Posts filed under: ‘LA‘
Wow, I don’t even know what happened here. I lost my whole post all most.
I will try to rewrite it again but don’t know if it will be as good as the first. But here goes.
I came across this posting on a site called, MOTHER’S PEARLS. And since the day I initially posted my blog on the DeBarge family and their deep family secret which tormented them for years, that post hands down has been my most popular.
That being so I thought that many of you would also like to read what was said by Tommy DeBarge, who for years as growing up had been molested by his older brother, Bobby.
It cannot be a secret how much pain must go through 1 when they are physically violated. But that pain and hurt must be much deeper when it does not come from the man or woman down the street… but is within your own home… among those who are suppose to love and care for you… and protect you.
The DeBarge children had … I guess all of them… had be sexually abused by their father… both the girls and boys.
The damage that is done to children who experience sexual abuse cannot be overstated. I know this first hand having also been a victim of it, though it was not within the confines of my family.
I know some women who once worked at a facility that housed children sexual offenders. Yes, I said, CHILDREN SEXUAL OFFENDERS. I asked 1 day what were the ages of the children in their facility and I was told, “Well, the youngest is 3.”
That has always stayed with. I cannot image what it is like to be locked away from people for the rest of your life because someone began sexually abusing as an infant or toddler and at the age of 3 they have to lock you away.
The world indeed is a very cruel place… very cruel. And has gotten crueler with all of this child sex trafficking and everything else like it that goes on today.
For that kind of torment to be going on in your own home is something which a very beautiful family of children have had to fight to regain and sustain some type of sanity from the horrors they had to endure not only at the hands of their own father… but as their own siblings began to prey upon them.
As a note here, Bobby the oldest of the DeBarge children died many years ago from AIDS. His predator… his father who had sexually abused … I guess all of his children… Their father died only several years ago… and am sure if he had a conscience he died a very tormented man.
This is from Mother’s Pearls: http://www.pearlswindow.com/2013/06/tommy-debarge-shares-molestation-by.html
Men were attracted to men and openly spoke their minds about it, which offended me because of my past with Bobby. I felt as if something queer had been permanently affixed to me because of the horrible things he did to me.
At this point, Bobby was dating women. There was a brief period of time when I actually thought Bobby might be straight. However, as he became more sure of himself as an artist and comfortable in his surroundings, the more he openly expressed his desire for men.
I watched as homosexuality manifested itself in Bobby’s life. He had a stronger attraction towards men than women. He had a male friend, Tony, whom he had met in California, and whom accompanied him everywhere.
After a while, Bobby removed all restraints from his sexual desires. He didn’t care if his private life was private or exposed. He was staying at a Hollywood Hotel; Tony moved in.
Later, Bobby revealed himself to be bisexual, meaning that he participated in sex with both men and women. He stated that a man’s love is what he was searching for because women were only useful for sexual pleasure and couldn’t be trusted. He used neglect and abuse from the past as an excuse for his lifestyle.
Add a comment March 8, 2016
Just in from our Holy Convocation I must say that I feel refreshed and excited about the things of the Lord. Though in looking around and seeing so many old Bishops and Preachers with young wives and girlfriends… it is hard to believe that the Church has taken such a backward turn. For the most part all I can see is that this new branch or bunch of women that these men have taken up with bring to the table is sex appeal. What happened to man in leadership wanting a wife who could add to his ministry…and not just be something on his arm?
Thank goodness our President didn’t think like some of these Preachers here at this convention. Though I guess you could say that Barack Obama was smart enough to get the best of both worlds… beauty plus smarts. But for some of men of the clothe smarts does not seem to be what they are after these days.
I hate to say it… but some of the young ladies which frequent these conventions are so hot to trout and come in dressed like they headed for the party… and are out looking for whatever old man they can entice.
I saw 1 couple that when they approached me I would never have guessed that they were even together …not at all… until the young woman called the much shorter man… very wide in stature man… older and seemed easily tired man and out of breath man– Well, I would never have guess that they were together until she called him ‘baby.’ In hearing that my neck almost snapped as my head quickly jerked back in their direction. I just would not have put those two people together …no way… and no how. But they were. Guess he had money… a big church or something.
It’s funny also because in a way 1 could say that that television show PREACHERS OF LA… is timely in a not so funny way. It certainly does not feature such things. Well, maybe it does…but they haven’t got to that part yet… if they get to it at all. And that is Bishop Noel Jones and how he impregnanted a much younger woman.
That show also sadly portrays a direction in which the Church is moving… more away from God and more towards the world.
When reflecting upon Biblical text… you might even say that it is scriptural. Meaning you can find the same thing being done back then in olden times in the Bible. It happened throughout scripture, in fact, that God’s people continually kept moving away from Him.
When you go back to the book of Nehemiah you find that there are some Priests, as well as, many of the people who have married outside of the Israelite nation. God told them not to either go in to them or to allow them in to them… or their sons or daughters to go into the women or men of the other nations of the land. But all through the scriptures you find that God’s chosen people polluted themselves by disobeying the commandment of God to keep their bloodline pure. They married into other races and religious groups… got into idolatry… and it was to their doom.
In the Preachers of LA the relationship of Deitrick Haddon and the young lady who had his child… can clearly be classified as an unholy union. Haddon had carried on a sexual relationship outside of his marriage… to which throughout the course of the television show Haddon proclaims, as a mere justification for his unholy actions… that he is a man. As if all men have a legal right and obligation to go out and do whatever they want to… with whom or whatever they want to do it with… because they are men.
Show me that in scripture.
As someone who wants to proclaim himself to be a Pastor/Minister… clearly Haddon must know that such talk or understanding clearly goes against all Biblical scripture and cannot be justified by any means… outside of 1 merely proclaiming, ‘I was weak and I pray the Lord forgives me.’ Something which is not anything that Deitrick Haddon has dared to say or announced to have ever said.
In the case of Noel Jones it is highly unlikely that any woman… with any kind of brains under her cap would be with any man for 16 years and he not marry her. Also, no woman in her right mind would be with a man for some 16 years and still be with him… if he had gone outside of their relationship and fathered a baby with some young girl as Noel Jones has done… and there has been no mention of ithat at any time in their conversations on that Preacher show. And no self-respecting woman would continue to play like a fool for 16 long years with any man who seemed to be so uncaring and lacking emotionally towards her, as Noel Jones to that woman, Loretta, in the show Preachers of LA.
Not unless… Well, not unless he is taking care of her REAL good…
I do not watch the show after finally happening to see the original first episode of it. Not much is really said about the show…among church people. But while at the Convocation 1 night for some reason that network that carries the show kept re-running the same show over and over again. So, I finally did see another episode and it over and over again. And I did not change my opinion on the show one iota as being garbage.
While at the Convocation my path and that of Ron Gibson’s did happen to cross… and it was all I could do to contain myself and hold my tongue, and not tell the man what garbage I thought the show was.
Preachers of LA validates everything that people who are against the church already say and feel is wrong with the Church. That show leads people to believe that all Preachers are scheming and trying to get rich off of their congregations… which is not totally true. Though there are some clearly who this is all that are about.
The show also portrays that Pastors are not really actively in the business of Saving or winning souls from the pitfall of sin. But they are getting rich, ascertaining prestige and messing with women. Which could very well be true depending upon where you go to Church… and who your Pastor is.
Now, in the case of Ron Gibson… he shows us his down and out sister who has been 30 years dealing with addiction. Something that he says he brought into his family’s house when he became involved in gang life and drugs as a young man. But to me it was odd how publicly he decided to show up his sister as a drug addict with himself as her crusader, coming in to save the day and help her.
After 30 years??
He does this now?
I only wondered why he had not tried to help her before the cameras started rolling… and why he felt comfortable doing so while the cameras were on him… making himself appear to be doing this great thing. Wouldn’t it have been great that he had been helping her before to kick that habit?
But we never heard that testimony when this is business he’s supposed to be in for everybody and anybody, who needs him to come to them and help them to overcome the demons in their lives.
Another observation I have of Bishop Ron Gibson… is the fact that he claims he is no longer involved in gang activity, yet he sits before the TV camera wearing gang colors and clothing… like a Blood. I don’t know if anybody else has caught that… outside of maybe those in gangs. But I can’t help but wonder about how much ‘out of gang life’ Ron Gibson really is?
Then while I was in the hotel at the Convocation I also caught a commercial a couple of times about some black church… another new reality TV show. Boy, are really zooming in on us. This show is about where they help you straighten out your Church some kind of way. What happened to prayer and simplification?
What is it about Black Churches that everybody is throwing our religious institutions to the dogs?
Well, maybe not everybody… but we ourselves.
It appears that our churches are all messed up. and it appears that we are willing to sell our churches, congregations, worship, songs, music, and sanctuary services etc. off for a dollar.
That which was sacred… is sacred no more. We can barely recognize the Church any more… and in some Churches neither can we recognize what used to be regular Church services. There is nothing regular about it any more in so many of these new Church under many new young men stepping into leadership. Some of these younger Pastors have a new-skool philosophy on how service should be held… and how to bring in more numbers of people. They have removed the podium…the altar and everything else that remotely looks like the inside of a church.
In some of these newer Churches with young Pastors the congregation stands for the entire time like they are at some type of rally. They jumping up and down like they are at a concert… because for them the service has pretty much turned into an event similar to listening to a concert performance, for the whole entire time, rather than a Bible teaching or preaching orderly service. And many Church pulpits have been transformed into performing stages complete with flashing lights, and everything like that found in a club, used to seduce and entice people psychedelically.
Has the Church forgotten how to reverence the Lord and His house… and His Holy Word?
If the Church becomes the new club or dance hall where will the Saved folk go?
A new norm is overtaking the Church and that is to not to resist the devil but to use his methods and tools… supposedly in the name of God. So, along comes these shows such as Preachers of LA and everything else which diminishes what worship really is… what real Church service is about… what going to Church is really so supposed to be about… and more importantly how to reverence God’s sanctuary… and the things of Him.
