Posts filed under: ‘family disputes‘
I must really be missing it… was asleep or somewhere. How is it that Jan Croach just died and I never heard anything about it until-
Until now when I happened to be on youtube looking something else up. And when I saw the title ‘Jan Croach Died,’ of a youtube video I thought it was somebody’s joke.
Not really sure if just someone was playing around… you know how they do on youtube. Then I decided to google it… and sure enough Jan Croach had really died just a few days ago, May 31, 2016, at 78 following a massive stroke.
Because I had not seen much of her on TBN lately… I just thought that Mat, or whatever the name of her son who now runs their TV networks… well, I had thought it was because Paul Croach, Jan’s husband who didn’t pass all that long ago himself… had left the TV networks to his son, and gave Jan her creation, The Holy Land Experience, down in Orlando, Florida.
I really can’t say that I really followed the Croach’s all that closely nor their channel, as they always seem to be doing those television money raising rallies… seeking donations most of the time. And at point I had read where Paul and Jan never spoke to each other EXCEPT when on television… and that they did not live together. Yet they portrayed themselves as a loving couple on their television broadcasts.
There seems to be such an irony is all of this seeing how Paul and Jan really felt about each other… that not so long after he died she would follow him to the grave. Now, it all goes to the boys, their 2 sons… and grand-kids… whom do not seem to be any more in harmony than Paul and Jan during the many years of their marriage.
I had also read some years ago that the Croach’s had been under investigation for mismanagement of those donation funds that they claimed to be using for the good of the furthering the word of God. One of their grand daughters claimed that Paul had been going out and using the company charge card to pay for lavish dinners in exclusive places, and while charging fine and very expensive alcoholic drinks to their church network tabs too.
To say the least Jan with her Barbie make-over was far from being anyone I would have put my trust in as being a really godly person. There is no doubt that she had a real obsession with becoming Barbie, that Matel children’s doll. Jan apparently had no problem with destroying the temple that God had given her, to get breast implants, pink hair and all kinds of other plastic surgery done to her face and body. I would say that maybe that could be a bit ‘carnal,’ wouldn’t you?
And to waste all that money doing it… when it could have gone to some kind of good in the world instead of a plastic surgeon.
I mean… who in their right mind really wants to look like Barbie?
Don’t answer that… because I think that was the look Lil’ Kim was also going for before she just plain decided to become some kind of white girl. How truly sad compared to what she used to look like. Talk about self-hate.
And the amazing part about that was that Jan could not see it just how foolish she looked.
When the devil has your mind… he ‘really’ has your mind. And he definitely evidently ‘really’ had Jan’s mind in order for her to believe she looked like anything other than a fool with all that pink hair setting on top of her head.
I am not trying to be hurl or vicious. Heaven forbid. Afterall, the woman is dead… and only died just a few days ago. But what about having messed up face and head with that hair made her feel glorious is a wonder to me.
Jan’s father was a pastor under the Assemblies of God, a denomination which grew out of the Church of God in Christ. And there was not much that the Croach’s did not learn while under the tutelage and mentor ship of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, who had their own theme park too, and had been well vested in daily television broadcasting… which the Croach’s took to another level… even down to Tammy Faye’s make-up.
Kind of ironic how Jan and Paul really got their start and was introduced to the production of television broadcasting through working for Jim and Tammy… and that Tammy Faye had to go and seek Jan and Paul out once the floor fell out from under the Jim Bakker ministries, with Jim ending up having to serve prison time from mismanaging church donations sent his ministry.
I doubt very much that we will see TBN fold and go under… or be sold off as that family is making far too much money from that network… no matter what inner turmoils their families or relationships may have to cast it all to the wind.
To God be the glory… and bless you, hope all is going well for you as we go into this weekend. The weather here is very nice… no cold weather in a few days now. So, maybe… just maybe we are finally transitioning into summer…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016
Add a comment June 18, 2016
Wow, I don’t even know what happened here. I lost my whole post all most.
I will try to rewrite it again but don’t know if it will be as good as the first. But here goes.
I came across this posting on a site called, MOTHER’S PEARLS. And since the day I initially posted my blog on the DeBarge family and their deep family secret which tormented them for years, that post hands down has been my most popular.
That being so I thought that many of you would also like to read what was said by Tommy DeBarge, who for years as growing up had been molested by his older brother, Bobby.
It cannot be a secret how much pain must go through 1 when they are physically violated. But that pain and hurt must be much deeper when it does not come from the man or woman down the street… but is within your own home… among those who are suppose to love and care for you… and protect you.
The DeBarge children had … I guess all of them… had be sexually abused by their father… both the girls and boys.
The damage that is done to children who experience sexual abuse cannot be overstated. I know this first hand having also been a victim of it, though it was not within the confines of my family.
I know some women who once worked at a facility that housed children sexual offenders. Yes, I said, CHILDREN SEXUAL OFFENDERS. I asked 1 day what were the ages of the children in their facility and I was told, “Well, the youngest is 3.”
That has always stayed with. I cannot image what it is like to be locked away from people for the rest of your life because someone began sexually abusing as an infant or toddler and at the age of 3 they have to lock you away.
The world indeed is a very cruel place… very cruel. And has gotten crueler with all of this child sex trafficking and everything else like it that goes on today.
For that kind of torment to be going on in your own home is something which a very beautiful family of children have had to fight to regain and sustain some type of sanity from the horrors they had to endure not only at the hands of their own father… but as their own siblings began to prey upon them.
As a note here, Bobby the oldest of the DeBarge children died many years ago from AIDS. His predator… his father who had sexually abused … I guess all of his children… Their father died only several years ago… and am sure if he had a conscience he died a very tormented man.
This is from Mother’s Pearls: http://www.pearlswindow.com/2013/06/tommy-debarge-shares-molestation-by.html
Men were attracted to men and openly spoke their minds about it, which offended me because of my past with Bobby. I felt as if something queer had been permanently affixed to me because of the horrible things he did to me.
At this point, Bobby was dating women. There was a brief period of time when I actually thought Bobby might be straight. However, as he became more sure of himself as an artist and comfortable in his surroundings, the more he openly expressed his desire for men.
I watched as homosexuality manifested itself in Bobby’s life. He had a stronger attraction towards men than women. He had a male friend, Tony, whom he had met in California, and whom accompanied him everywhere.
After a while, Bobby removed all restraints from his sexual desires. He didn’t care if his private life was private or exposed. He was staying at a Hollywood Hotel; Tony moved in.
Later, Bobby revealed himself to be bisexual, meaning that he participated in sex with both men and women. He stated that a man’s love is what he was searching for because women were only useful for sexual pleasure and couldn’t be trusted. He used neglect and abuse from the past as an excuse for his lifestyle.
Add a comment March 8, 2016
What bothered me the most was that everyone seemingly is coming down on Bernice King, the youngest of Dr. Martin L. King, Jr.’s children, over this latest controversy in her family amongst her and her brothers.
Looking at the pictures it appears that Martin L. King, III has jumped ship. At one point it had been him and Bernice against Dexter King, their baby brother. Dexter and Martin 3 want to take out of the hands of Bernice their father’s traveling Bible, and what has to be any families most valued treasure if we could all get 1… Dr. King’s Nobel Peace Prize medal.
Who in their right mind would dare part with these 2 things?
There are just some things you simply cannot put a price tag on.
Perhaps, some down and out someone or other might think differently. Or just some plain greedy kids… out to liquidate everything they can get their grubby little hands on of their mother’s and father’s estate.
Is it not enough that the court ordered Bernice to surrender to Dexter personal cards and letters written to their mother by their father… items that Mrs. King had personal given to her youngest daughter?
Now, here comes Dexter again… and this time Martin 3 is with him. They are in the boat together to snatch out of their sister’s hands their father’s Bible (the Bible that President Barack Obama placed his hand upon when he took his oath for his 2nd term in the White House) and Dr. King’s Nobel Peace Prize.
How low can you go, Dexter and Martin 3?
Unless you have been there you will never understand how hard it is to stand when everyone around is grabbing for what they can get… and all you can think of ‘my parent’s are gone.’ Dealing with loss can be very difficult. And especially when the responsibility somehow falls upon you… be it a sense of duty or whatever… but you are the one who ends up trying to maintain what you see as what your parent’s desire would be.
And why should she?
We have all heard of down and out athletes and actors selling off their championship rings or Academy awards… when left with no other options. But this is something else. It is just pure and simple greed driving Dexter boy and his older and brother, Martin #3.
It is always very unfortunate when the value of your things winds up meaning more to your children than you… or what your desires would be… or the remembrance of you… or in this case have a higher cost than the King legacy and remembrance of their mother and father to some of them.
Bernice King has every right to try to hold onto the precious memories and legacy of both her mother and father, without having gifts which her mother gave to her… entrusted her with …being lost to a couple of greedy brothers who care nothing about the King legacy, or even how bad they are making their family and themselves looked by forcing the hand of their baby sister in this matter.
I heard an interview where Andrew Young, a man who I thought used to be a King family friend, commented on this matter by merely snickering at it and saying, “They sue too much.”
You know what Mr. Young?
When you have to take somebody to court ….or they want to take you to court. Baby, you better learn how to fight. Cause if you don’t learn how to swing back… then just crawl into a hole and pull some grass over you and die.
Thank goodness Bernice has not decided to die. When you honor your mother and father, and their memory… you don’t try to sell off precious things that belonged to them, because you cherish them. Those things were a part of them… and they should remain in the King family to get pass down. Many people today can’t even put their hands on old family pictures or 8mm films that may have been taken of them as children. Because somebody in their family grabbed them all up and years later discarded them… or they somehow got lost.
I long for a picture my mother had taken of me and my sister many years ago. We were just young children then. My sister took my parent’s picture and cut it up throwing away my half of that picture while keeping herself. Today not even that part exist. There had been other copies of that picture which my mother had sent to various relatives, but I have never been able to track not 1 down….or put my hands on them some 50 or more years later because they too were probably destroyed.
The problem in this story is one of greed. Dexter boy has been selling off everything… every piece of the King family estate he can since the passing of their mother… down to making the Federal government pay him for the use of his father’s image and likeness in the creation of his monument in Washington, D.C.. One would have thought that the honor and recognition given to his father in the creation of the Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. monument in D.C. would have filled him with joy. That he would have been eager for the King family to assist anyway it could. But no… not Dexter. He saw it as a money-making opportunity and milked the creation and erection of a monument to his father for every dime he could get out of it… including forcing them to pay for the use of any of Dr. King’s quotes.
Why anyone would want to throw stones at Bernice King for standing up to her brothers in their pursuit to sell off what has to be two of the most valued possessions of both their mother and father, Dr. King’s Bible and Nobel Peace Prize… is crazy. Clearly, those people do not know the whole story. But it has always been my experience to know that it is usually the good person… the person who is trying to do the right thing… the one who is innocent of trying to do wrong that gets blamed for starting the whole thing and is singled out as the culprit in the eyes of almost everyone looking in on matters like this. I have been there… and in many ways I still am. Trust me me I know.
So, yes… I side with Bernice King. I cheer you on Bernice King. Do not give up the fight. Fight the fight… it is well worth fighting. And I pray you God speed and victory in this matter. As there are some things you just do not sell off… like your birth right. And the right of any 3rd or 4th generation King’s etc. to not have to go to a library or museum to see an award presented to their grand-father or great great grand-father, because his kids sold off everything. Some things really are too sacred.
And I also pray for a changed mind and heart of both Dexter King and Martin #3.
In regards to Martin #3… I have no respect for him.
