Posts filed under: ‘Emotions‘




B. SCOTT…drag QUEEN…

I just happened to come across this person while writing my last blog.  And after watching some footage of him I knew I had to write something on him.B-Scott-Head

Michael-Jackson-cuteHis name is B. Scott and he classifies himself as being androgynous… kind like what Michael wanted to be… somewhere between being male and female.

I have seen few people who have pretended to be as happy as B. Scott pretends like he is.  When I was in ‘the life’ I thought I was happy too.  But I never pretended like I was over joyed with it.  Over a period of time I just came to accept it… which I guess if you finally settle upon ‘this is who I am’ you tend to do.  You just start to kind of accept it.  Which is what B. Scott said he finally came to do.

Though I have seen thousands of gay guys and women who acted like they were super dupper happy being gay.  I had also seen them …many of them in the tears because they wished they could be like everyone else.

B-Scott-BET-AwardsWhen I watched this video on YouTube by B. Scott… the 1 below… it really prompted me to write this blog.  Because there were a few things that he said that really gave me insight as to who he is… and why.

(I’ve got to find the right video)  But in the YouTube video  B. tells of how people used to say to him when he was a little boy, ‘You so pretty you should have been born a girl.’

child-cryingIn hearing that it made me think of my son, who at the age of 13… 1 day broke down and started crying saying to me that I would never be a grandmother.  Then he said that he must be ‘gay’ because everyone told he that.

How could I defeat what he was saying?

At the time I was not saved.  I was speechless and did not know what to say.  I was shocked.

Today I big-horns-devil-maskwould rebuke that devil and call the devil and liar.  But that day… I was speechless.  I did not know what to say.

I must confess to being 1 of those gay mothers who was seriously homophobic… terribly.  But I never pushed my thoughts nor my fears over onto my son.    Well, I hope not… certainly never intentionally.   But there was a period in my life when florida-evanshe could nothing right.  I hollered at him about everything.  I did not realize that I was doing that though until a woman who was part of my film shoot on my short film… a niece to Florida of ‘Good Times’… pointed it out to me and talked to me about it.  She said, ‘Why are you always yelling at him?’

I never realized that I did.  But I am glad she brought it to my attention.  I might have drove my son away… but thank God that did not happened.  That big headed boy took me out to dinner last night… to very expensive sea img_2014food restaurant that we both like.  But I do not love him because he treats me to thing… or buys me stuff…  I love him because he is ‘my son.’  And I thank God for him.

I had never heard anyone call him that… that word… ‘gay.’   Though I think they were careful not to do so while I was around… as I would not have liked it.  Though I must say that at an early age I started to feel like I was seeing certain signs of it.  But here is where I want to tell you how the devil works.

You are not seeing anything that the devil has not put in your mind.  Your young children know 11354_loresnothing about sex… but the devil will toy with your brain and make you believe you are seeing things which are not there.

You don’t believe me????

Let me share with you this.  One night while in my apartment in downtown Brooklyn…. as I was leaving the living room to go towards my bedroom I looked down at the floor.  Upon looking down I saw the floor was covered with large water bugs everywhere.  I Palmetto+bugmean swarming with them everywhere.  I quickly looked up and said to myself, ‘the devil is a liar.’
I don’t know where that came from… but that is what I said.  Then I looked back down at the floor and there were no water bugs anywhere.  It had 179293342all been a figment of my imagination… brought about from the devil knowing that I had a fear of those things.  Which came about by the fact that occasionally I would see a water bug in my apartment…  something that my landlord refused to believe.

But that night the devil had decided that he was going to drive me mad… meaning crazy by presenting to me a ton of those horrible things crawling all over my apartment floor around me… and they covered my entire apartment floor.  But I did not go crazy.  God kept my mind… because He did not let me fall for it.  I merely shut my eyes for whatever reason… (as I did not know it was God’s doing at the time)…  I just started believing that they were not there.  You would have had to seen them.  They were so real.

b+scott+kiss+kissThis is how I know that people can see things… which look as real as anything you can touch or feel… and it not really be there.  It was just something that the devil presented to me… and had made it appear real to me because he knew I was afraid of those things. Of which New York seems to me have quite a few of them.

http://www.glaad.org/blog/oregon-mother-charged-killing-her-son-because-she-thought-he-was-gay

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????The woman in the above link killed her 4 year old son because she believed he was gay.  The devil truly had her mind that she would have done such an insane thing.  But he does and can plants seeds in your head… and make you see and hear things which are not really there.   And if you are not careful… and  you let them take root in you… you will believe what the devil has planted and will act out in whatever way he wants you to.

