Posts tagged ‘relationships ‘
I’m sorry but I can definitely not agree.
I understand how the world now feels that it must agree with every whim that comes rolling along, in order to not offend anyone.
But what about what is right?
Should we forsake everything that is right in order to appease everything in this world?
I think not. And I also believe it puts this world … though it has already been… on the road to destruction long ago… but it is just edging closer and closer to it.
It appears to me that we at this moment in history …we are creating our own pitfalls and devastation.
You cannot run with everything and believe you will finish the race successfully. Somewhere along the line something falls… or everything begins to fall out of your arms. This means you loose something.
We are loosing many things these days… and it mostly boils down to primarily loosing our way as people… as a civilization …as people who live in a ‘real world.’ Not a make-believe world… anything we want to be… or anything we want it to be world. But a REAL WORLD… with REAL WORLD ORDER… standards… qualifications… variety… and variances created by God. Not by us.
God created this world order. And He created it as He would have it to be.
Can man upset world balance?
Yes, man can.
When we go tinkering with things which we should not be tinkering with problems are sure to arise. And they have.
This whole cross dressing and transgender thing is going to destroy this planet. And this thing is booming.
There is a problem which arises when we start picking and choosing what gender we decide we should be. Or maybe what gender we decide we are going to raise our children as being… like saying you wanted a boy but got a girl.
So, you arbitrarily decide you are call your girl Sam and dress her only in clothes of boys… and have her live her life as Sam. And never let her in on the fact that she is a girl… but tell and teach her as if she is boy.
So, Sally grows up believing that she is Sam. Now, this is hypothetical. I just going somewhere with this scenario.
Now, Sally did not realize until some time in school that she … or rather he (Sam) was different from all the other boys. She noticed that perhaps she looked more like a girl. Then she noticed that she had started to develop breasts. When she was in the boy’s bathroom she noticed that she was missing something that all the other boys seem to have when they peed.
But you raised Sally believing that she was Sam.
You thought that you were God. That you could create whatever you wanted your child to be. When God gave you the child He had deemed for you… a girl… not a boy.
Now, Sam is having problems at school. He is disassociating from all the other kids. He feels that he does not fit in. He feels different.
Most of us grew up feeling different. Many of us grew up feeling like we didn’t fit in. These are natural emotions for kids to go through… except for those who happen be popular and always seem to be in the midst of plenty of people who rush to be with them.
But you weren’t 1 of them. When you look into the mirror you see somebody else. You feel like if you could be somebody else… that then you would be happy. Maybe you wish you were your sister or brother or a different sex. Or your mom or dad. And you begin to become that someone else.
Kids are always pretending… and playing make believe. But when does this become something else for some kids or teens… or even adults?
It becomes something else as long as you harbor or meditate of being that different person… that you begin to fantasize yourself to be. And after a while you meet up with someone… because it only takes 1 mixed up and highly confused person to send you on a trip you may never come back from… a trip to convert yourself into a fantasy you.
It is all make believe. Because we are who we are… and there is no changing it no matter how many pills are taken. How deep the voice may get… or how much facial hairs you get… or breasts you develop. You really can’t change you.
Oh, outwardly yes. But inwardly… no. And that inside person who really determines who you truly are. And it goes beyond your DNA… and THAT you definitely cannot change.
So, you change your name, your driver’s license, your city or town… and the pretense really begins. Because you are looking for a fresh start as this ‘new you.’
Though you may be able to deceive many people. The issue is… how long can you keep up the pretense. Because everyday you step out the door pretending to be who you were not born to be is really just a pretense… and you will never ever be able to get away from that.
What I find interesting is how in the world do people who go through all this really believe that becoming …or attempting to become another gender means that they are not gay?
Do they not want to engage in sexual activity with someone of the sex they are pretending to no longer be?
Then how can this not be gay behavior?
Oh, because you now associate yourself as the opposite sex… and call yourself ‘he’ rather than ‘she’… you believe that you automatically became the ‘he’ or ‘she’ you wanted to be?
Do not deceive yourself. It is all a charade. And the only 1 who got fooled was you.
Men who want men… are not going to go for a man who becomes a woman. Because if they wanted a woman they could get a ‘real’ woman… not some one pretending to be 1.
Women who love women… might like a dyke looking woman… many like that … but not all. But if a woman wanted a man, do you not believe she could find herself a ‘real’ man… and not someone playing and eating pills to be 1?