I recall going into court trying to fight for my father. I went in thinking that 2 of my other siblings were on my side. That is what they pretended… that is until we got before the Judge. When we got before the Judge they said nothing. They offered nothing not 1 agreement to anything to what I was saying. I was left out there all alone trying to fight for our father to be returned home, and they said nothing. I later came to realized that they never wanted daddy back home in the first place. The house was divided and everybody had grabbed what they wanted. My father’s house had been invaded and taken over… and daddy was forced out of his own property. A fact I never knew until some time after that court hearing.
It is amazing how quickly we can forget all the sacrifices and all the good times… and how much our parents poured into us. If Dr. King had not struggled… if he had not marched… if he not sacrificed his life… what would they have to fight over?
What would we all have to celebrate?
The car… the family house… everything that every family at the end is forced to fight over… I suspect they might have fought over that. Because there will always be at least 1 who sees a bigger picture than just self and… and thank God for that. They see more than what they can get out of the passing of supposed love ones. Always 1… and it appears that Bernice King is the 1. And yes… I stand with her.
On another note on the King family. Dexter has gotten married. This is really not new news. But I know it is not mentioned or talked about but if the truth be told… Dexter is really not the marrying kind. Everything for him is show. His wife is a supposed ex-lesbian. But I have known people who were gay who married with each 1 doing their own thing.
When I first encountered this it was a couple of the weirdest 2 people I had ever met. The guy was flamingly gay… and between them they did have a child. I really don’t know how she managed it?
But I figured out that they had been great friends and this is what laid the foundation for them agreeing to get together as husband and wife.
I also remember when once a lover of mine had been offered quite a considerable about of money from a man, who at the time was a boss of mine (he owned the radio station). His son was very very gay and the father wanted a grand child… an heir or something I guess. So, he proposed an offer to my girlfriend of this substantial amount of money to marry his 1 and only child, this gay son. And no she did not do it… as it was totally out of the question. But the point here is… is that there are some people who will do anything in order to have their gay children reform… get married… have children… even if it means they will not give them or leave them a dime unless they do. Then there are some people who get married for various other reasons… other than love. It’s called a ‘marriage or convenience.’
I must say though… that all this snow is beautiful.
If you are out there in the snow please remember safety rules. Drive with care and caution in the snow and ice. Apply brakes when riding on icy roadways lightly… come to a nice and easy stop by slowing up. Do not slam on your brakes… it will send your car sliding out of control.
Guess I’m moving a little bit too fast. I had all but forgotten about it being BLACK HISTORY MONTH. So, in celebration of Black History Month let me just quick tell you about a young lady in England. The youngest person to ever become a barrister (that is practicing lawyer in their terms). Her name is Gabrielle Turnquest. She is from the States, Florida to be exact… and she is just 18 years old. Amazing. To be young gifted and black… is definitely where it is at.
Happy BLACK HISTORY MONTH….
And let me not forget that this week Shirley Temple passed (Shirley Temple Black) at age 85. I cannot begin to tell you the countless Saturdays I spent watching Shirley Temple dance and sing her way down long stair steps… or try to cheer up a friend. She was more than just a favorite… Shirley was my friend.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
Add a comment February 15, 2014
When I posted the article about this on my Facebook page I had not really read the article…just glanced over it. But later ..that last night while chatting with my son, I decided to tell him about the story.
So, I went to my Facebook page and began reading how Deitrick Haddon had posted on his own Facebook page, that his ex-wife…something that I at the time had not known about either. That Damita was Deitrick’s ex-wife.
When did THAT happen?
Well, Deitrick posted on Facebook that Damita, his ex-wife… supposedly with another gospel singer, Isaac Carree to be exact… were adulters. Meaning they were sexually involved… and outside of marriage.
Deitrick in that post was saying that his wife had cheated on him with Carree… or was cheating on him with Carree. And I guess that was supposed to clear him of his mis-dealings outside of his marriage with Damita.
But for me… it back fired.
Being that they are ex’s… both of them now by way of divorce, Deitrick and Damita. Since Deitrick is (1) now married to someone, (2) whom he cheated on Demita with… and (3) impregnated. Well, needless to say, it all sounded wacko to me.
What was Deitrick saying?
And saying it now… seeing that they are already well passed divorced. And the other woman had bared his baby… to who he…. Deitrick had finally married that woman.
So, why now, Deitrick?
It just does not make any sense.
Bad apples I suspect. But who was to blame, Deitrick?
And bad apples for what?
Is Deitrick trying to say that the reason he stepped outside his marriage to Damita was because all the while she had been the 1 cheating on him?
To tell you the truth, the whole thing was rather shocking to me. Because they, Deitrick and Damita had always appeared to be a happy couple to me. They are all smiles of that WORD Network promo they do. They worked together it appeared nicely. They created gospel music together… performed concerts together… he put her in his film. And I just assumed that they really had it going on… as happy as could be.
But evidently, that was not the case.
And that was only because, to me, it seemed that Deitrick loved his music career so much. I couldn’t see him giving it up. And pastoring a church does require a great level of devotion.
So, I wondered at first whether Deitrick was going to leave the record business?
So, I really wondered about the ministry of his dad’s church, that Deitrick had taken over following the passing of his father… where once upon a time he had been his father’s Minister of Music.
I must say that I have long-held the view that everybody’s son is not meant to take over their father’s church. Okay… get mad… but I think most people would agree with me on this… even if you might not. You need only to go back into the scripture to search this fact out for yourself. For instance you have the examples of the Priest, Elli’s 2 sons… and then there was Samuel’s son. And if you keep reading you can and will find others… sons who were born into the priesthood but were less than worthy. And simply put they were not qualified to minister because of certain basic character flaws.
Flaws like… they just did not want to follow the Lord. Or what the Lord said.
Yet, for the most part this is what happens in many of our churches… dad dies and the son steps in. And sometimes the son had left the church long ago. And a lot times, sadly, it has been to the detriment of the church under which they came back and took over.
So, when I read in the article that Deitrick had left the ministry of his father’s church… I raised a slight eyebrow. But it was no major shock to me. But what did shock me was to read that Deitrick, 36, had fathered a child out-of-wedlock with a 24-year-old woman. And that his wife, Damita, had divorced him.
Now, that was a bit of a surprise to me because just as I already said… they seemed to be a great couple. Mind you I was not shocked that Damita divorced Deitrick behind that baby incident… but I was shocked that Deitrick had done such a thing to her. And now want to come out and out her… by calling her ‘an adulter?’
Come on, Deitrick… man up.
Since Haddon… Deitrick is now divorced… I guessed he decided he wanted to try and clean this mess up… and kindda make himself look good. Or not so much like he was the bad guy in all of this. Like it wasn’t just him.
So, that must have been the reason behind Deitrick’s ‘adulterer’ post regarding Damita and Carree.
Now recently married to the young lady whom he had fathered a child, which may have played a part in Deitrick’s decision to leave the pastoring of his father’s church alone.
Why should Deitrick now be trying to smudgy up Damita’s name?
That is what I call deceit upon deceit.
So, is this a case of the adulterer calling an adulterer an adulterer?
Or is this a case of just some really very bad apples?
I leave that up for you to decipher.
How do you go outside your marriage… father a child with another woman… and want to call your wife the adulterer?
All I can say… is what is done in the dark (deep sigh)… certainly comes to light…
I got a couple of comments concerning my blog on the Bishop being in the bathtub with a young girl child. in which they say …or should I say… which he says… it was his 4-year-old grand-daughter.
But does it really matter who’s little 4-year-old it was?
Come on, gimme a break.
But here is the 1 thing that I wanted to add to that story which comes from scripture… and it has since come to me. We are told in the scripture to forsake ‘even the illusion of sin.’ That means that we as saints cannot even do anything that can even be perceived as being sinful or wrong by anyone. There is a reason that the Bible tells us this… as I think Bishop Larry Trotter can now attest to.
Well, that is all I had to say… Just wanted to pop in for a few moments… and now I am popping out.
UPDATE on the Bishop Trotter story… Monday, February 28, 2012: In looking at that picture once again of Bishop Trotter and the little girl, said to have been his grand-daughter, in the bathtub with him. I have an observation as a mother… that child in that tub is not 4-years-old.
I know the size and what a 4-year-old children looks like. That child in that picture is about 2 or 3 years old at the maximum. Because a 4 or 5-year-old child is much bigger than little girl pictured in this picture in the bathtub with the Bishop.
ON SOCIAL MEDIA: When it comes to social media I really think that people should not indulge in it without first considering what information they are putting out there. I really think about Deitrick and that Damita story.
Why would Deitrick want to post on his Facebook page anything negative about his ex-wife, when he just finished marrying the woman… or at least 1 of the women whom he had been messing around with.
My son told me that the same thing had happened with J. Moss (only I do not think his wife left him)… and Tye Tribbett (and I don’t think his wife left him either). But my son said that Tye wife paid Tye back by going outside their marriage with some friend of his.
Last year the Williams Sisters, Serena and Venus along with their mom visited Nigeria in November… meeting with fans and sharing words of encouragement. Wow… no wonder I like them. That Williams family is really something… and they have not forgotten us… or who they are.
Now, turning to tennis because everybody has been hitting my blog to read about Serena and Venus it seems lately. So, let me get on it right now… because as you know they are in the Land Down Under, the Australian Open.
Jan 22, Completed
Jan 21, Completed
Jan 18, Completed
G. Muguruza Blanco
Jan 16, Completed
Well, to put it simply they are having their own share of troubles. In one of the very rare instances they the sisters lost their Doubles game, 3-6, 7-6 (1), 7-5… and that put them out of the running for this year’s Women’s Double award there.
Who beats them in Doubles????
Well, it hasn’t all gotten bad… but sad to say since the single games didn’t do them any better either. Venus lost to Sharapova 6-1, 6-3… and a hamstring is bothering Serena… least that is what a fiend of mind told me. So, time will tell…
I am sure by now that you know that Venus for the past couple of years has been dealing with an autoimmune disorder called Sjogren syndrome… which causes tiredness. But she hasn’t let that stop her though. You can read more on that by clicking the LINK below.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2013
2 comments January 25, 2013
So, here goes…
- When I was very young I kept having this re-occurring dream. It was always the exact same dream every night… and I always awoke at the exact spot in the dream. The dream scared me. So, one night I prayed to God to take the dream away from me. And He did…that very night…and I have never ever dreamed that dream again.
But I did not ever forget that dream.
In that dream I was always being chased…or so it seemed to me then…by these people with wings…like birds… who flew just above me… but somewhat slightly back just about over my head… 3 of them…
I always thought as a child…that they were chasing me. I never knew that God had dispatched them to watch over me.
And so I have…all my life…been watched over. Even though I prayed that prayer…and He stopped the dream…but He kept up the watch over me.
God’s favor….and I didn’t even know it until one of my brother’s told me… concerning something else in my life. And when he said, “Oooh, Bernadine, God favors you.” I really nearly fainted… that thang scared me nearly to death.
God favored me????
That was such a frightening thought.
All these million upon millions of people???
I’m still scared by the thought of it…but I know it’s true.
I do not know… But He does…He loves me…
- A while back last year I was at Newark Airport…and I was curious how many of the guys helping people with their luggage were there that day when they flew Whitney’s body in from LA?
I wanted to know if a lot people had gathered that day here at the airport?
That day Whitney flew into Newark Airport as she had never flown in before. She may have had a limousine… but she left that airport as she had never left it before.
