Posts filed under: ‘MUSIC‘
If ever I agree with someone I must say that I certainly agree here.
Yes, it has gone much too too too too far the way that many of the women who called themselves ‘saved’ and are a part of the gospel music world of today.
When you see Shirley Caesar dressing like a fool then you truly know something is wrong. She was a staple… a solid rock… a rock … a torch bearer. But it appears that she too is becoming carried away with the style and attitudes of the world. And it is very sad.
I have been trying to find that first dress I saw on Yolanda Adams where. It was utterly ridiculous that I wondered how in the world she had put it without realizing that THAT DRESS was certainly going to start a stir in the black Christian world. And it must truly have done so… because it is nowhere to be found on the internet.
For years now we have known that a vast majority our gospel singers were interested in crossing over into the secular world. They looked over and saw the money… the cars… the houses etc… etc… etc. But if the truth be told the gospel artist who are on top make plenty of money some demanding more than $20,000 a show.
I have paid $4,000 for an act to come in to do a prayer breakfast. Well, almost we haven’t seal the deal. I expanded it into doing a concert later that evening. Because I just could not see myself paying anyone $4,000 just to show up at our prayer breakfast… and then have to fly them in and put them up in a hotel too without getting the full benefit from my investment.
But gospel artist demand a lot of money. I once over heard my past mumbling after having brought a certain, used to be a bit heavier and fuller breast, gospel singer in. She demanded a limousine and to stay in a 5 star hotel.
They want to be treated like rock stars… super stars. Oh, they bring the anointing…
Well, some of them. But are they really worth the big ticket many of them want to demand. I think not.
But it is not a matter of the money which this blog is about… but about their matter of dress. And it speaks volumes.
The Bible tells us to ‘come out from among them.’ And ‘to be ye transformed.’
Then why are some many of our gospel artist negating ‘the word’ to want to become more and more like the world?
It is hard to believe that today we see many gospel female artists who want to dress like Lil’ Kim or Nicki Minaj.
What happen to dressing in a way becoming to a woman… not like a woman trying to sing and sell her wares too? Because that is very much what it looks like.
They are exposing their breast… their shoulders… thighs… legs…. and everything else.
They are getting implants… breast implants… hip and thigh implants etc. all designed to make them look more voluptuous. But didn’t the Bible say that a woman should be modestly dress, as not to draw attention to her body?
But the flesh is alive and well sadly in the gospel world. And it appears that the more these women show of it the happier they are about it.
I didn’t think it was robbery how Mahalia Jackson used to dress… or any of those old gospel women groups. Even Shirley Caesar… somebody I would have never believed would be trying to follow the ways of this world… is getting into the act, and looking like she enjoys it.
But if the truth be told this trend is showing up in their music too. Most the music that comes out today is just plain garbage. And I don’t know who told these so-called song writers that pulling a few words of scripture from Psalms and singing over and over and over and over and over… is really a song or song writing.
What Rev. Timothy Wright’s wife did with ‘Jesus Jesus Jesus’ cannot be duplicated. And we are told in scripture that there is nothing like the name of Jesus, and this song certainly proved that because I never have to think about the tone or key to sing it… and I feel the power in that song whenever I hear it.
But this other mess or repetitive words is just plain junk for the most part. It has no power and touches nothing down deep inside you. It is a key change after key change without any real meaning or significance… not really worth singing and definitely not much worth hearing. Because there is usually nothing to these songs at all but a waste of time.
I am sorry to see our real song writing in the gospel music world take a decline… and a back seat to this junk of repetitive words which have no anointing whatsoever… outside of Rev. Timothy’s Wright’s wife song. It is kind of odd that not much after she had written this song that that fatal accident coming from A.I.M, a Church of God in Christ convention held that year in Detroit… took place in which God took her and a grandson… and not long after her He took the Right Reverend Wright too. But what a song… and songs they left us with. And also a firm belief in God… and a knowledge that they were ‘real religious people of God’... not like many of these perpetrating gospel singers ‘wanna be’ secular people of today.
Well, God bless…. Well, it is wet here but my cousin tells me that they are in for snow today. But it is spring and we are just a couple of weeks away from Easter.
So, let me be the first to wish you a happy and safe Easter. What a grand time it is as we move forward to celebrating the purpose our Lord and Savor and… to lay down his life that he would rise again… so that we all may have a right to life over death.
Thank for reading…
Well, I hope you tell your friends, co-workers and family… everybody even the man down the street and … “pass it on… ” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2017
Add a comment April 6, 2017
THE CHANGING OF THE GUARD… THE SECULAR TAKING OVER THE CHRISTIAN WORLD… SHIRLEY CAESAR’S DRESS AT THE GRAMMYS…
Yeah, I remember the days when you could not sit in a black church with your skirt riding all the way up to your hips… not even while sitting in the back row.
But sadly those days are gone. And back in the day it didn’t matter what you were wearing in our church they trained you that you could not sit like some man in a cowboy movie… or anywhere else, and I do mean anywhere. They trained us to be ladies… and to sit like ladies.
I just recently saw a picture of 1 of our general board bishop’s wife who was sitting with her legs wide open.
And it did not matter what you had on… since in our church you were never suppose to have on pants anyway. Nor did it matter where you were. Agains, they trained us to be ladies and to always sit with our legs closed.
Sitting with your legs wide open was just not tolerated. It was not an option …nor our clothes pulled all the up on us so people could see everything we had either.
But today is a different story.
Even these preachers… young and old… are marrying worldly women who have never had any type or form of church training. Then how are they …these women to know how to train any women in the churches they are becoming the first lady of how they should carry and hold themselves… if the first lady does not know?
Oh, I see where they all have start to carry large handkerchiefs to throw across their legs now. But that can’t hide what is going on above …in the exposing of their breasts.
Everybody it seems want to be naked. I take that saying from my father… who called any woman not dressed appropriately ‘naked.’ And I guess daddy was right… because the more and more as time has progressed
the more ‘naked’ they have become.
Take long time gospel music queen Shirley Caesar at this past Grammy’s and what she was wearing. But if the truth be told Shirley’s shoulder lines have been dropping for a while.
It is 1 thing for the hot little floozies on the corner to be dressed in nothing, but to see gospel legends to begin to strut their stuff is a bit too too too much. Particularly when they are old women and women who had been highly respected in the
gospel world for years, such as Mother and Pastor Shirley Caesar.
And you have these pastors who are marrying women who they are proud to flaunt on their arm and during church services, women who look like they could be in the local club or bar… sitting on a bar stool and inviting any old body to come and taste some of their cheap goods.
I was trying to find this dress I had seen Yolanda Adams wear some years ago. It made me wonder as to whether or not she too had decided to leave the gospel world for secular music fairyland?
It is one thing when you watch the Oscars or whatever and see these women who are not saved… but when the unsaved seem to display more discretion in their dress than some of these gospel divas… then there is a problem.
How could anyone forsake such a standard and code of the church as to the proper dress of a religious or church woman. Are not these things spoken of in the Bible as to what is or is not acceptable?
So, then why would Shirley Caesar after years of covering up properly while in public stoop to what she put on for the Grammys this year. When she saw it she had to known, (1) that that dress was not first of all age appropriate for her, and (2) that it was certainly not something she should have put on…exposing her breast as it did.
For years Shirley Caesar had held up the standard for women in the gospel world. A standard she was taught by those who had come before her… and had undoubtedly been in the church in which she grew up in… as many of us had been trained and nurtured. To wear our clothes as to not intrigue anybody. Nothing hanging off your shoulders, no slits up the side, especially nothing too short or anywhere above the knee… and certainly nothing exposing our breasts.
To this very day I find it hard for me to want to walk into a church… any church with a pair of pants on. Though I only wear pants occasionally… more or less sweat pants when I do. But my training was women did not wear pants.
I was also trained that you just did not walk across the pulpit… for it was holy ground. Even if I am summon to come into the pulpit I go reluctantly… and if I am asked to say something or to speak… I prefer to do from the floor and not in the pulpit. It is not that I am not saved… but God declared certain areas in his sanctuary to be holy
or holy… where only the high priest was allowed enter. Since we no longer have those inter chambers that only the high priest could enter into… we do still have His pulpit. And it is holy.
So, when I see this trend where not only are gospel singers moving towards the secular world… just as R&B singers went towards becoming crossover artists… or better known to become pop artists. The gospel artist today are also forsaking not only their roots …their music and their original audience, which fed and celebrated them for years… and now they are casting them aside and their clothes to go half naked before the world… just like the world.
We have cast off following God… to chase mammon and all his friends.
Well, see how much music Shirley will continue sell. I don’t think it will come anywhere near what she used to do… for she has forgotten the Lord her God. And we all know how He handles things like that….
I personally do not see what is wrong with representing the Lord and/or the Kingdom of God as we should… because we honor Him. If we love Him and not the world… then why would you want to follow the ways of the world?
“Choose ye whom ye will serve.”
Well, God bless…. We’re back into cold weather now. But then it is March so it would be no surprise if between now and some time in April we get dumped with a ton of snow.
So, tell your friends, co-workers and family… everybody even the man down the street and … “pass it on… ” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2017
Add a comment March 6, 2017
I saw the video that Kim says someone took of her during a service some night at her
church, when Kim Burrell goes off the chain proclaiming her dislike of gay people… with particular reference to those in the church.
I also saw the video that Kim made backing or attempting to back away from much of what she said in that video, of her ranting about gay people. My thing in watching this video was this.
‘Kim if you really feel about gay people as you said while standing in the pulpit. Then why back down from it… if you feel that what you had said was right?’
Cause you see if I say something that I think is right… then I am not going to back down from it. Oh, I can change my mind… yes, regarding my thinking. But if I feel that I am correct in my thinking then I am not going back away from what I believe. And I don’t care who may not like it. Unless… again… if I think about it and later begin to regret what I said… or how I said it. Or I might even discover that I was wrong… because that does happen too. And has happened to me.
