Posts filed under: ‘Lesbianism‘
I would be the last person to criticize or make a mockery of anyone’s child, as I too am a mother of a gay child. The irony of it all is that I too was once gay… or as I like to say, ‘I was in the life.’
So, coming to grips with my son being gay should have been an easy thing for me right?
It worried me. It plagued me. And at times in the beginning shamed me. I went through the whole gambit of emotions trying to deal with it mentally. And truthfully speaking just did not want to accept it… and I still don’t but for other reasons I will get to later in this blog.
But through it all my love of my son never tethered. I have always loved him. In fact, I will go as far to say, ‘That I even adore him.’ And I have always recognized that he was a far better person than his mother.
I recall while teaching several years ago there was a young male student that sought me out to talk to me about his relationship with his family. His family was made up of Saved people who rejected him. They made him feel bad about himself and about the lifestyle he had gravitated toward. He felt trapped because he loved them… but could not deny his sexuality
He was a handsome boy… smart and I could tell that he was kind and loved his family deeply. But their feelings towards him tormented him. They were pushing him away… and out of their lives. They didn’t want him in their house. And I guess it is fair to say that the very sight of him made them sick.
What a shame. They obviously did not know …or could not see the type of person they had really birthed into this world. Because he was worth celebrating… and not rejecting.
While in the life I had encountered many gay guys with similar stories of rejection. Many covered up their alternate lifestyles… or attempted to …or so they thought. Because they did not want the rejection… someth
Many fell away from the church because the church laughed at them… made jokes about them and ‘limp wrist.’ The church turned its back on them and attempted to make them hate themselves. In response to that many became drug abuser…
started drinking heavily… and many even attempted and did commit suicide. And then there were those who broke down mentally and began having mental problems because of the rejection, and the feeling that they had let down their families.
I have seen many sad and lost gay men and women who suffered the pains of family rejection… church rejection and community rejection. In those days there were not gay people all over the TV like today… or all these Hollywood stars walking around proclaiming their gayness as we see today. Or all these anti-gay laws as we see today… or legislation of gay rights and gay marriages etc..
But back in the day there were just a lot of lost souls seeking to find themselves, who seemed to only find 1 place where they felt they really fitted… and that was in the gay lifestyle. Being gay… and I was 1 of them.
Oh, yes… I was 1 of them. I’m free today …and of that yoked of bondage that had once had me bound… but many still are lost. And because of all these new acceptances such as the changing of one’s sex… this whole thing has gotten more and more crazier. And it has fooled a lot of them into believing by doing all these crazy things they will find happiness.
The devil is a liar… and the great deceiver.
I came out of the life when S&M started to become the big rage. More and more gay people were slipping into the bondage thing… and I could just not wrap my head around that. It was not for me. I could not see me allowing anybody to tie me up or handcuff me… or otherwise rendering me helpless while they beat me and did whatever else they wanted to do to me. I could not see the intrigue in that sexually or any other kind of way.
During my time in the life there had always been cross-dressers, drag queens, transvestites etc. But this thing of wanting to become and man if you are a woman ….or a women if you are a man may not be new. But it certainly was not popular. And that is what it is today… popular. And it is very popular … as popular as people tattooing their bodies or piercing themselves all over the place.
But I did not begin this blog to really talk about any of what I just wrote. I really wanted to write about Sade’s daughter.
When I was in the life… it was Sade I longed for. She was so sexy to me. I loved everything about her… including all her music. I bought everything she put out. But then lets face it… her music was good. She was different and had a style all of her own… and I guess that attracted me more than anything else.
I will never forget that for 1 of my birthday’s a friend gave me a large framed picture of Sade, which I hung in my living room. And I would often just stare at it.
Yeah, I was crazy… in love. Sade was fine… but so was my then girlfriend, Angela. Where I would have chosen Sade… many would have chosen Angela hands down. And yes, Angela was quite beautiful. She was exotic in many ways. She had a British accent, and was part Jamaican and Chinese. And she was brilliant… and she was the person who withstood me for the longest… 10 years. She liked telling that story.
When I spoke with her last she informed me that she too had found Christ Jesus, and was reading the Bible daily. I was very happy to hear that as Angela had grown up Catholic and had very conflicting thoughts about God and religion. But there was 1 thing she had said about me… she knew even then… that 1 day I would become woman of God. I guess there was something about me… and it had to do with my training. It was the fact that I grew up in the church… and that training kept me from crossing certain lines… such as drinking or doing drugs… or smoking etc. Where many had been rejected I was not because I did not look a certain way. I could pass… and no one except keen women who were also in the life could spot me.
But I did not cuss or live a riotous life… and I knew nothing about living badly, as my parents were real church people… loving and caring… and giving unto others church people. So, they were my role models… and there was 1 thing about them. They never ever spoke to me about being gay… and I never ever flaunted anything like that in front of them… though they never restricted me in being me.
So, Sade’s daughter is gay. And by looking over the pictures of her and her daughter I can tell that Sade, who took time off from her career as a recording artist for a few years to give birth and begin raising her daughter… that Sade never once thought to reject her daughter.
Seeing pictures of Michael Jordan and his daughter, Jasmine…he too seems to be an accepting father of his child. She is quite attractive… they both are Michael’s daughter and Sade’s daughter. And Magic’s son, Erwin… after having lost over a hundred pounds is quite handsome himself.
Many people can’t deal with sexuality issues and their children. Everybody at some point has had to battle through something. Many adults … parents often forget the headaches they caused their parents… and the many sleepless night they took their parents through when it comes time to deal with their own children.
In life people are always in a state of transformation. Their taste in food changes… clothes changes… thoughts on various subjects change… and they change… they mature… they gain wisdom… and if all goes right they discover who they really are. This is why I am so anti-sex changes… because I understand clearly the changes that people go through from their early stages to their latter stages… and no one is ever the same or thinks the same way.
I sometimes go back and look up old gay friends on Facebook and I can truly say… I am so thankful that I am no longer in the life. They seem so old to me… so sad… and seem to not have grown. We look different… them and me. But then the hand of God is upon my life and has always been.
As Sade’s daughter travels through this life it will be interesting to see the changes and turns her life will too take… as well as Michael Jordan’s daughter and Magic’s son. There is this old song that Donny Hathaway used to sing called ‘Everything Must Change.’ And it goes on to say ...’nothing remains the same.’ That is BUT ‘God.’
And the great thing about God… He loves us all… no matter what pit we happen to fall in. And He is able to reach down and bring us all out.
I no longer fantasy over Sade. Nor do I listen to her music. I’m on a different path… and as my parents prayed for me… I too pray for my son that God does the same for him as He did for me. And I pray for my friends and the many many many others who are lost. It doesn’t matter what they may or may not be in… but if they are not walking in the steps which God has ordered then prayer is the most powerful tool we can use to help… with the hope that God too will favor them and call them out from among them.
God bless… I’ve got to get out of here now. Somebody is probably going to write me saying I thought this blog was supposed to be about Sade’s daughter. And to a degree it was…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016
Add a comment April 20, 2016
Well, today is the last day of gay pride, the Supreme Court has ruled and a lot of people were jumping for joy this month, if they are gay and/or just felt celebratory. And then prior to this Bruce Jenner turned into Caitlyn.
As I watched most of the so-called spin doctors on TV on the various television shows it appeared to me that none of them was brave enough to come out and say what I know a lot of them must have truly been feeling of thinking. They were afraid so they took the road that would not stir up any controversies or angry debates. They all decided to be politely ‘politically correct’… to go along to get along.
It just says you decided to not dissent but rather chose to follow the crowd and say, ‘You were proud that Bruce finally found himself.’
But I am here to tell you that Bruce is further away from being who he really is than he has ever been in entire life.
Oh, many people are confused. I was confused and I am sure you were confused while growing up. All kinds of things popped into our heads.
For the longest time as I was growing up I kept wishing I was adopted. I felt like I wanted to belong to another family.
But back to my story… it was because I felt that my parents didn’t make my sisters or brothers do anything. I felt like I was the only child my parents made work around the house. Of course, having been the oldest of 8 children this might have proven to be the same for just about anybody else born first with a few younger sisters and brothers behind them. But you only know about you… and your circumstance… and when you are young that is all that matters to you.
So, I loathed my sisters and brothers. They were always messing up everything and breaking things… and I was the 1 who got blamed. They tore up everything… and they often went into my room and messed with my stuff… and destroyed many of my things which my parents bought for me. I’ll never forget my little record player stereo system my parents gave me 1 Christmas…. a few days later when I went into my room and found that the arm of my record player had been broken.
From I don’t know what age I was… when my father pushed a kitchen table chair up to the kitchen sink and I became the official and only dishwasher in my family’s house until I went to college… and finally moved out into my own apartment. And after that happened you know who began to wash dishes in my families’ house?
Well, it wasn’t any of my sisters or brothers… my father or mother.
During those years… my dish-washing years… my sisters and brothers did not know what it was like to rinse out a glass or cup. No, not them. Every time they drank something it was with a cleaned new glass or cleaned new cup. So, I was constantly washing dishes all day long. And the way it was in our house you not only had to wash dishes but clean and mop the kitchen every night too. So, it was little wonder I was up most nights late… because I was not allowed to go to bed until I had completely cleaned the kitchen, washed every dish and pot and then finished by having mopped and rinsed the floor too. This meant that many times I never went to bed until 3 o’clock in the morning because I hated washing dishes so much I dragged through it.
So, yes I wished I had been adopted as a young child… and oftentimes felt like I was adopted. I never missed not 1 day of school unless I was absolutely sick… because it was the only time I got to get away from my sisters and brothers. So, I loved school.
As I grew up I then became the babysitter for my sisters and brothers …and the family cook during the week days many times when my mother told me to. Though I hated it I can see today where and how all of that benefited me …and how it really did help to mold and shape me into the person I am today. And it has been a very very very long time since I have ever thought or or ever again wished that I was adopted.
In fact, the direct opposite is the truth today. I am quite happy and very proud to be part of my family. And when I say I truly had the best of the best when it came to parents… I really did. My parents did everything for us… and they took us everywhere… all kinds of trips and weekend or daily excursions… such as on a hot summer day to the beach or park… or every Christmas on the train to Florida… or the plane to Jamaica etc… that’s how they were. We even went to the World Fair in New York City. And when I became of age they bought me my own car… paid for my college… aided me with my bills when I needed it …and when I got my first official job in radio in a neighboring town my mother religiously drove me to work and then drove back those 30 miles again every evening to come back and pick me up … and was never once late to get me.
I say all of that to say this… when we are young a lot of different things go through our heads… like me wishing I was adopted… or Bruce thinking he was a girl.
If I had known anything about adoption or foster care like I do now… I doubt that I would have ever wished for that to have happened to me. And I am very very thankful it had not considering the negative stories we now hear from children who were painfully caught up in those systems.
I would be hard press not to believe that Bruce at some point during his early childhood was probably not as boyish as perhaps his father or someone thought he should have been. And perhaps as a young kid he was hit with somebody saying to him ‘why you acting like a little girl’ or ‘why are you crying like a little sissy.’ Or even saying to him that he was not suppose to like doing something or playing some type of game because only girls do that.
I have seen people do this to their children …and they do not realize that they are planting seeds in that child which many times does manifest itself in a form of confusion in terms of their child’s self-identity and/or sexual identity.
I once hear a very foolish grandfather laughingly say to his very young grand-son, ‘Boy, you got some sugar in your tank.’
What kind of language is that?
He was speaking death and not life into that young boy’s life. He was putting his grand-son down and never realize he putting him on a path that had never been in that young child’s mind… but today that boy is living that thing his grand-father spoke into him.
Though I didn’t like most of the little girlish things either. Like I can’t remember ever playing with dolls. I wanted to fix things… build igloos when it snowed… dreamed of running in the Olympics… build stuff with … make cartoons… but none of that girl stuff. Nobody called me a tomboy though… nor was I ever labelled anything and the things I was interested in back then I’m still interest now… and it has not impacted my femininity.
When I was in the 9th grade a girl started chasing me. And I think that was the beginning of my confusion.
No, not really …though I must say she frightened me… not physically I was not accustom to such things… especially anybody liking me… Well, not like that. I then actually thought she was crazy and I never ever once spoke to her face to face until many years later… when we came across each other in a gay club. But back then I did not understand her. I had never heard of the word ‘lesbian’ or knew anything about 2 women or 2 girls doing anything sexually.
But I do remember loving to watch things like Miss U. S. A. and Miss America. I loved looking at those beautiful women from a very early age. And once while in elementary school I became very infatuated with a 4th grade teacher. She was not 1 of my teachers …but she was young and pretty and drove a fancy blue convertible car. From that moment on blue became my favorite color… that is until I got ‘Saved’… then everything changed including me.
Perhaps, this was not Bruce’s experience. Maybe someone had taken sexual advantage of him early. And since Bruce was handsome… maybe somebody kept telling how pretty he was a young child… all these kind of things can confusion a young child.
I have no doubt that Bruce is confused… the root cause could be a number of anything. But today Bruce chooses to act out his fantasy… of him being a woman. And it is a fantasy… because when it has all been all said and done… no matter how many pills Bruce takes to fem himself up and mask his voice… and bring forth breasts… down beneath Bruce will still be Bruce… and Caitlyn is and will be forevermore just make believe.
It seems that Bruce has been playing games all his life… and now he is going for the gold again in his role as Caitlyn Jenner. But don’t look for an Academy Award at the end Bruce… because it ain’t coming. Cause this whole thing is just a fairytale… and I’m really glad that I didn’t decide to play like I was adopted… I might have ended up looking and acting and being just as ridiculous as Bruce is looking trying to pretend he is a woman… and like that Dolezal woman pretending like she is black while knowing good and well she white. It is all make-believe.
And what message and/or messages is all of this sending out to young children who have yet to come of age… but who are being bombarded with all the wrong images… and who by all indications are already as confused as they can be about so many other things… like what parenthood is really all about… and now this … trying to determine where they are really a boy or really a girl… all this sexual identity stuff too?
All of this confusion about whether they look better as a girl or a boy only plays to make them more confused as who they truly are… because now they have options that were never on the table before. ‘Man’ has creates too many choices… when God only gave us 1… and that is to be what and who He created us to be. So, then who is ‘man’ to say, ‘I can turn you into whatever you want to sexually be.’