When I came in I knew I had to write a blog today… but I did not know what I was going to write on. Guess I found a subject…
I had gotten an early morning call and now I’m feeling like it is time for me to go and lay down. So, enjoy the rest of your day. And if I fail to post another blog between now and Thanksgiving… enjoy it anyhow…
A friend did this animation of me and her having lunch today. I though it cute and decided to share it with you. And as you can see… I really am a real person. So much so that someone decided to draw me. : )
Before I jet out of here though let me say that sometimes we should really look deeper into some of these situations happening in many of our Churches today. We see on YouTube where some woman punched the Pastor… all the time I want you to know that some of these people make you so frustrated with wrong doing that in the heat of a moment ‘yes’ somebody might loose it.
The Bible says that the Pastors have scattered His sheep. And I do not think we see this happening more and more and more than today. Sad but true. I wish I could tell you some things right now… but they are coming. And what a tell to tell…
There is so much going on in the Church that it would make your head spin.
And 1 more quick caption before closing… Just can’t believe my home-girl, Chirlane McCray is the First Lady of New York City. It is soooooo amazing… and I am very very very happy for her. Fantastic person… truly… I know that together they are going to do much needed good for New York City.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
2 comments November 21, 2013
I know all you reality freaks probably can’t wait until PREACHERS OF LA. hit your TV screens this fall. I can’t imagine the mess that that show will be.
It might just be a congregation breaker. And if they really let themselves go and show us themselves for real… many of you may not really like what they uncover.
So, just who are these 6 bold preachers who decided that they would take the challenge and allow TV cameras to follow them both in and outside of their churches… and exploit their personal lives?
In watching the trailer to the show you get the picture that it is really going to be about just 3 of the preachers… Bishop Noel Jones… Bishop Clarence McClendon… and Deitrick Haddon. But the other 3 are Bishop Ron Gibson… Pastor Wayne Chaney… and Pastor Jay Haizlip… the lesser known pastors.
I must say that I had not really thought much about it since I watch little to almost no television. So, therefore I wasn’t hit with a ton of commercials hyping this show to death in order to set me on the edge of my seat waiting to see it.
However, it was not until yesterday while looking up some YouTube videos for my blog which I posted yesterday, JESSE JUNIOR… BISHOP PAUL MORTON RETIRING…and ANTHONY WEINER A REAL JERK… that I happened to come across a video about Noel Jones and Lisa Raye being a couple.
Well, maybe I should say it like this… Not the stuff that First Ladies are made of. Well, let me take it a step further… and say it this way. Not the stuff that Church First Ladies are made of.
Haven’t we all?
But I must say that that I thought she made a very good First Lady of that little island that she happened to marry into… Turks and Caicos. And she did hold up very well under the pressure of that crazy king or whatever his title was over that island… whom she married.
Lets face it… Lisa is a very pretty girl. Well, I guess I should say… woman now. But preacher material?
Another thing… can I just say this?
No pastor or preacher should be dating anyone… whom he is not possibly looking at as a candidate for marriage. And no so-called man… especially a so-called Bishop or any pastor or any other supposed man of God, who is single… should be out impregnating women and not marrying them.
My Bible says a Bishop should be blameless. So, exactly where does that put Bishop Noel Jones?
Now, having said all of that let me get to what I was saying about the Bishop. For years Noel Jones portrayed himself as being this celibate preacher, following the divorce between him and his wife many many many many many years ago. You get that picture?
Born January 31, 1950, Noel Jones, a Jamaican, is the twin brother of R&B/Rocker singer Grace Jones of the 70’s. I can hear her sing ‘Pull Up To The Bumper, Baby’ now… think it might have been her biggest hit.
Anyhow, Bishop Noel Jones is the Pastor of a large mega-church, City of Refuge Church… and highly sought after as a preacher besides deciding to be featured as 1 of the 6 pastors to parade his life and affairs before TV audiences, on the up-coming reality TV show PREACHERS OF LA.
The last time I watched a television broadcast of Bishop Jones he was preaching on a subject that involved him relaying to his congregation his struggles to maintain himself sexually… and I think… winning. Being a very dynamic speaker and a man well versed with words, with a large vocabulary… his take on winning that battle and overcoming that demon even had me glued into that message.
But then I found out that Bishop Jones, if you did not read… or had not heard yet… had been less than forthcoming about his victory over his sexual urges. In researching information for this blog… which is something that I sometimes do… not often… but at times. When I want to lets say hit upon a topic that I am going to write about, but I am not sure about what little info I have. So, I do a little digging just to make sure of what I have heard or saw or read… and to see what else I can find to make my blog a bit more interesting. And I also like bringing some facts into my blogs… beside just my opinions which I am always full of.
So, while digging… I found out that the Bishop had impregnated a young woman, named Stacy Francis about a couple of years ago. Hmmmm….
Now, I’m smh… (smh means shaking my head for those of you who don’t know). Never would I have thought that because… Well… Well, because I thought the man honestly was gay. Which kind of goes back to what my friend, Sue… always says about me. She says… I think that everybody is gay. Though I say that is not true. Not EVERYBODY… just some people.
If you read my blog on Raven Symone supposedly being gay… then you would know that my friend, Sue’s, statement is far from being true. Because I certainly definitely don’t truly believe that Raven Symone is gay… no matter what she says. I think she is just going through a phase. It might even be just a Hollywood thang… because it seems to me that everybody almost in Hollywood these days has either a girlfriend or a boyfriend. As being gay in Hollywood seems to make for great news.
But lets get back to Noel Jones. After years of watching him during his morning church broadcasts… I think on BET… I had long thought that he was gay for all the obvious reasons. But 1 reason in particular… he just plain looks like it. Well, to me.
I know somebody just passed out… while somebody else just got mad because I’m talking about their pastor. Yes, I probably lost about half of my readers right there in having said that. But it is true. He just looks like a gay male to me… and if anybody has seen a lot of them I have. Because as you know I was once in ‘the life’ myself. And you kind of get to know them when you see them.
Thank God for redemption… truly.
And since I am talking about it right now… let me just add. For anybody who has come out of it… and I am talking about being gay…or homosexual… or lesbian… or whatever… they no longer look like it. The things… the look… the characteristics… how they talk… mannerisms… nuances etc… dress… style etc… all also change. This is really how you know that they truly are ‘new creatures’ in the Lord.
Not to say that the Bishop is gay… but he always struck me as being so.
Also, having been in ‘the life‘ I know the games and tricks people play… usually men… to try and hide their true sexuality. They court women that they have no physical interest in… some even get married… have children etc… all as a way of hiding who they really are.
So, Bishop Noel Jones messing with Lisa Raye… or having a child out of wedlock… it all just might be a sham. And probably will make for good TV for those of you who love drama… especially baby-mama/baby-daddy drama.
Forget me saying that Lisa was not Church First Lady material. But just how much of Bishop material is Noel Jones to having at least 1 child out of wedlock. And is carrying on sexually or otherwise with young women who could be this 60 year old man’s daughters?
My thoughts, however, are still out on the broadcast of the Preachers of LA. But I have 1 question…
Are we selling out the Church… to shine on TV and make an extra buck… and gain earthly fame?
And somebody tell me please… When did Deitrick Haddon move to L.A.?
When you look at the clothes that this pastor let his wife wear out of the house… you really have to wonder about the fate of the Church… and where it is headed?
Excuse me… but I just can’t get over the dress that that man… that PASTOR’S WIFE is wearing… exposing her breast like that. Did I say that I thought Lisa Raye might not be Church First Lady material?????
My, Lord… smh… again…
This thing is scary…
And can I add this?
When it has all been said and done I wouldn’t be surprise if half of them leave the show… and go up under IRS investigations for misusage of Church funds.
Whatever happened to ‘having all things in common?’
Or feeding the motherless and the fatherless… instead of driving around in exotic cars and living lavishly grand life’s while their congregations languish?
Well, God bless… well, it is Friday. I hope you have a blessed and enjoyable weekend. I am going to go and work around the yard tomorrow I think.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
26 comments August 16, 2013
Now, all of this from an ex-lesbian myself… and a person who has a friend who is FOREVER telling me how I think everybody is gay. Well, this story proves that to be wrong. Because I just cannot believe that Raven Symone is actually gay.
Maybe she is just going through a phase. All kids go through them… even me. And perhaps even you did too.
“A phase’… a time in our life when we tried different things then moved on.
Raven might well argue this point. But time will tell.
Supposedly involved in love relationship… or sexual relationship… Raven is said to be entangled with this woman… some ‘the next top model’ woman.
Now 27 Raven clearly at this point is supposed to be a grown woman. Least ways that is the supposed experts say. But I ask you-
At 27 were you really all that grown?
I wasn’t. And that is for sure.
It was not until I was 25 that I actually branched out and started to become sexually involved. I know… I know. I was late. But up until that point I was pretty much in Church with my parents. Well… not quite. I had stopped going to church though… but had to move out first before I could. But I had not yet hit the clubs or anything like it until a few months after I turned 25… a couple of years out of college.
This is when I started frequenting clubs… if you care to call it that. Because I really didn’t frequent clubs… and I was never a bar person because I simply did not drink… and wasn’t going to try. And I totally hated bars… and the kind of people who sat in them drinking most of their nights away.
In fact, when I did start going out it was to disco clubs… and yes they were gay… in New York… and Manhattan to be exact. And I only liked clubs with all women… primarily black women. So, that limited the places where I went. These were places like ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’… ‘Shahara,’ which was kind of mixed but up-scale… etc. I liked up-scale… but mostly went to ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’ because they had more black women. In fact, they were all mostly black… mostly Afro-centric.
But as I have stated in my previous blog,s in which I have wrote on this subject on being gay… or lesbian… and/or lesbianism. Since I was in media… a professional radio announcer… I was undercover, as most people were in my time. And during my time… when I was young being ‘out’ really wasn’t the ‘in-thing’ to do.
To tell you the truth ‘outing’ yourself… or coming out of the closet… really is a evolving thing. Though many people are now coming ‘out’ the masses, I would say have not. There are many who feel it would hurt their image… their businesses… their law practices… their family relationships… etc…etc..
