Posts filed under: ‘Sade‘
I would be the last person to criticize or make a mockery of anyone’s child, as I too am a mother of a gay child. The irony of it all is that I too was once gay… or as I like to say, ‘I was in the life.’
So, coming to grips with my son being gay should have been an easy thing for me right?
It worried me. It plagued me. And at times in the beginning shamed me. I went through the whole gambit of emotions trying to deal with it mentally. And truthfully speaking just did not want to accept it… and I still don’t but for other reasons I will get to later in this blog.
But through it all my love of my son never tethered. I have always loved him. In fact, I will go as far to say, ‘That I even adore him.’ And I have always recognized that he was a far better person than his mother.
I recall while teaching several years ago there was a young male student that sought me out to talk to me about his relationship with his family. His family was made up of Saved people who rejected him. They made him feel bad about himself and about the lifestyle he had gravitated toward. He felt trapped because he loved them… but could not deny his sexuality
He was a handsome boy… smart and I could tell that he was kind and loved his family deeply. But their feelings towards him tormented him. They were pushing him away… and out of their lives. They didn’t want him in their house. And I guess it is fair to say that the very sight of him made them sick.
What a shame. They obviously did not know …or could not see the type of person they had really birthed into this world. Because he was worth celebrating… and not rejecting.
While in the life I had encountered many gay guys with similar stories of rejection. Many covered up their alternate lifestyles… or attempted to …or so they thought. Because they did not want the rejection… someth
Many fell away from the church because the church laughed at them… made jokes about them and ‘limp wrist.’ The church turned its back on them and attempted to make them hate themselves. In response to that many became drug abuser…
started drinking heavily… and many even attempted and did commit suicide. And then there were those who broke down mentally and began having mental problems because of the rejection, and the feeling that they had let down their families.
I have seen many sad and lost gay men and women who suffered the pains of family rejection… church rejection and community rejection. In those days there were not gay people all over the TV like today… or all these Hollywood stars walking around proclaiming their gayness as we see today. Or all these anti-gay laws as we see today… or legislation of gay rights and gay marriages etc..
But back in the day there were just a lot of lost souls seeking to find themselves, who seemed to only find 1 place where they felt they really fitted… and that was in the gay lifestyle. Being gay… and I was 1 of them.
Oh, yes… I was 1 of them. I’m free today …and of that yoked of bondage that had once had me bound… but many still are lost. And because of all these new acceptances such as the changing of one’s sex… this whole thing has gotten more and more crazier. And it has fooled a lot of them into believing by doing all these crazy things they will find happiness.
The devil is a liar… and the great deceiver.
I came out of the life when S&M started to become the big rage. More and more gay people were slipping into the bondage thing… and I could just not wrap my head around that. It was not for me. I could not see me allowing anybody to tie me up or handcuff me… or otherwise rendering me helpless while they beat me and did whatever else they wanted to do to me. I could not see the intrigue in that sexually or any other kind of way.
During my time in the life there had always been cross-dressers, drag queens, transvestites etc. But this thing of wanting to become and man if you are a woman ….or a women if you are a man may not be new. But it certainly was not popular. And that is what it is today… popular. And it is very popular … as popular as people tattooing their bodies or piercing themselves all over the place.
But I did not begin this blog to really talk about any of what I just wrote. I really wanted to write about Sade’s daughter.
When I was in the life… it was Sade I longed for. She was so sexy to me. I loved everything about her… including all her music. I bought everything she put out. But then lets face it… her music was good. She was different and had a style all of her own… and I guess that attracted me more than anything else.
I will never forget that for 1 of my birthday’s a friend gave me a large framed picture of Sade, which I hung in my living room. And I would often just stare at it.
Yeah, I was crazy… in love. Sade was fine… but so was my then girlfriend, Angela. Where I would have chosen Sade… many would have chosen Angela hands down. And yes, Angela was quite beautiful. She was exotic in many ways. She had a British accent, and was part Jamaican and Chinese. And she was brilliant… and she was the person who withstood me for the longest… 10 years. She liked telling that story.
