Posts filed under: ‘GAYS IN TELEVISION‘
I would be the last person to criticize or make a mockery of anyone’s child, as I too am a mother of a gay child. The irony of it all is that I too was once gay… or as I like to say, ‘I was in the life.’
So, coming to grips with my son being gay should have been an easy thing for me right?
It worried me. It plagued me. And at times in the beginning shamed me. I went through the whole gambit of emotions trying to deal with it mentally. And truthfully speaking just did not want to accept it… and I still don’t but for other reasons I will get to later in this blog.
But through it all my love of my son never tethered. I have always loved him. In fact, I will go as far to say, ‘That I even adore him.’ And I have always recognized that he was a far better person than his mother.
I recall while teaching several years ago there was a young male student that sought me out to talk to me about his relationship with his family. His family was made up of Saved people who rejected him. They made him feel bad about himself and about the lifestyle he had gravitated toward. He felt trapped because he loved them… but could not deny his sexuality
He was a handsome boy… smart and I could tell that he was kind and loved his family deeply. But their feelings towards him tormented him. They were pushing him away… and out of their lives. They didn’t want him in their house. And I guess it is fair to say that the very sight of him made them sick.
What a shame. They obviously did not know …or could not see the type of person they had really birthed into this world. Because he was worth celebrating… and not rejecting.
While in the life I had encountered many gay guys with similar stories of rejection. Many covered up their alternate lifestyles… or attempted to …or so they thought. Because they did not want the rejection… someth
Many fell away from the church because the church laughed at them… made jokes about them and ‘limp wrist.’ The church turned its back on them and attempted to make them hate themselves. In response to that many became drug abuser…
started drinking heavily… and many even attempted and did commit suicide. And then there were those who broke down mentally and began having mental problems because of the rejection, and the feeling that they had let down their families.
I have seen many sad and lost gay men and women who suffered the pains of family rejection… church rejection and community rejection. In those days there were not gay people all over the TV like today… or all these Hollywood stars walking around proclaiming their gayness as we see today. Or all these anti-gay laws as we see today… or legislation of gay rights and gay marriages etc..
But back in the day there were just a lot of lost souls seeking to find themselves, who seemed to only find 1 place where they felt they really fitted… and that was in the gay lifestyle. Being gay… and I was 1 of them.
Oh, yes… I was 1 of them. I’m free today …and of that yoked of bondage that had once had me bound… but many still are lost. And because of all these new acceptances such as the changing of one’s sex… this whole thing has gotten more and more crazier. And it has fooled a lot of them into believing by doing all these crazy things they will find happiness.
The devil is a liar… and the great deceiver.
I came out of the life when S&M started to become the big rage. More and more gay people were slipping into the bondage thing… and I could just not wrap my head around that. It was not for me. I could not see me allowing anybody to tie me up or handcuff me… or otherwise rendering me helpless while they beat me and did whatever else they wanted to do to me. I could not see the intrigue in that sexually or any other kind of way.
During my time in the life there had always been cross-dressers, drag queens, transvestites etc. But this thing of wanting to become and man if you are a woman ….or a women if you are a man may not be new. But it certainly was not popular. And that is what it is today… popular. And it is very popular … as popular as people tattooing their bodies or piercing themselves all over the place.
But I did not begin this blog to really talk about any of what I just wrote. I really wanted to write about Sade’s daughter.
When I was in the life… it was Sade I longed for. She was so sexy to me. I loved everything about her… including all her music. I bought everything she put out. But then lets face it… her music was good. She was different and had a style all of her own… and I guess that attracted me more than anything else.
I will never forget that for 1 of my birthday’s a friend gave me a large framed picture of Sade, which I hung in my living room. And I would often just stare at it.
Yeah, I was crazy… in love. Sade was fine… but so was my then girlfriend, Angela. Where I would have chosen Sade… many would have chosen Angela hands down. And yes, Angela was quite beautiful. She was exotic in many ways. She had a British accent, and was part Jamaican and Chinese. And she was brilliant… and she was the person who withstood me for the longest… 10 years. She liked telling that story.