So, as they call it today… I had to be on the down-low. Which I guess Raven is claiming to have been.. until now. Since she recently twitted that she is gay and can now get married… though she says she has not immediate plans to do so.
I never really hung out in town… rarely, and never became involved with anyone in my hometown. Which really was not by plan or design… it just ended up being that way. Because when I could not get to New York… I partied in a nearby town that had tons of black women who were very attractive… upwardly mobile and were ‘in the life.’ I did that until something happened with the Warehouse… it closed down. And then I discovered the wonders of New York City… and I do wonders.
I was 25 and the world was my playground. At those early ages of your young adulthood… you really are just trying to find yourself.
But going back to Raven. Having been removed from that life by some years now… and with no desire or intentions to ever go back into it… I always become sadden when I hear … read or see young girls who have gravitated towards a gay lifestyle. You see them everywhere today… and it is not hard to tell them either. And some of them appear to be quite young.
I know many who will not agree with me on this… and some will even get mad. But that is okay… get mad. And I really do not care who does or does not agree with me.
You cannot expect to be happy when you are living outside of the will of God.
There were, of course, numerous times I felt that I was quite happy while I was doing my thing ‘in the life’… that is what we called it then… besides saying ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I’m a lesbian.’ You would just say ‘I’m in the life.’
But way down deep I was not happy. I do realize that now… but didn’t then. And I am not saying that people cannot or are not lonely… unhappy… or do not shed tears in heterosexual life, or any other lifestyle. But therein lies the problem.
When you live in a world that you define yourself by your sexual preference… then this means you are living to satisfy your sexual being. In Church they call it being ‘carnal.’
I can clearly say that while I was in that life… sex had a hold of me. And when I was loosed from the bondage of being gay… a lesbian… and released from desiring sex during great periods of my waking time… I cannot tell you how happy I have come to be free of it all.
I now know real happiness… and have a freedom that I just cannot explain. When I didn’t have a lover while I was in that life… man… It was all I craved. That is because I was caught up in the sex. Sex had a hold of me. It controlled me. Not in the way that I just did anything… or went to bed with just anybody.
Today, I do not live defining myself sexually. There is no need.
Why would I want to?
My life is not defined sexually. I am greater than being just a sexual being. Sex no longer has its control over me. I am free. And I walk in liberty.
A very beautiful young lady, Raven is very much grown up… and definitely seems to have her head on in the right place, and clearly very much unlike most Hollywood types. It is my hope that if Raven Symone really is gay… and I say ‘if’ because a lot of women… and young girls try it. For some it is nu-vogue… the thing to do. To walk around telling people that they have a ‘girl-friend.’ It is kind of a hip thing for them.
But if Raven is… I hope that it is merely just a stage in her life. A stage that she will soon get over… and move on from it without too much pain. And that she is fortunate enough to be discovered by a wonderful man… who will love her… become her husband, and the father to her children.
Well, I have said it. Now, I guess I am going to hear from a lot of people who may disagree. But that is okay… I love hearing from you all… whether we are in agreeance of not.
Well, God bless… I’m waiting on my son now who is suppose to be coming to pick me up. So, let me just say quickly… I hope you have a beautiful rest of the week.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment August 7, 2013
I was standing in the line at the check-out cash register when I happened to spot the magazine that read, “150 Million Dollar Divorce.” And with that notation on the cover of that magazine was a picture of Densel and his wife, Paulette, of some near 30 years.
Needless, to say I was a bit shocked, because as far as I knew they adored one another. And lets face it, based upon all that Densel has said about his family and wife… there is no way that anyone would believe that THAT marriage was not rock solid.
Well, is it or isn’t it?
Perhaps I should not say this but once while taking some sessions with Spike at Long Island University, about the time that Spike was making Malcolm X. In one of the sessions a young woman, who had worked closely with the production people. A fairly attractive, I guess… white woman began talking about Densel in such a way that I could tell she had great disdain for him.
Now, I’m not saying this is true. But it came back to mind when I was reading the front cover of that magazine.
When I initially looked this story up over to internet to see if it were true, I could find nothing on it. Now, it seems that Densel is out and about saying ‘there will be no divorce.’ He is saying that there is no break-up inspite of what seems to not be 1 rumor …but rumors.
Densel Washington today is a top of his game a very high grossing actor… a super big action movie hero and heart throb. His world today is a very far cry since his days on the small screen, as a doctor at St. Elsewhere… or something or other like that, a hospital series that was on TV… some maybe 20 years ago. At his leisure these days Densel commands upward and over $20 million per film.
Densel and Paulette started dating in 1977… 3 or 4 years later they married. He was then a struggling and aspiring actor, and she was an actor/dancer, some 5 years his senior. They have been married 29 years… and are the parent of 4 or 5 children.
Since Densel is declaring that his marriage is not over… I guess unlike so many other couples… they both must feel that their marriage is worth fighting for.
Either that or all this talk about divorce really is… nothing but senseless rumors.
The alleged other woman is this… from what I gather, is actress Lanaa Lathan, of that hit movie ‘Love & Basketball.’
Didn’t she used to be Omar Epps’ girl-friend years ago?
Lathan looks good now…and has always been pretty. But Densel’s wife is beautiful. And I know whatever he does… if this thing might be true… Densel is going to be thinking about his kids… and the effects upon them and their mother. And, of course, his pocketbook… otherwise that $150 million divorce article might come true.
At this stage of the game I believe Denzel to be mature enough to definitely not be going through that thing what Donald Trump and Ivana went through. That thing which so many men say they go through. That…that thing… which is actually an excuse for exchange in sexual partners and/or wives… called ‘mid-life crisis.’
Again let me say that I want to thank those of you very much who have ventured out and purchased my book… which can be ordered on-line at any number of websites… just google THE BISHOP’S WIFE by Bernadine Smith… and see for yourself. And you can also read excerpts from my book on-line as well at Barnes&Nobles Nook, amazon.com etc…
Add a comment July 26, 2013
Another Post I never got around to Publishing… SOUL TRAIN MUSIC AWARDS a couple years ago… TEXAS STABBINGS & EXPLOSION at BOSTON MARATHON
Talk about not getting around to POST… when I finally came back to this blog it was I don’t know how long. Now, after that it has been several weeks more …had to add the tags and things. And finally today here it goes…after a bomber or more…struck at the Boston Marathon today just as the runners started crossing the finish line.
I almost wrote… I’m just shaking my head… but it takes more than that if we ever expect to get a handle on this. And it goes beyond insanity to some type of morbid inner nothingness that these people have who go out and do these type of things.
Well, nevertheless…. here is another Post that I just never got around to publishing for one reason or other. After briefly reading through it I thought that I might share it with you…it seems that I felt like sharing some more of myself in it to you… wonder why?
I rarely like telling much about myself… though I must say that you really cannot tell it by reading many of my blogs. But for the record… I cannot remember at all when I wrote this but it was a while back… so today I am feeling great and the day is sunny and beautiful.
Now, here is that blog which I failed to published some time ago…
I am just a touch under the weather. And because I am not accustom to being sick… it tends to bother me a little more than most people.
The other thing is… I do not take medication. Not at all. Well… almost not at all. There have been times when I had to breakdown and swallow something… or go in and have them give me a shot or something… but not often. And believe me when I say… I have to be in an awful lot of pain and/or discomfort for me to do it.
Otherwise, I just suffer whatever it is that is bothering me… until it goes away. Not many people can do that… or attempt to do that. Since so many people rush to go grab up a bottle of this or that at the slightest on-set of something they think may be bothering them… they never even try to fight off anything.
But this is just a little slight cold. A sliver of dust must have gotten into my system while I was helping my brother move some furniture that he chose to move from my parent’s house into his new apartment. And since I am allergic to house dust… and it didn’t take much before I started itching then a tickle came into my throat. But as soon as the dust gets out of my system I will be up and about again.
But this past weekend I had a chance to catch the Soul Train Music Awards. Needless to say… I did not know most of acts or the awardees. But, of course, I did recognize Anita Baker and Ron Isley as they paid tribute to them.
For one thing how can anyone who portrayed herself as being so Afro-centric ever have lighten their skin?
Well, that is exactly what Eryka Badu has done… or so it appeared to be the case to me. And she looked terrible. At first I didn’t even notice it… because it was kind of subtle and her face was camouflaged by the hat she was wearing. It cast a shadow over her face.
We have all read about black women in Africa and the West Indies doing it… but to see that Eryka Badu has stooped to bleaching????
It is insane. If anything I have always wanted to be darker… but lighter no. A cousin of mine slipped and started calling me ‘light’ and I totally disliked it. She was trying to anger me. And she did the moment she let that slip out of mouth.
Needless to say, Eryka has always been a bit wired and out there. She likes doing things to grab attention… I guess you could say. I remember when she first came onto the music scene… everybody thought that the very long dredlocks she was sporting then were her own. But low-and-behold… over a period of time we all came to find out that it had been a wig or more than likely dred extensions. After that I think she went to having no hair at all.
But seeing Erykah Badu with lighter skin… was discussing to me. Talking about a mindless woman… who evidently hates herself. I wouldn’t want attention that bad. And whatever song that was… that she song on the Soul Train Music Awards… if it was intended to catapult the re-emergence of her singing career?
For the most part most of the music on the Soul Train Music Awards show really wasn’t even ‘soul music’ any more. But a bunch of that ‘neo-soul’ junk.
So, in watching the Soul Train Music Awards… I began to feel that we are loosing our identity…our musical identity and authenticity. An identity and authenticity which has marked and ruled… in my opinion the whole music world in this country since we came to these shores as slaves brought to America. And my did we bring something with us.
Some of the best and most authentic music America has ever had really came out of a revised culture whose roots were founded in slavery. Much like the food we developed here called ‘Soul Food.’ Hence, Soul Music… the Blues… Doo-Wop… Gospel Music… Rhythm & Blues etc… etc.. etc…
In watching the Soul Train Music Awards show I felt that soul music had been replaced by a bunch of people who neither wrote lyrics or played real instruments. People who only looked black, but were trying very hard to appear as weird and way-out as they possibly could be. This because it would seem that everything today concerning music is about branding and images… and far less than about true talent… real vocal skills or any skills as far as being a musician or a real song writer. What happened to artists with the talent of a Little Stevie Wonder or a Prince?