We come all come into this world one way…and leave it in another. But as we existed before in another form… so shall be then exit here to be in yet another form. But whether we have victory or end up in defeat…life everlasting in peace and joy… depends entirely upon what we do while we are in this form…
- It has come to my attention just now that a lot of people come to me seeking my advice on a variety of subjects…and I counsel.
- Sometimes the matters are personal…other times they are legal…or affairs of the heart…or family issues…but whatever the subject or the matter I try to give good counsel…and sound counsel. And an ounce of wisdom…not really having a lot myself. But an ounce of good wisdom and rightly judgment is worth more than 2 barrels filled with foolishness…
- It is almost my son’s birthday. 32 years ago tomorrow I gave birth to a little bouncing baby boy…who had looked like he had been in a fight with Muhammad Ali. But he was mine… So, I loved him anyway. And when I first held him in my arms and looked down upon…I knew I couldn’t afford him.
So, by the time spring semester classes rolled around I started resuming my formal education.
One day while out walking with my son…he then was about 4 years old…he looked up and pointed at a man and said, ‘Ooh, look, mommie… there’s my daddy.’
Women do not demonize your children’s fathers. It does not matter whether ‘THEY’ do the right thing or not. It is absolutely wrong…and men you should not try to turn your children against their mother either. It’s wrong.
After son graduated I sent him away to school. The school did not have dorms and the small southern town it was in had no cabs or buses. So, I had to get him an apartment…a car…open him up a bank account…buy him a cell (which is also the time I got one just so he could stay in connect with me and me with him)…and paid monthly installments on his schooling.
I also hopped the bus from New York headed south to check all his monthly receipts…to make sure he was paying all his bills as he should with the money I would deposit into his bank account. And while there I always went grocery shopping…buying him enough groceries for the month…though he always had money to buy whatever he wanted…and could call me if he needed more.
Some time thereafter after settling my son in he contacted his father, he told me…and asked him for some money. My son told me that his father turned him down…and told him he should leave school and go back home until he could afford it. Needless to say I was furious at hearing this story. THAT…that man had told MY son to throw away everything I had invested in my son to get him to school and set him up properly so that he could do it…and he who had done nothing told him ‘go back home.’
When my son called and told me this story I was livid…but I did not speak badly against my son’s father…but I do have a few choice words for him if ever I should see him.
But I told my son ‘no’ that he was not coming home and he was going to stay in that school until he graduated…and he was not going to waste the money ‘I invested’ in getting him a car…a cell phone…an apartment…and paying tuition to that school. And that settled that.
Some time recently my son told me that his father had contacted him requesting a loan. Over a period of some years my son has connected with some of his father’s other children…sending gifts and things to his young nephews and nieces. Also, over the years…really in a short period of time after his graduation…my son has become very very successful in his chosen field. And I guess his father had heard.
So, when my son told me about the request for a loan I asked what he told him. And he said ‘I told him no.’
And I asked nothing further…but made note in my mind that was yet another conversation I was going to have to take up with my son’s father.
Fathers…AND mothers be good to your children. And they will be good to you…if you treat them right…train them right…and always seek to do good for them and by them…and DO give them a firm foundation in the Lord…and the things of the Lord. And they shall be blessed…and you shall be blessed of them…and shall reap well the rewards of a good harvest
This big head boy is well on his way to probably becoming a millionaire before he hits 40. That is why I put him down there in that school to sit among millionaires…not their kids but ‘them.’. So, that he would know them…and so that they would know him…
And oh, yes… I decided this year to let you really see me too. So, occasionally I will pop up… you just keep on reading my blogs and see… And this is me… But from time to time I look different…depending on a lot of different factors… You just keep looking out for me… : )
Well, the weather has been great. Spent the night in the hospital with 1 of my sisters the other night. All is well…and God is soooo good. Cannot thank Him ever enough.
Hope you enjoy the rest of this week. And I hope that all is well with you and your family too.
God bless…hoped you enjoyed it. I just thought I would share a little with you…
Add a comment January 11, 2013
Because she could. And because that is what the law tells them.
You know the law?
The law that prohibits parents from chastising their children. A law which many times clearly has made parents victims due to unruly children. Because if the child doesn’t like what the parent has done …or says… all they have to do is drop a dime… or in other words… pick up the phone and call the police on their mother or father… or both of them.
The information when this story broke was that Creflo and his daughter had been in a dispute… which arose upon his daughter asking him… her father… if she could go to a party.
I have heard of many children who wanted to go against their parents … then decide that they would settle the matter simply by picking up the phone and calling the police on their parents.
So, of course… I thought this was just 1 of those stories. Where a 15-year-old spoiled child decided that she did not like that her father told her ‘no’ she could not go to the party. So, she therefore picked up the telephone of him… or popped open her cell …and called the police lying on her father… telling them that he had choked her.
That is what I believed and that is how I thought that it had happened.
So, I never felt that Pastor Creflo Dollar had really done anything wrong.
But it was not until I heard his recounting of the incident before his congregation… and after listening to his daughter’s 911 phone call… that I must say that I am not entirely sure that maybe the daughter did lie.
Here is her 911 call:
Now here is Creflo’s account of that situation:
Since I know neither of the 2 parties it is hard to determine what and what is true. But it was Creflo’s own words and how he just seemed to literally throw his daughter up under the bus regarding the whole incident while speaking to his church, in his accounting of what his daughter said had happened, that stuck me as… hmmm. He virtually called her a liar and continued to pounce upon her. And that is what I felt was odd.
I do not believe a loving father… or any parent angry or not get before people and begins to pounce upon their children making their child appear bad or evil.
As a parent I have at times found myself angry at my son… and didn’t like something that he said to me . But there are ways that parents handle these type of things privately. Though at times I have had to admonish my son that he needed to tread lightly a couple of times while in public… as since he has reached his 30’s he has at times needed to be reminded ‘that I am still the parent.’
While speaking Creflo took the opportunity to turn his message on its heels making himself the victim.
There is no doubt that this present system of taking the control out of the hands of parents to properly chastise their children… has made many parents almost helpless when it comes to their interactions with their own children.
It is clearly stated in the Biblical text that parents should not spare the rod. Without following the instruction of God our children will become unruly… untrained… disorderly… and lack moral standards. But with proper training… love… and guidance our children will make us glad. It is Biblical text…
I knew a young mother… she had at lease 4 children and I doubt that she was older than 24 or 25. One day in passing she informed me that she was having problems with her youngest child in school. And she told me that they wanted to medicate him… I counselled her against that.
The little boy was bad… and very busy. But I told to not let anyone give any of her children anything that would alter their mind… because it would rob her children of their lives. And she told me how her oldest boy had call 911 on her… and how afraid she now was of trying to disciple any of her children in the least.
I was shock as her oldest child, who was at the time was just about maybe 9 or 10… was a very likeable and handsome boy. He often stopped by my yard to speak with me as he passed by. I found him very pleasurable… and never would have thought that he would have imagined to do such a thing. But he had… the that incident scared his poor mother enough into not doing anything for any 1 of them, for fear of 1 of them ever picking up the phone on her again… and her children being taken away.
It is clear that the law against parents chastising their children binds the hands of good parents… people who love their children and only want to see that they do well.
No one enjoys little children who have no training at all. They are like little animals… and as they grow up to they become even worst.
I was once investigated. My son and I laugh about it today… but when it happened that thang scared me to death because all I could see was that ‘they’ were going to remove my son from our house. That would have destroyed me… I doubt that I would have stayed around to let such a thing happen to my child.
But the investigation was dropped when it was discerned that it had no merit.
My investigation stemmed from my son not doing academically well in school. So, the school suggested that I allow them to test him to see why. I was young and foolish then… don’t let the school do any type of psycho-analyzing of your children. Because they sit in rooms asking your children about everything but what they told you they were going to do. And that is what brought about my dilemma… my son had not called anyone on me… but the school began questioning him about me… whether I whipped him or not etc…etc… etc…
Needless to say I have since learned. I am not the smartest but that situation taught me something… and I learned it shortly after I gave my permission for that school to tell me why my son’s grade were not so good.
How innocent was that?
That nearly had my son removed from our home… and placed into foster care. There is something wrong with this system… and it truly works against parents… good parents.
I did not stop chastising my son… but I did tell him that if he ever told anyone that I whopped him that I would kill him. And that is what we laugh over today. He tells me that I was always threatening to kill him…
“Boy, I’m going to kill you!”
It was kindda the way folks spoke back then. Most parents said it… but none really meant it.
However, the world has changed today… different kind of parents. And that is truly sad… and what has brought about this problem.
Just in case I don’t write anything else for a while let me just include this.
Serena Williams took Wimbledon winning the Women’s Single… then turning right around and grabbing the Women’s Doubles title with her sister, Venus.
Venus was turned away in having lost early in the Women’s Single matches… largely due to her illness which renders her to be tired. But the illness did not stop her when it came to the Women’s Doubles finals match, where both little sis and big sis walked away with the big one together.
I am very happy for them both. I love their family. Just love seeing the love… appreciation and unity they all have… and through the situations and turmoil they still WIN!
Together Serena and Venus have won 13 Grand Slam Doubles titles together… and with Serena’s Wimbledon Single’s win a couple of weeks ago… the have between them 10 Wimbledon Single wins… with each of them having amassed 5 a piece.
Now, how good is that????
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Add a comment July 23, 2012
I have been so busy lately trying to stay warm…that I really haven’t thought about much of anything else. But checking through my stats for this blog I did notice that a lot of folk had come on my site looking for information on the Kings.
So, thinking that maybe something new had come up with their legal battles…Bernice and Martin the 3rd against Dexter…I decided to go up onto the internet to find out if there was something new. And to my surprise…I saw nothing new about their court battles…but that the stories were about the baby girl. Dr. Martin L. King, Jr’s youngest child was now going to head up the organization which her father had not only headed in the 60’s, but was also one of its founding members… the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.
It has not been easy…and my guess is Bernice would say that would be an understatement. What with watching their mother battle illness… then her passing… and then just about on the heels of their mother passing…Yolanda died too… her only sister and the oldest sibling. And on top of all of that… Dexter started acting up and getting crazy. Which forced her and Martin the 3rd to have to go into the courts against him…and thereby thus bring private family matters came out into the open… opening them… a very private family… up to public scrutiny and commentary. That had to be hard decision to make.
No, it could have been easy. But yet she kept on going…and doing. And I have no doubt praying.
It is amazing.
She was just a very young child when her father was so brutally shot down and killed during the summer of 1968. The summer that saw so many riots around the United States upon the announcement of his death. A man who had stood for non-voilence and peaceful resistance…he had been murdered.
Bernice was all of 5 years old only when it happened. Hardly able to clearly understand… much less comprehend truly what it all meant…or how even her father’s dying was destined to change a world…and this country for ever. But I’m sure she heard her mother crying many a night over it.
Now, today she is stepping into her father’s shoes. At age 37 Rev. Bernice A. King, who holds both a Divinity degree and a dregree in law has become the first woman to ever hold the top post at SCLC. What a great way to honor the memory of Dr. King as we all celebrate his birthday this coming Monday.
Though there has been much controversy among the remaining members of Dr. King’s immediate family… his children… Martin the 3rd, Dexter and Bernice… this I am sure would make him smile. They both would be.
Poised…confident… well spoken… and a member of the New Birth Ministry under Bishop Eddie Long… as well as having been a law clerk under Judge Hatchett… and of course having been under the mentorship and leadership of her own mother, Mrs. Coretta Scott King… I see a new era in black leadership rising in this country. It has been long over due…a new guard is on the horizon. And it feels like a breath of fresh air.