When I spoke with her last she informed me that she too had found Christ Jesus, and was reading the Bible daily. I was very happy to hear that as Angela had grown up Catholic and had very conflicting thoughts about God and religion. But there was 1 thing she had said about me… she knew even then… that 1 day I would become woman of God. I guess there was something about me… and it had to do with my training. It was the fact that I grew up in the church… and that training kept me from crossing certain lines… such as drinking or doing drugs… or smoking etc. Where many had been rejected I was not because I did not look a certain way. I could pass… and no one except keen women who were also in the life could spot me.
But I did not cuss or live a riotous life… and I knew nothing about living badly, as my parents were real church people… loving and caring… and giving unto others church people. So, they were my role models… and there was 1 thing about them. They never ever spoke to me about being gay… and I never ever flaunted anything like that in front of them… though they never restricted me in being me.
So, Sade’s daughter is gay. And by looking over the pictures of her and her daughter I can tell that Sade, who took time off from her career as a recording artist for a few years to give birth and begin raising her daughter… that Sade never once thought to reject her daughter.
Seeing pictures of Michael Jordan and his daughter, Jasmine…he too seems to be an accepting father of his child. She is quite attractive… they both are Michael’s daughter and Sade’s daughter. And Magic’s son, Erwin… after having lost over a hundred pounds is quite handsome himself.
Many people can’t deal with sexuality issues and their children. Everybody at some point has had to battle through something. Many adults … parents often forget the headaches they caused their parents… and the many sleepless night they took their parents through when it comes time to deal with their own children.
In life people are always in a state of transformation. Their taste in food changes… clothes changes… thoughts on various subjects change… and they change… they mature… they gain wisdom… and if all goes right they discover who they really are. This is why I am so anti-sex changes… because I understand clearly the changes that people go through from their early stages to their latter stages… and no one is ever the same or thinks the same way.
I sometimes go back and look up old gay friends on Facebook and I can truly say… I am so thankful that I am no longer in the life. They seem so old to me… so sad… and seem to not have grown. We look different… them and me. But then the hand of God is upon my life and has always been.
As Sade’s daughter travels through this life it will be interesting to see the changes and turns her life will too take… as well as Michael Jordan’s daughter and Magic’s son. There is this old song that Donny Hathaway used to sing called ‘Everything Must Change.’ And it goes on to say ...’nothing remains the same.’ That is BUT ‘God.’
And the great thing about God… He loves us all… no matter what pit we happen to fall in. And He is able to reach down and bring us all out.
I no longer fantasy over Sade. Nor do I listen to her music. I’m on a different path… and as my parents prayed for me… I too pray for my son that God does the same for him as He did for me. And I pray for my friends and the many many many others who are lost. It doesn’t matter what they may or may not be in… but if they are not walking in the steps which God has ordered then prayer is the most powerful tool we can use to help… with the hope that God too will favor them and call them out from among them.
God bless… I’ve got to get out of here now. Somebody is probably going to write me saying I thought this blog was supposed to be about Sade’s daughter. And to a degree it was…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016
Add a comment April 20, 2016
Well, today is the last day of gay pride, the Supreme Court has ruled and a lot of people were jumping for joy this month, if they are gay and/or just felt celebratory. And then prior to this Bruce Jenner turned into Caitlyn.
As I watched most of the so-called spin doctors on TV on the various television shows it appeared to me that none of them was brave enough to come out and say what I know a lot of them must have truly been feeling of thinking. They were afraid so they took the road that would not stir up any controversies or angry debates. They all decided to be politely ‘politically correct’… to go along to get along.
It just says you decided to not dissent but rather chose to follow the crowd and say, ‘You were proud that Bruce finally found himself.’
But I am here to tell you that Bruce is further away from being who he really is than he has ever been in entire life.
Oh, many people are confused. I was confused and I am sure you were confused while growing up. All kinds of things popped into our heads.
