DENSEL… DIVORCE OR NO DIVORCE….

I was standing in the line at the check-out cash register when I happened to spot the magazine that read, “150 Million Dollar Divorce.”  And with that notation on the cover of that magazine was a picture of Densel and his wife, Paulette,  of some near 30  years.

Needless, to say I was a bit shocked, because as far as I knew they adored one another.  And lets face it, based upon all that Densel has said about his family and wife… there is no way that anyone would believe that THAT marriage was not rock solid.

Well, is it or isn’t it?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/12/denzel-washington-divorce_n_3586774.html

The answer is… I don’t know.  But then is it really for me to know.

Perhaps I should not say this but once while taking some sessions with Spike at Long Island University, about the time that Spike was making Malcolm X.  In one of the sessions a young woman, who had worked closely with the production people.  A fairly attractive, I guess… white woman began talking about Densel in such a way that I could tell she had great disdain for him. 

She claimed he had gotten fresh with her.  Maybe more than a bit flirtatious.  And she apparently did not like it.

Now, I’m not saying this is true.  But it came back to mind when I was reading the front cover of that magazine.

When I initially looked this story up over to internet to see if it were true, I could find nothing on it.  Now, it seems that Densel is out and about saying ‘there will be no divorce.’  He is saying that there is no break-up inspite of what seems to not be 1 rumor …but rumors.

Densel Washington today is a top of his game a very high grossing actor… a super big action movie hero and heart throb.  His world today is a very far cry since his days on the small screen,  as a doctor at St. Elsewhere… or something or other like that, a hospital series that was on TV… some maybe 20 years ago.  At his leisure these days Densel commands upward and over $20 million per film.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/dorothypomerantz/2011/11/03/hollywoods-most-overpaid-stars/2/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2212271/Denzel-Washington-wife-29-years-Pauletta-look-love-holiday-Italy.html

http://www.theroot.com/buzz/denzel-washington-denies-divorce-rumors

Densel and Paulette started dating in 1977… 3 or 4 years later they married.  He was then a struggling and aspiring actor, and she was an actor/dancer, some 5 years his senior.  They have been married 29 years… and are the parent of 4 or 5 children.

Since Densel is declaring that his marriage is not over… I guess unlike so many other couples… they both must feel that their marriage is worth fighting for.

Either that or all this talk about divorce really is… nothing but senseless rumors.

And I say bravo… to that.  Which ever 1 it is…

The alleged other woman is this… from what I gather, is actress Lanaa Lathan, of that hit movie ‘Love & Basketball.’

Didn’t she used to be  Omar Epps’ girl-friend years ago?

Lathan looks good now…and has always been pretty.  But Densel’s wife is beautiful.  And I know whatever he does… if this thing might be true…  Densel is going to be thinking about his kids… and the effects upon them and their mother.  And, of course, his pocketbook… otherwise that $150 million divorce article might come true.

At this stage of the game I believe Denzel to be mature enough to definitely not be going through that thing what Donald Trump and Ivana went through.  That thing which so many men say they go through.  That…that thing… which is actually an excuse for exchange in sexual partners and/or wives… called ‘mid-life crisis.’

Well, God bless… hope you are having a great week this week.  I am so happy that the weather has broke.  I needed the relief from all that heat.

I am still nursing my foot.  Still trying my best to stay off of it as much as I can.

Again let me say that I want to thank those of you very much  who have ventured out and purchased my book… which can be ordered on-line at any number of websites… just google THE BISHOP’S WIFE by Bernadine Smith… and see for yourself.  And you can also read excerpts from my book on-line as well at Barnes&Nobles Nook, amazon.com etc…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2013

Add a comment July 26, 2013

BETTYE AND MALCOLM X…Black History Month 2013

Well, since it is Black History Month maybe now would be a good time to post this blog which I started in 2009 but never, for some reason or other never came back to.  Can’t remember what prompted me to begin it in the first place.  Though I must say along with Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Coretta Scott King, Bernice Reagan, Merle Evers, Harriette Tubman, Sojourna Truth, my Mother, Grand-mothers, Great Grand-mother, Mrs. Parks, as in Rosa… and half a dozen others… if not more women I have always admired… I celebrate them all.  And if I keep thinking I am sure that I can come up with a few more… like O. J. Simpson’s first wife.

You may asked why I have O. J.’s first ex-wife on my list… it is simply that I admired her for taking the high road in all that mess.  Out of all of O. J.’s supposed friends and colleagues… judges and lawyers everybody went for the money.  They sold O. J.  out every which way they could sell him.  That is to say everybody except for his first wife.  She never took 1 dime or ever came out against him.  Never wrote a book… never signed a book deal… and she denied almost every offer for an interview.  Though I am sure that she could have had a lot to say… but she chose the high road… the side of  ‘to do him no harm.’

So, women like that… or people like that I can admire without any level of hesitation.  Because most people today will sell you down the river for a dime… a promotion… or whatever else is up for grabs.  And I am not being cynical.

Relationships… family bonds… friendships… you name it and they can all be tossed to the wind if somebody comes in with the right price.  And sometimes that prices doesn’t even necessarily have to even be actual money.  It can be a position… a title… an automobile… property… status… and phoney friendship… whatever the other side is in need of or looking for.

This is one of biggest and most saddest things about the world and people who live in it today.  Had Jesus still been alive today he might have had to worry about  more than 1 Judas… but maybe 6… 8 or 11 of them.

Everybody loves you while there is something to be gained in their association of you.  In the Bible it appears that Job was a very popular man until he lost everything including his health.  So, I guess it can be said that people have been the same throughout history.  Was it not Caesar who said ‘et tu, Butus?’

It was not a secret that Malcolm X was the Honorable Elijah Muhammad, the founder and religious leader of the National of Islam, right-hand-man and 2nd in command.  In fact, Malcolm had become the front man for the organization… he was the voice and the face of the organization at that time.

Malcolm X, Malcolm Little the name given to him by his mother, was such an eloquent speaker and possessed such great charisma that the Nation of Islam grew greatly under him.  A thing that I am sure was celebrated in the beginning of their relationship between him and Mr. Muhammad… but later it became a source of contention between the 2 …as Mr. Muhammad saw Malcolm X’s power and authority growing among the ranks of the followers in his organization.

And then Malcolm went to Mecca and everything really changed between them.  When I was in high school I recall buying a book called the “Autobiography of Malcolm X” …that book really intrigued me.  I had not known anything about him until I read that book.

I guess I should invest more time in reading about our historical icons… and those who are little known.  Their contributions were great and should not be overlooked… while we make millionaires of  only writers of fiction.

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://s3.amazonaws.com/findagrave/photos/2001/222/elshabazzbetty.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi%3Fpage%3Dgr%26GRid%3D4739&usg=__H5vpHCMEnnmQd1pvbIILx-bFUzo=&h=247&w=400&sz=41&hl=en&start=160&um=1&tbnid=xS7xgNBljPRpPM:&tbnh=77&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbetty%2Bshabazz%2Band%2Bmalcolm%2Bx%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26start%3D140%26um%3D1

I really cannot remember what prompted me to begin this blog… or why I entitled it ‘Bettye & Malcolm X?’

But there had to have been a reason.  But since really I cannot at this time remember the reason… I have decided to just go ahead and post this blog anyway as a tribute to Black History Month 2013…  I hope you enjoy it.

I celebrate all the heroic women and men who make up our history.  Who endured, sacrificed… bleed… were spat upon… whooped… beat… stomped… dogs sicked upon… hit with forceful waters from water hydrants… who were made widowed or orphan… chained… tarred and feathered… and those who died.  I celebrated them all… including those who felt it worthy to die over just being called a belittling word that started with that letter ‘N’ … that I might walk and sit… and eat and sleep… and live… and go to school  etc… where I want to.

I will not forget… nor can I ever repay the debt by which they have endowed me… my family… my son… my nieces and nephews… our families… our history and our legacy for generations to come.  Providing us with much pride… dignity… courage that must be passed on to all our children.

It is Black History Month… and I am happy to celebrate all of our she-ro’s and hero’s… and there are many many many many of them.  And I thank God for each and every one of them.

http://www.malcolm-x.org/media/pic_01.htm

Well, God bless… it’s Wednesday and though it has not been very cold… it has been wet.  Some light snow and thankfully rain (instead of snow).

It is now Friday… and no I was not procrastinating.  Just kept running out of time… as my internet at home is out I am now regimented to using computers elsewhere to complete and write my blogs… a condition I hope to soon rectify.  So, until then bare with me… I may be a little bit and might appear to not be on top of things… BUT it is not my fault.

Before I close just want to take a little time to discuss the current Obama backlash.  Right wing media and its so-called voices are really ridiculous.  They get all hot and bothered about everything the Obama’s do.  Jealousy is a very sad thing… it hinders one from seeing clearly.

The current blow-out is over First Lady Michelle Obama appearing on the Oscars.  Oh, man… how they whooped and cried over that claiming that the Obama’s think they are some kind of super-stars… how they think they are better than what they are… how they have lowered the image of the White House… etc… etc.. 

They would all be out of a job… for lack of anything to say.  And so screaming over everything the President or his wife does keeps their pay checks coming.

It is sad when you only get paid to find fault.  Can’t imagine wanting to live that kind of life.

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2013

2 comments March 1, 2013

JEDA and WILL… could it be coming to an end… Living in ‘the Life’ …

You would think that 1 of the hottest topics at the Atlanta Hair Show would have been about some fantastic hair-do… but it wasn’t. Way from it.

The buzz on the floor and from booth to booth was about Will Smith and Jeda Pickett-Smith.

I had long ago wrote a glowing blog about them being great role models and a beautiful couple… but who knew that all was not what it seemed?

They seemed to be the perfect couple.  Happy… and certainly with it all going on.  But who knew what dark little secrets lurked deep down within?

Who knew that it was at all as it was made to seem?

I thought them happy.  I thought them perfectly matched.  I thought that they truly loved one another.  I thought that there was nothing that could drive them apart. I thought…

Well, I thought all was well.  But it seems that it wasn’t.  And that it was far from being well.

It was my son that broke the news to me saying-

“It was all everybody was talking about.”

But who knew?

Well… I knew someone who knew… and she told me it many years ago saying-

“Awh, come on, Bern… don’t you see it. If you don’t then you are the only 1 who doesn’t.”

But I refused to accept it. But it seems that she was right… that same friend who I wrote about in my blog about the DeBarge family…  the 1 who I used to laugh with when we would giggle over, and pick fun at how sissy the DeBarge brothers all seemed.  Yeah, her…

So, I asked my son what were they saying?

And why?

And he said they got tired of having an open marriage.

I said –

“What?  What do you mean an open marriage?”

I was thinking he was talking about the usual kind of thing maybe some other woman … or possibly another man. The man part was right… but he wasn’t talking about Jeda.

It was Will.

And my son said that everybody at the hair show was talking about it.  Since the hair show was made up of a large number of gay men… I immediately began to think that this had to be true.  Because  gay men are in the know about such things as this.  And from men to women at the hair show… they were all buzzing about it.

I have yet to pull myself up off the floor behind this. Some things really do come as such a surprise… and this was 1 for me.  Though I have to say it again… my friend had told me it long ago, when Will was playing as the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.

It was something I guess I never wanted to see… and perhaps way down deep I was hoping it wasn’t so. And I STILL AM.

I really thought Will and Jeda made for a great couple. They seemed to be great parents …and they seemed to place a high value on family.

Though I wasn’t particular about their new-found religious beliefs… and how after coming into all that money they decided that they wanted to convert into becoming members of the Church of Scientology. Which struck me as a Hollywood thang… for the $20 million plus crowd. Which Will stepped into many years ago after leaping from the small screen onto the large screen… with a massive following.

It is disappointing really. But I guess we are all chased by demons at some point or other in our lives. The trick is to not allow them to consume us.  And to fight until we win… and not them.

There seems to be a rash of men and women stepping into the gay lifestyle. For some it seems to be hip…even fashionable.  But for others it is something that they have been drawn into … whether by their own fascination …or by some type of inducement… enticement… inquisitive nature … or whatever have you.  And clearly I forgot about acts of abuse as another root cause for some.

But for whatever reason it seems to be growing. Or maybe it is that it is more open. Perhaps, the latter is probably the real case.

And it seems to me that I see so many young school kids making choices at early ages about such things. And many of them… especially the girls are deep into role-playing… meaning dressing or acting out the male role.

Having come out ‘the life’… meaning having been gay myself… I cannot help but feel for them. So, I study them and watch them… and can’t seem to take my eyes off them. Because I hate to see anyone commit their lives to something that is so anti-them.

I can’t say that I hated me. But I did hate what I looked like… hated my size… and I can’t remember what else. But I never really liked me.

I never thought I was pretty or anything like that. And my interest were not really in girl-ly things.

But I never desired to be a boy… and certainly not a man. I did like that part about me.

So, I never considered role-playing as an option for me… though for most of  my relationships with women …I was designated as what would have been the male role. Because even in not playing roles… somehow you end up in them. Somebody is going to be more fem …and somebody butch. And it is because that is how life is… and we imitated life and the various categories of life as 2 people together.

But I really get disturbed at seeing so many young people gravitating towards an alternate lifestyle. And particular those who are so young… young girls and boys in the 7th or 8th grade.

CLICK.  It has just dawn on me that I was in the 9th grade when some girl first started following me around… and later began to stick letters into my locker. How quickly we forget.

I rarely think of it now. Her letters turned into phone calls when she happen to come upon my sister 1 day… telling my sister that I had given her our phone number… and that she had lost it.  So, my sister accommodated her by giving  it to her again… or so she thought.

This is when I found out that all those mysterious letters in my locker were coming from a girl. It is funny because I never ever talked to that girl face 2 face… until much later in our lives. Because for 1 thing I was afraid of her…

I was naive and had never heard of 2 women …or girls doing anything together. .. sexually that is. And secondly… well… I just thought that she was crazy.

Once I realized what was going on I soon began to notice that that girl used to walk pass all my classrooms.  She used to just stand there outside my classrooms looking through the glass door at me.  She also used to sneak into the 9th grade lunch… as she at the time was only an 8th grader…  and she would always sit somewhere across from me… watching me… staring at me.  It is funny how I had never noticed her before… but then I had thought it was some boy sending me all those letters.

Though the girl never tried to hurt me… or ask me to do anything sexually… I nevertheless kept my distance from her.