Play-TimeOne day I heard a friend of mine yelling at 1 of her grandsons… ‘Put that rope down, boy.  You ain’t no girl.’

What does having a jump rope in your hand have to do with being gay?

So, what if a little boy wants to jump rope.  It does not mean he wants to grow long hair and become a girl.

But my friend did not realize that she was planting seeds… that 1 day would grown into just what she was asking for.

I had wanted to badly to tell her that what she and other members in her family were doing to him in regards to African-American-Male-Depressedcalling her grandson a ‘girl’… or saying to him had some ‘girl in him’ was wrong.  But I knew they would not listen to me… so I did not.  But now in hindsight I realized I should have tried …if for no other reason other than for her grandson’s sake.

We must speak LIFE to your children.  And do not let anyone speak DEATH to them… not even in joking.  Calling your boy Adam+&+B.+Scottchild a girl is speaking death to him… or your girl child a boy.  Don’t do it.  Encourage them to have fun… let them enjoy themselves as children without you putting all your own sexual hangups upon them.

Bscott_2010So, when I watched and listened to the above video of B. Scott I realized just how he had come to be and why.  I understand him… not so much because of what my son had said to me.  But because I understand how little children can become confused as to who they are if people keep pushing them in some other direction by saying ignorant things to them that labelsmakes them believe what people are saying about them.  And I guess that does kind of fit directly with what my son had said to me.

My entrance into ‘the life’ was very different… it had nothing to do with anyone calling me a ‘boy.’   Because frankly I never looked like 1… nor did I ever want to be 1.  Though I wasn’t much of a baby doll playing little girl either.  I don’t think I tried climbing trees… but I did try my hand at trying to fix a couple of things when I was young.

57614780-450x303But being the oldest my youth was superseded by my having to learn how to do iStock_000005252441XSmall-300x199things at an early age… like washing dishes.  I do not know how old I was when my father pushed a chair up to the kitchen sink… but that was the beginning of my years of me being our family dishwasher.  Then I was taught how to cook… and the list goes on and on…

I was introduced to sex at a very early age.  Not via any family members but outside of our home.  Only twice had it happened.  But it happened before I had a voice or knew I had a voice or african_american_girl_1any idea of what was happening.  That is not to say I was an infant.  I was just a very young innocent child of maybe 6…7… or 8.   group-of-african-american-womenAnd the 2 times it happened they happened at varying times… not close or together.  Maybe a year or so apart… can’t remember that part.

I made mention on 1 of the times in 1 of my other blogs not so long ago.  It was a time that I almost got gang raped… but God said ‘no.’  That was the first time that someone took advantage of me.  But those 2 experiences marked my life forever… and how I think and feel about people who take advantage or abuse children.

But contrary to what many people may say or think… sexual preference many times may not have anything to do with what you were indoctrinated to… or let me say it this way first introduced to sexually.

Keyonte+2Though I have spoken to many gay guys and they had the opposite experience… and some women too.  It did lead them into a life of homosexuality.  And a lot of times it happened to them with someone who took advantage of them sitting in some position in b-scott-man-womanthe church… lived in their apartment building… was a close friend to their mother or father… and ‘yes’ even sometimes it was a relative… or a daughter or a son of the 1 their parent’s friend.  One of my times was such a case as that.  My mother must have known… as she never went to visit that friend ever again.

But going back to this guy B. Scott in watching his videos I felt sorry for him… because I understood him in ways that many people will never get to.  And I also recognized his gaiety… or supposed happiness… really to be his sadness.

me resized...Love you, B. Scott.  And hoping that 1 day God will do a work in your life like he did in mine.  I hope the same 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverfor my son…. and the many sons and daughters dealing with identity problems… issues… or sexual confusion.

And I hope your laughter and smiles will become ‘real’… and turn into a joy that surpasses all understanding 1 day.