When I spoke with her last she informed me that she too had found Christ Jesus, and was reading the Bible daily. I was very happy to hear that as Angela had grown up Catholic and had very conflicting thoughts about God and religion. But there was 1 thing she had said about me… she knew even then… that 1 day I would become woman of God. I guess there was something about me… and it had to do with my training. It was the fact that I grew up in the church… and that training kept me from crossing certain lines… such as drinking or doing drugs… or smoking etc. Where many had been rejected I was not because I did not look a certain way. I could pass… and no one except keen women who were also in the life could spot me.
But I did not cuss or live a riotous life… and I knew nothing about living badly, as my parents were real church people… loving and caring… and giving unto others church people. So, they were my role models… and there was 1 thing about them. They never ever spoke to me about being gay… and I never ever flaunted anything like that in front of them… though they never restricted me in being me.
So, Sade’s daughter is gay. And by looking over the pictures of her and her daughter I can tell that Sade, who took time off from her career as a recording artist for a few years to give birth and begin raising her daughter… that Sade never once thought to reject her daughter.
Seeing pictures of Michael Jordan and his daughter, Jasmine…he too seems to be an accepting father of his child. She is quite attractive… they both are Michael’s daughter and Sade’s daughter. And Magic’s son, Erwin… after having lost over a hundred pounds is quite handsome himself.
Many people can’t deal with sexuality issues and their children. Everybody at some point has had to battle through something. Many adults … parents often forget the headaches they caused their parents… and the many sleepless night they took their parents through when it comes time to deal with their own children.
In life people are always in a state of transformation. Their taste in food changes… clothes changes… thoughts on various subjects change… and they change… they mature… they gain wisdom… and if all goes right they discover who they really are. This is why I am so anti-sex changes… because I understand clearly the changes that people go through from their early stages to their latter stages… and no one is ever the same or thinks the same way.
I sometimes go back and look up old gay friends on Facebook and I can truly say… I am so thankful that I am no longer in the life. They seem so old to me… so sad… and seem to not have grown. We look different… them and me. But then the hand of God is upon my life and has always been.
As Sade’s daughter travels through this life it will be interesting to see the changes and turns her life will too take… as well as Michael Jordan’s daughter and Magic’s son. There is this old song that Donny Hathaway used to sing called ‘Everything Must Change.’ And it goes on to say ...’nothing remains the same.’ That is BUT ‘God.’
And the great thing about God… He loves us all… no matter what pit we happen to fall in. And He is able to reach down and bring us all out.
I no longer fantasy over Sade. Nor do I listen to her music. I’m on a different path… and as my parents prayed for me… I too pray for my son that God does the same for him as He did for me. And I pray for my friends and the many many many others who are lost. It doesn’t matter what they may or may not be in… but if they are not walking in the steps which God has ordered then prayer is the most powerful tool we can use to help… with the hope that God too will favor them and call them out from among them.
God bless… I’ve got to get out of here now. Somebody is probably going to write me saying I thought this blog was supposed to be about Sade’s daughter. And to a degree it was…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016
Add a comment April 20, 2016
Their whole attire is based upon watching people in music videos. That whole thing that they do with fingers…like we used to throw up the peace sign. It’s from watching the guys on the videos. Grinding and grabbing at their stuff…its from…
Well, you get the point.
I have read a couple stories on this romantic little couple…Keyes and her hubby to be.
But how does that happen?
He’s in divorce court…not even un-married yet dropping sperm all over the place while hanging a ring around her neck. Well, I mean on her finger.
Here is a guy where all you have to do is look at his track record and that should give you reason to ease back from him. What kind of man is he that has 2 children with the woman who has him in divorce court, and before settling that matter he impregnates another woman and says-
“Lets get married.”
And I thought I was disappointed in Vivica Fox when she hooked up with 50¢. I thought she was too classy for him…just what I thought about Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown at first. Though I still think that Whitney had more going for her than Bobby Brown, and over a period of time I began to see where neither Whitney or Vivica were quite what I had thought.
Which goes to my point that you should never idolize people who you do not personally know. If you don’t really know them then you do not a true perspective as to who they really are. And that old saying really is quite true-
“All that glitters is not gold.”
Meaning though they may shine…be famous…popular…or whatever but what you see and believe to be good may… Well, it may be something totally different from you think you see. And I am starting to think that about Alicia Keyes.