It gives me great pleasure to write this on the King family… or a member of it. And I look forward to writing many more.
I had seen some of the headlines…but had just not taken the time to read anything on it…mostly because it just kept slipping my mind. I would get busy reading or doing something else...and then…well, you know… I would forget… that is until my son called me and began speaking to me about it. He told me that an estimated 500,000 people had been killed. For such a small island that has to be nearly a quarter of Haiti’s population.
Many many stories of are pouring out of Haiti of untold thousands upon thousands still being trapped. The Richter Scale hit 7.0 with a series of after shocks measuring at 5.9… with the International Red Cross saying that perhaps over 3 million people have been affected by the massive earthquake.
We can all remember still…I am sure… that massive mounting wave that rose up out in midst of the Indian Ocean back in 2004…which hit 11 different countries with so much force that everything near the shorelines for 25 or so miles inland was wiped out into the sea… including families, businesses, homes, belongings etc… perhaps leaving many of them feeling the affects probably still, while additionally trying to recover from it mentally and physically after having lived through such a terrifying and destructive thing.
I guess before it has all been said and done…we are bound to have much more devastation to come in our lifetime…and beyond if there is a beyond. The forces of nature are reaping havoc upon us in ways we are incapable of fighting. And Kartrina was just another example of it.
Or you can look at this way.
Prophesy coming to pass.
There is no dispute that within the text of the Bible all these things… including wars have been prohesied long before we got to this point , some more than 2,000 years ago. When I think of both Haiti and New Orleans…I think of 2 places steeped in the culture of witch craft and voodoo. When I think of those 11 countries hit by the Tsunami…I think of child sex trades and exploitation.
It is not a secret that many people get on airplanes flying out from this country to foreign shores, to indugle in many things illegal here in America…such as having sex with children. Though such laws have not stopped a lot of people from doing so… such as…Roman Polanski. A man who should have been locked away years ago…when he confessed to having sex with a 13 year old girl. Film director or not…the man should have been locked away. And the same for Woody Allen.
I once watched a film produced by some independant filmmakers. The most beautifully shot film visually that I had seen in a while. I was very impressed by it…visually. The lighing…the colors…just everything about it. But…
It was a movie about young children…very young children…super young children…some younger than 4 who were put into the sex for hire business. Children standing in shop windows waiting on someone to walk by and pick them out…like they were buying a suit or a pair of shoes. And shop window after shop window with little children standing in them…bunches of them…as if they were live little manakins on display.
It is hard to believe that such places assist…much less that they can so freely exploit their children in such a way. With families making decisions to give out their own children for a few dollars claiming that the hardships in their countries left them no other choice.
It is not hard to believe that God would destroy such places.
Most of these countries trafficing children… or where such practices are openly allowed… are 3rd World Countries… such as Africa… Indonesia (which less than 2 years ago was hit by its own major and highly devasting earthquake)… China etc.
Even in terms of Haiti…besides the witch craft and practices of voodoo…it is routine to see one tele-evangelist after another showing pictures of children while pleading for financial support from viewers… and not only while in Haiti but other countries as well. When I look at those pictures of those little children I feel sorry for them. Because I know that many times these children are not only being used as a means to pull upon people’s sympathy. And I have no doubt that once those camera lights go off and their little pictures are taken… most of children fall prey to sexual abuse by the the very ones who claim they are their to help them.
It is sad all the way around. It is sad…very.
We… I have no doubt that we cannot begin to imagine the vastness of the devastation which has hit Haiti.. .nor its awful after affects now and for years to come. Not to mention the danger that many Haiti’s people have fallen into by criminals and others who seek the exploit this time and Haiti political problems.
Many American artists…and partically all Haitians living in this country still have roots in Haiti…by way of love for their country and family members still there…such as Lauryn Hill, Wyclef Jean and others. It is very likely that within the whole of Haiti there is not one family whose lives have not been touched by this earthquake…whose strong and very high magnitude shook that small French speaking island just off the coast of Florida this past Tuesday…with such force that it almost virtuely destroyed Haiti’s capital city, Port-au-Prince.
Those who can please let us all remember them is our prays…and send support to Haiti.
The images and stories flowing out of Haiti since the earthquake are saddening. Limited medical supplies and those who can care for them coupled with criminal elements…make it even harder upon those who somehow managed to survive…barely escaping with just the shirts upon their backs. Little children left orphaned… amputations…shortage of water…and no place to lay for the night or out of the blistering sun during the day. Missing persons…destroyed property…everything gone. Encompassed by the smell of death…while listening to the wailing crys…screams and moans of emotional and physical suffering all aound…while wiping at your own tears at the very same time. How hard it must be to go through such devastation.
If you would like to donate CLICK this LINK…http://cogic.net/cogiccms/default/
The bathroom is not going to hold out…but my stomach will have to. Because as much as I hate to say it…I desparately need to shed some pounds. My hair is falling out. My nails are getting too long. I think my teeth might be a touch too yellow. My toes are freezing. And…oh, I am a disaster. I truely am.
Will this weather ever break?
My son tells me on Friday…we are scheduled to get into the 50’s. Do you think it might be a bit too soon for me to begin singing ‘Happy days are here again...?’
Do you think?
Perhaps since you have been reading these blogs…you have often thought about what it would be like to talk to me personally. Judging by reading some of the responses to my Juanita Bynum blog…and perhaps my blog on Chastity Bono…some of you may just be dying to get at me. Well, soon and very soon…you may just get that chance. Because yes…your girl will soon be coming to you live, baby. Bet you’ve been waiting for that.
Well, have a beautiful day. I hope you got a whole lot of warmth wherever you are. And please let us pray for all these people who are going through hard times right now. There are so many people suffering from all type devastating thing…earthquakes…loosing homes…loosing their jobs…speaking of which. I spent most of day today observing an on-line class on how to make ice cream. I actually have had the idea rolling around in my head for a couple of years now. But somehow I fell upon this internet site…and the next thing I know they were emailing me about a ‘free training session.’
Did somebody say ‘free?’
Today could not come fast enough. Though I over slept and missed the first hour and half. I managed to learn enough in the remainer of the session to more than make up for it…and to let me know that my consideration of the idea was not a bad one…not at all. I tell you this… in this time of unsurety you really have to be looking at your future options too. Look into the future…. and see where you would like to be. And what you will need to do to get you there.
Now, start working towards that.
I am a believer that everybody should consider going into business for themself. Or perhaps you have aspirations of being a writer. Go for it. Do it…but you can’t if you don’t start somewhere. And I am one of those people who strongly believes that you can’t wait to start something…or hold back talking about ‘waiting on until you get the money to do it.’
You will be waiting forever.
Sometimes as the door closes in your face…because you have lost your job…or can’t find one…or had some other set back… then it just might be because it is time for you to become your own boss… run your own company… do something that you really like to do.
Think outside of the box… and don’t despair… there is something special waiting just around the corner for you. And it is that success you have always been looking for… had hoped would come… that real career that you have been putting off.
Just do it. And I would love hearing about it.
I’ll give you more information about when, how and where you can link up to me regarding to my blogradiotalk broadcasts… on both your ipod and by listening in to me right here over the internet. You know… try as best I can… I just cannot seem to get out of radio…and stay out of it. Oh…well..
And I almost forgot 1 other very important thing about my up and coming blogtalkradio program… You’ll able hear it right here too… right on this blog page…as I plan to add a link to the program. However, if you listen via your ipod or directly over the net to the live broadcast…you will be able to call in and talk with me over the air. It should be interesting. I look forward to chatting with you soon. And yes…there will be guest…perhaps you would like to be one. Send me a note via my comment box.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
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4 comments January 14, 2010
Just finished reading that between them Venus and Sererna have amassed over $50 million in tournament earnings. Wow…that really should motivate some people to get up and go out and learn how to play tennis…big time. However, as strong as they may be on the court the endorsement dollars still have not totally represented who they are and their standing in the tennis world.
Considering the fact that there are other players who have yet to see the type of wins and tournament money that Venus or Serena have managed to win…yet they have not been able to match their court success with bigger endorsement dollars…unlike some of their white counterparts.
For example Maria Sharapova reportedly has earned about $30 million in endorsements while having won only a mere $10+ million in tennis tournament money.
It seems to me that something is terribly wrong with that picture. Considering the fact that Serena Williams most recently became the highest grossing female athlete of all times. Based upon this fact alone the ad agencies and major companies should be running to her to sell or aid in branding their companies and/or products. But this is far from the case.
Perhaps, Venus and Serena aren’t complaining about it. Maybe through the years they have come to grips with the way the world is…and how it operates. But it is a shame that with all their skills and finesse upon the tennis courts…the mega ad deals and corporate sponsorships have not come their way. Clearly they have earned the right to reap the full benefits of their labor…not just the tournament wins…but lots more of that other money too.
In her joyous victory over Serena in the Women’s Final, Saturday, Victoria Azarenka of Belarus jumped for joy…she managed to do what many wish to do. She beat Serena. 6-1, 6-1.
Wow…what a lost.
This past weekend Serena and Venus had another finals show-down. Playing down in Florida in the Sony Erricsson tournament, They played hard…and in the end Serena won over Venus, 6-4, 3-6, 6-3…in the Women’s Semi-Finals.
It is amazing how they can compete against one another and not let it interfere with their love, appreciation and respect for one another. It is just amazing…truly in their own rights they are not only great sports women but also fantastic role models for how siblings should feel about and treat one another.
Oftentimes, when one isn’t playing…the other is up in the stands cheering on and rallying support for her sister…which ever one it may be whether she is awaiting her turn to play…or out of the tournament because she lost. As well as, their mother, Oracene, and other family members…including their father…who by this time has probably married his young girlfriend (that is in another blog along with a picture or 2). As he had planned their wedding for the end of March or sometime during the first of April.
Of which…being that the young woman isn’t much older than them…or somewhere near Venus’ age…and for other obvious reasons the girls…Venus and Serena were not quite tickled pink at the announcement that their father was heading to the altar with the young woman whom he has been seeing for some time now. And it seems that she loves to shop…which means…spending their money.
Mighty Michelle…that is the name that the folks abroad have dubbed
her. She was indeed stunning…with beauty and brains to match it is hard to beat First Lady Michelle Obama. And with his hand in hers…and hers in his they looked liked 2 teenagers in love over in Europe.
The Queen too was smitten by the Obama aura…something which seems to have swept the world. France’s President Nicolas Sarkozy loves him…and calls Obama friend.
Who would have thought that a man who many had debated whether he would be able to answer the call if a call came in the wee hours in morn concerning some type of U.S. calamity. They questioned his…what they called ‘his lack of experience.’ They questioned his ability to be able to handle foreign affairs…and how he would be able to handle himself around other world leaders.
Well, Obama put all those fears to rest this past week during his first visit to Europe for the G-20 Summit. For a guy who many scoffed at…and grinned over what they called ‘his lack of credentials.’ Told him that ‘he was wet behind the ears.’ I don’t know…but maybe that community organizing stuff that people laughed about paid off this past week…when Obama managed to mediate between a riff that developed between France and China during the summit…when both men became angry at one another and were nearly about to fight.
Obama not only managed to calm them both down but also got them talking and they came to some type of an agreement.
You know what?
There are benefits to learning how to work with people in the community that can really pay off when you come together with world leaders…and it is called knowing how to break up a fight…how to negoiate…and things like that. You can’t learn that sitting in some office shoving papers all day and playing like politics is all there is.