And that 1 day you will look into a mirror and see how really handsome you are… and start loving the ‘real’ you’ and not that the ones who 1452460_10200798820042084_848507925_nwere agents of devil told you were… but who God really made you to be.

Well, God bless…. I am really supposed to be doing something else right now.  But I just wanted to take the time to do this blog really quickly.  I hope that it falls upon fertile ground…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2014


2 comments April 17, 2014

Family King… Estate matters…2

I recently wrote how shocked I was to find out that Yolanda King had passed last year at the age of 51. 

In fact, I woke up this morning thinking just how blessed I am.  And it is not just that I am alive…but I have a son, I have a slew of fantastic nieces and nephews, a wonderful and encouraging church family, the best of friends, cousins etc…and then I was gifted with the very best of parents…and have always had the best of everything.  So, yes I awoke this morning thinking…how blessed I am.

Though I was shocked about Yolanda’s passing, I am not, however, shocked about the problems the siblings are currently having.  When you listen to Bernice King speak at Yolanda’s Home Going service,in the youtube footage in my last blog…there was a sense that something was going on among them.

 That is very unfortunate.

Bernice kept expounding on ‘listen to the voice of the Lord and give no heed to another.’

When people die there are a mixture of emotions which surface…among them are greed, selfishness and a sense of ‘I’m going to get mine before anybody else does’…just to name a few. 

When you are forced with having to deal with loss…greed and selfishness are not 2 things…along with anything else negative…that you want also on your emotional plate of loss and grieving.

For some…death brings their families closer together…but for more it drives them apart.  The court is loaded with families seeking legal relief regarding family issues which arose upon the heels of someone dying.

Just a few seconds ago I was chatting with a friend…the one who is hooked on youtube  and is emailing all those old R & B/Soul singers…and she informed me that Bernice and Martin, the third, had filed a law suit against their brother, Dexter King, for mis-managing family funds and the funds of their father’s center, the Martin L. King, Jr. Center for Non-Violence, in Atlanta, of which Dexter now heads.

There is nothing like death to bring out the absolute worst in people.  You will see and hear things you never would have thought would be coming from people you loved, trusted and never would have expected would be acting as they are now acting.

Estate matters hurt.  And more often than not they have to be dealt with through the courts…either Probate and/or Civil Court.

Regarding our own estate affairs on several occasions I have had to go into court to pursue some sort of action, such as becoming the Executor of my parent’s estate.  I needed to become the Executor of the Estate for one reason…because somebody has to be over the property….the property simply cannot regulate itself.  And the other reason that really prompted me to seek the Executorship of my parents estate was this.  Somebody had tried to take out $40,000 against my parent’s property…which was luckily declined.  This and worst are the kind of problems you can come face to face with when people start dying…and greed, selfishness and I’ve got to get mine… all enter the picture. 

It is hard to be at odds with family members…but it happens…and often.  And these fights are never kind.  No, on the contary they can be downright hateful and vicious…and surprisingly so.  But someone has to maintain the high road…the right road.  Somebody has to stand for truth and what is right…yet forsake the spirit of hatefulness and viciousness…though it is being showered upon you.  Otherwise, you will become just like the wrong party or parties…and no one will be able to decipher you one from another.  And that they might not be able to do anyway by the time the other side gets through dragging your name through the mud.

Just look to be demonized…if you are the one trying to do the right thing.  By the time you are really in the midst of it…they will…or he or she will…have you looking like the culprit to anyone who will give them an ear.  And everybody will come to you…and ask what are you doing?

Why are you tearing apart the family?

You will be the thief the robber and everything in between.

It will take much crying.  Many nights of soul searching…and living in isolation.  But prayer can conquer anything.   And lots of it.

And one other thing…having someone who will listen to you…who can offer wisdom and counsel you through it.  Someone who will not prosecute you…because they have already become contaminate by buying into what the other side was saying…because they bought into the lies.

I have found that you have to be able to voice you pain…your strife’s…the turmoil’s that you become faced with during life which keep you up all hours of the night…or all night. 

Just to be able to have one somebody…to be able to tell it all to.  Unloading verbally your problems can be an awful good feeling and somewhat of a healing tool in a time of need.  That is what my friend whom I have shared with you that we believe is in the process of passing.  When I coundn’t find anybody else with whom I could discuss it with…she gave me her ear…and she counseled me through it.  And I never once found her counsel lacking.