Based upon what I had seen those type of talents had faded far far far away.
None of them… this group or now generation singers seemed to want to have any connection to the music that put Motown on the charts, or Philly on the map… or Chicago, Detroit, Memphis, New York, and LA. Or that had made other urban places hubs for the rich urban soul sound and melodic tones that had come to be called ‘soul music’ or ‘rhythm & blues” …or even “gospel.”
While watching the Soul Train Music Awards… there were no Anita Bakers or Ron Isleys awaiting in the crowd to hear their names called for award. In fact, the only soulful talenst on the show was Anita Baker, Ron Isley, Pebo Bryson, Chante Moore, Rochelle Ferrell, Jeffery Osborne and a few others. But clearly the ‘soul‘ that had been in the history of Soul Train is now gone.
Everybody wants to be a cross-over artist… some neutral detergent that appears to be black or African American but actually doing some white thang.
The whole time I sat watching the Soul Train Music Awards… which is something I have not watched in years… or any other music or movie awards show in years. As I had long ago felt that they had been watered down to appeal to more less urban audiences.
But it was frightening for me to see such a lost of what seemed to me to be a vast depreciation of what has always been ours… our real musical genius and talenst… gifted voices and fantastic lyric writing… such as that of Barry White and Issac Hayes… Holland,-Dozier-Holland, Ashford & Simpson, Marvin Gaye, Curtis Mayfield… etc…etc… all to be turned into something which sounded a lot more like that puff of glitter disco music and digitized junk. And I must say that I see the exact same thing happening to gospel music.
In gospel music there has developed a vast desire to be played on something ‘called‘ Christian Radio stations… which in my opinion is nothing but a bunch of rock music stations playing rock music and calling it ‘Christian Music.’
It would be a shame to loose the richness of our music… and the history that our music carries with it to the junk I bared witnessed to on the Soul Train Music Awards. Outside of the tributes to some real Soul legends… there was nothing on that show I would have voted to give 1 award to.
One day we will look up and no one will know what ‘soul music’ was or that it had ever been. They will not know that there had been such groups like Blue Magic, the Dramatics, Delfonics, Temptations, Supremes, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, the Manhattans, Teddy Pendergrass, Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes, Chi-Lites, Rufus featuring Chaka Khan, Phyllis Hyman, Najee, Kirk Walham, the Sylvers, Michael Jackson, the Jackson 5, the Sugar Hill Gang and the list goes on and on and on… And those are just those from my era there tons more before them.
Who can forget when James Brown first cried-
“Say it loud I’m black and I’m proud.”
Or, “Baby, please don’t go.”
Or when Curtis Mayfield song these words-
Or Nina came with-
“To be young gifted and black.”
Maybe there is no need for such lyrics like these today anymore. But that can’t true… particularly after what I just said about Eryka Badu and skin bleaching. But then how about-
“La-la-la means I love you… I love you.”
What about –
“They’re smiling in your face…all the while they want to take your place.”
Will soul music die like jazz has died?
There are no more jazz artists like Max… Coltrane … Gillipsie… or Yusuf LaTiff… or Miles …. any more.
Or how about a Junior Parker… or another B.B. King… or Muddy Waters… or Bo Diddley and their special blend?
Now, I must admit that these days I am strictly into gospel music… but having a history in the radio industry it is hard for me to not realize the importance of preserving this cultural history. It is ours… and our children need to be recipients of at least knowing of that it once was. We cannot just forsake everything.
These musical forms and artists are long gone… Well, more or less off the musical scene… the ones I just mentioned above. And soon along with their names will the memories of Blue Magic, Phyllis Hyman, the Dells, Temptations, Supremes, the Staple Singers and everybody else either before them or who came after them like Chak Khan, Earth, Wind & Fire, Emotions etc. be forgotten too. To be replaced by a bunch of people who have forsaken moving bass beats for neo- tinty sounds that have nothing soul about them. Music you can hop and jump up and down to… like we used to watch those young white kids do on those afternoon after school dance shows like the Dick Clark Show. But they can’t really dance to. And I guess that is really the point… its not meant to be danced to… but just to make some money.
Forget art… What does art have to do with it?
No wonder the Soul Train Musical Awards show didn’t resemble anything like their old award shows… or for that matter… didn’t come close to emitting anything I would have called ‘soul’… outside of having a tribute to a few past ‘soul’ artists. What a real shame…a legacy gone to naught…
I hate to say it… but little wonder Don Cornelius took a gun… When you sell off something your control of it goes too… Truly the history of Soul Train will never be the same…
Add a comment April 15, 2013
Well, since it is Black History Month maybe now would be a good time to post this blog which I started in 2009 but never, for some reason or other never came back to. Can’t remember what prompted me to begin it in the first place. Though I must say along with Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Coretta Scott King, Bernice Reagan, Merle Evers, Harriette Tubman, Sojourna Truth, my Mother, Grand-mothers, Great Grand-mother, Mrs. Parks, as in Rosa… and half a dozen others… if not more women I have always admired… I celebrate them all. And if I keep thinking I am sure that I can come up with a few more… like O. J. Simpson’s first wife.
You may asked why I have O. J.’s first ex-wife on my list… it is simply that I admired her for taking the high road in all that mess. Out of all of O. J.’s supposed friends and colleagues… judges and lawyers everybody went for the money. They sold O. J. out every which way they could sell him. That is to say everybody except for his first wife. She never took 1 dime or ever came out against him. Never wrote a book… never signed a book deal… and she denied almost every offer for an interview. Though I am sure that she could have had a lot to say… but she chose the high road… the side of ‘to do him no harm.’
So, women like that… or people like that I can admire without any level of hesitation. Because most people today will sell you down the river for a dime… a promotion… or whatever else is up for grabs. And I am not being cynical.
Relationships… family bonds… friendships… you name it and they can all be tossed to the wind if somebody comes in with the right price. And sometimes that prices doesn’t even necessarily have to even be actual money. It can be a position… a title… an automobile… property… status… and phoney friendship… whatever the other side is in need of or looking for.
This is one of biggest and most saddest things about the world and people who live in it today. Had Jesus still been alive today he might have had to worry about more than 1 Judas… but maybe 6… 8 or 11 of them.
Everybody loves you while there is something to be gained in their association of you. In the Bible it appears that Job was a very popular man until he lost everything including his health. So, I guess it can be said that people have been the same throughout history. Was it not Caesar who said ‘et tu, Butus?’
It was not a secret that Malcolm X was the Honorable Elijah Muhammad, the founder and religious leader of the National of Islam, right-hand-man and 2nd in command. In fact, Malcolm had become the front man for the organization… he was the voice and the face of the organization at that time.
Malcolm X, Malcolm Little the name given to him by his mother, was such an eloquent speaker and possessed such great charisma that the Nation of Islam grew greatly under him. A thing that I am sure was celebrated in the beginning of their relationship between him and Mr. Muhammad… but later it became a source of contention between the 2 …as Mr. Muhammad saw Malcolm X’s power and authority growing among the ranks of the followers in his organization.
And then Malcolm went to Mecca and everything really changed between them. When I was in high school I recall buying a book called the “Autobiography of Malcolm X” …that book really intrigued me. I had not known anything about him until I read that book.
I guess I should invest more time in reading about our historical icons… and those who are little known. Their contributions were great and should not be overlooked… while we make millionaires of only writers of fiction.
I really cannot remember what prompted me to begin this blog… or why I entitled it ‘Bettye & Malcolm X?’
But there had to have been a reason. But since really I cannot at this time remember the reason… I have decided to just go ahead and post this blog anyway as a tribute to Black History Month 2013… I hope you enjoy it.
I celebrate all the heroic women and men who make up our history. Who endured, sacrificed… bleed… were spat upon… whooped… beat… stomped… dogs sicked upon… hit with forceful waters from water hydrants… who were made widowed or orphan… chained… tarred and feathered… and those who died. I celebrated them all… including those who felt it worthy to die over just being called a belittling word that started with that letter ‘N’ … that I might walk and sit… and eat and sleep… and live… and go to school etc… where I want to.
I will not forget… nor can I ever repay the debt by which they have endowed me… my family… my son… my nieces and nephews… our families… our history and our legacy for generations to come. Providing us with much pride… dignity… courage that must be passed on to all our children.
It is Black History Month… and I am happy to celebrate all of our she-ro’s and hero’s… and there are many many many many of them. And I thank God for each and every one of them.
2 comments March 1, 2013
You would think that 1 of the hottest topics at the Atlanta Hair Show would have been about some fantastic hair-do… but it wasn’t. Way from it.
The buzz on the floor and from booth to booth was about Will Smith and Jeda Pickett-Smith.
I had long ago wrote a glowing blog about them being great role models and a beautiful couple… but who knew that all was not what it seemed?
They seemed to be the perfect couple. Happy… and certainly with it all going on. But who knew what dark little secrets lurked deep down within?
Who knew that it was at all as it was made to seem?
I thought them happy. I thought them perfectly matched. I thought that they truly loved one another. I thought that there was nothing that could drive them apart. I thought…
Well, I thought all was well. But it seems that it wasn’t. And that it was far from being well.
It was my son that broke the news to me saying-
But who knew?
Well… I knew someone who knew… and she told me it many years ago saying-
“Awh, come on, Bern… don’t you see it. If you don’t then you are the only 1 who doesn’t.”
But I refused to accept it. But it seems that she was right… that same friend who I wrote about in my blog about the DeBarge family… the 1 who I used to laugh with when we would giggle over, and pick fun at how sissy the DeBarge brothers all seemed. Yeah, her…
And he said they got tired of having an open marriage.
I said –
“What? What do you mean an open marriage?”
I was thinking he was talking about the usual kind of thing maybe some other woman … or possibly another man. The man part was right… but he wasn’t talking about Jeda.