Believe it of not I had actually finished this blog…BUT LOST EVERYTHING BELOw THIS.   So, at some point maybe I may come back and redo it.  But not right now …or tonight it  is after 4 AM…

So, please forgive me while I get some sleep.

Well, God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2011

Add a comment August 24, 2011

First Michael… now Gary Coleman… Blanche… and the oil mess… Boycott BP

If seems that fame brings about a lot of  problems that many of us would really rather not have.  But so many only see the glitz and the gleam of the big bright lights…and nothing else.

They clamor to be in the videos, on the cover of the magazines, on the big screen, sitting on the Oprah show… or on somebody’s reality show.  They want it… want it… or 15 minutes of  it… if  that is all they can get.

Some people have committed various acts… including murder… shooting up high schools …bombing buildings …etc…  all in order to get their name in print and/or picture on TV.

Many have sought it… and many who found it have also turned and tried to run from it.  Because all that glitters is  really not gold.

If  many knew what that life was really like I doubt that they would pursue it.  It is a life filled with lots of ups and downs.  And plenty of  its own uncertainties… and always lots of money and work woes.

There are some things in the video clip above that you should play close…very close attention to.  First of all, is the lack of any real care or concern by the woman who claims to be Gary Coleman’s wife.

Second of all, when she finally does start talking to him…listen to how she speaks rather…barks at him like she is talking to a little misbehaving child instead of a bleeding and near dying husband.

Third of all, how she announced to the operator that her name is Shannon Price…and not Shannon Coleman.

And Fourth of all, how much more concerned about herself and what she can’t stand and what is going on with her… which seems to be of  far more importance to her than a bleeding Gary Coleman.

Is it possible that Gary Coleman may have fallen prey to a person he should have chased back and away from him…instead of marrying her?

After several episodes of  run-ins with fans who seem to have gotten too close to him,  where Coleman had been noted as being mean and evil towards them.  And often it ended up with him punching 1 or 2 of them in the face.

Then how did he hook up with this woman?

Is it possible that she allowed Coleman to lay there bleeding until he was near death…and then decided to call 911 for emergency assistance for him?

Is it possible that she may have hit him or… somehow or other brought  about brain hemorrhage  that brought about his death?

Is it possible that she ever loved Gary Coleman at all?

Not if  you go by what you hear during that 911 call.

Gary Coleman’s burial has been postponed… though the article said ‘cancelled’ …hmmmm…

What does that mean?

At any rate Gary’s parents have sent their people to step into the picture between that woman and Gary…on their son’s behalf.   I really feel for them.

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/06/exclusive-todd-bridges-ex-manager-begged-gary-colemans-ex-wife-not-pull-plug

I had always thought it sad when Gary went into court with his parents, who are really foster parents to him.  But I guess the only parents he ever knew.  And after it happened, I had always hoped that time would have healed that wound between them. 

It does happen sometimes in families.  In fact in many families it does happen.  Most families experience some type of  falling out one time or other.  But then there are those families that go to grave not ever speaking again after whatever happened came between them.

Those family members who mature and/or come to know that ‘there is nothing like family,’  they learn to but aside differences in order to not to continue to tear the family apart.  Many times it is hard but you have to do it ‘for the sake of the family.’   Otherwise, there will be tons of  regrets on both sides years later… and usually well after it is too late.

I had to learn through the grace of  God to put aside some things dealing with family issues in our family.  The things that set us at each other, and all the name calling… finger pointing …can’t override the value of keeping the family together.  You have to work at keeping the family together… because no amount of things or ill  will or words can compensate for it…family.

Family is important.

Unfortunately, Gary Coleman may have elected to turn his back on the 2 people who may have well loved him the most… to run into the arms of people who filled him up with a bunch of  ill advice and evil counsel.

On the other hand Dana Plato’s, the young girl on Diff’rent Stroks, foster mother struck me as being much like Patty Duke’s family and aunt, who saw her as being a gold mine.  The same could be said about the father of  the star of  the movie  ‘Home Alone,’  McCaulay Culkin.

It is sad imagining any child who has to endure a life among people who really do not love them… or who value more what the child can earn for ‘them.’  At some point I guess this is exactly what Gary began to feel… though I must say I never believed it about the people who called him ‘their son.’

Personally, I think there should be an autopsy done on Gary Coleman.  Something just does not sound or smell right.  It is kind of  like how I still feel about Michael Jackson’s death.

I think it was murder.

And it would seem that he… Gary did still have  some money.  Look at what he was driving.

Michael Jackson was a young teen boy when people got in between him and his family too.  Over time and perhaps even out of  some degree of  necessity on both parts… their’s and his… they slowly came back together.  Because at the end of the day…family is all you have when you get right down to it.  All you have got to depend upon.

Perhaps, near the end of  Gary’s life he realized that too.

Going through pictures of  Gary Coleman, I can see that there were times when he wasn’t doing so well healthwise.  I produced a documentary on dialysis a while ago.  Before it I had never heard the word dialysis before or even knew that there people who could not urinate on their own due to problems with their kidneys.

But I had an aunt who started needing dialysis treatments due to her diabetes.  Through her I came to find out about the illness and how it ate away at  those who had to depend upon it.

In this picture you see a darker Gary Coleman.

Well,  that is one of the side effects of  dialysis.  Another is the obvious swelling of  his face… and the ashy-ness of  his skin tone.  Do you notice how his eyes appear to almost  be shut?

He does look sick doesn’t he?

With so many health issues due to his kidneys since being a young child and straight through his life… which also stunted his growth greatly… and other problems… it is not hard to see why Gary Coleman was as he was.  Though such adversity in the lives  of others has caused them to not only raise above their circumstances…but to truly go for the stars in ways that Gary did not.  They turn their circumstances around by working to benefit the lives of  others.  But it seems that  Gary could not rally that kind of strength.

He seemed to be alone in the world… and the 1 person left for him to depend upon wouldn’t even help him in his final hour of  need.   What a tragedy…for him …and maybe even for us.  As none us tried to help him either.

http://www.popeater.com/2010/06/04/gary-coleman-funeral-canceled/

If you would like to read the 911 call put in by Shannon Price, you can CLICK on the LINK  BELOW.

http://www.popeater.com/2010/06/04/gary-coleman-funeral-canceled/

I will never forget watching her taking some award where she graciously stepped to the mic  to said a few words to the teacher who told her that she would never make it as an actress.  It is amazing the things we remember.

Of course like millions I too sat watching nights of  Golden Girls.  Who didn’t love ‘ma’  Estelle Getty…or  Dorothy her larger than life daughter.  And that ditizy Betty White… and that over-aged sex kitten Blanche.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/04/arts/04mcclanahan.html?src=me

I had a lover… someone I lived with for over 9 years who loved to watch television.  She stayed in front of  it.  And Golden Girls was one of  the shows in the evening she would tune in to.

So, of course, over time I became quite familiar with them all.  The sassy Blanche, the dim-wit Rose and   Ma… and Dorothy.

One by 1 they are slowly departing this place.  First Estelle Getty, then  Bea Arthur,  and Rue McClanahan and leaving Betty White.  All of them better known by their character names… Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia…the Golden Girls.

And then there was 1…

Early this week Rue passed too…leaving Betty White as the lone survivor of  their lively cast.

Betty is lively as ever…spunky… and I guess you can even say sassy at times too.  She is hard at work on another series… and really hasn’t stopped working since her Golden Girls days.

Today there are reality shows… and shows about people trying to win a million dollars.  It all became so boring to me that I stopped watching TV a while ago.  And truthfully… I have not missed it.  Besides, as an adult person my schedule is way too busy for me to be sitting down and watching television.

Didn’t intend to write so much.  Now, I have a movie that I want to watch.

So, you have a good night… and a beautiful day tomorrow.

Update Saturday, June 5th:  I awoke this morning having left my son’s laptop up on some news items on the oil spill in the Gulf.  Listening to it… 1 news broadcast on the oil spill after another… the impact of  the breath of  this oil spill has finally really hit home to me.

The British people in the upper level of  BP really were such big liars.  They lied about everything… saying that they had it contained…that it was not going to hit the shores…and that it would not impact the local environment.   In the beginning that BP top guy was passing the buck of  responsibility on to someone else… some other company… and that it was not their oil rig at fault.  Their oil rig that had failed to have all the safety measures that by law they should have had in place. Yet other lies by BP.

Now, the oil slick has hit Florida and is on its way out into the Atlantic Ocean if  the clean up  doesn’t speed up and can’t contain it any better than BP already has.   It all makes me think about the Republican Convention during McCains’ run for the Presidency against Obama.  Where they walked around with ton of signs and cries of-

“Drill, baby…drill,” could be heard all over that convention floor.  The Republicans were excited about going out and digging more oil rigs… even stating that they would go into protected environmental areas to do so.

This is the video new items that awoke to.  And believe it became crystal clear to me that what is going on in the Gulf of Mexico right now is surely going to impact us all.

http://video.pbs.org/video/1499276788

It seems to me that we should all be boycotting BP gas stations.  And it is upsetting to me that this company is not even an American company.

How is it that a British oil company owns oil rigs in our own home waters… while we are seeking oil from foreign shores of countries such as those in the Middle East?

If we have oil right here in America then we should be producing it and controlling it for our own use.  And particularly since these oil rigs are so dangerous and can impact us in such a way as this gushing BP oil rig in the middle of  the Gulf of  Mexico.

Yes, I am advocating that we all boycott BP…it is time that they started feeling it in their pocketbook.  Perhaps then BP might realize that they can’t come into America and treat Americans any kind of way…or endanger us without a hefty price.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37463005/ns/disaster_in_the_gulf

God bless.

THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2010

Add a comment June 5, 2010

Gary Coleman passing… Parenting and those who claim to know…

I have long held that most of the supposed authorities giving out information on how to treat, displine and handle your children…are really a bunch of  people who do not know what they are talking about.

Now, today I happen to come across this article…which…

http://www.parentdish.com/2010/05/24/opinion-im-in-favor-of-my-daughter-dropping-out-of-high-school/?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl3|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parentdish.com%2F2010%2F05%2F24%2Fopinion-im-in-favor-of-my-daughter-dropping-out-of-high-school%2F

Well, it proves my point.

The above LINK to the article is written by a mother who states that she is a Professor at some big time university…where she and her husband taught.  And I say ‘taught’…because he is now deceased, but she still teaches there…wherever it is.

Probably in New York…or at  Yale…or some place.    Some place like NYU…or Harvard…M.I.T.   Or Georgetown…or Princeton.  But I bet you it is somewhere on the East Coast.  Somewhere near Greenwich… or out in the Hamptons.

And I tell you why.

In this woman’s article…this Professor… she states that she told her daughter that it was okay for her to drop out of school.

Yes, I did say that.  This she plainly states in her article where she says that she told her daughter, who wanted to drop out of high school…that it was okay to do so.  In fact in the article the woman states this….”school wasn’t working for her.  So, I even encouraged her to drop out.”

The so-called ‘parenting expert’ also states in her article that she is the author of numerous books on parenting.

Now, do you get my point?

For some years now these so-called ‘parenting experts’ have been telling this country how to care, chastize, woo and cuddle their child.  Most of  them mind you have never even had a child yet they sit around articulating on various talk shows, radio programs and in new articles how ‘we’…real parents should care for our children, and their discipline.

They are the ones responsible for why laws were written about what types of discipline are and are not allowable or acceptable.  Laws which have given way to some of the most unruly children to walk the face of  this earth.  Many have no matters…and some even lack basic unbringing.

I am not, however, critiquing or criticizing all children or teens…or anyone outside of  this mother who happens to claim that she is an expert in this matter.   Clearly something is wrong with the picture of ‘child/parent relationships’ today.  And this corrupted picture basically has stemmed from a lot of  very bad advice from a bunch of  people running around who nothing about children.  And neither do most of them had any children of  their own…or like this woman who wrote the above article…they failed to be able to control their own children.

So, they give in to them…and up on them.

What parent in their right mind is going tell their child in these days and times…or in past times that its okay to drop out of  high school?

No one.  None of  them did.  Though in past times many children did not have the leisure of  pursuing a full education based upon family demands.  But these days have changed and so has the criteria to be capable and compedent to be a part of  today’s work force.  It has grown and gotten much higher.  You need more education today…more than ever before.  And particularly if you want what is called a good job…and higher pay.

Evidently, this woman is either very rich… or she has heavily insured her daughter and plans for some type of accident.  Because either that or she must be planning on taking care of  her daughter some how for the rest of  her life.  Because without a college education…and many times  above… her daughter’s life is going to become very hard.

Anyone who does not have an appropriate education today is as good as doomed.  There is no about it…or buts about it.  Everybody can’t go to Hollywood and become the next $20 million movie star…or make mega making music song deals.

I am sure that that this woman’s daughter is never going to be the next Whitney Houston or Barbara Streisand.  Her daughter doesn’t stand a chance unless her mother has some money.  It is highly unlikely that this woman’s daughter will succeed at much of anything if  her mother’s attitude has always been-

“Oh, well if you can’t do it that’s okay.  Just quit.”

What parent tells their child that?

What do these so-called experts know?

People who want their child or children to succeed in life push them.  They push them to get up in morning…to make their beds… to clean their rooms… to brush their teeth… to comb their hair… to take a bath…etc.   Parent’s push their children…and after a while the hope is our children will start pushing themselves.  They must learn to get up…and make their way in life.  They have to learn to  clean their rooms on occasions… and how to take a bath and brush their teeth…and comb their hair without anyone having to push them.

And I do not mean by being mean and cruel to your children…or be overbearing in your desires for your children.  No, not in that way…where the children come to dispise  you because all you care about is that “A” or the winning of  the ball game.  No, not at all like that.  But the kind of pushing that parents must do in order to get their children up and going…and to engage them in life.

It is called ‘growth and development.’

We grow…and develop over time.  I am sure that over time even I have grown in the writing of  these blogs.  My first blogs are nothing like they are now…be it in their overall appearance…content…the amount of time I spend on creating them…and my total effort in doing them.  I have grown…and so have they.

But I learned how to grow through my parents pressuring me to always do my best…and to never give up.  Needless to say…I didn’t always like it…but it worked.  Speaking of which…when my son spent 4 years in 9th grade…

Yes, I did say 4 years in 9th grade.  I told him this-

“I don’t care how long it takes you to finish high school. You can sit there until you get old and grey if you want to.  But you are going to stay there until you finish or until somebody walks up to you and taps you on the shoulders to tell you to get out.  But you are going to stay there until then.”