Imagine…at his first time on the world stage as President of the United States, President Obama brokered a peace agreement between 2 nations…that were well on their way to disrupting the entire G-20 Summit by having a fist fight. That’s pretty good. Better than good…for a man who many questioned whether or not he was qualified.
At the location where I am currently working to launch my website…there is this guy name Josh, who coincidently shares my birth date…he was telling me the most interesting story about his little niece, who happens to be the apple of his eye. He says that every time she sees Obama on the television she begins pointing at the television screen saying gleefully-
She is only about 2 years old…and can’t pronounce ‘Obama.’
Well, that will clearly change as she grows up. She will learn in history that one of them started the war and that other one put an end to it. As I am sure that the history books will be filled with information on the controversy that the Iraqi War brought not only to this country but around the world.
After 8 days of trying to re-new the spirit and trust of foreign leaders in this country…Obama paid a surprise visit to Iraq. There is something about going somewhere in order to get the full impact of the real situation. I found that out for myself following my mother’s passing.
I had relied upon others…my siblings…as we spoke on the phone or during my weekly visits home…which would always be on one of my days off from my job…but I depended upon others to be my source for what was happening at home…in the house with my father once my mother had passed. I never would have believed that the sources of my information were anything but truthful. It was not until I was forced to go home to stay amid my father being what literally amounted to kidnapped…by another sibling (who was more interested in his money than him)…that I found out the truth…and nothing but the truth…as it started to be revealed to me slowly over time.
Had I never been forced to return home…I would still be living in oblivion and listening to lies about what was really going on at home.
Going and seeing for himself…was something that yes…President Obama had to do. And judging by the pictures…the troops were happy to see him…greet him…and take pictures of him. All of which was something I never saw in any of the media stuff when Bush went to Iraq.
The job that those young people and others have been forced to do was huge and the outcome was never one that was going to be good. For one thing though no one says it…it was an act of aggression on the part of the George Bush Administration to initiate a strike against a country that posed no possible immediate threat or otherwise to us. Thus, there was and is no way that what started off as being bad in the first place could possibly be turned around…as nobody who lost their life…or a limb…or mental or physical state of being…or other problems or complications due to that war…there is never any way that they…or their families…or their love ones will ever be the same. Nor this country…but perhaps somebody thought this when we dropped that bomb on Hiroshima …and then on Nagasaki.
When President Harry Truman, in August of 1945, made the decision to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki following the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Like Bush…Truman had committed political suicide by believing war and killing people is the real show of power. Truman’s fear of communism…the Red Threat…and whatever else that was running through his head at the time…including like Bush…he too had a plunging voter approval rating.
It is interesting how past Presidents used war like some type of commodity to use at will…as a means of vamping up their voter approval. War to them has long been held as a means of engendering country loyalty and solidarity. And they used war also as a means of creating jobs…and all with little care for the lives these wars would exact in return.
The unleashing of the single most dangerous weapon known to all of mankind…the atomic bomb by Truman was the most atrocious thing that any country could do to any group of people. And from that time to this…this country has sought to wide the memory of it from history.
To view just DOUBLE CLICK the LINK BELOW…ignore the text.
It is my hope that such weapons are totally removed from society…as the technology is entirely too dangerous…to even be used as an energy source. And as it renders those countries which have it trying to monitor and prohibit others from obtaining it…which speaks to the fact that the world would be a far better place without nuclear weapons.
But I applaud President Obama for being strong willed about bringing to an end a war that never should have been started in the first place.
I really do not know how long the Somali pirates believe that they can continue to interfere with the waterways by pirating ships?
At some point somebody…some country will not take it. And frankly, I do not believe that Obama is somebody to be played with. I know that there might be those of you who have a different opinion of him…but I can tell that he is nice and easy-going as long as you do not cross him. It was in the way he looked into the camera and kind of smiled one morning…though you knew he really wasn’t smiling…and then he said-
“Leave my wife and my children alone.”
You do remember that…that is when the Republican party during the campaigning period decided to go after Michelle Obama. Once Obama stared into that camera and said what he had to say…that campaign launched against Michelle Obama came to an abrupt halt. An immediate halt. I couldn’t blame them…you could tell that Obama meant business. And that is why I say-
“Obama is not a man to be played with.”
Yes, he can kid and joke with the best of them. But for anybody who believes there is not another side to him…look out. Everybody has another side…even me. And as kind as I am (lol)…I have scared my share of people…and still do…when I have taken all that I was or am going to take.
It would be very foolish of the people of Somali to believe that the events that happened when that Black Hawk aircraft was shot down in their country years ago under Carter…will ever be allowed to be repeated again…with them dragging the bodies of Americans through their streets.
No…I don’t think so. America is not going to take that twice.
First Lady Obama, Michelle’s mother, Marian Robinson, is gracing the pages of Essence magazine. Didn’t like the make-up job though…or maybe it was the photoshop touch-up…but she is still beautiful. And Michelle looks just as beautiful sitting beside her mother.
I have said it before…and I am going to say it again.
“What a family.”
It is great to see the type of black families I have known all my life finally hit mainstream media in a continuous manner.
I think that the above story is sad. The Shriners Hospitals are really just too valuable to allow them to close…even one of their facilities much less 5 of them. There must be someone who is capable of aiding them. The number of children who need special medical care is growing…and the Shriners Hospitals because they are made to service children their medical facilities are happier and brighter places for children who have to be hospitalized due to a variety illnesses and accidents…burn victims etc… And can provide them with long care treatment right in their hospitals.
I have a younger cousin who fell out of a 3 story window years ago. She had to spend a very long time in the Shriners Hospital here. The injury impacted her growth andshe had other medical problems which were brought about due to that fall. It caused her to have to stay there for quite a while. That hospital provided for her a happy atmosphere with a great team of care providers who really know how to deal with every need of children from fear…to tears.
There have often been times when I wished I had money…so I could give it away. This is one of those times. I would give it to them.
If you would like to make a donation or contribution…you can do so via their website… http://www.shrinershq.org/
Or by contacting: Shriners International Headquarters
2900 Rocky Point Dr. Tampa, FL 33607
Well, today is so beautiful…that I shouldn’t even tell you about it. But just keep it to myself…and not share it with anyone…as if I could bottle it up and store it somewhere.
Was in New York yesterday. Bought some things for Easter. I decided that I wanted something new and springy. So, I settled on something yellow and can’t wait to get my hair done and put on my new earrings and new wears.
I am looking forward to Easter…not because I want to show off some new clothes…but because I am just so thankful that God loved us enough to endow us with a special gift…his son. And that his son in turn loved us so much…that he laid down his life that we might live…might walk in liberty and free from the yokes and bondage of all the things we once allowed to hold us hostage. And if you did not understand that…you should get yourself a Bible and begin to search it out for yourself. It is something that I am still doing…and have no doubt that I will be doing for the rest of my life. Continuing to read and search it out for myself.
And to all of those of you abroad serving this country with pride and dignity…I wish you well. And with God’s speed hopefully you will soon be home.
Well, it is just about Easter…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends…
“pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment April 10, 2009
I awoke to more than a foot of snow outside this morning. And it is still coming down steady. But I wanted to get a head start on the shoveling…so, I got up and out in it while it was still light and fluffy. It is much easier to shovel that way.
It has tailored off a bit now…but still coming down…and has been doing so all day. But I am still loving it. I feel blessed just to be able to get out in it and shovel it.
I just got off the phone with a cousin…in the Virginia Beach area. And she said that most of the neighboring towns around her closed down everything due to the snow down there.
While I was visiting with one of my sisters this morning after shoveling…whom I stopped by to visit upon my deciding to treat myself to a large cup of hot tea and cranberry muffin at Dunkin Donuts. Well, after all that shoveling…don’t you think that I owed myself something?
But I never made it to getting my cup of tea or my muffin. I did, however, end up having breakfast at one of my sister’s house…while there I saw a news segment on TV showing how the snow had hit as far south as Alabama straight up the East Coast.
Boy, those Williams girls are busy raking in the money.
This weekend Venus picked up another hefty check…this one in Acapulco for $37,000. Not bad for chasing down a bunch of little yellow balls. And they get to travel to some great places…like Acapulco, Melbourne, London etc…etc…all expenses paid. That is what I call living.
Kind of makes you wish that your dad had gotten you up early and taken you out to some local court as a little 9 or 10 year old child…and just started throwing balls at you.
Since that story on actor Morgan Freeman first broke shortly after he ran into a ditch or hit that tree down there in Mississippi…Freeman is beginning to truly understand that old time saying-
Well, as you may remember in my first blog on the story…Freeman’s wife, Myrna, didn’t waste any time hitting him with the divorce papers…like the very next morning. And in doing so she put herself in line to reap a hefty portion of his loot…somewhere near $100 million if not more. But as of Wednesday of last week…old Freeman was hit again.
Truthfully speaking…he would do better just running around in a dark alley carrying a couple of money bags with large dollar signs on them. I doubt that robbers in a dark alley would be as bad or hard on him.
But here is the kicker…the woman in the car. Yes, she was as I stated in the other blog …his white mistress…and ex-friend of his wife. Well, she rallied up her own lawyers and now she is after old Freeman too. She claims to have been a victim…injured party in the automobile wreck which left poor Freeman in the hospital with a busted up knee and other injuries as they had to be rescued from the damaged vehicle via the Jaws of Life…you know that heavy equipment used to prey open a car in order to get the occupants out of it.
The woman claims that Freeman was drinking excessively…one drink after another. And that he was highly intoxicated went he had gotten behind the wheel.
Seeing him take one drink after another…and knowing his condition when Freeman got into the car to drive them to whether they were headed…motel or alleyway, I don’t know….but I guess she had her pick. You really have to wonder why she got into the car with him knowing the state he was in…or at the very least…
Why she hadn’t offered to drive the car herself?
Perhaps, she too was drunk.
However, with all the drama currently in his life…there is little wonder why Morgan Freeman hasn’t been looking much like himself lately. The good part…his vehicle was insured. But if Demarius Meyer…who suffered head injury during the accident…which could mean memory loss, soft tissue damage, whip flash, neck and back injury etc…etc..well, if she gets her way…poor ol’ Morgan will have to pony up plenty more money. And this being taken into consideration…she could reach way pass whatever his insurance policy allows and put her hands directly into his pockets with regards to her claims of injury.
The thing about accidents…the injuries are not worth the money. And I don’t care what the amount is that someone may get in compensation. It is not worth it. Better to have not been involved in the accident in the first place…far better. But if you get injured…there is no option but to file a claim for injury…somebody has to pay for the medical bills that follow.
Once while going home from New York…I was traveling via an interstate bus…and the bus driver fell asleep at the wheel. There were about 6 of us on the bus…as prior to the driver falling asleep our original bus had had a mechanical problem so we had to wait on another bus to leave Port Authority. But the other bus did not have enough room for all of us. So, myself along with the driver and a few other passengers had to wait for the company to dispatch another bus for us.
It is funny…just laying here with my son’s laptop and typing this story now…I remember something I had forgotten. While waiting on that 2nd bus to come and pick us all up. My mind kept saying to me …I should go home. As you read this blog you will come to understand…that I really should have walked across and caught a city bus to the subway and done just that…gone home. And yes…I really should have gone back to my apartment that day. Just like my mind kept telling me…and it kept saying it over and over to me. Now, let me continue on with this story…
I always try to sit on the first seat across from the driver. So, that is where I was sitting…and because I had gotten up early to catch the first bus out of the terminal going my way that morning…I had awaken before 4 AM that morning. So, by the time I got on the bus…I was very tired.