It was Will.
And my son said that everybody at the hair show was talking about it. Since the hair show was made up of a large number of gay men… I immediately began to think that this had to be true. Because gay men are in the know about such things as this. And from men to women at the hair show… they were all buzzing about it.
I have yet to pull myself up off the floor behind this. Some things really do come as such a surprise… and this was 1 for me. Though I have to say it again… my friend had told me it long ago, when Will was playing as the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.
It was something I guess I never wanted to see… and perhaps way down deep I was hoping it wasn’t so. And I STILL AM.
I really thought Will and Jeda made for a great couple. They seemed to be great parents …and they seemed to place a high value on family.
Though I wasn’t particular about their new-found religious beliefs… and how after coming into all that money they decided that they wanted to convert into becoming members of the Church of Scientology. Which struck me as a Hollywood thang… for the $20 million plus crowd. Which Will stepped into many years ago after leaping from the small screen onto the large screen… with a massive following.
It is disappointing really. But I guess we are all chased by demons at some point or other in our lives. The trick is to not allow them to consume us. And to fight until we win… and not them.
There seems to be a rash of men and women stepping into the gay lifestyle. For some it seems to be hip…even fashionable. But for others it is something that they have been drawn into … whether by their own fascination …or by some type of inducement… enticement… inquisitive nature … or whatever have you. And clearly I forgot about acts of abuse as another root cause for some.
But for whatever reason it seems to be growing. Or maybe it is that it is more open. Perhaps, the latter is probably the real case.
And it seems to me that I see so many young school kids making choices at early ages about such things. And many of them… especially the girls are deep into role-playing… meaning dressing or acting out the male role.
Having come out ‘the life’… meaning having been gay myself… I cannot help but feel for them. So, I study them and watch them… and can’t seem to take my eyes off them. Because I hate to see anyone commit their lives to something that is so anti-them.
I can’t say that I hated me. But I did hate what I looked like… hated my size… and I can’t remember what else. But I never really liked me.
I never thought I was pretty or anything like that. And my interest were not really in girl-ly things.
But I never desired to be a boy… and certainly not a man. I did like that part about me.
So, I never considered role-playing as an option for me… though for most of my relationships with women …I was designated as what would have been the male role. Because even in not playing roles… somehow you end up in them. Somebody is going to be more fem …and somebody butch. And it is because that is how life is… and we imitated life and the various categories of life as 2 people together.
But I really get disturbed at seeing so many young people gravitating towards an alternate lifestyle. And particular those who are so young… young girls and boys in the 7th or 8th grade.
CLICK. It has just dawn on me that I was in the 9th grade when some girl first started following me around… and later began to stick letters into my locker. How quickly we forget.
I rarely think of it now. Her letters turned into phone calls when she happen to come upon my sister 1 day… telling my sister that I had given her our phone number… and that she had lost it. So, my sister accommodated her by giving it to her again… or so she thought.
This is when I found out that all those mysterious letters in my locker were coming from a girl. It is funny because I never ever talked to that girl face 2 face… until much later in our lives. Because for 1 thing I was afraid of her…
Once I realized what was going on I soon began to notice that that girl used to walk pass all my classrooms. She used to just stand there outside my classrooms looking through the glass door at me. She also used to sneak into the 9th grade lunch… as she at the time was only an 8th grader… and she would always sit somewhere across from me… watching me… staring at me. It is funny how I had never noticed her before… but then I had thought it was some boy sending me all those letters.
Though the girl never tried to hurt me… or ask me to do anything sexually… I nevertheless kept my distance from her.
Believe it of not I had actually finished this blog…BUT LOST EVERYTHING BELOw THIS. So, at some point maybe I may come back and redo it. But not right now …or tonight it is after 4 AM…
So, please forgive me while I get some sleep.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
Add a comment August 24, 2011
Now, and I want to show you something that I started yesterday. It is the radio spot for my book. I added some visual material just so I could launch it over youtube…and you would have something to watch.
But if you have been wondering about me… I mean my voice. What I may or may not sound like.
I mean I would be curious about you… if I read some of your work. Most people flip over a book just to take a look at what the author looks like. And I have given you that chance in my actual book trailer, which I have also included in this blog.
But I am so excited about my radio spot. Tell me what you think. And it is me speaking… but then I have told you that by profession I am a radio announcer.
And if you think my radio spot is something… which thanks to a software call ‘Motion’… it really looks greater than I could have imagined. Then ‘Final Cut’…was the software I used to put it all together. And the rest is… Well, you tell me…
And one other thing… I really wished you could see my website. If you went and checked out my initial site…which really wasn’t much to check out. Baby, you should see it now!
I just finished reading this story. There are things that touch me…and things that make me mad. This story did both.
How in the world could the LA police arrest a young woman mentally challenged, hold her for a few days then release her without her pocketbook, money, or any way to get home. And seeing that the young woman was obviously distressed in some way.
How could they have done that to her?
If they had set it up the LA police could not have done a better job in aiding in the murder of this young woman. The moment this young woman was released the chances of her making it home safely without something happening…in LA?
It was slim at the very best. And the worst part of it…. her loving and caring mother tried her best to keep anything from happening to her daughter.
I feel for this family.
My goodness…what a terrible story. I cannot imagine the hell or the evil that Matrice was thrown in or the fate that she had to endure. What a terrible story. No amount of money or law suit can compensate the injustice which was done here.
There is something that I am so sure about.
“The devil desires to steal your life.”
And if you let him he will.
There was once a time when I thought about suicide. But thank God, He only let it be just a fleeing thought.
Matters of the heart can make people do foolish things.
But the one thing about life is this…
There is always tomorrow. And usually it is a much better day.
I just finished talking to friend of mine who reminded me that Fantasia is illiterate. It has been so long that I had forgotten it. How she told the story of how she had to learn the songs for American Idol by having to have someone read her the words so that she could remember them.
Can you imagine that?
For her to do that… Fantasia in fact must be brilliant. And if she had learned to read and perhaps all those other basic things that we all pretty much take for granted… she might have well been further ahead today since having won American Idol a few years ago.
You know to know how to read, write, add and subtract. Without these basic skills all of us would find it difficult to survive.
Now with computers and with texting… who doesn’t need to know how to read or type… or write? And it doesn’t matter whether you can type with 1 finger or with all 10… but without being familiar with the alphabet or without knowing how to read you would be lost… totally out of the loop.
Then there was something about her a ‘sex tape.’
Could it be a need for some attention?
That is what my son says.
Or is it that Fantasia like some many other ‘so-called’ stars when they fall out of the glimmer of all the light… they reach out to do some desperate or stupid things just to get catapulted back into the spot light?
Attempting to commit suicide is illegal. But I hear that Fantasia is due to release a new CD and sometime this week she begins making the rounds to various TV shows. Perhaps it was… just something to give her something to talk about while she sat down for those rounds of TV interviews. Or perhaps it was all for her to grab the attention of Oprah and others to add her to their guest lists in the wake of her ordeal… and increase CD sales.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale. You can CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.
2 comments August 20, 2010
They clamor to be in the videos, on the cover of the magazines, on the big screen, sitting on the Oprah show… or on somebody’s reality show. They want it… want it… or 15 minutes of it… if that is all they can get.
Some people have committed various acts… including murder… shooting up high schools …bombing buildings …etc… all in order to get their name in print and/or picture on TV.
If many knew what that life was really like I doubt that they would pursue it. It is a life filled with lots of ups and downs. And plenty of its own uncertainties… and always lots of money and work woes.
There are some things in the video clip above that you should play close…very close attention to. First of all, is the lack of any real care or concern by the woman who claims to be Gary Coleman’s wife.
Second of all, when she finally does start talking to him…listen to how she speaks rather…barks at him like she is talking to a little misbehaving child instead of a bleeding and near dying husband.
And Fourth of all, how much more concerned about herself and what she can’t stand and what is going on with her… which seems to be of far more importance to her than a bleeding Gary Coleman.
Is it possible that Gary Coleman may have fallen prey to a person he should have chased back and away from him…instead of marrying her?
After several episodes of run-ins with fans who seem to have gotten too close to him, where Coleman had been noted as being mean and evil towards them. And often it ended up with him punching 1 or 2 of them in the face.
Then how did he hook up with this woman?
Is it possible that she allowed Coleman to lay there bleeding until he was near death…and then decided to call 911 for emergency assistance for him?
Is it possible that she may have hit him or… somehow or other brought about brain hemorrhage that brought about his death?
Not if you go by what you hear during that 911 call.
What does that mean?
At any rate Gary’s parents have sent their people to step into the picture between that woman and Gary…on their son’s behalf. I really feel for them.
I had always thought it sad when Gary went into court with his parents, who are really foster parents to him. But I guess the only parents he ever knew. And after it happened, I had always hoped that time would have healed that wound between them.
It does happen sometimes in families. In fact in many families it does happen. Most families experience some type of falling out one time or other. But then there are those families that go to grave not ever speaking again after whatever happened came between them.
Those family members who mature and/or come to know that ‘there is nothing like family,’ they learn to but aside differences in order to not to continue to tear the family apart. Many times it is hard but you have to do it ‘for the sake of the family.’ Otherwise, there will be tons of regrets on both sides years later… and usually well after it is too late.
I had to learn through the grace of God to put aside some things dealing with family issues in our family. The things that set us at each other, and all the name calling… finger pointing …can’t override the value of keeping the family together. You have to work at keeping the family together… because no amount of things or ill will or words can compensate for it…family.
Family is important.
Unfortunately, Gary Coleman may have elected to turn his back on the 2 people who may have well loved him the most… to run into the arms of people who filled him up with a bunch of ill advice and evil counsel.
On the other hand Dana Plato’s, the young girl on Diff’rent Stroks, foster mother struck me as being much like Patty Duke’s family and aunt, who saw her as being a gold mine. The same could be said about the father of the star of the movie ‘Home Alone,’ McCaulay Culkin.
It is sad imagining any child who has to endure a life among people who really do not love them… or who value more what the child can earn for ‘them.’ At some point I guess this is exactly what Gary began to feel… though I must say I never believed it about the people who called him ‘their son.’