For the longest time as I was growing up I kept wishing I was adopted. I felt like I wanted to belong to another family.
But back to my story… it was because I felt that my parents didn’t make my sisters or brothers do anything. I felt like I was the only child my parents made work around the house. Of course, having been the oldest of 8 children this might have proven to be the same for just about anybody else born first with a few younger sisters and brothers behind them. But you only know about you… and your circumstance… and when you are young that is all that matters to you.
So, I loathed my sisters and brothers. They were always messing up everything and breaking things… and I was the 1 who got blamed. They tore up everything… and they often went into my room and messed with my stuff… and destroyed many of my things which my parents bought for me. I’ll never forget my little record player stereo system my parents gave me 1 Christmas…. a few days later when I went into my room and found that the arm of my record player had been broken.
From I don’t know what age I was… when my father pushed a kitchen table chair up to the kitchen sink and I became the official and only dishwasher in my family’s house until I went to college… and finally moved out into my own apartment. And after that happened you know who began to wash dishes in my families’ house?
Well, it wasn’t any of my sisters or brothers… my father or mother.
During those years… my dish-washing years… my sisters and brothers did not know what it was like to rinse out a glass or cup. No, not them. Every time they drank something it was with a cleaned new glass or cleaned new cup. So, I was constantly washing dishes all day long. And the way it was in our house you not only had to wash dishes but clean and mop the kitchen every night too. So, it was little wonder I was up most nights late… because I was not allowed to go to bed until I had completely cleaned the kitchen, washed every dish and pot and then finished by having mopped and rinsed the floor too. This meant that many times I never went to bed until 3 o’clock in the morning because I hated washing dishes so much I dragged through it.
So, yes I wished I had been adopted as a young child… and oftentimes felt like I was adopted. I never missed not 1 day of school unless I was absolutely sick… because it was the only time I got to get away from my sisters and brothers. So, I loved school.
As I grew up I then became the babysitter for my sisters and brothers …and the family cook during the week days many times when my mother told me to. Though I hated it I can see today where and how all of that benefited me …and how it really did help to mold and shape me into the person I am today. And it has been a very very very long time since I have ever thought or or ever again wished that I was adopted.
In fact, the direct opposite is the truth today. I am quite happy and very proud to be part of my family. And when I say I truly had the best of the best when it came to parents… I really did. My parents did everything for us… and they took us everywhere… all kinds of trips and weekend or daily excursions… such as on a hot summer day to the beach or park… or every Christmas on the train to Florida… or the plane to Jamaica etc… that’s how they were. We even went to the World Fair in New York City. And when I became of age they bought me my own car… paid for my college… aided me with my bills when I needed it …and when I got my first official job in radio in a neighboring town my mother religiously drove me to work and then drove back those 30 miles again every evening to come back and pick me up … and was never once late to get me.
I say all of that to say this… when we are young a lot of different things go through our heads… like me wishing I was adopted… or Bruce thinking he was a girl.
If I had known anything about adoption or foster care like I do now… I doubt that I would have ever wished for that to have happened to me. And I am very very thankful it had not considering the negative stories we now hear from children who were painfully caught up in those systems.
I would be hard press not to believe that Bruce at some point during his early childhood was probably not as boyish as perhaps his father or someone thought he should have been. And perhaps as a young kid he was hit with somebody saying to him ‘why you acting like a little girl’ or ‘why are you crying like a little sissy.’ Or even saying to him that he was not suppose to like doing something or playing some type of game because only girls do that.
I have seen people do this to their children …and they do not realize that they are planting seeds in that child which many times does manifest itself in a form of confusion in terms of their child’s self-identity and/or sexual identity.
I once hear a very foolish grandfather laughingly say to his very young grand-son, ‘Boy, you got some sugar in your tank.’
What kind of language is that?
He was speaking death and not life into that young boy’s life. He was putting his grand-son down and never realize he putting him on a path that had never been in that young child’s mind… but today that boy is living that thing his grand-father spoke into him.