And therein lays the problem for these people who get these sex changes. They discover that that fantastic change that they were hoping for … that was going to make them happy ever after because they were now who and what they felt they had truly been born to be… wasn’t the happy every after that they hoped it would be.
Come on wake up.
So, no I’m not in agreement to the Boys Scouts of America allowing transgender girls into the scouts. Because primarily… because these girls are still girls. Down beneath they still have their vagina.
So, what happens if out on the trail a couple of over zealous boys decide to teach her a thing or 2?
As quietly as it is kept in the military this is quite an issue. Female women in the military get raped… and this happens in large numbers. Female girls on campuses get raped… and this too happens in large numbers… as much as most campuses try to squash it from getting out.
It is a reality.
And why would any girls really want to put herself through watching a bunch of boys with ranging hormones …taking a leak.
And no, I am not into transgender bathrooms either.
And I do not believe I have to go along in order to get along.
I will not forsake my core principles in order to make other people happy. I just cannot do it.
Do you really want me to become a liar by calling him ‘she’ when I know that he is not
I can’t go to hell trying to play other people’s games. I am sorry… and I mean you no
harm. But just do not ask me to play.
And I do not believe in being politically right… when politically right goes against my religious right to not lie… or condone lying or stealing… or deceiving… or fornicating… or adultery … and you know the rest. I just cannot.
So, don’t ask me. Because I have enough things that I may have to answer for of my own without me playing your game …adding to my list…
Now that I have addressed my thoughts on this subject please enjoy the rest of your week. And I know that I’ll get a few responses on this… but that’s is okay.
We are not all going to agree. But 1 thing is for sure we trying to agree on too many things… when most people who play like they agree really do not. So, at least I am honest. And I am not a hater… but a firm believer that the truth is the truth… and hopefully because I spoke truth somebody will be set free…
And anyone… so-called parent who does this thing purposely to their child or children really should be arrest for child abuse. Because they putting their child into the pit of hell… and creating for them a life that cannot lead them to any form of happiness by playing something that they are not.
Do not ruin the life of your child by making them a transgender child. One thing when a person who is old enough to decide certain things for themselves. And quite another when crazy parents do it to their children.
Well, God bless… I’m out. Thanks for reading my blogs. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2017
Add a comment January 31, 2017
I saw the video that Kim says someone took of her during a service some night at her
church, when Kim Burrell goes off the chain proclaiming her dislike of gay people… with particular reference to those in the church.
I also saw the video that Kim made backing or attempting to back away from much of what she said in that video, of her ranting about gay people. My thing in watching this video was this.
‘Kim if you really feel about gay people as you said while standing in the pulpit. Then why back down from it… if you feel that what you had said was right?’
Cause you see if I say something that I think is right… then I am not going to back down from it. Oh, I can change my mind… yes, regarding my thinking. But if I feel that I am correct in my thinking then I am not going back away from what I believe. And I don’t care who may not like it. Unless… again… if I think about it and later begin to regret what I said… or how I said it. Or I might even discover that I was wrong… because that does happen too. And has happened to me.
I mean I would be lying if I said I never regretted saying something. It happens all the time to many of us. We spoke too fast. Or mis-spoke…
But the way Kim was going on and on in that pulpit… I would have to say that she was really versing her sentiments quite definitely. And if what I heard in another video was correct… in that what that person said about her husband, whom Kim is now either divorced from or separated from for some years now… was that he was gay.
I would say that might cause a woman to go on and on about hating gays. That woman who used to sell orange juice years ago… I forget her name. She had been an ex-Miss America when she came out strongly against gay people back in the latter 70’s or 80’s… and boy did they slam her. She lost all kind of contracts behind that… and the orange juice industry was quick to get rid of her. But what a price that industry paid in revenue losses when gay people boycotted orange juice… and boycott it they did. And they won.
With regards to Kim Burrell… whom I often have found to be sharp with her tongue… I find it hard to believe that she did not think about her wardrobe person, or her make-up person, or her hair stylist or everybody else who may possibly be on her team, when she is preparing to get up to perform… because most of them are gay. But I am sure that hit home shortly after she realized that that video got out… had been uploaded on youtube, and the calls started coming in to her.
