not make them love you.  There is nowhere written that after Leah bared Jacob all those sons…and a daughter… that at any time Jacob came to love Leah.

But just for the sake of  Biblical text… let me note that Leah did get him in the end.  Because Jacob was buried in the tomb with her… while Rachel was buriedView Bernadine Smith's profile on FiledBy along side the road on their way  after having died in child-birth.

It is evident that this young mother neither loved herself  or her children as much as she hated the prospect of  loosing this young man to another woman.

And that is the travesty of  it all.  Because at the end of  the day it does not matter what area you come from… or your level education… or your socio-economic advantages… or the lack thereof…  if you do not love yourself you will continued to make mistake after mistake and doom your own life.  And there will be no one to blame but you… yourself … and the ‘I’ whoever you are.2ab-the-bishop-wifecover

I have no doubt that the young woman in this story became overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed with having made 1 bad choice after another… and another.

Overwhelmed with trying to deal with those bad choices and not having any real support mechanism in place that might have aided her… or even assisted her in some way to start making some good choices in order to turn her life and situation around.

Nobody heard her voice.   Nobody saw her tears… nobody realized that she was way over being overwhelmed.

I am sadden by the lost of  her… and her innocent little children.  And by the knowledge that the little son  which survived will now live with this  for the rest of  his life.

If any of us were perfect then I guess we could all point fingers and laugh… joke about this… I guess to some degree.  But life is no joking matter.  It is precious.  Everybody’s life is precious.  And none of  us is exempt from mistake making.  Even at this age I still make mistakes.  But thank God…He is working on my behalf  that I am not overtaken.

I pray that God steps into every bad situation …and situation where people need help…

Now, maybe I can get up from here and finally do what I really have to do.  I have been up and working on blogs since 6 AM this morning.  And it really hadn’t even been my intent.  The day is slipping pass me… I have got to get moving.

Hope you have a beautiful rest of the day.

I have been searching for something that I really need to find.  So, I have really have to put my all and all into it today.

Well, God bless…

  Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2011

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Add a comment April 27, 2011

To spite their nose….

We have all heard that saying-

“They or she or he is cutting off his ….or her ….or their nose in spite of their face.”

What it simply means is that they…he…or she…because of some problem…dislike …hate or some type of disdain of their face…decide to get rid of or destroy …or remove …have redone that nose  “in spite of their face.”  Or in other words… they end up destroying  …or making a bigger mess to their face.

You know in thinking about this it makes me think of all those plastic surgery mistakes…the things that people decided that they wanted to corrected about their face or some part of their body.  They decide that the plastic surgeon is able to give them ‘that’  look which they have always wanted.  So, they set up an appointment with the plastic surgeon to have the work done. Low and behold when the wrappings come off…they discover that something went wrong.  The surgery did not turn out as they both thought…them and the plastic surgeon who did the work.  What they thought was so bad before is now made worst…and there is no going back to the way it was.

Whatever the plastic surgeon gave them is what they end up with…whether they like it or not.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ac/20110311/tr_ac/8037122_michigans_new_governor_wont_fall_into_the_wisconsin_trap

When we go into the ballot box and elect public officials we do it believing that we are voting in people who are working on our ‘behaves.’  Not people who desire to be voted into public office to fulfill their own personal…or even party agendas.

Today we are faced with a dilemma of the un-abidding politician.  The crafty person who solicited your vote only to turn around and do everything ‘but’ what you voted them in to do.  In fact, they do things which are against you and endangers you, your family…your community, city and state…because of some personal political agenda.

This agenda can easily be called ‘the undoing of America.  Or a very evident attempt to do so on the parts of  the Republican Party.

How in the world did America get to this place?

Can racism be the sole force for what is happening concerning Republican governors and their decisions to change state policies and connection to the larger and greater picture… called the ‘United States’ of America.

A friend posted a notice on my facebook page about the governor of  Michigan’s plan to turn cities in Michigan over to what amounts to ‘corporate takeovers.’    By simply declaring a state of  emergency and  some type of  financial woe  over a Michigan township or city…and then allow the corporations to have power to determine the policies and contracts to those cities and/or towns at will.

The Republicans talk about government becoming too big.  And perhaps it is.

In what country have you ever heard this?

Yes, perhaps government is too big.  So big, in fact,  that any given elected politician can turn on his or her own constituents and feel that they have the freedom to do so…simply because they were ‘voted in.’   Something is wrong with this picture.  And it has nothing to do with our system of  government… but more to do with deceit on the part of  some voted in… and also upon our feelings of  powerlessness once we  have voted them in.

But in this country there is a thing called ‘impeachment.’   The people have power.  Do not allow politicans to continue to wheel and deal as they like without you… the people taking up arms and going out against them.  And when the time for elections come around again Republicans need to hear  loud and clear that Americans all across this country will no longer suffer them, and their under-handed ways of  trying to control and restrain the will of  the people at large.  Or their continued undermining of  this country.

It seems that Republicans have declared that if  they can’t run America they will tear it apart…state by state…section by section…. class by class… line by line and precept by precept.  And in spite of  all of our noses.

It is so amazing that after all that George Bush did…no matter how bad…or how many lies… or the number of  lives lost in a highly senseless war  that not only continues to take lives… which has also substantially driven up our gas prices… and the cost of  everything else.  Not to even mention Bush sending this country to near collapse…throwing America back into a depression with the collapse of the banks, Wall Street, the American dollar …and millions upon millions of  jobs lost due to Bush Economics.  And no governor in this country ever mentioned much less thought about not accepting any government funds in protest… or about going after unions… or  any undermining  of  Bush policy in any way.

So, why now?

When this country was sent wheeling and plummeting due to Bush ‘nomics(lets just call it that)  why did not any of  these so-called ‘so fed-up’ with government spending and management of  this country people …where were they then…who are now espousing that they are listening to the will of the people.  Where were they during all of  the Bush lies?   Of which none of them even refer to in any shape or form or in any way whatsoever… even now.   But yet rather  lay the faults of  such …and all that deceit of their own party upon the shoulders of  President Barack Obama… the man who is now the White House and trying to rectify the messes of  George Bush. View Bernadine Smith's profile on FiledBy

Yeah…right.  Obama is to blame…and while you are at it just blame him for everything.

And with that make no mention of  how Obama has managed to stabilized the whole Bush situation from the wars to our economy…and even jobs.  Yes, jobs are back on the raise.  All of this after 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverthe near total and absolute disastrous collapse of  this country brought about by George Bush…a Republican.  Who shut the doors to the White House and operated in the most  close-door and tight lip operation of  the White House of  any President of this country in history.

This country is under attack and the attack is not coming from without.

Beware of  the Trojan horse…it is called the Republican Party.

Well, God bless…

Oh, yes…before closing.  Let me just say what an out and out racist Donald Trump has proven himself to be with all his ridiculous chatter about  Obama not being American …and that he had people down in Hawaii to prove it.   What an egomaniac imbecile.   Be it all for hype or not (and I think not).   At any rate  we have all seriously gotten an opportunity to see ‘the real’  Donald Chump.  I mean Trump.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704187604576288811924282824.html

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2011

Comments Off on To spite their nose…. April 27, 2011

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