Though I didn’t like most of the little girlish things either. Like I can’t remember ever playing with dolls. I wanted to fix things… build igloos when it snowed… dreamed of running in the Olympics… build stuff with … make cartoons… but none of that girl stuff. Nobody called me a tomboy though… nor was I ever labelled anything and the things I was interested in back then I’m still interest now… and it has not impacted my femininity.
When I was in the 9th grade a girl started chasing me. And I think that was the beginning of my confusion.
No, not really …though I must say she frightened me… not physically I was not accustom to such things… especially anybody liking me… Well, not like that. I then actually thought she was crazy and I never ever once spoke to her face to face until many years later… when we came across each other in a gay club. But back then I did not understand her. I had never heard of the word ‘lesbian’ or knew anything about 2 women or 2 girls doing anything sexually.
But I do remember loving to watch things like Miss U. S. A. and Miss America. I loved looking at those beautiful women from a very early age. And once while in elementary school I became very infatuated with a 4th grade teacher. She was not 1 of my teachers …but she was young and pretty and drove a fancy blue convertible car. From that moment on blue became my favorite color… that is until I got ‘Saved’… then everything changed including me.
Perhaps, this was not Bruce’s experience. Maybe someone had taken sexual advantage of him early. And since Bruce was handsome… maybe somebody kept telling how pretty he was a young child… all these kind of things can confusion a young child.
I have no doubt that Bruce is confused… the root cause could be a number of anything. But today Bruce chooses to act out his fantasy… of him being a woman. And it is a fantasy… because when it has all been all said and done… no matter how many pills Bruce takes to fem himself up and mask his voice… and bring forth breasts… down beneath Bruce will still be Bruce… and Caitlyn is and will be forevermore just make believe.
It seems that Bruce has been playing games all his life… and now he is going for the gold again in his role as Caitlyn Jenner. But don’t look for an Academy Award at the end Bruce… because it ain’t coming. Cause this whole thing is just a fairytale… and I’m really glad that I didn’t decide to play like I was adopted… I might have ended up looking and acting and being just as ridiculous as Bruce is looking trying to pretend he is a woman… and like that Dolezal woman pretending like she is black while knowing good and well she white. It is all make-believe.
And what message and/or messages is all of this sending out to young children who have yet to come of age… but who are being bombarded with all the wrong images… and who by all indications are already as confused as they can be about so many other things… like what parenthood is really all about… and now this … trying to determine where they are really a boy or really a girl… all this sexual identity stuff too?
All of this confusion about whether they look better as a girl or a boy only plays to make them more confused as who they truly are… because now they have options that were never on the table before. ‘Man’ has creates too many choices… when God only gave us 1… and that is to be what and who He created us to be. So, then who is ‘man’ to say, ‘I can turn you into whatever you want to sexually be.’
I recall sitting at home wishing I saw more gay images on television. Something that related to what I was feeling and going through. But today I can clearly say I am happy that they were not out there… or at least… not out there as loudly or boldly and robust as what we see on television today… and in all mainstream media like crazy.
Of, course… young kids and even children are going to be drawn into what they watch… see and hear. It does impact them in so many many different ways. Which is exactly why back in the day grown people kept little children out of their conversations and often tried to keep them away from things that group folks talked about. But that is not the case today.
Kids are being introduced to far too much far too soon… and definitely far too early.
Yeah, perhaps I was a late bloomer… but thank God I was. Who knows where I would be today… and what I might still be doing in the gay lifestyle I was living in… and particularly if the world had been as it is today.
No, I don’t believe we should be in people’s bedroom unless they are doing something illegal. I hate child molesters and abusers… or people who take people for sex slaves… and especially people who are attracted to small children sexually to abuse them… or those who ruin animals and dogs etc. Because that is crazy, vicious… and certainly beyond any limits I can sympathize with or agree upon. These kind of people need to be done away with… and quickly …and never to be seen again.
But then some people feel that way about gay people too… but that is ignorance. I do understand gay people and things they want and strive for… and have worked to make happen. Years ago they sought to activate themselves and unify their efforts for social change and acceptance. And I am not against that. Well, not totally.