This is America and, of course, Kim Burrell like everybody else in
America has a right to an opinion on whatever she wants to have an opinion on… whether I may or may not agree with her on it.
But where I thought Kim Burrell went too far …was for her to be standing in the pulpit and talking about certain things… like men having ‘p___nis’ in their mouths. Or women with their breasts shaking in front of another woman. It was a bit too much.
Kim went overboard and that is what more than anything I believed killed her… and took away from anything that she was trying to say. She was not preaching… nor was she teaching. But Kim was spouting out vicious remarks of feelings, that maybe she had been harboring for some time and just felt it was okay… for some reason or other… to release those sentiments into the atmosphere at that time… in that church service.
I am a firm believer that the pulpit is not for all types of conversations. Nor is it a place for where we should be standing in it believing that it is okay to just say whatever comes into our narrow minds. The sanctuary and …certainly the pulpit is ‘holy.’ It is holy ground and it is not meant to be a place where we preach hate or condemnation.‘
Who are we to condemn people as though we too were not once lost in sin?
This is the problem I have with many people in the church. They act as though they were never once sinners.
And I really get tired of hearing those people who say, ‘I’ve been saved since I was 3.’
Are you really trying to tell me that since you were a child… and supposedly became saved that you never once sinned?
I will bet that you sinned more than once. And probably did things I never thought to do.
So, the devil is a liar. And those people need to stop telling that ‘I’ve been saved since’ lie.
Why do people want to pretend that they are so holy and righteous …when they are filled with such ‘high looks,’ bigotry and animosity against not just gay people… though gay people always seem to be at the top of everyone’s list… but against everybody but fornicators… adulterers… liars etc….etc…etc.. Because THAT list certainly goes further than just being gay.
Some of these same people voted Donald Trump into office and saw no sin in him. I would not have believed that either… had I not heard and seen them at our national convocation in St. Louis. It was quite disturbing to me. And a couple of them… bishops even… I had to set straight.
Speaking of bishops. Some of these very people are ‘the corrupters.’ Stealing away the lives of many of these young boys, by feasting on them sexually …while proclaiming something else in the pulpit and making jokes about ‘limp wrist.’
This thing is sad. And there are a bunch of hypocrites in the church… in the black church and white church… and everything in between.
Yeah, they can proclaim they hate them… but they lead the choir… play the instruments… sing the sermonic solo.
So, stop playing with yourself… and trying to preach hate, when their is a cleansing that needs to take place. And it is in the hearts of each and every one of us because we have been commanded to love… not condemn or chastise folk because we act like we can’t stomach their sin.
It is not for you to stomach. God who is the creator and is also the finisher. And you don’t know who he is going to clean up and place over you.
He can turn everybody around. Did He not turn you around?
Oh, I forgot. He is still working on you, Kim and everyone else who thinks like her.
I was at the convocation 2 years ago when that guy came out and started proclaiming, ‘I
ain’t gay no more.’
That whole service was like being in the midst of a comedy show. That guy from Orlando who was suppose to preach… was beside himself …just like Kim. And practically the whole area was eating it up… they were rolling over in laugher of this guys homophobic tyrants.
It was so good to them that the video department sold out of that dvd that night… and could not keep up with the demand for it. This I know not because I tried to buy it… but because the next day while waiting on my ride back to my hotel a bunch of people were still laughing over that mockery of a church service. I sat through it, yes… but it was all I could do not to get up and walk out on that guy that night. And I would have had I thought my courtesy driver was outside to take me back to my hotel.
We should stop all this ‘gay mess.’ It is not the only sin… need you think of what you are doing that God may be angry at. Because at the end of the day… that is what really should concern you more than anything else. Because when you shut your eyes… it won’t be that gay man in the choir or up the street whom you will have answer for. But your behavior towards them will surely be an issue before God.
I think we all need to read the Bible more. Because somewhere along the line you are all missing something when you attack anyone who is lost in sin.
And I think that any pastor or anyone who calls him or her self a pastor …or whatever who
invites someone to come and preach at their church and says, ‘You can come to preach but don’t mess with my sissies.’