I recall sitting at home wishing I saw more gay images on television. Something that related to what I was feeling and going through. But today I can clearly say I am happy that they were not out there… or at least… not out there as loudly or boldly and robust as what we see on television today… and in all mainstream media like crazy.
Of, course… young kids and even children are going to be drawn into what they watch… see and hear. It does impact them in so many many different ways. Which is exactly why back in the day grown people kept little children out of their conversations and often tried to keep them away from things that group folks talked about. But that is not the case today.
Kids are being introduced to far too much far too soon… and definitely far too early.
Yeah, perhaps I was a late bloomer… but thank God I was. Who knows where I would be today… and what I might still be doing in the gay lifestyle I was living in… and particularly if the world had been as it is today.
No, I don’t believe we should be in people’s bedroom unless they are doing something illegal. I hate child molesters and abusers… or people who take people for sex slaves… and especially people who are attracted to small children sexually to abuse them… or those who ruin animals and dogs etc. Because that is crazy, vicious… and certainly beyond any limits I can sympathize with or agree upon. These kind of people need to be done away with… and quickly …and never to be seen again.
But then some people feel that way about gay people too… but that is ignorance. I do understand gay people and things they want and strive for… and have worked to make happen. Years ago they sought to activate themselves and unify their efforts for social change and acceptance. And I am not against that. Well, not totally.
I say let people be if they are violating any laws. We can’t change them… and they are beyond for the most part listening to us. So, you are just beating a dead horse with a stick… unless they let some light shine in on their life.
But at the same time I can see the costs that all of this of what we see today is doing …and what is happening so rapidly around us… and what it is really coming to… and why it has come upon us as it has. That reason being because people failed to be tolerate years ago to the needs and concerns of the gay community… by trying to keep them invisible. And now look at what has happened… the exact opposite… and this thing has gone so overboard… too overboard that it really has gone much too far... to the point now where many people are engaging in changing their sex.
Does every television show have to have a lesbian or gay male couple in it… or someone who is openly (flaming) gay… kissing and/or making love?
EVERY television show???
Is there really a ‘gay agenda?’
Yes, there is… and it started many years ago when gays decided that they were fed up and weren’t going to take it any more… and decided to become judges and law makers etc…etc…etc.
So, the laws have been changed and now the Supreme Court has stepped into the foray and declared that ALL states have to allow gay marriages. That to me is not really a big thing since I had been to a few gay marriages long before any laws on gay marriage had even been proposed and entered into the law books in any of the States.
But it is the issue of re-defining things that bothers me. Must we re-define everything?
Does every group in America have to be satisfied?
Clearly, there are things which should not be played with… abridged or supported or rectified or corrected.
And those things which I speak of have to do with what God has created and ordained… and what He has defined… such as family. Now, I know I am starting to sound like 1 of those self-righteous preachers… but I am not. I clearly recognize that there are many different types of family… as we organize ourselves in many different ways. And that is okay… as there are adoptive families… biological families… estranged families… foster families… and families where parents may be gay or whatever. But the family organism was designed by God when He created Eve for Adam. So, marriage really was meant to be between a man and a woman… and that is Biblical. But that does not mean that the family structure has not adapted or revolved into many different individual structures suited for the needs of the people involved in those circumstances… as in the case of Abraham and Lot, who was Abraham’s nephew.
However, marriage is something totally different… it is meant to unite 2 people… the husband to the wife. Though this too has become corrupted over time… as many people jump in and out of marriage today. And many non-gay people do not want to marry instead they prefer to just live together… whereas many gay people want to marry and fought to legalize their unions with each other… and many times it has grown out of a need to ensure the rights of their lover to whatever possessions they acquired together from greedy family who might want to step in and take everything from their lover upon their death. I have seen that happen.
I don’t care whether 2 men want to walk around and call each other ‘husbands’ or 2 women calling each other ‘wives.’ So, that does not disturb me. But what does disturb me is people changing their driver’s license …and passports… and birth certificates to say that they are a ‘woman’ or a ‘man’ when they clearly are not. They were not biologically born as one… and can really never really be a ‘real woman’ or ‘real man’ though they may have cut off everything… pilled themselves to death creating breasts and changed their voice tones to that of a woman or man… or removed their Adam’s apples or muscles in their arms… and in the case of women …had their breasts removed. All of this is crazy and has become the latest rage around America and the world. It has become a fad… like tattooing or piercing has become for many.
Tell me why you would want to be a man… call yourself a man… look and sound like a man… and then want to walk around pregnant?
It is odd to turn yourself into looking and sounding like a man… and then want to have a baby …and then turn around and want to call yourself the first man to have a baby. Something is wrong with that picture… and I cannot agree with it because it is not natural nor does it make sense… for a woman to pretend she is a man and then talk about she is re-defining motherhood. Motherhood has already been perfectly defined. And what these type of people are trying to do is totally and absolutely not in alignment with the will of God.
Furthermore, I see painfully so many young people slipping into this thing… because it is presented to them today as being acceptable… and a happy way of being. I could never see me dressing my son up or allowing him to dress up as a little girl.
No, I’m going to declare the manhood of my child… or womanhood over my child for as long as I can. Because somebody needs to. It is a sad thing when a parent has no clarity on how to be a good and loving parent without compromising everything to the devil. I refuse to just turn my child over to the devil.
But some parents are doing just that. Young people have no real knowledge of what they are getting into when they make these choices are made… like going through a sex change. If only they really knew… it’s not a game and should not be done.
These kids are not there when the lights go down and these pretenders… people who have converted themselves pull down the shades. They do not see the tears or feel the pain of these people when the pretense cannot hide the unhappiness or emptiness inside of never finding satisfaction or true acceptance or anyone who ‘really loves you’ because of the games they chose to play… and end up realizing the ‘joke’ was on them.
There is little wonder why still… alcoholism and drug abuse is so very high in the gay community. And why suicide still permeates… because you can’t play games with yourself and expect to truly be happy.
There is no happiness in life when 1 is living outside of the will of God. You may be able to fool yourself believing that you are happy. But deep inside you are not happy. I know because I once thought that I was happy living in ‘the life’… very happy… but I know today that I was never ever happy in that life.
Oh, for a while I felt that I had found a place where I belonged… but it was not where I belonged at all. And I thank God for loving me enough to desire me… and to have called me out of lesbianism… and that He gave me ears to hear His call upon me to come out from among them. Today I now walk in liberty.
Had God not called me out… or my parents not love enough to have not cast me out… I have no doubt that I would still be in that life. Today I marvel at all the tricks the devil tries to play upon me to pull me back into that life. I have never in my life been chased by so many women. But when I was in ‘the life’ I was certainly no magnet. But now that I am out of ‘the life’ here they come. Many times I find it annoying… at times comical …and most recently very tempting… because temptations do come even to the drug addict or the alcoholic or the cigarette smoker etc… etc… But I thank God He still has a hold on me. I won’t go back… not ever.
Through the course of life there are many things that we are going to have to battle. Acceptance is something that every child comes face to face with as they are growing up… and many children feel different. But then none of us are the same anyways… we are all different. And ‘yes’ strange thoughts enter our heads… like desires to kiss a boy or maybe a girl. But those desire do not necessarily define who you truly are.
With all these images bombarded at you… or maybe a boy or girl in school who has been abused and is acting out and that person takes an interest in you… and perhaps it lights a fire in you that was not there before… but this does not mean that is truly you. But allowing these thoughts to linger or by playing with them in our heads they will push us towards acting them out. And this is why I am not in favor of all these lesbian or gay or transgender images that we see on television today… because they are unleashed upon public in such a seductive and intriguing way… too seductive and too intriguing for anyone too vulnerable to those kind of images and thoughts to not get caught in the trap …for which they are designed to seduce.
So, today on TV you have Raul Paul and his gang of queens who during that show can teach you how to tuck your stuff… apply make-up and everything else. And you have the Prancing Elite… who may well be the most fab guys in the world but what they are projecting upon young boy children in terms of manhood… is not good. There is no in between human being… or any conversion into something else because we feel it suits us. We are what God created… and if we don’t like it… we can’t tweak it. Least we are not suppose to.
It is all too much… and it is being shoved down our throats in a mighty way… that can only lead to doom. And nothing
saddens me more than to see how this confusion is truly overtaking over this world… and how we are loosing grip upon what is true… and that which is really real… in order to accept ‘political correctness’… a trick term… in order to seduce people into a trap of just going along with everything… or believing we can be anything else other than what God has made us to be.
If I were not moved to have to tell you the truth… then I too would be guilty of trying to be ‘politically correct’… by simply saying nothing… which is another form of lying even though I said nothing. But by being ‘politically correct’ you can’t help anybody and it would not be helpful to anybody if ‘political correctness’ was used and we all just simply started playing their games along with them… and calling ‘him’ ‘she’ and ‘she’ ‘him.’
It is not my desire to tear anyone down. But truth is a hard pill to swallow. It is time for truth and not a bunch of lies… like telling Bruce Jenner he looks beautiful. When you know the man looks like a joke…
Well, God bless…. I pray for every family and for all mankind.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2015
2 comments June 29, 2015
It is hard to know where to begin with this blog since I have so many different things on my mind. But let me begin with this…
As I just came across it on a Facebook post… where the mayor in Houston had proposed to allow transgender people to legally use the bathroom facilities that they identify with.
Needless to say… why write certain things into law?
They already do it. So, such a thing is really kind of stupid. But the other side of the coin is this …writing such a thing into law opens the door for many women to become victimized by men looking for new opportunities in ways to victimize women. What I mean by this is this.
Most times women go into a bathroom… it is usually not full… not unless you are at a club or some large social setting. A lot of times we are the only ones in bathrooms. When we enter the ladies room we do not expect anyone stronger than us to overpower us and shove us into stalls to rape us… or to carry out any other type of crime that people perpetrate against women. But such a city ordinance would open the door for such a thing to happen to women. As just anybody could walk into any bathroom they wanted and not necessarily have in mind the intention of using the toilet.
Not to mention women often allow their children to go into the ladies room… most of the time under their care. But such an ordinance would put at risk both a mother and a child if a deranged person were watching them… and then followed them into a co-ed bathroom. Whereas such a person entering into the ladies’ room would easily be spotted if the bathroom facilities were not co-ed.
In places where perpetrators look for unsuspecting victims …such as in movie theaters and amusement parks where there are always large number of children this type of policy would be very disastrous.
But is this thing right?
I say, ‘No.’
And it is a resounding ‘no.’
Perhaps I am a little bit too caution. Or maybe you just think I am being super homophobic. But it is not the homosexuals I am thinking about. I’m thinking about the people who would take such an ordinance and use it to prey upon certain people…such as unsuspecting women and possible children, as many times children do go into bathrooms with their mothers. And these people are not gay… they are rapists… child molesters… predators of every sort.
And believe me… I would rather fall on the side of a little per-caution rather than hearing someone say, ‘I’m sorry. We never dreamed this sort of thing would happen.’
All this might stem from the fact that I was abused as a child. I really don’t know. Or it may stem from the fact that I have been stalked several times. Now, that I do know.
I think about it this way… if it ain’t broke ‘don’t fix it.’
What is wrong with having the women’s bathroom for women, and the men’s bathroom for the men?
Has not that system worked all these years?
With regards to the home situation… Well, is totally different. We are at home. We all know each other… ans supposedly nobody is trying to prey upon another. We grow up using bathrooms inside the home as a family. But in public the same principles do not apply. And it has always been broken down as facilities for men… and separate facilities for women.
Why mess with that now?
One could say that this is the problem that we have with our medical system in this country today. Who in the world started messing with it?????
We had a system that used to work. People used to be able to see qualified doctors not just people tied into their medical plans, who only issue prescriptions for medication manufacturers tied to pharmaceutical companies who own their plans… to whom their now doctors are also tied to. Kind of a vicious little circle… called lets keep the money in-house. And that is exactly what they do… if they can.
Sure our old medical system might have had issues… lets face it nothing is perfect. But it had worked fine for hundreds… maybe thousands of years more or less as it was. The pluses were (1) you could pick and chose your own doctors. (2) Hospitals had to treat people whether they had insurance or not. And (3) if a doctor wasn’t working for you… you could just pick up your marbles and go to another one without asking the doctor you are trying to rid yourself of… to write you a ‘referral.’
Who thought of this ‘doctor’s referral‘ thing?
We are not children. Why do we need to ask a doctor ‘may I?’
Or ‘can I?’
And if they won’t then… you can’t. You are just plain STUCK.
That is just a little bit too much control over patients if you asked me.
But going back to my original issue with removing ‘MEN’ and ‘WOMEN‘ signs from public toilets….or those little pictures that mean ‘MEN’ or ‘WOMEN’ toilet facilities. I clearly understand what probably escapes many people… is that who is going to get blamed when stuff starts going wrong with making such an sane which to our long established system of public toilet facilities.
Most people like to believe that the people who perpetrate crimes on children… particularly on boys… little boys are all gay. If you only knew. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you could only hear some of the gay guys talking on this subject, then you would certainly know THAT to be a lie. Most gay men… and women… if not all of them… hate people who perpetrate sexual crimes against children …or anyone else for that matter.
I know personally that many gay people get mad when these people… sexual perverts such as NAMBLER… North American Man/Boy Love Association… attempt to tie or associate themselves to the gay community. Mostly because those men involved in that kind of thing are not gay. They think of themselves as straight men who merely love having sex with very very young boys. These men are low life predators. A bunch of six depraved men with warped minds. Of whom I have absolutely no tolerance whatsoever for.
The Nambler men are sexual deviants straight out of hell who prey upon very very young boys while living what appears to be very regular lives as heterosexual men… and men who seek out very very young little girls to do the same… they are just as intolerable. They are all highly deceitful. Many are married and/or have girlfriends… some even have their own children.
We are living in a time when laws and ordinances are being created and made that will cause more harm to our society … than at any other time. And crimes are becoming more and more heinous… and laws more and more lacks.
Who thought of legalizing marijuana?
Who approved it?
Now, you not only have to careful and the lookout for drunken drivers… or those under the influence of all those other long recognized nonlegal and legal drugs out there. But now also have to be on the lookout for people driving around buzzed… under the influence of marijuana, whose system is just as whacked out and as much impacted by effects of marijuana as anyone who has been drinking or using some other narcotic drug.