The guy doesn’t even look like anything to me. But from the articles Alicia is totally smitten by him. And she has to be to want to…or to have allowed herself to fall into the predicament she is in. Pregnant with child by a guy who already has 3 children by 2 different women…and is currently still married.
I hate to say it…but it sounds so ‘ghetto.’ And I say that knowing that many people who live in the ‘ghetto’ do not all act ‘ghetto.’ That is to say that they come out of what is called a ‘ghetto,’ but they do not act or behave in a manner that reflects the negatives of that environment…or the stigma we have come to associate with certain elements within ‘ghettos’ or poorer neighborhoods…such as the character played so realistically by Mo’que in the movie ‘Precious.’
Within ‘the hood’ baby-mama/baby-daddy drama is something well documented…whether you witnessed it on the street or happen to hear someone conversing over a cell phone. You know it when you hear it. It is in the tone of the conversation…the shouting…the emotions…and usually the cussing and swearing.
Amazingly, just like Alicia and this guy, Swizz Beatz. The name alone gives you a clue that there is nothing there. But going back to my initial statement…a few months into a fresh new romance everyone looks as in love as Alicia and this guy in this picture. But then comes the drama.
And I have no doubt that it is going to come…if history has anything to say about it.
The mere fact that he had no respect for Alicia by at least waiting until he finalized his divorce to impregnate her and to set a ring upon her finger…speaks loud and clear. And it ain’t saying ‘love.’
Oh, you may say-
“Oh, he is just trying to do the right thing.”
The right thing?
The right thing was to respect the mother of his 2 children whom he is currently attempting to divorce before dropping a ring on somebody else…and making the other woman pregnant. And Keyes is definitely the other woman in this scenario.
If one went back in time it is possible that the woman who this currently his wife…may have at the time found herself on the other side of the table. And had been the other woman in that scenario between him and the mother of his first child.
It is a know fact that if you meet up with someone this kind of way…where you take them from some else… Well, sooner or later you will find yourself in the same predicament. While the person moves on to the next one.
This guy strikes me as someone who likes to fraternized with women who have made it or are their way to making it. Hint…hint… All gold digger are not female.
The ex-wife to be is a singer too…somebody named Mashonda. Since I do not listen to R&B any more…or rapp…or anything much outside of gospel music…I have never heard of her…or him. But in watching a music video or 2 of his… he definitely has to hook up with someone. Because his talent, if you want to call it that…is not nothing. You might consider him to be another…uhm… Bobby Brown.
So, he was in dire need to go to the next level. And I guess you can say he did just that when he somehow managed to rope Alicia into his web of romance.
At first glance Alicia struck me as clean cut…intelligent…gifted…and a young woman of high standards and morals. But she seems to have believed the hype and sunk into the life of supposed stardom… rapp culture… and whatever else. She seems to have lost some of that style… innocence… and intuitiveness I thought she had.
So, how come she didn’t see this guy coming?
How could she have fallen so deeply under his spell?
Her style changed… her talk changed …she changed. She started showing more…and leaving less to your imagination.
Then I had thought it was going to be Alicia and Common. But Serena Williams tied that up.
But personally she looks smart enough to be a lawyer’s wife… or some doctor’s wife. But somebody with a brain seemed to be what I would have thought Alicia would have wanted. Somebody like a Barack and not a Swizz Beatz.
But maybe like Vivica…Alicia wanted a thug. Just somebody able to throw her down and sex her all night long. But I would have thought that she would’ve wanted far more than that.
Maybe someone she could converse with. Somebody who could do more than flash and throw his hands up in the air… or spin a couple of turntables. Somebody who knew something about responsibility. Somebody who could really love and respect her. Somebody who felt so deeply about her that he would not dare pull her into a mess.
What happened to her common sense?
Why would she want somebody who would pull her down?
Is she oblivious to what has been going on around her concerning messing with married men…and baby-daddies?
Doesn’t she realize that depending upon what state they live in that his children could pull a piece of her earnings too?
Yes, that is right. Once his way of life increases under the influence of Alicia’s money… she could be forced by the court to aid him in supporting his other children due to her income.
I know that it is hard to find men today who do not have any children… but there are some. Some fine decent men waiting on a fine decent woman. Who work and are more than capable of support his queen to be.