My problem was that I was in New York…and I kept saying-

“Oh, I’m not there.”

So, I allowed them to do what they were doing without me interfering.

I had no idea what was going or to what level…until I was forced to go home…even I was constantly questioning family members about it.

And God made it so I had no choice in the matter.  I was evicted…so, I had to go home.

Once there I came to find out that the very person I relied upon to keep me inform about matters at home…had been lying to me.  In fact, I came to find out that he was one of the culprits and he became one of my biggest antagonizers.  And that he had apparently never heard that inheritance comes after death.

Following the passing of my mother, my father took it very hard.  And it doesn’t help anything seeing your children clamoring for everything they can get…grab and snatch from you…and you haven’t even closed your eyes yet.

That has to hurt…after working all of your life for a bunch of people who suddenly become like strangers to you…can be, I have no doubt, devastating.  Yes, he became quite devastated…my father just eventually shut down and gave up.

Money and things can make people change…and go crazy.  And my parents had money and they had things…and nothing they had was cheap. 

We grew up living very well.

And I know I said it in my other blog on estate issues…but maybe we had too much.  One thing for sure we had no appreciation…and those who had some didn’t have enough of it to make difference on my father’s behalf.

If you would care to read more this story CLICK the LINKS below.

http://www.bergproperties.com/blog/dexter-king-pays-416m-for-one-malibu-house-lists-another-for-3495-million/465/celebrities/movers-and-shakers

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2008/07/12/dexter_king_lawsuit.html

Some people may not understand why Bernice or Martin are going after Dexter.  But I do.

Dexter just bought a 4.16 million dollar home in Malibu…that’s Cali…in a ritzy suburb of LA…if you want to get specific.  But he heads the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center in Atlanta?  

It really doesn’t sound like Dexter intends to spend much time in Atlanta…doing his job and assisting in keeping the family legacy going.

No, it sounds more like Dexter has the glitter of Hollywood more on his mind…and a highly expensive pallet to go with it. 

On the surface it sounds more like little Dexter is out to deplete the family estate of all its funds…and is acting like he can’t understand their lawsuit against him.

I don’t know why not…since he is the one spending the all the money.  And has probably been more like they have been trying to call him. 

I have seen some of the best…they grew up with me.   And when I stood in court beside them and heard them speak…if I hadn’t been privy to what we were in court for…forget the judge…I would have believed them.  And they were in court talking against me.

If they, Bernice and Martin, don’t stop Dexter…he is going to run straight through every nickle and dime they have and everything else.  And whatever is left after he gets threw trashing the all the funds…that will go up on the auction block…just like it is in our situation.

It hurts…and people may not like it…may sit on the sideline surmising the situation…those outside of the King family.  And even them themselves, Bernice or Martin may not like it.  They might like having to do it…in fact I know they probably don’t.  But if they don’t do it they will have to reap the consequences of the reckless disregard of their brother…as I now am after turning a blind eye to the situation until I was forced into it and had no choice but to deal with it…and try to get this upside down situation…rightside up again.  

Many might not understand it…and may never understand why Bernice and Martin are doing this…filing a law suit against their brother.  In fact, people will say-

“Dragging the family name through the mud like that.”

But is there a cause?

You get a relative…a sibling…or relatives or siblings…who is out to plunder and destory everything that your parents worked for…and/or out trying to ruin your family name…and lets see how you would handle  it.  Short of going to jail…the only other way is by going to court.  And that becomes public even if your name is not King.

Thinking about my last blog where I discuss my friend who had MS.

I really felt a bit guilty.  I think I made it seem as though I had been some kind of great friend.  When in fact I had not.

After writing that blog, I laid down and thought about it.

During our first year on campus we had been great friends.  But during that second year…well…

I had become some kind of radio super star.  I found some new friends and rarely even spoke with my friend other than in passing.  But yet she continued to be nice and pleasant towards me.

Where we had hung out together before during our first year on campus…during that second year and beyond we did not.  I didn’t have time for her…I was…well…too busy making a name for myself at the campus radio station.  And when I wasn’t there…I was…well…sitting around clowning and playing cards with my new friends.  And I never thought of my friend much during those latter years…until I found out she was sick.