Now, these guys are selling marijuana stocks and bonds on Wall Street to fund their marijuana farms.
This whole thing is becoming very insane. My father would say… ‘the world is going out backwards.’ And it truly is.
Pandora’s box is being left wide open. And there is no turning back the terrible tide that it is unleashing upon this world.
Fools and depraved minds have taken over our Courts and government. They are creating laws and writing into place legislation that are turning this world upside down.
Having been in ‘the life‘ for many years, of course, I do understand why gay people wanted the right to be legally married. I myself had personally witnessed and knew of several relationships where one partner or lover had died. After having spent many years together I saw where families stepped in following the death of their family member deciding to take over everything from the surviving lover in that relationship… including the funeral arrangements. Just ripping everything out of the hands of the surviving partner or lover.
They may have had amassed a house… and/or a business… or other items purchased and/or paid for together… or co-owned by the both of them… but in came their family. They took control over the dead body… and eventually forced the surviving partner out.
So, yes I can understand how having some level of law to protect what 2 people had accumulated together would be helpful to them. Particularly in light of greedy family members… who many times cast off their gay family member years ago… only to re-emerge following their death to declare to their surviving lover ‘you don’t own anything here… and get out.’ But then I have seen that in heterosexual relationships too… where people lived together for years and failed to marry.
But did the law governing marriage have to be rewritten to provide for that is my question?
I think not. That right could have been gotten a whole entire way without trying to redefine marriage as something other than what God intended marriage to be… and between whom He intended it be between.
But their are people who have been put in place to bring about any change that delights that other spirit that also inhabits this world. Just a chosen few people in the right places is all it takes to set about a change that effects everyone in the land. And that is the problem with our system… it doesn’t take the masses to do it any more.
Today just a small group of people can decide to do something… and BAM! It is done. Things changed that you never thought you would see changed.
Who would have guessed that marijuana would ever get legalized in this country?
Next it will be crack cocaine… then cocaine and everything else. Why not… it all makes money?
Even lying after Bush became acceptable if it somehow can be seen to serve greater good. Or some kind of meaningful …or in Bush’s case devante purpose. But nobody started throwing stones at him when they finally found out he lied about ‘weapons of mass destruction,’ as a means for him to invade Iraq and start an unnecessary war, in order to push up gas prices and make his family richer. And that it ended up killing millions of Americans, mostly young college kids for no good cause.
There is someone somewhere making BIG BUCKS from marijuana …and that you can bet your money on it. Otherwise, how did marijuana stocks hit the stock market so quickly?
And who are the really people cashing in on it?
Probably the people who have always been at the top of the illegal American drug trade in the first place.
No, there are things happening in our government today… that even those guys on Capitol Hill… the insiders know and are dealing with …who are pulling all the strings to our never before. And because we now live in a global economy… our inter-actions in the global world… wield lots of global influence… that person or persons may not even be American… nor Americans. But they are for real.
They are getting things done that no of us ever dreamed would ever be done. And the change that they are effecting is not for the good of this country.
Not at all.
If, indeed, legislators were legitimately looking to legislate some good policy they should take a look at the evils in this world and sincerely seeks ways to remove and/or lessen them… not open the doors for more to come about.
But the 1 thing that stays on my mind about that whole thing is how nearly 300 school girls were kidnapped from their school… and nobody did nothing?
How did that happen?
Most of the problem in this case stems from world interest in this story and the fact that the Nigerian government officials do not want the involvement of outsider aid… such as the United States… in assisting them in freeing the girls … or seeking freedom for them. Most of it boils down to political pride on the part of the Nigerian officials not wanting it to be seen as they cannot handle their own affairs. Of which they evidently cannot based upon the kidnapping of these young girls they are in dire need of some help… from someone.
Why be so proud that you cannot accept assistance in such a matter as this?
It is foolish. If any of the government official’s daughters were involved they wouldn’t be able to accept help quick enough. But it is evident that none of their daughters is at risk.
There is no telling as to what is happening to those young girls when you consider the treatment of women who have be taken by such groups as the bunch of criminals who claimed that they took these girls. It is not uncommon for women/girls to be raped, beaten and abused in an array of various ways including sold into bondage and prostitution.
I am thankful we have a President who cares about Africa …and her people. Thank you, President Obama.
I know people are going to think I am whack-co but since I am on the subject let me take a moment to go back and hit upon this subject regarding transgender individuals as well. It appears to me that this whole thing is becoming more and more rampant. It has become a trend …and it is growing fast.
There was once a time when transgender and yes, even drag queens were kind of looked down upon. But a boom is on to change all of that. Their ranks are growing… and growing even at early ages.
It is almost becoming a fab now among many in the gay community. Kind of like all this body piercing and tattooing that has grown so popular… and tattooing lately. And not only has it become popular… trendy… but it is even becoming acceptable to many outside of the gay community.
Few people used to talk about such things as ‘I feel like I was born to be a man’ if they were a woman… or vise versa. But there is lots of chatter about that now. The seeds have been laid… and it has become like a ranging fire swirling out of control.
It kind of reminds of my niece saying to me 1 Sunday, ‘Auntie, I don’t want to go to this church any more. I’m not being fed.’
Not being fed?
What did she know about not being fed. It was not she like she was saved or anything… or even paying any attention much during our church services. But she had heard someone else said it. And that was all she needed… to being her own reverberating of those words ‘I’m not being fed.’
The true being told no church was going to feed her spiritually as she, at that point, was not really interested in being in church at all anyways.
So, what I am trying to say here is this… all these people declaring that they are something other than what God created them to be… be it male or female. They have been bitten by a bug… and the world today is full of people who follow what other people do. This stems from hearing something like ‘I never felt comfortable being a girl’… following somebody sitting on some television show… national, of course… sounding and looking every bit like a man or ever bit like a woman. And the viewer internalizes that notion and begins feeling and saying that exact same thing… as they start working their way to becoming a transitioning something or other.
It is really rather sad to me. But who knows …when the devil had me… he really had me too. So, who knows if this trend had been so hot and heavy in my days what I might not have elected to do it too?
Perhaps I should not cast any stones. But thank God that is not my mind today. For the devil no longer has be captive.
But now I am seeing them everywhere… transgender people. And reading and hearing more and more about people ‘transitioning.’ Meaning slipping out of being 1 type of sexual being into another… as in going from being… or appearing to be male to appearing to be female via surgery, shots and medication etc.
For a while now I have been thinking about a friend of mine who recently was informed by her daughter to begin calling her ‘Harry’ or some nonsense… (I am kind of playing with the name here as I do not wish to disclose the real name). But yes, she has begun eating up all those pills and seeking to undergo the surgery.
I cannot think of anything more which resembles self-hate more to me than an act such as this. And the thing seems to have become more and more popular… and widespread among those in the gay community.
And that is what they say ‘I hated myself because I knew I was suppose to be a girl.’
You know what the devil is the great deceiver. All of my life until most recently I used to think of myself as being ugly. I really thought I was ugly and never like taking pictures. I didn’t want any mirrors in my room. I rarely looked at myself in the mirror. But you know what a few years ago I started thinking about something…
I have been stalked at least 5 times in my life if not more. And I started thinking about that.
I had had some very beautiful girlfriends… but none of them had ever been stalked. Or least ways not to my knowledge. So, I wondered 1 day ‘why me?’
It was not until I started trying to get a picture for the back cover of my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, that I discovered something. And it came about shortly after I got saved… and came into the realization that God never created anything ugly.
So, now as I was looking for a picture for my book… I also began to see myself in a new and very different light. And in that light I realized that I had never ever been ugly.
I laugh at it now because for over 40 nearly 50 years I had felt that I was not attractive at all. I just never saw what I see now… and I have attached this picture of me so you can see too. Isn’t it funny. Stalked at least 5 times …and I mean seriously stalked. Once so bad I almost had a nervous breakdown because I became so terrified. And I have been stalked by men and women.
But once I came into the light… and the scales were removed from my eyes I began to see me that had always been there… but I had never seen before because… to me … in my eyes then I was ugly.
So, now you see me. And, of course, that is me below also. But when the devil has your mind …he can make you believe anything… even that you are man when you really are a woman. God does not make mistakes. But the devil does… and often. Don’t let him fool you too.
When my friend’s daughter… her other daughter called me up and told me the story about her decisions to become a man… my mind began to take a tumble. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around anyone wanting to destroy them-self in such a horrid way as this… as an act of trying to re-order their sexual gender would be doing. And all I could think of was the woman… really a man who tried to join Salsa-Soul Sisters. An act which met with such furry that the person was totally forced out of our group sessions and following that night stopped entirely coming to our Salsa-Soul Sisters meetings at all.
Those lesbians called an emergency meeting where immediately they voted in unanimously ‘that no person who is not born bio-logically a woman could ever be a board meeting of Salsa-Soul.’ And they meant every word of it.
And I mean they all rush into that meeting that night… for that emergency meeting. The only emergency meeting I think Salsa ever had. Sisters I hadn’t seen in years… some I even think got up out the grave to attend that meeting.
It was a pivotal point in Salsa-Soul Sisters history that night. I think in the lesbian world really… in how we all view some things… Salsa was a scared female only organization. So, a man… even 1 dressed up as a woman.. with boobs etc… Well, a thing like that was not acceptable to us… to none of us. And a man… going through a sex change to become a woman so he could be a lesbian… was not acceptable to those real 100% lesbian women who came into that meeting to voice their opinions on the matter… and it would never be and they made sure of that. Lease ways not as a board member of their prized and beloved organization… Salsa Soul Sister, Inc. And I have to say… I agreed.
But the odd point is this … as freaky as that whole thing was to me… and as it was to my fellow Salsa-Soul Sisters… I never saw where it might ever become a larger issue. A world issue… if you get my drift. As I now see it becoming.
This thing is large and it incorporates changing legal documents which are adjusted to the conform and affirm the status, name etc. of the said person. This includes drivers licenses and everything… which once read ‘male’ are now changed to read ‘female.’ And to me that is scary. Because these people move away from home where nobody knows them and present themselves to unsuspecting people as someone totally different from who they really were born to be… and they look many of them every bit the part of who they are trying to pretend to be… and sound like it too with the help of all of what they are taking by way of medication to assist in their incredible changes.
If questioned about it… saying that someone questioned if they were a man or a woman?
All they have to do is pull out this new false licenses, passports etc… listing their new names, social security numbers and sex on them. And who could argue that they were not who or what they claimed to be.
Today the amount of people opting to change their sex is staggering to me. It is like a fad with many people deciding to do it… like changing an old hat or pulling off an old tee shirt.
Whenever I am talking to the sister of the daughter who is going through this type of change… which is called ‘transitioning,’ I avoid speaking about her sister at all now. As the thing really is a bit too much for me… and I would rather not hear about it. But I understand that she has had her breast removed and her voice is changing. And ‘yes’ she is beginning to grown facial hair… so the process of looking more and more like the male species is well underway for her … as well as, sounding like 1.
The sister has told me that her mother and everybody else in the family is calling her ‘him’ now… and by his adaptive name… ‘Harry.’ Which really surprised me. Because I would not have believed that their mother would have fallen into that game… and it is a game. Really it is. And it is a game that I just cannot play… because it would be lying… and too accepting of your child going through that process.
If your child was a robber would you accept that?
I think not. Then why accept a change that is going to alter your child into someone or something you will no longer recognize …and living in such a diverse lifestyle that is bound to bring them nothing but unhappiness later on down the road… if not already And it will.
I hear that Chaz… Cher’s daughter has found that it may have been the wrong choice for her… in altering herself or attempting to alter herself into a man. Let’s face it… Chaz will always be known as Cher’s daughter whether they call her Chasity of not. We can all agree that she looks and sounds ever bit like a man. But at the end of the day she is just a woman who had a sex change. And THAT, my friend… really doesn’t add up to being a ‘real man.’
How could I go around calling someone ‘her’ or ‘she’ when I know that they are a ‘he or a her?’
And since I would rather not hurt their feelings it is best ‘we’ do not come together at all.
Now, I am not for disowning people. Or throwing away ones children. That would be down right wrong. But we cannot accept all kinds of junk either. A parent cannot discard their child… and should not. But this whole ‘I changing my sex thing’ certainly should not be forced down any parent’s throat either. That is the feeling I got about my friend’s daughter… she had no respect of what or how her parents felt about it. Or cared about how they felt about it. It was her way or no way. So, her mother conceded and began calling her daughter ‘he’ and ‘him’ … and whatever name she is calling herself.
I had lovers… a few of them even met my parents. But I was 1 of those people who was very discrete about my relationship with the women I went to bed with. I certainly never kissed or held their hands in the company of my parents… or out in mixed company anywhere. In fact, while in the company of my parents it never came to me to want to. Because… I guess I respected them too much to want to.
I have always maintained and still maintain… that my life is my life. I also felt that it was not necessary for me to go shouting through the streets or around world who I was sleeping with. And I have always maintained that I really did not care who other people were sleeping with as long as it was not involving children or animals. Outside of that… it really wasn’t any of my business.
Though I had a friend working at a radio station in New York and 1 evening I accompanied her to the radio station, and upon greeting someone she noted to me privately ‘that he likes young boys.’ She went on to say, ‘boys between 4 and 7.’ I never went back to the radio station with her after that… because all I could do was kind of stare at the guy and think that somebody should put him out of his misery. Such people have to be sad people to me.
How could you live with yourself doing such a thing?
I don’t know how she could work in a place like that… with someone like that. I could barely make it through the evening knowing what she had told me about him.
But how does anyone share information like that with anyone?
And how does anyone not report him?
And you would have had to have seen the guy… never would you have guessed it. Tall… muscular… good looking kind of guy… normal on the outside. But dark on the inside… filled with some deep dark secrets. It was written in his eyes… I think.
Why or how he managed to share them… that kind of information about himself and his sexual forays with my friend I do not know. But that was all she had to say to me to keep me away from that radio station ever again. But I have never forgotten him. Because there was something rather sad about him… as well. You cannot live like that… or that kind of life and not be sad. A very sad sad person.
But back to this transgender revolution that is exploding all over the place. It is sad to see how the world is going backwards. How twisted and turned around people are becoming. There is a lost of direction… and everything bad seems to be in. Or appears to be the latest thing to do. Even Bruce Jenner, step dad of the Kardashians and an Olympic champion, in his younger days… has gotten in on the transgender act. I is hard for me to see or understand why so many people are electing to do so… or are so guns-hoo for it. It boggles the mind.