I say let people be if they are violating any laws. We can’t change them… and they are beyond for the most part listening to us. So, you are just beating a dead horse with a stick… unless they let some light shine in on their life.
But at the same time I can see the costs that all of this of what we see today is doing …and what is happening so rapidly around us… and what it is really coming to… and why it has come upon us as it has. That reason being because people failed to be tolerate years ago to the needs and concerns of the gay community… by trying to keep them invisible. And now look at what has happened… the exact opposite… and this thing has gone so overboard… too overboard that it really has gone much too far... to the point now where many people are engaging in changing their sex.
Does every television show have to have a lesbian or gay male couple in it… or someone who is openly (flaming) gay… kissing and/or making love?
EVERY television show???
Is there really a ‘gay agenda?’
Yes, there is… and it started many years ago when gays decided that they were fed up and weren’t going to take it any more… and decided to become judges and law makers etc…etc…etc.
So, the laws have been changed and now the Supreme Court has stepped into the foray and declared that ALL states have to allow gay marriages. That to me is not really a big thing since I had been to a few gay marriages long before any laws on gay marriage had even been proposed and entered into the law books in any of the States.
But it is the issue of re-defining things that bothers me. Must we re-define everything?
Does every group in America have to be satisfied?
Clearly, there are things which should not be played with… abridged or supported or rectified or corrected.
And those things which I speak of have to do with what God has created and ordained… and what He has defined… such as family. Now, I know I am starting to sound like 1 of those self-righteous preachers… but I am not. I clearly recognize that there are many different types of family… as we organize ourselves in many different ways. And that is okay… as there are adoptive families… biological families… estranged families… foster families… and families where parents may be gay or whatever. But the family organism was designed by God when He created Eve for Adam. So, marriage really was meant to be between a man and a woman… and that is Biblical. But that does not mean that the family structure has not adapted or revolved into many different individual structures suited for the needs of the people involved in those circumstances… as in the case of Abraham and Lot, who was Abraham’s nephew.
However, marriage is something totally different… it is meant to unite 2 people… the husband to the wife. Though this too has become corrupted over time… as many people jump in and out of marriage today. And many non-gay people do not want to marry instead they prefer to just live together… whereas many gay people want to marry and fought to legalize their unions with each other… and many times it has grown out of a need to ensure the rights of their lover to whatever possessions they acquired together from greedy family who might want to step in and take everything from their lover upon their death. I have seen that happen.
I don’t care whether 2 men want to walk around and call each other ‘husbands’ or 2 women calling each other ‘wives.’ So, that does not disturb me. But what does disturb me is people changing their driver’s license …and passports… and birth certificates to say that they are a ‘woman’ or a ‘man’ when they clearly are not. They were not biologically born as one… and can really never really be a ‘real woman’ or ‘real man’ though they may have cut off everything… pilled themselves to death creating breasts and changed their voice tones to that of a woman or man… or removed their Adam’s apples or muscles in their arms… and in the case of women …had their breasts removed. All of this is crazy and has become the latest rage around America and the world. It has become a fad… like tattooing or piercing has become for many.
Tell me why you would want to be a man… call yourself a man… look and sound like a man… and then want to walk around pregnant?
It is odd to turn yourself into looking and sounding like a man… and then want to have a baby …and then turn around and want to call yourself the first man to have a baby. Something is wrong with that picture… and I cannot agree with it because it is not natural nor does it make sense… for a woman to pretend she is a man and then talk about she is re-defining motherhood. Motherhood has already been perfectly defined. And what these type of people are trying to do is totally and absolutely not in alignment with the will of God.
Furthermore, I see painfully so many young people slipping into this thing… because it is presented to them today as being acceptable… and a happy way of being. I could never see me dressing my son up or allowing him to dress up as a little girl.
No, I’m going to declare the manhood of my child… or womanhood over my child for as long as I can. Because somebody needs to. It is a sad thing when a parent has no clarity on how to be a good and loving parent without compromising everything to the devil. I refuse to just turn my child over to the devil.