I mean I would be lying if I said I never regretted saying something. It happens all the time to many of us. We spoke too fast. Or mis-spoke…
But the way Kim was going on and on in that pulpit… I would have to say that she was really versing her sentiments quite definitely. And if what I heard in another video was correct… in that what that person said about her husband, whom Kim is now either divorced from or separated from for some years now… was that he was gay.
I would say that might cause a woman to go on and on about hating gays. That woman who used to sell orange juice years ago… I forget her name. She had been an ex-Miss America when she came out strongly against gay people back in the latter 70’s or 80’s… and boy did they slam her. She lost all kind of contracts behind that… and the orange juice industry was quick to get rid of her. But what a price that industry paid in revenue losses when gay people boycotted orange juice… and boycott it they did. And they won.
With regards to Kim Burrell… whom I often have found to be sharp with her tongue… I find it hard to believe that she did not think about her wardrobe person, or her make-up person, or her hair stylist or everybody else who may possibly be on her team, when she is preparing to get up to perform… because most of them are gay. But I am sure that hit home shortly after she realized that that video got out… had been uploaded on youtube, and the calls started coming in to her.
This is America and, of course, Kim Burrell like everybody else in
America has a right to an opinion on whatever she wants to have an opinion on… whether I may or may not agree with her on it.
But where I thought Kim Burrell went too far …was for her to be standing in the pulpit and talking about certain things… like men having ‘p___nis’ in their mouths. Or women with their breasts shaking in front of another woman. It was a bit too much.
Kim went overboard and that is what more than anything I believed killed her… and took away from anything that she was trying to say. She was not preaching… nor was she teaching. But Kim was spouting out vicious remarks of feelings, that maybe she had been harboring for some time and just felt it was okay… for some reason or other… to release those sentiments into the atmosphere at that time… in that church service.
I am a firm believer that the pulpit is not for all types of conversations. Nor is it a place for where we should be standing in it believing that it is okay to just say whatever comes into our narrow minds. The sanctuary and …certainly the pulpit is ‘holy.’ It is holy ground and it is not meant to be a place where we preach hate or condemnation.‘
Who are we to condemn people as though we too were not once lost in sin?
This is the problem I have with many people in the church. They act as though they were never once sinners.
And I really get tired of hearing those people who say, ‘I’ve been saved since I was 3.’
Are you really trying to tell me that since you were a child… and supposedly became saved that you never once sinned?
I will bet that you sinned more than once. And probably did things I never thought to do.
So, the devil is a liar. And those people need to stop telling that ‘I’ve been saved since’ lie.
Why do people want to pretend that they are so holy and righteous …when they are filled with such ‘high looks,’ bigotry and animosity against not just gay people… though gay people always seem to be at the top of everyone’s list… but against everybody but fornicators… adulterers… liars etc….etc…etc.. Because THAT list certainly goes further than just being gay.
Some of these same people voted Donald Trump into office and saw no sin in him. I would not have believed that either… had I not heard and seen them at our national convocation in St. Louis. It was quite disturbing to me. And a couple of them… bishops even… I had to set straight.
Speaking of bishops. Some of these very people are ‘the corrupters.’ Stealing away the lives of many of these young boys, by feasting on them sexually …while proclaiming something else in the pulpit and making jokes about ‘limp wrist.’
This thing is sad. And there are a bunch of hypocrites in the church… in the black church and white church… and everything in between.
Yeah, they can proclaim they hate them… but they lead the choir… play the instruments… sing the sermonic solo.
So, stop playing with yourself… and trying to preach hate, when their is a cleansing that needs to take place. And it is in the hearts of each and every one of us because we have been commanded to love… not condemn or chastise folk because we act like we can’t stomach their sin.
It is not for you to stomach. God who is the creator and is also the finisher. And you don’t know who he is going to clean up and place over you.
He can turn everybody around. Did He not turn you around?
Oh, I forgot. He is still working on you, Kim and everyone else who thinks like her.
I was at the convocation 2 years ago when that guy came out and started proclaiming, ‘I
ain’t gay no more.’
That whole service was like being in the midst of a comedy show. That guy from Orlando who was suppose to preach… was beside himself …just like Kim. And practically the whole area was eating it up… they were rolling over in laugher of this guys homophobic tyrants.
It was so good to them that the video department sold out of that dvd that night… and could not keep up with the demand for it. This I know not because I tried to buy it… but because the next day while waiting on my ride back to my hotel a bunch of people were still laughing over that mockery of a church service. I sat through it, yes… but it was all I could do not to get up and walk out on that guy that night. And I would have had I thought my courtesy driver was outside to take me back to my hotel.
We should stop all this ‘gay mess.’ It is not the only sin… need you think of what you are doing that God may be angry at. Because at the end of the day… that is what really should concern you more than anything else. Because when you shut your eyes… it won’t be that gay man in the choir or up the street whom you will have answer for. But your behavior towards them will surely be an issue before God.
I think we all need to read the Bible more. Because somewhere along the line you are all missing something when you attack anyone who is lost in sin.
And I think that any pastor or anyone who calls him or her self a pastor …or whatever who
invites someone to come and preach at their church and says, ‘You can come to preach but don’t mess with my sissies.’
I think that person needs to remove themselves or the church remove him or her… because they are users. But not Godly. They rather see people not hear the truth… and I am not talking about a bunch of harsh and hard words of condemnation… but ‘the truth’ as to what the Bible says because they desire that everybody in their church or under them know what God desires in order for us to sincerely get into heaven…
Let us not chase people out of the church. But let us work on trying to allow God to do His perfect work in them. The Bible says, ‘faith comes through hearing the word of God.’ They must be allow in the church… so that they do not go to ‘gay churches’ and sit up in there believing that everything is alright… and while they play church that they can make into heaven.
Let us not be that mean …or selfish. Thank God the doors of the church were open for us… or we too would still be out there doing whatever it was that we used to do. And many of you still do… if the truth be told….
Well, God bless… Well, I finally got my chance to say what has been on my mind concerning this subject. I just hope that people will come to love and respect one another and all of our differences. I hate sin and it hurts for me to see people languishing in it. I have many gay friends … and even some family members whom I know will be lost if they fail to change. But I pray that God call them out as He was so kind and gracious enough to do me. And that they have an ear to hear… and God gives them a desire to come out… and stay out.
Well, God bless… I’m out. Thanks for reading my blogs. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016
Add a comment January 9, 2017
I just happened to be on youtube when I saw this video and decided to click on it to see what Juanita was preaching about… only to be a bit surprised by her new look… and since the video was just uploaded a few days ago it is very much a ‘new look’ for her. A bit too much plastic surgery for sure… and the make-up does not help. It only makes her look worst …and again like she is in some kind of spiritual trouble.
I suspect after somewhat watching her transition into this ‘new Juanita’… the 1 before this… it is not hard to see that she has had this thing about how she looked. It appeared to be some kind of self-hate… or maybe that is too extreme. Let me say a dislike for her natural facial features.
Yes, that sounds better.
Looking at the photographs displayed at the beginning of her video… her program intro as this seems to be a new undertaking for Juanita…with her in a cap and jeans… Juanita seems be trying to recapture her youth… or some kind of teen to 21 hip look or something.
In listening to her video below it appears to me she is trying to join the ranks of Yolanda Adams… Donnie McClurkin, Kirk Franklin, Dorinda Clark and that marymary sister, Erica Campbell… on the radio air-waves with a syndicated national radio broadcast.
But being Juanita… she appears to not only be happy being on the radio air-waves… but also wants to have video live-streaming while she broadcasts her radio show. And this show… or broadcast… or this video take of it was evidently recorded with a very bad camera with terrible audio… and doesn’t appear to really be a live radio show but a pretense of doing it live in her home. Nor does it appears to be anything like the Juanita Bynum I have come to know via my observation of her. She has always been on top of her sound.
If nobody else on the podium sounds good… you can beat she is going to sound great because she leaves nothing to chance when its come the quality of her sound… which is, of course, her money maker. But no so in these videos.
Now, many thousands of people no longer go into a read radio radio to broadcast their radio shows because technology today has made it so easy to do it that way… if you have
good quality professional or semi-professional equipment… and have someone close to being a professional set it up for you. You can broadcast from anywhere in the world… even in your bathroom or a cave… and nobody will know whether it was in or out of a professional broadcasting studio.
But clearly, we can tell that this video tape was done with professional equipment …or some high level recording equipment… camera with a good mic or a mic tied in.
But it is not the technical problems with Juanita’s video … but the evident continued plastic surgery which it appears she is continuing to engage in… and her new hair that she is so busy flinging all over the place… and her body language …and total look of glee that makes you wonder… is she back on drugs?
How could Juanita possible be so happy with her new look… in looking so overjoyed while recording this video. In which in my opinion she looks far less than her normal self.
Just with all the batting of her eyes so continuously. And all her what appears continuous movements… and such personal internal glee within herself … you can’t help but wonder is Juanita herself under the spell of drug addiction which she preaches about in the first video.
After Pastor Zackary Timms being found in a New York hotel dead from a drug overdose… we should all be on the lookout for who else may be in trouble. We are so busy just listening to these folks and fail to recognize that some of our pastors, evangelists etc. are in trouble.
There were definite signs that Pastor Timms was in trouble. I can clearly say that. I will never forget seeing him 1 day leap up on his podium like he was Batman or Superman. And I recalled thinking where was the reverence to God’s altar in what he had done?
Listen how fast Juanita is talking in her video… all that hyper energy that is clearly displayed.
I once was having a conversation with someone who was talking to me about possible employment. While speaking with this person someone else was standing nearby observing this conversation. When we had finished talking and the person had left… the person who had been observing said to me, ‘Did you see how she was moving? How she never stopped moving? And how she was talking?’