And what is even more mind boggling to me… is the fact that many once they undergo their change now classify themselves as being ‘straight.’ Meaning they do not want to be classified as being gay or transgender etc… etc… at all. They think of themselves as being totally man or woman… not transformed being. This thing is crazy.
That is what I think about this whole new thing… crazy. This whole thriving world of transgender individuals…. people who think that it is ‘hip’ … I am dating myself here I know but I can’t think of another word that fits better than ‘they think it is ‘hip.’ ‘Hip’ to be an ‘it.’
I have seen them… seen pictures of them… and they seem to be happy outwardly…and loving who they are pretending to be. But I know that is a lie. You cannot be really happy or love anything …and be out so of alignment with God.
You did know this part was coming. Least ways I hope you did… because I could not leave this blog without bringing Him up. He does play a factor… a major factor in all of this. Especially since He created us all.
Oh, you can appear to be happy. But appearing to be happy and being happy are 2 totally different things.
What God has made us to be… that is what we are. And no doctor or amount of chemicals or operations can change it. Your DNA is your DNA and that is God’s doing. Everything else is meant to be confusion… strife… and deceitful.
Do not let the devil destroy you. And if your child is dealing with these issues remember you can’t change them… therapy can’t change them… but God can. He changes and mind and the heart… He changed mines. Just keep your children lifted up in prayer. Pray without ceasing and love on them …and let God do His perfect work in them.
My parents prayed for me. And you see me as I am today… God made a new creature out of me. And He didn’t need any medication or shots or surgery to do it.
One last thing before I get out of here…
This woman here and her daughter… turned male supposedly… are just looking for a reality show deal on the backs of this whole transgender mess. If they don’t already have 1. The thought of it makes me sick… because it puts out there this concept of changing your sexual identity is alright… that it is good… and okay… and above all… it can make you happy and ‘in.’ And so many many many people are just looking for anything that will make them ‘in’… they are looking for anything that make them more friends or gather them some attention. They are looking for their 15 minutes of fame and possible fortune.
And if you ask me this woman is definitely pimping her daughter… and the look of her daughter’s face…says she is loving every minute of it. It is all about money, baby
You do see what her cap says don’t you?
Or maybe they are both just pimping each other…
Well, God bless…. I have got to get started on something else before I get out of here. So, I have to end now. But you will not believe that I actually wrote this blog several weeks ago… and I am now just getting around to adding all the finishing touches to it today. Oh, well… Hope you enjoy your weekend and I truly do God will bless you and keep you well.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
When you watch this stuff it really really makes you scared for the world… and all its people. It is frightening times because the devil is taking the minds… hearts… and bodies of our children. And some parents are aiding in that process.
This stuff is sick… and very distressing… Perilous times…. II Timothy 3:1…
UPDATE: Wednesday, July 10, 2014….Okay, I’ve just finished watching the graduation speech to the college in the video above by the (I hate to say ‘he-she’ above)… but you know what?
I think whoever termed that phrase got it right. And for a truth they were way ahead of their time when they first started saying it.
Times have gone crazy. Why would you invite a transsexual to be your graduating class main speaker?
Alright, maybe I could see it if the person had done some type of fantastic or earth scattering deed… discovered something (other than he wanted to be a woman and was now pretending to be one). But all this guy does is pull at his very bad weave and talk about himself. I must admit that I have known more than my share of drag queens who loved to do the very same. But nobody paid them ‘x’ amount of dollars or extended an invitation to them to come and be the guest speaker of their class graduation at some college.
I must be missing something. And I am not trying to be funny… but I kind of liked it when we celebrated people for ‘really’ achieving something other than cutting off their penises… or attempting to grow 1. This is sick…truly.
And I know somebody is not going to like it. They will call me homophobic and everything else. And I can live with that.
But what I cannot live with… is me sitting around and being quiet as I watch this world sink into holes it will never ever be able to pull itself out of again. Pandora’s box is open…
One thing about everything when you are growing up. Everything is a joke to you… until it isn’t a joke. Don’t be caught unawares…
Add a comment June 20, 2014
His name is B. Scott and he classifies himself as being androgynous… kind like what Michael wanted to be… somewhere between being male and female.
I have seen few people who have pretended to be as happy as B. Scott pretends like he is. When I was in ‘the life’ I thought I was happy too. But I never pretended like I was over joyed with it. Over a period of time I just came to accept it… which I guess if you finally settle upon ‘this is who I am’ you tend to do. You just start to kind of accept it. Which is what B. Scott said he finally came to do.
Though I have seen thousands of gay guys and women who acted like they were super dupper happy being gay. I had also seen them …many of them in the tears because they wished they could be like everyone else.
When I watched this video on YouTube by B. Scott… the 1 below… it really prompted me to write this blog. Because there were a few things that he said that really gave me insight as to who he is… and why.
(I’ve got to find the right video) But in the YouTube video B. tells of how people used to say to him when he was a little boy, ‘You so pretty you should have been born a girl.’
In hearing that it made me think of my son, who at the age of 13… 1 day broke down and started crying saying to me that I would never be a grandmother. Then he said that he must be ‘gay’ because everyone told he that.
How could I defeat what he was saying?
At the time I was not saved. I was speechless and did not know what to say. I was shocked.
I must confess to being 1 of those gay mothers who was seriously homophobic… terribly. But I never pushed my thoughts nor my fears over onto my son. Well, I hope not… certainly never intentionally. But there was a period in my life when he could nothing right. I hollered at him about everything. I did not realize that I was doing that though until a woman who was part of my film shoot on my short film… a niece to Florida of ‘Good Times’… pointed it out to me and talked to me about it. She said, ‘Why are you always yelling at him?’
I never realized that I did. But I am glad she brought it to my attention. I might have drove my son away… but thank God that did not happened. That big headed boy took me out to dinner last night… to very expensive sea food restaurant that we both like. But I do not love him because he treats me to thing… or buys me stuff… I love him because he is ‘my son.’ And I thank God for him.
I had never heard anyone call him that… that word… ‘gay.’ Though I think they were careful not to do so while I was around… as I would not have liked it. Though I must say that at an early age I started to feel like I was seeing certain signs of it. But here is where I want to tell you how the devil works.
You are not seeing anything that the devil has not put in your mind. Your young children know nothing about sex… but the devil will toy with your brain and make you believe you are seeing things which are not there.
You don’t believe me????
Let me share with you this. One night while in my apartment in downtown Brooklyn…. as I was leaving the living room to go towards my bedroom I looked down at the floor. Upon looking down I saw the floor was covered with large water bugs everywhere. I mean swarming with them everywhere. I quickly looked up and said to myself, ‘the devil is a liar.’
I don’t know where that came from… but that is what I said. Then I looked back down at the floor and there were no water bugs anywhere. It had all been a figment of my imagination… brought about from the devil knowing that I had a fear of those things. Which came about by the fact that occasionally I would see a water bug in my apartment… something that my landlord refused to believe.
But that night the devil had decided that he was going to drive me mad… meaning crazy by presenting to me a ton of those horrible things crawling all over my apartment floor around me… and they covered my entire apartment floor. But I did not go crazy. God kept my mind… because He did not let me fall for it. I merely shut my eyes for whatever reason… (as I did not know it was God’s doing at the time)… I just started believing that they were not there. You would have had to seen them. They were so real.
This is how I know that people can see things… which look as real as anything you can touch or feel… and it not really be there. It was just something that the devil presented to me… and had made it appear real to me because he knew I was afraid of those things. Of which New York seems to me have quite a few of them.
The woman in the above link killed her 4 year old son because she believed he was gay. The devil truly had her mind that she would have done such an insane thing. But he does and can plants seeds in your head… and make you see and hear things which are not really there. And if you are not careful… and you let them take root in you… you will believe what the devil has planted and will act out in whatever way he wants you to.
What does having a jump rope in your hand have to do with being gay?
So, what if a little boy wants to jump rope. It does not mean he wants to grow long hair and become a girl.
But my friend did not realize that she was planting seeds… that 1 day would grown into just what she was asking for.
I had wanted to badly to tell her that what she and other members in her family were doing to him in regards to calling her grandson a ‘girl’… or saying to him had some ‘girl in him’ was wrong. But I knew they would not listen to me… so I did not. But now in hindsight I realized I should have tried …if for no other reason other than for her grandson’s sake.
We must speak LIFE to your children. And do not let anyone speak DEATH to them… not even in joking. Calling your boy child a girl is speaking death to him… or your girl child a boy. Don’t do it. Encourage them to have fun… let them enjoy themselves as children without you putting all your own sexual hangups upon them.
So, when I watched and listened to the above video of B. Scott I realized just how he had come to be and why. I understand him… not so much because of what my son had said to me. But because I understand how little children can become confused as to who they are if people keep pushing them in some other direction by saying ignorant things to them that makes them believe what people are saying about them. And I guess that does kind of fit directly with what my son had said to me.
My entrance into ‘the life’ was very different… it had nothing to do with anyone calling me a ‘boy.’ Because frankly I never looked like 1… nor did I ever want to be 1. Though I wasn’t much of a baby doll playing little girl either. I don’t think I tried climbing trees… but I did try my hand at trying to fix a couple of things when I was young.
But being the oldest my youth was superseded by my having to learn how to do things at an early age… like washing dishes. I do not know how old I was when my father pushed a chair up to the kitchen sink… but that was the beginning of my years of me being our family dishwasher. Then I was taught how to cook… and the list goes on and on…
I was introduced to sex at a very early age. Not via any family members but outside of our home. Only twice had it happened. But it happened before I had a voice or knew I had a voice or any idea of what was happening. That is not to say I was an infant. I was just a very young innocent child of maybe 6…7… or 8. And the 2 times it happened they happened at varying times… not close or together. Maybe a year or so apart… can’t remember that part.
I made mention on 1 of the times in 1 of my other blogs not so long ago. It was a time that I almost got gang raped… but God said ‘no.’ That was the first time that someone took advantage of me. But those 2 experiences marked my life forever… and how I think and feel about people who take advantage or abuse children.
But contrary to what many people may say or think… sexual preference many times may not have anything to do with what you were indoctrinated to… or let me say it this way first introduced to sexually.
Though I have spoken to many gay guys and they had the opposite experience… and some women too. It did lead them into a life of homosexuality. And a lot of times it happened to them with someone who took advantage of them sitting in some position in the church… lived in their apartment building… was a close friend to their mother or father… and ‘yes’ even sometimes it was a relative… or a daughter or a son of the 1 their parent’s friend. One of my times was such a case as that. My mother must have known… as she never went to visit that friend ever again.
But going back to this guy B. Scott in watching his videos I felt sorry for him… because I understood him in ways that many people will never get to. And I also recognized his gaiety… or supposed happiness… really to be his sadness.
Love you, B. Scott. And hoping that 1 day God will do a work in your life like he did in mine. I hope the same for my son…. and the many sons and daughters dealing with identity problems… issues… or sexual confusion.
And I hope your laughter and smiles will become ‘real’… and turn into a joy that surpasses all understanding 1 day.
And that 1 day you will look into a mirror and see how really handsome you are… and start loving the ‘real’ you’ and not that the ones who were agents of devil told you were… but who God really made you to be.
Well, God bless…. I am really supposed to be doing something else right now. But I just wanted to take the time to do this blog really quickly. I hope that it falls upon fertile ground…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
2 comments April 17, 2014
Personally I have never quite understood the hype over Beyonce. I have seen a million and 1 sisters who can look or do look just like her… including 1 of my nieces.
Okay, then you want to say it is the way she can dance.
Please… What is she doing?
Nothing… that she has not copied from some Jamaican gals who have been jingling and shaking their stuff for quite some time now. And on Labor Day in Brooklyn you can catch as many as your eyes can see walking up Empire Blvd doing just that during the Jamaican Liberation Parade.
Empire Blvd becomes a haven of men with their eye bungling out of their heads at a bunch of young and old Jamaican women making their way up the Blvd in a parade shaking every piece of flab they’ve got… and a lot of it you don’t want to see.
Going back to Beyonce… it appears her following has developed into some worshipers… calling Beyonce a ‘deity.’ And they have developed their own church down in Atlanta, called THE NATIONAL CHURCH OF BEY.
If nothing else it should be crystal clear to you by this time that we are truly living in last days and times. And the evolution of Beyonce into a ‘god’ or ‘goddess’ can certainly be looked upon as a clear sign that Satan is busier than ever… and that there are some crazy folks out there.
“We are very disappointed in the failure of the public to recognize the existence of a divine Deity walking among them,” said the church’s founder Pauline John Andrews. This woman must be the supreme witch of the group as she is the founder of such a ludicrous religious start-up group of the Beyonce worshipers. I have heard of die hard fans… but this?
Come on… Why would some woman want to worship any other woman in the way that makes a religious goddess out of her?
Something is definitely wrong with that woman. And undoubtedly Beyonce is getting a charge out of… meaning she is loving it.
How do you become so taken with someone that you want to worship them?
Though I have heard of loving people to death. But this is beyond loving someone… even to that length. To death. Here the woman loves her unto heaven.
Now, how stupid is that?
And from what I hear Beyonce and her hubby are in their own diverse religion… that illuminati mess. Jay-z says he believes in 1 God… but not in hell. He does not believe in Christianity… meaning he does not believe in Jesus. That should speak volumes in of itself to many of you.
But going back to Beyonce… Oh, I have heard it said in movies… when men or women desire someone so much sexually that they will tell someone anything… even that they want to worship them. But before the end of the movie… the worship is all over and so wasn’t all that hot and heavy sexual desire that inspired those words.
I have heard too that Atlanta has a lot of strange things… and things Satanic going on. It can’t be that far behind New York City then… because I know for sure that New York has all kinds of crazy things going on.
I was very surprised 1 night when a very attractive black woman, well attired, very professional looking… walked into Salsa-Soul Sisters and began talking to us about S&M. It wasn’t until she pointed it out that I even noticed that she was dressed in all leather…black all leather… or maybe it was gray. But it was all leather. She called herself ‘1 of the leather people.’