I see Alicia carries expensive bags… which cost thousands of dollar, like Chanel, Veneta, Louis Vuitton etc…etc… then why go bottom shelf when it comes to choosing a mate?
And she wouldn’t take a bag that somebody else owned. So, why do that when it comes to a man?
I don’t really know Alicia’s background but I have heard an interview or 2 where she has talked about her schooling and music classes. And it never struck me that she came from the ‘ghetto.’
And let me just state this…that ‘ghetto’ is more a state of mind than being. Because I know people who live in a variety of places including what would be called the ‘ghetto.’ But they do not possess a ‘ghetto’ state of mind.
How do you bring your mistress into Gracie Mansion, the Mayor’s mansion in New York City, where your wife and young son live to do your thing with her?
What kind of woman was she?
I guess Giuliani was just too cheap to get a hotel. But he did not impregnate her… least ways not that we know. And just prior to his attempted run for the White House, he married her.
As to whether they are happy or not… I can’t answer that. But I do not believe any woman can can sleep peacefully at night knowing that have hooked up with someone with a wandering eye. If it wandered 1 time…it can and usually wanders 2 or 3 times. And in Alicia’s case maybe 4… if someone steps up to the plate with more money and appeal.
And he did.
I do not wish Alicia ill… but I just do not see it working out. History always repeats itself, and someone’s nature is their nature. But God…only if God steps in and changes them. And this guy has z history that is speaking loud and very clearly.
But going on to my initial point regarding role models. Like Serena and Venus… I had thought Alicia as a good and decent role model. But this thing about being out-of-wedlock, pregnant and messing with a married man has definitely put a dimmer on that.
The problem is …is that because Alicia is in the public eye she does bear a certain level of responsibility. I have no doubt that she realizes that there are many young girls and young ladies who follow her closely. And for them she sets a kind of standard of excellence and determination.
Her lifestyle and choices like that of many celebrities gets digested, and incorporated into the being of those who follow them. Becoming pregnant by a married man…
Well, it is something most people do not brag about. It shows a level of insecurity… carelessness… and a balant disregard for the other woman on the other side.
This scenario is weighted in history. Its outcomes can be read in newspapers time and time again, due to all kinds of crazy acts of revenge… hatred… threats… kidnappings and murder plots. It is not a pretty situation …and under it no one can truly find happiness.
Because what started wrong in the first place …can’t help but end up wrong too.
Then that is not to say that errors or lapses in judgment can’t happen. But never compound a mistake.
No. She made a mistake. But she does not need to make another mistake… by marrying the wrong person.
Sure she is pregnant with his child. But if he was worth anything that would not be the case.
Clearly, Swizz Beatz lacks certain morals. I know that sounds like a foreign word to some. But morals stand for something. And anyone without them…
Well, would you really want to trust them with your heart?
Apparently, 2 others did. And you can see what was the outcome.
Why should the 3rd…Alicia’s relationship with him be any different?
And don’t say-
“Oh, he might really love her.”
Might is the operative word. He might …and then again he might not. She might just be another trophy to him. Might be just another target for his ego …and something for him to laugh about while chatting with his boys.
As is often in this kind of case… the man walks out on the other woman eventually…leaving her for the next one. It is an endless cycle for those who have no moral consciousness going from 1 woman or young girl to the other.
I pray that women wake up.
Today, we this scenario still plays itself out over and over again. In the story of Leah and Jacob …you can assume that Leah did not love herself very much. The text said that she had a tender eye… whereas Rachel was beautiful. And she could clearly see how much Jacob loved her.
It had to be painful.
Hence, any woman…or girl who loves herself is not going to just allow someone to use them with the hope of winning them over. Or baring a child for them with the hope that this will tie a person to them.
“I don’t know what happened to Marva. She was never ever like that before she met him.”
Before my cousin Marva ‘met him,’ my other cousin shared with me…she was happy and carefree. She loved life… and was always playing practical jokes. But then she ‘met him.’ She loss the essence of who she was.
He did not love her… but he kept stringing her along. Because he knew he had her. She gave him a child… but yet she could not keep him. There were other women in his life …but she refused to let go. Then he married another woman… and my cousin’s life caved in on her.
Suddenly, nothing mattered. Not even her own child. Her thoughts were consumed with him. Her desires were all for him. Then he shun her… cursed her …and stopped seeing her as regular.