I said, ‘No.’
I know nothing about addiction. Or people under addiction. But the women who had been standing watching that conversation knew plenty about it. And she began to educate me.
She started saying, ‘Didn’t you notice that she used to be a junkie? How she rushed through their words while speaking, how her eyes move? How she could not stand still or sit still
No, I had not noticed… nor did I know how to pick up on those type of things. I knew nothing about how people show signs of things of addition or past addiction… actions that are not natural for folk normally. That is exactly what I hear and see in this video of Juanita.
Juanita is not acting as she normally acts. Her actions and language are out of sync with the Juanita we see displayed in most of her videos… while delivering the word or trying to share thoughts on tv or in her other videos.
No, this is an irrational fidgety Juanita… with eyes that keep rolling and batting uncontrollably… racing through what she is speaking about. Look at her eyes. Listen to what she is saying.
Clearly, Juanita is either drunk or high… or maybe both. All that flinging of hair… particular articulation of certain words… treats of hitting somebody… fast un-expected jerky erratic movements… and just a pattern of irrational behavior for Juanita … it all clearly says Juanita is very much out of character. And her in the photo shots in her show intro at the beginning and end of her video …of her in pants and
cap looking very much like Beyonce speaks volumes also.
I am not certain that Juanita has not taken money to promote the music of the artists that she is featuring in her video shows. But she gives each song’s date when it will be able for purchase, so that might be a hint.
Okay, I’m waiting on a very important telephone call now. So, I must stop here. And I am suppose to be editing… so much for that. But I must go but you enjoy the rest of the week, and have a good weekend. At some point I hope to find time to talk about Donald Trump… what a mess this whole political cycle has become… 1 big joke if it weren’t so serious.
Well, God bless… and thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©201
UPDATE: September 27, 2016… Truly speaking Juanita Bynum is getting weirder and weirder with each and every 1 of these videos she does. Note how she grabs hold of her nose as she just finished taking a snort of cocaine or something.
This is a woman who is usually so up on the quality of everything she puts out. But all these latest videos released by her doing this ‘new thing’ lack her usual attention to detail … particularly when it comes to the audio of these videos.
In the video I just posted below she has a leg up with her legs wide open. I know …. I’m old school. But isn’t she representing the Kingdom… is there not proper protocol regarding women and how we sit when in public? And I really do not understand the new look with regard to her hair.
It really does appear to me that maybe Juanita may be on her way to a crash. She seems to be slipping… and long ago lost focus.
Add a comment September 15, 2016
Last spring while in Minneapolis I can’t feeling I was going to see Prince. I was going to see Prince… that’s all I would think anytime I was out and about during our church convention, which brought me to Minneapolis in the first place. But I never did.
While working as radio announcer I clearly remember when Prince first emerged upon the scene. He was touted then as he still is now… as a musical genius.
His first album… that’s how long ago that was. Many today have never heard of an album… and most have forgotten what they were. But on his first album Prince was the only musician. He played every instrument used in the recording of that album.
The man was brilliant at his craft and as a business man too. He was a rough negotiator who fought the record company and won… to maintain musical freedom and the rights to all his work. He was definitely not a dumbie.
I had wondered how old he was after I hear the news late yesterday evening of his passing. And I thought about Michael and Whitney… and how they had died in their 50’s… that’s when my son came in and voiced exactly what I had been thinking.
They all had died in their 50’s.
I read today that Prince was 57. Michael had just hit the bit five-‘o.’ And Whitney was in her early 50’s too I believe.
Three remarkable people musically… but dark around the edges. We are all familiar with Whitney and her battle with drugs and for happiness. And Michael’s peculiar ways… dipping and dapping into all kinds of things… and his involvement and fascination with little boy children.
Well, back in the day he was always seen with highly attractive young ladies… though he did admit in an interview to being bi-sexual. I have very deep opinions regarding people who proclaim themselves to be bi-sexual. It kind of goes in line with Biblical scripture… ‘either they will hate the 1 and love the other.’ Something is going to be more intriguing to them sexually over the other… and that is just the way it is.
In fact, I was surprise to find out that he had once married. During the early days he lived a fast life… though he always appeared to be shy and introverted… as Michael often attempted to appear as well. But I think more that a song writer Prince was a musician… and lived as 1.
Though he lived quietly and without much controversy through much of his musical career… except for moving from 1 woman friend to another… Prince managed to stay pretty much out of the limelight.
During his aging process Prince still looked pretty much the same. Though a friend told me this morning that he had had a hip replacement and a knee replacement. I guess that came from years of dropping to his knees while performing… playing his guitar and dancing like James Brown… who was 1 of Michael’s idols as well.
Well, if you are going to mimic someone… mimic the best. And James Brown was the best at what he did. Truly.
And though not well educated James… based upon his movie… was a screwed businessman. Which I guess Prince also learned to be.
In reading an article on the passing of Prince they alluded to the possibility of Prince having suffered a drug overdose. I seems to me every time a black person dies they want to tie it to drugs.
Maybe it’s true. Or maybe not. But 1 thing is for sure Prince was a decent person who gave back… and was not selfish enough to not open the door for other musicians and/or singer etc.
He refused to leave his beloved Minneapolis thereby forcing the record companies to come to him. And because he did acts like… Ready For the World… Time… Babyface and L.A. Reid… Terry Lewis and Jimmy Jam etc.. etc.. etc.. were introduced to the world.
That was a fete that not many black folk are known for… reaching back or opening the doors for others. But Prince did and there are a ton of people who can share their stories of how Prince aided them… or impacted their careers… or opened a door for them. And that truly is a great legacy.
In the end, however, there is the question of eternity. I hope as I had hoped for Michael and Whitney that Prince was able to resolved that with the Lord.
I have no doubt that Princes funeral will be filled with people whom we all know their names… there will be weeping… and fond memories… happy stories of being out on the road. Or maybe the family may chose to quietly bury him … just as he had lived.
Well, God bless… It’s Friday and I hope each of you have an enjoyable weekend.
Before closing I ran across pictures of Denise Matthews… better know as Prince’s girl, Vanity. Whom years later left the music scene and became a woman of God …while also battling A.I.D.S. Ironically, like Prince… Vanity passed as well but a few years ago… also at age 57.
Another 1 of Prince’s girl well known to us was Apollonia. She had been a former cheerleader of some major league team before hooking up with Prince. And she had won a beauty contest or 2.
Vanity often attributed her battle with A.I.D.E.S. to the life she had lived while running with Prince.
Though in life he wore platform heels to add to his short height… he sold lots of records and made lots of money. But in the end I hope his arms were not too short to box with Satan… to have ended up on the winning side.
Imagine in 3 short years Prince would have been 60. Wow…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016
Add a comment April 22, 2016
I would be the last person to criticize or make a mockery of anyone’s child, as I too am a mother of a gay child. The irony of it all is that I too was once gay… or as I like to say, ‘I was in the life.’
So, coming to grips with my son being gay should have been an easy thing for me right?
It worried me. It plagued me. And at times in the beginning shamed me. I went through the whole gambit of emotions trying to deal with it mentally. And truthfully speaking just did not want to accept it… and I still don’t but for other reasons I will get to later in this blog.
But through it all my love of my son never tethered. I have always loved him. In fact, I will go as far to say, ‘That I even adore him.’ And I have always recognized that he was a far better person than his mother.
I recall while teaching several years ago there was a young male student that sought me out to talk to me about his relationship with his family. His family was made up of Saved people who rejected him. They made him feel bad about himself and about the lifestyle he had gravitated toward. He felt trapped because he loved them… but could not deny his sexuality
He was a handsome boy… smart and I could tell that he was kind and loved his family deeply. But their feelings towards him tormented him. They were pushing him away… and out of their lives. They didn’t want him in their house. And I guess it is fair to say that the very sight of him made them sick.
What a shame. They obviously did not know …or could not see the type of person they had really birthed into this world. Because he was worth celebrating… and not rejecting.
While in the life I had encountered many gay guys with similar stories of rejection. Many covered up their alternate lifestyles… or attempted to …or so they thought. Because they did not want the rejection… someth
Many fell away from the church because the church laughed at them… made jokes about them and ‘limp wrist.’ The church turned its back on them and attempted to make them hate themselves. In response to that many became drug abuser…
started drinking heavily… and many even attempted and did commit suicide. And then there were those who broke down mentally and began having mental problems because of the rejection, and the feeling that they had let down their families.
I have seen many sad and lost gay men and women who suffered the pains of family rejection… church rejection and community rejection. In those days there were not gay people all over the TV like today… or all these Hollywood stars walking around proclaiming their gayness as we see today. Or all these anti-gay laws as we see today… or legislation of gay rights and gay marriages etc..
But back in the day there were just a lot of lost souls seeking to find themselves, who seemed to only find 1 place where they felt they really fitted… and that was in the gay lifestyle. Being gay… and I was 1 of them.
Oh, yes… I was 1 of them. I’m free today …and of that yoked of bondage that had once had me bound… but many still are lost. And because of all these new acceptances such as the changing of one’s sex… this whole thing has gotten more and more crazier. And it has fooled a lot of them into believing by doing all these crazy things they will find happiness.
The devil is a liar… and the great deceiver.
I came out of the life when S&M started to become the big rage. More and more gay people were slipping into the bondage thing… and I could just not wrap my head around that. It was not for me. I could not see me allowing anybody to tie me up or handcuff me… or otherwise rendering me helpless while they beat me and did whatever else they wanted to do to me. I could not see the intrigue in that sexually or any other kind of way.