So, when the bus driver fell asleep at the wheel…I was fast asleep. When I awaken I was on the opposite side of the bus. As my eyes came open I thought I was coming up out of my sleep…but I had really been knocked out…and was then knocked back conscious. I had been bounced from one side of the bus to the other…and it was my injuries that eventually over time told me and my doctors the story.
Therefore, by the time I was awaken…when I hit the other side of the bus…I had really been knocked back into a conscious. When I opened my eyes the bus was shooting off sparks as it scraped against the middle divider separating the on-coming traffic of I-95. I had no idea as to what had happened…even the fact that I was on the opposite side of bus had not registered in my mind at that time.
The bus driver eventually pulled off the concrete girder and continued to drive as if nothing had happened. A number of cars pulled along side of the bus blowing their horns and pointing to the side of the bus. The driver finally pulled to the side the highway and stopped the bus. I think that he was in shock himself…and maybe very much in denial.
I never knew what happened…but the driver started talking about how he had been up late…how he lived with an 85 year old woman etc…all kinds of crazy stuff. I felt sorry for him because I knew it would mean his job.
When the driver stopped we all got off the bus. At the time, I felt just a slight pain to my right arm…but I knew that we were all blessed to be able to walk off of that bus. I decided right then and there that I was not going to pursue a law suit against the bus company…because I was just happy that we had not been killed.
We waited along the side of the highway for yet another bus to come and claim us…which did sometime later. But no state trooper ever came to the scene…and none of us were ever checked out for injuries. We were put onto the other bus and continued on our journey as if nothing had ever happened. By the time I finally reached my destination…I never knew anything was wrong with me.
Later that night I was back in New York…and when I tried to called friends…I could not remember any of the phone numbers. I didn’t think anything of it…I just thought that it was nothing. You know one of those times when you try to think of something and can’t. But when I showered and went to lay down…and I was overcome by dizziness.
I had been involved in enough accidents to know that this was a sign that something was wrong with me. I thought that I could be bleeding internally…or something. I knew I had to get out and get immediately to the hospital. Luckily, the hospital was right around the corner from me. But by the time I started walking to the hospital…I was now fighting with an equilibrium problem. I was starting to loose my balance…and things were becoming blurry.
I willed myself into that hospital. By the time I got there as they began to ask me questions like what was my social security number…my birth date…etc…etc. I could not remember any of the answers…though as a rule this was information I could rattle off without much consideration. But I could not that night. This is when they rushed to admit me into the hospital emergency room…they also informed me that I had suffered memory lost from a level 3 concussion. At that time none of that meant anything to me…but that was the beginning of many more medical bills to come including surgery…and as I have already stated in a prior blog…I never say yes to surgery unless I feel I cannot do without it.
They kept me in the hospital the whole night not releasing me until after 9 AM the following morning. They had run every possible test upon me. Because when I had arrived at the hospital…they took my blood pressure and told me that I had been a walking candidate for a heart attack. All of this had been due to an accident…which I had already told myself-
“I am not going to pursue this.”
Because I thought that the only injury I had suffered was just a slight pain to my right arm…which was the very thing I had to later get operated on. Later I found out from a friend of mine who drove for Greyhound that the driver of our bus, from another bus company, was suppose to have waited until a state trooper had showed up at the scene of the accident…and that none of us should have been allowed to leave the scene of that accident until a medical team had come and checked us all out.
That accident could have killed me…because I had no clue what had happened to me during it or the amount of trauma it had truly caused to my body. I had been a walking candidate for a heart attack because of it…due to my blood pressure becoming so elevated. And I do not suffer from anything like that or anything else.
I now tell everyone that I don’t care whether they feel anything or not-
“If you become involved in an accident…go to the hospital immediately and get yourself checked out.”
If I had not had enough sense to get out of my apartment immediately and go to the hospital following being overcome by dizziness later that night…I might have fallen asleep…become incapacitated…and died that night…but by the grace of God.
Once I had walked into that hospital, however, the medical bills started. There was no option at that point but for me to have to pursue a legal claim against that bus company.
So, I have no doubt that that woman with Morgan Freeman during his automobile accident probably did get injured…considering the fact in particular that they had to be extracted from their vehicle by the Jaws of Life.
Once she had to start pursuing medical attention…she had a right to file a claim against him. Somebody has to pay for the medical bills…and it should be the party at blame.
I really do not have much sympathy for men who cheat on their wives…or women who cheat on their husbands. Oftentimes, the problems that emerge from the out of order relationship…are ones with great consequences as Freeman is now finding out. It just was not worth destroying his 30 year relationship with his wife. Not to mention all the money involved in their divorce and now the injury claims against him. And he also has charges of DUI which he also has to answer for.
In order to replenish the large sums of funds flying out of his pockets…Morgan Freeman would have to work for the rest of his life. And still may not earn it all back.
Yeah…when it rains it pours.
“Wouldn’t you say so, Morgan?”
And I guess that old Johnny Taylor hit, Cheaper To Keep Her…really is true. Yet ,another lesson for Morgan Freeman to ponder upon. Because his wife is definitely no joke…something which after 30 years of being married to her… he should have already known. She is taking him to the bank…and beyond. The other woman will just have to stand in line.
Speaking of accidents…once many years ago while riding on the local street bus…I saw a woman run across the street. She ran directly into the path of the bus and was hit by the bus. She fell down then got right up and leap onto the bus as if nothing had happened. The driver asked her if she was alright and he was prepared to take her information…and tried to make sure she was okay. But the woman said she was okay and continued to the back of the bus and took a seat. I think she might have been embarrassed…or in shock from being hit.
But I knew that the woman had made a foolish mistake…and I think the other people on the bus felt so too as there was a buzz about it.
She had just been hit by a very large bus. Getting hit by any moving vehicle may cause you injury…and highly serious injuries no matter what the speed of the vehicle was. Even if you do not feel anything at the moment does not mean that later on you won’t. You might not feel anything for a year or years…and then it comes upon you. But if you failed to put it on record…or failed to get yourself checked out medically… Well, if you do this…you will not have any type of legal recourse regarding your injuries and/or your medical bills in the future…near future or far future.
When I was injured on my job…I was never going to write it up. I was the person on that job who had the responsibility to file all the claims if a customer or employee suffered an injury in our building. But if it had not been for some customers who having seen me slip and fall…had not they continued to say you better write it up. I would not have done it. I was embarrassed…and didn’t feel much pain. I just felt a bit shaken up…and thought the little bit of pain I felt would pass in a couple of days. And it did…or so I thought. I never realized that I had began to become less and less able to do certain things.
I had slipped and fell in March…and it was not until August that I decided to go get it checked out. It didn’t hurt me…I just felt a slight bit of pressure to my right side. When I stepped into that doctor’s office…I have never worked again. I had been seriously hurt. And had not known it.
I went in to work day after day…and never realized anything regarding my developing limited physical capacities. So, when I stepped upon that bus where the driver fell asleep…I was already injured. That accident compounded my injuries…and I became worst.
Every accident can have serious consequences for you. Get yourself checked out…if it turns out that you end up having no type of problems from the accident…then great. But if so…you need to cover yourself.
Had I not finally decided to put in the paperwork concerning my own slip and fall…by the time I finally went to see a doctor several months later…I would have never have had any type of help concerning my injuries…or any type of legal recourse. I would have had to suffer from my own foolish behavior of being lazy…too lazy to put in the paperwork…too lazy to want to sit around in an emergency room all day or night..or .however long it took.
Following the accident where the bus driver fell asleep…and my decision to just let it go…had it not been for the dizziness that came upon later that night…which I would have just forgot about that accident. But what would have happened to me if I had been one of those people believing I could take an aspirin…and aspirin away my problem?
The problem was I had injuries…many injuries and serious injuries of which I had no knowledge of until later…and even to this day I am still realizing things caused to my physical being due to that accident.
Be wise…take the time to get yourself checked out. Do not be too lazy to go to the emergency ward following an accident. Many accident injuries do not show up until years later…but you cannot wait until they start to show up to put in the report. If you do…forget about your claim for compensation for injuries and medical bills. It vanished when you fail to put in the report at the time of the accident.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment March 3, 2009
Sometimes I just become so overjoyed that I can’t keep it to myself. And this is one of those times. I am suppose to be working on launching my website…which should be up this week. But I just couldn’t not before writing this blog…to tell you just how good God is to me.
I know that many many many people are currently facing foreclosure and until I started taking care of my parent’s property it really never mattered much to me. But following the passing of my father the 2 mortgage companies which had mortgages against our property put us into foreclosure. But not being on the mortgages the companies refused to tell me anything…and I was the only out of my 7 other siblings who felt our parent’s property was worth fighting for and eventually paying off.
But because my name is not on the loans for the mortgage (which of course it would not be…since the house belonged to my parents and it was their loan). So, the mortgage companies legally did not have to give me any information regarding my parent’s account…and for the most part that is what they did. They refused to share any information on their account with me…even though they knew that my parents were now both deceased. And the kind of information I wanted was a copy of the payment history of the entire loan and all other information concerning it…the whole history of mortgages.
Finally, CitiMortgage, one of the mortgage companies…the one with the highest balance and most difficult company to deal with…they sent me a copy of my parent’s mortgage. After going over the documents it showed that supposedly that mortgage had been refinanced in 1999. But my father by that time had been diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s. Besides his left hand shook badly…which meant that his signature would have been severely affected when he wrote. But that copy of the supposed mortgage refinanced by him showed no signs of a wobbly hand. And even if it had my father’s mental capacity being what it supposedly was at the time…he was not legally competent to enter into any such contractual agreement.
So, I filed papers disputing the foreclosure by CitiMortgage against my parent’s property based upon it being a false document…and as being such CitiMortgage’s foreclosure was being based upon a fraudulent document which would nullify that contract and halt their foreclosure based on the amount outstanding due to that document.
Well, after I don’t know how many months…and after receiving information from CitiFinancial that they were in possession of my parent’s property. I went back to court. Because CitiMortgage/CitiFinancial had failed to answer my complaint against them. So, I entered a default against them. Today, I received my notification that my default had been granted.
I cannot tell you how overjoyed I am. Through the grace and mercy of God…I had won. This decision totally knocks out a mortgage which added over a hundred thousand additional dollars onto my parent’s prior loan.
I knew in my heart that my father would have never placed an additional $100,000 of debt upon our property. That money was supposedly against a loan of nearly $30,000 at an interest rate of over $60,000 making CitiMortgage a mighty big winner in that contract. My father would have never done…and particularly since he had already had more money than the alleged near $30,000 the loan approved for…as he had more than that already in at least one of his several bank accounts. So, I went into court Pro-se as a heir to the estate of my father…and went to fight. But God fought that battle for me. And I cannot thank Him enough.
I wrote this blog because I know that many people are going through much of the same. It is very difficult trying to go to bed night after night…and not know whether or not tomorrow you will be deposed and kicked out into the streets…because some bank or mortgage company took over your home.
One of the biggest frauds going…happens when people in mortgage companies find out that there is a dispute among family members following the death of someone of whom they hold a loan against their property. This opens the door for all kinds of things to happen if the people or a person within the mortgage company is a distrustful crook…that might shock some. But it is very true…and not just with mortgage companies but lawyers also…anyone sitting in a position they see where they can take advantage of.