I think about that now.

If I could rewrite that history…I would.

I didn’t value our friendship.  For that matter…I didn’t value her.

I made mention of this to another friend of mines this evening.  And I said-

“You know I really need to write that…because really I wasn’t a good friend.  And I think I made it sound as if I had been.”

And she said-

“Yes, but we were all 18…20 years old then.”

Treasuring people is not something that should come with maturity.  But it should be iinstinctual  and begin from day one…when or as people come into our lives.

That first year was nice…but boy what fun we could have had those other years…if I had only been wiser…and a real friend.

I was not a good friend. 

When my friend needed me…I was weak…and useless.

I will never forget going to visit her one day while I was working at a local radio in her town, which gave me cause to have to see her more regularly.  But I will never forget getting there and finding out she had suffered 3rd degree burns all over her body.  Simply because she had tried to bathe herself.  There had been no one there to help her.  The home health aide who was suppose to be there with her many times would not even show up or would leave early leaving my friend alone many times, as I later informed by my friend’s mother. 

It angered me that no one paid attention to stuff like that…and that no one cared.  That person…that home health aide whom I had never once seen in the few times I visited with my friend during the time I worked at that radio station…she should have never been allowed to do that.  And not only that but my friend by this time was in such a state that she really needed round the clock care. 

When I think back on it now…struggling that way kept my friend out of a nursing home and also near her daughter whom she adored…and who had virtually became the parent to her mother.  She was just a young kid mostly caring for her mother almost virtually herself.  And today she too is suffering with MS.  

But my friend…she had managed somehow to wheel herself into the shower.  But she could not regulate the water properly…nor remove herself from up under it when it grew too hot.  My, Lord…

Just knowing that about the aide…I should have agitated for my friend for better care…or something.  But not even that did I do.

I know you are waiting on some more Chinese…and I will give it to you…it’s coming.  If only I can find my Chinese book.

Started really cleaning the house today…so any day now I should put my hand on that book.  That is all I am going to say…except also my friend to whom I was talking with this evening pointed out to me how I spelled Collin Powell’s name wrong.  Good looking out…now if I can just figure out how to correct that…I will.  Thanks.

Got to get into New York on Sunday…it is my Pastor’s Anniversary.  This will also give me a chance to visit with my friend who we believe is passing. 

Wouldn’t it be great if God just lifted her up off of her sick bed.  And gave her to speak again…to walk again…and to eat again.  It is great to know that God is capable of doing all things…including that.  And for Him that would just a light thing.

Well, God bless…

Before getting off the line with my friend…we started talking a little bit about politics. 

It has been a bit tooquiet politically don’t you think?

It just means to me that those sneaky Republicans are busy planning how to rig the election.  I have never seen a more dishonest bunch…outside of some of my own family members.  I’m just kidding about some of my family members…but it could be a true statement…might be true.  But they are mines anyhow.   I can kid somewhat about it now…but believe me it has been a very trying time when you have to deal with family woes.

But going back to the underhanded crafted and shameless Republicans.  The only way McCain stands a chance…is a fix.  It’s the only thing they can do because Obama is light years ahead of him. 

McCain can’t out talk him, can’t debate him…doesn’t have his youth, zeal or appeal.  It’s like Buggs Bunny running circles around Elmer Fudde.

Look for the big fix…and all of the dirtious tricks they can pull out of their hats and anybody elses to start hitting the air waves soon. ©2008

Add a comment August 2, 2008

On the taboo subject…

I tried not to look but I couldn’t help myself I had to click to the story…about the supposed man giving birth to a child. 

Now, when I initially wrote on this story a few blogs ago…I knew that there had to be something wrong…because it was just out of sync.

And there was…the supposed man in the story…is really a woman living as a man who…I started to say had a sex change.  But she couldn’t have otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to have the baby or get impregnanted.

I am naive on many things…and I truly am.

But there are somethings which clearly just irritate me.

Why go through all of the trouble of trying to present yourself as a man…and then want to get pregnant?

What was she trying to make a mockery of?

Herself or God?

He can’t be made a mockery of.

And then to have this picture of her…well, supposely him and the baby together.  Well…

Was this just a media thang?

