On the taboo subject…

I tried not to look but I couldn’t help myself I had to click to the story…about the supposed man giving birth to a child. 

Now, when I initially wrote on this story a few blogs ago…I knew that there had to be something wrong…because it was just out of sync.

And there was…the supposed man in the story…is really a woman living as a man who…I started to say had a sex change.  But she couldn’t have otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to have the baby or get impregnated.

I am naive on many things…and I truly am.

But there are somethings which clearly just irritate me.

Why go through all of the trouble of trying to present yourself as a man…and then want to get pregnant?

What was she trying to make a mockery of?

Herself or God?

He can’t be made a mockery of.

And then to have this picture of her…well, supposedly him and the baby together.  Well…

Was this just a media thang?

And now they…what?

Did the gay couple exploit the child and their relationship by selling their story to the tabloids, and appearing on as many talk shows as they could book?

Anything for a dime or a dollar.

I once knew someone…and I guess I still do…just that I haven’t seen them in a very long time.

When I first met this person I realized something was out of whack…but I could not put my hands on it.

She lived in the same town as a friend of mines…and I say she because really that is what I met him as…and have only known him as.  Though I do realize to call him…her would be lying…though at the time of course I was not saved…nor trying to be.

Well, she lived in the same Jersey town as my friend…who was new to the area.  And I just thought it would be nice for them to meet and then my friend would have somebody to hang with over in Jersey.

It was my friend who informed of what I just couldn’t put my finger on.

She said to me one night…while we were all out at dinner or something I think…she said after the person had gotten up from the table-

“I know you kept saying that there was something strange…or something about her.  So, I have decided to tell you.  And don’t look over there at her when I tell you this.”

I said, “Okay.  So, what is it?”

And she said…she ain’t a she.

I know I said I wouldn’t look over in her direction…but my head spun around so quickly.  It was an automatic response.  I could not believe it.   I knew I had felt something was out of whack…but I never would have guessed it was that.

My friend immediately admonished me saying-

“I told you don’t look.  Don’t look.”

But I could not help but look.  In fact I was staring.  I had never experienced anything like that before.  It was adverse to me.

I thought that she was a woman and nothing could have prepared me for anything otherwise.

I told you I had been terribly naive…and to some degree still am.

That was at a time when I was heavily involved in gay life…hanging out…partying in clubs with women…and a member of Salsa Soul Sisters, Inc, in New York City.  My life is by no means like that now but there was a time…almost 25 years of my life when that is what I did.  Before that I was not sexually involved at all.

So, I had gone through grade school and college without any type of involvement.  Never dated boys in my life.

I was just different from most people and lived a highly sheltered life under the wings of my parents.

It was in Salsa Soul Sisters that I met this person whom I had introduced to my friend who had just moved to New Jersey from St. Louis.  Salsa was a lesbian organization…and I guess that is why I never would have guessed that this person had been anything other than a woman.

But this is the way it went…she was a guy who wanted to be a woman and then a lesbian.

When the Salsa Soul Sisters found out about this…every founding mother and everybody else stormed into Salsa one night…the record had to be set straight (no pun intended)…and they called an emergency meeting.  Where it was voted on that no biological male could ever become a board member of Salsa.  Because that was really the issue…not only did she want to become a woman and be a lesbian…but she also was nominated to run for a position on the board of directors of Salsa…and that of course was a no-no for any male…real or operated on…which at the time she was not.  And the Salsa Soul Sisters were not having it…not at all.

You would have loved to have heard those women that night…it got pretty heated…and they were not playing.

In the end I felt sorry for him…because he was nice and had proven to be a good worker.  But my Salsa Soul Sisters were right…and I had to agree with them.

Salsa was a black lesbian organization…the oldest in the world.  And through their years some very well known women, writers, artist of every type…and professional women and otherwise…etc… have walked through their doors…including Audrey Lorde, June Jordan and many many many others…all Salsa Soul Sisters.  Some very well known and widely read, and seen in media and all facets of the arts, performing and otherwise, as well as educators etc…all Salsa Soul Sisters.  Exceedingly, talented women.

It was hard for me to grasp why she…he would want to dress up as a woman and engage in sexual activity with women as a lesbian.  She was after all a man…by living his life as man…he would not have had any of the confusion that just knowing the story caused me and many of the other Salsa Soul Sisters.

And as much as they tried…tried to not say…many of those same women dated her…before and after that meeting.

There is much confusion in the world…and I am so glad to not have that type of confusion any longer.

I am so glad that God has reclaimed my life…and set me free from the bondage that once held me.

Perhaps as strange as I thought she was…she was not more strange than I was.   One thing is for certain we were both lost.  I don’t know about her or him today…but I have been set free.   And I walk in liberty.

But there is one thing though…I will leave a pocketbook like most people forget an umbrella…because I am not used to carrying one.   So, most of the time I don’t even bother with them…unless it is something like a bookbag…because I will walk off and leave it.   Smile…and even that too may become a thing of the past.

It is so good to be free.  I cannot thank the Lord enough…for saving me.

Have a good day…    and God bless….

Oh, yeah…another Chinese word.  wu bu 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverdong ….  means I don’t understand… wu is Chinese for ‘I’.

It is pronounced …..woo boo dung.       So, it can be said either way… wu bu dong   or    bu dong  …meaning I don’t understand.

It has been raining most of the day and yesterday…but just as I was about to finish telling this story the ceiling started leaking.  I look at it as a sign that the devil just doesn’t want me to tell this story.  But I will tell it everywhere I go if need be…if it can encourage somebody or help View Bernadine Smith's profile on FiledBysomeone else to find peace and deliverance in their life.  I’m going to tell it.

I am oh so thankful….for the chance to share it with you.

It is funny…but the moment I wrote that last paragraph the ceiling stopped leaking.  It is the power of God…to speak what he puts upon your heart to speak.  I know that this blog is going to touch someone in a special kind of way…and I am so happy to be able to speak life and truth into your life.  Be bless… ©2008

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to comments via RSS Feed

Pages

Categories

Links

Meta

Calendar

December 2017
M T W T F S S
« Oct    
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

Most Recent Posts

 
%d bloggers like this: