Posts filed under: ‘Sexual Revolution‘
It is hard to know where to begin with this blog since I have so many different things on my mind. But let me begin with this…
As I just came across it on a Facebook post… where the mayor in Houston had proposed to allow transgender people to legally use the bathroom facilities that they identify with.
Needless to say… why write certain things into law?
They already do it. So, such a thing is really kind of stupid. But the other side of the coin is this …writing such a thing into law opens the door for many women to become victimized by men looking for new opportunities in ways to victimize women. What I mean by this is this.
Most times women go into a bathroom… it is usually not full… not unless you are at a club or some large social setting. A lot of times we are the only ones in bathrooms. When we enter the ladies room we do not expect anyone stronger than us to overpower us and shove us into stalls to rape us… or to carry out any other type of crime that people perpetrate against women. But such a city ordinance would open the door for such a thing to happen to women. As just anybody could walk into any bathroom they wanted and not necessarily have in mind the intention of using the toilet.
Not to mention women often allow their children to go into the ladies room… most of the time under their care. But such an ordinance would put at risk both a mother and a child if a deranged person were watching them… and then followed them into a co-ed bathroom. Whereas such a person entering into the ladies’ room would easily be spotted if the bathroom facilities were not co-ed.
In places where perpetrators look for unsuspecting victims …such as in movie theaters and amusement parks where there are always large number of children this type of policy would be very disastrous.
But is this thing right?
I say, ‘No.’
And it is a resounding ‘no.’
Perhaps I am a little bit too caution. Or maybe you just think I am being super homophobic. But it is not the homosexuals I am thinking about. I’m thinking about the people who would take such an ordinance and use it to prey upon certain people…such as unsuspecting women and possible children, as many times children do go into bathrooms with their mothers. And these people are not gay… they are rapists… child molesters… predators of every sort.
And believe me… I would rather fall on the side of a little per-caution rather than hearing someone say, ‘I’m sorry. We never dreamed this sort of thing would happen.’
All this might stem from the fact that I was abused as a child. I really don’t know. Or it may stem from the fact that I have been stalked several times. Now, that I do know.
I think about it this way… if it ain’t broke ‘don’t fix it.’
What is wrong with having the women’s bathroom for women, and the men’s bathroom for the men?
Has not that system worked all these years?
With regards to the home situation… Well, is totally different. We are at home. We all know each other… ans supposedly nobody is trying to prey upon another. We grow up using bathrooms inside the home as a family. But in public the same principles do not apply. And it has always been broken down as facilities for men… and separate facilities for women.
Why mess with that now?
One could say that this is the problem that we have with our medical system in this country today. Who in the world started messing with it?????
We had a system that used to work. People used to be able to see qualified doctors not just people tied into their medical plans, who only issue prescriptions for medication manufacturers tied to pharmaceutical companies who own their plans… to whom their now doctors are also tied to. Kind of a vicious little circle… called lets keep the money in-house. And that is exactly what they do… if they can.
Sure our old medical system might have had issues… lets face it nothing is perfect. But it had worked fine for hundreds… maybe thousands of years more or less as it was. The pluses were (1) you could pick and chose your own doctors. (2) Hospitals had to treat people whether they had insurance or not. And (3) if a doctor wasn’t working for you… you could just pick up your marbles and go to another one without asking the doctor you are trying to rid yourself of… to write you a ‘referral.’
Who thought of this ‘doctor’s referral‘ thing?
We are not children. Why do we need to ask a doctor ‘may I?’
Or ‘can I?’
And if they won’t then… you can’t. You are just plain STUCK.
That is just a little bit too much control over patients if you asked me.
But going back to my original issue with removing ‘MEN’ and ‘WOMEN‘ signs from public toilets….or those little pictures that mean ‘MEN’ or ‘WOMEN’ toilet facilities. I clearly understand what probably escapes many people… is that who is going to get blamed when stuff starts going wrong with making such an sane which to our long established system of public toilet facilities.
Most people like to believe that the people who perpetrate crimes on children… particularly on boys… little boys are all gay. If you only knew. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you could only hear some of the gay guys talking on this subject, then you would certainly know THAT to be a lie. Most gay men… and women… if not all of them… hate people who perpetrate sexual crimes against children …or anyone else for that matter.
I know personally that many gay people get mad when these people… sexual perverts such as NAMBLER… North American Man/Boy Love Association… attempt to tie or associate themselves to the gay community. Mostly because those men involved in that kind of thing are not gay. They think of themselves as straight men who merely love having sex with very very young boys. These men are low life predators. A bunch of six depraved men with warped minds. Of whom I have absolutely no tolerance whatsoever for.
The Nambler men are sexual deviants straight out of hell who prey upon very very young boys while living what appears to be very regular lives as heterosexual men… and men who seek out very very young little girls to do the same… they are just as intolerable. They are all highly deceitful. Many are married and/or have girlfriends… some even have their own children.
We are living in a time when laws and ordinances are being created and made that will cause more harm to our society … than at any other time. And crimes are becoming more and more heinous… and laws more and more lacks.
Who thought of legalizing marijuana?
Who approved it?
Now, you not only have to careful and the lookout for drunken drivers… or those under the influence of all those other long recognized nonlegal and legal drugs out there. But now also have to be on the lookout for people driving around buzzed… under the influence of marijuana, whose system is just as whacked out and as much impacted by effects of marijuana as anyone who has been drinking or using some other narcotic drug.
Now, these guys are selling marijuana stocks and bonds on Wall Street to fund their marijuana farms.
This whole thing is becoming very insane. My father would say… ‘the world is going out backwards.’ And it truly is.
Pandora’s box is being left wide open. And there is no turning back the terrible tide that it is unleashing upon this world.
Fools and depraved minds have taken over our Courts and government. They are creating laws and writing into place legislation that are turning this world upside down.
Having been in ‘the life‘ for many years, of course, I do understand why gay people wanted the right to be legally married. I myself had personally witnessed and knew of several relationships where one partner or lover had died. After having spent many years together I saw where families stepped in following the death of their family member deciding to take over everything from the surviving lover in that relationship… including the funeral arrangements. Just ripping everything out of the hands of the surviving partner or lover.
They may have had amassed a house… and/or a business… or other items purchased and/or paid for together… or co-owned by the both of them… but in came their family. They took control over the dead body… and eventually forced the surviving partner out.
So, yes I can understand how having some level of law to protect what 2 people had accumulated together would be helpful to them. Particularly in light of greedy family members… who many times cast off their gay family member years ago… only to re-emerge following their death to declare to their surviving lover ‘you don’t own anything here… and get out.’ But then I have seen that in heterosexual relationships too… where people lived together for years and failed to marry.
But did the law governing marriage have to be rewritten to provide for that is my question?
I think not. That right could have been gotten a whole entire way without trying to redefine marriage as something other than what God intended marriage to be… and between whom He intended it be between.
But their are people who have been put in place to bring about any change that delights that other spirit that also inhabits this world. Just a chosen few people in the right places is all it takes to set about a change that effects everyone in the land. And that is the problem with our system… it doesn’t take the masses to do it any more.
Today just a small group of people can decide to do something… and BAM! It is done. Things changed that you never thought you would see changed.
Who would have guessed that marijuana would ever get legalized in this country?
Next it will be crack cocaine… then cocaine and everything else. Why not… it all makes money?
Even lying after Bush became acceptable if it somehow can be seen to serve greater good. Or some kind of meaningful …or in Bush’s case devante purpose. But nobody started throwing stones at him when they finally found out he lied about ‘weapons of mass destruction,’ as a means for him to invade Iraq and start an unnecessary war, in order to push up gas prices and make his family richer. And that it ended up killing millions of Americans, mostly young college kids for no good cause.
There is someone somewhere making BIG BUCKS from marijuana …and that you can bet your money on it. Otherwise, how did marijuana stocks hit the stock market so quickly?
And who are the really people cashing in on it?
Probably the people who have always been at the top of the illegal American drug trade in the first place.
No, there are things happening in our government today… that even those guys on Capitol Hill… the insiders know and are dealing with …who are pulling all the strings to our never before. And because we now live in a global economy… our inter-actions in the global world… wield lots of global influence… that person or persons may not even be American… nor Americans. But they are for real.
They are getting things done that no of us ever dreamed would ever be done. And the change that they are effecting is not for the good of this country.
Not at all.
If, indeed, legislators were legitimately looking to legislate some good policy they should take a look at the evils in this world and sincerely seeks ways to remove and/or lessen them… not open the doors for more to come about.
But the 1 thing that stays on my mind about that whole thing is how nearly 300 school girls were kidnapped from their school… and nobody did nothing?
How did that happen?
Most of the problem in this case stems from world interest in this story and the fact that the Nigerian government officials do not want the involvement of outsider aid… such as the United States… in assisting them in freeing the girls … or seeking freedom for them. Most of it boils down to political pride on the part of the Nigerian officials not wanting it to be seen as they cannot handle their own affairs. Of which they evidently cannot based upon the kidnapping of these young girls they are in dire need of some help… from someone.
Why be so proud that you cannot accept assistance in such a matter as this?
It is foolish. If any of the government official’s daughters were involved they wouldn’t be able to accept help quick enough. But it is evident that none of their daughters is at risk.
There is no telling as to what is happening to those young girls when you consider the treatment of women who have be taken by such groups as the bunch of criminals who claimed that they took these girls. It is not uncommon for women/girls to be raped, beaten and abused in an array of various ways including sold into bondage and prostitution.
I am thankful we have a President who cares about Africa …and her people. Thank you, President Obama.
I know people are going to think I am whack-co but since I am on the subject let me take a moment to go back and hit upon this subject regarding transgender individuals as well. It appears to me that this whole thing is becoming more and more rampant. It has become a trend …and it is growing fast.
There was once a time when transgender and yes, even drag queens were kind of looked down upon. But a boom is on to change all of that. Their ranks are growing… and growing even at early ages.
It is almost becoming a fab now among many in the gay community. Kind of like all this body piercing and tattooing that has grown so popular… and tattooing lately. And not only has it become popular… trendy… but it is even becoming acceptable to many outside of the gay community.
Few people used to talk about such things as ‘I feel like I was born to be a man’ if they were a woman… or vise versa. But there is lots of chatter about that now. The seeds have been laid… and it has become like a ranging fire swirling out of control.
It kind of reminds of my niece saying to me 1 Sunday, ‘Auntie, I don’t want to go to this church any more. I’m not being fed.’
Not being fed?
What did she know about not being fed. It was not she like she was saved or anything… or even paying any attention much during our church services. But she had heard someone else said it. And that was all she needed… to being her own reverberating of those words ‘I’m not being fed.’
The true being told no church was going to feed her spiritually as she, at that point, was not really interested in being in church at all anyways.
So, what I am trying to say here is this… all these people declaring that they are something other than what God created them to be… be it male or female. They have been bitten by a bug… and the world today is full of people who follow what other people do. This stems from hearing something like ‘I never felt comfortable being a girl’… following somebody sitting on some television show… national, of course… sounding and looking every bit like a man or ever bit like a woman. And the viewer internalizes that notion and begins feeling and saying that exact same thing… as they start working their way to becoming a transitioning something or other.
It is really rather sad to me. But who knows …when the devil had me… he really had me too. So, who knows if this trend had been so hot and heavy in my days what I might not have elected to do it too?
Perhaps I should not cast any stones. But thank God that is not my mind today. For the devil no longer has be captive.
But now I am seeing them everywhere… transgender people. And reading and hearing more and more about people ‘transitioning.’ Meaning slipping out of being 1 type of sexual being into another… as in going from being… or appearing to be male to appearing to be female via surgery, shots and medication etc.
For a while now I have been thinking about a friend of mine who recently was informed by her daughter to begin calling her ‘Harry’ or some nonsense… (I am kind of playing with the name here as I do not wish to disclose the real name). But yes, she has begun eating up all those pills and seeking to undergo the surgery.
I cannot think of anything more which resembles self-hate more to me than an act such as this. And the thing seems to have become more and more popular… and widespread among those in the gay community.
And that is what they say ‘I hated myself because I knew I was suppose to be a girl.’
You know what the devil is the great deceiver. All of my life until most recently I used to think of myself as being ugly. I really thought I was ugly and never like taking pictures. I didn’t want any mirrors in my room. I rarely looked at myself in the mirror. But you know what a few years ago I started thinking about something…
I have been stalked at least 5 times in my life if not more. And I started thinking about that.
I had had some very beautiful girlfriends… but none of them had ever been stalked. Or least ways not to my knowledge. So, I wondered 1 day ‘why me?’
It was not until I started trying to get a picture for the back cover of my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, that I discovered something. And it came about shortly after I got saved… and came into the realization that God never created anything ugly.
So, now as I was looking for a picture for my book… I also began to see myself in a new and very different light. And in that light I realized that I had never ever been ugly.
I laugh at it now because for over 40 nearly 50 years I had felt that I was not attractive at all. I just never saw what I see now… and I have attached this picture of me so you can see too. Isn’t it funny. Stalked at least 5 times …and I mean seriously stalked. Once so bad I almost had a nervous breakdown because I became so terrified. And I have been stalked by men and women.
But once I came into the light… and the scales were removed from my eyes I began to see me that had always been there… but I had never seen before because… to me … in my eyes then I was ugly.
So, now you see me. And, of course, that is me below also. But when the devil has your mind …he can make you believe anything… even that you are man when you really are a woman. God does not make mistakes. But the devil does… and often. Don’t let him fool you too.
When my friend’s daughter… her other daughter called me up and told me the story about her decisions to become a man… my mind began to take a tumble. It is hard for me to wrap my mind around anyone wanting to destroy them-self in such a horrid way as this… as an act of trying to re-order their sexual gender would be doing. And all I could think of was the woman… really a man who tried to join Salsa-Soul Sisters. An act which met with such furry that the person was totally forced out of our group sessions and following that night stopped entirely coming to our Salsa-Soul Sisters meetings at all.
Those lesbians called an emergency meeting where immediately they voted in unanimously ‘that no person who is not born bio-logically a woman could ever be a board meeting of Salsa-Soul.’ And they meant every word of it.
And I mean they all rush into that meeting that night… for that emergency meeting. The only emergency meeting I think Salsa ever had. Sisters I hadn’t seen in years… some I even think got up out the grave to attend that meeting.
It was a pivotal point in Salsa-Soul Sisters history that night. I think in the lesbian world really… in how we all view some things… Salsa was a scared female only organization. So, a man… even 1 dressed up as a woman.. with boobs etc… Well, a thing like that was not acceptable to us… to none of us. And a man… going through a sex change to become a woman so he could be a lesbian… was not acceptable to those real 100% lesbian women who came into that meeting to voice their opinions on the matter… and it would never be and they made sure of that. Lease ways not as a board member of their prized and beloved organization… Salsa Soul Sister, Inc. And I have to say… I agreed.
But the odd point is this … as freaky as that whole thing was to me… and as it was to my fellow Salsa-Soul Sisters… I never saw where it might ever become a larger issue. A world issue… if you get my drift. As I now see it becoming.
This thing is large and it incorporates changing legal documents which are adjusted to the conform and affirm the status, name etc. of the said person. This includes drivers licenses and everything… which once read ‘male’ are now changed to read ‘female.’ And to me that is scary. Because these people move away from home where nobody knows them and present themselves to unsuspecting people as someone totally different from who they really were born to be… and they look many of them every bit the part of who they are trying to pretend to be… and sound like it too with the help of all of what they are taking by way of medication to assist in their incredible changes.
If questioned about it… saying that someone questioned if they were a man or a woman?
All they have to do is pull out this new false licenses, passports etc… listing their new names, social security numbers and sex on them. And who could argue that they were not who or what they claimed to be.
Today the amount of people opting to change their sex is staggering to me. It is like a fad with many people deciding to do it… like changing an old hat or pulling off an old tee shirt.
Whenever I am talking to the sister of the daughter who is going through this type of change… which is called ‘transitioning,’ I avoid speaking about her sister at all now. As the thing really is a bit too much for me… and I would rather not hear about it. But I understand that she has had her breast removed and her voice is changing. And ‘yes’ she is beginning to grown facial hair… so the process of looking more and more like the male species is well underway for her … as well as, sounding like 1.
The sister has told me that her mother and everybody else in the family is calling her ‘him’ now… and by his adaptive name… ‘Harry.’ Which really surprised me. Because I would not have believed that their mother would have fallen into that game… and it is a game. Really it is. And it is a game that I just cannot play… because it would be lying… and too accepting of your child going through that process.
If your child was a robber would you accept that?
I think not. Then why accept a change that is going to alter your child into someone or something you will no longer recognize …and living in such a diverse lifestyle that is bound to bring them nothing but unhappiness later on down the road… if not already And it will.
I hear that Chaz… Cher’s daughter has found that it may have been the wrong choice for her… in altering herself or attempting to alter herself into a man. Let’s face it… Chaz will always be known as Cher’s daughter whether they call her Chasity of not. We can all agree that she looks and sounds ever bit like a man. But at the end of the day she is just a woman who had a sex change. And THAT, my friend… really doesn’t add up to being a ‘real man.’
How could I go around calling someone ‘her’ or ‘she’ when I know that they are a ‘he or a her?’
And since I would rather not hurt their feelings it is best ‘we’ do not come together at all.
Now, I am not for disowning people. Or throwing away ones children. That would be down right wrong. But we cannot accept all kinds of junk either. A parent cannot discard their child… and should not. But this whole ‘I changing my sex thing’ certainly should not be forced down any parent’s throat either. That is the feeling I got about my friend’s daughter… she had no respect of what or how her parents felt about it. Or cared about how they felt about it. It was her way or no way. So, her mother conceded and began calling her daughter ‘he’ and ‘him’ … and whatever name she is calling herself.
I had lovers… a few of them even met my parents. But I was 1 of those people who was very discrete about my relationship with the women I went to bed with. I certainly never kissed or held their hands in the company of my parents… or out in mixed company anywhere. In fact, while in the company of my parents it never came to me to want to. Because… I guess I respected them too much to want to.
I have always maintained and still maintain… that my life is my life. I also felt that it was not necessary for me to go shouting through the streets or around world who I was sleeping with. And I have always maintained that I really did not care who other people were sleeping with as long as it was not involving children or animals. Outside of that… it really wasn’t any of my business.
Though I had a friend working at a radio station in New York and 1 evening I accompanied her to the radio station, and upon greeting someone she noted to me privately ‘that he likes young boys.’ She went on to say, ‘boys between 4 and 7.’ I never went back to the radio station with her after that… because all I could do was kind of stare at the guy and think that somebody should put him out of his misery. Such people have to be sad people to me.
How could you live with yourself doing such a thing?
I don’t know how she could work in a place like that… with someone like that. I could barely make it through the evening knowing what she had told me about him.
But how does anyone share information like that with anyone?
And how does anyone not report him?
And you would have had to have seen the guy… never would you have guessed it. Tall… muscular… good looking kind of guy… normal on the outside. But dark on the inside… filled with some deep dark secrets. It was written in his eyes… I think.
Why or how he managed to share them… that kind of information about himself and his sexual forays with my friend I do not know. But that was all she had to say to me to keep me away from that radio station ever again. But I have never forgotten him. Because there was something rather sad about him… as well. You cannot live like that… or that kind of life and not be sad. A very sad sad person.
But back to this transgender revolution that is exploding all over the place. It is sad to see how the world is going backwards. How twisted and turned around people are becoming. There is a lost of direction… and everything bad seems to be in. Or appears to be the latest thing to do. Even Bruce Jenner, step dad of the Kardashians and an Olympic champion, in his younger days… has gotten in on the transgender act. I is hard for me to see or understand why so many people are electing to do so… or are so guns-hoo for it. It boggles the mind.
And what is even more mind boggling to me… is the fact that many once they undergo their change now classify themselves as being ‘straight.’ Meaning they do not want to be classified as being gay or transgender etc… etc… at all. They think of themselves as being totally man or woman… not transformed being. This thing is crazy.
That is what I think about this whole new thing… crazy. This whole thriving world of transgender individuals…. people who think that it is ‘hip’ … I am dating myself here I know but I can’t think of another word that fits better than ‘they think it is ‘hip.’ ‘Hip’ to be an ‘it.’
I have seen them… seen pictures of them… and they seem to be happy outwardly…and loving who they are pretending to be. But I know that is a lie. You cannot be really happy or love anything …and be out so of alignment with God.
You did know this part was coming. Least ways I hope you did… because I could not leave this blog without bringing Him up. He does play a factor… a major factor in all of this. Especially since He created us all.
Oh, you can appear to be happy. But appearing to be happy and being happy are 2 totally different things.
What God has made us to be… that is what we are. And no doctor or amount of chemicals or operations can change it. Your DNA is your DNA and that is God’s doing. Everything else is meant to be confusion… strife… and deceitful.
Do not let the devil destroy you. And if your child is dealing with these issues remember you can’t change them… therapy can’t change them… but God can. He changes and mind and the heart… He changed mines. Just keep your children lifted up in prayer. Pray without ceasing and love on them …and let God do His perfect work in them.
My parents prayed for me. And you see me as I am today… God made a new creature out of me. And He didn’t need any medication or shots or surgery to do it.
One last thing before I get out of here…
This woman here and her daughter… turned male supposedly… are just looking for a reality show deal on the backs of this whole transgender mess. If they don’t already have 1. The thought of it makes me sick… because it puts out there this concept of changing your sexual identity is alright… that it is good… and okay… and above all… it can make you happy and ‘in.’ And so many many many people are just looking for anything that will make them ‘in’… they are looking for anything that make them more friends or gather them some attention. They are looking for their 15 minutes of fame and possible fortune.
And if you ask me this woman is definitely pimping her daughter… and the look of her daughter’s face…says she is loving every minute of it. It is all about money, baby
You do see what her cap says don’t you?
Or maybe they are both just pimping each other…
Well, God bless…. I have got to get started on something else before I get out of here. So, I have to end now. But you will not believe that I actually wrote this blog several weeks ago… and I am now just getting around to adding all the finishing touches to it today. Oh, well… Hope you enjoy your weekend and I truly do God will bless you and keep you well.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
When you watch this stuff it really really makes you scared for the world… and all its people. It is frightening times because the devil is taking the minds… hearts… and bodies of our children. And some parents are aiding in that process.
This stuff is sick… and very distressing… Perilous times…. II Timothy 3:1…
UPDATE: Wednesday, July 10, 2014….Okay, I’ve just finished watching the graduation speech to the college in the video above by the (I hate to say ‘he-she’ above)… but you know what?
I think whoever termed that phrase got it right. And for a truth they were way ahead of their time when they first started saying it.
Times have gone crazy. Why would you invite a transsexual to be your graduating class main speaker?
Alright, maybe I could see it if the person had done some type of fantastic or earth scattering deed… discovered something (other than he wanted to be a woman and was now pretending to be one). But all this guy does is pull at his very bad weave and talk about himself. I must admit that I have known more than my share of drag queens who loved to do the very same. But nobody paid them ‘x’ amount of dollars or extended an invitation to them to come and be the guest speaker of their class graduation at some college.
I must be missing something. And I am not trying to be funny… but I kind of liked it when we celebrated people for ‘really’ achieving something other than cutting off their penises… or attempting to grow 1. This is sick…truly.
And I know somebody is not going to like it. They will call me homophobic and everything else. And I can live with that.
But what I cannot live with… is me sitting around and being quiet as I watch this world sink into holes it will never ever be able to pull itself out of again. Pandora’s box is open…
One thing about everything when you are growing up. Everything is a joke to you… until it isn’t a joke. Don’t be caught unawares…
Add a comment June 20, 2014
His name is B. Scott and he classifies himself as being androgynous… kind like what Michael wanted to be… somewhere between being male and female.
I have seen few people who have pretended to be as happy as B. Scott pretends like he is. When I was in ‘the life’ I thought I was happy too. But I never pretended like I was over joyed with it. Over a period of time I just came to accept it… which I guess if you finally settle upon ‘this is who I am’ you tend to do. You just start to kind of accept it. Which is what B. Scott said he finally came to do.
Though I have seen thousands of gay guys and women who acted like they were super dupper happy being gay. I had also seen them …many of them in the tears because they wished they could be like everyone else.
When I watched this video on YouTube by B. Scott… the 1 below… it really prompted me to write this blog. Because there were a few things that he said that really gave me insight as to who he is… and why.
(I’ve got to find the right video) But in the YouTube video B. tells of how people used to say to him when he was a little boy, ‘You so pretty you should have been born a girl.’
In hearing that it made me think of my son, who at the age of 13… 1 day broke down and started crying saying to me that I would never be a grandmother. Then he said that he must be ‘gay’ because everyone told he that.
How could I defeat what he was saying?
At the time I was not saved. I was speechless and did not know what to say. I was shocked.
I must confess to being 1 of those gay mothers who was seriously homophobic… terribly. But I never pushed my thoughts nor my fears over onto my son. Well, I hope not… certainly never intentionally. But there was a period in my life when he could nothing right. I hollered at him about everything. I did not realize that I was doing that though until a woman who was part of my film shoot on my short film… a niece to Florida of ‘Good Times’… pointed it out to me and talked to me about it. She said, ‘Why are you always yelling at him?’
I never realized that I did. But I am glad she brought it to my attention. I might have drove my son away… but thank God that did not happened. That big headed boy took me out to dinner last night… to very expensive sea food restaurant that we both like. But I do not love him because he treats me to thing… or buys me stuff… I love him because he is ‘my son.’ And I thank God for him.
I had never heard anyone call him that… that word… ‘gay.’ Though I think they were careful not to do so while I was around… as I would not have liked it. Though I must say that at an early age I started to feel like I was seeing certain signs of it. But here is where I want to tell you how the devil works.
You are not seeing anything that the devil has not put in your mind. Your young children know nothing about sex… but the devil will toy with your brain and make you believe you are seeing things which are not there.
You don’t believe me????
Let me share with you this. One night while in my apartment in downtown Brooklyn…. as I was leaving the living room to go towards my bedroom I looked down at the floor. Upon looking down I saw the floor was covered with large water bugs everywhere. I mean swarming with them everywhere. I quickly looked up and said to myself, ‘the devil is a liar.’
I don’t know where that came from… but that is what I said. Then I looked back down at the floor and there were no water bugs anywhere. It had all been a figment of my imagination… brought about from the devil knowing that I had a fear of those things. Which came about by the fact that occasionally I would see a water bug in my apartment… something that my landlord refused to believe.
But that night the devil had decided that he was going to drive me mad… meaning crazy by presenting to me a ton of those horrible things crawling all over my apartment floor around me… and they covered my entire apartment floor. But I did not go crazy. God kept my mind… because He did not let me fall for it. I merely shut my eyes for whatever reason… (as I did not know it was God’s doing at the time)… I just started believing that they were not there. You would have had to seen them. They were so real.
This is how I know that people can see things… which look as real as anything you can touch or feel… and it not really be there. It was just something that the devil presented to me… and had made it appear real to me because he knew I was afraid of those things. Of which New York seems to me have quite a few of them.
The woman in the above link killed her 4 year old son because she believed he was gay. The devil truly had her mind that she would have done such an insane thing. But he does and can plants seeds in your head… and make you see and hear things which are not really there. And if you are not careful… and you let them take root in you… you will believe what the devil has planted and will act out in whatever way he wants you to.
What does having a jump rope in your hand have to do with being gay?
So, what if a little boy wants to jump rope. It does not mean he wants to grow long hair and become a girl.
But my friend did not realize that she was planting seeds… that 1 day would grown into just what she was asking for.
I had wanted to badly to tell her that what she and other members in her family were doing to him in regards to calling her grandson a ‘girl’… or saying to him had some ‘girl in him’ was wrong. But I knew they would not listen to me… so I did not. But now in hindsight I realized I should have tried …if for no other reason other than for her grandson’s sake.
We must speak LIFE to your children. And do not let anyone speak DEATH to them… not even in joking. Calling your boy child a girl is speaking death to him… or your girl child a boy. Don’t do it. Encourage them to have fun… let them enjoy themselves as children without you putting all your own sexual hangups upon them.
So, when I watched and listened to the above video of B. Scott I realized just how he had come to be and why. I understand him… not so much because of what my son had said to me. But because I understand how little children can become confused as to who they are if people keep pushing them in some other direction by saying ignorant things to them that makes them believe what people are saying about them. And I guess that does kind of fit directly with what my son had said to me.
