SADE’S DAUGHTER…. GAY AND OUT…

I would be the last person to criticize or make a mockery of anyone’s child, as I too am a mother of a gay child.   The irony of it all is that I too was once gay… or as I like to say, ‘I was in the life.’

So, coming to grips with my son being gay should have been an easy thing for me right?

Wrong.  

It worried me.   It plagued me.   And at times in the beginning shamed me.  I went through the whole gambit of emotions trying to deal with it mentally.   And truthfully speaking just did not want to accept it… and I still don’t but for other reasons I will get  to later in this blog.

But through it all my love of my son never tethered.  I have always loved him.  In fact, I will go as far to say, ‘That I even adore him.’   And I have always recognized that he was a far better person than his mother.

I recall while teaching several years ago there was a young male student that sought me out to talk to me about his relationship with his family.  His family was made up of Saved people who rejected him.   They made him feel bad about himself and about the lifestyle he had gravitated toward.   He felt trapped because he loved them… but could not deny his sexuality

He was a handsome boy… smart and I could tell that he was kind and loved his family deeply.  But their feelings towards him tormented him.  They were pushing him away… and out of their lives.  They didn’t want him in their house.  And I guess it is fair to say that the very sight of him made them sick.

What a shame.   They obviously did not know …or could not see the type of person they had really birthed into this world.  Because he was worth celebrating… and not rejecting.

While in the life I had encountered many gay guys with similar stories of rejection.  Many covered up their alternate lifestyles… or attempted to …or so they thought.  Because they did not want the rejection… someth

Many fell away from the church because the church laughed at them… made jokes about them and ‘limp wrist.’   The church turned its back on them and attempted to make them hate themselves.  In response to that many became drug abuser…

started drinking heavily… and many even attempted and did commit suicide.  And then there were those who broke down mentally and began having mental problems because of the rejection, and the feeling that they had let down their families.

I have seen many sad and lost gay men and women who suffered the pains of family rejection… church rejection and community rejection.  In those days there were not gay people all over the TV like today… or all these Hollywood stars walking around proclaiming their gayness as we see today.   Or all these anti-gay laws as we see today… or legislation of gay rights and gay marriages etc..

But back in the day there were just a lot of lost souls seeking to find themselves, who seemed to only find 1 place where they felt they really fitted… and that was in the gay lifestyle.  Being gay… and I was 1 of them.

Oh, yes…     I was 1 of them.   I’m free today …and of that yoked of bondage that had once had me bound… but many still are lost.  And because of all these new acceptances such as the changing of one’s sex… this whole thing has gotten more and more crazier.  And it has fooled a lot of them into believing by doing all these crazy things they will find happiness.

The devil is a liar… and the great deceiver.

I came out of the life when S&M started to become the big rage.   More and more gay people were slipping into the bondage thing… and I could just not wrap my head around that.  It was not for me.  I could not see me allowing anybody to tie me up or handcuff me… or otherwise rendering me helpless while they beat me and did whatever else they wanted to do to me.   I could not see the intrigue in that sexually or any other kind of way.

During my time in the life there had always been cross-dressers, drag queens,  transvestites etc.   But this thing of wanting to become and man if you are a woman ….or a women if you are a man may not be new.   But it certainly was not popular.  And that is what it is today… popular.   And it is very popular … as popular as people tattooing their bodies or piercing themselves all over the place.

But I did not begin this blog to really talk about any of what I just wrote.   I really wanted to write about Sade’s daughter.

When I was in the life… it was Sade I longed for.   She was so sexy to me.  I loved everything about her… including all her music.   I bought everything she put out.   But then lets face it… her music was good.   She was different and had a style all of her own… and I guess that attracted me more than anything else.

I will never forget that for 1 of my birthday’s a friend gave me a large framed picture of Sade, which I hung in my living room.  And I would often just stare at it.

Yeah,  I was crazy… in love.    Sade was fine… but so was my then girlfriend, Angela.   Where I would have chosen Sade… many would have chosen Angela hands down.   And yes, Angela was quite beautiful.  She was exotic in many ways.   She had a British accent, and was part Jamaican and Chinese.  And she was brilliant… and she was the person who withstood me for the longest… 10 years.  She liked telling that story.

When I spoke with her last she informed me that she too had found Christ Jesus, and was reading the Bible daily.  I was very happy to hear that as Angela had grown up Catholic and had very conflicting thoughts about God and religion.   But there was 1 thing she had said about me… she knew even then… that 1 day I would become woman of God.   I guess there was something about me… and it had to do with my training.  It was the fact that I grew up in the church… and that training kept me from crossing certain lines… such as drinking or doing drugs… or smoking etc.  Where many had been rejected I was not because I did not look a certain way.   I could pass… and no one except keen women who were also in the life could spot me.