I never knew much about S&M but that night I got a very in-depth lesson of what was supposed to be the ‘joys of being involved in S&M.’ Now, if you can get to that you might be a better person than me. No, a bigger fool than me… because can’t nobody tell me somebody standing over me while I am all handcuffed and tied up…being whipped by that person standing over me… with a whip or beating me with a belt buckle… can give me any joy. No, that you cannot tell me. I know much better than that. And I also knew something that I do not believe that woman ever recognized if she is still alive. And that is… that at any moment 1 of those fools could be subject to torture her to death… but even that thought might have been pleasurious to her.
Evidently, that woman had not processed that thought. For the woman claimed that she got pleasure out of what those S&M people had taught her and done to her. And she said she got mad at her friends because they had waited until she was 50 years old to introduce her to that lifestyle… and it is very much a lifestyle.
That woman also shared with us that night at Salsa-Soul Sisters that there was a restaurant in Manhattan that at a certain time of night shut it doors and locked them… and then the fun (if you care to call it that) began.
I was horrified when she told us that. Who would have ever had thought such a thing.
Full of people who were all into S&M?????
And all waiting on the clock to tick until they all got started on 1 another.
That woman also picked up what looked to me like a notebook jacket… and she pointed out that it bared the S&M flag. They had their own flag… a nation of people unto themselves. Who would have thought it.
It makes you wonder how large could that thing be?
Large as it may be… it was not going to get me. And I appeared to be the only person at Salsa that night who totally rejected anything that woman had said.
I found no part of it interesting or tempting. But some of my fellow Salsa-Soul Sisters did… and I could tell. Some time later… the 1 who had appeared the most interested in it that night… I came across a few years later. She was all dressed up in leather… I knew what course she had chosen.
Then there was another Salsa-Soul Sister who had become part of a religious group in New York called Isis. In fact, a few of the gay sisters I knew got involved in that religion. I recall 1 night this particular sister had given this party over at her home down in Riverside. She was dressed all in white, and as I came in her house I started to reach over to embrace her in greeting her… and she backed away keeping me at a distance without really touching me …talking about she had not yet gone over.
Gone over what???
Later a friend told me that the woman… our Salsa-Soul Sister had gotten involved in this Isis religion and that she was going through some type of purification ritual. Why this woman became involved in that Isis stuff was a mystery to me as she always seem so afro-centric… and also smart. Needless to say I soon began to think of her as anything but smart. She became odd and started acting funny… weird.
This guy… obviously gay… and as gay as he could be… moved into an upstairs apartment in her home. While at work… we later found out… her girlfriend would go upstairs to him. At the party it was pretty obvious that there was something going on between them. She kept dancing all up on him like she was crazy. And later on the woman ran off with this obviously gay man… who was the head of their religious cult.
In looking up that Isis mess… just now… it says that Isis was a goddess of Ancient Egypt and the religion spread through Greco-Rome.
Then not too long ago while listening to the news, I believe, I heard of this church where the congregation went to church nude… totally nude. They worshiped in their church naked. And I had seen on 20/20 or something a while back about some church where they were snake worshipers. They dance and pranced around their church twirling snakes.
While in the library 1 day a young woman came and sat down beside me at a computer. After a small amount of time I noticed that the woman was wiping tears from her eyes. Shortly thereafter I decided I should speak to her to see if I could help. That is when she told me she was running for her life from some religious cult she had fallen into while living in Atlanta. She was all messed up. Jumping at her own shadow… because she was full of fear… saying the cult people wanted to kill her because she wanted out.
So, my point here is this… there are lots of crazy people around the world seeking to worship all kinds of things if somebody is crazy enough to come up with it. And the group of people deciding that Beyonce is holy and should be worshiped is about as crazy as any of them can come… maybe worst. And certainly to me… is as insane as anyone can get who joins them.
And there is 1 thing for sure… somebody may get mad at me for saying it. Because people like to say that we should not condemn others. I do not believe in condemning anyone… and it is not condemning if you speak the truth, particularly if you are attempting to warn them… better yet show them the errors of their ways. However, there are many people who have no problem in condemning themselves to hell… and somebody needs to tell them so.
Therefore, people involved in S&M, Isis, Beyism, Muslim-ism, Buddhism, Hinduism… or any other kind of -ism and everything and anything else that is not like Jesus and God… nor of His doing. They will go straight to hell… and I did not condemn them there… but their acts did.
However, it is not the desire of God that any of us should be lost. But due to foolishness most people will be lost. I pray you won’t … or me. But how are you going to turn a woman into a god and become a worshiper of her… and not think that something is wrong with you… is my question?
Beyonce cannot do anything for anyone… like heal someone… save someone from hurt… harm or danger… illness… disease… or any kind of enemy including the devil. In fact, she is in as much of a need God as we all are. And I hope she and her worshipers find Him before it is too late.
My Lord… have mercy.
Then I happened to catch a video segment from the MaryMary reality TV show where the 2 sisters, Erica and Tina… are having a ‘for real’ conversation. Somebody should have called for the cameras to be cut off. Because the words started flying ‘God-Dang’ world??? Erica got beeped… who knows what she said. And I am not trying to figured it out… or even read lips.
We have all heard that the gospel world is not what we all thought or think that it should be when it comes to the language and behavior of some of the people walking around saying they love the Lord… singing gospel music… and that live lives that speak something totally else.
One of the worst things that could have happened to some of these people is reality TV. They don’t know how to stay off of it. Stuff slips… and everybody sees or hears something that wasn’t supposed to be seen… or heard… or hinted at. Then again drama sells… and keeps the ratings coming.
One of the biggest disasters is that boy… Deitrick Haddon. Nobody can tell me he is really saved. Somebody is going to be mad cause I called him a ‘boy.’ Don’t send me any more comments professing to me about how cruel and ungodly I am… and how much of a man of God Deitrick is.
That boy is not saved and not trying to be. If I wasn’t much of a lady I would post a picture of his lower half which evidently he is very proud of. The internet is loaded with pictures of the boy’s penis… and he didn’t release that picture or those pictures some 10 or 20 years ago. No, it was while he was supposed to be ‘Saved’… while he was a recognized gospel artist… while he was still married to 1 woman while showing his stuff to another …or who knows how many others. And all this I guess while he had taken over the leadership of his father’s church upon the passing of his father. I suspect those people must have put him out… and he deserved it.
We are living in a time when some folks have figured out how to get more exposure… any kind and any way they can. They make sex tapes… send out instagrams of pictures they claim they didn’t send… or this they get arrested or shoplifting or while driving drunk etc.. It worked for Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Brandy’s little brother, Lil’ Kim, R. Kelly, Puff Daddy and the list goes on and on…
You cannot tell me that if you are a recording artist or a movie star or a wanna-be that you have not figured out that sending pictures of your naked sexual organs or videotaping yourself involved in some sexual act… that you don’t know it won’t find its way to the public eye. It has happened far to many times for anybody to do it… and not do it with the intention that it is going to viral… where everybody and their brother and mother is going to see it.
Some do it to revive a fading career. Others to jump start a career in the spotlight… news… or gain a reality show etc…
When my son told me this story I was on my way to St. Louis… and he mentioned to me how this gospel singer by the name of Kevin Terry had a videotape leaked with him down on his knees… and he wasn’t praying. But giving some man a blow job. I never saw the video but while in St. Louis I mentioned it a couple of times… and I know for sure that others saw it.
This Kevin had ties with our boy Deitrick whom I do believe has some issues in the same department. I often realize something that goes over the top of the heads of most other people.
What I have realized is this… that a lot of time you will find men on the down-low who appear to be crazy about women. That is because that is what they want you to believe. They act like they want to sex down everything but the tree when it comes to women… while all the while hiding what they really like and with who. It is a game that they play to throw people off from thinking that they are really gay.
I know I’m going to get some comments about this… but so be it. I really do get tired of these so-called gospel ‘I love Jesus’ artists… who are more sinful that Joe Small out on the street corner selling drugs… or pimping girls or whatever. They have a semblance of holiness… but they are not holy. And I don’t care how many gospel songs they write …or sing.
And I get tired of people trying to make saints out Steve Harvey and Tyler Perry. Come on now…
Have you heard how Steve curses?
There has got to be a line… some kind of a line somewhere.
Why does everyone want to make people holy just cause they like them… or they find them to be funny… or they write Jesus into their plays… or tell church jokes from time to time?
I do not hate either Steve or Tyler. And I would never be jealous of anyone’s success… but in the same token success does not mean ‘godly’ just because they are successful… and happen to utter the word ‘God’ once or twice.
I have a cousin who totally blew me off when I told her I was not really a fan of Tyler Perry’s plays or movies etc. They were something I just was not interested in. Boy, did she call me everything but a child of God. She said I was bourgeoisie… I was a hater… and I was this… and I was that.
Man, what did I do?
I am sure that I have work that Tyler won’t like either. But it would not mean he hated me. Needless to say I have not talked to that cousin since. Not because she said all of what she said regarding Tyler… but because she called me ‘light.’ I don’t want or like people to call me ‘light.’ I hate it… and I am not really ‘light’… I am brown… black through and through. But let me go back to my blog topic….
The Bible tells us that we have to ‘put off the old man.’ We become brand new. Our language is new… how we dress is new… how we walk and talk is new…. how we think and behave is new. Many of these so-called people… many pastors and bishops… evangelists etc. included they have not lost that old man… he’s in the closet and peers out when the coast is clear. And they do what they do… believing nobody is going to find out… until somebody lets the cat out of the bag.
You can’t condemn someone who condemns them-self. The Bible tells us to judge them by their fruits. I would not believe that would be in the Bible if we are to be blind by the ways and the wills… and ways of people.
I am not gay bashing as that would be ridiculous for me to do… having come out of ‘the life’ myself. Though I hear we can be some of the biggest critics of it. But I would not do that. Least way I hope that I would not… even if I hadn’t come out of ‘the life.’
But I really think that my thoughts today come out of me recently coming in contact with someone who supposedly is in the church but living or trying to live his life as a woman.
Yes, I did say… trying to live his life as a woman in the church. The guy looks some what like a woman to most people I guess. But I noticed right off that something was out of sync about him. No matter how much they try whether it be the arms… the adam’s apple or their legs… body structure or something else… No one can truly wipe away totally who they really are.
And let me just say here and now before I forget it… our God does not make mistakes.
Evidently, this guy had taken the pills…not the 1 in this picture but the 1 that I am talking about having just met. His voice sounds very much like a woman and if you didn’t notice certain things about him… he could easily past as woman to most people hands down. But I came out of ‘the life’ so I would be subject to pick up on certain things that most people simply do not catch… as I had come to know a lot of gay guys… many of whom were my friends. I know them for the most part to be highly fantastic people… highly creative… kind and giving… so not so kind… but many of them loving the Lord.
What I do not like though is this… it is about the kind of people who move far away from home so people won’t know who they are and can’t recognize them as being so-and so’s son or daughter. They assume another life and identity as whatever role they are playing… be it either a man or a woman… walking around tricking …or a better word ‘fooling’ people. Or attempting to fool people. No, I do not like this kind of people… at all.
They have eaten up all these pills to either make themselves look and sound like either a man or a woman. And some of them have gone the distance and gotten the operation… removing their breast or male gentiles… growing breast or facial hair etc….
What also disturbs me about this… and perhaps the most. It is this… the fact that it is all a lie. It also undermines God perfect order. And it is highly deceitful when people walk around pretending to be something that they know they are really not… but look and sound every bit like it to unsuspecting people whom they charm into their lives …and never inform the truth… unless somehow forced to.
I foresee a time when many will be marrying such people unaware. There have past cases where someone found out that either their husband or wife was not really a man… or a woman. I even read not long ago of a case where a woman found out that her husband had really been her father. The world truly has gone crazy. And everything is turning upside down.
I recently was hired for a job… and from the jump I recognized immediately that the person introduced to me as a woman… was not a woman. It is from that moment I think I was going to write this blog regarding this subject. Because it bothered me.
I cannot lie and call someone a woman when I know that they are a man. I do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But to tell you the truth I would rather not come in contact with them.
Yes, back in the day I used to do it. I used to say ‘hey, girl’…when I was hanging out to the gay guys… and play that game with them. But I’m not that person today… or any more. I don’t want to play that game. And I just don’t want to lie… or aid or abet them in that lifestyle.
A lot of people do it. They grin and smile all up in their faces (meaning the gay guys faces) …while ripping them apart when they are among their other friends… laughing and making jokes about them. I have seen it. And I might have done that myself… I think.
But these people (and I do not say ‘these people’ to demean anyone)… who live these kind of lives trying to fool people are truly ‘double-minded.’ Their mind is split… they are biologically whatever they were born… and then they are whatever they are pretending to be. Over a period time yes… much because natural but still the core of who they really are cannot be removed by doctor… by pills… by surgery… or anything… unless God does it. And we all know that He is not.
But what bothered me most about my meeting and supposedly working with this person… was that I knew them to be a liar from the very beginning. You cannot be passing yourself off as something you know that you are not… and not be a liar. If you would lie to me about a core thing such as who you were born to be… then how can I trust you regarding anything else?
And that was the dilemma I was thrown into.
And I just could not do it… because I knew the person could not be trusted… because he was definitely not a woman.
You cannot trust anyone who would introduce himself to men as a woman… with all the parts…having gone through the surgery… as though they were born that way.
I am not going to go to hell aiding someone in their lying by holding up their lie pretending like it is the truth. No, I cannot do it. But the people who brought us together… church folk… were and did do just that. And I really could not understand it.
If there is 1 thing that I clearly understand… I understand that homosexuality is a spirit. Now, I know many would disagree… and that is alright. I will not argue the point. But homosexuality is as much a spirit as lying can be on some people who will tell you a lie even when there is nothing to lie about. Or as the spirit of drinking strong drink… or taking drugs. The measure of a spirit is this… how they talk… walk… act out.
All people under the influence of alcohol slur… walk drifting from side to side or show some sign of being unstable on their legs… and can be funnier than usual or more argumentative or mean depending upon the spirit that has a hold of them. The same is true with the spirit of homosexuality… their is a likeness in their mannerisms… hand movements… the way they talk etc. Even with the women they take on similar characteristics…looks… mannerisms etc…. these traits are a mark of the spirit that is within them. Some may say ‘I don’t have any gay mannerisms.’ Oh, yes they do… but they are not readily picked up by all people who don’t know what they are. Because there are many gay people who pride themselves on being ‘invisible’... meaning they think nobody can tell that they are gay.