My entrance into ‘the life’ was very different… it had nothing to do with anyone calling me a ‘boy.’ Because frankly I never looked like 1… nor did I ever want to be 1. Though I wasn’t much of a baby doll playing little girl either. I don’t think I tried climbing trees… but I did try my hand at trying to fix a couple of things when I was young.
But being the oldest my youth was superseded by my having to learn how to do things at an early age… like washing dishes. I do not know how old I was when my father pushed a chair up to the kitchen sink… but that was the beginning of my years of me being our family dishwasher. Then I was taught how to cook… and the list goes on and on…
I was introduced to sex at a very early age. Not via any family members but outside of our home. Only twice had it happened. But it happened before I had a voice or knew I had a voice or any idea of what was happening. That is not to say I was an infant. I was just a very young innocent child of maybe 6…7… or 8. And the 2 times it happened they happened at varying times… not close or together. Maybe a year or so apart… can’t remember that part.
I made mention on 1 of the times in 1 of my other blogs not so long ago. It was a time that I almost got gang raped… but God said ‘no.’ That was the first time that someone took advantage of me. But those 2 experiences marked my life forever… and how I think and feel about people who take advantage or abuse children.
But contrary to what many people may say or think… sexual preference many times may not have anything to do with what you were indoctrinated to… or let me say it this way first introduced to sexually.
Though I have spoken to many gay guys and they had the opposite experience… and some women too. It did lead them into a life of homosexuality. And a lot of times it happened to them with someone who took advantage of them sitting in some position in the church… lived in their apartment building… was a close friend to their mother or father… and ‘yes’ even sometimes it was a relative… or a daughter or a son of the 1 their parent’s friend. One of my times was such a case as that. My mother must have known… as she never went to visit that friend ever again.
But going back to this guy B. Scott in watching his videos I felt sorry for him… because I understood him in ways that many people will never get to. And I also recognized his gaiety… or supposed happiness… really to be his sadness.
Love you, B. Scott. And hoping that 1 day God will do a work in your life like he did in mine. I hope the same for my son…. and the many sons and daughters dealing with identity problems… issues… or sexual confusion.
And I hope your laughter and smiles will become ‘real’… and turn into a joy that surpasses all understanding 1 day.
And that 1 day you will look into a mirror and see how really handsome you are… and start loving the ‘real’ you’ and not that the ones who were agents of devil told you were… but who God really made you to be.
Well, God bless…. I am really supposed to be doing something else right now. But I just wanted to take the time to do this blog really quickly. I hope that it falls upon fertile ground…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
2 comments April 17, 2014
Personally I have never quite understood the hype over Beyonce. I have seen a million and 1 sisters who can look or do look just like her… including 1 of my nieces.
Okay, then you want to say it is the way she can dance.
Please… What is she doing?
Nothing… that she has not copied from some Jamaican gals who have been jingling and shaking their stuff for quite some time now. And on Labor Day in Brooklyn you can catch as many as your eyes can see walking up Empire Blvd doing just that during the Jamaican Liberation Parade.
Empire Blvd becomes a haven of men with their eye bungling out of their heads at a bunch of young and old Jamaican women making their way up the Blvd in a parade shaking every piece of flab they’ve got… and a lot of it you don’t want to see.
Going back to Beyonce… it appears her following has developed into some worshipers… calling Beyonce a ‘deity.’ And they have developed their own church down in Atlanta, called THE NATIONAL CHURCH OF BEY.
If nothing else it should be crystal clear to you by this time that we are truly living in last days and times. And the evolution of Beyonce into a ‘god’ or ‘goddess’ can certainly be looked upon as a clear sign that Satan is busier than ever… and that there are some crazy folks out there.
“We are very disappointed in the failure of the public to recognize the existence of a divine Deity walking among them,” said the church’s founder Pauline John Andrews. This woman must be the supreme witch of the group as she is the founder of such a ludicrous religious start-up group of the Beyonce worshipers. I have heard of die hard fans… but this?
Come on… Why would some woman want to worship any other woman in the way that makes a religious goddess out of her?
Something is definitely wrong with that woman. And undoubtedly Beyonce is getting a charge out of… meaning she is loving it.
How do you become so taken with someone that you want to worship them?
Though I have heard of loving people to death. But this is beyond loving someone… even to that length. To death. Here the woman loves her unto heaven.
Now, how stupid is that?
And from what I hear Beyonce and her hubby are in their own diverse religion… that illuminati mess. Jay-z says he believes in 1 God… but not in hell. He does not believe in Christianity… meaning he does not believe in Jesus. That should speak volumes in of itself to many of you.
But going back to Beyonce… Oh, I have heard it said in movies… when men or women desire someone so much sexually that they will tell someone anything… even that they want to worship them. But before the end of the movie… the worship is all over and so wasn’t all that hot and heavy sexual desire that inspired those words.
I have heard too that Atlanta has a lot of strange things… and things Satanic going on. It can’t be that far behind New York City then… because I know for sure that New York has all kinds of crazy things going on.
I was very surprised 1 night when a very attractive black woman, well attired, very professional looking… walked into Salsa-Soul Sisters and began talking to us about S&M. It wasn’t until she pointed it out that I even noticed that she was dressed in all leather…black all leather… or maybe it was gray. But it was all leather. She called herself ‘1 of the leather people.’
I never knew much about S&M but that night I got a very in-depth lesson of what was supposed to be the ‘joys of being involved in S&M.’ Now, if you can get to that you might be a better person than me. No, a bigger fool than me… because can’t nobody tell me somebody standing over me while I am all handcuffed and tied up…being whipped by that person standing over me… with a whip or beating me with a belt buckle… can give me any joy. No, that you cannot tell me. I know much better than that. And I also knew something that I do not believe that woman ever recognized if she is still alive. And that is… that at any moment 1 of those fools could be subject to torture her to death… but even that thought might have been pleasurious to her.
Evidently, that woman had not processed that thought. For the woman claimed that she got pleasure out of what those S&M people had taught her and done to her. And she said she got mad at her friends because they had waited until she was 50 years old to introduce her to that lifestyle… and it is very much a lifestyle.
That woman also shared with us that night at Salsa-Soul Sisters that there was a restaurant in Manhattan that at a certain time of night shut it doors and locked them… and then the fun (if you care to call it that) began.
I was horrified when she told us that. Who would have ever had thought such a thing.
Full of people who were all into S&M?????
And all waiting on the clock to tick until they all got started on 1 another.
That woman also picked up what looked to me like a notebook jacket… and she pointed out that it bared the S&M flag. They had their own flag… a nation of people unto themselves. Who would have thought it.
It makes you wonder how large could that thing be?
Large as it may be… it was not going to get me. And I appeared to be the only person at Salsa that night who totally rejected anything that woman had said.
I found no part of it interesting or tempting. But some of my fellow Salsa-Soul Sisters did… and I could tell. Some time later… the 1 who had appeared the most interested in it that night… I came across a few years later. She was all dressed up in leather… I knew what course she had chosen.
Then there was another Salsa-Soul Sister who had become part of a religious group in New York called Isis. In fact, a few of the gay sisters I knew got involved in that religion. I recall 1 night this particular sister had given this party over at her home down in Riverside. She was dressed all in white, and as I came in her house I started to reach over to embrace her in greeting her… and she backed away keeping me at a distance without really touching me …talking about she had not yet gone over.
Gone over what???
Later a friend told me that the woman… our Salsa-Soul Sister had gotten involved in this Isis religion and that she was going through some type of purification ritual. Why this woman became involved in that Isis stuff was a mystery to me as she always seem so afro-centric… and also smart. Needless to say I soon began to think of her as anything but smart. She became odd and started acting funny… weird.
This guy… obviously gay… and as gay as he could be… moved into an upstairs apartment in her home. While at work… we later found out… her girlfriend would go upstairs to him. At the party it was pretty obvious that there was something going on between them. She kept dancing all up on him like she was crazy. And later on the woman ran off with this obviously gay man… who was the head of their religious cult.
In looking up that Isis mess… just now… it says that Isis was a goddess of Ancient Egypt and the religion spread through Greco-Rome.
Then not too long ago while listening to the news, I believe, I heard of this church where the congregation went to church nude… totally nude. They worshiped in their church naked. And I had seen on 20/20 or something a while back about some church where they were snake worshipers. They dance and pranced around their church twirling snakes.
While in the library 1 day a young woman came and sat down beside me at a computer. After a small amount of time I noticed that the woman was wiping tears from her eyes. Shortly thereafter I decided I should speak to her to see if I could help. That is when she told me she was running for her life from some religious cult she had fallen into while living in Atlanta. She was all messed up. Jumping at her own shadow… because she was full of fear… saying the cult people wanted to kill her because she wanted out.
So, my point here is this… there are lots of crazy people around the world seeking to worship all kinds of things if somebody is crazy enough to come up with it. And the group of people deciding that Beyonce is holy and should be worshiped is about as crazy as any of them can come… maybe worst. And certainly to me… is as insane as anyone can get who joins them.
And there is 1 thing for sure… somebody may get mad at me for saying it. Because people like to say that we should not condemn others. I do not believe in condemning anyone… and it is not condemning if you speak the truth, particularly if you are attempting to warn them… better yet show them the errors of their ways. However, there are many people who have no problem in condemning themselves to hell… and somebody needs to tell them so.
Therefore, people involved in S&M, Isis, Beyism, Muslim-ism, Buddhism, Hinduism… or any other kind of -ism and everything and anything else that is not like Jesus and God… nor of His doing. They will go straight to hell… and I did not condemn them there… but their acts did.
However, it is not the desire of God that any of us should be lost. But due to foolishness most people will be lost. I pray you won’t … or me. But how are you going to turn a woman into a god and become a worshiper of her… and not think that something is wrong with you… is my question?
Beyonce cannot do anything for anyone… like heal someone… save someone from hurt… harm or danger… illness… disease… or any kind of enemy including the devil. In fact, she is in as much of a need God as we all are. And I hope she and her worshipers find Him before it is too late.
My Lord… have mercy.
Then I happened to catch a video segment from the MaryMary reality TV show where the 2 sisters, Erica and Tina… are having a ‘for real’ conversation. Somebody should have called for the cameras to be cut off. Because the words started flying ‘God-Dang’ world??? Erica got beeped… who knows what she said. And I am not trying to figured it out… or even read lips.
We have all heard that the gospel world is not what we all thought or think that it should be when it comes to the language and behavior of some of the people walking around saying they love the Lord… singing gospel music… and that live lives that speak something totally else.
One of the worst things that could have happened to some of these people is reality TV. They don’t know how to stay off of it. Stuff slips… and everybody sees or hears something that wasn’t supposed to be seen… or heard… or hinted at. Then again drama sells… and keeps the ratings coming.
One of the biggest disasters is that boy… Deitrick Haddon. Nobody can tell me he is really saved. Somebody is going to be mad cause I called him a ‘boy.’ Don’t send me any more comments professing to me about how cruel and ungodly I am… and how much of a man of God Deitrick is.
That boy is not saved and not trying to be. If I wasn’t much of a lady I would post a picture of his lower half which evidently he is very proud of. The internet is loaded with pictures of the boy’s penis… and he didn’t release that picture or those pictures some 10 or 20 years ago. No, it was while he was supposed to be ‘Saved’… while he was a recognized gospel artist… while he was still married to 1 woman while showing his stuff to another …or who knows how many others. And all this I guess while he had taken over the leadership of his father’s church upon the passing of his father. I suspect those people must have put him out… and he deserved it.
We are living in a time when some folks have figured out how to get more exposure… any kind and any way they can. They make sex tapes… send out instagrams of pictures they claim they didn’t send… or this they get arrested or shoplifting or while driving drunk etc.. It worked for Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Brandy’s little brother, Lil’ Kim, R. Kelly, Puff Daddy and the list goes on and on…
You cannot tell me that if you are a recording artist or a movie star or a wanna-be that you have not figured out that sending pictures of your naked sexual organs or videotaping yourself involved in some sexual act… that you don’t know it won’t find its way to the public eye. It has happened far to many times for anybody to do it… and not do it with the intention that it is going to viral… where everybody and their brother and mother is going to see it.
Some do it to revive a fading career. Others to jump start a career in the spotlight… news… or gain a reality show etc…
When my son told me this story I was on my way to St. Louis… and he mentioned to me how this gospel singer by the name of Kevin Terry had a videotape leaked with him down on his knees… and he wasn’t praying. But giving some man a blow job. I never saw the video but while in St. Louis I mentioned it a couple of times… and I know for sure that others saw it.
This Kevin had ties with our boy Deitrick whom I do believe has some issues in the same department. I often realize something that goes over the top of the heads of most other people.
What I have realized is this… that a lot of time you will find men on the down-low who appear to be crazy about women. That is because that is what they want you to believe. They act like they want to sex down everything but the tree when it comes to women… while all the while hiding what they really like and with who. It is a game that they play to throw people off from thinking that they are really gay.
I know I’m going to get some comments about this… but so be it. I really do get tired of these so-called gospel ‘I love Jesus’ artists… who are more sinful that Joe Small out on the street corner selling drugs… or pimping girls or whatever. They have a semblance of holiness… but they are not holy. And I don’t care how many gospel songs they write …or sing.
And I get tired of people trying to make saints out Steve Harvey and Tyler Perry. Come on now…
Have you heard how Steve curses?
There has got to be a line… some kind of a line somewhere.
Why does everyone want to make people holy just cause they like them… or they find them to be funny… or they write Jesus into their plays… or tell church jokes from time to time?
I do not hate either Steve or Tyler. And I would never be jealous of anyone’s success… but in the same token success does not mean ‘godly’ just because they are successful… and happen to utter the word ‘God’ once or twice.
I have a cousin who totally blew me off when I told her I was not really a fan of Tyler Perry’s plays or movies etc. They were something I just was not interested in. Boy, did she call me everything but a child of God. She said I was bourgeoisie… I was a hater… and I was this… and I was that.
Man, what did I do?
I am sure that I have work that Tyler won’t like either. But it would not mean he hated me. Needless to say I have not talked to that cousin since. Not because she said all of what she said regarding Tyler… but because she called me ‘light.’ I don’t want or like people to call me ‘light.’ I hate it… and I am not really ‘light’… I am brown… black through and through. But let me go back to my blog topic….