But I did not cuss or live a riotous life… and I knew nothing about living badly, as my parents were real church people… loving and caring… and giving unto others church people.   So, they were my role models… and there was 1 thing about them.   They never ever spoke to me about being gay… and I never ever flaunted anything like that in front of them… though they never restricted me in being me.

So, Sade’s daughter is gay.   And by looking over the pictures of her and her daughter I can tell that Sade, who took time off from her career as a recording artist for a few years to give birth and begin raising her daughter… that Sade never once thought to reject her daughter.

Seeing pictures of Michael Jordan and his daughter, Jasmine…he too seems to be an accepting father of his child.   She is quite attractive… they both are Michael’s daughter and Sade’s daughter.  And Magic’s son, Erwin… after having lost over a hundred pounds is quite handsome himself.

Many people can’t deal with sexuality issues and their children.   Everybody at some point has had to battle through something.  Many adults … parents often forget the headaches they caused their parents… and the many sleepless night they took their parents through when it comes time to deal with their own children.

In life people are always in a state of transformation.   Their taste in food changes… clothes changes… thoughts on various subjects change… and they change… they mature… they gain wisdom… and if all goes right they discover who they really are.   This is why I am so anti-sex changes… because I understand clearly the changes that people go through from their early stages to their latter stages… and no one is ever the same or thinks the same way.

I sometimes go back and look up old gay friends on Facebook and I can truly say… I am so thankful that I am no longer in the life.   They seem so old to me… so sad… and seem to not have grown.   We look different… them and me.   But then the hand of God is upon my life and has always been.

As Sade’s daughter travels through this life it will be interesting to see the changes and turns her life will too take… as well as Michael Jordan’s daughter and Magic’s son.   There is this old song that Donny Hathaway used to sing called ‘Everything Must Change.’    And it goes on to say ...’nothing remains the same.’    That is BUT ‘God.’

And the great thing about God… He loves us all… no matter what pit we happen to fall in.   And He is able to reach down and bring us all out.

I no longer fantasy over Sade.    Nor do I listen to her music.   I’m on a different path… and as my parents prayed for me… I too pray for my son that God does the same for him as He did for me.  And I pray for my friends and the many many many others who are lost.  It doesn’t matter what they may or may not be in… but if they are not walking in the steps which God has ordered then prayer is the most powerful tool we can use to help… with the hope that God too will favor them and call them out from among them.

God bless… I’ve got to get out of here now.   Somebody is probably going to write me saying I thought this blog was supposed to be about Sade’s daughter.   And to a degree it was…

Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016

Add a comment April 20, 2016

RAVEN SYMONE… GAY?????

I am sorry but I just can’t wrap my mind around it.  I may just go to my grave not believing this.

Now, all of this from an ex-lesbian myself… and a person who has a friend who is FOREVER telling me how I think everybody is gay.  Well, this story proves that to be wrong.  Because I just cannot believe that Raven Symone is actually gay.

Maybe she is just going through a phase.  All kids go through them…  even me.  And perhaps even you did too.

“A phase’… a time in our life when we tried different things then moved on.

Raven might well argue this point.  But time will tell.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/08/05/it-s-not-easy-for-black-celebrities-like-raven-symone-to-come-out.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/reliable-source/wp/2013/08/04/love-etc-raven-symone-quietly-comes-out/

Now, I am not saying that Raven doesn’t know her own mind.  But she lives in Hollywood.  Nothing is real in Hollywood.  Everything is make-believe.  And maybe this might be too.

Supposedly involved in love relationship… or sexual relationship… Raven is said to be  entangled with this woman… some ‘the next top model’ woman.

Now 27 Raven clearly at this point is supposed to be a grown woman.  Least ways that is the supposed experts say.   But I ask you-

At 27 were you really all that grown?

I wasn’t.  And that is for sure.

It was not until I was 25 that I actually branched out and started to become sexually involved.  I know… I know.  I was late.  But up until that point I was pretty much in Church with my parents.   Well… not quite.  I had stopped going to church though…  but had to move out first before I could.  But I had not yet hit the clubs or anything like it until a few months after I turned 25… a couple of years out of college.

This is when I started frequenting clubs… if you care to call it that.  Because I really didn’t frequent clubs… and I was never a bar person because I simply did not drink… and wasn’t going to try.  And I totally hated bars… and the kind of people who sat in them drinking most of their nights away.