I think it was murder.
Michael Jackson was a young teen boy when people got in between him and his family too. Over time and perhaps even out of some degree of necessity on both parts… their’s and his… they slowly came back together. Because at the end of the day…family is all you have when you get right down to it. All you have got to depend upon.
Going through pictures of Gary Coleman, I can see that there were times when he wasn’t doing so well healthwise. I produced a documentary on dialysis a while ago. Before it I had never heard the word dialysis before or even knew that there people who could not urinate on their own due to problems with their kidneys.
But I had an aunt who started needing dialysis treatments due to her diabetes. Through her I came to find out about the illness and how it ate away at those who had to depend upon it.
Well, that is one of the side effects of dialysis. Another is the obvious swelling of his face… and the ashy-ness of his skin tone. Do you notice how his eyes appear to almost be shut?
He does look sick doesn’t he?
With so many health issues due to his kidneys since being a young child and straight through his life… which also stunted his growth greatly… and other problems… it is not hard to see why Gary Coleman was as he was. Though such adversity in the lives of others has caused them to not only raise above their circumstances…but to truly go for the stars in ways that Gary did not. They turn their circumstances around by working to benefit the lives of others. But it seems that Gary could not rally that kind of strength.
He seemed to be alone in the world… and the 1 person left for him to depend upon wouldn’t even help him in his final hour of need. What a tragedy…for him …and maybe even for us. As none us tried to help him either.
If you would like to read the 911 call put in by Shannon Price, you can CLICK on the LINK BELOW.
I will never forget watching her taking some award where she graciously stepped to the mic to said a few words to the teacher who told her that she would never make it as an actress. It is amazing the things we remember.
Of course like millions I too sat watching nights of Golden Girls. Who didn’t love ‘ma’ Estelle Getty…or Dorothy her larger than life daughter. And that ditizy Betty White… and that over-aged sex kitten Blanche.
One by 1 they are slowly departing this place. First Estelle Getty, then Bea Arthur, and Rue McClanahan and leaving Betty White. All of them better known by their character names… Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia…the Golden Girls.
Today there are reality shows… and shows about people trying to win a million dollars. It all became so boring to me that I stopped watching TV a while ago. And truthfully… I have not missed it. Besides, as an adult person my schedule is way too busy for me to be sitting down and watching television.
Didn’t intend to write so much. Now, I have a movie that I want to watch.
So, you have a good night… and a beautiful day tomorrow.
Update Saturday, June 5th: I awoke this morning having left my son’s laptop up on some news items on the oil spill in the Gulf. Listening to it… 1 news broadcast on the oil spill after another… the impact of the breath of this oil spill has finally really hit home to me.
The British people in the upper level of BP really were such big liars. They lied about everything… saying that they had it contained…that it was not going to hit the shores…and that it would not impact the local environment. In the beginning that BP top guy was passing the buck of responsibility on to someone else… some other company… and that it was not their oil rig at fault. Their oil rig that had failed to have all the safety measures that by law they should have had in place. Yet other lies by BP.
Now, the oil slick has hit Florida and is on its way out into the Atlantic Ocean if the clean up doesn’t speed up and can’t contain it any better than BP already has. It all makes me think about the Republican Convention during McCains’ run for the Presidency against Obama. Where they walked around with ton of signs and cries of-
“Drill, baby…drill,” could be heard all over that convention floor. The Republicans were excited about going out and digging more oil rigs… even stating that they would go into protected environmental areas to do so.
This is the video new items that awoke to. And believe it became crystal clear to me that what is going on in the Gulf of Mexico right now is surely going to impact us all.
How is it that a British oil company owns oil rigs in our own home waters… while we are seeking oil from foreign shores of countries such as those in the Middle East?
If we have oil right here in America then we should be producing it and controlling it for our own use. And particularly since these oil rigs are so dangerous and can impact us in such a way as this gushing BP oil rig in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico.
Yes, I am advocating that we all boycott BP…it is time that they started feeling it in their pocketbook. Perhaps then BP might realize that they can’t come into America and treat Americans any kind of way…or endanger us without a hefty price.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
Add a comment June 5, 2010
I have long held that most of the supposed authorities giving out information on how to treat, displine and handle your children…are really a bunch of people who do not know what they are talking about.
Now, today I happen to come across this article…which…
Well, it proves my point.
The above LINK to the article is written by a mother who states that she is a Professor at some big time university…where she and her husband taught. And I say ‘taught’…because he is now deceased, but she still teaches there…wherever it is.
Probably in New York…or at Yale…or some place. Some place like NYU…or Harvard…M.I.T. Or Georgetown…or Princeton. But I bet you it is somewhere on the East Coast. Somewhere near Greenwich… or out in the Hamptons.
And I tell you why.
In this woman’s article…this Professor… she states that she told her daughter that it was okay for her to drop out of school.
Yes, I did say that. This she plainly states in her article where she says that she told her daughter, who wanted to drop out of high school…that it was okay to do so. In fact in the article the woman states this….”school wasn’t working for her. So, I even encouraged her to drop out.”
Now, do you get my point?
For some years now these so-called ‘parenting experts’ have been telling this country how to care, chastize, woo and cuddle their child. Most of them mind you have never even had a child yet they sit around articulating on various talk shows, radio programs and in new articles how ‘we’…real parents should care for our children, and their discipline.
They are the ones responsible for why laws were written about what types of discipline are and are not allowable or acceptable. Laws which have given way to some of the most unruly children to walk the face of this earth. Many have no matters…and some even lack basic unbringing.
I am not, however, critiquing or criticizing all children or teens…or anyone outside of this mother who happens to claim that she is an expert in this matter. Clearly something is wrong with the picture of ‘child/parent relationships’ today. And this corrupted picture basically has stemmed from a lot of very bad advice from a bunch of people running around who nothing about children. And neither do most of them had any children of their own…or like this woman who wrote the above article…they failed to be able to control their own children.
So, they give in to them…and up on them.
No one. None of them did. Though in past times many children did not have the leisure of pursuing a full education based upon family demands. But these days have changed and so has the criteria to be capable and compedent to be a part of today’s work force. It has grown and gotten much higher. You need more education today…more than ever before. And particularly if you want what is called a good job…and higher pay.
Evidently, this woman is either very rich… or she has heavily insured her daughter and plans for some type of accident. Because either that or she must be planning on taking care of her daughter some how for the rest of her life. Because without a college education…and many times above… her daughter’s life is going to become very hard.
Anyone who does not have an appropriate education today is as good as doomed. There is no about it…or buts about it. Everybody can’t go to Hollywood and become the next $20 million movie star…or make mega making music song deals.
I am sure that that this woman’s daughter is never going to be the next Whitney Houston or Barbara Streisand. Her daughter doesn’t stand a chance unless her mother has some money. It is highly unlikely that this woman’s daughter will succeed at much of anything if her mother’s attitude has always been-
“Oh, well if you can’t do it that’s okay. Just quit.”
What parent tells their child that?
People who want their child or children to succeed in life push them. They push them to get up in morning…to make their beds… to clean their rooms… to brush their teeth… to comb their hair… to take a bath…etc. Parent’s push their children…and after a while the hope is our children will start pushing themselves. They must learn to get up…and make their way in life. They have to learn to clean their rooms on occasions… and how to take a bath and brush their teeth…and comb their hair without anyone having to push them.
And I do not mean by being mean and cruel to your children…or be overbearing in your desires for your children. No, not in that way…where the children come to dispise you because all you care about is that “A” or the winning of the ball game. No, not at all like that. But the kind of pushing that parents must do in order to get their children up and going…and to engage them in life.
It is called ‘growth and development.’
We grow…and develop over time. I am sure that over time even I have grown in the writing of these blogs. My first blogs are nothing like they are now…be it in their overall appearance…content…the amount of time I spend on creating them…and my total effort in doing them. I have grown…and so have they.
But I learned how to grow through my parents pressuring me to always do my best…and to never give up. Needless to say…I didn’t always like it…but it worked. Speaking of which…when my son spent 4 years in 9th grade…
Yes, I did say 4 years in 9th grade. I told him this-
“I don’t care how long it takes you to finish high school. You can sit there until you get old and grey if you want to. But you are going to stay there until you finish or until somebody walks up to you and taps you on the shoulders to tell you to get out. But you are going to stay there until then.”
And I meant every word of it.
It was not that my son was a bad child. But he was a social butterfly. I sat in on many of his classes just to ensure that he was doing his doing what he was suppose to be doing in school. And I often travelled in from New York… getting off the inter-state bus to catch a city bus to the whatever school he was at.
If you want your children to succeed you have got to commit yourself to their success. And you have to do it without surrendering. I never surrendered. Today my son is very successful. He successfully finished high school and then went on from there. Today he makes lots of money doing what he loves. But it did not come with me giving up on him or giving in to him.
It takes education to end up in life doing what you love. Must people work doing what they have to…and oftentimes doing something that hate (and that is many times regardless of their education if they chose to study something just for the money). But those who are educated can pick and choose what it is that they want to do…and at what price. That is the beauty and difference that education can make.
This is not to say, however, that only people with good education succeed. Because there are many examples today and yesterday that prove that point as well. But, however, that road is not an easy one… and it becomes complicated with a lot of ‘no’s’…and plently of road blocks.
During the last year of my son’s 4th year in 9th grade whenever he asked me for anything I would just merely say-
“Four years-9th grade.”
That ended any further discussion about whatever it was that he was asking me for. Oh, how I loved that time…I did not buy one single thing for him that was not a need. He asked me for new pair of $100 sneakers…he asked me for a beeper…he asked me for all kinds of things. But he got none of them… no Christmas gifts…birthday gifts…nothing. Nothing…not that I would have bought him a beeper or spent $100 on a pair of sneakers anyways. But I still remember his face when I would say that to him…4 years-9th grade. But he made it out of 9th grade. And from that point on he began making the honor roll.