I think that person needs to remove themselves or the church remove him or her… because they are users. But not Godly. They rather see people not hear the truth… and I am not talking about a bunch of harsh and hard words of condemnation… but ‘the truth’ as to what the Bible says because they desire that everybody in their church or under them know what God desires in order for us to sincerely get into heaven…
Let us not chase people out of the church. But let us work on trying to allow God to do His perfect work in them. The Bible says, ‘faith comes through hearing the word of God.’ They must be allow in the church… so that they do not go to ‘gay churches’ and sit up in there believing that everything is alright… and while they play church that they can make into heaven.
Let us not be that mean …or selfish. Thank God the doors of the church were open for us… or we too would still be out there doing whatever it was that we used to do. And many of you still do… if the truth be told….
Well, God bless… Well, I finally got my chance to say what has been on my mind concerning this subject. I just hope that people will come to love and respect one another and all of our differences. I hate sin and it hurts for me to see people languishing in it. I have many gay friends … and even some family members whom I know will be lost if they fail to change. But I pray that God call them out as He was so kind and gracious enough to do me. And that they have an ear to hear… and God gives them a desire to come out… and stay out.
Well, God bless… I’m out. Thanks for reading my blogs. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016
Add a comment January 9, 2017
It never fails to amaze me just how stupid some men can sometimes be.
What was wrong with Tony Parker that he just could not be true to one of most beautiful women in Hollywood?
Clearly, Eva Longoria loved him. And he appeared to be happy with her.
I recall that when the rumors surfaced regarding his bachelor party and some ‘woman of the night.’ Eva quickly dismissed it. She totally declared it to be false and denounced anyone who dared to even claim such a thing about her then husband to be.
And why not?
Aren’t you suppose to trust the person who your are going to partner yourself to for the rest of your life?
But it would seem that Tony has proven those rumors …and all tho stories to be true.
And he looked so innocent. Perhaps, too innocent.
You often hear men… and many women as well… often belly aching about how they cannot seem to find the right person… a good person… a decent person… a hard working man… or a loving and caring woman. Yet, when presentedd with 1 they fail to be able to appreciate him… or her.
Then there was Rick somebody or other… Oh, yeah… Rick Fox and Vanessa Williams. What a jerk he must have been. Who in his right mind would ever want to be kicked to the curb by Vanessa.
But some of these guys are just to pretty. But then when they lose out on what they had… and find themselves out in the cold reflecting on their errors… it is always too late.
Grow up gentlemen and ladies… learn to appreciate and respect what you have already while you yet have it.
I have had at least 2 men cry in my presence while telling me about their wives. The wife they cheated on… took for granted… could have cared less about… until she was no more. She passed.
As I listen to 1 of them tell me how his wife had been his best friend… his childhood sweetheart… and how he cheated on her so many times… I could not help but think as tears rolled down his face-
“Why is it that you can always see a good thing when it is gone?”
All chances of showing her… or rectifying the situation had been removed. She was dead. Gone forever…and now he didn’t want anybody else. He had stopped with all the other women. All when it didn’t matter… because she was gone.
How sad can that be?
But it happens day in and day out. Some people have everything that anybody could ever want… and they just do not appreciate it.
Today North Korea launched deadly rockets into South Korea killing both soldiers and civilians.
In my Just War’s class this would be called an act of ‘aggression.’
In Political Science there are a couple of ways that ‘aggression’ can be allowed and/or tolerated by the national community. One is for the reason of an ‘assumed threat’ by another nation-state. Or 2 for a reason where 1 country believes that there is real and eminent threat of being struck first.
Because of nuclear weapons small Nation States no longer fear hegemon states… large powerful nations such as the United States or Great Britain… or Russia any more. The power that hegemon states once wheeled has long fallen by the wayside. The ability to create and use nuclear weapons has become the great equalizer. And now small nation states such as North Korea, Iran, Pakistan etc… now feel their muscles beginning to bulge beneath their shirts. And are anxious to have their voices heard around the world on the world stage.
What action can the United States taken against North Korea for shelling a small South Korea island with deadly mortar?
Why do we have to do anything?
Yes, we have to side with our allies. And it is in our best interest to do so.
But when acts of aggression occur do not our allies likewise have an obligation to stand with us?
Today there is only 1 real super power left in this world… and that is the United States. But with soaring illegal immigration around the world… drug wars… rogue states… religious fanatics… and even some very unstable people running some foreign governments… it would seem that other like-minded nations have no choice but to stand with us. There is just too much going on in the world today… for any nation which is an allie of the United States to just sit back.