In fact, when I did start going out it was to disco clubs… and yes they were gay… in New York… and Manhattan to be exact.  And I only liked clubs with all women… primarily black women.  So, that limited the places where I went.  These were places like ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’… ‘Shahara,’ which was kind of mixed but up-scale… etc.  I liked up-scale… but mostly went to ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’ because they had more black women.  In fact, they were all mostly black… mostly Afro-centric.

But as I have stated in my previous blog,s in which I have wrote on this subject on being gay… or lesbian… and/or  lesbianism.  Since I was in media… a professional radio announcer… I was undercover, as most people were in my time.  And during my time… when I was young being ‘out’ really wasn’t the ‘in-thing’ to do.

To tell you the truth ‘outing’ yourself… or coming out of the closet… really is a evolving thing.  Though many people are now coming ‘out’ the masses, I would say have not.  There are many who feel it would hurt their image… their businesses… their law practices… their family relationships… etc…etc..

So, as they call it today… I had to be on the down-low.  Which I guess Raven is claiming to have been.. until now.   Since she recently twitted that she is gay and can now get married… though she says she has not immediate plans to do so.

I never really hung out in town… rarely, and never became involved with anyone in my hometown. Which really was not by plan or design… it just ended up being that way.  Because when I could not get to New York… I partied in a nearby town that had tons of black women who were very attractive… upwardly mobile and were ‘in the life.’  I did that until something happened with the Warehouse… it closed down.   And then I discovered the wonders of New York City… and I do wonders.

I was 25 and the world was my playground.  At those early ages of your young adulthood… you really are just trying to find yourself.

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-raven-symone-gay-comes-out-twitter-lesbian-20130805,0,111959.story

But going back to Raven.  Having been removed from that life by some years now… and with no desire or intentions to ever go back into it…  I always become sadden when I hear … read or see young girls who have gravitated towards a gay lifestyle.  You see them everywhere today… and it is not hard to tell them either.  And some of them appear to be quite young.

I know many who will not agree with me on this… and some will even get mad.  But that is okay… get mad.  And I really do not care who does or does not agree with me.

But I have seen the loneliness… witnessed the heartbreaks… saw the tears…  and been there myself more than a few times.  I must say this also…

You cannot expect to be happy when you are living outside of the will of God.

There were, of course, numerous times I felt that I was quite happy while I was doing my thing ‘in the life’… that is what we called it then… besides saying ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I’m a lesbian.’  You would just say ‘I’m in the life.’

But way down deep I was not happy.  I do realize that now… but didn’t then.  And I am not saying that people cannot or are not lonely… unhappy… or do not shed tears in heterosexual life, or any other lifestyle.  But therein lies the problem.

When you live in a world that you define yourself by your sexual preference… then this means you are living to satisfy your sexual being.  In Church they call it being ‘carnal.’ 

I can clearly say that while I was in that life… sex had a hold of me.  And when I was loosed from the bondage of being gay… a lesbian… and released from desiring sex during great periods of my waking time…  I cannot tell you how happy I have come to be free of it all.

I now know real happiness… and have a freedom that I just cannot explain.  When I didn’t have a lover while I was in that life… man…  It was all I craved. That is because I was caught up in the sex.  Sex had a hold of me.  It controlled me.  Not in the way that I just did anything… or went to bed with just anybody.

No, I wasn’t like that.  I was never that kind of person.  But sex certainly controlled me.

Today, I do not live defining myself sexually.  There is no need.

Why would I want to?

My life is not defined sexually.  I am greater than being just a sexual being.  Sex no longer has its control over me.  I am free.  And I walk in liberty.

A very beautiful young lady, Raven is very much grown up… and definitely seems to have her head on in the right place, and clearly very much unlike most Hollywood types.  It is my hope that if Raven Symone really is gay… and I say ‘if’ because a lot of women… and young girls try it.  For some it is nu-vogue… the thing to do.  To walk around telling people that they have a ‘girl-friend.’   It is kind of a hip thing for them.

But if Raven is… I hope that it is merely just a stage in her life.  A stage that she will soon get over… and move on from it without too much pain.  And that she is fortunate enough to be discovered by a wonderful man… who will love her… become her husband, and the father to her children.

Well, I have said it.  Now, I guess I am going to hear from a lot of people who may disagree.  But that is okay… I love hearing from you all… whether we are in agreeance of not.

Well, God bless… I’m waiting on my son now who is suppose to be coming to pick me up.  So, let me just say quickly… I hope you have a beautiful rest of the week.

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2013

Add a comment August 7, 2013