The Bible tells us that we have to ‘put off the old man.’ We become brand new. Our language is new… how we dress is new… how we walk and talk is new…. how we think and behave is new. Many of these so-called people… many pastors and bishops… evangelists etc. included they have not lost that old man… he’s in the closet and peers out when the coast is clear. And they do what they do… believing nobody is going to find out… until somebody lets the cat out of the bag.
You can’t condemn someone who condemns them-self. The Bible tells us to judge them by their fruits. I would not believe that would be in the Bible if we are to be blind by the ways and the wills… and ways of people.
I am not gay bashing as that would be ridiculous for me to do… having come out of ‘the life’ myself. Though I hear we can be some of the biggest critics of it. But I would not do that. Least way I hope that I would not… even if I hadn’t come out of ‘the life.’
But I really think that my thoughts today come out of me recently coming in contact with someone who supposedly is in the church but living or trying to live his life as a woman.
Yes, I did say… trying to live his life as a woman in the church. The guy looks some what like a woman to most people I guess. But I noticed right off that something was out of sync about him. No matter how much they try whether it be the arms… the adam’s apple or their legs… body structure or something else… No one can truly wipe away totally who they really are.
And let me just say here and now before I forget it… our God does not make mistakes.
Evidently, this guy had taken the pills…not the 1 in this picture but the 1 that I am talking about having just met. His voice sounds very much like a woman and if you didn’t notice certain things about him… he could easily past as woman to most people hands down. But I came out of ‘the life’ so I would be subject to pick up on certain things that most people simply do not catch… as I had come to know a lot of gay guys… many of whom were my friends. I know them for the most part to be highly fantastic people… highly creative… kind and giving… so not so kind… but many of them loving the Lord.
What I do not like though is this… it is about the kind of people who move far away from home so people won’t know who they are and can’t recognize them as being so-and so’s son or daughter. They assume another life and identity as whatever role they are playing… be it either a man or a woman… walking around tricking …or a better word ‘fooling’ people. Or attempting to fool people. No, I do not like this kind of people… at all.
They have eaten up all these pills to either make themselves look and sound like either a man or a woman. And some of them have gone the distance and gotten the operation… removing their breast or male gentiles… growing breast or facial hair etc….
What also disturbs me about this… and perhaps the most. It is this… the fact that it is all a lie. It also undermines God perfect order. And it is highly deceitful when people walk around pretending to be something that they know they are really not… but look and sound every bit like it to unsuspecting people whom they charm into their lives …and never inform the truth… unless somehow forced to.
I foresee a time when many will be marrying such people unaware. There have past cases where someone found out that either their husband or wife was not really a man… or a woman. I even read not long ago of a case where a woman found out that her husband had really been her father. The world truly has gone crazy. And everything is turning upside down.
I recently was hired for a job… and from the jump I recognized immediately that the person introduced to me as a woman… was not a woman. It is from that moment I think I was going to write this blog regarding this subject. Because it bothered me.
I cannot lie and call someone a woman when I know that they are a man. I do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But to tell you the truth I would rather not come in contact with them.
Yes, back in the day I used to do it. I used to say ‘hey, girl’…when I was hanging out to the gay guys… and play that game with them. But I’m not that person today… or any more. I don’t want to play that game. And I just don’t want to lie… or aid or abet them in that lifestyle.
A lot of people do it. They grin and smile all up in their faces (meaning the gay guys faces) …while ripping them apart when they are among their other friends… laughing and making jokes about them. I have seen it. And I might have done that myself… I think.
But these people (and I do not say ‘these people’ to demean anyone)… who live these kind of lives trying to fool people are truly ‘double-minded.’ Their mind is split… they are biologically whatever they were born… and then they are whatever they are pretending to be. Over a period time yes… much because natural but still the core of who they really are cannot be removed by doctor… by pills… by surgery… or anything… unless God does it. And we all know that He is not.
But what bothered me most about my meeting and supposedly working with this person… was that I knew them to be a liar from the very beginning. You cannot be passing yourself off as something you know that you are not… and not be a liar. If you would lie to me about a core thing such as who you were born to be… then how can I trust you regarding anything else?
And that was the dilemma I was thrown into.
And I just could not do it… because I knew the person could not be trusted… because he was definitely not a woman.
You cannot trust anyone who would introduce himself to men as a woman… with all the parts…having gone through the surgery… as though they were born that way.
I am not going to go to hell aiding someone in their lying by holding up their lie pretending like it is the truth. No, I cannot do it. But the people who brought us together… church folk… were and did do just that. And I really could not understand it.
If there is 1 thing that I clearly understand… I understand that homosexuality is a spirit. Now, I know many would disagree… and that is alright. I will not argue the point. But homosexuality is as much a spirit as lying can be on some people who will tell you a lie even when there is nothing to lie about. Or as the spirit of drinking strong drink… or taking drugs. The measure of a spirit is this… how they talk… walk… act out.
All people under the influence of alcohol slur… walk drifting from side to side or show some sign of being unstable on their legs… and can be funnier than usual or more argumentative or mean depending upon the spirit that has a hold of them. The same is true with the spirit of homosexuality… their is a likeness in their mannerisms… hand movements… the way they talk etc. Even with the women they take on similar characteristics…looks… mannerisms etc…. these traits are a mark of the spirit that is within them. Some may say ‘I don’t have any gay mannerisms.’ Oh, yes they do… but they are not readily picked up by all people who don’t know what they are. Because there are many gay people who pride themselves on being ‘invisible’... meaning they think nobody can tell that they are gay.
So, all sins are a spirit of 1 sort or another. And if I were to hold up 1 sin or another I would be as bad as the people who doing that sin.
So, there are things I prefer not to become involved in… or with. I can’t hold up a lie no matter how much I like you or may love you. I would be contributing to the sin if I did… and I cannot do that. That would make me a liar. And lying is definitely as sin. Should I lose my soul for the sank of holding up someone else’s sin by playing their game and introducing them as a woman when I know they are a man?
No, I cannot do that. It does not mean I hate them. It just means I can’t play the devil’s game. And I will not be drawn into it… whether I like you or not.
It amazes me all the tricks the devil will play upon us. The people who go through that thing they call ‘transitioning’ can get driver’s licenses that say whatever they change their new sex to. Further evidence of a highly deceitful game. And it is a game.
I feel sorry for anyone who believes that they were born the wrong sex. I know that they are confused. But they do not realize who has confused them. Then others support that confusion by calling them ‘girl’ or ‘boy.’
I know devil to be a liar… and I am well aware of the tricks he can play on the mind… and it is a head game. But I know someone who can remove the confusion and turn everything around… and make it right side up again. His name is Jesus.
And I am not preaching… because preaching to the lost does them no good. They are lost. They have eyes but they cannot see… and ears but they cannot hear. Until God removes the blinders and they step into his marvelous light… then they will come to see and understand how they were deceived. It happened to me. I know first-hand. And I thank the Lord for Saving me… but it might not have happened if the church where God lead me had realized who I was at the time and what kind of spirit had a hold of me.
The problem is many churches… particularly African American churches chase out gay people… when God has called them in. The Bible says that faith comes through hearing… and then it says ‘with love and kindness have I drawn thee.’ We must show love and compassion in our churches… and stop acting like none of us were ever in sin, or may still be as the case usually is.
Most church people won’t even testify about what God Saved them from. But God did not give us a testimony for us to keep it to ourselves. It is of none effect if we keep what God has done for us to ourselves. It is to us His glory for us to share it.
I am thankful that God brought me out of lesbianism… and I will share it everywhere I go… along with all of His other goodness to me. I am not shame that God lifted me up… and now I walk in liberty.
Well, God bless…. I’ve got to get busy now and do what I really came into this computer lab to do. I said a bit more in this blog than I intended to. Hope it is a blessing to you…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
36 comments April 15, 2014
And guess what?
I still don’t know who she is. I am not really all into the music scene like I used to be. Somebody says ‘concert’ to me I look the other way say, ‘Oh, I can’t stand the noise.’
Well, I’ve gotten older.
But she… this Diana King does kindda looks familiar to me for some reason… but I don’t know how. I think because she reminds me of this lady who rides the bus… they look similar.
I gave up listening to the radio for the most part years ago. Because when I listen to radio I am literally working. When you come from an industry you view everything within the eyes of that industry.
So, when I hear radio… I see the disc jockey… radio announcer (as I like to be called if you have to call me at all)… or DJ… Well, I hear everything you don’t… I hear the segways… the music mixes… their voice… what they say… in ways that a regular normal listener doesn’t. And the same thing happens to me when I go see a movie.
A movie has to be very good in order to draw me into the storyline within the first few minutes of its beginning… other than that I’m looking at how a scene was lit… the camera angle… the type of shot …the sound effects and audio mix down etc..etc…etc..
So, I guess you get the point. I am a professional… and as a professional in these industries we just hear it and see it very different from lay people.
So, this Diana King… at first I thought it was Oprah’s friend. Because you know the rumors about her and her friend. So, I thought it was Gail and not ‘Diana’ King at first that people were trying to find out more about. And I was thinking that maybe they had discovered that Gail ‘really’ was a lesbian. But… the search was for this woman Diana… I got the names twisted.
Apparently popular in the reggae world, Diana is a dance hall girl. I guess that means she shaked a lot of her back side. And ‘yes’ if you were 1 of those looking, Diana did recently come out as being gay.
Personally, with that tattoo in the middle of her forehead she looks satanic to me. And she looks much older than her girlfriend.
Which means nothing to me… because I am not familiar with her. But I will tell you that I was slightly surprised about Robin Roberts from the ‘Good Morning America’ Show coming out. I never quite thought that about her… not that it really matters what I thought.
Oh, I knew she had once been a basketball player and all that… and many of the women in the league are gay. But I never thought it about Robin. But she too recently came out… having been with her lover for the past 10 years.
Though I must say… I was a wee bit taken back when my girl Cheryl Swoops left her husband and married her girlfriend some few years back. To me Cheryl had to have been the all time best female basketball player of all times. I think she is coaching now. But my goodness what a player she was…
I know you are probably waiting for me to begin 1 of my stories about having been ‘in the life‘… gay some years ago. Well, I don’t think I’m going to say much on it today. Except I had… but thank goodness I am now redeemed. And I am so glad about it.
Thank goodness God desired me… even when I wasn’t thinking about Him.
It amazes me how many comments I have gotten over Deitrick. These women sound like they hate me.
What have I done?
Deitrick doesn’t need me to do him in… he is doing a fine job of it for himself. He appears to be someone who will do whatever it takes to get you some exposure… good or bad. Nobody takes nude pictures and sends them to someone without believing they may show up somewhere.
Can’t believe Deitrick stuff is all over the internet… if it really is his. This whole Hollywood thing of exposing yourself or some video of you having sex is making me sick.
And that formula works. These people exactly get deals… and contracts behind doing indecent things.
Who ever heard of that Kardashen woman until that nasty video?
Just heard that Serena Williams just beat another victim on the tennis court. The girl is too fierce… as Patti LaBelle would say.
I think it is marvelous the depth and width of her ability to do what she does… even when she is not feeling 100 … or the ‘nay’ sayers count her out. And that is when both she and Venus really show them what they are made of.
Serena keeps racking up the wins.. demolishing the records and still can’t get the endorsement deals. I wish I owned some major corporation… because she would definitely be my spokes woman. But those people won’t do it.
Well, I have over spent my time… time for me to get up out here now….
It has started to rain. A refreshing change to saying ‘it snowing now.’
My phone dropped and broke. The store had me call these claim people for a new phone. They told me that they didn’t have my phone in stock so they were going to up grade me to the Samsung Note 3?
But you know what I really liked my phone. And particularly after I went and checked on the cost of my phone… which the woman told me was 3 hundred and something… and this new up-grade was 6 hundred and something.
Yeah, but I really like my phone… especially since the woman told me that I would have pay a $150 for this new phone. I had forgotten I had only paid $50 for mines. And guess what… when I went back to the store that phone was still $50. Forget the deductible… I want my old phone because the way I see it… those claims people are charging 3 times as much to replace it. When I can just walk into the store and buy it again at the $50 price.
Forget the deductible… I know when I am coming out ahead.
So, I have been trying to reach these claim people. And guess what?
They won’t answer.
Well, God bless…. hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Add a comment March 29, 2014
It appears that my gospel blogs… or blogs about preachers or gospel music personalities etc. are infinitely more popular than most of my other blogs lately. I find that to be interesting.
Though that blog I wrote on that father who had impregnated 3 of his own daughters has been right up there since I posted that blog. However, that story was sick. But perhaps you like sick. If so, then you are sure to get a kick out of this… though I must say it is not funny at all… and really not something to get a kick out of… nor meant to be. But it appears that these kind of shocking stories today are more and more appealing to some people… and very appalling to many of us. Here is 1 that I have been thinking about since I read the story a week or so ago over the internet.
It is about some man in Boston who they tracked down via his internet content. He was… I guess greatly into child pornography. He had posted that he was into rapping and eating children… eating as in ‘eating chicken’… cannibalism. Needless to say I am so happy that they caught him. But I could not help but wonder if the man had carried out any of what he had posted about.
Based upon his web content and various magazines and pictures of children that the police had found in his home, the man was definitely a pedophile and also into satanism. Was it not enough just stealing the innocence of young children more than enough?
Why eat them as meat too?
What happens in the minds of these people that they allow themselves to get carried away with such deep dark thoughts that take up residence within them for so long… something that resisting them gets to be no option.
Don’t we all have thoughts that can be scary if we allowed them to linger?
One of cousins told me that she used to drink heavily but 1 day she said she realized she had to quit. She said that on that 1 day she was sitting in a restaurant and across from her was a mother with a young baby. She told me that the thought came to her mind suddenly to over to the baby and stab it death with her fork. She said that that was when she knew then that she had to stop drinking. And she did.
Could it be as simple as that?
Could all these deviant thoughts… crazy thoughts… frightening thoughts… be cast off of us if we just merely chose to refuse to carry out whatever that insane thing or deviant thing… or crazy thought… or frightening thing that came into our mind was.
I do know that such wild and intensely insane thoughts do come into peoples minds. Thoughts that when carried out… become unbelievable to those who knew of the person that perpetrated some heinously insane act.