It took some time but it got there. It hit home… my saying that to him. It must have given him pause to sit back and think about the time he was wasting. He had thought of school as a fun place not a learning place. It is alright to have fun in school, but not whern it disrupts others…or hinders your learning…or that of those around you. My son did not hinder others…he just was busy not doing his work.
But after that first time of making it onto honor roll there was such a shift in my son’s attitude towards his school work. He started taking pride in himself and his school work. He even began to brag that he was the smartest boy in his class. And from that first moment on the honor roll he just kept on out performing all of them…because it felt better than sitting in school doing nothing…and everybody now looking up to him, and asking him to help them.
At the end of the day no child wants to do anything. I know I didn’t. We would have all rathered to have sat before the TV all day watching cartoons or drawing and coloring on paper…where as today’s kids play all kinds of computer games…game boy and things like that. And if they could they would never set it down… or go to school if their parents let them.
So, enter this woman…who I guess is proud… Well, she states that she is proud. She feels that she has done some great thing by telling to her daughter to quit school. I would beg to differ.
And just like I said when I started this blog. It just goes to prove all along what I have always believed about these so-called ‘child experts.’ They do not have a clue. And nobody should be listening to them.
And before I forget…the reason I said that the woman (the mother) was probably some Professor from NYU or some other North Eastern college, was because her view seemed to be quite East Coast liberal. It was…or is quite liberal, which I think is how a lot of former flower children/hippy…or should I say ex-hippy…or ex-flower children liberal Eastern Professors think. And particularly if they have money…or come from families with money.
If you have money then it really doesn’t matter. You can say something dumb like tell your child to go ahead and just drop out. Because you have the finances to provide and care for that child for the rest of his or her life. And being that this woman has a daughter… Then she can do it right up until the time her daughter gets married.
Well, I was wrong…the woman who wrote the article teaches at some school in California.
But the point that made the whole article ridiculous for me was the fact that the woman…this ‘child/parenting expert’ was proud of herself for telling her daughter she should just drop out of high school. This she told her daughter because her daughter wasn’t doing well, and she didn’t like school.
Boy, if ever parent thought like this woman more than 3/4 of the school population would no longer be attending school.
What child doesn’t think that they hate school?
I didn’t…but that is beside the point. I guess I would be part of 1/4 attending school. But I don’t think I would really count. Because I only liked school because it got me out of the house and away from my sisters and brothers. When you are the oldest of 8 siblings…you fall in love with school real quick.
Now, back to this woman who wrote the article…this supposedly well educated woman…a woman of letters… having a doctorate in her field…which in turn gave way to her the claim to proclaim herself an expert in the first place. And this woman also writes books telling parents what to do concerning their children.
Real parents stand up. You better take those books by these so-called experts and throw them into your incinerator. Because clearly this woman doesn’t know what she is talking about. She doesn’t even have a clue. Her head must be stuck in the ground. And her hand is definitely not on the pulse of what is important in the real world.
And she teaches college students?????
If your child is going to succeed…they will need to be educated. And I hope that whoever your child is…I hope they are not in any of this woman’s classes.
Throughout history the levels of man’s success has always been measured and linked to his hard work and level of education. And education has always set the standard for the classes…separating those who have juxtapose to those who have not.
While listening to Bev Smith last night on her late-night radio talk show over the internet, I heard that Gary had been emitted into the hospital and was in intensive care.
If ever you have considered getting your child involved in the entertainment business Gary Coleman’s life is definitely one which should give you pause and is worthy of another consideration.
If ever there was a group of child stars who did not fare well it was the group of child stars that appeared on the show with Gary Coleman. We all remember “Diff’ rent Strokes.” It ran all the way up until Arnold began to turn old before our very eyes…and therein laid his delima.
Size-wise he never grew much but his feature stopped ceasing to be as cute and lovable…I guess you could say. Which I have no doubt had a lot to do with his medication and kidney problem. But then too there were those storylines. They got to where they were just plain dumb. And so the show over time lost its appeal and audience.
But there was something going on in the background. Drugs came into their midst. Then drinking added to the drugging. But we never could tell…least ways I couldn’t. But it affected the lives of the 2 other child stars on the show…more so than it did Gary.
Todd Bridges who was always good-looking, along with Dana plato all became sister and brothers. Willis…the character that Todd played on the show, was supposedly Arnold’s real brother, who both end up being adopted into the rich Drummon family. Where Dana, Kimberly Drummond on the show, becomes their sister. Todd later reported that he and Dana experimented with drugs together while working on the show.
Dana later becomes pregnant by some boyfriend and got fired from the show. Like Gary Coleman, she too was adopted. And from articles that I have read…the woman who adopted her was hungry for money and really never cared much for the child otherwise.
Dana’s life like Willis’ and Gary’s was sad following the end of their years as stars on Diff’rent Strokes. Down and out Dana moved to Vegas with her baby. She found herself in a beat-up trailer park…and one day steped into a video store to rob it with a gun…got jail time…and she later died of an overdose.
Like Willis, Dana was probably the product of child abuse. She had the typical scars of a sexually abused child. Following her departure from Diff’rent Strokes she posed nude in a layout in Playboy…and later turned to staring in pronography.
Willis’ inner demons began to plague him following a friend of his father taking advantage of him sexually as a very young kid. Years later he found himself suffering from anger management, drinking and problems with drugs…and doing time in jail on weapons charges.
Dana at the age of 14 was already drinking and drugging long before she hit the set of Diff’rent Strokes. It is amazing that watching them you would have never guessed any of the inner turmoils in any of their lives.
No one can ever tell me about the demons which chase children long after the abuse stops. What a different life and end she might have had.
Arnold…or Gary suffered with kidney problems…a problem which attributed to the lack of his growth in stature. And he also became a very angry man as the years went by. Often he was dragged into court stemming from incidents where he hit or punched a fan.
Though he tried at different ventures…everything failed. And for a very brief time he even tried to pursue a college education…but that too failed.
I think the one shinning moment through those years was when he and Willis teamed up on a movie showcasing their lives and the turmoil that followed after Diff’rent Strokes was ended. I have no doubt that that movie will pop up somewhere now that at the age of 42 Gary Coleman is gone.
Willis…or Todd which is his real name… has since gotten his life back on track. And often I have heard him talking about God in his life. I hear that he has a re-occuring role on a soap opera. I certainly wish the continued best for him…along with his continued growth in the Lord.
Yesterday I spent most of my morning resting for my afternoon studio shoot. About 1 o’clock I was up and rushing. But by the end of the night I was tired… but quite satisfied. I had gotten most of what I wanted… and everybody who said that they would… Well, they showed up.
Now, I am on my way with that. And I feel good.
And in case you are wondering why I have not said anything about my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, lately. Well, for one thing I was hoping to be in New York promoting my book at the Book Expo America this week. And since you know I was in the studio shooting footage last night… So, you know that that didn’t happen…no me and New York City this week.
The other thing that happened…and perhaps you have experienced this. My flash drive died. It CRASHED…and I had all most all of website files on it. And I do mean it crashed…and I had failed to back-up those files anywhere else.
So, for the past 2 weeks I have been praying over my flash drive…and continuously sticking into this computer and that computer hoping for just anything to happen. But it has not. So, I have been trying not to think about.
Because like you may have…I have learned this lesson more than once. And yet I continue to do it.
I never save anything on a back-up. And dealing with computers…which are very tempermental…you are taking a large risk if you don’t back-up everything someplace else.
Enjoy your night and have a beautiful day tomorrow…and Monday, Memorial Day. I am going to try and get some sleep now.
Today while waiting on bus. I was joined by some high school seniors in their caps and gowns. And they looked beautiful…and their was an air of excitement and happiness in each of their eyes, as well as, upon their faces.
And I just had to compliment them on their achievements, and tell them how well and beautiful they all looked.
It was beautiful.
The weekend before last we were in Jersey at Drew University cheering for my brother as he walked across the stage accepting his doctorate degree. This past weekend a niece and cousin graduated from college. And this coming coming Wednesday another niece will be graduating from college.
My parent’s children are all growing up…and our family is expanding in many different ways. In our growth and knowledge of the Lord…in our family size…and in our educational knowledge. My partents time and efforts were vested well.
So, it has been busy around here with all the graduations. All of the graduation receptions…and all of the tears of pride and joy…and happiness for them. Hope you have had the opportunity to do the same. And if not this year maybe next. But it does not come with people giving up…or parents telling their children its okay you can just quit and drop out of school.
What a road map for desaster.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
Add a comment May 29, 2010
Now I know that it is Black History Month and that I have been kind of quiet for this month. But I now no longer write a blog…and I guess this is true too for the earlier ones as well…unless I really have something to say. So, I guess it was that I just had more to say on things earlier when I initially started blogging then I now do…which is why I wrote them more often then.
But I am nonetheless highly opinoinated…I guess you might be able to tell that. So, while I was kicking up my heels and waiting on something to come in the mail…while searching over the web I came across this video and…and… Well, it has stirred me to write something.
Knowing that I am saved…as I am sure that you must know by now. Least ways I hope you have gathered that. I would like to think that my light is shinning in everything I have written over this site. And of course…my being being saved is not a state that I have always been….but it has been so for a few years now.
Most recently God spoke into my heart to not sit back and keep quiet on everything. So, thus…I speak on some things when moviated by a strong opinion regarding that subject or thing which sparks me to do so.
Now, having said that I could not see this video clip without commenting on it. I believe in truth…and hate any form of mis-information. Some people really hold onto things that people tell them…and they take it for truth when it is very much not. And very far from it.
You view this video and you tell me what you think.
There is a folley is loving yourself too much. And believing that you know all the answers…and particularly when you think that the mis-information that you dish out is correct.
There is no way that partying in the form as is expressed in the above video is correct. And to refer to when David danced…and compare it to a ‘male stripper’ is insane.
In downtown Brooklyn near Fulton Street and Flatbush Avenue …it is not uncommon to see and hear the 5 percenter’s…or the 10 percenters…or the 12 tribes of Israel…or whatever they call themselves. It is a group of about 5 to 8 black guys dressed in olden day garments…as in the anicent times of Moses…standing on soap boxes (milk crates) chanting about their god…and refering to the Bible as a means of discrediting Jesus and Biblical text.