And now they…what? The gay couple exploit the child and their relationship? Selling their story to the tabloids and appearing on talk shows. Anything for a dime or a dollar.

I once knew someone…and I guess I still do…just that I haven’t seen them in a very long time.

When I first met this person I realized something was out of whack…but I could not put my hands on it. 

She lived in the same town as a friend of mines…and I say she because really that is what I met him as…and have only known him as.  Though I do realize to call him…her would be lying…though at the time of course I was not saved…nor trying to be.

Well, she lived in the same Jersey town as my friend…who was new to the area.  And I just thought it would be nice for them to meet and then my friend would have somebody to hang with over in Jersey.

It was my friend who informed of what I just couldn’t put my finger on.

She said to me one night…while we were all out at dinner or something I think…she said after the person had gotten up from the table-

“I know you kept saying that there was something strange…or something about her.  So, I have decided to tell you.  And don’t look over there at her when I tell you this.”

I said, “Okay.  So, what is it?”

And she said…she ain’t a she.

I know I said I wouldn’t look over in her direction…but my head spun around so quickly.  It was an automatic response.  I could not believe it.   I knew I had felt something was out of whack…but I never would have guessed it was that.

My friend immediately admonished me saying-

“I told you don’t look.  Don’t look.”

But I could not help but look.  In fact I was staring.  I had never experienced anything like that before.  It was adverse to me.

I thought that she was a woman and nothing could have prepared me for anything otherwise.

I told you I had been terribly naive…and to some degree still am.

That was at a time when I was heavily involved in gay life…hanging out…partying in clubs with women…and a member of Salsa Soul Sisters, Inc, in New York City.  My life is by no means like that now but there was a time…almost 25 years of my life when that is what I did.  Before that I was not sexually involved at all.

So, I had gone through grade school and college without any type of involvement.  Never dated boys in my life.

I was just different from most people and lived a highly sheltered life under the wings of my parents.

It was in Salsa Soul Sisters that I met this person whom I had introduced to my friend who had just moved to New Jersey from St. Louis.  Salsa was a lesbian organization…and I guess that is why I never would have guessed that this person had been anything other than a woman.

But this is the way it went…she was a guy who wanted to be a woman and then a lesbian.

When the Salsa Soul Sisters found out about this…every founding mother and everybody else stormed into Salsa one night…the record had to be set straight (no pun intented)…and they called an emergency meeting.  Where it was voted on that no biological male could ever become a board member of Salsa.  Because that was really the issue…not only did she want to become a woman and be a lesbian…but she also was nominated to run for a position on the board of directors of Salsa…and that of course was a no-no for any male…real or operated on…which at the time she was not.  And the Salsa Soul Sisters were not having it…not at all. 

You would have loved to have heard those women that night…it got pretty heated…and they were not playing.

In the end I felt sorry for him…because he was nice and had proven to be a good worker.  But my Salsa Soul Sisters were right…and I had to agree with them. 

Salsa was a black lesbian organization…the oldest in the world.  And through their years some very well known women, writers, artist of every type…and professional women and otherwise…etc… have walked through their doors…including Audrey Lorde, June Jordan and many many many others…all Salsa Soul Sisters.  Some very well known and widely read, and seen in media and all facets of the arts, performing and otherwise, as well as educators etc…all Salsa Soul Sisters.  Exceedingly, talented women.

It was hard for me to grasp why she…he would want to dress up as an woman and engage in sexual activity with women as a lesbian.  She was after all a man…by living his life as man…he would not have had any of the confusion that just knowing the story caused me and many of the other Salsa Soul Sisters.

And as much as they tried…tried to not say…many of those same women dated her…before and after that meeting.

There is much confusion in the world…and I am so glad to not have that type of confusion any longer.

I am so glad that God has reclaimed my life…and set me free from the bondage that once held me.

Perhaps as strange as I thought she was…she was not more strange than I was.   One thing is for certain we were both lost.  I don’t know about her or him today…but I have been set free.   And I walk in liberty.

But there is one thing though…I will leave a pocketbook like most people forget an umbrella…because I am not used to carrying one.   So, most of the time I don’t even bother with them…unless it is something like a bookbag…because I will walk off and 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverleave it.   Smile…and even that too may become a thing of the past.