But some parents are doing just that. Young people have no real knowledge of what they are getting into when they make these choices are made… like going through a sex change. If only they really knew… it’s not a game and should not be done.
These kids are not there when the lights go down and these pretenders… people who have converted themselves pull down the shades. They do not see the tears or feel the pain of these people when the pretense cannot hide the unhappiness or emptiness inside of never finding satisfaction or true acceptance or anyone who ‘really loves you’ because of the games they chose to play… and end up realizing the ‘joke’ was on them.
There is little wonder why still… alcoholism and drug abuse is so very high in the gay community. And why suicide still permeates… because you can’t play games with yourself and expect to truly be happy.
There is no happiness in life when 1 is living outside of the will of God. You may be able to fool yourself believing that you are happy. But deep inside you are not happy. I know because I once thought that I was happy living in ‘the life’… very happy… but I know today that I was never ever happy in that life.
Oh, for a while I felt that I had found a place where I belonged… but it was not where I belonged at all. And I thank God for loving me enough to desire me… and to have called me out of lesbianism… and that He gave me ears to hear His call upon me to come out from among them. Today I now walk in liberty.
Had God not called me out… or my parents not love enough to have not cast me out… I have no doubt that I would still be in that life. Today I marvel at all the tricks the devil tries to play upon me to pull me back into that life. I have never in my life been chased by so many women. But when I was in ‘the life’ I was certainly no magnet. But now that I am out of ‘the life’ here they come. Many times I find it annoying… at times comical …and most recently very tempting… because temptations do come even to the drug addict or the alcoholic or the cigarette smoker etc… etc… But I thank God He still has a hold on me. I won’t go back… not ever.
Through the course of life there are many things that we are going to have to battle. Acceptance is something that every child comes face to face with as they are growing up… and many children feel different. But then none of us are the same anyways… we are all different. And ‘yes’ strange thoughts enter our heads… like desires to kiss a boy or maybe a girl. But those desire do not necessarily define who you truly are.
With all these images bombarded at you… or maybe a boy or girl in school who has been abused and is acting out and that person takes an interest in you… and perhaps it lights a fire in you that was not there before… but this does not mean that is truly you. But allowing these thoughts to linger or by playing with them in our heads they will push us towards acting them out. And this is why I am not in favor of all these lesbian or gay or transgender images that we see on television today… because they are unleashed upon public in such a seductive and intriguing way… too seductive and too intriguing for anyone too vulnerable to those kind of images and thoughts to not get caught in the trap …for which they are designed to seduce.
So, today on TV you have Raul Paul and his gang of queens who during that show can teach you how to tuck your stuff… apply make-up and everything else. And you have the Prancing Elite… who may well be the most fab guys in the world but what they are projecting upon young boy children in terms of manhood… is not good. There is no in between human being… or any conversion into something else because we feel it suits us. We are what God created… and if we don’t like it… we can’t tweak it. Least we are not suppose to.
It is all too much… and it is being shoved down our throats in a mighty way… that can only lead to doom. And nothing
saddens me more than to see how this confusion is truly overtaking over this world… and how we are loosing grip upon what is true… and that which is really real… in order to accept ‘political correctness’… a trick term… in order to seduce people into a trap of just going along with everything… or believing we can be anything else other than what God has made us to be.
If I were not moved to have to tell you the truth… then I too would be guilty of trying to be ‘politically correct’… by simply saying nothing… which is another form of lying even though I said nothing. But by being ‘politically correct’ you can’t help anybody and it would not be helpful to anybody if ‘political correctness’ was used and we all just simply started playing their games along with them… and calling ‘him’ ‘she’ and ‘she’ ‘him.’
It is not my desire to tear anyone down. But truth is a hard pill to swallow. It is time for truth and not a bunch of lies… like telling Bruce Jenner he looks beautiful. When you know the man looks like a joke…
Well, God bless…. I pray for every family and for all mankind.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2015
6 comments June 29, 2015