During my time in the life there had always been cross-dressers, drag queens, transvestites etc. But this thing of wanting to become and man if you are a woman ….or a women if you are a man may not be new. But it certainly was not popular. And that is what it is today… popular. And it is very popular … as popular as people tattooing their bodies or piercing themselves all over the place.
But I did not begin this blog to really talk about any of what I just wrote. I really wanted to write about Sade’s daughter.
When I was in the life… it was Sade I longed for. She was so sexy to me. I loved everything about her… including all her music. I bought everything she put out. But then lets face it… her music was good. She was different and had a style all of her own… and I guess that attracted me more than anything else.
I will never forget that for 1 of my birthday’s a friend gave me a large framed picture of Sade, which I hung in my living room. And I would often just stare at it.
Yeah, I was crazy… in love. Sade was fine… but so was my then girlfriend, Angela. Where I would have chosen Sade… many would have chosen Angela hands down. And yes, Angela was quite beautiful. She was exotic in many ways. She had a British accent, and was part Jamaican and Chinese. And she was brilliant… and she was the person who withstood me for the longest… 10 years. She liked telling that story.
When I spoke with her last she informed me that she too had found Christ Jesus, and was reading the Bible daily. I was very happy to hear that as Angela had grown up Catholic and had very conflicting thoughts about God and religion. But there was 1 thing she had said about me… she knew even then… that 1 day I would become woman of God. I guess there was something about me… and it had to do with my training. It was the fact that I grew up in the church… and that training kept me from crossing certain lines… such as drinking or doing drugs… or smoking etc. Where many had been rejected I was not because I did not look a certain way. I could pass… and no one except keen women who were also in the life could spot me.
But I did not cuss or live a riotous life… and I knew nothing about living badly, as my parents were real church people… loving and caring… and giving unto others church people. So, they were my role models… and there was 1 thing about them. They never ever spoke to me about being gay… and I never ever flaunted anything like that in front of them… though they never restricted me in being me.
So, Sade’s daughter is gay. And by looking over the pictures of her and her daughter I can tell that Sade, who took time off from her career as a recording artist for a few years to give birth and begin raising her daughter… that Sade never once thought to reject her daughter.
Seeing pictures of Michael Jordan and his daughter, Jasmine…he too seems to be an accepting father of his child. She is quite attractive… they both are Michael’s daughter and Sade’s daughter. And Magic’s son, Erwin… after having lost over a hundred pounds is quite handsome himself.
Many people can’t deal with sexuality issues and their children. Everybody at some point has had to battle through something. Many adults … parents often forget the headaches they caused their parents… and the many sleepless night they took their parents through when it comes time to deal with their own children.
In life people are always in a state of transformation. Their taste in food changes… clothes changes… thoughts on various subjects change… and they change… they mature… they gain wisdom… and if all goes right they discover who they really are. This is why I am so anti-sex changes… because I understand clearly the changes that people go through from their early stages to their latter stages… and no one is ever the same or thinks the same way.
I sometimes go back and look up old gay friends on Facebook and I can truly say… I am so thankful that I am no longer in the life. They seem so old to me… so sad… and seem to not have grown. We look different… them and me. But then the hand of God is upon my life and has always been.
As Sade’s daughter travels through this life it will be interesting to see the changes and turns her life will too take… as well as Michael Jordan’s daughter and Magic’s son. There is this old song that Donny Hathaway used to sing called ‘Everything Must Change.’ And it goes on to say ...’nothing remains the same.’ That is BUT ‘God.’
And the great thing about God… He loves us all… no matter what pit we happen to fall in. And He is able to reach down and bring us all out.
I no longer fantasy over Sade. Nor do I listen to her music. I’m on a different path… and as my parents prayed for me… I too pray for my son that God does the same for him as He did for me. And I pray for my friends and the many many many others who are lost. It doesn’t matter what they may or may not be in… but if they are not walking in the steps which God has ordered then prayer is the most powerful tool we can use to help… with the hope that God too will favor them and call them out from among them.
God bless… I’ve got to get out of here now. Somebody is probably going to write me saying I thought this blog was supposed to be about Sade’s daughter. And to a degree it was…
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Add a comment April 20, 2016
To tell you the truth I really don’t know much about her but…
Well, I had heard she won Sunday Best and I have seen a few videos on youtube of her, but other than that I have really had not had much to say about her. But then this new show came along this fall on 1 of the networks, Preachers of Atlanta.
After watching a couple of episodes of it and then listening to some reviews of the show on youtube… and watching Le’Andria let down her hair. And I do mean…’let down her hair,’ with a for real ‘I just do not care what you think attitude.’
All I can say is, “Uh-uh…”
While I was no big fan of the original, Preachers of L.A. with all their ‘bing-bing,’ and money being their god. With Detrick Haddon trying to pretend he so Saved and holy, to Bishop Noel Jones and his supposed 16 year old relationship with some woman, whom he may or may not have been going to bed with,
along with that young girl, or much younger women whom he supposedly made pregnant.
But this Preachers of Atlanta is a subtle destruction of the church. These pastors, on the Atlanta version, seem to be a little bit more palatable…with their pretense of ‘We love god…but are a new generation.’ Don’t be fooled. They are even worst… but playing on the down-low like they are not. But that it is all for God.
Who ever the producers are of these shows….they are bent on destroying the church by showing proof of everything sinners already believe to be true of the church. Their goal it appears is to not only make a mockery of the church, but in particular ‘the black church’… by tearing it apart bit by bit and stone by stone. And Le’Andria Johnson is their best candidate yet. Well, maybe not their best… because those preachers out of LA… did a job on the black church too… sad to say.
But this woman, La’Andria, is crazy and not shame about it… or to be crazy. She has a perfectly good excuse for why she decides to do… and does everything she do and does.
She drinks…. and can often be seen with a cup in her hand. She swears like a sailor when she gets a notion, as in her ‘periscope’ upload, where she removed the make-uP…and was talking about being evicted from her house. She has a very ungodly no-holds-barred attitude about everything… and a highly filthy mouth.
There is no possible way I could or can believe that Le’Andria is really Saved.
I also think she needs to be a lot more thankful to God for the wonderful gift He so graciously endowed her with. And then He opened the door for that gift to shine… which she so willingly is making a fool and mockery of.
All of these singers today it the charts and the next thing you know they are walking around and calling themselves ‘pastors’…. and in the case of Kim Burrell ‘bishop.’ Personally, I don’t understand it. But when I thought about it Andrae Crouch did it and I guess a few others.
But I just thought I would do this really quick… and I did. Because this thing with Le’Andria Johnson and Preachers of Atlanta has been on my mind.
It really disturbs me to see the church… and particular the blackchurch being pulled apart in such a way as I am seeing in these shows. These programs are really undermining the fabric of the church and give an illusion that all black churches and/or churches are corrupt and/or filled with leadership which should not be in leadership… fake people pretending to know Bible and to be doing the will of God when they are really just agents of the devil seeking to destroy the church.
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Add a comment March 3, 2016
Truthfully speaking I fail to see why black folk are starting to jump on this band wagon?
I think we watch far too much TV and salivate far too much over all these so-called stars on these reality shows, who now seem to be creating a new standard as to what black folk should look like… by spending big bucks to go up some plastic surgeon to supposedly make them look like whatever they envision in their heads what they want to look like… down to skin color and everything else.
From NeNe Leakes on down it is far too much. I happened to catch her just the other day on 1 of those networks where people sell their wares… and her hips were far too out there. And I think she added lips, had her nose fixed, put in more boobs etc… etc… etc…
Why would I want to do that to myself?
First of all you have to consider that your body is in a consistent state of transitioning. Your body never stands still. Your face does not look the same as it did when you were ‘say’ 5 years old. Your nose changed… eyes changed… your lips may have become fuller or more drawn out… but it is not the same and won’t be same when you hit 70… if you happened to be blessed enough to see 70 or 80. Because we are continuously changing in terms of our shapes and sizes …and looks and even our heights. Our body does not stand still and nor does our faces or our boobs …or the lack thereof.
My son and his friends love Tamar Braxton… but what is real about her face. She looks fake… and I think she added boobs and the works too.
So, you guys look at this stuff now and say, “Oh, wow…”
But I wish I could put up on my Facebook page of a picture of the woman who used to be a beautician who decided she was going to get some work done to her body. It left her paralyzed and unable to work …or to do much of anything else and looking like a disaster. That’s her is this picture here.
I never really liked what I looked like either… but then who really does as we are growing up?
But I have never been into ‘self-hate’ and that is what I think of people who go out and destroy themselves believing they can create through the help of a plastic surgeon a ‘better them.’
There was a time when we used to scoff at people who went out to see plastic surgeons to have work done to themselves. We laughed at people like Michael Jackson for bleaching their skin… changing their noses … or Janet having a rib removed. But now black folks are running out like crazy and spending tons of money …on these wacko doctors or so-called doctors… better known as plastic surgeon to get all kinds of work done to themselves from belly tucks, cheekbones added, lipsuction, noses done, jawbones adjusted… etc… etc… Michael even had a clef added to his chin.
And now this… ATLANTA PLASTIC.
All the wrong things are glorified in our culture today. Just look at the mess that many people are in with all that tattooing. So many of them have gone so overboard with it they look like Satan worshipers... which many may well be.
The same thing could be said about piercing… not just your ears but everything else and in between.
It is really far too too too too much.
And here comes ‘ATLANTA PLASTIC’ to put the final nails to the coffin.