I know this because such an insane thought came into my head once. It was around about the time after I had had… given birth to my son. It was something crazy and lingered with me for a few hours if not for days. I will not say what the thought was… but for some reason it had me, somewhat. I, of course, I never acted upon it… but it was a deviant and a mad thing… the though of carrying out an action which came into my mind and spirit.
For those of you who believe in Biblical text than you will understand this statement… though for some of you it may not have much of a meaning if any at all. But the Bible says, ‘We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with principalities, spiritual wickedness etc…’ It is those principalities… those strange dark forces, that if you are not careful you can slip into… and it will use you like a wet rag then cast you off like filthy rags ready for the fire.
My cousin fortunately had the hand of God upon her life… as did I. But I think of those who don’t know Him… and have no idea how to break the chain of the demonic spirit that is forcing them to carry out some depraved act… be it murder… rape… incest… cannibalism… etc.
This makes me think of that school teacher… or rather that notorious ex-school teacher… a woman who started having a sexual relationship with a 13 or 14 year old boy in her class. The draw of being sexually involved with that boy could not be broken off of her… no matter how much the court… our legal system had tried. She even went to prison… had been publicly humiliated and yet could not stop. But again and again she would be found with that boy. I recall seeing a TV news segment of 1 of her trials, as the woman stood before the court she began pleading for help. She said, ‘I need help.’ That’s when I realize she was helpless in doing what she continued to do with that young boy.
I doubt that the court or anyone in that courtroom really heard her. But I did… it radiated at me. She was doomed and needed to have that curse broken from her. Courts and judges… lawyers and things like that they do not understand anything like that. The operate in the natural. But are some very unnatural forces out there. But those who are those like me who know the Word of the Lord understand the spirits which can come in and attack people. People who like me knew what type of real help that woman was asking for. But she never got it. Some years later she was released from prison and went back at it… her and that boy. Though he was older now… and soon she began birthing children by him. I often think of her at times… knowing that there is no way that either of them are probably happy today.
There are those who are not strong enough … and they have no power through the power or strength… which in these cases none of us have any. Only through God can the demonic spirits be cast out. God alone can turn away the evil thoughts and actions that can creep into their minds and spirit. But they simply do not know Him… the people who do such unspeakable things. They have no relationship with God. It is not through any strength of our own that keeps any of us… or has kept us from carrying out some crazy or insane acts, but through the working of God in our lives.
Because such forces are beyond anything that we can personally fight… or ever hope to truly battle and win on our own. We need God to do it… as we simply do not have the power to do it. It takes that Greater and Higher Power to handle it for us… to act on our behaves… least we fall prey to the evil that lurks in our minds… as that school teacher and countless hundreds of thousands… probably millions of others.
When you read news stories of 13 and 14 year old kids killing 1 of their mother’s and then prepare to eat her liver… you have to realize that we are in the midst of some very dark times. More and more stories of cannibalism are coming into the news lately. There had been a time when such stories were big shockers…stories of people like Jeffery Dahmer. But not today. It appears to me that daily something on cannibalism can be found in the news… and it is very disturbing.
For years we had heard of people who were into things like witchcraft that carried out such acts as the drinking of human blood. Speaking of which when I once worked in the Village, down in New York City… I was ever so surprised when 1 of my co-workers came out with this statement, of wishing he was a vampire. Near the end of life hanging out in New York City, gay clubs and the Gay & Lesbian Center in New York… I had become to be weary with all the dog collars and black leather suits. They were starting to get strongly involved into satanism, I thought. Whips and bondage had started to take a hold upon them… dominatrix… S&M was the new pleasure.
It was not until a very attractive women came to Sala Soul 1 night that I realized just how much this thing was taking a hold of them. The meeting that Thursday night was about S&M… sadomasochism… whippings and bondage for sexual pleasure. I had noticed that she was dressed all in black leather, but I had not made the connection. It was appalling to me… actually down right shocking. I was not prepared for that kind of topic… nor will ever be. But that woman’s world was the world of S&M.
She spoke about this thing that she had fallen into with such excitement and joy… that it was really hard for me to remain in my seat and not hit the door. Whereas everyone else in the room seemed to be taken by this thing that this woman was inviting them to become involved in… I rejected it. It was hard for me to believe that anyone would ever believe that… it was the 1 who was in bondage… the person handcuffed or chained… or otherwise tied up and being whipped… was the person in control.
Come on, now do you really believe that?
If you are handcuffed and have put yourself in mercy of some crazy person with a belt or whip or paddle or some other torturous device… who is standing over you inflicting you with pain… do you believe you have any power to stop that person if they decide… Well, decide to kill you… or continue to whip you though you cry out STOP?
No, you have no power… to stop them. But this woman was saying something else. And if you were sitting on the moon… like many of my Sala Soul Sisters seemed to be that, as they were very engrossed with the topic and the woman. Then maybe you might have bought that… but I did not. And nobody on this planet can tell me anything different.
But this is the mind-set of many people… to begin dipping into the macabre… stepping deeper and deeper into darkness. They begin playing with things and thoughts that take them into deep dark places… where they become lost.
A year or so… or maybe a couple of years later I happened to come across 1 of young women who had been at that Sala Soul meeting on S&M. This woman had asked a lot of questions that night, and she really seemed more than slightly interested in S&M. I guess she truly was. Because when I came across her some time later she was wearing all black leather… the dress code of those in S&M… bondage. I even made a remark about it black leather attire… and saw a look come across her face as if I had found her out. She had emerged herself into that lifestyle… and was now 1 of them… and it is a lifestyle… a sub-culture of which even they have their own flag… a nation unto itself… of highly misguided people. That was the last Sala Soul Sisters meeting I ever went to… and from that point on I began to move further and further out of ‘the Life’… meaning gay life… being a lesbian. I began to realize I had less and less common with them, my fellow Sala Soul Sisters. My thoughts were changing… and at the end I had changed.
I thank God he put something in me that has kept me from totally going crazy… or following every insane whim that came into my mind. I had limits and barriers that I would never cross because of my early child training. Training does show up… and Biblical scripture is true. Train up a child in the way that it should go, and when he is old he will not depart.
Well, so much for that… just thought I would drop in and share a few words. Hope all is well with you… and that you continue to enjoy the rest of this week.
One final note on that man from Boston who was into rapping and eating children. He requested that the state give him life… but his sentence is only for a term of 25 years. I think the Judge should have heard him… and some kind of provision was written that he would never be release back into public life again. The man obviously knows he has no power to resist the deep dark forces that lurk within him.
Well, God bless… and I guess I’ll see ya’ the next time I decide that I have something on my mind. For the record this blog was 1 of hardest to find any YouTube video for… or some pictures I really liked. Most of the stuff was just to gross or nasty for me to want to use it. But then I guess that all really goes with the type of subject matter this blog was about. Not much that any of us really want to see or know about.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment October 1, 2013
When I first got wind of this story it was while watching some camera man or woman poke a microphone in front of Jesse Jackson, Sr., his father. They were asking him about something or other and then shifted the questioning to his son. Jesse Jr. Jesse senior kind of smirked and said that his son was now doing much better following his rehab.
Hearing the word ‘rehab‘ I immediately believed that Jackson’s son had been in some type of auto accident or something. And that the reason his father was smirking was because his son was pulling through his injuries with flying colors.
But I Googled the story on Jesse junior and was very surprised. He had always looked so clean cut… spoke with such intelligence. Who would have thought that he would have become involved in drugs… much less had become an addict?
It appears that they were trying to say that it all came about due to Jesse junior falling prey to pain pills. ‘They’ being the Jackson family. But for some reason it all seemed a bit deeper than that.
In my continuing to Google more information on the story I noticed the tremendous amount of weight that Jesse junior had put on during the time since last I had seen him… it seemed to me overnight.
The Bible says that what is done in the dark comes to light… and I believe that this is the case in this story.
Now, I am not 1 for throwing stones. Goodness, no. I don’t want to do that. But as I was saying to a friend earlier today… this morning to be exact… as we were speaking on this story…
“Most people do not just start taking drugs later on in life.”
And they don’t.
They either got started in college or were doing it earlier somewhere during their growing up period. But they do not just get up and start sniffing coke or shooting up crack unless they have a history of drugs somewhere in their life.
So, I’m thinking that all those years… which really weren’t that many… since I first became award of Jesse Jackson, Jr…. who was not involved in politics until years after I left Chicago. But during the brief time that I knew of him or had seen him on TV… he appeared to be so handsome… articulate… and very clean cut. But underneath he had to had some deep dark demons … and those demons had to have been the cause of his living a double life.
Contrary to most beliefs there tons of people who live and work daily functioning on very high levels having some type of addiction. It many times is really not a very hard thing to do. We pay so little attention to the people around us really.
Many more people are functioning alcoholics or drug addicts than you may believe. The same way many people are functioning illiterates… or whatever else people may be trying to hide about themselves from others. They can function and work right beside you and you would never know anything was out of whack about them… or with them.
I once had a young lady who worked under me. She was promoted to an assistant managerial position before I began to notice anything… and it took a while for me to grab a hold of it. I had forgotten our many conversations… conversations that the young lady and I had shared together, as I was an immediate supervisor to her. But we were friendly with each other.
The conversations we had had were about her being in college… that alone would have been more than enough reason for me to never believe that she was a functioning illiterate. She spoke about going to college and having to take these ‘remedial’ classes. I actually had no clue as to what ‘remedial‘ classes were… but over a course of time while working with her… in her new capacity I came to find out.
In New York City they have this thing called ‘social promotions.’ It is when they promote students to the next level or grade not based upon what they have learned, or having successfully fulfilled their studies… but because of their age. And that young lady had been 1 of the unfortunate students who had suffered such a thing as that.
The young lady… she could not read. Something I had never gathered in all my conversations with her… and certainly during any of the time she worked directly under me. Basically because I just never had to have her read anything. And I guess if she needed to read something… a notification or company document or something… she found someone who read it for her.
So, it was not until the young lady was promoted to assistant manager where reading became crucial… and something that she definitely had to do in order to fulfill the job and on a regular daily basis. But the young lady was coy… she knew how to camouflage her handicap. As a supervisor she had people working under her, so she merely passed on the written material to 1 of them telling them to read it aloud… while she pretended to be busy doing something else.
I never found out that the young lady could not read until a worker under her came to me and told me. I had never noticed it… never guessed it… and it certainly had never been evident to me or any of the other senior managers on that job. But I never disclosed her secret… and she continued to functioned on her job without anyone being any the wiser except the 1 person she used to read company documents to her, who later herself was promoted.
So, yes alcoholics and people on drugs or those with any other kind of diversity can function normally and quite well without those around them being any the wiser. Unless, they start exhibiting signs of a problem. Which does oftentimes start happening with some people. Things like a slurring of words, staggering… missing work… having to leave work early… appearing un-kept or unshaven… clothes unclean or smelly… not showing up for appointments… being giggly or overly loud… changes in attitude… mood swings etc… can all be signs that there is a problem.
So, whether I saw it or not I am sure that there were some around him who did. Who saw that Jesse junior was on his way down.
When I first read the story I must say that it reminded of the Marion Berry story. The ex-Mayor of Washington, D.C. who was caught in a hotel room shooting up crack. A similar kind of story about a politician going down due to drugs.
In mentioning that story to my friend, who had called me on the Jesse junior story… we both had to agree that Marion Berry did not just being using drugs after he became the Mayor. No, he probably had to have had a drug problem from before that even came about, but it was on the down-low… meaning few if anybody politically connected to him knew about it.
Busted and publicly outed as a drug user Marion was yet voted back in as Mayor. And I guess Jesse junior believed that the same thing could happen for him.
But it did not. Though Jesse junior did not remove his name from the 2012 ballot for re-election… he found out that his constituents thought differently from those who voted Marion Berry back into office after having been convicted for drug use.
Recently… like just yesterday… an Illinois Judge handed Jesse Jackson, Jr. a 30 month prison conviction, and gave his wife a 12 month sentence for misappropriation of election funds from her own campaign money in her bid for State Alderman.
It appears that my friend who called me on the story followed the Jackson story a lot closer than I did. She commenced to tell me that Jesse junior and his wife were involved not only in drugs, and mis-usage of campaign funds to the tune of over $750,000… but also indulged in 3-somes… and had done a lot of foolish lavish spending which ultimately lead to their downfall… and their getting caught.
It is a shame how we vote these people into public offices believing that they are going to do and represent us in honor and with integrity. That they will be diligent in their labors and pursuits for us, as our representatives in government. And they go off and make a fool of themselves… and oftentimes of us too.
I happened to come across a YouTube video of Bishop Paul Morton announcing that he will be turning over the reigns of the leadership of the Full Gospel Fellowship to Bishop Joseph Walker, Mt. Zion Baptist Church, Nashville, TN. I need not tell you that I was taken aback by the announcement. Well, for a few reasons…
- I wasn’t ready for it.
- It shocked me.
- I never realized that Bishop Morton would retire.
And it must have been a shock to more than just me based upon the body language… and those who applauded the announcement… versus those who did not… of those standing behind Bishop Morton at the time he made that announcement.
But with all of that being said… I must say that through the years I have caught the broadcast of the Bishop Walker… and remember that not too long ago his first wife passed and after some time he later remarried. Beyond that I have nothing to say about him… because I know nothing else of him.
But I do wonder how this will play itself out amongst the inner circle of the current leadership of Full Gospel?
Usually the second or the third in command becomes the new head. So, I am sure this was a big surprise all the way around.
This was a decision made by Bishop Morton… and the Full Gospel Fellowship organization being his baby… as he organized it and gave it birth to it… he has the right to do as he wishes. I must say I thought it brave of him. I do believe that it is better to have people already in place for the sake of the organization or church so that the flow of the organization is not thrown into an upheaval when the leader passes or some other drastic change comes about suddenly.
Having, however, made such a decision will lead to challenges. There undoubtedly will be some fallout. Everybody is not going to be satisfied. Feelings were hurt and feathers ruffled… and there just is no getting around that when large and important decisions are made. And especially if something goes to someone that no one may have thought it would… for whatever reason.
Through the course of time the Full Gospel Fellowship has lost some dynamic preachers. People who went on to create their own fellowships and supposed religious dynasty’s… or desired to. Some of whom press has not been so kind to lately due to certain events either concerning themselves or their churches… such as Bishop Eddie Long and Bishop Larry Trotter. And if human nature has anything to do with it some others will probably be making an exit from Full Gospel, of this I am sure.