Anybody sitting in a position who can take advantage of such a situation many times does. Because they seize upon the family members lack of communication with one another and their inner turmoils and conflicts to keep the family members too busy at each other’s throat…and it allows the cheats the freedom to do whatever they will. It is for this reason that I asked to see the complete history of my parent’s mortgage from the initial mortgage on. For which I never got because they refused to release to me. Nor did any notices of court dates come to house regarding the foreclosure hearings.
By not getting those notices…the notices regarding the foreclosure hearings…I could not appear in court to defend my parent’s property. And since none of my other siblings cared…they didn’t go either. This meant that that by default the mortgage company won their foreclosure because nobody showed up on our side of the table…or who represented us in court.
I tell people all the time…the worst thing you can do in a court case…is not show up. By failing to show up the other side automatically wins. Give yourself a fighting chance. Show up and tell the judge your side of the story…you may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. It could make a difference.
If you have been reading these blogs then you also know that I had entered a case in the Appellate Court.
Perhaps you are familiar with this…and are guilty of the same. Though I must say as a rule I am not a procrastinator…but for a couple of weeks I had been walking around with the letter from the Appellate Court unopened. I get tons of mail…and there are some pieces that I put off opening simply because I don’t want to think about it…and I am afraid of what it might be informing me of. This was the case regarding my default notification from the court and this letter from the Appellate Court…both of which I finally decided I couldn’t put it off any longer. So, I opened them up this morning.
It turned out I had been dreading good news from both courts. The notice I got from the Appellate Court was to inform me that I would not have argue orally our case before the judges. Though I had requested to do so…I really didn’t want to do it. But from where I stand nobody can better present my case than me…and particularly since when my son had gotten a lawyer…the lawyer told him to settle for $1,800. Our car had been totaled, my son suffered back injury (which still plagues him today)…and on top of that the repairs that the insurer of the other vehicle (the one that caused the accident) authorized were not sufficient considering the amount damage sustained to our vehicle.
So, I filed the papers myself…when you do this it is called “Pro-Se.” But it was not because of any of the reasons I have already listed that drove me to file suit. No, I filed because they had returned to my son a faulty automobile which could have killed him…and they didn’t care. The car shook…the bumper would fall off while he was driving…and at the time of the accident my son was away at college in a town which had no public transportation…not even cab service…which is why I had to buy him a car in the first place.
So, I filed suit in conjunction with my son against Allstate Insurance. And today I heard from the Appellate Court…because if you recall, also in a prior blog, I explained how my son had really won the case…but how the whole thing had been a set-up and ended up in front of a judge who was friendly with the other side. Don’t act shock to hear this…it happens everyday…watch LAW & ORDER. It is regular practice for lawyers to call the clerk’s office to find out which judge is in what court and when. And try to schedule their hearing before judges who are very lenient or favorable to them.
Had we lost our case in court fairly…I would have accepted that decision. But I could not knowing that we had not been unjustly treated and all our evidence and testimonies had been overlooked. So, I filed a Notice of Appeal…and to the Appeals Court we were a going.
One of the most involved documents I have ever had to put together was the legal brief that was required of the Appeals Courts. It was over 100 pages in length and required many hours of research in a local law library and several days of typing…but I did it. By the time our case finally got heard…following all the hearings for the various pre-hearing court dates for…Motions to be entered…and Mediation…etc..and all our travelling back and forth…many times when we barely had the money to go and come back. But we did it any ways by faith…over 900 miles each time.
Now, the notice from the Appeals Court today informed me that we would not have to present our case orally before the Appellate Court. I had covered everything so completely in that brief…and in great detail…including the court transcript to back up my statements. I am so happy that we do not have to go down and stand before them. Standing before several judges dressed in black robes…would have been a bit un-nerving for me. But if I had to…I would have done it. I had prepared myself to do it. Because from the on-set…I had not filed the papers to lose our court case. And I always knew it was just a matter of how much…because we had all the documentations, receipts, invoices, pictures etc. to prove our case. Many times in court just having truth on yourself is not enough…you must have hard evidence…and we had both truth and hard evidence. Then they next thing is to be capable of delivering that evidence before in a logical and as near legal manner as you can master.
I tell you this…because I do believe that if more people sued for wrongs and injustices…maybe some of us others would not have to. We live in an area where they want to make you feel guilty for having to sue. But believe me…many times a law suit is necessary to resolve many matters. The problem is most lawyers won’t take any cases that they believe they won’t make any money on…or that may tie them up for too long. This leaves those who can’t go into court for themselves with no choice but to drop the matter. And even I have had to decide whether or not something was a battle to fight or not.
I have not sued everybody…though my son and most of friends believe I have. But I have not. Some of them I have left for God to deal with. He can do things to them that I cannot.
This reminds me of a time when I was in grade school. While in the cafeteria one day just as I was about to sit down…this girl took her foot and snatched the stool from up under me. I fell flat…and everybody laughed at me.
I was so mad that I began praying to God to do something to the girl. And a couple of years later I realized he had. The girl is very unattractive…and I have always thought God did that to her because of me. Truly, I have. From that point on I have never prayed to God to take care of anybody else for me. I thought His punishment to her was a bit too harsh.
So, for the cases I decided not to pursue…I have just left it up to His discretion if He wants to do something about it or not. The Bible says…He rights every wrong.
But I will keep you posted on the Appellate Court decision.
The reason behind this blog is to encourage those of you who are facing foreclosure…or any other problem…legal or otherwise. Do not give up. Go back through your paperwork…there may be something in it which can turn your situation around. You may find a loop hole…lawyers use them all the time. But if they can so can you.
Always remember that God has the final word in all situations. And that He is faithful.
My parent’s property is still in foreclosure but now all the money paid on the property from the date of that refinance date that I disputed to present will have to be reverted to the old mortgage…and with interest.
The Bible is true…God is always working it out for our good. I am just so happy.
God is good. And I am so happy that he is a friend of mind.
As I have said in my other Black History Month posts…the reason I have not given you any information on the people that I list is so that you will be motivated to research who they are. This will prove to far more helpful to you…and to your ability to remember their accomplishments.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
1 comment February 24, 2009
I was shocked when I read this story in Vibe magazine. I would have never realized the things that they were going through…and had gone through as they were all growing up. It is a shame some of the things that many children are forced to endure. There is little wonder why some have such anger and rage years later. On the surface who would have thought what hidden darkness they had locked within. Family secrets can be some of the worst kind of secrets.
They were one of the hottest family groups along with the Jackson’s to emerge from Motown. It is funny how success usually is often rooted in so much pain, sorrow and personal sadness.
A large family of 8 boys and 2 girls… Bunny, El, Randy, Mark and James made up the DeBarges, the Motown singing group, who left home from Detroit by way of Grand Rapids, Michigan to LA in search of success… but they were haunted by many sad memories that perhaps they had been trying to escape…but found that they couldn’t.
Two other members of the family made up part of the group called Switch which was also hot during the early 80’s, Bobby and Tommy.
Tortured by the deep dark secrets they all shared and carried into their success in the 80’s, they were colored by a past that ultimately claimed most of their lives. Their lives have been left shattered…and though the church could not and did not help shield them from the events that were taking place in their home as very young children…but over time some have found healing and renewing in God.
You can read the full story below. It is sad…and painful to read.
When I think of the times that a friend and I used to rush home to catch them being showcased on TV shows, and how we used to laugh at them. Though we loved their music and them…it always struck us, me and one of my friends, that the boys…were well rather ‘sweet.’ And I am shamefully sorrowful of that now.
We should not poke fun or laugh at others. And I will not blame it upon my youth nor on the lack of proper home training.
I never laughed at people with disabilities but I have seen people who have…and I have seen them do it openly as I was growing up. These people, of course, were not in our family…because my parents were not that kind of people. Plus they would not have ever allowed it of us. Nor did they indulge in gossiping or talking or laughing about anyone. Yes, they would occasionally chuckle about things. But they were never mean spirited or degrading people, nor did they find fault with people or talk or laughed about anyone.
I laughed at those boys, fine as they were but yet so effeminate…I found humor in that.
Should we laugh at such things and pick fun at people?
No. We should not.
And I regret having ever done it…which is why I am writing this blog.
I have never liked preachers doing such things as finding humor at the expense of gay people. It seems that within the church everything else is sacred accept poking fun and making jokes about gay people. They do not do that with any other sin…prostitution, lying, stealing, murdering…none of these things find their way into a Sunday morning sermon or any other time…as a joke.
Then why should they find it okay to make jokes about gays, lesbians or homosexuals?
And really the church is loaded with… Well, it is loaded with some of everything. And a lot of times from the top to the bottom…somebody is doing something which they should not be doing or acting out in ways which are not Godly.
And I am not trying to come down on the church or incite a war of words. But the church is full of everything. It was true in Jesus’ time and it is still very true today. The church is even full of predators. Not so long ago at least 10 Priests in the upper North East, the Massachusetts…Boston area were found quilty of such acts…leaving in their wake hundreds of very shattered and broken lives.
In Connecticut a preacher impregnated a 12 year girl that he had been routinely been engaging in sexual intercourse with. Since she was 12 when she had the baby…she had to be 11 or maybe 10 if not younger when he first got started.
This was the plight of the DeBarge children.
Without a doubt there should be some level of sensitivity with regards to making jokes that are belittling and unkind to anyone at any time. And particularly any jokes about all those lost in sin… any sin. The church is suppose to loving and giving in spirit. Yet, it is sanctuary for all types of activity as well.
Once well sitting in the choir as a young teen…I was seated beside this boy. His father was preaching less than…I don’t know…less that 4 or 5 feet away. And this boy produced from under his choir robe his…….. and tried to pulled my hand across to touch it. I at the time did not quite understand anything about erections or anything else. But that was what he had…and his father was preaching right there beside us as his son did this one Sunday morning…in front of the whole church. It is hard for me to believe that no one sitting in the church that Sunday saw our exchange as we were seated on the front row of the choir facing outward…must less seeing what he had in his hand.
Nor, will I ever forget the night I dropped this woman home following church service that night…and this was not so very long ago. As I pulled in front of her building and she was about to get out of my car she suddenly turned to me and kissed me in a way no woman had ever kissed me before. And having come out of lesbianism…that should
speak volumes as to how and the way this woman kissed me. But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t respond. She got out and I drove home determined to not even think about what that woman had just done. And I didn’t.
I didn’t think about it…for a couple of reasons. For one thing because I didn’t want to dwell on that kiss. For another reason I just did not want to obsess about it. I felt it was a trap…orchestrated by the devil to try to lure me back into a life I had now left behind. And I was not going to fall for it. So, I shoved that kiss and that woman aside in my mind…and never bothered to linger there thinking about it…now or then.
But the church is full of a lot of things…like whoremongers, adulterers , liars etc. None of which I see any humor in…as all sin is sin and shameful. But for some reason people in the church really like to poke fun and laugh about gay people…and no one seems to find that to be offensive…but me it seems.
It is almost as though it is open season on gays in most churches while all else is taboo as something to joke about. None of it should be something to joke about. Perhaps it is that none of them were ever gay…or maybe they just do not want to confess to it. But there must be some reason for this.
Here were these children, the DeBarges, growing up in the church and such nasty things were going on in their own home from the earliest of ages. And I laughed at them when they finally hit the stage and started performing.
They were the most beautiful family of siblings…as were those Jacksons.
And in case you do not understand what ‘fine’ means when used here this way…it means that they were fantastically handsome, terribly good looking etc…etc…etc…
But those boys acted so gay.
I didn’t try to figure it out…I didn’t try to see anything other than that. And it struck me as being humorous…and that is as sad as whatever else they had to go through…if not more so. That we should all be so small…especially me…to have thought that that was humorous.