The purpose of this show is merely to glorify an already very growing trend among black folk today. And it is not just in the secular world but also in the gospel and Christian world as well. Pastors, gospel singers, evangelist etc… etc… etc.. are all indulging in fixing something about themselves from lightening their complexions to reconstructing their faces. That Paula White you can’t even remember what she used to look like… but it sure wasn’t what she looks like today. Juanita Bynum is another 1 who has hadtremendous work done on her face. Bishop Paul Morton’s wife lightened her skin and did some other things to her face like fixed her nose. That T. L. Penny …lighten herself, added boobs and did some other things too. Kirk Franklin is said to have had some work done on his face. And the list goes on and on and on and on…
And this show coming onto TV is going to push those numbers even further… and that is exactly what it has been produced to do… to create a desire in highly impressionable viewers to rush out and get some plastic surgery done on themselves too. And hopefully… I guess the show wants them to be willing enough to make trips down to Atlanta to get it done. So, look out for them to be pushing the doctors and exactly what they are supposedly experts at doing.
But I would say don’t fall for it. There are things in life we are just made to endure… and becoming a mother causes some leftover tell-tell factors on our bodies… but does that mean we should seeking to bring our bodies back to what it may have been and looked like before that 4th child?
I think not.
Recently I saw Salt and Pepa on an interview and I was shocked to see that Pepa… whom I always thought was beautiful… and ‘I LOVE PEP.’ But I saw that she too had gone up under some surgeon’s knife. I won’t say what I thought of the after effects because I have always liked Pepa… she’s a very nice person but I really wish she had not gone to see any surgeon regarding her face… even with age she had to look better than what that surgeon left her.
Not really a big reality TV fan… or much of a television watcher anyway… I have no real idea of what Tamar used to look like but I can see that down to their mother they have all gone under the knife… including Toni.
I wouldn’t play with my face or body like that. There are far too many disaster stories out there for me to consider going up under some plastic surgeon’s knife to cut or change anything about me artificially. And I am a believer ‘if you are not sick… stay away from doctors… because they will make you sick if you don’t.’
And when it goes wrong… it goes wrong. And there is no way to correct it after you and they… those plastic surgeons have messed you and your body up.
Talking about reality shows… since the 2nd episode of ‘PREACH’ I have yet to see any more episodes. Did I just happen to miss them or was that show dropped following the first 2 screenings of it on TV?
Well, God bless…. it Friday and I haven’t really been all that busy this week, but I am now beginning to get back into the throws of things. And it feels good.
I bought myself a blender off of 1 of those shopping networks. So, I am shifting my eating habits a bit. When I get out of here I’m going to go buy me some more bananas… or sometime this weekend. I got a couple of whole pineapples and a can of peaches I’ve been looking forward to mixing up with some crushed ice… which my blender is quite capable of doing just fine. And I am going to kick up my heels and enjoy the weekend… and I sincerely hope you do the same.
But I do not want to get out of here without making mention of Sandra Bland or Sam Du Bose… 2 very sad situations in the unnecessary deaths of yet 2 more black folk. Of which I am highly sadden by… and question… and pray comfort and justice to their families… though nothing can give them back what they have lost and that is their love ones senselessly…
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Add a comment July 31, 2015
Come on isn’t there more to concentrate on… like feeding the hungry and clothing the poor… to take time out to agree with some lunatic pastor who decides he’s tired of people falling asleep on him… so he steps down out of his pulpit to confront a sleeping man.
Personally, some pastors feel a little too much about themselves …like they were made king over a kingdom rather than a pastor over a congregation. And as king they feel that everything is subject to them and their every wish and desire… and sadly enough almost everybody in the congregation is to blame for this haughty and arrogant attitude that many pastors come to have over their congregations.
The pastor that had the hissy fit began by first stating that he was ‘important.’ Poking himself in the chest he said, ‘I’m important.’
Okay… that tells you something right there. Because he considered himself important… more so than God and certainly more than what he was saying ‘which should have been his delivering the word’... but HE was important. From that point on he… the pastor was out of order… and definitely not in the will of God, who calls upon us to act in all ‘meekness’ and ‘humbleness.’
So, in that pastor’s selfish pursuit to have ‘everybody’s attention’ on him and him only he steps down out of his pulpit… disrupts his own Sunday morning service to rebuke a person in his congregation for sleeping. And this is what Marvin Sapp says every pastor has a responsibility to do…. ‘because they are responsible to God for their members.’
Hog wash, Marvin Sapp. And it is a clear misunderstanding of scripture by tying together a string of scriptures on Marvin’s part, in an attempt to make it appear scriptural that what that pastor did was right and in alignment with God, when he stood up in the middle of the church service to rebuke a church member for sleeping.
Scripture is not made to make us embarrass… or for anyone to embarrass us. In fact, in many scriptures it speaks of ‘be thou not ashamed…’ whether it be the gospel of Jesus Christ… or of God… or of the Word of God and His commandments or how we are to live and carry ourselves etc..
God chastises us for many reasons… but He is not going to waste His precious time to get after us about falling asleep. He is much too busy for that. And nowhere in the Bible has He or anyone else ‘ever’ done that to anyone… though Jesus did get after Peter and John when he left them to go up and pray and came back to find them sleeping… and though we are told that Paul was long winded and someone did fall asleep on him. But the guy was fool because knowing his habit of dozing off …he sat in a window fell asleep and fell out the window. But no where in that story does it say that man was rebuked for having fallen asleep.
In fact, the story where the man falls out the window the story appears to sympathize with the man by preferencing the story by telling us from the very start that Paul was subject to being very long winded.
Marvin Sapps remarks on socialcam: https://socialcam.com/v/srbPCGkT
What in the world is Erica trying to do in this video?
What is godly about it?
These type of songs and videos are generated to appeal to a certain audiences… but can’t break any yokes… or deliver anybody from anything… or speak into the heart of anyone… or do anything but as in this song… make a mockery about really loving God… who requires that we don’t come to Him just any kind of way.
God just does not accept any ole thing… any ole way….
Oh, well I guess that is it for me today. Hope your day is going along well and everything… and I do mean… ‘everything’ is good with you.
Well, God bless…. I’m gone. I’m starting to get hungry now. Didn’t really eat anything last night. Wasn’t hungry… but now I could devour a horse. : )
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Add a comment July 14, 2015
His name is B. Scott and he classifies himself as being androgynous… kind like what Michael wanted to be… somewhere between being male and female.
I have seen few people who have pretended to be as happy as B. Scott pretends like he is. When I was in ‘the life’ I thought I was happy too. But I never pretended like I was over joyed with it. Over a period of time I just came to accept it… which I guess if you finally settle upon ‘this is who I am’ you tend to do. You just start to kind of accept it. Which is what B. Scott said he finally came to do.
Though I have seen thousands of gay guys and women who acted like they were super dupper happy being gay. I had also seen them …many of them in the tears because they wished they could be like everyone else.
When I watched this video on YouTube by B. Scott… the 1 below… it really prompted me to write this blog. Because there were a few things that he said that really gave me insight as to who he is… and why.
(I’ve got to find the right video) But in the YouTube video B. tells of how people used to say to him when he was a little boy, ‘You so pretty you should have been born a girl.’
In hearing that it made me think of my son, who at the age of 13… 1 day broke down and started crying saying to me that I would never be a grandmother. Then he said that he must be ‘gay’ because everyone told he that.
How could I defeat what he was saying?
At the time I was not saved. I was speechless and did not know what to say. I was shocked.
I must confess to being 1 of those gay mothers who was seriously homophobic… terribly. But I never pushed my thoughts nor my fears over onto my son. Well, I hope not… certainly never intentionally. But there was a period in my life when he could nothing right. I hollered at him about everything. I did not realize that I was doing that though until a woman who was part of my film shoot on my short film… a niece to Florida of ‘Good Times’… pointed it out to me and talked to me about it. She said, ‘Why are you always yelling at him?’
I never realized that I did. But I am glad she brought it to my attention. I might have drove my son away… but thank God that did not happened. That big headed boy took me out to dinner last night… to very expensive sea food restaurant that we both like. But I do not love him because he treats me to thing… or buys me stuff… I love him because he is ‘my son.’ And I thank God for him.
I had never heard anyone call him that… that word… ‘gay.’ Though I think they were careful not to do so while I was around… as I would not have liked it. Though I must say that at an early age I started to feel like I was seeing certain signs of it. But here is where I want to tell you how the devil works.
You are not seeing anything that the devil has not put in your mind. Your young children know nothing about sex… but the devil will toy with your brain and make you believe you are seeing things which are not there.
You don’t believe me????
Let me share with you this. One night while in my apartment in downtown Brooklyn…. as I was leaving the living room to go towards my bedroom I looked down at the floor. Upon looking down I saw the floor was covered with large water bugs everywhere. I mean swarming with them everywhere. I quickly looked up and said to myself, ‘the devil is a liar.’
I don’t know where that came from… but that is what I said. Then I looked back down at the floor and there were no water bugs anywhere. It had all been a figment of my imagination… brought about from the devil knowing that I had a fear of those things. Which came about by the fact that occasionally I would see a water bug in my apartment… something that my landlord refused to believe.
But that night the devil had decided that he was going to drive me mad… meaning crazy by presenting to me a ton of those horrible things crawling all over my apartment floor around me… and they covered my entire apartment floor. But I did not go crazy. God kept my mind… because He did not let me fall for it. I merely shut my eyes for whatever reason… (as I did not know it was God’s doing at the time)… I just started believing that they were not there. You would have had to seen them. They were so real.
This is how I know that people can see things… which look as real as anything you can touch or feel… and it not really be there. It was just something that the devil presented to me… and had made it appear real to me because he knew I was afraid of those things. Of which New York seems to me have quite a few of them.
The woman in the above link killed her 4 year old son because she believed he was gay. The devil truly had her mind that she would have done such an insane thing. But he does and can plants seeds in your head… and make you see and hear things which are not really there. And if you are not careful… and you let them take root in you… you will believe what the devil has planted and will act out in whatever way he wants you to.
What does having a jump rope in your hand have to do with being gay?
So, what if a little boy wants to jump rope. It does not mean he wants to grow long hair and become a girl.