It is so good to be free.  I cannot thank the Lord enough…for saving me.

Have a good day…    and God bless….

Oh, yeah…another Chinese word.  wu bu dong ….  means I don’t understand… wu is Chinese for ‘I’.

It is pronounced …..woo boo dung.       So, it can be said either way… wu View Bernadine Smith's profile on FiledBybu dong   or    bu dong  …meanding I don’t understand.

It has been raining most of the day and yesterday…but just as I was about to finish telling this story the ceiling started leaking.  I look at it as a sign that the devil just doesn’t want me to tell this story.  But I will tell it everywhere I go if need be…if it can encourage somebody or help someone else to find peace and deliverance in their life.  I’m going to tell it.

I am oh so thankful….for the chance to share it with you.

It is funny…but the moment I wrote that last paragraph the ceiling stopped leaking.  It is the power of God…to speak what he puts upon your heart to speak.  I know that this blog is going to touch someone in a special kind of way…and I am so happy to be able to speak life and truth into your life.  Be bless… ©2008

Add a comment July 24, 2008

More on R. Kelly…Black Men Pulling Together

A group called “Black Men Against the Exploitation of Black Women” is taking on R. Kelly…and rightly so.

They are calling black folk to take a stand with them and boycott Kelly and never support him again.

Now, I can get to that…but it is the rest of it I have a bit of trouble with…

It goes like this…stand with them until R. Kelly publicly apologizes for his behavior and gets help for his sexual mis-conduct and highly ill-legal acts with children (paedophilia) and his grotesque sexual lyrics which are demeaning, and diminish women to mere sexual objects.

For the harm that R. (Robert) Kelly has done to the several known young girls who were victims…a mere apology could never be enough…nor all the money he has managed to pay them and their families off with.

This stuff doesn’t get erased.

When innocence is stolen…it is stolen.

Forever….and how do I know?

What has happened to little children being protected by their parents and families…and other adults?

Now, you are afraid to send your children to school…because we not only have to be careful of the male teachers and coaches…but the female teachers acting like a fool now too.

I have an adopted neice…one out of several…who shared with me on several occasions how her own natural grandmother would allow her husband to have sex with her regularly. This mind you while my neice was extremely young…under the age of 11.

R. Kelly is not all by himself.  There are many many many men who indulge in this practice…whether they be in their upper teens or latter years.  But these cases mostly go un-reported because the children really don’t know how to process it. They feel something about it is not right…so, they don’t speak about it. 

For one reason because they simply don’t know how to voice it.

So, they bury it within themselves and carry it into their womanhood and manhood where they still oftentimes keep it hiddened.

There is a woman in our church, who when she gets up to speak many times she tells of her father having sex with her as a child repeatedly. I have no doubt that it had an impact upon her because she tells of it often. And each time she tells it…I hear her authority in voice…an authority that she didn’t have as a child when her perpetrator, whom in this case was her own father, sought her out to rob something from her over and over again.

Those black men who have come together to build a coalition to boycott R. Kelly are currently 19 Black Men strong…made up of professors, writers and activists in the African-American community.  I salute you all…Black Men Against the Exploitation of Black Women…and children everywhere.

Speaking of music, I have a friend who is hooked on youtube.

And don’t ask me how she has managed to do it…but she is conversing with some of the ol’ R & B/Soul singers. It is a mystery how she has managed to hook up with them…and if I were to call some names you would know them. And some of them still look good too.

But then…she has always been a real groupie.

While looking up something else I came across this on youtube…and I could not resist sharing it with you as these were my girls.   I think I made mention that I used to do radio. 

Well, in radio you get to meet a lot of folk particularly if you work in various markets.  And I have…so after hanging with Sheila, Wanda and Pam (the Emotions) one concert night…they invited me to New York City…to the Nassau Coliseum where they were going to be performing the following night.

Did I go?

Definitely.  

I drove right up into the coliseum like I was part of the act and was on stage most of the night.   Enjoy…    and God bless….   

Oh, yes…takes a while for the Emotions to load…click on it and lower the volume…then watch the other video while the first one loads.

ps…I don’t really listen to this stuff anymore…my musical taste has changed drastically as well as my life.  ©2008

Add a comment July 22, 2008

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