I sincerely apologize for that now. Not just because I now have a part inkling of their story, affliction and pain that they were forced to suffer…but because it was wrong of me to do so in the first place. And particularly because of all the misery and heartaches they have all had to come through and to have to bear in their lives very young children.
I cannot imagine how hard it is for a child to grow up having a father who is a predator…and using his own children sexually for most of their years growing up.
In August of 1996, Bobby DeBarge at the age of 39 died after years of alcohol and drugs abuse. He died from complications AIDS related. He was named after his father, Robert Louis DeBarge, a man who frequently sexually abused his own children beginning very early in their childhood. Bobby was a multi-talented song writer, lead singer and musican. In 1988 both he and his younger, Chico, were arrested for attempting to traffic drugs, they served 6 years in prison.
In October of this year, 2008, El DeBarge was back in court on more drug charges, vandalism and domestic violence. Though for many years El was able to not fall prey to the demons chasing him, as well as, his other sisters and brothers…but following Bobby’s death and other family issues, El too soon fell to the demons chasing them all.
Update on EL: I was very happy to see El last week when he emerged on the Soul Train Music Awards Show. He looks absolutely great… and he sounded great too. I am happy for him. Trying to pull your life back together is not an easy accomplishment. But thank God it can happen.
Bunny today is free of drugs and alcohol. She is saved and a mother. She is living her life as a Christian and has just finished writing a book called “The Kept Ones,” a tell all autobiography.
James DeBarge who was once married to Janet Jackson for a few weeks before her family had the marriage annulled, is also saved and living his life as a Christian, as well is their mother, Etterlene DeBarge.
You can CLICK the LINK S below to read the whole VIBE magazine story.
Their mother Etterlene DeBarge, which is also Bunny’s real name, is 72 with her own page on myspace.
Their lives have not been easy. But through it all they have a testimony of survival, defying the odds and are attempting to rise above, and through it all to once again unite as a family victorious through Christ Jesus.
In the words of James DeBarge in the last youtube video clip below-
Child abuse hurts…and in many cases it ruins people’s lives. Many never recover from it. Some just learn how to go on. But we all remember it…and it does remain with us for the rest of our lives whether it appears on the outside or not.
UPDATE: July 29, 2010…Robert Debarge, the father, died last year, August 2009. What a very sad, lonely and broken man he must have been for all the horrors he committed. Truly a sad story…which I understand is soon going to hit the big screen.
UPDATE: August 7, 2012…Just checking on my files and things as I usually do…when I spotted that a few people had been looking for info on the death of James. Immediately, I hit the internet looking thinking that James must have just died. But thank God… he has not. But I came across some pictures of him… and he has really aged.
In looking at his pictured I noticed how much he looks like his father. It must be hard waking up in the morning and looking into the mirror and seeing him… the face of the man who used to abuse you and all your other siblings.
I imagine that they all have good days… and bad days. There are some scars that never go away. That kind of hurt most hurt forever…but thank goodness for Jesus, He can make a difference. A lot of things become easier to bare because of Him.
Let us keep them all lifted up in our prayers.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. And I would like to thank you all…if you have purchased my book. It is amazing to see that my book sells are growing and it is because of people like you. I thank you…and hope that it is a blessing upon to you.
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
CLICK the above screen a COUPLE TIMES if it fails to play at first attempt…and ignor the text which appears on the screen.
God bless…and thanks for reading and …pass it on www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2008
71 comments December 14, 2008
I have gone into court on many occasions and felt that I should have won where a Judge decided against me. In life there are many battles. Though we have to pick and choose our battles…as it is not possible to fight everything all of the time. And when fighting them…we always have to be prepared to loose.
Loosing is as much a part of the process as anything else. There are times in life when we loose and there will times in life when we win. It is a fact. And if you are in sales…they will tell you that ‘it is the law of averages’…meaning sooner or later either is bound to happen.
Bernice and Martin L. King III were recently in court with their brother Dexter who sued them to have their mother’s letters released to him. As he claimed his mother’s letters are part of his father’s estate. Since he negoiated a book deal for $1.4 million for his mother’s memoirs it stands to reason as to why he would want those letters to be in his possession.
At this particular hearing the Judge sided with little Dexter.
One of the best things the court has incorporated in it…is the appeal process. It is not often used as it can be a much harder battle…just preparing the proper paperwork and submitting it as the court requests it to be formatted can be overwhelming in of itself. But the state Court of Appeals are a near final step…you can always go back into court and ask the Judge to reconsider his discision by setting it aside. Which many times though you may get a court date, some Judges just won’t change their minds…not unless you really come up with some evidence which can really sway them to the other side…and that is provided that the Judge is willing to listen to it in the first place. Some Judges can be very difficult and quite hardnose.
Then, if you are still not satified because the Judge failed to change his mind, you may inform the court that you are going to appeal…and BAM! You submit the court with your Notice of Appeal. And you are on your way to the state court to appeal that decision, verdict or whatever the argument or contested matter is of that case.
Now, little Dexter has been busily selling off as much of the King estate as he can while lavashing himself with million dollar property in California…LA to be exact, as he desires to enter into the movie business ad plans on relocating. Well, he has pretty much actually done that…moved from Atlanta for the sandy beaches of LA. And also for the stage lights of the Hollywood sets…well, this not quite. What he doesn’t understand about the movie business…is that he looks too much like his father to make it in Hollywood. The only person he could possibly play would be his father…and I do understand the magic of make-up and all of that…and there are not enough movies being made about Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. to bring his son’s dream into reality.
The point I am making regarding casting of movies….Martin L. King’s face is known around the world. No one would belive or accept a character who looked like Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. as any one else outside of being Dr. Martin L. King, Jr.. In order for it to work his son would have to be able to beat Densel acting, where he could assume a role and make that role, or character come so alive in a way that in the viewing of the movie the audience didn’t see Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. but whatever character Denzel…I mean Dexter was playing. And that is not an easy task.
So, Dexter will never make it in LA as an actor…and you can tell him…I said it. If it were possible Yolanda King who studied drama and was an actor would have been able to find success in the business. But even as woman…she looked very much like her father. In a business where people suspend reality…it is hard to do that when you are looking into the face of Civil Rights icon and trying to imagine or see him as anything else but that Civil Rights icon…and that is exactly what Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. was, and still is…a Civil Rights icon.
The current letters which the court gave Dexter access to are letters written to their mother from their father during the Civil Rights Movement.
Because Rev. Bernice King is supposedly legally over their mother’s estate, it is interesting to me that the Judge would have awarded Dexter with that decision. And Dexter is in control of the Martin L. King, Jr. Center for Non-Violence and his father’s estate.
You have got to have the right lawyer or lawyers. And I am going to tell you something that lawyers hate. Sometimes you have to kick the lawyers to the curb and better go in fighting for yourself…if you have the skill and ability to do it.
Who better to represent you…than you?
But without the proper verbal skills or confidence…and the ability to restrain your emotions…you better not try it. At times in court I have been good…but during family matters I many times just break. Family stuff hurts.
I don’t think that I am all that confident…and believe me when you start standing in front of the Judge having to defend yourself it is even worst. They have terms…legal terms that will fly right over your head. And I should know…because a few of them have flown over mine.
There were times when I wish I had done or said that…at the time it came to me but I didn’t do it. Later afterwards…I could have kicked myself time and time again for not having done so…because it cost me the case. Or I wished I had been smarter.
The first case I ever won was a case I took into Small Claims Court. I had bought a car. The ad read ‘great running condition’ etc…etc… And when I tested the car it ran beautifully. But the next day when I went back to pick it up and give them my money…the car never ran properly. I have no idea what it was…or what they did to it…but I ended up buying a beautiful looking vehicle…but mechanically it was not the vehicle I had tested.
I quickly found the newspaper ad and file my complaint in Small Claims. Small Claims Court is very much like Judge Judy’s show presents it to be. You stand up there and tell your side, show what you have to back it up…then the other side talks…and after a while the Judge ususally says you’ll receive your decision in the mail…whereas on TV…Judge Judy renders a decision during the show.
So, I presented my complaint before the Judge and I got my decision in the mail. And guess what?
The Judge was very nice to me. I had won. But I not only won my money back…but the Judge let me keep the car too. And those people who had sold me the car they paid me all of my money back sending me weekly amounts until I had totally received it all back. And I got the car fixed. It was a beautiful Bonneville convertible, 1968. I could not get out of the car without finding notes on from people interested in buying it from. But this ended being a very expense lesson for the people who sold me that car.
Judges as a rule are not that overwhelmingly kind or generous. So, for a very long time I walked around thinking how I was so smart because I had won…and won like that. But now I have come to realize…that I am not that smart at all…but just exceedingly blessed. I have a very dear and good friend who sits high and looks low…and sees and knows everything.
I never won that case. God did…He won it for me. And many times you go into court…you should really consider Him. I have had many different outcomes in court…but each one whether I have won them or lost them…I knew that God did it. If I didn’t win, I knew that there was something in that case that God desired to show me…or have me consider.
I almost always take everything as a learning experience. I may not always like the outcome of the set of events…but the lessons behind them have lead me not to do somethings again…or seek to do somethings a lot better. And each time I have always found that they were setting me up for the case…which oftentimes were bigger and more important…like our Appellate case in Carolina now.
The lawyers have a this saying, “Only a fool is his own lawyer.”
And unless you are a very quick learner and can adapt quickly…and also…this is a very important point…have the ability to speak up for yourself…and can be quiet while the Judge is talking or listening…unless you can do these things think twice of going into court ‘pro-se’…which means representing yourself. You have to be concise, to the point and extremely well thought out…and certainly able to prove your case for real evidence…whether a paper trail or bills or some type of contract etc… You must be able to prove your case. And need to definitely pick your fights.
And if it is a case that you get to make a decision as to whether the jury decides or the Judge…go jury. Twelve or 6 people give you a better chance at winning.
Recently, I had a case thrown out of court. I brought it against a local doctor and hospital here. I knew the probability of my winning the case was low…but I just could not let it go. For what that doctor did to me…he definitely deserved to be sued. And though I knew I was entering into a very steep up-hill battle…I decided to file my complaint any how. Which is what I did…because the way I figured it out even if I lost…and here is another point.
You have to really be careful at bringing a case that you might loose because the other side will turn around and levy all their court fees, lawyer fees and everything else they can against you. And you could end up having to pay a lot more than what you thought.
But I decided to go forward with my case against that doctor. The case never got very far because to get specialist and all of that costs money…but I knew one thing. I knew that all legal cases become public record…and that is what I sought to do. I knew I couldn’t probably win one way…but I got him the other way. My complaint against him was and is public record. Now, any lawyers seeking to bring a case against him and are looking for amunition against for another complaint…well, they will come upon my case and be able to read in full detail why I bought that law suit. That is why I did it.
We are hoping that everything works out well for the King Family with regard to their current battles. It is very difficult dealing with family matters. And not all times does the right or the truthful party win. But one thing is for sure God will work it out for your good.
God bless…and be encouraged all.
Talking about God. If you read my blog on my parent’s furnace almost exploding. Yes, I am suppose to be in cold…as the furnace is gone. But God gave my parents the wisdom not to have the heat and hot water tied into one. The hot water tank is separate…which mean I still have hot water. So, if I have to go through the winter without the furnace…I can. Because I still have electricity and I still have the stove.
So, God is soo soo good. And I cannot thank Him enough.
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
God bless…and thanks for reading ©2008
Add a comment November 6, 2008