But my friend did not realize that she was planting seeds… that 1 day would grown into just what she was asking for.
I had wanted to badly to tell her that what she and other members in her family were doing to him in regards to calling her grandson a ‘girl’… or saying to him had some ‘girl in him’ was wrong. But I knew they would not listen to me… so I did not. But now in hindsight I realized I should have tried …if for no other reason other than for her grandson’s sake.
We must speak LIFE to your children. And do not let anyone speak DEATH to them… not even in joking. Calling your boy child a girl is speaking death to him… or your girl child a boy. Don’t do it. Encourage them to have fun… let them enjoy themselves as children without you putting all your own sexual hangups upon them.
So, when I watched and listened to the above video of B. Scott I realized just how he had come to be and why. I understand him… not so much because of what my son had said to me. But because I understand how little children can become confused as to who they are if people keep pushing them in some other direction by saying ignorant things to them that makes them believe what people are saying about them. And I guess that does kind of fit directly with what my son had said to me.
My entrance into ‘the life’ was very different… it had nothing to do with anyone calling me a ‘boy.’ Because frankly I never looked like 1… nor did I ever want to be 1. Though I wasn’t much of a baby doll playing little girl either. I don’t think I tried climbing trees… but I did try my hand at trying to fix a couple of things when I was young.
But being the oldest my youth was superseded by my having to learn how to do things at an early age… like washing dishes. I do not know how old I was when my father pushed a chair up to the kitchen sink… but that was the beginning of my years of me being our family dishwasher. Then I was taught how to cook… and the list goes on and on…
I was introduced to sex at a very early age. Not via any family members but outside of our home. Only twice had it happened. But it happened before I had a voice or knew I had a voice or any idea of what was happening. That is not to say I was an infant. I was just a very young innocent child of maybe 6…7… or 8. And the 2 times it happened they happened at varying times… not close or together. Maybe a year or so apart… can’t remember that part.
I made mention on 1 of the times in 1 of my other blogs not so long ago. It was a time that I almost got gang raped… but God said ‘no.’ That was the first time that someone took advantage of me. But those 2 experiences marked my life forever… and how I think and feel about people who take advantage or abuse children.
But contrary to what many people may say or think… sexual preference many times may not have anything to do with what you were indoctrinated to… or let me say it this way first introduced to sexually.
Though I have spoken to many gay guys and they had the opposite experience… and some women too. It did lead them into a life of homosexuality. And a lot of times it happened to them with someone who took advantage of them sitting in some position in the church… lived in their apartment building… was a close friend to their mother or father… and ‘yes’ even sometimes it was a relative… or a daughter or a son of the 1 their parent’s friend. One of my times was such a case as that. My mother must have known… as she never went to visit that friend ever again.
But going back to this guy B. Scott in watching his videos I felt sorry for him… because I understood him in ways that many people will never get to. And I also recognized his gaiety… or supposed happiness… really to be his sadness.
Love you, B. Scott. And hoping that 1 day God will do a work in your life like he did in mine. I hope the same for my son…. and the many sons and daughters dealing with identity problems… issues… or sexual confusion.
And I hope your laughter and smiles will become ‘real’… and turn into a joy that surpasses all understanding 1 day.
And that 1 day you will look into a mirror and see how really handsome you are… and start loving the ‘real’ you’ and not that the ones who were agents of devil told you were… but who God really made you to be.
Well, God bless…. I am really supposed to be doing something else right now. But I just wanted to take the time to do this blog really quickly. I hope that it falls upon fertile ground…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
2 comments April 17, 2014
Personally I have never quite understood the hype over Beyonce. I have seen a million and 1 sisters who can look or do look just like her… including 1 of my nieces.
Okay, then you want to say it is the way she can dance.
Please… What is she doing?
Nothing… that she has not copied from some Jamaican gals who have been jingling and shaking their stuff for quite some time now. And on Labor Day in Brooklyn you can catch as many as your eyes can see walking up Empire Blvd doing just that during the Jamaican Liberation Parade.
Empire Blvd becomes a haven of men with their eye bungling out of their heads at a bunch of young and old Jamaican women making their way up the Blvd in a parade shaking every piece of flab they’ve got… and a lot of it you don’t want to see.
Going back to Beyonce… it appears her following has developed into some worshipers… calling Beyonce a ‘deity.’ And they have developed their own church down in Atlanta, called THE NATIONAL CHURCH OF BEY.
If nothing else it should be crystal clear to you by this time that we are truly living in last days and times. And the evolution of Beyonce into a ‘god’ or ‘goddess’ can certainly be looked upon as a clear sign that Satan is busier than ever… and that there are some crazy folks out there.
“We are very disappointed in the failure of the public to recognize the existence of a divine Deity walking among them,” said the church’s founder Pauline John Andrews. This woman must be the supreme witch of the group as she is the founder of such a ludicrous religious start-up group of the Beyonce worshipers. I have heard of die hard fans… but this?
Come on… Why would some woman want to worship any other woman in the way that makes a religious goddess out of her?
Something is definitely wrong with that woman. And undoubtedly Beyonce is getting a charge out of… meaning she is loving it.
How do you become so taken with someone that you want to worship them?
Though I have heard of loving people to death. But this is beyond loving someone… even to that length. To death. Here the woman loves her unto heaven.
Now, how stupid is that?
And from what I hear Beyonce and her hubby are in their own diverse religion… that illuminati mess. Jay-z says he believes in 1 God… but not in hell. He does not believe in Christianity… meaning he does not believe in Jesus. That should speak volumes in of itself to many of you.
But going back to Beyonce… Oh, I have heard it said in movies… when men or women desire someone so much sexually that they will tell someone anything… even that they want to worship them. But before the end of the movie… the worship is all over and so wasn’t all that hot and heavy sexual desire that inspired those words.
I have heard too that Atlanta has a lot of strange things… and things Satanic going on. It can’t be that far behind New York City then… because I know for sure that New York has all kinds of crazy things going on.
I was very surprised 1 night when a very attractive black woman, well attired, very professional looking… walked into Salsa-Soul Sisters and began talking to us about S&M. It wasn’t until she pointed it out that I even noticed that she was dressed in all leather…black all leather… or maybe it was gray. But it was all leather. She called herself ‘1 of the leather people.’
I never knew much about S&M but that night I got a very in-depth lesson of what was supposed to be the ‘joys of being involved in S&M.’ Now, if you can get to that you might be a better person than me. No, a bigger fool than me… because can’t nobody tell me somebody standing over me while I am all handcuffed and tied up…being whipped by that person standing over me… with a whip or beating me with a belt buckle… can give me any joy. No, that you cannot tell me. I know much better than that. And I also knew something that I do not believe that woman ever recognized if she is still alive. And that is… that at any moment 1 of those fools could be subject to torture her to death… but even that thought might have been pleasurious to her.
Evidently, that woman had not processed that thought. For the woman claimed that she got pleasure out of what those S&M people had taught her and done to her. And she said she got mad at her friends because they had waited until she was 50 years old to introduce her to that lifestyle… and it is very much a lifestyle.
That woman also shared with us that night at Salsa-Soul Sisters that there was a restaurant in Manhattan that at a certain time of night shut it doors and locked them… and then the fun (if you care to call it that) began.
I was horrified when she told us that. Who would have ever had thought such a thing.
Full of people who were all into S&M?????
And all waiting on the clock to tick until they all got started on 1 another.
That woman also picked up what looked to me like a notebook jacket… and she pointed out that it bared the S&M flag. They had their own flag… a nation of people unto themselves. Who would have thought it.
It makes you wonder how large could that thing be?
Large as it may be… it was not going to get me. And I appeared to be the only person at Salsa that night who totally rejected anything that woman had said.
I found no part of it interesting or tempting. But some of my fellow Salsa-Soul Sisters did… and I could tell. Some time later… the 1 who had appeared the most interested in it that night… I came across a few years later. She was all dressed up in leather… I knew what course she had chosen.
Then there was another Salsa-Soul Sister who had become part of a religious group in New York called Isis. In fact, a few of the gay sisters I knew got involved in that religion. I recall 1 night this particular sister had given this party over at her home down in Riverside. She was dressed all in white, and as I came in her house I started to reach over to embrace her in greeting her… and she backed away keeping me at a distance without really touching me …talking about she had not yet gone over.
Gone over what???
Later a friend told me that the woman… our Salsa-Soul Sister had gotten involved in this Isis religion and that she was going through some type of purification ritual. Why this woman became involved in that Isis stuff was a mystery to me as she always seem so afro-centric… and also smart. Needless to say I soon began to think of her as anything but smart. She became odd and started acting funny… weird.
This guy… obviously gay… and as gay as he could be… moved into an upstairs apartment in her home. While at work… we later found out… her girlfriend would go upstairs to him. At the party it was pretty obvious that there was something going on between them. She kept dancing all up on him like she was crazy. And later on the woman ran off with this obviously gay man… who was the head of their religious cult.
In looking up that Isis mess… just now… it says that Isis was a goddess of Ancient Egypt and the religion spread through Greco-Rome.
Then not too long ago while listening to the news, I believe, I heard of this church where the congregation went to church nude… totally nude. They worshiped in their church naked. And I had seen on 20/20 or something a while back about some church where they were snake worshipers. They dance and pranced around their church twirling snakes.
While in the library 1 day a young woman came and sat down beside me at a computer. After a small amount of time I noticed that the woman was wiping tears from her eyes. Shortly thereafter I decided I should speak to her to see if I could help. That is when she told me she was running for her life from some religious cult she had fallen into while living in Atlanta. She was all messed up. Jumping at her own shadow… because she was full of fear… saying the cult people wanted to kill her because she wanted out.
So, my point here is this… there are lots of crazy people around the world seeking to worship all kinds of things if somebody is crazy enough to come up with it. And the group of people deciding that Beyonce is holy and should be worshiped is about as crazy as any of them can come… maybe worst. And certainly to me… is as insane as anyone can get who joins them.