Whenever I heard them saying stuff that was wrong…and though I didn’t know the Bible and certainly not any of its Biblical texts…but I grew up in church. So, I always felt that someone in those crowds…and there was always a crowd gathered around them as they spoke. I just felt that someone should have challenged them…and countered them. Somebody had to know scripture…so that they could have said something…but no one ever did. So, day after day…those guys stood out there on the corner of downtown Brooklyn dispelling lies…and falsehoods without any correction.
I now have learned a few things…not as much as most…but even so I refuse to let anything I see or hear and know that it is wrong go without me saying something. I just cannot.
Hence, my response to the above video by this young woman named Ty Adams. I have seen a few other videos of her’s over the internet…and know that she considers herself to be a Christian lecturer, teacher, conference speaker…and I guess you could say possibly even some kind of ‘life coach’ on relationships.
To top it off she calls herself…’Dr Ty.’ There are a lot people in the church today who have given themselves this title…doctor. Guess it sounds good to their ears. Juanita Bynum along with a few others…have done so as well. But when you go to read their bio info there is no mention of an institution to go along with their title. They just like the way it sounds…and to some degree it elevates them to a higher status…adds more credibility or something.
Yet, in the church you will hear them say…‘it’s not all about titles.’ But it seems that everybody wants one. Christina Glenn claims she earned her’s in some collage in India…I just had to look it up. And if push comes to shove…you can always buy one…there are plenty of services that will sell you a doctorate title…which is more like ‘give you one’…if you get that hard pressed for to have one.
But going back to sister Ty.
How in the world can anyone be paying this woman to come to their converence looking…and dressing…and talking as she talks?
There is no such thing as a ‘saved club.’ And yes…clubs are something which the kids of that other guy…not God’s kids…or followers of Jesus created. Club are dens of iniquity. The purpose for clubs is for sinners to gather like Christians go to church. But instead of worshipping and praising God…sinners go in to clubs to sin. They go looking for sexual partners…somebody to rub up against…somebody who can dance and make them look good. It is a place where they can drink and carry on…and have all kinds of loose and ungodly conversations while listening to ungodly music.
I know all about clubs because I owned one…it was a lesbian club…but I owned it nevertheless.
Tell me what real church song can you get up and slow drag to?
And clubs have almost always been for single people…somebody looking for somebody. Because most people who have somebody do not frequent clubs regularly. And do not want to hear that their husbands or wives are…because everybody knows what goes on in clubs…and why people seek them out.
So, then why would this ‘new group’ of so-called saints call it alright to party…and hangout at a club?
There are some things that some people are just not willing to give up. They want to cuss and everything else…take a look at these videos below.
One of the worst things that could have happened for some of these co-called preachers and teachers…is their decision to get into media…and put their ministry where the world can view them…so we can all see and hear them for ourselves…and come to know who is or who is not of Christ.
One of the biggest jokes…and it is really not funny. But it is the River Church in Durham, NC…where Sheryl Brady’s husband…bishop whatever his name is…can be seen turning their church service into a 3 ring circus from Sunday to Sunday…and I guess in whatever other services they may have.
Who wouldn’t go to a church where the pastor pulls out a thick wad of hundred dollar bills every Sunday…passing them out like water. Sometimes 3 and 4 of them at a time while telling people to pull out their money and bless one another with it…as he ocassionaly calls someone up and starts handing out a few notes of his own. But never the whole thing…just enough to entice his membership.
And how many of them have gotten away from you…got lost or somehow walked away from you?
Aren’t you glad it wasn’t a $5,000 pen?
What is happening to the church?
Preachers are not acting like preachers any more.
What is happening to us?
Most recently I myself had a run in with a preacher. He is currently the pastor of our church. I had noticed that he began to act a little bit too friendly towards me. While trying my best to stay away from him…he became more aggressive….blatant in fact in his actions.
When I thought I had worked out the perfect plan…this guy…the pastor…and I refuse to call him ‘our’ pastor. Well, this guy always seemed to be one step ahead of me.
When I told my son to give me the keys to the car so I could sneak out of church just before service ended…wouldn’t you know it…here comes the guy down the center aisle of the church. It was just before he was to get up and preach…and he came down the center aisle stopping at me. He bent down and rested his forehead against mine with his nose touching mine…as if we were alone and in bed together.
I was…I was totally shocked…dismayed…and angered by it. How dare this guy embarrass me like that. I was fuming…and I was so for weeks upon weeks. I could not believe such a thing had happened…and right there in the midst of the whole church while service was going on.
My son kept telling me that I was reading too much in it.
“Awh, ma…he does that with everybody.”
And if he did…then he was out of order then too…and somebody should have told him so long ago.`
How can people sit in church and allow their pastors to do whatever it is that they want without anyone questioning him or challenging him or her on it?
I had just started returning back to this church after being away…after living out of town for years. I had never really cared for this man because he had utterly destroyed our church…and everbody who hadn’t died had left it. The church was down to just about 8 members now…and my family was the only remnant left in it. And now I could understand why…clearly this preacher had over stepped his boundary…not just with me but with many others.
So following the forehead thing… I stopped going to church for a while…but God spoke into my heart and told me that I could not stop going to church…nor to allow satan to chase me out of church. So, I went back.
And this time the preacher…again before he was to preach…he came down out of the pulpit and started walking down along the one side of the church as if he were walking to the rear of the church. He stopped…and entered into my aisle where he soon took a seat right beside me and commenced to ask me for my phone number. I almost exploded. I got loud for a second then remembered that I was still in church. Then I took the piece of paper wrote it and turned away from the man…trying to ignor him as he said something else to me.
He did try to call me at least once…but I never answered. Finally, when I went to church again…just as he got up to begin preaching he stopped and began talking about how he had been trying to reach me. This mind you from the pulpit. I was livid.
Now, this was too much. This guy was beside himself and he wasn’t even trying to hide it. Funny, I am just now thinking of it…but this guy was stalking me. I could barely go into church without him doing something to embarrass me.
I went on and on for weeks about this guy…verbally voicing my anger about it. I know my son must have grown tired of hearing me complaining about this preacher and his poor behavior…but I could not help it.
First of all…this man was and is in his seventies…and though his wife was ill she was still very much alive. But I would not have wanted him regardless…as this man had known me since I was a kid. And I felt this whole thing was not only an insult to me…but to the memory of my parents.
Finally a few weeks ago I had an opportunity to confront this preacher…it was over something involving another issue…but sooner or later he was going to hear from me regarding the matter because it was eating at me. At that time I did not fail at the end of our discourse to tell him just how I felt about him putting his nasty forehead to mind and chasing behind me like he was some kind of dog in heat. Well, I didn’t quite say it that way…but I said it and got it off my chest any how. And I have not had to worry about him since…and it still feels good.
Anybody seeing any or all of that would have assumed that he and I had a relationship going on…and nothing could have been further from the truth. I do not know what could have possibly possessed him…and given him the idea that he could do such a thing to me…but he was definitely coming on strong. And the sheer thought of it made me sick to my absolute stomach.
Something has definitely happened to the church. It is doing something that my father called…‘going backwards instead of going frontward.’ The holy ground that the church once had…that it possessed and stood on…it is rapidly lossing. Too much of the changing times…excepting everything…and wanting to incorporate too many things of the world is pulling at the very fabric of the church. We are going backward…and lossing too much solid ground in the process.
Where are teachers and preachers who taught this stuff the way it used to be taught?
Since alot of people having been hitting this site to read about Ruby Dee lately…I can only assume that it has a lot to do with Academy Awards. I had read that she had gotten the nod for a nomination for a possible Oscar. Now that would have been nice, but I did not find her name anywhere on the list of Academy Nominees.
It cannot be argued that Ruby Dee is an actor’s actor. She along with a long list of outstanding black men and women certainly can be labelled ‘fine craftsmen’ in their art form…having worked in both stage and screen quietly for many years.
I often think of Lena Horne…or a Hattie McDaniel when I think of really great women actors or performers. ..like Paul Robeson…as well as Ruby Dee and others. I would have loved to have casted some of them in one of my films.
In case any of you are a budding screenwriter…here is the link for the Nicholl’s Fellowship which deadline is April 1st. And if you can’t get it together to submit something this year keep the link for next year…as it is an annual thing. You can hit the link to find out all the details. http://www.oscars.org/awards/nicholl/apply.html
Well, hope that you have enjoyed Black History Month…and learned as much as you could about some these men and woman who have melted away into our past…but should always be celebrated and their lives…work…and struggles always remind us of just how blessed we are…because of them.
And since I am ending on this note…on films and actors. I hated ‘Precious’ the movie. I found a lot of errors in that movie…technical stuff that was just hard to overlook. For 1…and I will just point out 1 thing only. Did you notice that Precious and her mother lived in an apartment building?
Then how in the world did they end up with an upstairs and downstairs in their apartment?
It was not like they were living the penthouse of some exclusive building.
And the music was all wrong…and a lot of other stuff. Okay…I said 1. But I just had to try and sneak that in.
But I did like Gabby, the young actor who played Precious. I however did not feel that the script was the very best. And though Mo’que really…really…really played her part. And she truly did…but I would hate to see an Oscar go to her.
Speaking of Mo’que while checking on something over the internet I happened to come across a note…that Mo’que herself had been a victim of incest…having been taken advantage of by her own brother. That story is in a past issue of Essence…October 2008 issue.
I had to shovel snow 3 times this week. One day twice…and it had me laid up for most of the week. But since those 2 days it has mostly been rain…and thank goodness. Because if it had been snow…the way it has been raining…night and day…they would have had to have flown somebody in here to dig us all out. We would have been buried under it.
Hope you had a good week.
I really really love winter…it is so beautiful.
Now, that would be so nice. And we could drink hot chocolate and talk about how the Republicans keep trying to hinder Obama by blocking everything that he is trying to do.
Thirthy inches of snow in New York City. Oh, wow…
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card. Thank you.
1 comment February 26, 2010