But I hope Bishop Walker well… and the entire congregation of Full Gospel delegates. I would believe that Bishop Morton did not create something only to 20 years later destroy it with his own 2 hands.
But there may well be some skeletons in Bishop Walkers closet. In March of last year at least 4 women filed suit against Bishop Walker and others affiliated with his mega church for the sum of $5 million… for alleged sexual harassment, aggravated sexual battery, sexual exploitation etc…
In light of this 1 has to wonder how such an appointment could have possible come about… until at least all these allegations have been dealt with… and Bishop Walker cleared of any wrong doing?
It is certainly stated in the Bible that a Bishop should be a man without blame… and a number of other things.
And as the leader of his own mega church… if Bishop Walker had not been personally involved in any wrong doings that took place at his church… just what does this, however, say about his leadership ability?
It is so odd that I should hit upon this. Because believe me leadership is not what it used to be… either on the job… or at church. And it is a shame.
Only time will tell what is going to be the amount of fallout …or disenchantment due to come about from Bishop Morton’s announcement to step down, and loosing the reigns of his leadership over the Full Gospel Fellowship.
Well, God bless… It’s Thursday and I am just trying to be as productive as I possibly can before the end of the weekend… where I just like to relax. Hope you get in some relaxation this weekend too. And the weather has been great.
I was out on the road last weekend. I love to drive. It frees my head and I enjoy in taking in the beauty of God everywhere I look. It’s free and you should enjoy it too…
How in the world would anyone even consider voting in that sexual pervert, Weiner… into any office ever again.
The mere fact that the man would ever consider EVER running for public office EVER AGAIN has got to be a joke… much less the Mayor of New York City.
It is quite obvious that the man has a massive problem… both psychological and sexual.
Was it not enough that during the time of his wife’s pregnancy he was having it out over his cell with some woman sexually, and sending her all kinds of nasty pictures of himself. Now, to be at again… and supposedly running for office too?
I would believe if he is that sick to be doing all this virtual stuff on-line with his lower part… then he probably is out and about dipping and dappling into the real thing too.
You have got to be kidding me. The man has no shame. And certainly no type of consideration for his family.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment August 16, 2013
Now, all of this from an ex-lesbian myself… and a person who has a friend who is FOREVER telling me how I think everybody is gay. Well, this story proves that to be wrong. Because I just cannot believe that Raven Symone is actually gay.
Maybe she is just going through a phase. All kids go through them… even me. And perhaps even you did too.
“A phase’… a time in our life when we tried different things then moved on.
Raven might well argue this point. But time will tell.
Supposedly involved in love relationship… or sexual relationship… Raven is said to be entangled with this woman… some ‘the next top model’ woman.
Now 27 Raven clearly at this point is supposed to be a grown woman. Least ways that is the supposed experts say. But I ask you-
At 27 were you really all that grown?
I wasn’t. And that is for sure.
It was not until I was 25 that I actually branched out and started to become sexually involved. I know… I know. I was late. But up until that point I was pretty much in Church with my parents. Well… not quite. I had stopped going to church though… but had to move out first before I could. But I had not yet hit the clubs or anything like it until a few months after I turned 25… a couple of years out of college.
This is when I started frequenting clubs… if you care to call it that. Because I really didn’t frequent clubs… and I was never a bar person because I simply did not drink… and wasn’t going to try. And I totally hated bars… and the kind of people who sat in them drinking most of their nights away.
In fact, when I did start going out it was to disco clubs… and yes they were gay… in New York… and Manhattan to be exact. And I only liked clubs with all women… primarily black women. So, that limited the places where I went. These were places like ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’… ‘Shahara,’ which was kind of mixed but up-scale… etc. I liked up-scale… but mostly went to ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’ because they had more black women. In fact, they were all mostly black… mostly Afro-centric.
But as I have stated in my previous blog,s in which I have wrote on this subject on being gay… or lesbian… and/or lesbianism. Since I was in media… a professional radio announcer… I was undercover, as most people were in my time. And during my time… when I was young being ‘out’ really wasn’t the ‘in-thing’ to do.
To tell you the truth ‘outing’ yourself… or coming out of the closet… really is a evolving thing. Though many people are now coming ‘out’ the masses, I would say have not. There are many who feel it would hurt their image… their businesses… their law practices… their family relationships… etc…etc..
So, as they call it today… I had to be on the down-low. Which I guess Raven is claiming to have been.. until now. Since she recently twitted that she is gay and can now get married… though she says she has not immediate plans to do so.
I never really hung out in town… rarely, and never became involved with anyone in my hometown. Which really was not by plan or design… it just ended up being that way. Because when I could not get to New York… I partied in a nearby town that had tons of black women who were very attractive… upwardly mobile and were ‘in the life.’ I did that until something happened with the Warehouse… it closed down. And then I discovered the wonders of New York City… and I do wonders.
I was 25 and the world was my playground. At those early ages of your young adulthood… you really are just trying to find yourself.
But going back to Raven. Having been removed from that life by some years now… and with no desire or intentions to ever go back into it… I always become sadden when I hear … read or see young girls who have gravitated towards a gay lifestyle. You see them everywhere today… and it is not hard to tell them either. And some of them appear to be quite young.
I know many who will not agree with me on this… and some will even get mad. But that is okay… get mad. And I really do not care who does or does not agree with me.
You cannot expect to be happy when you are living outside of the will of God.
There were, of course, numerous times I felt that I was quite happy while I was doing my thing ‘in the life’… that is what we called it then… besides saying ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I’m a lesbian.’ You would just say ‘I’m in the life.’
But way down deep I was not happy. I do realize that now… but didn’t then. And I am not saying that people cannot or are not lonely… unhappy… or do not shed tears in heterosexual life, or any other lifestyle. But therein lies the problem.
When you live in a world that you define yourself by your sexual preference… then this means you are living to satisfy your sexual being. In Church they call it being ‘carnal.’
I can clearly say that while I was in that life… sex had a hold of me. And when I was loosed from the bondage of being gay… a lesbian… and released from desiring sex during great periods of my waking time… I cannot tell you how happy I have come to be free of it all.
I now know real happiness… and have a freedom that I just cannot explain. When I didn’t have a lover while I was in that life… man… It was all I craved. That is because I was caught up in the sex. Sex had a hold of me. It controlled me. Not in the way that I just did anything… or went to bed with just anybody.
Today, I do not live defining myself sexually. There is no need.
Why would I want to?
My life is not defined sexually. I am greater than being just a sexual being. Sex no longer has its control over me. I am free. And I walk in liberty.
A very beautiful young lady, Raven is very much grown up… and definitely seems to have her head on in the right place, and clearly very much unlike most Hollywood types. It is my hope that if Raven Symone really is gay… and I say ‘if’ because a lot of women… and young girls try it. For some it is nu-vogue… the thing to do. To walk around telling people that they have a ‘girl-friend.’ It is kind of a hip thing for them.
But if Raven is… I hope that it is merely just a stage in her life. A stage that she will soon get over… and move on from it without too much pain. And that she is fortunate enough to be discovered by a wonderful man… who will love her… become her husband, and the father to her children.
Well, I have said it. Now, I guess I am going to hear from a lot of people who may disagree. But that is okay… I love hearing from you all… whether we are in agreeance of not.
Well, God bless… I’m waiting on my son now who is suppose to be coming to pick me up. So, let me just say quickly… I hope you have a beautiful rest of the week.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
Add a comment August 7, 2013
You would think that 1 of the hottest topics at the Atlanta Hair Show would have been about some fantastic hair-do… but it wasn’t. Way from it.
The buzz on the floor and from booth to booth was about Will Smith and Jeda Pickett-Smith.
I had long ago wrote a glowing blog about them being great role models and a beautiful couple… but who knew that all was not what it seemed?
They seemed to be the perfect couple. Happy… and certainly with it all going on. But who knew what dark little secrets lurked deep down within?
Who knew that it was at all as it was made to seem?
I thought them happy. I thought them perfectly matched. I thought that they truly loved one another. I thought that there was nothing that could drive them apart. I thought…
Well, I thought all was well. But it seems that it wasn’t. And that it was far from being well.
It was my son that broke the news to me saying-
But who knew?
Well… I knew someone who knew… and she told me it many years ago saying-
“Awh, come on, Bern… don’t you see it. If you don’t then you are the only 1 who doesn’t.”
But I refused to accept it. But it seems that she was right… that same friend who I wrote about in my blog about the DeBarge family… the 1 who I used to laugh with when we would giggle over, and pick fun at how sissy the DeBarge brothers all seemed. Yeah, her…
And he said they got tired of having an open marriage.
I said –
“What? What do you mean an open marriage?”
I was thinking he was talking about the usual kind of thing maybe some other woman … or possibly another man. The man part was right… but he wasn’t talking about Jeda.
It was Will.
And my son said that everybody at the hair show was talking about it. Since the hair show was made up of a large number of gay men… I immediately began to think that this had to be true. Because gay men are in the know about such things as this. And from men to women at the hair show… they were all buzzing about it.
I have yet to pull myself up off the floor behind this. Some things really do come as such a surprise… and this was 1 for me. Though I have to say it again… my friend had told me it long ago, when Will was playing as the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.
It was something I guess I never wanted to see… and perhaps way down deep I was hoping it wasn’t so. And I STILL AM.
I really thought Will and Jeda made for a great couple. They seemed to be great parents …and they seemed to place a high value on family.
Though I wasn’t particular about their new-found religious beliefs… and how after coming into all that money they decided that they wanted to convert into becoming members of the Church of Scientology. Which struck me as a Hollywood thang… for the $20 million plus crowd. Which Will stepped into many years ago after leaping from the small screen onto the large screen… with a massive following.
It is disappointing really. But I guess we are all chased by demons at some point or other in our lives. The trick is to not allow them to consume us. And to fight until we win… and not them.
There seems to be a rash of men and women stepping into the gay lifestyle. For some it seems to be hip…even fashionable. But for others it is something that they have been drawn into … whether by their own fascination …or by some type of inducement… enticement… inquisitive nature … or whatever have you. And clearly I forgot about acts of abuse as another root cause for some.
But for whatever reason it seems to be growing. Or maybe it is that it is more open. Perhaps, the latter is probably the real case.
And it seems to me that I see so many young school kids making choices at early ages about such things. And many of them… especially the girls are deep into role-playing… meaning dressing or acting out the male role.
Having come out ‘the life’… meaning having been gay myself… I cannot help but feel for them. So, I study them and watch them… and can’t seem to take my eyes off them. Because I hate to see anyone commit their lives to something that is so anti-them.
I can’t say that I hated me. But I did hate what I looked like… hated my size… and I can’t remember what else. But I never really liked me.
I never thought I was pretty or anything like that. And my interest were not really in girl-ly things.
But I never desired to be a boy… and certainly not a man. I did like that part about me.
So, I never considered role-playing as an option for me… though for most of my relationships with women …I was designated as what would have been the male role. Because even in not playing roles… somehow you end up in them. Somebody is going to be more fem …and somebody butch. And it is because that is how life is… and we imitated life and the various categories of life as 2 people together.
But I really get disturbed at seeing so many young people gravitating towards an alternate lifestyle. And particular those who are so young… young girls and boys in the 7th or 8th grade.
CLICK. It has just dawn on me that I was in the 9th grade when some girl first started following me around… and later began to stick letters into my locker. How quickly we forget.
I rarely think of it now. Her letters turned into phone calls when she happen to come upon my sister 1 day… telling my sister that I had given her our phone number… and that she had lost it. So, my sister accommodated her by giving it to her again… or so she thought.
This is when I found out that all those mysterious letters in my locker were coming from a girl. It is funny because I never ever talked to that girl face 2 face… until much later in our lives. Because for 1 thing I was afraid of her…
Once I realized what was going on I soon began to notice that that girl used to walk pass all my classrooms. She used to just stand there outside my classrooms looking through the glass door at me. She also used to sneak into the 9th grade lunch… as she at the time was only an 8th grader… and she would always sit somewhere across from me… watching me… staring at me. It is funny how I had never noticed her before… but then I had thought it was some boy sending me all those letters.
Though the girl never tried to hurt me… or ask me to do anything sexually… I nevertheless kept my distance from her.
Believe it of not I had actually finished this blog…BUT LOST EVERYTHING BELOw THIS. So, at some point maybe I may come back and redo it. But not right now …or tonight it is after 4 AM…
So, please forgive me while I get some sleep.
Well, God bless…
Add a comment August 24, 2011
How do you jeopardize everything by getting caught up in virtual sex?
Believe it or not so many people are caught up in sexual internet encounters. They are intrigued with meeting up with sexual partners over the internet…and go rushing to get back on-line day after day… or night after night to continue their on-line internet intrigue of sexual encounters. With many of them… ‘the people’ doing this…ending up rushing off to meet physically with their virtual love interest.
You would not believe the numbers…
Yes, ‘the NUMBERS’ of people that become introduced via social networks over the computer is astounding. And they become so wrapped up in technical instruments… be it their computer or their cell phone… their ipad… or laptop …as long as it keeps them plugged into whoever it is that is whetting their sexual appetites over those instruments.
What is the intrigue?
What is the enticement?
What makes so many men and women crazy enough to get so deeply involved in this kind of thing?
And you would be surprised about the number of women and men who are in ‘the church’ who are as involved in this type of behavior… if not more so than those outside of the church.
I first learned of this when I happened to be downtown Brooklyn preparing to get ready for an edit session, when an older minister came swinging into the room. He proclaimed that he was on his way out of town but wanted to check on something over the computer. The room was lined with computers… and he fell into a seat at 1 of them… and he began talking to me as he struck the keypad to the computer.
He told me how he was meeting up with women over the internet for sex, and that this was how he was now spending much of his time.
Without any shame or remorse he began opening up pictures over the internet to show me various black women he had carried on with… and was now carrying on with. They were mostly women outside of New York… a lot of them in the south. But I was…
Well, I was shocked.
All I could think was…
“What kind of Preacher is this?”
I stood there looking down on the man… as he gleefully went about his task of communicating with these women over the internet. I could not phantom myself wanting to do anything like that.
That man had it bad… but if I thought he was bad… 1 of my sisters overtook him. And soon after…
Well, maybe a year or so later after finding out about her absorbtion in this mess… I came to find out that thousands of women had fallen into the very same trick bag. And they too were rushing off to points unknown… like crazy to meet up with men that they had become enticed with over the internet.