And she began attempting suicide.
She succeeded last year when she finally turned a bottle of bleach up to her mouth. This time there was no doctor that could help her.
They could not pump her stomach. It burnt up her insides. And they could do nothing to help her but watch her suffer…for days… my aunt (her mother), her husband (her father) and her other sisters.
But at the funeral they realized that she was now at peace. But what a sad way to go. And what a horrible way of trying to find peace.
What could possess someone to love someone so much…more than than they do themself… or her child… to attempt on several occasions… and then to final succeed in killing themselves?
Could anyone on this planet be worth all that?
His life went on. But her’s ended…and ended horribly.
It had been compounded by 1 error after another.
There are some people not worth being bothered with. And particularly if they can somehow manage to cloud up how you feel about you.
I was once so in love. I do know how it feels.
Everywhere I turned I saw couples. Everywhere I looked I saw people walking hand in hand. Spring was in the air… and so was love. And I had no one…I was alone.
The one I cared for had cast me off. And I was floating …drifting in my mind. Reality was lapsing from me. I saw that which I wish I had. And it was all around me. Happiness …chatter… the glee of being with someone you loved.
But there I was alone.
And yes… it came to me. To kill myself … and to bring it all to an end.
But instead it was overcome by another thought.
I began thinking that maybe ‘the life’ wasn’t for me.
I tried it.
But I didn’t like it.
But I emerged from it pregnant.
I thought of abortion.
So, I just decided to go through with the pregnancy. Truly, that was my thought process. And that is why I now have a son… who I must say is a far better person than his mother.
And my goodness… what would this world be like if my son were not upon it?
I made the right choice. And it is God’s desire that we have freedom of choice… so we can exercise our right to make ‘the right choice.’
And I am glad that I made another choice.
It took me years to get here. But I made the choice to walk in liberty …and to come out of darkness. And I am so happy that I did.
Oh, well… I have got to end now. Because I am really supposed to have watched a movie… and now I’ll be up and working on a legal paper.
So, I really must get moving. Enjoy your day tomorrow.
In closing let me say 1 more thing… Alicia at 29 years of age should be wiser. I say all of this because I have no doubt that a lot people will read this blog. And I would just be wrong if I did not speak truth…with the hope that someone might hear. Or that it might help someone…including Alicia.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
You have got to watch the BELOW video.
1 comment June 1, 2010
Every now and then I like to do something different.
So, while re-reading some of my old blogs today for errors…and up-dating some things…I decided to do this.
On rainy days…like today…sometimes you just want something diffierent…a change….something mellow…easy…relaxing.
And so here it is….enjoy…
I’m staying in today…fighting a bug. I guess it would be the reason why I’m feeling just a bit mellow…since I’m in today just laying back and taking it easy while I work on my bug.
Some dust…I guess… got into my system over the weekend while I was painting up a sign…and every since Saturday… I have been fighting something which feels like an on-coming cold. After thinking it over for a few days it dawned on me… that some dust must have some how have gotten into my system and kicked up my allergies.
So, it’s a good thing I had gone out a few days ago and bought plenty of OJ (orange juice) when my throat started feeling funny…and I realized something was coming on me. Thus far I have been able to keep it a bay. But I need to be over it by this weekend as we will be out smoking up some barbeque ribs and selling hot dogs, and fresh squeezed lemonade etc…etc…at the Caribbean Festival.
I know … I know… they are not West Indian dishes…but… Everyone else will be selling curry goat, curry chicken, oxtails, jerk pork and jerk chicken…along with beef patties, plantins, escovitch fish…etc…etc. So, we spice it up a bit by selling something a little different. And everybody loves it.
I am just not willing to allow any opportunities to get by without mentioning my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE. Just this week I finally tweeked my book trailer into being just what I wanted. You will get an opportunity to see it soon…and find out more about my book right here, as well…besides being able to see it on youtube.
I have been busy…but most of it is coming to an end now. And I am looking forward to that…as I am now gearing myself up for the next leg of this journey…which is getting out to promote my book.
Now, that should be interesting.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…just CLICK the picture of my book for the LINK to purchase my book. You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card. Thank you.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
1 comment August 13, 2009