And there is 1 thing for sure… somebody may get mad at me for saying it. Because people like to say that we should not condemn others. I do not believe in condemning anyone… and it is not condemning if you speak the truth, particularly if you are attempting to warn them… better yet show them the errors of their ways. However, there are many people who have no problem in condemning themselves to hell… and somebody needs to tell them so.
Therefore, people involved in S&M, Isis, Beyism, Muslim-ism, Buddhism, Hinduism… or any other kind of -ism and everything and anything else that is not like Jesus and God… nor of His doing. They will go straight to hell… and I did not condemn them there… but their acts did.
However, it is not the desire of God that any of us should be lost. But due to foolishness most people will be lost. I pray you won’t … or me. But how are you going to turn a woman into a god and become a worshiper of her… and not think that something is wrong with you… is my question?
Beyonce cannot do anything for anyone… like heal someone… save someone from hurt… harm or danger… illness… disease… or any kind of enemy including the devil. In fact, she is in as much of a need God as we all are. And I hope she and her worshipers find Him before it is too late.
My Lord… have mercy.
Then I happened to catch a video segment from the MaryMary reality TV show where the 2 sisters, Erica and Tina… are having a ‘for real’ conversation. Somebody should have called for the cameras to be cut off. Because the words started flying ‘God-Dang’ world??? Erica got beeped… who knows what she said. And I am not trying to figured it out… or even read lips.
We have all heard that the gospel world is not what we all thought or think that it should be when it comes to the language and behavior of some of the people walking around saying they love the Lord… singing gospel music… and that live lives that speak something totally else.
One of the worst things that could have happened to some of these people is reality TV. They don’t know how to stay off of it. Stuff slips… and everybody sees or hears something that wasn’t supposed to be seen… or heard… or hinted at. Then again drama sells… and keeps the ratings coming.
One of the biggest disasters is that boy… Deitrick Haddon. Nobody can tell me he is really saved. Somebody is going to be mad cause I called him a ‘boy.’ Don’t send me any more comments professing to me about how cruel and ungodly I am… and how much of a man of God Deitrick is.
That boy is not saved and not trying to be. If I wasn’t much of a lady I would post a picture of his lower half which evidently he is very proud of. The internet is loaded with pictures of the boy’s penis… and he didn’t release that picture or those pictures some 10 or 20 years ago. No, it was while he was supposed to be ‘Saved’… while he was a recognized gospel artist… while he was still married to 1 woman while showing his stuff to another …or who knows how many others. And all this I guess while he had taken over the leadership of his father’s church upon the passing of his father. I suspect those people must have put him out… and he deserved it.
We are living in a time when some folks have figured out how to get more exposure… any kind and any way they can. They make sex tapes… send out instagrams of pictures they claim they didn’t send… or this they get arrested or shoplifting or while driving drunk etc.. It worked for Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Brandy’s little brother, Lil’ Kim, R. Kelly, Puff Daddy and the list goes on and on…
You cannot tell me that if you are a recording artist or a movie star or a wanna-be that you have not figured out that sending pictures of your naked sexual organs or videotaping yourself involved in some sexual act… that you don’t know it won’t find its way to the public eye. It has happened far to many times for anybody to do it… and not do it with the intention that it is going to viral… where everybody and their brother and mother is going to see it.
Some do it to revive a fading career. Others to jump start a career in the spotlight… news… or gain a reality show etc…
When my son told me this story I was on my way to St. Louis… and he mentioned to me how this gospel singer by the name of Kevin Terry had a videotape leaked with him down on his knees… and he wasn’t praying. But giving some man a blow job. I never saw the video but while in St. Louis I mentioned it a couple of times… and I know for sure that others saw it.
This Kevin had ties with our boy Deitrick whom I do believe has some issues in the same department. I often realize something that goes over the top of the heads of most other people.
What I have realized is this… that a lot of time you will find men on the down-low who appear to be crazy about women. That is because that is what they want you to believe. They act like they want to sex down everything but the tree when it comes to women… while all the while hiding what they really like and with who. It is a game that they play to throw people off from thinking that they are really gay.
I know I’m going to get some comments about this… but so be it. I really do get tired of these so-called gospel ‘I love Jesus’ artists… who are more sinful that Joe Small out on the street corner selling drugs… or pimping girls or whatever. They have a semblance of holiness… but they are not holy. And I don’t care how many gospel songs they write …or sing.
And I get tired of people trying to make saints out Steve Harvey and Tyler Perry. Come on now…
Have you heard how Steve curses?
There has got to be a line… some kind of a line somewhere.
Why does everyone want to make people holy just cause they like them… or they find them to be funny… or they write Jesus into their plays… or tell church jokes from time to time?
I do not hate either Steve or Tyler. And I would never be jealous of anyone’s success… but in the same token success does not mean ‘godly’ just because they are successful… and happen to utter the word ‘God’ once or twice.
I have a cousin who totally blew me off when I told her I was not really a fan of Tyler Perry’s plays or movies etc. They were something I just was not interested in. Boy, did she call me everything but a child of God. She said I was bourgeoisie… I was a hater… and I was this… and I was that.
Man, what did I do?
I am sure that I have work that Tyler won’t like either. But it would not mean he hated me. Needless to say I have not talked to that cousin since. Not because she said all of what she said regarding Tyler… but because she called me ‘light.’ I don’t want or like people to call me ‘light.’ I hate it… and I am not really ‘light’… I am brown… black through and through. But let me go back to my blog topic….
The Bible tells us that we have to ‘put off the old man.’ We become brand new. Our language is new… how we dress is new… how we walk and talk is new…. how we think and behave is new. Many of these so-called people… many pastors and bishops… evangelists etc. included they have not lost that old man… he’s in the closet and peers out when the coast is clear. And they do what they do… believing nobody is going to find out… until somebody lets the cat out of the bag.
You can’t condemn someone who condemns them-self. The Bible tells us to judge them by their fruits. I would not believe that would be in the Bible if we are to be blind by the ways and the wills… and ways of people.
I am not gay bashing as that would be ridiculous for me to do… having come out of ‘the life’ myself. Though I hear we can be some of the biggest critics of it. But I would not do that. Least way I hope that I would not… even if I hadn’t come out of ‘the life.’
But I really think that my thoughts today come out of me recently coming in contact with someone who supposedly is in the church but living or trying to live his life as a woman.
Yes, I did say… trying to live his life as a woman in the church. The guy looks some what like a woman to most people I guess. But I noticed right off that something was out of sync about him. No matter how much they try whether it be the arms… the adam’s apple or their legs… body structure or something else… No one can truly wipe away totally who they really are.
And let me just say here and now before I forget it… our God does not make mistakes.
Evidently, this guy had taken the pills…not the 1 in this picture but the 1 that I am talking about having just met. His voice sounds very much like a woman and if you didn’t notice certain things about him… he could easily past as woman to most people hands down. But I came out of ‘the life’ so I would be subject to pick up on certain things that most people simply do not catch… as I had come to know a lot of gay guys… many of whom were my friends. I know them for the most part to be highly fantastic people… highly creative… kind and giving… so not so kind… but many of them loving the Lord.
What I do not like though is this… it is about the kind of people who move far away from home so people won’t know who they are and can’t recognize them as being so-and so’s son or daughter. They assume another life and identity as whatever role they are playing… be it either a man or a woman… walking around tricking …or a better word ‘fooling’ people. Or attempting to fool people. No, I do not like this kind of people… at all.
They have eaten up all these pills to either make themselves look and sound like either a man or a woman. And some of them have gone the distance and gotten the operation… removing their breast or male gentiles… growing breast or facial hair etc….
What also disturbs me about this… and perhaps the most. It is this… the fact that it is all a lie. It also undermines God perfect order. And it is highly deceitful when people walk around pretending to be something that they know they are really not… but look and sound every bit like it to unsuspecting people whom they charm into their lives …and never inform the truth… unless somehow forced to.
I foresee a time when many will be marrying such people unaware. There have past cases where someone found out that either their husband or wife was not really a man… or a woman. I even read not long ago of a case where a woman found out that her husband had really been her father. The world truly has gone crazy. And everything is turning upside down.
I recently was hired for a job… and from the jump I recognized immediately that the person introduced to me as a woman… was not a woman. It is from that moment I think I was going to write this blog regarding this subject. Because it bothered me.
I cannot lie and call someone a woman when I know that they are a man. I do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But to tell you the truth I would rather not come in contact with them.
Yes, back in the day I used to do it. I used to say ‘hey, girl’…when I was hanging out to the gay guys… and play that game with them. But I’m not that person today… or any more. I don’t want to play that game. And I just don’t want to lie… or aid or abet them in that lifestyle.
A lot of people do it. They grin and smile all up in their faces (meaning the gay guys faces) …while ripping them apart when they are among their other friends… laughing and making jokes about them. I have seen it. And I might have done that myself… I think.
But these people (and I do not say ‘these people’ to demean anyone)… who live these kind of lives trying to fool people are truly ‘double-minded.’ Their mind is split… they are biologically whatever they were born… and then they are whatever they are pretending to be. Over a period time yes… much because natural but still the core of who they really are cannot be removed by doctor… by pills… by surgery… or anything… unless God does it. And we all know that He is not.
But what bothered me most about my meeting and supposedly working with this person… was that I knew them to be a liar from the very beginning. You cannot be passing yourself off as something you know that you are not… and not be a liar. If you would lie to me about a core thing such as who you were born to be… then how can I trust you regarding anything else?
And that was the dilemma I was thrown into.
And I just could not do it… because I knew the person could not be trusted… because he was definitely not a woman.
You cannot trust anyone who would introduce himself to men as a woman… with all the parts…having gone through the surgery… as though they were born that way.