Not to mention the hundreds of women who up and marry strangers that they become entangled with over their computers.
This thing is an epidemic. Truly…
I don’t understand it… but I know that it can all happen quickly.
I recall when I first started learning the computer… which believe it or not really wasn’t so long ago. Oh… yes it was… now that I think about it. It was about 10 years ago… No, I think a little more.
My then lover had taken it upon herself to teach me how to get started. We had gone up over to the Black Voices’ site into a chat room.
Don’t hear too much about them today… since 1 on 1 conversations have proven to be far more better…I guess. You also don’t have wonder about who is talking to who. And besides the technology has improved vastly. It has become by far very much more advanced.
But back then it wasn’t all that shabby either over a period of time… basically slower… much slower.
But getting back to what I was saying… as we were sitting there at the computer… me and my lover… I got my first ‘IM.’ I didn’t even know what the thing was… it was an ‘instant message’ she told me. But it was really more like an ‘instant photo.’
Wow… this was great I thought. But my lover didn’t like it… because the woman was attractive and told me all kinds of information about herself. She lived in D.C. etc…etc… But that thang came so quick… it was just like that. And if my lover had not been sitting there I might have struck up a conversation with that woman.
But today the technology is even better… and quicker. The systems are more compact and lighter as well. You don’t need to sit at your dusty computer all night anymore. All you need is your cell phone or ipad… or whatever you have and the possibilities are unlimited.
But would you really risk it all for some lewd encounter over the internet?
I was never really a chat room person. But the 1 sister I referenced above… she stayed there. Now, she is on to the next level…social networks. First it was myspace…now facebook… and who knows what else.
She has met countless men during the course of these past …I don’t know …but I am sure more than 10 years of being involved in this type of behavior. She is overcome by it… and sadly many many …many other women are too.
Personally, I think it is just a step up from prostitution. You are just not getting paid for it. Well, maybe they are if you consider dinner and a cheap hotel constellation for your services.
Needless to say… I have spent many hours considering the actions which she takes so lightly… and prayerfully so. I find it hard to believe that anyone would trust such encounters… if for no other reason than just the health risk alone.
How do you so willingly trust people who many of them over the internet… use a bunch of alias’… and tell a bunch of lies.
And if they really had anything going on in their lives would not have to be meeting up with people over the internet.
And the worst thing about it is this…
- How do you go running off to meet up with somebody you don’t even know?
And all that you do know is what they have told you… which for the most case is a bunch of nothing. Just some stuff to make you all hot and bothered… and eager to give them what they want.
Maybe, I am not the brightest or the smartest… but I am not going to involve myself with seeking out people over the internet to fall into bed with… or with the hope that they will become my husband or wife.
The old fashion way of meeting people… and getting to know people worked just fine for me when I was doing that kind of thing. And I would never be fool enough to want to risk my life… or livelihood on a virtual reality relationship of any sort.
Evidently, Congressman Weiner was quite proud of his lower half. So much so that he would take pictures of it and forward them out to women …and possibly young girls… over the internet.
It is all so boyish to me… childish. I recall when growing up… and it seemed that young boys are so anxious to show you their stuff. I really cannot remember how many times those of the male species had exposed themselves to me. Or tried to grab my hand and try to force me to touch something that I did not want to touch… that was attached to them.
But certainly by the time they become adults… I would think that they would have all grown out of obsession with it. But not so.
Once while standing down on the platform of the subway waiting on my train… I happened to glance across to the platform just across from me. There staring at me was a man openly exposed with his penis in hand and ejaculating.
I have no idea of what all the intrigue with their lower part is… but somehow those men who have not outgrown playing with themselves in public places… or flashing themselves at women… truly they need to get a life. And put their hands and heads on bigger and brighter things in this world.
And some women are just as bad… but they do it in other less obvious ways.
No doubt it is truly a spirit which overtakes people. But the Bible says… ‘be ye not enticed.’
I find nothing enticing in it. I have always shied away from people who seemed to be too sexually aggressive. I found it to be a big turn off. Today… though I do not dwell on sex… but I know that many do.
I am so happy that God released me from the trap that I was in. I used to be driven by sexual desire. It was all I could think of.
Some might say that I was a late bloomer since I had not dealt sexually until after I hit the ripe old age of 25. But even then I was timid… highly selective… and quite discrete.
But sexual desire had me. It held me captive. But thank God… He set this captive free… and I now walk in liberty.
I cannot think of anything I would rather not do …than to once again fall prey to my old sexual ways. To be caught up in sex. It was all I would think about… and all I wanted to do. I am soooooooo happy to be free.
But Weiner was as dumb as they get.
As much as I was driven by my desires… I never did anything that would make a fool out of me.
Perhaps, I was a bit prudish in my ways. I had heard it said of me… that I liked doing it… but I just didn’t like talking about it. Nor was I willing to film any video tape footage of me indulging sexually… or take any photos of me naked. I have to admit that… at the time I liked to hang out at a certain nude beach… but that was the extent of my public exposure.
Once a woman sent me a nude photo of herself. This was before computers… when I opened the envelope I was horrified. I dropped that picture like it was something hot. The woman was totally naked… and she had positioned herself with her legs wide open. I will stop there.
I could barely pick up that picture. I didn’t even want to touch it to stuff it back into an envelope and forward it right back to her. How dare anyone send me such filth. I forgot what I wrote back to that woman… but it was not nice.
No rational person would involve themselves in such behavior. The man had a wife who based upon the news is currently pregnant with their first child… and he was or ‘is’ a Congressman. How could he have acted so foolishly …and so carelessly.
The Bible says… ‘what is done in the dark will come to light.’
Weiner after initially lying… saying that a hacker had done it… he now states that he mistakenly sent the photo of his lower part by error over Tweeter. He stated that when he realized his mistake he quickly tried to remove the photo. Needless to say… by that time it was a little too late.
In all of his excitement… Weiner certainly ‘exposed’ himself. It came to light…
Well, I really only got up to go to the bathroom. Never intended to write this… but I had fallen asleep with my son’s laptop resting partly on my stomach and upper legs.
So, just as I crawled back into bed… I decided to check the news headlines. And it read… ‘Weiner admits lewd tweets.’
After nearly 2 weeks of lying about it Anthony Weiner finally decided to breakdown and tell somewhat of the truth. It is kind of like John Edwards over his mistress and baby outside of his marriage… or like Bill Clinton in the White House with Monica. Or like that Senator in the men’s bathroom… something about his foot and the stall next to his.
We have been through it before… and it always seems that if we give it a week or so the story will change. The lie becomes a half truth… because you can’t really believe that a liar is really going to tell you the truth… not the whole or even the real truth. They only admit to just enough… but never tell us really ‘the truth’ concerning the matter for which they have become embroiled.
We never quite get the whole sordid truth out of them.
But do we really need to… or expect to?
Do you recognize any of these faces?
Do you remember any of their initial stories?
Wait a minute… I think that there are a few pictures missing.
Is morality a thing of the past?
I have got to get some sleep. It is starting to rain now. I hear it lightly hitting the windowpane. Good night… rather morning…and enjoy your weekend.
Well, God bless…
Add a comment June 11, 2011
I have never thought much of Arnold Schwarzenegger since a controversy once arose about him being a racist. I have since forgotten the details… but I think it had to do with him not hiring minorities within his staff, as governor of California. Or maybe it was something to do with him not having any minorities in his movies.
Through the course of living we have grown accustom to reading and hearing stories of men and women who have fallen down… who were living double lives and baring children with people outside of their vows of matrimony. So, this story about Arnold Schwarzenegger really shouldn’t be a great surprise. He is afterall… a man.
Don’t you hate hearing that?
“Well, he’s just doing what men do.”
“All men do it.”
“Maybe he wasn’t getting any at home.”
And the list goes on and on… as to the kinds of things people will say.
But sometimes we are caught off guard. People who we never would have suspected… though I would never classify Arnold as 1 of those as there had been rumors. Things about him groping and feeling up on women. But there were people like for instance… John Edwards. Even watching that mess unfold while standing at the counter of a local corner store… I just could not believe it. Not him was all I kept saying. Not goody 2-shoes… squeaky clean John Edwards. The John Edwards who said-
“I’m in love with my childhood sweetheart… that John Edwards?”
Then before him… there rose up Jesse Jackson. What a fine dude he was in his day. And I do mean fine.
He was the 1 that all the networks turned to concerning ‘black issues.’ He was a man for all season when it came to… his peoples…
Up to the point where he called Obama the ‘N’ word. But let’s go back before that… to those pictures displayed upon the front page of the New York Post and everywhere else… of Jesse… and ‘the’ woman… the very pregnant woman …carrying his ‘love’ child… who at the time that story broke… she had already had the baby. That was the picture with him and Bill Clinton…another 1… and her just grinning like there was not going to be a tomorrow for any of them.
Yes…the ‘right’ Reverend Jesse Jackson. Needless to say that controversy certainly changed a lot of people’s opinion about him… and what he truly represented. Which as already mentioned… was compounded by that little incident with him talking off camera with an open mic on… talking some crazy stuff about what he would like to do to Obama while referencing him with the ‘N’ word.
Clearly, if I had been Jesse’s wife… and I have said it over and over… since seeing that 1 picture in the New York Post. The 1 with the woman being 7 or 8 months pregnant with Jesse standing… I think behind her… grinning from ear to ear with his hands stretch around her inflated belly.
Oh, yeah… I would have been just like Morgan Freeman’s wife, and got me 1 of those high power lawyers. And he would have been seeing stars for the rest of life… after I got through with him. He would have been too dizzy to ever walk up onto any stage ever again… when I got through with him. But I guess Jesse’s wife is kinder… gentler… and more forgiving than I am.
But some women when they have had enough… they truly have had enough. And Morgan Freeman’s wife was 1 of those women.
One could argue… what was he thinking?
Maybe it was a lapse in judgment.
But for how many years did he suffer that lapse?
I am talking about Schwarzenegger now. What could he have been thinking? And to be doing it with someone who worked within his own house. Who was impregnated with his child at about the exact same time as his wife with their last child.
And who allowed the other woman… a maid to bring that child into the house of his wife… where this little boy probably played with his other son… the 1 born about the same time as the child he fathered with the maid… a woman who worked for his wife… aiding Maria around the house… and probably with her children as well.
Is this a confusing story?
Obviously, not. It did not seem to confuse Arnold at all. Because some how during the course of the last 10 to 13 years… the span of the life and birth of his outside son… he never slipped up. That is Maria Striver claims to have never known about the child before Arnold finally told her about him some weeks ago. Whereupon, she packed up and moved out… taking her children with her.
Not to be or seem evil… but I never thought the Striver/Schwarzenegger marriage was a good match. And it goes beyond him being Republican… and her being deeply rooted as a Democrat.
It just seemed to me that Arnold Schwarzenegger had a need to legitimize himself. Coming from Austria… and having a funny last name… combined with a funny and then quite thick accent… as well as… I guess he had some political ambitions. What better way to create for himself the type of American acceptance that he might not have ever gotten any other way than by marrying a Kennedy.
In seeing a picture of the woman… 1 would have to wonder what did Arnold see in her. She appears to be older than Maria… and I don’t know what she looked like some 20 years ago when she started working for the Schwarzenegger family… but that is all gone now. But then I thought that about the woman John Edwards impregnated… and about Marla Maples or Naples…or whatever her name was. The woman who Donald Trump took up with… and soon married. She probably was pregnant too… because that whole thang happened pretty quick. And soon it was over.
They snub their noses at those who do not have the money that they do… or who do not live quite as well off as they do. I’m talking about the supposed ‘high class’ who talk about… ‘all they do is make babies.’ But when push comes to shove they themselves are about as ‘ghetto fabulous’ as those they often look down upon. And they have far less class in the dealings of their own infidelity… than those they shun.
Though now nearing the end of his term as a governor, I have no doubt… Arnold felt it now safe to disclose his little secret. However, what men do not take into account is how women feel about men who cheat. And particularly if they not only cheat …but also make someone pregnant in the process of their cheating. And don’t let them walk around for years like they had not done anything… pretending.
But Arnold was so bold… he got the woman pregnant and then decided he wanted to be governor too. That is about just as bad as John Edwards deciding to run for President of the United States a second time… while his wife is dying of cancer… and his mistress was pregnant.
And to put the icing upon the cake for Arnold… it was all done within the preview of his wife and children. Right there under their own noses.
This is why I will never be able to stand that little guy… Woody Allen. I will never support him or anything that he does. To think that Mia Farrow adopted some children… and during the course of some time… he began taking lewd and questionable pictures of the then quite young girl… whom he later divorces Mia Farrow for… so that he could marry her.
What kind of craziness was that?
Clearly, the man had… and has problems. And I for 1 do no sanction them.
Another rat was… or is… that Rudolph Giuliani. Yeah, that guy from New York City who used to be the Mayor…then ran for President… and might try to run again. But he will never make it. Because women do not forget.
Giuliani… when he was Mayor of New York started seeing this women. This woman… he would bring to Gracie Mansion… the Mayor’s place of residence. in New York. This mind you was where his wife and his son lived. And Giuliani… the good mayor… would have this woman staying there with him… under the same roof with his wife and child.
What kind of a dog is that?
At least in the ghetto… most men know not to try that. If the woman doesn’t have an apartment of her own… then they know how to find a cheap motel or hotel. But ain’t nobody in the ghetto going to pull up to his wife’s house talking about he going to bring some other woman… in there to do his thing. Huh-uh… that ain’t happening… ever. Not with the wife knowing about it… it is not. Definitely not.
You have got to be kidding. And I am not joking about this… as this type of behavior is not acceptable. It is immoral …and it can be traced throughout history. Infidelity is not new… you only have to go back a few years to Bill Clinton and his little 24-year-old friend… named Monica.
It would seem that wedding vows do not mean very much today. Maybe never… as long as men and women have allowed themselves to become enticed sexually outside of their marriages.
Through the course of the 20 years that woman who worked in the Schwarzenegger household was taken care of by Schwarzenegger. Who knows maybe Schwarzenegger placed her there… got her the job in his home in the first place?
But upon retiring from her job as a maid for the Schwarzenegger… he bought the woman a nearly $300,000 house in an exclusive LA residence. And it also looks like he paid for her to have a boob job as well. Because in her pictures she clearly looks like she had 1. It does not look natural.