And I meant every word of it.

It was not that my son was a bad child.  But he was a social butterfly.  I sat in on many of  his classes just to ensure that he was doing his doing what he was suppose to be doing in school.   And I often travelled in from New York… getting off the inter-state bus to catch a city bus to the whatever school he was at.

If  you want your children to succeed you have got to commit yourself to their success.  And you have to do it without surrendering.  I never surrendered.  Today my son is very successful.  He successfully finished high school and then went on from there.  Today  he makes lots of money doing what he loves.  But it did not come with me giving up  on him or giving in to him.

It takes education to end up in life doing what you love.  Must people work doing what they have to…and oftentimes doing something that hate (and that is many times  regardless of  their education if  they chose to study something just for the money).  But those who are educated can pick and choose what it is that they want to do…and at what price.  That is the beauty and difference that education can make.

This is not to say, however, that only people with good education succeed.  Because there are many examples today and yesterday that prove that point as well.  But, however, that road is not an easy one… and it becomes complicated with a lot of ‘no’s’…and plently of road blocks.

During the last year of  my son’s 4th year in 9th grade whenever he asked me for anything I would just merely say-

“Four years-9th grade.”

That ended any further discussion about whatever it was that he was asking me for.  Oh, how I loved that time…I did not buy one single thing for him that was not a need.  He asked me for new pair of $100 sneakers…he asked me for a beeper…he asked me for all kinds of  things.  But he got none of them… no Christmas gifts…birthday gifts…nothing.  Nothing…not that I would have bought him a beeper or  spent $100 on a pair of sneakers anyways.  But I still remember his face when I would say that to him…4 years-9th grade.   But he made it out of  9th grade.  And from that point on he began making the honor roll.

It took some time but it got there.  It hit home… my saying that to him.  It must have given him pause to sit back and think about the time he was wasting.  He had thought of school as a fun place not a learning place.  It is alright to have fun in school, but not whern it disrupts others…or hinders your learning…or that of those around you.  My son did not hinder others…he just was busy not doing his work.

But after that first time of making it onto honor roll there was such a shift in my son’s attitude towards his school work.  He started taking pride in himself and his school work.  He even began to brag that he was the smartest boy in his class.  And from that first moment on the honor roll he just kept on out performing all of them…because it felt better than sitting in school doing nothing…and everybody now looking up to him, and asking him to help them.

At the end of the day no child wants to do anything.  I know I didn’t.  We would have all rathered to have sat before the TV all day watching cartoons or drawing and coloring on paper…where as today’s kids play all kinds of computer games…game boy and things like that.  And if  they could they would never set it down… or go to school if their parents let them.

So, enter this woman…who I guess is proud…  Well, she states that she is proud.  She feels that she has done some great thing by telling to her daughter to quit school.  I would beg to differ.

And just like I said when I started this blog.  It just goes to prove all along what I have always believed about these so-called ‘child experts.’   They do not have a clue.  And nobody should be listening to them.

And before I forget…the reason I said that the woman (the mother) was probably some Professor from NYU or some other North Eastern college, was because her view seemed to be quite East Coast liberal.  It was…or is quite liberal, which I think is how a lot of former flower children/hippy…or should I say ex-hippy…or ex-flower children liberal Eastern Professors think.   And particularly if  they have money…or come from families with money.

If you have money then it really doesn’t matter.  You can say something dumb like tell your child to go ahead and just drop out.  Because you have the finances to provide and care for that child for the rest of  his or her life.  And being that this woman has a daughter…   Then she can do it right up until the time her daughter gets married.

Well, I was wrong…the woman who wrote the article teaches at some school in California.

But the point that made the whole article ridiculous for me was the fact that the woman…this ‘child/parenting expert’ was proud of  herself  for telling her daughter she should just drop out of  high school.  This she told her daughter because her daughter wasn’t doing well, and she didn’t like school.

Boy, if ever parent thought like this woman more than 3/4 of the school population would no longer be attending school.

What child doesn’t think that they hate school?

I didn’t…but that is beside the point.  I guess I would be part of  1/4 attending school.  But I don’t think I would really count.  Because I only liked school because it got me out of the house and away from my sisters and brothers.  When you are the oldest of  8 siblings…you fall in love with school real quick.

Now, back to this woman who wrote the article…this supposedly well educated woman…a woman of  letters… having a doctorate in her field…which in turn gave way to her the claim to proclaim herself an expert in the first place.  And this woman also writes books telling parents what to do concerning their children.

Real parents stand up.  You better take those books by these  so-called experts and throw them into your incinerator.  Because clearly this woman doesn’t know what she is talking about.  She doesn’t even have a clue.  Her head must be stuck in the ground.  And her hand is definitely not on the pulse of  what is important in the real world.

And she teaches college students?????

If  your child is going to succeed…they will need to be educated.  And I hope that whoever your child is…I hope they are not in any of  this woman’s classes.

Throughout history the levels of  man’s success has  always been measured and linked to his hard work and level of  education.  And education has always set the standard for the classes…separating  those who have juxtapose to those who have not.

Now, on to Gary Coleman. 

While listening to Bev Smith last night on her late-night radio talk show over the internet, I heard that Gary had been emitted into the hospital and was in intensive care.

If ever you have considered getting your child involved in the entertainment business Gary Coleman’s life is definitely one which should give you pause and is worthy of  another consideration.

If ever there was a group of child stars who did not fare well it was the group of child stars that appeared on the show with Gary Coleman.  We all remember “Diff’ rent Strokes.”    It ran all the way up until Arnold began to turn old before our very eyes…and therein laid his delima.

Size-wise he never grew much but his feature stopped ceasing to be as cute and lovable…I guess you could say.  Which I have no doubt had a lot to do with his medication and kidney problem.  But then too there were those storylines.  They got to where they were just plain dumb.  And so the show over time lost its appeal and audience.

But there was something going on in the background.  Drugs came into their midst.  Then drinking added to the drugging.  But we never could tell…least ways I couldn’t.  But it affected the lives of  the 2 other child stars on the show…more so than it did Gary.

Todd Bridges who was always good-looking, along with Dana plato all became sister and brothers. Willis…the character that Todd played on the show, was supposedly Arnold’s real brother, who both end up being adopted into the rich Drummon family.  Where Dana, Kimberly Drummond on the show, becomes their sister.  Todd later reported that he and Dana experimented with drugs together while working on the show.

Dana later becomes pregnant by some boyfriend and got fired from the show.  Like Gary Coleman, she too was adopted.  And from articles that I have read…the woman who adopted her was hungry for money and really never cared much for the child otherwise.

Dana’s life like Willis’ and Gary’s was sad following the end of  their years as stars on Diff’rent Strokes.  Down and out Dana moved to Vegas with her baby.  She found herself  in a beat-up trailer park…and one day steped into a video store to rob it with a gun…got  jail time…and she later died of an overdose.

Like Willis, Dana was probably the product of  child abuse.  She had the typical scars of  a sexually abused child.  Following her departure from Diff’rent Strokes she posed nude in a layout in Playboy…and later turned to staring in pronography.

Willis’ inner demons began to plague him following a friend of  his father taking advantage of  him sexually as a very young kid.  Years later he found himself suffering from anger management, drinking and problems with drugs…and doing time in jail on weapons charges.

Dana at the age of  14 was already drinking and drugging long before she hit the set of  Diff’rent Strokes.  It is amazing that watching them you would have never guessed any of  the inner turmoils in any of their lives.

No one can ever tell me about the demons which chase children long after the abuse stops.  What a different life and end she might have had.

Arnold…or Gary suffered with kidney problems…a problem which attributed to the lack of  his growth in stature.  And he also became a very angry man as the years went by.  Often he was dragged into court stemming from incidents where he hit or punched a fan.

He was no longer that cute or funny little child star…but a little short man…out of work and turned against his then family.  His adoptive parents he took to court claiming that they had robbed him.

Though he tried at different ventures…everything failed.  And for a very brief time he even tried to pursue a college education…but that too failed.

Whenever his name came up in the news you always wondered who he had hit next?

It seemed that the whole world had turned against him…and he against it.

I think the one shinning moment through those years was when he and Willis teamed up on a movie showcasing their lives and the turmoil that followed after Diff’rent Strokes was ended.  I have no doubt that that movie will pop up somewhere now that at the age of 42 Gary Coleman is gone.

http://www.popeater.com/2010/05/28/gary-coleman-dead/?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl1|link1|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.popeater.com%2F2010%2F05%2F28%2Fgary-coleman-dead%2F

http://news.puggal.com/dana-plato-playboy-june-1989-39038/

Willis…or Todd which is his real name… has since gotten his life back on track.  And often I have heard him talking about God in his life.  I hear that he has a re-occuring role on a soap opera.  I certainly wish the continued best for him…along with his continued growth in the Lord.

Yesterday I spent most of my morning resting for my afternoon studio shoot.  About 1 o’clock I was up and rushing.  But by the end of the night I was tired… but quite satisfied.  I had gotten most of what I wanted… and everybody who said that they would…  Well, they showed up.

Now, I am on my way with that.  And I feel good.

And in case you are wondering why I have not said anything about my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, lately.   Well, for one thing I was hoping to be in New York promoting my book at the Book Expo America this week.  And since you know I was in the studio shooting footage last night…  So, you know that that didn’t happen…no me and New York City this week.

The other thing that happened…and perhaps you have experienced this.  My flash drive  died.  It CRASHED…and I had all most all of  website files on it.  And I do mean it  crashed…and I had failed to back-up those files anywhere else.

So, for the past 2 weeks I have been praying over my flash drive…and continuously sticking into this computer and that computer hoping  for just anything to happen.  But it has not.  So, I have been trying not to think about.

What good would it do for me to get all upset over it?

None.

Because like you may have…I have learned this lesson more than once.  And yet I continue to do it.

I never save anything on a back-up.  And dealing with computers…which are very tempermental…you are taking a large risk if you don’t back-up everything someplace else.

And so…I have learned that lesson again.  But I think that this time is the last time.

Enjoy your night and have a beautiful day tomorrow…and Monday, Memorial Day.  I am going to try and get some sleep now.

Tempertures here are climbing again.  And it has been real hot here.  Better pull out the sprinkler if you don’t have a pool…get yourself some Italian ice.  I love them…and popsickles too.

Oh, yes…

Today while waiting on bus.  I was joined by some high school seniors in their caps and gowns.  And they looked beautiful…and their was an air of  excitement and happiness in each of  their eyes, as well as, upon their faces.

And I just had to compliment them on their achievements, and tell them how well and beautiful they all looked.

It was beautiful.

The weekend before last we were in Jersey at Drew University cheering for my brother as he walked across the stage accepting his doctorate degree.  This past weekend a niece and cousin graduated from college.  And this coming coming Wednesday another niece will be graduating from college.

My parent’s children are all growing up…and our family is expanding in many different ways.  In our growth and knowledge of the Lord…in our family size…and in our educational knowledge.  My partents time and efforts were vested well.

So, it has been busy around here with all the graduations.  All of the graduation receptions…and all of the tears of pride and joy…and happiness for them.  Hope you have had the opportunity to do the same.  And if not this year maybe next.  But it does not come with people giving up…or parents telling their children its okay you can just quit and drop out of school.

What a road map for desaster.

And…God bless.

THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2010

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Add a comment May 29, 2010

Black History Month…fakes…and the church…

Now I know that it is Black History Month and that I have been kind of quiet for this month.  But I now no longer write a blog…and I guess this is true too for the earlier ones as well…unless I really have something to say.  So, I guess it was that I just had more to say on things earlier when I initially started blogging then I now do…which is why I wrote them more often then. 

But I am nonetheless highly opinoinated…I guess you might be able to tell that.  So, while I was kicking up my heels and waiting on something to come in the mail…while searching over the web I came across this video and…and… Well, it has stirred  me to write something.

Knowing that I am saved…as I am sure that you must know by now.  Least ways I hope you have gathered that.  I would like to think that my light is shinning in everything I have written over this site.  And of course…my being being saved is not a state that I have always been….but it has been so  for a few years now.

Most recently God spoke into my heart to not sit back and keep quiet on everything.  So, thus…I speak on some things when moviated by a strong opinion regarding that subject or thing which sparks me to do so.

Now, having said that I could not see this video clip without commenting on it.  I believe in truth…and hate any form of mis-information.  Some people really hold onto things that people tell them…and they take it for truth when it is very much not.  And very far from it.

You view this video and you tell me what you think.

There is a folley is loving  yourself  too much.  And believing that you know all the answers…and particularly when you think that the mis-information that you dish out is correct.

There is no way that partying in the form as is expressed in the above video is correct.  And to refer to when David danced…and compare it to a ‘male stripper’  is insane.

But the devil’s children know scripture…they are great deceivers who love to call upon the Word of the Lord to make their points. 

In downtown Brooklyn near Fulton Street and Flatbush Avenue …it is not uncommon to see and hear the 5 percenter’s…or the 10 percenters…or the 12 tribes of  Israel…or whatever they call themselves.  It is a group of  about 5 to 8 black guys dressed in olden day garments…as in the anicent times of  Moses…standing on soap boxes (milk crates) chanting about their god…and refering to the Bible as a means of discrediting Jesus and Biblical text. 

Whenever I heard  them saying stuff that was wrong…and though I didn’t know the Bible and certainly not any of  its Biblical texts…but I grew up in church.   So, I always felt that someone in those crowds…and there was always a crowd gathered around them as they spoke.  I just felt that someone should have challenged them…and countered them.  Somebody had to know scripture…so that they could have said something…but no one ever did.  So, day after day…those guys stood out there on the corner of  downtown Brooklyn dispelling lies…and falsehoods without any correction.

I now have learned a few things…not as much as most…but even so I refuse to let anything I see or hear and know that it is wrong go without me saying something.  I just cannot.

Hence, my response to the above video by this young woman named Ty Adams.  I have seen a few other videos of  her’s over the internet…and know that she considers herself to be a Christian lecturer, teacher, conference speaker…and I guess you could say possibly even some kind of  ‘life coach’ on relationships. 

To top it off she calls herself…’Dr Ty.’   There are a lot people in the church today who have given themselves this  title…doctor.  Guess it sounds good to their ears.  Juanita Bynum along with a few others…have done so as well.  But when you go to read their bio info there is no mention of an institution to go along with their title.  They just like the way it sounds…and to some degree it elevates them to a higher status…adds more credibility or something.

Yet, in the church  you will hear them say…‘it’s not all about titles.’   But it seems that everybody wants one.  Christina Glenn claims she earned her’s in some collage in India…I just had to look it up.  And if  push comes to shove…you can always buy one…there are plenty of  services that will sell you a doctorate title…which is more like ‘give you one’…if you get that hard pressed for  to have one.

But going back to sister Ty. 

How in the world can anyone be paying this woman to come to their converence looking…and dressing…and talking as she talks?

There is no such thing as a ‘saved club.’   And yes…clubs are something which the kids of  that other guy…not God’s kids…or followers of  Jesus created.  Club are dens of  iniquity.  The purpose for clubs is for sinners to gather like Christians go to church.  But instead of worshipping and praising God…sinners go in to clubs to sin.  They go looking for sexual partners…somebody to rub up against…somebody who can dance and make them look good.  It is a place where they can drink and carry on…and have all kinds of  loose and ungodly conversations while listening to ungodly music. 

I know all about clubs because I owned one…it was a lesbian club…but I owned it nevertheless.

Tell me what real church song can you get up and slow drag to?

And clubs have almost always been for single people…somebody looking for somebody.  Because most people who have somebody do not frequent clubs regularly.  And do not want to hear that their husbands or wives are…because everybody knows what goes on in clubs…and why people seek them out.

So, then why would this ‘new group’ of  so-called saints call it alright to party…and hangout at a club?

Because they have leaned to their own understanding.

 There are some things that some people are just not willing to give up.  They want to cuss and everything else…take a look at these videos below.

One of the worst things that could have happened for some of  these co-called preachers and teachers…is their decision to get into media…and put their ministry where the world can view them…so we can all see and hear them for ourselves…and come to know who is or who is not of  Christ.

One of the biggest jokes…and it is really not funny.   But it  is the River Church in Durham, NC…where Sheryl Brady’s husband…bishop whatever his name is…can be seen turning their church service  into a 3 ring circus from Sunday to Sunday…and I guess in whatever other services they may have. 

Who wouldn’t go to a church where the pastor pulls out a thick wad of  hundred dollar bills every Sunday…passing them out like water.  Sometimes 3 and 4 of  them at a time while telling people to pull out their money and bless one another with it…as he ocassionaly calls someone up and starts handing out a few notes  of his own.  But never the whole thing…just enough to entice his membership.

How many ink pens have you owned?

And how many of them have gotten away from you…got lost or somehow walked away from you?

Aren’t you glad it wasn’t a $5,000 pen?

What is happening to the church?

Preachers are not acting like preachers any more. 

What is happening to us?

Most recently I myself  had a run in with a preacher.  He is currently the pastor of our church.   I had noticed that he began to act a little bit too friendly towards me.  While trying my best to stay away from him…he became more aggressive….blatant in fact in his actions.

When I thought I had worked out the perfect plan…this guy…the pastor…and I refuse to call him ‘our’ pastor.  Well, this guy always seemed to be one step ahead of me.

When I told my son to give me the keys to the car so I could sneak out of  church just before service ended…wouldn’t you know it…here comes the guy down the center aisle of  the church.  It was just before he was to get up and preach…and he came down the center aisle stopping at me.  He bent down and rested his forehead against mine with his nose touching mine…as if we were alone and in bed together.

I was…I was totally shocked…dismayed…and angered by it.  How dare this guy embarrass me like that.  I was fuming…and I was so for weeks upon weeks.  I could not believe such a thing had happened…and right there in the midst of  the whole church while service was going on.

My son kept telling me that I was reading too much in it.

“Awh, ma…he does that with everybody.”

YEAH…right.

And if  he did…then he was out of order then too…and somebody should have told him so long ago.`

How can people sit in church and allow their pastors to do whatever it is that they want without anyone questioning him or challenging him or her on it?

I had  just started returning back to this church after being away…after living out of  town for years.  I had never really cared for this man because he had utterly destroyed our church…and everbody who hadn’t died had left it.  The church was down to just about 8 members now…and my family was the only remnant left in it.  And now I could understand why…clearly this preacher had over stepped his boundary…not just with me but with many others.

So following the forehead thing… I stopped going to church for a while…but God spoke into my heart and told me that I could not stop going to church…nor to allow satan to chase me out of  church.  So, I went back.

And this time the preacher…again before he was to preach…he came down out of  the pulpit and started walking down along the one side of  the church as if  he were walking to the rear of the church.  He stopped…and entered into my aisle where he soon took a seat right beside me and commenced to ask me for my phone number.  I almost exploded.  I got loud for a second then remembered that I was  still in church.  Then I took the piece of paper wrote it and turned away from the man…trying to ignor him as he said something else to me. 

He did try to call me at least once…but I never answered.  Finally, when I went to church again…just as he got up to begin preaching he stopped and began talking about how he had been trying to reach me.  This mind you from the pulpit.  I was livid.

Now, this was too much.  This guy was beside himself and he wasn’t even trying to hide it.  Funny, I am just now thinking of  it…but this guy was stalking me.  I could barely go into church without him doing something to embarrass me.

I went on and on for weeks about this guy…verbally voicing my anger about it.   I know my son must have grown tired of  hearing me complaining about this preacher and his poor behavior…but  I could not help it.  

First of  all…this man was and is  in his seventies…and though his wife was ill she was still very much alive.  But I would not have wanted him regardless…as this man had known me since I  was a kid.  And I felt this whole thing was not only an insult to me…but to the memory of  my parents.

Finally a few weeks ago I had an opportunity to confront this preacher…it was over something involving another issue…but sooner or later he was going to hear from me regarding the matter because it was eating at me.  At that time I did not fail at the end of  our discourse to tell  him just how I felt about  him putting  his  nasty forehead to mind and chasing behind me like he was some kind of  dog in heat.  Well, I didn’t quite say it that way…but I said it and got it off my chest any how.  And I have not had to worry about him since…and it still feels good.

Anybody seeing any or all of that would have assumed that he and I had a relationship going on…and nothing could have been further from the truth.  I do not know what could have  possibly possessed him…and given him the idea that he could do such a thing to me…but he was definitely coming on strong.  And the sheer thought of  it made me sick to my absolute  stomach.

Something has definitely happened to the church.  It is doing something that my father called…‘going backwards instead of going frontward.’   The holy ground that the church once had…that it possessed and stood on…it is rapidly lossing.  Too much of the changing times…excepting everything…and wanting to incorporate too many things of  the world is pulling at the very fabric of  the church.  We are going backward…and lossing too much solid ground in the process.

Where are teachers and preachers who taught this stuff  the way it used to be taught?

Since alot of  people having been hitting this site to read about Ruby Dee lately…I can only assume that it has a lot to do with Academy Awards.  I had read that she had gotten the nod for a nomination for a possible Oscar.  Now that would have been nice, but I did not find her name anywhere on the list of  Academy Nominees.

http://www.oscars.org/awards/academyawards/82/nominees.html

http://oscar.go.com/

http://www.oscars.org/awards/academyawards/index.html

It cannot be argued that Ruby Dee is an actor’s actor.  She along with a long  list of  outstanding black men and women certainly can be labelled ‘fine craftsmen’ in their art form…having worked in both stage and screen quietly for many years. 

I often think of  Lena Horne…or a Hattie McDaniel when I think of really great women actors or performers. ..like Paul Robeson…as well as Ruby Dee and others.  I would have loved to have casted some of  them in one of  my films. 

In case any of  you are a budding screenwriter…here is the link for the Nicholl’s Fellowship which deadline is April 1st.    And if you can’t get it together to submit something this year keep the link for next year…as it is an annual thing.  You can hit the link to find out all the details.  http://www.oscars.org/awards/nicholl/apply.html

Well, hope that you have enjoyed Black History Month…and learned as much as you could about some these men and woman who have melted away into our  past…but should always be celebrated and their lives…work…and struggles always  remind us of  just how blessed we are…because of  them.

And since I am ending on this note…on films and actors.  I hated ‘Precious’ the movie.   I found a lot of  errors in that movie…technical stuff  that was just hard to overlook.  For 1…and I will just point out 1 thing only.  Did you notice that Precious and her mother lived in an apartment building?

Then how in the world did they end up with an upstairs and downstairs in their apartment?

It was not like they were living the penthouse of  some exclusive building.

And the music was all wrong…and a lot of  other stuff.  Okay…I said 1.  But I just had to try and sneak that in.

But I did like Gabby, the young actor who played Precious.  I however did not feel that the script was the very best.  And though Mo’que really…really…really played her part.  And she truly did…but I would hate to see an Oscar go to her. 

I just don’t think we should celebrate that kind of  mother.  And there are women who are just like that to their children…and they never ever should be celebrated on any level.

Speaking of  Mo’que while checking on something over the internet I happened to come across a note…that Mo’que herself  had been a victim of  incest…having been taken advantage of  by  her own brother.  That story is in a past issue of   Essence…October 2008 issue.

http://www.missxpose.com/2008/09/monique-xposed-comedian-reveals-sexual-abuse-in-essence/

I had  to shovel snow 3 times this week.  One day twice…and it had me laid up for most of the week.  But since those 2 days it has mostly been rain…and thank goodness.   Because if  it had been snow…the way it has been raining…night and day…they would have had to have flown somebody in here to dig us all out.  We would have been buried under it.

But I have been on top of  my Cream of  Wheat and taking my iron tablets.   And  the house amazingly hasn’t been too cold…praise the Lord.

But it  is all good.  

Hope you had a good week. 

I really  really love winter…it  is  so beautiful. 

Next year I will have me a husband…somebody who can go out and shovel snow with me.  Somebody I can hit with a snowball or 2…and then go in and cuddle with. 

Now, that would be so nice.  And we could drink hot chocolate and talk about how the Republicans keep trying to hinder Obama by blocking everything that he is trying to do.

And then we’ll put in a movie..and call it a day.  But not before we pray.

God bless…

Thirthy inches of snow in New York City.  Oh, wow…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2010

 THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.  You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card.  Thank you. 

1 comment February 26, 2010

Winter and the snow… PUSH….SAPPHIRE …the movie ‘PRECIOUS’

Well, Mother Nature has stepped in and this time she made her welcome known.  It  was loud and clear…and I was so surprised when I looked out and saw it.   It was all white and covered the ground, and everything else that was out there.

We had gotten some snow before…came overnight.  And by morning it was gone.  But not this time. 

I woke up early…the house was cold…but not overly.  But I knew when I glanced out the kitchen what it was that I was going to have to do.  So, I did it.

I pulled out some clothes and got dress…bundled up, wrapped my scraf around my neck, put on my socks, stuck my feet in my Tim’s and proceeded outside…to shovel snow.

So, now you know how I spent my day yesterday.  Well, the early part of it.  Because I ended up shoveling not only my parent’s sidewalk but our neighbor…when I saw him come out with his cruchets due to an injury he suffered last winter when he slipped and fell.

He was on his way to physical therapy…and told me that he could do it.  But I knew better than that.   So, I just gave him a hand…cleared his steps and then his sidewalk and part of his driveway so he could get to his car

But I did it.   And by the time I was through…I just went back into the house and crawled back  into bed. 

Hope you had a beautiful day…and are enjoying your winter weather.

And oh, yes….

I happened to see the movie ‘Precious’ sometime this past weekend.

I really didn’t care for it too much.  I found it lacking in may ways.   And I never really connected with Precious. 

I am one of those people who cries at everything.  Graduations…weddings…even during commercials…truly.   But I never shed one tear over that movie or anyone in it.  But came  close to feeling more compassion for the Mo’nique character than her daughter.   And that never should have been.

It may have been a script problem…but I think it was a directing problem.  Even though Lee Daniels, the director of the movie, may well be gay…he can never get to what women feel.   Our emotions are too involved.  We are complicated in ways that men just cannot understand.  He never found the essence of Precious or her pain…her feelings on any level about being abused…sexually tormented by both her mother and father…and the mother part of it never really comes across the screen.  Nor her having to bare two children by her father…ending up with AIDS…given to her by her father…and all this while her mother stood by watching it happen.  And then seeking out sexual acts from Precious as well.

Lee totally missed the mark.  But I never liked ‘Monster’s Ball’ either….that was another disaster.   Which was also a film by Lee Daniels.

Well, so much for my movie reviews.  But I make movies…I see them different from you.  I see the lighting…    And oh….yeah….

One big gaffe in the film.   How do you live in an apartment building….a five or six story walk-up…and when they shoot the interior of your apartment —you have an up and downstairs inside?

That might have been if  Precious and her mother had lived in a penthouse somewhere.  But not in the projects.

So, that really got me.  the exterior shots of their building a ‘very’ ghetto apartment complex…while the interior of their apartment was really shot in a brownstone apartment building.

And the music was all wrong…very much wrong.   Well, I guess I have rant long enough.

It is just that I think abuse on any level is a serious subject.  But Lee Daniels made a mockery of the very insane and spiteful abuse Precious had to endure.   And particularly since Sapphire had written such a horriffic, demoralizing  and tradgic story…”PUSH.”

Then one of  my neices told me that all the fat and dark skinned girls in her school are being teased and called ‘Precious’  by the boys in her  school.  And I think that is sad…and really points back to what I was saying.

Lee Daniels failed to make anyone feel any sympathy for Precious.  I never once felt sympathy for her…and I know I should have.  But what saddened me was to know that in real life children daily are treated as badly and worst by those who are suppose to love them…and to care and protect them.

Children are precious…and we all should do all that we can to assist and protect them.  And show them as much kindness as we possibly can…even when we cannot understand them.  Because it is those kids which probably need it the most.

Definitely hope that you had a great  Thanksgiving.  I did and I am still enjoying it.  If  I say so myself…and there were many who the very same observation…

“I really made some great apple pies this year.”

But everything was great…tons of  food…cakes and pies for everyone.  But it all gets down to that turkey and dressing…wow…wow…   In fact, I think I will make me a turkey sandwich when I get finish with this blog. 

Well, God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2009

  THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.  You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card.  Thank you. 

Add a comment December 10, 2009

Prostitutes…the young and the heartless…. 15 minutes…

By now you may or may not know that I am highly repulsed by some of the things that teens today are doing.  But this really turned my stomach…it is a story which came up over CNN.com regarding 2 Arizona teenaged girls who turned themselves into prostitutes then  set about pimping other girls.  

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/25/teen.pimp/index.html

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/02/25/teen.pimp/index.html#cnnSTCVideo

The grandmother is outraged…but there is only one problem.  She doesn’t believe that her little darling is guilty of such a crime…and so therefore she is anxiously awaiting her day in court.  Perhaps it is not the little darling but the grandmother who should be up before the judge.  And dare I ask…what of the mother and father of this child…these 2 girls?

How is it that they would put themselves into such a situation?

How could 2 high schoolers get themselves into such as situation…where they were indulged in such a business as prostitution?  

And had other school mates working the streets too?

Two 16 year old girls…involved in sex for hire?

Madams?

Though the article called them ‘pimps.’  

What could be going on?

 I am sick to my stomach today…I hate reading these kinds of stories.  

Can you imagine…that that man operated a day care center? 

How old were his victims?  

Three?  

Four…or maybe 2?  

….my God.     

I am truly sick to my stomach.

In a 29 city weekend sweep law enforcement officials arrested more than 500 people involved in a child and adult prostitution ring.  They had some 48  juveniles, 464 adult prostitutes…and how many of them do you think had been children before becoming of age?

They arrested 55 co-called pimps…with many more out there somewhere.   And some just like those young girls in Arizona anxious to take their place.  I can think of nothing I feel is worst…than turning children into prostitutes…and ruining the lives of children.  There are some things which I think we should not even waste tax-payers money on…such as taking certain people through the judical system.  Just lock them up in jail and throw away the keys.

 But the problem is…all the wrong people mostly end up in jail.  The crooks and criminals somehow always seem to get less time or little to no prison time at all.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,498287,00.html

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/02/23/national/main4821772.shtml?source=RSSattr=U.S._4821772

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/06/27/child.prostitution/index.html

There is something about these kinds of stories that just turns my stomach.  Perhaps it is because I am a supposed survivor.  I don’t know.   I just hate these type of stories.  I hate to hear about children being abused…or used in such ways as these.  Or children because they had been abused continue the cycle of abuse in their lives.

When I was trying to determine what I wanted to do with my life…you know…the kind of things you think about as a child.

“What do I want to be?”

I had read this book called “The Throw away Children.”

The stories in that book were terrible.  I don’t believe any child is a throw away…or should be considered as such.  But there are some children deemed by society as not having the same value as some others.  And this is absolutely wrong.

So, as I thought about what it was I wanted to do I started discounting things.  Like…becoming a doctor.  I knew I would never be able to stand the sight of blood.  So, that was out.

Then I thought of some other things…and I discounted them too.  Can’t remember what they were…but I knew whatever they were I did not want to be them.  But I soon fell upon becoming a lawyer.  I wanted to do or be someone who would advantageous to my people…black people.  Something that we needed the most…that is why I thought doctor at first…then somehow came to lawyer.

And so I set about to make that happen.  When it was near time for me to enter into the 12th grade…I had already begun thinking about and applying to colleges…mostly black colleges…though I would have loved to have been accepted at University of California Berkley.  The Black Panthers were there…Angela Davis was there…the Soledad Brothers…  Yeah, that whole black thang was going on…and I wanted to be in the midst of it. 

But that book, ‘The Throw Away Children ‘ by  Lisa Aversa Richette…motivated me to want to become a criminal lawyer working in juvenile court.  It was at the time my desire.  I think because I have a passion for children…with particular children who feel lost and have no voice.

While I was a teacher in the high school system…I was often in tune and engaged in trying to encourage my students…as well as other students…some of which I would catch trying to sneak into my classes from time to time.  It was during my time as a teacher that I came to realize just how tough some kids really have it…and there is little wonder why they end up doing much of what they do. 

During the time I taught…I had never been aware of  just how many students were involved in the foster care system before.  For some children this was a great alternative to their own families…but for some (many)…it was not.  It seems that many people turn to become foster parents solely for the money.  And that is very sad.  They never see the greater reward…and that is pouring something of value into the lives of those children…by showing them love and kindness…paying attention to them.

Then there are those children which are left to grow up on their own.  They are like wild little animals…and many people observing them wonder why?  But if they knew where these kids lived…or how they were living…or under what circumstances…and what sexual and other abuses they were subject to…then they would know why the child was acting as he or she was acting.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2009/02/25/teacher_student_found_in_w_va/

I have no idea as to what is going on with these female teachers becoming involved with young grade school children.   It makes me sick…yes, to my stomach.  Because I can’t see what any grown woman…or for that matter…grown man would see or find interesting in a child.

I know that children become infatuated with their teachers.  I had my share of admirers.  I never realized it at the time…but later on I did in particular one.  He even proposed to me  time after time.  I never took any of it seriously…nor did I indulge him.  But after I had left the teaching profession…this boy began calling me in New York. 

I found out that he had gotten my number from my son.  I wasn’t overly concerned at first…but then he started calling every evening.  It did not frighten me…but I really wasn’t interested.  By this time I didn’t even think it was cute.  I could see that this boy really had an interest in me.  So, I just stopped answering his calls.  And I think he got the message.

What kind of conversation can I hold with a young boy?

Even one graduated from high school…come on, now.

In ’95, I went to L.A. to shop my screenplays.  I had forgotten all about Ojay and his trial…it was months after the shooting had happened.  So,  though when I used to ride the bus from Woodlawn Hills into downtown L.A and see all the remote TV trucks with their huge satellite dishes…tons of them sitting outside of that court.  But I didn’t at the time realize what I was looking at when the bus would drive pass.  It is so funny…because I used to think-

“Wow, there must be a big case going on in that court.”

And what made it even funnier…was that during the whole time of the Ojay case…I was glued to the TV.  I didn’t miss a beat…from day to day…I wast locked in and tuned to every episode of the Ojay Simpson trail saga until they signed off from day to day.

 But when I could not get an agent to represent me or my work…because everybody in L.A. is about who  you know…who referred you…who are you connected to.  And being connected was all they cared about.

It was like you talked to tons of people all in the right place…but if you couldn’t give a name and didn’t have any ties…the conversation stopped right there.  Years later, when I initially went into pre-production with my film, LIFE 101: da real skool…(which is where the 101 in my name comes from)…when I went into pre-production…I started getting all kinds of calls then talking about-

“Let’s do lunch.”

I hated L.A.  

I became so frustrated with L.A. that I decided to give up and not leave the hotel room anymore.   But my friend…whom I had gone to L.A. to spend some time with while her job had sent her there to audit some banks…she kept on encouraging me saying-

“So, what you couldn’t find an agent.  And nobody wanted to see you or read your scripts.  Go see a show or go to one of the movie lots.  You know that is what you are interested in.  So, go check it out.”

And finally, I did.  Only because she kept trying to cheer me up.

It is so funny…because you may not believe this.  The one day that I decided to go the night before I saw an expose on Prime Time or some show like that…about some male teacher who they tracked from New York to a motel down in Las Vegas.  He had taken some very young Jr. High School girl and ran off with her across country.  The television segment on the story was very detailed.

So, the next day, I visited Universal Studio’s movie lot…where a lot of television programs are shot.  At the time I arrived the only thing going in was the audience for the “Leeza Show.”   It wasn’t anything that I wanted but (well, because really I have never watched much television).  But…I was there…it didn’t cost anything…and they were letting people in.

When they tape these shows you never know what topics are going to be featured or discussed until the show begins taping.  To my surprise that guy…that teacher who had gone to Las Vegas with his little school student was the topic…and he was there.

I never went into that taping with any intentions of saying anything or being  a part of any program.  But it is very funny how things just seem to happen.

I sat quietly listening and watching taking in everything about the production…how they had someone warm up the audience before the show…the size of the studio…where the cameras were…all the people who worked in conjunction with the show…just the whole behind the scenes thing.  This is what interested me…but of course, I was also listening to all the  discussion and the questions coming up out of the audience.  But there was something that disturbed me.

As that teacher talked about the young girl…her family…and how he just felt sorry for her…how he was trying to help her out…etc…etc…   The audience all seemed sympathetic to him.   They were eating that garbage up like candy.  Here it was…and that girl was very pretty (and it doesn’t matter what she looked like…she was a kid)…he had engaged in sexual activity with this girl…had kidnapped her and taken her across state lines.  And they were all just sucking it in like he was some kind of hero…a divine saviour.

“Why wasn’t anybody looking at the whole picture?”

“Did he have any responsibility in this matter?”

“Hadn’t he taken advantage of that young girl?”

He was her teacher.  And as described on that expose show by other teachers who had also worked at  that school with him…he was a male teacher who was a little too friendly with many of the female students.

Between segments of the taping they would stop to allow for the commercial break time frame to countdown then resume with their taping.  At this time the program host would walk through the audience searching out the best questions to feature during the resumption of the program taping. 

Finally, the cameras went dead…and Leeza started walking through the audience looking for her next audience questiones.  She came up my aisle seeking for questions.  I wasn’t going to do it…but they had made me mad.  I put up my hand and Leeza walked over to me and said-

“Yes, do you have a question?”

And I said yes.

And she said, “Okay, what question would you like to ask?”

And I told her.   Evidently, Leeza liked my question because she did not move from me.  When the cameras came back up…she said what she had to say and asked me stand and ask my question.

Before I knew it…that guy and me where firing off against one another…and I was winning.  And I did win.

I had made him mad.  But I just could not stand it.  And he was nasciating to me.

He was a teacher.  He did not have any business…no matter what may have or may not have been going on in that girl’s life to become involved sexually with her.  She was an under age child…and he was a 30 or 40 year old man.  I didn’t care how he tried to justify it…there was no justification for it.  And how dare…anyone try to make a movie out of that story. 

Yes, he…that man…ex-teacher was out of jail walking around and making the television rounds because some production company had paid big money for the rights to his story.  This is why the world is in the state that it is in.  This is why many people are doing some of the craziest things…men killing their pregnan wives…teachers running off  with grade school children.  It is sick.

Everybody wants their 15 minutes of fame…and they are willing to do anything to get it.  It is truly sad.  When they see the TV coverage and movie…and book deals coming up out of these sick acts…people with copy cat mentalities figure…why not?

And what is sadder…is that there is a market for this.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/9271398/Report:-Haynesworth,-Redskins-reach-deal?MSNHPHMA

A guaranteed $41 million…included in his $100 million deal.  These guys make tons of money.  You would think that the people who really work for a living could earn at least a tiny portion of it.  It would look nice.

And Michael Vick is soon to be released from prison. 

Sometimes it takes losing something…even if it is for a little period of time to have an appreciation for it and other things…and to look back and reflect on your blessings. 

Not everybody gifted…or fast…or good at something gets a contract.  Millions dream such dreams whether it be a music deal…or a sports deal…a movie deal…whatever…they dream of.  They work hard to make it happen…and yet it doesn’t.  So, for those that it does materializes for…   Well, they really ought to feel blessed.   They should make the most out that blessing…not only for just themselves but for others around them, as well.

Well, it has been beautiful here for the past 2 days.  I’m feeling spring in the air.

And…oh, yes. 

I was not only on that Leeza Show giving it to that teacher.  But Leeza and her production must have really liked me.  They started featuring me in their commercial for the show, as well. 

You will not believe how many people stopped me in grocery stores to talk about that show with me.   I never would have thought anything like that would have happened to me.  And I certainly never set out to be on anybody’s show…much less in their commercial.

Talking about 15 minutes.  Well, I guess I have had mine now too.

Well, God bless…and enjoy your weekend.  And I have not forgotten that it is still Black History Month.  I celebrate our achievements all the time.  Can’t help but do so.  Don’t know what it is.  But I love me some black folks…(smile).  I really really do.

And oh yes,   I have just added my real photo to my “ABOUT” page of this blog.   Sorry, if it isn’t what you were imagining…but it is what God gave me.    And on that page you can find out more about what I am doing…besides giving you my opinions on things in these blogs.  I am truly a highly opinionated person…just can’t help it.

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009

1 comment February 28, 2009

Appalling…

Last night I started thinking about something and it began to strike me as being funny.   And yes, the funny ha-ha kind of funny.   I thought –

“Wow, if I told my gay friends this they would fall over and die laughing.”

And they would.

So, then I tried to call one of them…one of my gay women friends but she wasn’t home.

So, then I thought to call another friend…and finally I called a cousin of mine who I knew would understand what it was that I had found to be so humorous.

I should preface this first by saying…I have never been funny.  I couldn’t tell a joke if they gave me all of Oprah’s money to tell one. 

This is what I felt was so humorous.  As you may or may not know I am saved and have been so now for at least six  or so years.  But during this time…I have run into some very strange things in the church.    Here in lays the joke…when I was in the club and hanging out I understood what it meant if I exchanged my phone number with someone.  It was one of the main reasons we hung out. 

Since having come out of gay life…I do not find it necessary for me to want to exchange my phone number with any woman and particularly any woman I don’t know.  Don’t know her name…and do not share anything in common with…just somebody out of the clear blue sky.  No.  

 And if you have ever been stalked…you too soon learn.   No.

While in the school library computer lab a couple of days ago, this woman who has stopped to talk to me on a few occasions came and began a conversation with me again…near the end she asked me for my phone number so she could call me.  Before I could think about what it was I was going to say…I blabbed out-

“No, I’m not giving you my number.”

To which the woman just grinned at me and asked me why not?

I had not meant to sound so…I don’t know what.  But I thought I had been a bit harsh in my response so I soften a bit.

Then the woman offered me her number…grabbed up a piece of paper and wrote down her number and gave it to me…to which I told her I would not be calling her.

But I recanted…somewhat and said…

“But if you want here is my number.”

And she gave me a piece of paper to write it on.  While I tore up her phone number and handed it back to her saying-

“Here.”

And with that the woman was gone.

I never thought anything of that incident until last night…and then I started laughing.  I have all of my life been naive.  It is something that all of my friends can clearly tell you about me.   It had never dawn on me from the moment that woman started talking to me…I don’t even know how long ago…that she was trying to hit on me.   It is funny but last night…while doing something…I can’t remember what…but that woman asking for my phone number came back to me.  And I started laughing…it struck me humorous.

Once while in church, I was called into one of the church hallways by a very older church mother.  I had no idea what she wanted to say to me.  From the point I had joined this church I had been friendly towards this very older woman.  I respect and have a great love for older women.   I loved my own grand-mother very dearly.  But the thing that this older called me into the hallway to discuss with me horrified me.  I was shock…and …and…   And…oh, I don’t know…insulted.  

Yes, I was insulted…that some woman older than my mother and grand-mother could have possibly thought that I was interested in her.  A woman who was very exceedingly old…with…with…     Well,  with false teeth…and…lots and lots of  wrinkles…and…   And…she was real old…and a church mother too?

It was absolutely appalling to me.  Who would expect such a thing from an old church mother?

What could have been going on in her mind?

 How could she have possibly have thought such a thing? 

This was so far fetch…and yes…again…absolutely appalling to me.  That when our conversation ended…where she had called me out into a hallway to talk to me… I went immediately to my friend, the one I wrote about in a blog earlier who passed, another church mother in this church with whom I had become very close to.  She was a friend… a confidant… a counselor…and  an ear to me and for me…and I told her.  The blog that I wrote about her was back in August 2008…if  you go back through the calendar to the right of this blog you can go right to it…if you would like to read it.

At any rate…I told mother about what the other  older  woman had just said to me.  I had thought about telling it to the pastor.  But mother said no.  She counseled me to not tell anyone and she told me to stay away from that  woman.  There is something which can be said about wisdom…it is wise….and wise always.  I did as mother told me…and have continued to do it even though that older woman seems to changed towards me somewhat…and though my friend has since passed.

In another blog I told you of another church woman…whom following the end of an evening service I offered her a ride home along with someone else.  I have always offered people rides…I do it as this is how I have been trained…my mother taught us.   When we were growing up before church service my mother had us up and out picking up people from the nursing homes and nearby towns to bring them to church.  And at the end of the morning service those people would go home with us to have dinner and then return back to church for the evening service…after which my mother had us take them back to their nursing homes or homes in nearby towns.  So, if  I am driving and I know I am going to pass near somebody’s house and that they do not have a car…I offer a ride to them and to as many people who can fit into my car.

But as I told you in a prior blog about this woman…as I drove up to her apartment.  And it was just me and her in the car…as she started to get out…suddenly  this woman turned back to me and gave me this kiss that even when I was in gay life I never allowed anyone to kiss me that way.  You know that all in the mouth…tongue…everything.    No…it was horrible.  I withdrew from her…and acted like I had not noticed…if you can believe that.

So, last night I thought of  the woman who wanted to exchange phone numbers with me…I thought of the very old church mother…and I thought of that woman who after service I had driven home…and I started laughing.  I thought-

“If my gay friends only knew this they would die laughing.”

Here it was I had gotten out of the life…meaning gay life.  And this was happening to me.

So, I called my cousin because none of my gay friends were home to hear this story…and I…I felt that I just had to share it with someone who could…and would understand what I was talking about.  So, I called my cousin.   And yeah…she understood.

She enjoyed hearing it and began to share some things with me as well.  And by the time I had laid down to go to sleep following my conversation with my cousin I had started to regret having called her at all.

She had taken too much pleasure in my little stories. 

But here is one of the stories she shared with me.

She told me of a church she used to go to where there were a group of older women just like the old church mother I had told her about in my story.  The only difference was…was that they had all become involved with a very good-looking young male who also went to their church.  As time went on the young male died…and he died from AIDS.   Thus the story broke about his involvement with some old church women in the church who were in their latter 70’s and 80’s.

Since Viagra…I understand that the nursing homes have gone crazy.   But the church too?

Though women do not need viagra…or anything else.

If you have been really reading any of these blogs which I have written…then you would know I find all of this absolutely shocking…appalling really.  It is unthinkable to me…that such older women would be behaving in such a way.  And the other part about it  is that they are so loose…that they don’t care who knows.

In hearing this, I said to my cousin-

“You know some people are just in church because their mother is or was in the church…or their father was in the church…or because they just grew up in the church and have nothing else to do.  Some are in the church because they want to find a husband…some because they want to find a good wife…some because they view it as a great networking opportunity.  So, they are just sitting in the church but they have nothing in them…they are just there.”

And I came to find out as we continued to talk that was also true of my cousin.

I had oftentimes admired her for how she could quote scripture and knew where stuff could be found in the Bible.  But I found out last night that that was about it…she could quote it.  Because she sure wasn’t living it.

Awhile back, she had told me of a guy in her church with whom she had a flirting relationship…but she kept saying-

“I just thank God for keeping me.”

This guy sent her pictures of himself…in the nude via their cell phones.  That right there spoke volumes to me as to character of the guy.

So, last night since my cousin had not said anything about this guy for a while, I asked her about him. 

 Yes…the flirtation was over.  She had done it…and that in of  itself was not what was shocking or appalling to me…because I knew it was going to happen.  She had told me how she had gone to Victoria Secret…well, need I say more?    

She had all the while been preparing to do it.   This mind you while she was thanking God for keeping her from doing it.  Yet, she prepped herself to do it.   So, yes…I knew she was going to do it…sooner of  later she and that guy were going to end up in bed with each other.  And they did…and evidently not with the results she had been hoping for either.

She is in her 40’s now…and she sometimes speaks about how she would like to get married.

It seems that very few people save themselves for marriage any more.   And that is quite curious to me.  I would think you would only want to give your husband the best.  Not something used up and all ran through already. 

Isn’t that suppose to be part of  the beauty about  marriage?

I guess I am just old fashion in my thinking. 

But then my cousin went on and commenced to tell about her female supervisor for which she would love to go to bed with…and that is when I started regretting having called my cousin. 

It is hard to believe that she is an active church member and is readily carrying on in such a way.  But her state is not unusual only to her…there are many fallen pastors to go along with all those old church mothers who seem to not be too old to want to get enough of sex either. 

It is disheartening to me…but it does not sway me.  I intend to stand.   I know that everyone may not know what that means…but there are many who do.

Talking about something that is also somewhat appalling.  Blagojevich.

You do remember him don’t you?

Well, he is rather hard to forget since the guy is popping up all over the place.  If we thought he was insane for trying to get paid-off for selling off the Obama Senate seat of the State of Illinois.  We  know now for sure that he is. 

He seems to be getting a charge out of his 15 minutes of fame that is what is really unbelievable to me.  It just goes to show that some people have no shame.  And Blagojevich is one of the biggest of them.   What ah…ah…(I hate to say this)…but what a fool.  And everybody is inviting him on their show…and he is loving every minute of it.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2009/02/04/VI2009020401667.html?sid=ST2009020301282

And yes…   Why is it that people who know that they have issues which will probably be found out…such as having not paid their taxes. 

Why do they accept positions when they know that this information is going to be sought after and checked?

Is it that they secretly hate the people who approach them and say-

“Hey, have I got a great job for you.   And I believe you are the best person for it.”

Do they really hate these people so much to want to embarrass them for having asked you in the first place, Tom Daschle?

I don’t know who Ann Coulter is but clearly she either has issues or she lacks a large amount of understanding.  I had heard this interview with her on the View before…but at last I get a chance to comment on it.

It is interesting to me to hear any white person be critical of a black person for celebrating their blackness…or being African-American… or being a non-white person in America or anywhere else in this world.  Or celebrating the lives and legacies of other black folk.   

After years of  black folks trying become more like ‘them’ and less like us.  I think it was great for Halle Barry to accept the Academy Award in remembrance of all the black women who had stared in movies and never received anything…not even a nod in their direction for their great work.  And there were some truly highly fabulous and talented black women actors who had done some outstanding work…both on stage and screen..and now are little known for those efforts. While everybody knows Bette Davis and their other white counter-parts of the screen.

I also think that it is equally as great for Barack Obama to celebrate his blackness and to be proud of who he is and the forces behind him which have all aided in him getting to where he is today.

If Ann Coulter had grown up as a Halle Barry or a Barrack Obama…when people looked at them and didn’t see screen actor or president…but a little black girl or little black boy whom they didn’t want their little children associating with…much less playing with.   Then maybe Ms. Coulter might have a clue as to why they celebrate their blackness…which has and has always been a prominent part of their everyday lives.   (Also just DOUBLE CLICK on below screen to see and hear Halle make the best acceptance speech of the Academy of all times…and ignore the text that appears.)

Wow, having said all of that…and I am just realizing that it is “Black History Month.”   February will never be the same.

Well, I had to shovel some more snow today.   And I am not tired of it yet…though it was very cold out today.  But it is winter…and we haven’t had a real winter in such a long time.  This winter is making up for those past few years.  And I just love…just wish I could lite a fire in our fireplace.  But I rather be safe than sorry.   For now I will just enjoy looking over at my parent’s fireplace and dream ‘fire.’   Smile…and enjoy.

 THE BISHOP’S WIFE  is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book.  You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card.  Thank you. 

Well, God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009  

Add a comment February 5, 2009

The King Family Matters…continues 4

I have gone into court on many occasions and felt that I should have won where a Judge decided against me.  In life there are many battles.  Though we have to pick and choose our battles…as it is not possible to fight everything all of the time.  And when fighting them…we always have to be prepared to loose.

Loosing is as much a part of the process as anything else.  There are times in life when we loose and there will times in life when we win.  It is a fact.  And if you are in sales…they will tell you that ‘it is the law of averages’…meaning sooner or later either is bound to happen.

Bernice and Martin L. King III were recently in court with their brother Dexter who sued them to have their mother’s letters released to him.  As he claimed his mother’s letters are part of his father’s estate.  Since he negoiated a book deal for $1.4 million for his mother’s memoirs it stands to reason as to why he would want those letters to be in his possession.

At this particular hearing the Judge sided with little Dexter.

http://www.ajc.com/cherokee/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2008/10/31/coretta_scott_king_letters.html

One of the best things the court has incorporated in it…is the appeal process.  It is not often used as it can be a much harder battle…just preparing the proper paperwork and submitting it as the court requests it to be formatted can be overwhelming in of itself.  But the state Court of Appeals are a near final step…you can always go back into court and ask the Judge to reconsider his discision by setting it aside.  Which many times though you may get a court date, some Judges just won’t change their minds…not unless you really come up with some evidence which can really sway them to the other side…and that is provided that the Judge is willing to listen to it in the first place.  Some Judges can be very difficult and quite hardnose. 

Then, if you are still not satified because the Judge failed to change his mind, you may inform the court that you are going to appeal…and BAM!  You submit the court with your Notice of Appeal.  And you are on your way to the state court to appeal that decision, verdict or whatever the argument or contested matter is of that case.

Now, little Dexter has been busily selling off as much of the King estate as he can while lavashing himself with million dollar property in California…LA to be exact, as he desires to enter into the movie business ad plans on relocating.  Well, he has pretty much actually done that…moved from Atlanta for the sandy beaches of LA.  And also for the stage lights of the Hollywood sets…well, this not quite.  What he doesn’t understand about the movie business…is that he looks too much like his father to make it in Hollywood.  The only person he could possibly play would be his father…and I do understand the magic of make-up and all of that…and there are not enough movies being made about Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. to bring his son’s dream into reality. 

The point I am making regarding casting of movies….Martin L. King’s face is known around the world.  No one would belive or accept a character who looked like Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. as any one else outside of being Dr. Martin L. King, Jr..  In order for it to work his son would have to be able to beat Densel acting, where he could assume a role and make  that role, or character come  so alive in a way that in the viewing of the movie the audience didn’t see Dr. Martin L. King, Jr.  but whatever character Denzel…I mean Dexter was   playing.  And that is not an easy task. 

So, Dexter will never make it in LA as an actor…and you can tell him…I said it.  If it were possible Yolanda King who studied drama and was an actor would have been able to find success in the business.  But even as woman…she looked very much like her father.  In a business where people suspend reality…it is hard to do that when you are looking into the face of Civil Rights icon and trying to imagine or see him as anything else but that Civil Rights icon…and that is exactly what Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. was, and still is…a Civil Rights icon.

The current letters which the court gave Dexter access to are letters written to their mother from their father during the Civil Rights Movement.

Because Rev. Bernice King is supposedly legally over their mother’s estate, it is interesting to me that the Judge would have awarded Dexter with that decision.  And Dexter is in control of the Martin L. King, Jr. Center for Non-Violence and his father’s estate.

You have got to have the right lawyer or lawyers.  And I am going to tell you something that lawyers hate.  Sometimes you have to kick the lawyers to the curb and better go in fighting for yourself…if you have the skill and ability to do it. 

Who better to represent you…than you? 

But without the proper verbal skills or confidence…and the ability to restrain your emotions…you better not try it.  At times in court I have been good…but during family matters I many times  just break.  Family stuff hurts.

I don’t think that I am all that confident…and believe me when you start standing in front of the Judge having to defend yourself it is even worst.  They have terms…legal terms that will fly right over your head.  And I should know…because a few of them have flown over mine.

There were times when I wish I had done or said that…at the time it came to me but I didn’t do it.  Later afterwards…I could have kicked myself time and time again for not having done so…because it cost me the case.  Or I wished I had been smarter.

The first case I ever won was a case I took into Small Claims Court.  I had bought a car.  The ad read ‘great running condition’ etc…etc…  And when I tested the car it ran beautifully.  But the next day when I went back to pick it up and give them my money…the car never ran properly.  I have no idea what it was…or what they did to it…but I ended up buying a beautiful looking vehicle…but mechanically it was not the vehicle I had tested. 

I quickly found the newspaper ad and file my complaint in Small Claims.  Small Claims Court is very much like Judge Judy’s show presents it to be.  You stand up there and tell your side, show what you have to back it up…then the other side talks…and after a while the Judge ususally says you’ll receive your decision in the mail…whereas on TV…Judge Judy renders a decision during the show.

So, I presented my complaint before the Judge and I got my decision in the mail.  And guess what?

The Judge was very nice to me.  I had won.  But I not only won my money back…but the Judge let me keep the car too.  And those people who had sold me the car they paid me all of my money back sending me weekly amounts until I had totally received it all back.  And I got the car fixed.  It was a beautiful Bonneville convertible, 1968.  I could not get out of the car without finding notes on from people interested in buying it from.  But this ended being a very expense lesson for the people who sold me that car.

Judges as a rule are not that overwhelmingly kind or generous.  So, for a very long time I walked around thinking how I was so smart because I had won…and won like that.  But now I have come to realize…that I am not that smart at all…but just exceedingly blessed.  I have a very dear and good friend who sits high and looks low…and sees and knows everything.

I never won that case.  God did…He won it for me.  And many times you go into court…you should really consider Him.  I have had many different outcomes in court…but each one whether I have won them or lost them…I knew that God did it.  If I didn’t win, I knew that there was something in that case that God desired to show me…or have me consider.

I almost always take everything as a learning experience.  I may not always like the outcome of the set of events…but the lessons behind them have lead me not to do somethings again…or seek to do somethings a lot better.  And each time I have always found that they were setting me up for the case…which oftentimes were bigger and more important…like our Appellate case in Carolina now.

The lawyers have a this saying, “Only a fool is his own lawyer.” 

And unless you are a very quick learner and can adapt quickly…and also…this is a very important point…have the ability to speak up for yourself…and can be quiet while the Judge is talking or listening…unless you can do these things think twice of going into court ‘pro-se’…which means representing yourself.  You have to be concise, to the point and extremely well thought out…and certainly able to prove your case for real evidence…whether a paper trail or bills or some type of contract etc…  You must be able to prove your case.  And need to definitely pick your fights.

And if it is a case that you get to make a decision as to whether the jury decides or the Judge…go jury.  Twelve or 6 people give you a better chance at winning.

Recently, I had a case thrown out of court.  I brought it against a local doctor and hospital here.  I knew the probability of my winning the case was low…but I just could not let it go.  For what that doctor did to me…he definitely deserved to be sued.  And though I knew I was entering into a very steep up-hill battle…I decided to file my complaint any how.  Which is what I did…because the way I figured it out even if I lost…and here is another point. 

You have to really be careful at bringing a case that you might loose because the other side will turn around and levy all their court fees, lawyer fees and everything else they can against you.  And you could end up having to pay a lot more than what you thought. 

But I decided to go forward with my case against that doctor.  The case never got very far because to get specialist and all of that costs money…but I knew one thing.  I knew that all legal cases become public record…and that is what I sought to do.  I knew I couldn’t probably win one way…but I got him the other way.  My complaint against him was and is public record.  Now, any lawyers seeking to bring a case against him and are looking for amunition against for another complaint…well, they will come upon my case and be able to read in full detail why I bought that law suit.  That is why I did it.

We are hoping that everything works out well for the King Family with regard to their current battles.  It is very difficult dealing with family matters.  And not all times does the right or the truthful party win.  But one thing is for sure God will work it out for your good.

God bless…and be encouraged all.

Talking about God.  If you read my blog on my parent’s furnace almost exploding.  Yes, I am suppose to be in cold…as the furnace is gone.  But God gave my parents the wisdom not to have the heat and hot water tied into one.   The hot water tank is separate…which mean I still have hot water.  So, if I have to go through the winter without the furnace…I can.  Because I still have electricity and I still have the stove. 

So, God is soo soo good.  And I cannot thank Him enough.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/04/books/04arts-RULINGISISSU_BRF.html?ref=arts

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/race_relations/jan-june97/king_1-15.html

http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2008/apr/05/cant-stop-a-movement/

http://blogs.bet.com/news/newsyoushouldknow/mlk%E2%80%99s-youngest-son-calls-his-siblings%E2%80%99-lawsuit-ludicrous/

…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com

Add a comment November 6, 2008

Willis Kattrell… alas…

ahhhh….alas….

I have been doing nothing but smiling and glowing deep down inside since this past weekend…(it is a girl thang). 

It is kind of like going to church and hearing a sermon that really seeps down deep into your soul.  And you leave church feeling…feeling good all over…and glowing all through the week whenever you think about it.

I experienced one of those this past weekend.  It was at a school reunion…Black Alumni Conference for my college…and since the moment I received an email from a very unexpected person…well, I had been looking forward to seeing him.

The email that was sent to me was out of the clear blue sky…and it said-

“See you tomorrow.”

It could have been written directly from a suspense thriller. 

It had me on the edge of my seat.  It intrigued me. 

It had been some mere 40 years since seeing that wonderful smile and those teeth of life…but I remembered them well.  And that face which they lit from day to day.

Midway through the evening the following night upon not seeing him, I whispered to someone…

“Willis said that he was coming. But I guess he must be running late.”

And to my surprise she informed me by poking out her little pinky finger saying-

“That’s Willis right there.”

He had been sitting directly in front of me…and…  Well, I had not…well…he-he…  Well, he was clean shaven.  He looked corporate.

Gone was that big afro that marked his time in American history.  He was bald…but when he turned and smiled in  our direction.  There it was…that smile…those teeth.  They…they had not changed.

Upon getting the opportunity to speak with him…I did not fail to tell him of all that I had thought of him while we were in school. 

Though he too had failed to recognized me…and that was okay,  I still disclosed my undying love, my admiration, my appreciation and my respect for him.  And he stood before me so gracious, so humble and so kind just politely thanking me all the while for every kind word.

To think that I would ever grow up to be able to tell Willis all of that…oh, alas….

And Willis, he was…   He still walked like Willis.   He still talked like Willis…his voice tone was the same.  He was still pretty much basically his same size…and he still had that…that wonderful laugh. 

Yeah…I may not have recognized him at first…but he was still very much Willis.

And near the end of evening he walked over to me and turned my chin upward towards his…oh, so unexpectedly…and he kissed me. 

I have no idea how I reacted…but I have been smiling ever since.

Willis kissed me.

Did I tell you…that Willis kissed me?

Willis Kattrill kissed me.

He kissed me.  And now I know how Peppermint Patty must have felt when Charlie Brown…excused me, when ‘Charles’ kissed her.

I can’t believe it.

Oh, alas…

Willis Kattrell kissed me.

And I have been smiling ever since.  I have been feeling happy way deep down inside…because that…that…that Willis Kattrell…he-he kissed me.

Are you sure that I told you….that Willis Kattrell kissed me?

Well, he did.  And my world shall never be the same…because alas…that…that Willis Kattrell…he kissed me. 

Now, nothing will ever be the same…because….well….because Willis kissed me.

And then he introduced me to his wife saying-

“Tell her all the things you told me.”

I groaned saying-

“Awh…Willis, she already knows.”

But just in case she didn’t…I tapped the table a couple of times just to emphasize the point saying-

“Baby, you got the prize…you got the prize.”

She got Willis Kattrell…and my what a prize.

And he loved it.  He laughed.

He was standing behind me…and oh me, oh my…       

I was suddenly propelled back into the 70’s listening to that laugh.  My mind went back to when Willis had a big afro, when on occasions I would see those beautiful teeth appear from up under his wonderful warm smile.  

That Willis Kattrell…he was one of the best looking guys of the campus…par none.  And he was always a gentleman.  And then, of course, he was the guy who took the time to teach me everything I learned in radio that had to do with basic board operation in the beginning stage of  what would become my profession.

It was Willis…and I was so happy to see him.

And now…I am still smiling because…  Well, because Willis Kattrell kissed me.

This is for every wallflower, plain Jane and fat girl out there who has stood around wishing she were like all the other girls.  Remember this…Willis Kattrell kissed me.  I never dreamed it.  Well, this should give you all hope…time is the great equalizer, baby.  And don’t you ever dare forget it.

I…I love you, Willis Kattrell.

Smile and have a beautiful day.

“Hey, are you sure?”

“Are you sure that I told you that…that…   Well, that…that Willis Kattrell…that he…that he kissed me?”

“Did I tell you?”

Please be sure to share this blog site with all your friends…family…just….just….everyone!

Have a beautiful day…and thank you for reading.

…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com

God bless…and thanks for reading ©2008

Add a comment October 23, 2008

Cleopatra Jones, Yolanda King …and me

Since purchasing my first computer I have found that I actually watch little TV…actually I watch no TV at all now.  Not that I have ever been big on watching television in the first place…because I am always too busy.  But growing up it was one of my favorite things to do.  I sat in front of the television a lot watching ‘Gun Smoke’,  ‘Mission Impossible’,  ‘Secret Agent Man,’ ‘Julia,’  ‘Sanford and Son,’  etc…etc…the Saturday Afternoon Movies, the After School Movies, the Sunday Night Movies etc.  Those were the days that TV actually had something on it. And today with over 100 channels to choose from it is very much not the case.  Of all of those channels that you have to choose from you still can’t find anything good to watch…except maybe re-runs and old television shows…and network TV…which doesn’t offer very much any more either. 

So, then what are you wasting all your money on?

Which is why I have really never had cable.  If I bought cable I would have to sit in front of the television all of time just so I could feel I was getting my money’s worth.  As shameful as it may be, I am that kind of person.  I need to feel I’m getting my money’s worth.

While my son was going to school in North Carolina, I had gone down to visit him which is something I did usually once a month…just to double check that he was taking care of all of his bills.  As I had to get him an apartment since his campus didn’t have any dorms…which meant that he had for the first time in his life he had utility bills and rent to be paid among other things. 

So, I would go down to make sure that everything was being taken care of…which really is something  you should do when your children are just graduating from high school and going off on their own for the first time in their life…as was the case of my son.  Because for one thing…since they never had to pay for anything…particularly bills…they start off not being very good at tending to their priorities.  Which really was the same way we were growing up.

While down in North Carolina on this particular trip, my son took me to some buffet where you could eat all you could eat.  It was some place that he liked but I thought it was a bit high.  And if you know about buffets…for some reason or other after spending all that money you find out that you really aren’t very hungry.  Then there is this other thing too…for some reason these places all seem to have the very best bread on the planet.  So, you sit and sit…eating bread…and lots of it.  So, by the time it comes to the food you have no place to put it.

But this place was expensive…and I just was not going out like that.  I had spent all that money and I felt that I needed to at least eat my money’s worth.  If I had had a couple of plastic bags on me things might have been very different…I would have eased some food into the bags and taken it home…but I didn’t have any plastic bags or anything else.  So, I had to eat it.  I was determined to get my money’s worth.  And I did.

I became so filled…I was sick.  I tried drinking some water hoping that it would force the food down…but it only made it worst.  I had no room for nothing…and the little water I drank made me feel sicker.  I was filled from all the way where the stomach begins up into some place near my tongue at the back of my throat.

I told my son, “I think I’m going to be sick.  We need to leave.”

I was so stuff…I was miserble.  I wanted to do anything that would give me relief…but nothing was working.  I was doubled over and definitely not feeling well.  And the ride in the car back to my son’s apartment only seemed to make me feel worst…and I felt like I was now getting nauseated. 

I was terribly miserable that day.  And of course…I learned my lesson in a very big way.  I don’t care how much it costs…I am not going to try and kill myself eating anything.  It is one of the worst feelings.

I am not a big eater.  My problem is and has always been…that I eat at the wrong times…usually right about before going to bed.  During the course of my life my  schedule has always been too busy for me to want to break it up going to lunch.

When you’re in LA working on a project or outside of LA working on a project (film or pushing out a script)…all the vendors and movie studio people will call you (if they know you are working on something) saying-

“Lets do lunch.”

They do this because everyone wants to be a part of your project.  They either want you to spend money with them…or as in the case of the studios and acquisition people…they want “first look”…meaning they want to see your movie first…before anybody else…in case it is really worth buying.

But who has time when they are trying to complete a film project…or get it up off the ground…to be sitting around and having lunch with a bunch of people who really want to take from you.  That’s LA, baby.

Most of my life I have been involved in the creative arts particularly when I started editing.  I would go into a editing session early in the morning and literally leave out when they kicked me out sometime later that night when the facility would be closing. 

During my editiing sessions which were from Monday thru Saturday…I never got up to go to the bathroom or eat anything.  Because once you are involved in the creative process of editing you never want to break up your momentum…(really that goes for anything that takes a lot on concentration)..and you just never seem to have enough time as time always seems to fly by so quickly.  So, you never want to waste one moment of time by getting up to do anything…and you don’t.

But having this conversation with my friend, an elderly woman from our church…the one whom I informed you in my blog entitled ‘Losing a friend…’ where I state that we believe she is in the process of passing…she informed that I had to change my eating habits or otherwise I would ruin my stomach.  There is nothing like wisdom…hearing that made me immediately consider my eating habits and make an adjustment in them. 

I try now not to eat anything after 7 PM…whereas before I only ate one time a day and it was usually after 11 PM…just before I would crawl into bed…to get up and go back to editing, or writing, or to the radio station, or film classes or whatever it was I was doing the very next day until 11 PM the next night.

The one thing about me…whatever I am doing I become grossly involved in it. I sank all of my energy into what I am immediately involved in.  I have been told I have tunnel vision…meaning when I am involved in whatever I am involved in or doing something…it consumes me and all of my attention.

This was never more apparent than when I started my advertising business, Queen Bee Multi-Media Advertising Agency and Consulting, Inc..  It is so funny…because I would go to bed and iterally dream up ad campaigns for clients…really.  And amazingly could remember them that morning upon awakening.  I was so engrossed with creating work…creating whole advertising campaigns for my many clients…that I eat, drank, slept and dreamed the thang.  I loved it…and still do.  There is something about the creative process that is highly intriguing to me.

I spent a lot of time developing concepts, sitting with artists and discussing client ad campaigns, and planning new stragies, figuring out rates, where I wanted commericals slotted, which publications we were going to buy etc…  But every moment was worth it…and New York provided with an wide open playing field.  Bud I just loved the work…and besides all the projects represented a part of me.  They were me. 

I love the creative process…seeing a beginning and an end of a thing.  Something that starts from nothing…an idea then blossoms into radio spots (commercials), magazine and newspaper copy, booklets, journals, posters, sold out venues, concerts, plays, screenplays, radio dramas, television programs, radio programs, and other various types of productions, film stuff…etc..etc…  It is…exciting…just seeing the end product, figures, responses etc…   Hearing what the copy sounds like, or reads like etc…amazing.

Everything I have ever done…I have to perfect it.  I have to get to be the best at it…which to me means putting in the time required to make that happened.  And that is just what I do…I live, sleep and eat it…until I perfect it. And I constantly keep challenging myself…by taking whatever it is that I am doing…to the highest levels of mastery.

When I learned video editing…and I am proficient in the use of all 3 of the top professional softwares…Advid, Premerier and Final Cut…but when I learned it I nearly slept at the editing facilities where I was working.  After a time people would walk by and begin asking me-

“Ooooh, how did you do that?”

Then they started saying-

“When I shoot my footage I want you to edit for me.”

My belief is…if you are going to do…then perfect it.  Become proficient in everything you do and take pride in your work.  And always work towards excellence.

Just a quick story.

Once I was a manager…one of 8 at this particular place where I was working.  I shared with you earlier in another blog of mine how one day while in downtown Brooklyn, I ran into one of our employees whom I hadn’t seen in while…who hugged me and I said-

“I thought you didn’t like me.”

And she said-

“Yes, but you were fair.”

You can read that blog somewhere amidst my now many blogs…right here @ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com   …pass it on.

At any rate…When you have so many managers in a small high paced space…the atmosphere becomes very competitve. 

Since I am a person who works towards excellence in everything I do…so, on this job I was not very well liked.  Because my way of working really meant that all the other managers would have to step up in order to contend with my overall job proformance.  I, of course, never realized that…because I had never encounted that type of thinking before.  And since I was the new kid on the block…meaning I was new on this job compared to them…they weren’t having it.  They liked things just as they had been…not that I was trying to change anything.   I…well, I just worked differently from them.  And somehow they felt threaten by that.

At first I thought it was because I had the highest level of education among them…but over time I came to find out it was that too,  but more so…that they just didn’t like me because I was me…a person who sought to do her job ‘well.’

I was not trying to show anybody up…nor was I trying to impress anyone.  But it was just how I worked.  I worked towards excellence.  It is the only way I know how to work…even on my own projects.  I commit myself.

On this job I was the one who hired all the new employees.  To do this properly sometimes (actually on almost 1 day of all of my 2 days off I would go in to inview folk)…as I would usually have to hire as many as 30 to 40 people at a time to keep up with the company quota for our location.  So, to do this I usually went into work on one of my days off.  As I not only had to hire them but I would also have to train them, issue them their uniforms and in many cases have them ready to hit the floor the next day.  I did not mind using one of my days off to do this as I felt it was something I had to do in order to keep up with the company requirements in term of staffing.  But the other managers…looked upon me as an over achiever.  And they did everything they could to sabotage me…including forging my name to company documents. 

The whole affair was quite disconcerting to me.  I had never in my life been anywhere where people didn’t like me.  But I did my job any how…and I continued to do it the only way I knew how…with excellence.  And in the end I won. 

At some point I am sure I will share that whole story.  But God has been exceedingly good to me.  He took me out of that situation…but not before making the company pay me.  And He made them pay me well.  From August of 2000 that company has been paying me…and I have not had to work one day since.

Through all the problems on that job, all the lies, deceits and falsehoods…I continued to be me.  I continued to be the worker I had always been…someone who goes in to her job to get it done…and to do it to her best ability.

My bantra is…do it well.  Don’t do it good…but do it well…to its highest level…the best that you can do it.

If it is anything worth doing…and you should only be doing things worth doing…then why not do it well?

As stated earlier I am not much of a television watcher…so therefore I was surprised when somewhere over the internet I ran across the fact that  actress Tamara Dobson had died in October 2006.  She was absolutely beautiful and I had thought that I had heard she had gotten into ministry.  But during the last 2 years of her life she was in a nursing home suffering from MS, Mulitple Sclerosis.

That was very hard to read considering how tall she was, 6’2″, and knowing the debilitating affects of MS…having lost a good friend to it.

My friend had just completed college…and a group of us were in Jersey for a wedding of another college friend when someone said to me-

“When was the last time you’ve seen___.  I think you need to go see her.  I hear she’s drinking or something.  They said that she was pretty tore up when they saw her.”

For the whole wedding that stayed on my mind.

I loved my friend.  She had been the very first person in my class whom I had met on the campus…we met my first day on campus and we became very close friends.  When we started hanging out…she took me to this club in Connecticut called “Mr. Peas.”   That place was fabulous…black lights, bubble machine and the best music.  I was, of course, a wall flower…and I had never been in any club or disco anything until my friend brought me to Mr Peas.  And I was quite a wall flower…but that was okay…I didn’t mind it.  I loved the place…I found the disco thang exciting…but my friend…well, she was beautiful…so, she was always on the dance floor.   We always had fun…and I loved it at Mr. Peas.  Neither of us were drinkers so we didn’t drink at all.   It was a lot of clean fun.  

I remember once how my friend…how she had bought us these matching glittering tops to wear to Mr Peas.  It was fantastic.  It was like we were sisters or something.  She was the best…my friend.  I would have never have thought to buy her anything…but the sheer thought that she did in regards to me meant so much to me.

She was a lot of fun…but after graduating from college, I later found out following the conversation at the wedding, that she started having problems holding onto things.  Pencils and pens would just fall from her hands…and gradually the problems continued to grow.

After that wedding I sought my good friend out…whom I had not seen in a while.  When I visited her…I cried.  As I have already stated in another blog of mines…I am not the best person to go and see anyone who is sick…because I become too emotional.  I just cried.

She did not look anywhere close to the person whom I had known.  She was confined to a wheelchair now and didn’t have the strength in her legs to keep her from falling much less walk.  Her eyes were going in 2 different directions. 

I could do nothing but cry. 

But she was strong…and kept trying to console me.   I could still understand her somewhat…as her speech was a bit slurred…but later on I could not.  And even then she was trying to console me as best she could.  Imagine…her trying to console me…and she was the one who was dying from that disease.  That was the kind of person she was…and had always been.  She was beautiful.  And I am happy to have been graced by God to have known her as ‘my friend.’

They say that MS is not hereditary…but not only had my friend had it, but come to find out her sister also suffered from it and has since passed too only a few years ago…and most recently I have found out that my friend’s daughter, her only child, now has MS also.

When I think of them, my friend, her sister and her daughter…whom I keep continuously in my prayers…I think of the electric reactors I saw by her apartment when I went to visit her on that first time following the wedding conversation.  For some reason when I looked over and saw them across the street from her house…I don’t know what I thought really…but for some reason those things stayed in my spirit.  And now as we become more informed…we have to stay away from areas that have large energy sources.  They just look unhealthy…and they are.

There is just no way that this stuff cannot affect you…if you live somewhere near it.  All this energy is going through your body and is being absorbed into your body.  That being the case it stands to reason that sooner or later it is going to affect you healthwise. 

And most of the time these things are located where the poor people live…electrical receptors or contaminated waste dumps…the folks whose lives are put mostly into jeopardy by such installations are poor.

When I used to walk around with all the video equipment, cameras and things…as I would walk pass the television at home it would mess with the reception…just because I had passed it.  I knew from that that all the equipment I was operating and sitting around in the televison studios and editing suites for all those prolonged hours really could become potenially hazardous to me. 

My body had soaked up some of that energy…enough to radiate off of me and distrub the television signal whenever I neared the television.  I didn’t think about that at the time…but I do now.  I recognized it…and what was happening but it had never dawn on me what overall effect it could have upon me physically or mentally.

It is energy and your mind is made of electronic impulses sending signals to various areas of your brain which enable you to speak, walk, talk etc…etc.  Inducing other electric signals into your system could technically cause it have some type harm or malfunction…or interruption.  Which in case if you haven’t been listening or reading over the internet…they are saying that your cell phone could be hazardous to your health…for the exact reasons I have just laid out. 

There are all kinds of nervous disorders…and some of it can be attributed to the meats and other things we eat…some to where we live and what we live near…some to (hold on to your seats) the microwave or your cell phone etc.  I didn’t think that you would want to hear that.  Not about your microwave…and cell phone too.

They are saying that about the cell phone now…but I do believe that in a few years we will hear how the microwave causes health problems too…because that process is just not natural.  Think about it…microwaving causes the molecules to speed up and rub against one another at such a rate that it generates heat causing that generated heat to cook or warm up your food (depending upon how you use your microwave).  I use microwaves very little…because I just don’t trust them…they have a tendency to change the texture of the food and alter its taste…and I just feel that that is not only un-natural but also will prove to be quite unhealthy.

When I think of MS…I always think of my friend…and I also think of  Congress Woman, Barbara Jordan, who was quite an eloquent speaker, being highly gifted in oration and as well as well educated.  It was during one of her speeches that I first heard the word ‘xenophobia’…but she also early in her life had to battle the crippling affects of Multiple Sclerosis.

Who gets MS…women mostly between the ages of 20 to 40.

Symtoms of MS…blurred vision, eye pain, possible double vision, lack of coordination, weakness of muscles, partial or mild paralysis, slurred speech, involuntary contraction of muscles (jerkiness), partial numbness, pain without apparent cause etc…

Now, that I have given you these symtoms please don’t go around trying to self-diagnose yourself.  That would be a foolish thing to do.  Sometimes we can work ourselves into a state just believing we have something…when we don’t.

If you care to read more on Multiple Sclerosis please CLICK on the LINKS below.

http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/mssymptoms.html

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/multiple_sclerosis/detail_multiple_sclerosis.htm

Well, today I finally opened up some mail I had put off opening for a couple of weeks now.  Sometimes I just don’t want to read anything that I don’t think is going to be good news. 

Well, I finally read a letter that came to me fromt the North Carolina Court of Appeals.  I thought it was a letter informing me that the court was rejecting our appeal…but it was not.  But the letter only gave me 10 days to respond…and I had sat on it for 2 weeks before opening it…(you do the math). 

I was late. 

Yes, I was.  And very late…which meant I had to really kick it into gear and get going on it.

So, I immediately called the court trying to get an extension of which I was given 7 days…this meant I had to interrupt my vacation today. 

It is summer and I am on vacation.  I don’t even leave the house unless I have to.  After all, I spent all of last semester, Spring Semester, carrying 21 credits of school courses…dealing with foreclosures, courts, got arrested and wrote a book…all of which you can read about in some of my other blogs.  So, clearly I need a break.  And if I say so myself…I am definitely entitled to one.  So, I was taking it…but now today…

So, today I had to interrupt my vacation and leave out of the house…because it was paramount that I get that Appeals Court information to Charlotte and then on Raliegh, North Carolina.  And I had to do it today…via express mail.  Because I had no intentions of missing my 7 day deadline…not if I could help it…now the court…well…the judge has to sign it, it has to be entered into the record, then sent to Raliegh…I’m praying on it because that means that there are whole a lot of other people involved and they may not have my resolve in handling this matter.   But I did what I had to do…I got out and got it do done.

Now, I have to follow up with Charlotte to make sure my package made to that court and that they get what I need done and out to the court in Raliegh hopefully all within the same day.

In a prior blog I told you how the car I had purchased so my son could get around while in school down in North Carolina…how that vehicle had gotten hit and was virtually totalled  in that accident…which caused us to have to file suit against Allstate Insurance Company and the car dealership, Parks Chevrolet, who was suppose to do the repairs.

In that blog about the trial I informed you how when we finally got around having our court date…the actual trial…how the other side tried to steal our case from us…you have really got to read that blog.   Which is how we were forced to appeal the case by taking it into the Court of Appeals to have our dismissal overturned.

My son tells me…that I don’t do anything but sue people.

But you know what?

Some people need to be sued.

Allstate and Parks Chevorlet needed to be sued…if for no other reason than they knowingly endangered the life of my son.  Of which I just could not let that go.

You can read more on my trials and tribulations with Allstate and Parks Chevorlet in my blog entitled ‘Tired…’   And also please keep in mind to share this blog address with your friends, neighbors, co-workers…just everybody…. www.bsmith101.wordpress.com    pass it on….

You do have to pick your fights…there will be some you fight and some you just have to pray over (and I guess that really goes for all of them).  There will be some that you just want it on the record but know that you won’t win (don’t go into any case that you know you won’t win with a lawyer)…but your putting on the record (because all court cases unless they are sealed by the judge are public record).  

However, since I handle all of my own legal affairs…I do not have to worry about lawyer fees and things like that.  If you can’t handle it yourself…and most people can’t…and I am not great at it either (because they try to make it very hard on you so that they won’t have a bunch on non-lawyers handling their own cases running all over the court…and they will do nothing to help you).  For the amount of time and effort you would have to put going to a law library and researching whatever information you need to know to handle your case as properly as you can…takes up an awful lot of time and diligence. 

But if you can do it and know that you might not win…because believe this too…nothing beats a failure but a try…you may win…if you back up whatever you want to sue over…if you have concrete evidence…but believe me that putting it on the record goes a longs way and can be a powerful weapon.  It may not be all that beneficial to you if you decide it is a battle you have to take on but may lose.  Doing so may make you feel a little better over the situation…but one thing is for sure…you are exposing someone or a company for what they are and that could prove to be very helpful to someone else.

Most recently I had to file something in small claims also.

After having all those problems with Allstate and car I bought for him to take to school down in North Carolina…my son finally bought himself a new car.  But not having any credit meant getting one of those ‘no credit or bad credit’ deals.  Which when you get it…you are just happy for the transportation and that you finally got something that you needed.

But with these people who financed this SUV for my son…they would never credit us properly.  My son would always pay more than what his monthy amount was for…and usually before its due date.  But the company would always call and say-

“Well, you’re 30 days late.”

Or they would say, “You are 61 days late.”

How could this be when he had just finished making a payment…and it was before the due date…and far more than required?

It was by continuously rigging their books to seem that what they were saying was true in order to make it appear that we were always behind in order for them ‘the company’…United Consumer Finance…to pad their pockets.  Which is illegal and considered by law an ‘unfair trade practice.’

My son was trying to build his credit so that he would not have the problem a credit problem the next time he wanted to buy something or another car.  

But these ‘bad credit/no credit’ deals are not as good as they seem.  Going into a deal with them and getting a vehicled financed by these kind of people who prey upon the needy…may just work against you rather than work to your benefit.

The company, United Consumer Finance, never credited my son’s account with any of extra money he was paying against his car loan.  Nor did when he paid off his car loan…which he paid it off in advance of its due date by several months…but the payoff amount was no lower than had he made all the payments through to the duration of the loan.  And then during the course of time my son had had the loan…each month they charged him late charges though he was overpaying his monthly payment and was usually sending in the payments ahead of their payment date. There was not one month that a late fee had not been applied to my son’s account.

And on top of all of that…they ruin my son’s credit too.

I think this company, United Consumer Finance, deserves to be sued. 

Don’t you?   

So, I filed the papers on them.  Later this month we will meet them in court.  I will keep you posted on the outcome.

Smile…and have a beautiful day.

Oh, yes…not only had I not known that Tamara Dobson, Cleopatra Jones, had died…but I was never aware that Yolanda King had also passed.  I was shocked in fact to read that story.  To have lost her so close on the heels of losing their mother, I know had be hard on the entire King family.  Be encouraged.

I hear the thunder outside.  So, I guess we are in for a rainy day. God bless… ©2008

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