So, all sins are a spirit of 1 sort or another. And if I were to hold up 1 sin or another I would be as bad as the people who doing that sin.
So, there are things I prefer not to become involved in… or with. I can’t hold up a lie no matter how much I like you or may love you. I would be contributing to the sin if I did… and I cannot do that. That would make me a liar. And lying is definitely as sin. Should I lose my soul for the sank of holding up someone else’s sin by playing their game and introducing them as a woman when I know they are a man?
No, I cannot do that. It does not mean I hate them. It just means I can’t play the devil’s game. And I will not be drawn into it… whether I like you or not.
It amazes me all the tricks the devil will play upon us. The people who go through that thing they call ‘transitioning’ can get driver’s licenses that say whatever they change their new sex to. Further evidence of a highly deceitful game. And it is a game.
I feel sorry for anyone who believes that they were born the wrong sex. I know that they are confused. But they do not realize who has confused them. Then others support that confusion by calling them ‘girl’ or ‘boy.’
I know devil to be a liar… and I am well aware of the tricks he can play on the mind… and it is a head game. But I know someone who can remove the confusion and turn everything around… and make it right side up again. His name is Jesus.
And I am not preaching… because preaching to the lost does them no good. They are lost. They have eyes but they cannot see… and ears but they cannot hear. Until God removes the blinders and they step into his marvelous light… then they will come to see and understand how they were deceived. It happened to me. I know first-hand. And I thank the Lord for Saving me… but it might not have happened if the church where God lead me had realized who I was at the time and what kind of spirit had a hold of me.
The problem is many churches… particularly African American churches chase out gay people… when God has called them in. The Bible says that faith comes through hearing… and then it says ‘with love and kindness have I drawn thee.’ We must show love and compassion in our churches… and stop acting like none of us were ever in sin, or may still be as the case usually is.
Most church people won’t even testify about what God Saved them from. But God did not give us a testimony for us to keep it to ourselves. It is of none effect if we keep what God has done for us to ourselves. It is to us His glory for us to share it.
I am thankful that God brought me out of lesbianism… and I will share it everywhere I go… along with all of His other goodness to me. I am not shame that God lifted me up… and now I walk in liberty.
Well, God bless…. I’ve got to get busy now and do what I really came into this computer lab to do. I said a bit more in this blog than I intended to. Hope it is a blessing to you…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
34 comments April 15, 2014
But as I looked at her face it seemed to tell a story… of much sadness… weariness… and age. She looked tired and older that her physical years… like an old woman. A young face but so old.
I think what impacted me ever so much about this story is the fact that she was homeless with her mother… and I guess other siblings… living in a shelter.
Living in a shelter???
Little children living in a shelter???
It is not that I am naive. Because many years ago as I happened to be crossing a busy Manhattan street down near Macy’s… walking towards me was a woman pushing a baby carriage and a couple of other children along side of her. But from the moment my eyes fell upon them walking towards me… as we were both going in opposite directions…. I could tell that that woman was homeless and her children too. So, I have seen it… though you don’t often hear about it. It is something that is hard not to notice when you see it.
I do not think that little children should be allowed to live in shelters… no matter what. It is 1 thing for parents to have to go. But I do not think children should be made to suffer that kind of experience when they had nothing to do with whatever circumstance fell upon their parent and/or parents. Though some might argue that it is because of their children that they are in the state that they are in. But children do not bring about poverty. It is brought about by people who are not prepared to deal responsibly with their charge of caring for themselves. Part of taking care of ourselves is also being able to take care of our children decently. This is why we have be educated… work… and endeavor to provide even when times get hard.
Perhaps, I am not realistic. I am not talking about pulling up your own bootstraps. I’m talking about adulthood takes preparation and serious determination for a successful life. And we can do that only by advancing ourselves… studying… improving our skills… get into training positions… and endeavoring to move up.
The 1 thing I can still foremost remember about parents of old… they almost all wanted their children to have better lives than they did. So, they worked to make that happened. They struggled to make that happened. They saved to make that happened. But there is a new parent of so-called parents… and everything appears to be more and more about them.
So, many of these young girls have killed off their children or attempted to kill off their children for the sank of some love interest… or because they were tired of being tied to their children… or whatever other excuse they may have had. These people are having children without any paternal instinct in them at all. I am not necessarily talking about Relisha’s mother… because I do not know her… nor do I know the situation that drove her to seek shelter with her children in a shelter.
Based upon the article a janitor working at the shelter where this little girl, Relisha Rudd, lived with her mother… a place where they have been living for the past 3 years. The janitor befriended the mother who allowed him to take her daughter off… away from the shelter (on perhaps more than 1 occasion).
That was more than 3 weeks ago now… Relisha was never returned to the shelter… and it has since been discovered that the janitor killed his wife. And then later somewhere… or where he killed his wife… he took his own life.
And the story kind of ends there… except for the fact that they are searching for Relisha.
The police are out searching for her the little 8 year older who was allowed by her mother to go off with 1 of the shelter janitors. A 2nd grader who lived in an old Washington, DC deserted hospital turned into a shelter for families. A news article said… ‘place said to be filled with bedbugs and no playground.’ It probably smelled… and an overall feeling of complete destitution abounded there.
I cannot imagine what it is like to be forced to go live in a shelter. It seems to be the last resort for those forced in that situation… next to just plain living on the street. And many people chose living on the streets if they can… because I have heard them say that the shelters were not safe.
I don’t know this child’s mother. But as a mother I would not ever have allowed my daughter big or small to go off with some man. Sometimes when we sit in situations of desperation we might do anything… that under ordinary circumstances we might not allow. I have no idea what could have been going through this mother’s mind. The first thought that would have come to me… was ‘why was this person so interested in my daughter?’
There are mothers who will turn their children over to people… because they have an interest in that person. And the person’s interest in their child gets them attention from that person… because of their interest in the child.
I once knew a mother who used her children like that. Not being worldly I really didn’t really know what was going on at the time… it is over a period of years that I now realize what I had been seeing.
This woman had a very attractive young daughter who she used to take to the club with her… a lesbian hang out. An older lesbian woman… much older lesbian woman became interested in the woman’s daughter… who at the time may have been 12 or 14. I am not sure as I did not know the family at the time. I can only bear witness to what I saw when I came to meet them.
The older woman was about in her 40’s … approaching 50 at the time she took up becoming involved with the woman’s daughter. This meant obviously perks for the mother and the daughter. At some point the young girl started living with the older woman… I met the daughter when she had moved back into her mother’s house… by this time the girl had developed her own mind and didn’t just want the older woman but wanted to play around with other woman… young girls etc. She was exceedingly pretty… and knew it… everybody was chasing her. The old woman truly cared for her and bought her everything the young girl wanted… clothes and everything she owned… even after the young girl moved out and went back to her mother’s house. And that young girl was very well dressed from head to toe.
When I met them their lives were different from what I was accustom to. The mother’s house seemed like Madison Square Garden to me… or Penn Station. People were coming and going from the mother’s house all night long. It was like the local drop in center. It was not until later that I noticed 1 of the younger sons answering the door… which usually was unlocked and people just walked in. But the young boy sold the person some drugs. I was taken aback by it. I had never seen such a thing before… and a young kid doing it. He was probably all of 9 or 10 at the time.
I was clearly out of my element at the time… way out of it. But going back to the young girl who at the time I met her… I thought she was 17 or 18… later I came to find out she was only 15. But thing was when you entered her mother’s house and then stepped into her room it was like stepping into another world. Her room was like night and day to her mother’s house… because of how that older woman cared for her… by that I mean ‘took care of her.’ She had everything in her room… she never had to leave it. She had a refrigerator… and I don’t know what else now. Can’t remember… all I remember is the shocked I had when I stepped in the young girl’s room in her mother’s house.
I had seen nothing like it. She was well taken care of by the older woman… who obviously was so attached to her that she did not mind sharing her with other people… if that was the only way she could keep her. It was wired… but the young girl was not the only child of the mother that the mother let people take and do what they wanted. She had a son… I could tell that the young boy… younger than his sister was obviously gay. But the mother had a border living in her house. And the 1 time that I visited their home the young boy and the young man who boarded their were having an argument and sounded like husband and wife.
I never went back to that woman’s house again it was too weird for me. But I felt sorry for her children… all of them. So, I would take them out trying to expose them to things that most little children usually do. I drove them 1 day to the beach… can’t think of what else it has been so long. But I cannot rationalize how any mother could exploit her children as that woman. The girl’s mother liked me which is why she invited me to her house. But their way of living was so foreign to me that I rarely ever went back to that house. Mother knew that my eye was on her daughter which is why she invited to their house… but when I found out her daughter’s real age… there was a boundary that I could not cross and didn’t. But I got to see a side of life I might not have ever otherwise… a dark side… a side where anything goes… and everything is alright if you show me some attention too. That I think is how that young girl’s mother thought.
I do know that being homeless works on many people mind… and they become unglued. They loose it mentally. One can hardly blame them as the burden of homelessness must be so great… that it could tear most of us to pieces just thinking about it.
When I think of homelessness I often think of the lady who I used to pass everyday when I walked through the tunnel from the World Trade Center to the subway train going home or heading to someplace in Manhattan or going to Jersey.
She sat quietly on a large run to the left side of the wall between the Path and the ‘A’ train. I have always wondered whether or not she made it out on the day that the airplanes flew into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, on 9/11. But much like this young girl, Relisha… memories of that woman many times haunted me. I often wondered if there was something that I could do for her?
How the elderly woman became homeless I do not know. She appeared to be very proud. I once stopped to offer some food and she became very angry at me telling me she did not want it. And she meant it… as she became very angry and I realized then that I had offended her by offering my food to her.
There is so much happening to young children today. Every time you finish reading 1 story that is haunting and detestable to you… there pops up another even worst.
The story was sad enough just reading that she… this beautiful little child was living in a shelter.
I cannot imagine how many other children are living in shelters around this country or in this world.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the joys of our own lives… that we totally forget or are obvious to all the sadness that is in this world. And there is much sadness in this world… whether it touches us personally or not. But we should all be touched …or moved by it to try to help or make a difference in the lives of others less fortunate than we… somehow….
Just saw while looking info on this story that Mickey Rooney has passed. There was hardly a Saturday afternoon that Mickey was not in some movie on our television. I guess I could call him 1 of Saturday friends… just like Shirley (Temple) and Tarzan….
Mickey was 93….
Since writing what I did above about Relisha Rudd the 8 year missing in Washington, DC… and though no one is saying it… thought to be dead… as they have on camera Relisha’s kidnapper purchasing large trash bags and buying lye. Meaning he… if he did… killed her put her body into a trash bag and buried her pouring the lye all over her body to dissolve her away. My, Lord…
I watched the video below where the mother speaks… and truthfully speaking you can tell the mother has problems. She appears to be slow… if you know what that means. She says she allowed the man… the kidnapped to take her because he did not seem to be the type of person who would do anything like that. Many times it is exactly the people who appear ‘not’ to be ‘the type’... who are ‘the type.’ It is part of what gives them the thrill of doing whatever evil they do… because they know no one would believe ‘they would do something like that.’ I have never once heard a news items where someone was discovered committing heinous crimes or mass whatever’s where no one said ‘he just didn’t seem like that kind of guy.’
I would have to believe that this man may have had an obsession for little girls. Many men do. R. Kelly is not the only 1… or all by himself. One thing that has aided in this kind of thing is the law becoming extremely lax when it comes to filing cases against men or boys… teenage or otherwise… who indulge in having sex with under age young girls.
Once I read a news article about a little 12 year old girl who had to be separated from her 17 year old brother. The 12 year old was pregnant by him… and she was head over heels in love with her brother who obviously had been having sexual relations with his little sister for many years. The young girl was so attached to him sexually that they had to remove her from him via court order for them to stay away from each other. At 12 and having grown up being abused by her brother… I doubt that the young girl really understood the breath or the width of that order… or why it was being enacted.
They say the eyes are the window to the soul. When I first looked upon this young girl’s picture all I really noticed were her eyes… and the sadness within them. She looked old… worn… and had traveled many miles….
I posted a picture of her on my Facebook page and here is 1 of the comments I got concerning it… or this story…
We must work to save the children… from despair… from homelessness… from abuse… from people who really can’t care for them or protect them properly…
Well, God bless…. its getting late and I am getting hungry. I’m supposed to be working on another project for client. And here I am writing this… but it was on my mind. Enjoy your day and the rest of this week… and I think Spring is really in the air this time.
Add a comment April 8, 2014
And guess what?
I still don’t know who she is. I am not really all into the music scene like I used to be. Somebody says ‘concert’ to me I look the other way say, ‘Oh, I can’t stand the noise.’
Well, I’ve gotten older.
But she… this Diana King does kindda looks familiar to me for some reason… but I don’t know how. I think because she reminds me of this lady who rides the bus… they look similar.
I gave up listening to the radio for the most part years ago. Because when I listen to radio I am literally working. When you come from an industry you view everything within the eyes of that industry.
So, when I hear radio… I see the disc jockey… radio announcer (as I like to be called if you have to call me at all)… or DJ… Well, I hear everything you don’t… I hear the segways… the music mixes… their voice… what they say… in ways that a regular normal listener doesn’t. And the same thing happens to me when I go see a movie.
A movie has to be very good in order to draw me into the storyline within the first few minutes of its beginning… other than that I’m looking at how a scene was lit… the camera angle… the type of shot …the sound effects and audio mix down etc..etc…etc..
So, I guess you get the point. I am a professional… and as a professional in these industries we just hear it and see it very different from lay people.
So, this Diana King… at first I thought it was Oprah’s friend. Because you know the rumors about her and her friend. So, I thought it was Gail and not ‘Diana’ King at first that people were trying to find out more about. And I was thinking that maybe they had discovered that Gail ‘really’ was a lesbian. But… the search was for this woman Diana… I got the names twisted.
Apparently popular in the reggae world, Diana is a dance hall girl. I guess that means she shaked a lot of her back side. And ‘yes’ if you were 1 of those looking, Diana did recently come out as being gay.
Personally, with that tattoo in the middle of her forehead she looks satanic to me. And she looks much older than her girlfriend.