The 1 thing about outside of a marriage children… it is funny how many times those children look more like the men that fathered them… than the children within the marriage.
The Bible says a good name is worth more than rubies. I was listening to a Preacher preach and he began to talk about rubies. He said that rubies are more rare than diamonds. I had never thought about that… but you know what it is true.
The way most things operate in this world is based upon supply and demand. The higher the demand and the less the supply…the greater the price. Except for this 1 thing… rubies. We often hear of the diamond mines in South Africa and other places. There are some areas where I have heard it said that they… the people who live in some places… almost stumble upon diamonds daily. In these places the people are banned from gathering the diamonds in their country. But I have never heard anything about rubies. I really don’t even know where most rubies come from.
Hold it …I have got to ‘google’ this up.
They are 2nd only to diamonds …and are only the 2nd hardest mineral known to man. They are found in Thailand, India, Madagascar, Zimbabwe, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Kenya, Tanzania, Kampuchea, and most notably in Burma. And here is 1 for you… they are also found in North Carolina… right here in the United States. Imagine that and we rarely ever hear anything about rubies.
But back in Biblical times it is possible that rubies were considered more valuable than diamonds are today. Because the Biblical texts says that ‘a good name is worth more than rubies.’
When you think of it through history certain family names have stood out in this country such as ‘the’ Kennedy’s… ‘the’ Rockefeller’s… and so on. And with those names has come a certain level of respect… and to degree of regard… reverence and honor. These names are held in high regard and come with a track record so to speak of commitment and success. Having such a name opened doors and created opportunities for those who bared their family mark… their name.
Maria Striver has held onto her family identity being part of the Kennedy clan. I never once ever heard her being refered to as Maria Schwarzenegger. Though I guess that was kind of hard to get away from totally as she was, and at this time… still is married to Arnold… who is still governor of California.
How it all plays out remains to be seen. But Maria has lawyered up… and if she moves forward this will be a big 1. And it will cut deeply into Arnold’s fun money.
The moment I read the headline to this story… I knew that I was going to write something on it.
I cannot believe that a 17 or 18…or maybe 20 something young woman would elect to surgically have her body transformed to pretend to be something that she is not. But then to do it… and want to play on the women’s basketball team… is more than a bit puzzling to me.
What is the point?
It just does not make sense. Maybe the boys team is too rough for her… or whomever.
Okay…so, you believe that you are man… and that somehow your body type got confused. And you decide to straighten out whatever mistake that you tell yourself that God must have made… why then after doing all of this… changing your sexual organs and such… I guess… from female to male… then why would you want to play basketball on the women’s team?
Could it be that somewhere down deep… she still feels and knows that she is really a woman?
Perhaps, as confusing to me …it must have been for the young lady, Kye Allums, who ventured out to do it. And recently she has decided to come off of the Georgetown University women’s basketball team amid all this controversy.
It is perplexing.
And maybe… you don’t care to hear this. But if it had not been for the Lord we would all be just as equally confused. Making all kinds of crazy decisions and seeing them as right.
I first heard this story when a friend relayed it to me. I, of course, had always had my own thoughts on this as I had come in contact with Queen Latifah a couple of times. I hadn’t run into her at any parties …but I had heard where she hung out at when she came across the bridge into Manhattan.
And I am all for letting people along… and letting them live their lives. I once was there and I always felt that what I did in the privacy of my bedroom was my own personal business. I, of course, at that time never had any consideration of God. I just felt that as along as it didn’t involve children or animals… then leave me alone.
I also felt that same way about other people and their lives. I never liked listening to people tell me about their long weekends with their boyfriends. BORING.
Because I never thought of the workplace as a place of sharing every detail… and particularly those kind of stories. I was more quiet… laid back. I didn’t talk about my business… and only half listened to what other people were telling me about theirs.
So, the story is finally out… and with pictures. But if you believe it or not… because most people believe whatever they want to… pictures or no pictures anyway. I have always admired Queen Latifah. I am not interested in looking into anyone’s bedroom… I have too much on my own plate for that.
But to me Queen Latifah has always been a good role-model. Even as a rapper… she did not sell herself out… or our people… or other women. She was clean… decent… and came with rapps that jammed not insulted… or made us shame. And then she flipped that around and made herself a movie star…it just showed that she was also capable of reinventing herself… and she was always an entrepreneur.
So, I applaud her.
The fact that you or I may not agree with what she does in the bedroom… does not take away from the fact that she is an adult woman making her own choices and decisions and doing well at doing so. And 1 day she may make another decision just as I did… but that choice is hers… God gave that right to her.
But here is something we can all agree upon… at least she is not walking around trying to make it seem that it is alright. She is not flaunting it.
That takes me now to Tonex. I saw Lexi’s interview… even posted a blog about Tonex. But it is hard for me to agree with anyone who knows scripture… as it is written in the Holy Bible… to believe that living such a life is agreeable to the will of God. It is totally out of step… and I would be remiss if I did not say so.
To some level I will not deny that I have and do still now suffer with my own level of homophobia… which might sound strange coming from an ex-lesbian. But even while living ‘in the life’… I had it. But the 1 thing that I am careful not to do… is to hopefully not offend… hurt… or despise anyone. Nor do I poke fun at… or laugh at… or make light of any situation of being. And this is the way that more people should come to be.
I am not talking about being in acceptance… but being understanding… loving… kind… and not confrontational. The Bible say that with ‘love and kindness have I drawn thee.’
Find that spirit within yourself… and you may start drawing more people to the Lord.
Oh, on my final note… since so many people have been hitting my blog for more information on Cher’s ex-daughter…Chastity… since the release of some pictures this week and the announcement that she is going to marry her long time girl-friend. Here is what I have to say on the matter…
Well, she has managed to harden her facial features and looks more like a man… but at the end of the day… none of us can really un-do anything that God has done. No matter how hard me try… or how much medication… and surgeries you have. It can’t be undone… no matter what the mirror says… or what people tell you.
I’m sorry, Chastity… it is just the way that it is.
Gender transitioning is a misnomer. There is no such thing as transitioning your sex into another. We are what God says we are. Removing or having certain things changed about our physical being does not change our basic DNA. It may corrupt certain cells etc… even effect parts of our chemical make-up. But it is impossible to totally reconstruct certain core things about our inner workings and true gender.
If you can transition your sex… then why stop there?
Why not transition yourself into being rich… or famous?
That’s the point… it just does not happen like that. Though becoming rich and famous are certainly reasonable and achievable goals. But reconstructing your entire physical chemistry is not.
Well, I have been working on this blog for the better part of my day now. Started at about 2:30 this afternoon… and it’s now a little after 4:30 in the morning. Definitely time for me to go to sleep now.
But I did get up to mop the kitchen and bathroom… and got me something to eat in the in-between time. In a few hours it will time for me to get up and go to church. So, I will say good-night…
Hope you have a bless day… and weekend. They say mostly sunny and warm weather this week. I really didn’t mind what we got this past week. It was dark and rainy most of the time. But I like the rain… and that is not to say that I don’t equally enjoy the sun. Because I do.
Well, God bless…
2 comments May 22, 2011
I rarely follow 1 blog right behind the other… but I just finished reading this as I hit the button and said ‘post’ to my last blog.
It is a story about a woman who killed herself and 3 of her children with her. Perhaps, you heard or read this story. I now recall hearing someone vaguely mentioned something about it last week while I was in the beauty salon getting my hair done for Easter.
So, I just finished reading the story to the situation…just CLICK the LINK ABOVE if you want to read it too… if you haven’t done so already.
Much effort in the story…the slant in the story is who is to blame.
Who is to BLAME??????
I am a firm believer that we all have to take responsibility for all our own actions. It is something I tried to teach my son and to all of my nieces and nephews. Because at the end of the day… we have no one to blame but ourselves for the course of our own lives. And many of the events that happen in it.
In the above story about this young woman who decided to take her own life and the lives of her children… just 3 of them by default. Because she had a 4th child but when she drove into the Hudson River…he being older (her eldest child)…I think the story stated that he was anywhere from 7 to 10 years old. But he somehow managed to swim a shore.
Supposedly, just prior to the woman driving into the Hudson River… she had just had an argument with her boyfriend. The man who happened to be the father of her last 3 children… to which she was not married.
The story states that the father… the man who was the father of the woman last 3 children was 25 years old. Which leads me to believe that the woman who committed the murder/suicide… was also somewhere in her early 20’s.
The story goes that she supposedly became distraught after the argument… jumped into her car after packing in her children… and headed for a ramp leading into the Hudson River.
Now, who is to blame?
Some I have no doubt blame it upon the times.
Some maybe blame it upon the hardship of just being a mother.
Others might say that she just became ‘overwhelmed.’
Then others might just say that she was just plain crazy.
Any and all of these might very well be true.
But I see it as a bigger picture which is why I am taking this time now… while I should be up and doing something else… to write on this issue.
And it is an issue.
Recently, 1 of my brothers started seeking treatment for diabetes. A couple of weeks ago he was in the hospital due to now dying kidneys. Upon him being released from the hospital he called me and asked me to come sit with him. So I have.
I have also started going with him to all his doctor’s appointments… and that has meant that every week since he came out of the hospital I have been sitting in some doctor’s office listening to them discuss my brother’s condition with him and me.
A couple of times my brother had me pull up to a liquor store telling me he was going in to cash a check. But the other day as we were on our way to the doctor I smelled the smell of alcohol upon him. So, I asked him about it and he told me that-
“Yeah, I take a couple of sips every now and then. Ain’t no big biggy.”
Here he is dizzy and hands shaking…and his kidneys on near collapse, and he is telling me that taking a drink of alcohol is ‘no biggy’ …not a big thing?
Who in the world does my brother think that he is kidding?
Perhaps, he is trying to fool himself.
But I asked the doctors-
“Is there anyway possible that he can be maintained right here at this level without him going on dialysis?”
And somewhat hesitantly the doctor kind of said yes. But only if my brother did what he was supposed to do.
But while at another doctor’s office when the doctor asked him about drug abuse… my brother informed him of something I was not aware of. He told the doctor he used to snort heroin. I just thought people shot that up… that is how native I am about drugs and alcohol.
But when the doctor asked my brother why he had done it… my brother told him because he had gotten with the wrong girl.
The doctor then commenced to tell me brother to not blame that on the girl. And that he… my brother had made the choice for himself to do it. That the girl had not forced him to do anything.
And the doctor told my brother that he needed to take the responsibility for the choices that ‘he’ …my brother had made.
Having said that I imagine that you can guess where I am going with this. But I am lead to speak it anyhow.
In regards to the young woman who drove into the Hudson River killing herself and 3 of her children… who would you say is to blame?
Who would you blame for her chain of circumstances?
Who would you say put her in the situation where she found herself?
Did her environment have anything to do with it?
Was it a matter of up-bringing?
Who made the choice to lay down and bare all those children?
Would marriage have made a difference in this story?
Can anyone say that anyone does not know or believe that the act of engaging in sex was not given to us merely for pleasure… but for procreation?
A vast majority of women become pregnant usually after indulging once… the very first time. This was true for me as well. So, I know this for myself. But I elected not to continue.
I made my choices too.
Oh, I wasn’t against having children. I wanted as many as I could have. Truly, when I was a very young girl I made that decision 1 day. But I also made another decision… that I wanted to save myself for my husband. And I did up until the age of 25.
At that point I stepped into another lifestyle that greatly variated and deviated from the thoughts of me as that young school girl. But had I not… I still doubt that I would have laid down and allowed people to use me time and time again without any commitment… while yet aiding me into digging myself into a deeper hole.
Because truly 1 could say that the young man in this story…the supposed father… did aid in digging this young lady into a deeper and deeper hole. And without a doubt he does have his own share of blame concerning some of the problems and difficulty in her young life …and the lifes and end of lifes concerning his children.
But every choice made by that young woman was her own… including the thought and action of committing suicide …and the eventual murder of 3 of her 4 children.
In terms of Biblical text…1 could look at the story of Leah. But the difference here was that Leah was married to Jacob. And though Jacob loved Rachel… and was married to both… there had to been something about Leah. Because she continued to give birth to children for him. In fact, Leah was the mother of Judah… and Judah is the line under which both David and Jesus emerge.
But getting off the Biblical angle and just going back to today’s reality… and this story there is only 1 reality when it comes to baring child after child for someone you hope you will be able to hold onto… or who will marry you. And that is… baring children is not going to do it for you.
Yes, you have created a tie with a person that will be between you and that person for as long you and/or he and/or the child lives… and in this case children lived. But that is it.
It does not make them love you. There is nowhere written that after Leah bared Jacob all those sons…and a daughter… that at any time Jacob came to love Leah.
But just for the sake of Biblical text… let me note that Leah did get him in the end. Because Jacob was buried in the tomb with her… while Rachel was buried along side the road on their way after having died in child-birth.
And that is the travesty of it all. Because at the end of the day it does not matter what area you come from… or your level education… or your socio-economic advantages… or the lack thereof… if you do not love yourself you will continued to make mistake after mistake and doom your own life. And there will be no one to blame but you… yourself … and the ‘I’ whoever you are.
I have no doubt that the young woman in this story became overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed with having made 1 bad choice after another… and another.
Overwhelmed with trying to deal with those bad choices and not having any real support mechanism in place that might have aided her… or even assisted her in some way to start making some good choices in order to turn her life and situation around.
Nobody heard her voice. Nobody saw her tears… nobody realized that she was way over being overwhelmed.
I am sadden by the lost of her… and her innocent little children. And by the knowledge that the little son which survived will now live with this for the rest of his life.
If any of us were perfect then I guess we could all point fingers and laugh… joke about this… I guess to some degree. But life is no joking matter. It is precious. Everybody’s life is precious. And none of us is exempt from mistake making. Even at this age I still make mistakes. But thank God…He is working on my behalf that I am not overtaken.
I pray that God steps into every bad situation …and situation where people need help…
Now, maybe I can get up from here and finally do what I really have to do. I have been up and working on blogs since 6 AM this morning. And it really hadn’t even been my intent. The day is slipping pass me… I have got to get moving.
Hope you have a beautiful rest of the day.
I have been searching for something that I really need to find. So, I have really have to put my all and all into it today.
Well, God bless…
Add a comment April 27, 2011