I am not going to go to hell aiding someone in their lying by holding up their lie pretending like it is the truth. No, I cannot do it. But the people who brought us together… church folk… were and did do just that. And I really could not understand it.
If there is 1 thing that I clearly understand… I understand that homosexuality is a spirit. Now, I know many would disagree… and that is alright. I will not argue the point. But homosexuality is as much a spirit as lying can be on some people who will tell you a lie even when there is nothing to lie about. Or as the spirit of drinking strong drink… or taking drugs. The measure of a spirit is this… how they talk… walk… act out.
All people under the influence of alcohol slur… walk drifting from side to side or show some sign of being unstable on their legs… and can be funnier than usual or more argumentative or mean depending upon the spirit that has a hold of them. The same is true with the spirit of homosexuality… their is a likeness in their mannerisms… hand movements… the way they talk etc. Even with the women they take on similar characteristics…looks… mannerisms etc…. these traits are a mark of the spirit that is within them. Some may say ‘I don’t have any gay mannerisms.’ Oh, yes they do… but they are not readily picked up by all people who don’t know what they are. Because there are many gay people who pride themselves on being ‘invisible’... meaning they think nobody can tell that they are gay.
So, all sins are a spirit of 1 sort or another. And if I were to hold up 1 sin or another I would be as bad as the people who doing that sin.
So, there are things I prefer not to become involved in… or with. I can’t hold up a lie no matter how much I like you or may love you. I would be contributing to the sin if I did… and I cannot do that. That would make me a liar. And lying is definitely as sin. Should I lose my soul for the sank of holding up someone else’s sin by playing their game and introducing them as a woman when I know they are a man?
No, I cannot do that. It does not mean I hate them. It just means I can’t play the devil’s game. And I will not be drawn into it… whether I like you or not.
It amazes me all the tricks the devil will play upon us. The people who go through that thing they call ‘transitioning’ can get driver’s licenses that say whatever they change their new sex to. Further evidence of a highly deceitful game. And it is a game.
I feel sorry for anyone who believes that they were born the wrong sex. I know that they are confused. But they do not realize who has confused them. Then others support that confusion by calling them ‘girl’ or ‘boy.’
I know devil to be a liar… and I am well aware of the tricks he can play on the mind… and it is a head game. But I know someone who can remove the confusion and turn everything around… and make it right side up again. His name is Jesus.
And I am not preaching… because preaching to the lost does them no good. They are lost. They have eyes but they cannot see… and ears but they cannot hear. Until God removes the blinders and they step into his marvelous light… then they will come to see and understand how they were deceived. It happened to me. I know first-hand. And I thank the Lord for Saving me… but it might not have happened if the church where God lead me had realized who I was at the time and what kind of spirit had a hold of me.
The problem is many churches… particularly African American churches chase out gay people… when God has called them in. The Bible says that faith comes through hearing… and then it says ‘with love and kindness have I drawn thee.’ We must show love and compassion in our churches… and stop acting like none of us were ever in sin, or may still be as the case usually is.
Most church people won’t even testify about what God Saved them from. But God did not give us a testimony for us to keep it to ourselves. It is of none effect if we keep what God has done for us to ourselves. It is to us His glory for us to share it.
I am thankful that God brought me out of lesbianism… and I will share it everywhere I go… along with all of His other goodness to me. I am not shame that God lifted me up… and now I walk in liberty.
Well, God bless…. I’ve got to get busy now and do what I really came into this computer lab to do. I said a bit more in this blog than I intended to. Hope it is a blessing to you…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
36 comments April 15, 2014
I have been thinking about writing this blog for a little while now. But so much has been going on and I have had so little time to do much of anything… except edit video and work on my podcast (which I will tell you about a few weeks from now).
Does anybody but me feel like time is running away from us?
It seems I just do not have enough time in my day …or night any more. I am finding myself staying up from 6 to 10:00 in the morning… if I sleep at all any more… only to still run out of time.
But here is what has been on my mind lately.
I have not heard of such grotesque things as these kinds of things I have happened across posted on my Facebook page. I have just spent the last 20 minutes trying to find some of those post on my Facebook page and can’t find 1 of them now.
So, what little I know of them I am going to tell you.
First, there was this huge picture that leaped up at me of the woman you see here. Just seeing it made me think…. “I do not want to read this.”
Does she look like she is smirking… happy with herself????
I don’t know maybe she is about 30 something if that… a young black woman, heavy set…. You can’t tell much more than that. But she was a supposed mother who had 2 children. The ages of her children were an infant, of about 6 months, and a little 3 year old… 2 little girls. She was arrested for having allowing some old man have sex with her children for money.
Yes, I know…
I couldn’t really get past that point either. An infant?
And a 3 year old daughter?
An infant… about 6 months old?????
And you selling your children for money… And get this. Videotaping the man doing it… and I think it said ‘sometimes joining in.’
They both deserved to be thrown under the jail… and never revisited again.
It made me think of Mo’que in that movie…Precious.
There are some stories I really can’t tell you about because I only read the caption below the picture of the person. Based upon that I just didn’t not want to know any more.
Somethings are so heinous that you just don’t want to read any further.
I have found that I cannot read everything. All of these kinds of things make me sick. And they stay with me… really they stay with forever it seems.
I find myself now praying day and night when it comes to mind that God build up His hedges around the babies and children, young kids, teens, young girls… and boys etc… The times are very bad. The level of sexual perversion is appalling… the acts and the deeds being perpetrated upon innocent people and children are unthinkable.
Since I can’t find any of the postings any longer on my Facebook page that I had wanted to write about… and this is the only one that I can think of… as I never got pass the picture or the caption of the others to really read any of their details. Because after reading some of the comments under those postings I knew not to open it up… and a lot of times I felt I wished I hadn’t even read the caption under the picture.
I just pray for all the little children… and that God heal the land of this and the other acts of diversness.
But as much as I would love for God to heal the land… I do know that the worst is yet to come. All this is Biblical and our only defense against all the madness that is happening in today’s world and to come is to put on the whole amour of God. Read the Word of God… and find out for yourself.
They abused the girl some much that not 1 area of her body is not scarred. They beat her with metal baseball bats, water hose, hanged up, burned her, cut her, used pliers on her, and raped her etc…. And when she tried to run away she would only be returned to them… who would then abuse her even worst.
It is horrific the sadistic things going on today… across the board among all people.
Trying to dig up some pictures for this blog… another one of those stories came to me that I could not read pass the caption at the bottom of the picture. That posting on Facebook had to do with a 9 year old girl being gang raped.
I am shaking my head at these stories… they are many and they are around the world. I pray for these children and the insanity that surrounds them on ever side. But I guess we really shouldn’t be shocked about it all really. Because it has always been here… we just never heard about these kinds of things so readily.
It hurts me to read stories of this nature. I cannot understand anyone who would destroy a child or ruin them for the rest of their lives. Because whether it appears to be so or not… they are ruined in some way or other… and it does impact them on many various levels… if in no other way than robbing them of their innocence.
I know this first hand because of my childhood past.
Oh, I wasn’t a 9 year old girl who got ganged raped. But I could have been had it not been for the grace and mercy of God. I was being prep for it… but God interceded. I was laid up on a kitchen table in a boarding house for some migrant workers, Hispanic men. I do not know how old I was… but it was before I was in the 4th grade by at least a couple of years.
One day I was out playing and I heard a piano being played. I followed the sound that was inside an abandon building across from the apartment building where we lived at the time. The man took me by the hand and lead we away into this boarding house… of course, at the time I had no idea of what was going on… or even that I was lead into a boarding house.
The man brought me into the kitchen and put me on the kitchen down laying me down with my legs hanging down off the table. He began working on me. He had pulled down my pants and panties and started working on by putting his finger inside of me. And then he began to penetrate me.
As soon a she got started a man opened the door and began speaking with him in Spanish. The man quickly closed the door and man working on me stopped zipped up his pants… and he got me off the table. He opened the kitchen door tentatively and slowly eased me out with him. As I stepped into the hallway all I saw was a sea of heads and heard a lot of confusion. There were a ton of men all gathered around the front door of the boarding house. They were blocking the entrance of the door while the man eased me out the back way. But the owner of the boarding house had seen the man bring a little girl into the house and he had come to see about what was going on. That man rescued me.
I think of now knowing that God was good to me. What I did not know as a little child is crystal clear to me now. I was blessed. No, it didn’t happened to me but it could have and was in the process of going to… had it not been for the Lord.
However, the effects of it have stayed with even to now. Growing up I always thought something was wrong with me. It seemed that I was always being approached for sex. I began to wonder if there was some kind of sign or something on my back.
Up until this very time I have really never had sexual relations with men. When I got to to the age where I matured a little …somewhere in my early pre-teens I determined not to have sex until after I got married and then would have a house full of children and a 2 car garage. Funny the things you think about when you are a kid.
But it did impact me… and it has followed me all of my life. I know the periods when I acted out. So, there is no one who can tell me that such acts do not impact the lives of children. Because they do… whether or not it is obvious or not.
What happened to protecting our children?
We never used to do such vile things.
Biblical scripture says that when the children of Israel fell into the sins of those around them, they began doing worst than them. We are seeing today much of the same. It is horrible that anyone should be doing these kind of vile things to anyone…
Well, as you can see I still get a chuckle out of my friend’s animation of me and her grabbing a bite to eat. Bet you can’t guess which is supposed to be me.
***Please note that the pictures of the children are not those which have been preyed upon. I merely use them to get the message across… as to how beautiful children are and their innocence should never be striped from them.***
Well, God bless…. it is Friday now and kind of wet outside. But at least it is not snow… though 1 of my cousins called me saying they got snow. And I hope they keep it there…. 🙂
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
Add a comment March 28, 2014