Which means nothing to me… because I am not familiar with her. But I will tell you that I was slightly surprised about Robin Roberts from the ‘Good Morning America’ Show coming out. I never quite thought that about her… not that it really matters what I thought.
Oh, I knew she had once been a basketball player and all that… and many of the women in the league are gay. But I never thought it about Robin. But she too recently came out… having been with her lover for the past 10 years.
Though I must say… I was a wee bit taken back when my girl Cheryl Swoops left her husband and married her girlfriend some few years back. To me Cheryl had to have been the all time best female basketball player of all times. I think she is coaching now. But my goodness what a player she was…
I know you are probably waiting for me to begin 1 of my stories about having been ‘in the life‘… gay some years ago. Well, I don’t think I’m going to say much on it today. Except I had… but thank goodness I am now redeemed. And I am so glad about it.
Thank goodness God desired me… even when I wasn’t thinking about Him.
It amazes me how many comments I have gotten over Deitrick. These women sound like they hate me.
What have I done?
Deitrick doesn’t need me to do him in… he is doing a fine job of it for himself. He appears to be someone who will do whatever it takes to get you some exposure… good or bad. Nobody takes nude pictures and sends them to someone without believing they may show up somewhere.
Can’t believe Deitrick stuff is all over the internet… if it really is his. This whole Hollywood thing of exposing yourself or some video of you having sex is making me sick.
And that formula works. These people exactly get deals… and contracts behind doing indecent things.
Who ever heard of that Kardashen woman until that nasty video?
Just heard that Serena Williams just beat another victim on the tennis court. The girl is too fierce… as Patti LaBelle would say.
I think it is marvelous the depth and width of her ability to do what she does… even when she is not feeling 100 … or the ‘nay’ sayers count her out. And that is when both she and Venus really show them what they are made of.
Serena keeps racking up the wins.. demolishing the records and still can’t get the endorsement deals. I wish I owned some major corporation… because she would definitely be my spokes woman. But those people won’t do it.
Well, I have over spent my time… time for me to get up out here now….
It has started to rain. A refreshing change to saying ‘it snowing now.’
My phone dropped and broke. The store had me call these claim people for a new phone. They told me that they didn’t have my phone in stock so they were going to up grade me to the Samsung Note 3?
But you know what I really liked my phone. And particularly after I went and checked on the cost of my phone… which the woman told me was 3 hundred and something… and this new up-grade was 6 hundred and something.
Yeah, but I really like my phone… especially since the woman told me that I would have pay a $150 for this new phone. I had forgotten I had only paid $50 for mines. And guess what… when I went back to the store that phone was still $50. Forget the deductible… I want my old phone because the way I see it… those claims people are charging 3 times as much to replace it. When I can just walk into the store and buy it again at the $50 price.
Forget the deductible… I know when I am coming out ahead.
So, I have been trying to reach these claim people. And guess what?
They won’t answer.
Well, God bless…. hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Add a comment March 29, 2014
It appears that my gospel blogs… or blogs about preachers or gospel music personalities etc. are infinitely more popular than most of my other blogs lately. I find that to be interesting.
Though that blog I wrote on that father who had impregnated 3 of his own daughters has been right up there since I posted that blog. However, that story was sick. But perhaps you like sick. If so, then you are sure to get a kick out of this… though I must say it is not funny at all… and really not something to get a kick out of… nor meant to be. But it appears that these kind of shocking stories today are more and more appealing to some people… and very appalling to many of us. Here is 1 that I have been thinking about since I read the story a week or so ago over the internet.
It is about some man in Boston who they tracked down via his internet content. He was… I guess greatly into child pornography. He had posted that he was into rapping and eating children… eating as in ‘eating chicken’… cannibalism. Needless to say I am so happy that they caught him. But I could not help but wonder if the man had carried out any of what he had posted about.
Based upon his web content and various magazines and pictures of children that the police had found in his home, the man was definitely a pedophile and also into satanism. Was it not enough just stealing the innocence of young children more than enough?
Why eat them as meat too?
What happens in the minds of these people that they allow themselves to get carried away with such deep dark thoughts that take up residence within them for so long… something that resisting them gets to be no option.
Don’t we all have thoughts that can be scary if we allowed them to linger?
One of cousins told me that she used to drink heavily but 1 day she said she realized she had to quit. She said that on that 1 day she was sitting in a restaurant and across from her was a mother with a young baby. She told me that the thought came to her mind suddenly to over to the baby and stab it death with her fork. She said that that was when she knew then that she had to stop drinking. And she did.
Could it be as simple as that?
Could all these deviant thoughts… crazy thoughts… frightening thoughts… be cast off of us if we just merely chose to refuse to carry out whatever that insane thing or deviant thing… or crazy thought… or frightening thing that came into our mind was.
I do know that such wild and intensely insane thoughts do come into peoples minds. Thoughts that when carried out… become unbelievable to those who knew of the person that perpetrated some heinously insane act.
I know this because such an insane thought came into my head once. It was around about the time after I had had… given birth to my son. It was something crazy and lingered with me for a few hours if not for days. I will not say what the thought was… but for some reason it had me, somewhat. I, of course, I never acted upon it… but it was a deviant and a mad thing… the though of carrying out an action which came into my mind and spirit.
For those of you who believe in Biblical text than you will understand this statement… though for some of you it may not have much of a meaning if any at all. But the Bible says, ‘We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with principalities, spiritual wickedness etc…’ It is those principalities… those strange dark forces, that if you are not careful you can slip into… and it will use you like a wet rag then cast you off like filthy rags ready for the fire.
My cousin fortunately had the hand of God upon her life… as did I. But I think of those who don’t know Him… and have no idea how to break the chain of the demonic spirit that is forcing them to carry out some depraved act… be it murder… rape… incest… cannibalism… etc.
This makes me think of that school teacher… or rather that notorious ex-school teacher… a woman who started having a sexual relationship with a 13 or 14 year old boy in her class. The draw of being sexually involved with that boy could not be broken off of her… no matter how much the court… our legal system had tried. She even went to prison… had been publicly humiliated and yet could not stop. But again and again she would be found with that boy. I recall seeing a TV news segment of 1 of her trials, as the woman stood before the court she began pleading for help. She said, ‘I need help.’ That’s when I realize she was helpless in doing what she continued to do with that young boy.
I doubt that the court or anyone in that courtroom really heard her. But I did… it radiated at me. She was doomed and needed to have that curse broken from her. Courts and judges… lawyers and things like that they do not understand anything like that. The operate in the natural. But are some very unnatural forces out there. But those who are those like me who know the Word of the Lord understand the spirits which can come in and attack people. People who like me knew what type of real help that woman was asking for. But she never got it. Some years later she was released from prison and went back at it… her and that boy. Though he was older now… and soon she began birthing children by him. I often think of her at times… knowing that there is no way that either of them are probably happy today.
There are those who are not strong enough … and they have no power through the power or strength… which in these cases none of us have any. Only through God can the demonic spirits be cast out. God alone can turn away the evil thoughts and actions that can creep into their minds and spirit. But they simply do not know Him… the people who do such unspeakable things. They have no relationship with God. It is not through any strength of our own that keeps any of us… or has kept us from carrying out some crazy or insane acts, but through the working of God in our lives.
Because such forces are beyond anything that we can personally fight… or ever hope to truly battle and win on our own. We need God to do it… as we simply do not have the power to do it. It takes that Greater and Higher Power to handle it for us… to act on our behaves… least we fall prey to the evil that lurks in our minds… as that school teacher and countless hundreds of thousands… probably millions of others.
When you read news stories of 13 and 14 year old kids killing 1 of their mother’s and then prepare to eat her liver… you have to realize that we are in the midst of some very dark times. More and more stories of cannibalism are coming into the news lately. There had been a time when such stories were big shockers…stories of people like Jeffery Dahmer. But not today. It appears to me that daily something on cannibalism can be found in the news… and it is very disturbing.
For years we had heard of people who were into things like witchcraft that carried out such acts as the drinking of human blood. Speaking of which when I once worked in the Village, down in New York City… I was ever so surprised when 1 of my co-workers came out with this statement, of wishing he was a vampire. Near the end of life hanging out in New York City, gay clubs and the Gay & Lesbian Center in New York… I had become to be weary with all the dog collars and black leather suits. They were starting to get strongly involved into satanism, I thought. Whips and bondage had started to take a hold upon them… dominatrix… S&M was the new pleasure.
It was not until a very attractive women came to Sala Soul 1 night that I realized just how much this thing was taking a hold of them. The meeting that Thursday night was about S&M… sadomasochism… whippings and bondage for sexual pleasure. I had noticed that she was dressed all in black leather, but I had not made the connection. It was appalling to me… actually down right shocking. I was not prepared for that kind of topic… nor will ever be. But that woman’s world was the world of S&M.
She spoke about this thing that she had fallen into with such excitement and joy… that it was really hard for me to remain in my seat and not hit the door. Whereas everyone else in the room seemed to be taken by this thing that this woman was inviting them to become involved in… I rejected it. It was hard for me to believe that anyone would ever believe that… it was the 1 who was in bondage… the person handcuffed or chained… or otherwise tied up and being whipped… was the person in control.
Come on, now do you really believe that?
If you are handcuffed and have put yourself in mercy of some crazy person with a belt or whip or paddle or some other torturous device… who is standing over you inflicting you with pain… do you believe you have any power to stop that person if they decide… Well, decide to kill you… or continue to whip you though you cry out STOP?
No, you have no power… to stop them. But this woman was saying something else. And if you were sitting on the moon… like many of my Sala Soul Sisters seemed to be that, as they were very engrossed with the topic and the woman. Then maybe you might have bought that… but I did not. And nobody on this planet can tell me anything different.
But this is the mind-set of many people… to begin dipping into the macabre… stepping deeper and deeper into darkness. They begin playing with things and thoughts that take them into deep dark places… where they become lost.
A year or so… or maybe a couple of years later I happened to come across 1 of young women who had been at that Sala Soul meeting on S&M. This woman had asked a lot of questions that night, and she really seemed more than slightly interested in S&M. I guess she truly was. Because when I came across her some time later she was wearing all black leather… the dress code of those in S&M… bondage. I even made a remark about it black leather attire… and saw a look come across her face as if I had found her out. She had emerged herself into that lifestyle… and was now 1 of them… and it is a lifestyle… a sub-culture of which even they have their own flag… a nation unto itself… of highly misguided people. That was the last Sala Soul Sisters meeting I ever went to… and from that point on I began to move further and further out of ‘the Life’… meaning gay life… being a lesbian. I began to realize I had less and less common with them, my fellow Sala Soul Sisters. My thoughts were changing… and at the end I had changed.
I thank God he put something in me that has kept me from totally going crazy… or following every insane whim that came into my mind. I had limits and barriers that I would never cross because of my early child training. Training does show up… and Biblical scripture is true. Train up a child in the way that it should go, and when he is old he will not depart.
Well, so much for that… just thought I would drop in and share a few words. Hope all is well with you… and that you continue to enjoy the rest of this week.
One final note on that man from Boston who was into rapping and eating children. He requested that the state give him life… but his sentence is only for a term of 25 years. I think the Judge should have heard him… and some kind of provision was written that he would never be release back into public life again. The man obviously knows he has no power to resist the deep dark forces that lurk within him.
Well, God bless… and I guess I’ll see ya’ the next time I decide that I have something on my mind. For the record this blog was 1 of hardest to find any YouTube video for… or some pictures I really liked. Most of the stuff was just to gross or nasty for me to want to use it. But then I guess that all really goes with the type of subject matter this blog was about. Not much that any of us really want to see or know about.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment October 1, 2013
I know all you reality freaks probably can’t wait until PREACHERS OF LA. hit your TV screens this fall. I can’t imagine the mess that that show will be.
It might just be a congregation breaker. And if they really let themselves go and show us themselves for real… many of you may not really like what they uncover.
So, just who are these 6 bold preachers who decided that they would take the challenge and allow TV cameras to follow them both in and outside of their churches… and exploit their personal lives?
In watching the trailer to the show you get the picture that it is really going to be about just 3 of the preachers… Bishop Noel Jones… Bishop Clarence McClendon… and Deitrick Haddon. But the other 3 are Bishop Ron Gibson… Pastor Wayne Chaney… and Pastor Jay Haizlip… the lesser known pastors.
I must say that I had not really thought much about it since I watch little to almost no television. So, therefore I wasn’t hit with a ton of commercials hyping this show to death in order to set me on the edge of my seat waiting to see it.
However, it was not until yesterday while looking up some YouTube videos for my blog which I posted yesterday, JESSE JUNIOR… BISHOP PAUL MORTON RETIRING…and ANTHONY WEINER A REAL JERK… that I happened to come across a video about Noel Jones and Lisa Raye being a couple.
Well, maybe I should say it like this… Not the stuff that First Ladies are made of. Well, let me take it a step further… and say it this way. Not the stuff that Church First Ladies are made of.
Haven’t we all?
But I must say that that I thought she made a very good First Lady of that little island that she happened to marry into… Turks and Caicos. And she did hold up very well under the pressure of that crazy king or whatever his title was over that island… whom she married.
Lets face it… Lisa is a very pretty girl. Well, I guess I should say… woman now. But preacher material?
Another thing… can I just say this?
No pastor or preacher should be dating anyone… whom he is not possibly looking at as a candidate for marriage. And no so-called man… especially a so-called Bishop or any pastor or any other supposed man of God, who is single… should be out impregnating women and not marrying them.
My Bible says a Bishop should be blameless. So, exactly where does that put Bishop Noel Jones?
Now, having said all of that let me get to what I was saying about the Bishop. For years Noel Jones portrayed himself as being this celibate preacher, following the divorce between him and his wife many many many many many years ago. You get that picture?
Born January 31, 1950, Noel Jones, a Jamaican, is the twin brother of R&B/Rocker singer Grace Jones of the 70’s. I can hear her sing ‘Pull Up To The Bumper, Baby’ now… think it might have been her biggest hit.
Anyhow, Bishop Noel Jones is the Pastor of a large mega-church, City of Refuge Church… and highly sought after as a preacher besides deciding to be featured as 1 of the 6 pastors to parade his life and affairs before TV audiences, on the up-coming reality TV show PREACHERS OF LA.
The last time I watched a television broadcast of Bishop Jones he was preaching on a subject that involved him relaying to his congregation his struggles to maintain himself sexually… and I think… winning. Being a very dynamic speaker and a man well versed with words, with a large vocabulary… his take on winning that battle and overcoming that demon even had me glued into that message.
But then I found out that Bishop Jones, if you did not read… or had not heard yet… had been less than forthcoming about his victory over his sexual urges. In researching information for this blog… which is something that I sometimes do… not often… but at times. When I want to lets say hit upon a topic that I am going to write about, but I am not sure about what little info I have. So, I do a little digging just to make sure of what I have heard or saw or read… and to see what else I can find to make my blog a bit more interesting. And I also like bringing some facts into my blogs… beside just my opinions which I am always full of.
So, while digging… I found out that the Bishop had impregnated a young woman, named Stacy Francis about a couple of years ago. Hmmmm….
Now, I’m smh… (smh means shaking my head for those of you who don’t know). Never would I have thought that because… Well… Well, because I thought the man honestly was gay. Which kind of goes back to what my friend, Sue… always says about me. She says… I think that everybody is gay. Though I say that is not true. Not EVERYBODY… just some people.
If you read my blog on Raven Symone supposedly being gay… then you would know that my friend, Sue’s, statement is far from being true. Because I certainly definitely don’t truly believe that Raven Symone is gay… no matter what she says. I think she is just going through a phase. It might even be just a Hollywood thang… because it seems to me that everybody almost in Hollywood these days has either a girlfriend or a boyfriend. As being gay in Hollywood seems to make for great news.
But lets get back to Noel Jones. After years of watching him during his morning church broadcasts… I think on BET… I had long thought that he was gay for all the obvious reasons. But 1 reason in particular… he just plain looks like it. Well, to me.
I know somebody just passed out… while somebody else just got mad because I’m talking about their pastor. Yes, I probably lost about half of my readers right there in having said that. But it is true. He just looks like a gay male to me… and if anybody has seen a lot of them I have. Because as you know I was once in ‘the life’ myself. And you kind of get to know them when you see them.
Thank God for redemption… truly.
And since I am talking about it right now… let me just add. For anybody who has come out of it… and I am talking about being gay…or homosexual… or lesbian… or whatever… they no longer look like it. The things… the look… the characteristics… how they talk… mannerisms… nuances etc… dress… style etc… all also change. This is really how you know that they truly are ‘new creatures’ in the Lord.
Not to say that the Bishop is gay… but he always struck me as being so.
Also, having been in ‘the life‘ I know the games and tricks people play… usually men… to try and hide their true sexuality. They court women that they have no physical interest in… some even get married… have children etc… all as a way of hiding who they really are.
So, Bishop Noel Jones messing with Lisa Raye… or having a child out of wedlock… it all just might be a sham. And probably will make for good TV for those of you who love drama… especially baby-mama/baby-daddy drama.
Forget me saying that Lisa was not Church First Lady material. But just how much of Bishop material is Noel Jones to having at least 1 child out of wedlock. And is carrying on sexually or otherwise with young women who could be this 60 year old man’s daughters?
My thoughts, however, are still out on the broadcast of the Preachers of LA. But I have 1 question…
Are we selling out the Church… to shine on TV and make an extra buck… and gain earthly fame?
And somebody tell me please… When did Deitrick Haddon move to L.A.?
When you look at the clothes that this pastor let his wife wear out of the house… you really have to wonder about the fate of the Church… and where it is headed?
Excuse me… but I just can’t get over the dress that that man… that PASTOR’S WIFE is wearing… exposing her breast like that. Did I say that I thought Lisa Raye might not be Church First Lady material?????
My, Lord… smh… again…
This thing is scary…
And can I add this?
When it has all been said and done I wouldn’t be surprise if half of them leave the show… and go up under IRS investigations for misusage of Church funds.
Whatever happened to ‘having all things in common?’
Or feeding the motherless and the fatherless… instead of driving around in exotic cars and living lavishly grand life’s while their congregations languish?
Well, God bless… well, it is Friday. I hope you have a blessed and enjoyable weekend. I am going to go and work around the yard tomorrow I think.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
26 comments August 16, 2013
Now, all of this from an ex-lesbian myself… and a person who has a friend who is FOREVER telling me how I think everybody is gay. Well, this story proves that to be wrong. Because I just cannot believe that Raven Symone is actually gay.
Maybe she is just going through a phase. All kids go through them… even me. And perhaps even you did too.
“A phase’… a time in our life when we tried different things then moved on.
Raven might well argue this point. But time will tell.
Supposedly involved in love relationship… or sexual relationship… Raven is said to be entangled with this woman… some ‘the next top model’ woman.
Now 27 Raven clearly at this point is supposed to be a grown woman. Least ways that is the supposed experts say. But I ask you-
At 27 were you really all that grown?
I wasn’t. And that is for sure.
It was not until I was 25 that I actually branched out and started to become sexually involved. I know… I know. I was late. But up until that point I was pretty much in Church with my parents. Well… not quite. I had stopped going to church though… but had to move out first before I could. But I had not yet hit the clubs or anything like it until a few months after I turned 25… a couple of years out of college.
This is when I started frequenting clubs… if you care to call it that. Because I really didn’t frequent clubs… and I was never a bar person because I simply did not drink… and wasn’t going to try. And I totally hated bars… and the kind of people who sat in them drinking most of their nights away.
In fact, when I did start going out it was to disco clubs… and yes they were gay… in New York… and Manhattan to be exact. And I only liked clubs with all women… primarily black women. So, that limited the places where I went. These were places like ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’… ‘Shahara,’ which was kind of mixed but up-scale… etc. I liked up-scale… but mostly went to ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’ because they had more black women. In fact, they were all mostly black… mostly Afro-centric.
But as I have stated in my previous blog,s in which I have wrote on this subject on being gay… or lesbian… and/or lesbianism. Since I was in media… a professional radio announcer… I was undercover, as most people were in my time. And during my time… when I was young being ‘out’ really wasn’t the ‘in-thing’ to do.
To tell you the truth ‘outing’ yourself… or coming out of the closet… really is a evolving thing. Though many people are now coming ‘out’ the masses, I would say have not. There are many who feel it would hurt their image… their businesses… their law practices… their family relationships… etc…etc..
So, as they call it today… I had to be on the down-low. Which I guess Raven is claiming to have been.. until now. Since she recently twitted that she is gay and can now get married… though she says she has not immediate plans to do so.
I never really hung out in town… rarely, and never became involved with anyone in my hometown. Which really was not by plan or design… it just ended up being that way. Because when I could not get to New York… I partied in a nearby town that had tons of black women who were very attractive… upwardly mobile and were ‘in the life.’ I did that until something happened with the Warehouse… it closed down. And then I discovered the wonders of New York City… and I do wonders.
I was 25 and the world was my playground. At those early ages of your young adulthood… you really are just trying to find yourself.
But going back to Raven. Having been removed from that life by some years now… and with no desire or intentions to ever go back into it… I always become sadden when I hear … read or see young girls who have gravitated towards a gay lifestyle. You see them everywhere today… and it is not hard to tell them either. And some of them appear to be quite young.
I know many who will not agree with me on this… and some will even get mad. But that is okay… get mad. And I really do not care who does or does not agree with me.
You cannot expect to be happy when you are living outside of the will of God.
There were, of course, numerous times I felt that I was quite happy while I was doing my thing ‘in the life’… that is what we called it then… besides saying ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I’m a lesbian.’ You would just say ‘I’m in the life.’
But way down deep I was not happy. I do realize that now… but didn’t then. And I am not saying that people cannot or are not lonely… unhappy… or do not shed tears in heterosexual life, or any other lifestyle. But therein lies the problem.
When you live in a world that you define yourself by your sexual preference… then this means you are living to satisfy your sexual being. In Church they call it being ‘carnal.’
I can clearly say that while I was in that life… sex had a hold of me. And when I was loosed from the bondage of being gay… a lesbian… and released from desiring sex during great periods of my waking time… I cannot tell you how happy I have come to be free of it all.
I now know real happiness… and have a freedom that I just cannot explain. When I didn’t have a lover while I was in that life… man… It was all I craved. That is because I was caught up in the sex. Sex had a hold of me. It controlled me. Not in the way that I just did anything… or went to bed with just anybody.
Today, I do not live defining myself sexually. There is no need.
Why would I want to?
My life is not defined sexually. I am greater than being just a sexual being. Sex no longer has its control over me. I am free. And I walk in liberty.
A very beautiful young lady, Raven is very much grown up… and definitely seems to have her head on in the right place, and clearly very much unlike most Hollywood types. It is my hope that if Raven Symone really is gay… and I say ‘if’ because a lot of women… and young girls try it. For some it is nu-vogue… the thing to do. To walk around telling people that they have a ‘girl-friend.’ It is kind of a hip thing for them.
But if Raven is… I hope that it is merely just a stage in her life. A stage that she will soon get over… and move on from it without too much pain. And that she is fortunate enough to be discovered by a wonderful man… who will love her… become her husband, and the father to her children.
Well, I have said it. Now, I guess I am going to hear from a lot of people who may disagree. But that is okay… I love hearing from you all… whether we are in agreeance of not.
Well, God bless… I’m waiting on my son now who is suppose to be coming to pick me up. So, let me just say quickly… I hope you have a beautiful rest of the week.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment August 7, 2013
You would think that 1 of the hottest topics at the Atlanta Hair Show would have been about some fantastic hair-do… but it wasn’t. Way from it.
The buzz on the floor and from booth to booth was about Will Smith and Jeda Pickett-Smith.
I had long ago wrote a glowing blog about them being great role models and a beautiful couple… but who knew that all was not what it seemed?
They seemed to be the perfect couple. Happy… and certainly with it all going on. But who knew what dark little secrets lurked deep down within?
Who knew that it was at all as it was made to seem?
I thought them happy. I thought them perfectly matched. I thought that they truly loved one another. I thought that there was nothing that could drive them apart. I thought…
Well, I thought all was well. But it seems that it wasn’t. And that it was far from being well.
It was my son that broke the news to me saying-
But who knew?
Well… I knew someone who knew… and she told me it many years ago saying-
“Awh, come on, Bern… don’t you see it. If you don’t then you are the only 1 who doesn’t.”
But I refused to accept it. But it seems that she was right… that same friend who I wrote about in my blog about the DeBarge family… the 1 who I used to laugh with when we would giggle over, and pick fun at how sissy the DeBarge brothers all seemed. Yeah, her…
And he said they got tired of having an open marriage.
I said –
“What? What do you mean an open marriage?”
I was thinking he was talking about the usual kind of thing maybe some other woman … or possibly another man. The man part was right… but he wasn’t talking about Jeda.
It was Will.
And my son said that everybody at the hair show was talking about it. Since the hair show was made up of a large number of gay men… I immediately began to think that this had to be true. Because gay men are in the know about such things as this. And from men to women at the hair show… they were all buzzing about it.
I have yet to pull myself up off the floor behind this. Some things really do come as such a surprise… and this was 1 for me. Though I have to say it again… my friend had told me it long ago, when Will was playing as the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.
It was something I guess I never wanted to see… and perhaps way down deep I was hoping it wasn’t so. And I STILL AM.
I really thought Will and Jeda made for a great couple. They seemed to be great parents …and they seemed to place a high value on family.
Though I wasn’t particular about their new-found religious beliefs… and how after coming into all that money they decided that they wanted to convert into becoming members of the Church of Scientology. Which struck me as a Hollywood thang… for the $20 million plus crowd. Which Will stepped into many years ago after leaping from the small screen onto the large screen… with a massive following.
It is disappointing really. But I guess we are all chased by demons at some point or other in our lives. The trick is to not allow them to consume us. And to fight until we win… and not them.
There seems to be a rash of men and women stepping into the gay lifestyle. For some it seems to be hip…even fashionable. But for others it is something that they have been drawn into … whether by their own fascination …or by some type of inducement… enticement… inquisitive nature … or whatever have you. And clearly I forgot about acts of abuse as another root cause for some.
But for whatever reason it seems to be growing. Or maybe it is that it is more open. Perhaps, the latter is probably the real case.
And it seems to me that I see so many young school kids making choices at early ages about such things. And many of them… especially the girls are deep into role-playing… meaning dressing or acting out the male role.
Having come out ‘the life’… meaning having been gay myself… I cannot help but feel for them. So, I study them and watch them… and can’t seem to take my eyes off them. Because I hate to see anyone commit their lives to something that is so anti-them.
I can’t say that I hated me. But I did hate what I looked like… hated my size… and I can’t remember what else. But I never really liked me.
I never thought I was pretty or anything like that. And my interest were not really in girl-ly things.
But I never desired to be a boy… and certainly not a man. I did like that part about me.
So, I never considered role-playing as an option for me… though for most of my relationships with women …I was designated as what would have been the male role. Because even in not playing roles… somehow you end up in them. Somebody is going to be more fem …and somebody butch. And it is because that is how life is… and we imitated life and the various categories of life as 2 people together.
But I really get disturbed at seeing so many young people gravitating towards an alternate lifestyle. And particular those who are so young… young girls and boys in the 7th or 8th grade.
CLICK. It has just dawn on me that I was in the 9th grade when some girl first started following me around… and later began to stick letters into my locker. How quickly we forget.
I rarely think of it now. Her letters turned into phone calls when she happen to come upon my sister 1 day… telling my sister that I had given her our phone number… and that she had lost it. So, my sister accommodated her by giving it to her again… or so she thought.
This is when I found out that all those mysterious letters in my locker were coming from a girl. It is funny because I never ever talked to that girl face 2 face… until much later in our lives. Because for 1 thing I was afraid of her…
Once I realized what was going on I soon began to notice that that girl used to walk pass all my classrooms. She used to just stand there outside my classrooms looking through the glass door at me. She also used to sneak into the 9th grade lunch… as she at the time was only an 8th grader… and she would always sit somewhere across from me… watching me… staring at me. It is funny how I had never noticed her before… but then I had thought it was some boy sending me all those letters.
Though the girl never tried to hurt me… or ask me to do anything sexually… I nevertheless kept my distance from her.
Believe it of not I had actually finished this blog…BUT LOST EVERYTHING BELOw THIS. So, at some point maybe I may come back and redo it. But not right now …or tonight it is after 4 AM…
So, please forgive me while I get some sleep.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
Add a comment August 24, 2011