The ills that face this world take an united effort to quail and try to lay to rest. And that is the force that will overcome rogue nations… religious fanatics and zealots from destroying the world… unity.
Palin’s real world reality is…is that nobody really wants to watch her or her family on television. She is just not that exciting … or intriguing. And the show may hit the dust before its 8 week contract is up.
When the idea for this show was pitched… every thumb in the room should have been turned down towards the table. That is what TV exec’s should have done… tabled it before it got out of the box. But now after the dim ratings i just 2 episodes… they soon will.
Well, we are now almost just 1 day away from Thanksgiving. This afternoon I made 8 apple pies. I have to make at least 2 more tomorrow…and then put a few sweet potato pies into the oven too.
I had bought the peaches for peach cobbler but decided to hold off on that until Christmas.
I do not know about you… but I can’t get to the table quick enough or to that turkey.
Tomorrow, I have to pick up the video camera equipment because I have decided that I wanted to video tape us all together. This year we came awfully close to having lost 1 of my sisters. She suffered a heart attack.
She is doing just fine now… but during the course of the week she was in the hospital all I wanted to do was pray. And is all I did really.
God heard our prayers.
Hope that He has heard yours too. Through the course of a year many situations come up. It is good to be able to depend upon the Lord.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving… I know we shall enjoy ours.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
2 comments November 24, 2010
During the middle of this week, I was out with my son and one of his little friends. As I got into my son’s truck I noticed that she wasn’t her usually jovelle self. I never got a clue until my son said to her over the course of our dinner-
“Oh, don’t start crying.”
To which she responded-
“I can’t help it.”
Shortly thereafter, her cell phoned rang and she answered it. That is when I overheard what the problem was.
She began saying-
“Oooh, boobie. If you take yourself from me…I want be able to hold you. And do for you like I want to…You know how I like to hold you…and yeah cook for you. If you remove yourself I can’t hold you and do that any more.”
I was on the verge of bursting out in laughter because she sounded ridiculous.
In essence, she was begging him to not drop her.
Now, I am not a mean spirited person…but you would’ve had to heard that conversation.
I do not think I could have ever wanted somebody…any humanily body…that bad in my life. Well, maybe I have…
I have been in my share of relationships…but I have never in my life brought myself to begging any one of them to staying with me.
Yes, as hard as it may seem. I have been kicked to the curb more than a few times. And yes, it did hurt. But I never ever begged.
I won’t say that there may have been a time or 2 that I might have liked to have begged. But I didn’t do it.
I have never dropped anybody in my life. But I have been dropped. I do know the pain of being dropped and yet trying to hold on. Believe me…I know it well.
But I never begged.
In my wisdom now…I will tell you this.
Anybody you have to beg to keep is not worth trying to hold on to. And no matter how much you beg…eventually they are going to leave you anyway. So, let them go from the on-set of whatever the situation is and they start telling you it is over. And get on with the mourning process.
Because in the end…you are going to end up mourning it anyways.
So, better to start now rather than later…because you would be just putting it off. And it will certainly be just as painful…if not more.
When somebody wants to leave you…they have their reasons. And unless there is some type of benefit to staying with you…then they’re gone. They may come back for a little while…but sooner or later they will be gone for good.
So, release them and let them go now. Soon enough you will be mourning over the next one.
As I stated in another one of these blogs…I had never been in type of relationship until I was 25 years old. And I have also told you that… I have never dated. Well… any boys… or men. As sometime after becoming 25, I did what they called…‘came out as a lesbian.’
I would say that I never really ‘came-out’ per-se. As my profession wouldn’t let me…that is to say…because I was popular as a radio announcer I never presented myself as being openly gay. Then, of course, there were my parents…and I would have never done anything to embarrassed them. And I did not mind keeping my life to myself…and among my close friends. It was, after all, my life.
I never felt that I had to go around telling everyone what it was that I did in the bedroom…nor I was interested in what other people did in their’s…just as long as it did not involve children.
At any rate, most of my relationships during that period of my life only lasted for about 6 months or under. Once I becamed involved with someone it always seemed to me as though it could not get past 6 months. Finally, one did…because she was determined to be the one to do it. She had told me that on several occasions…that’s how I know. It lasted for all of 9 years…but even then she could only take but so much of me. And finally, she too…kicked me to the curb.
I must say that I did not mind when it happening…but what hurt was how it happened. The relationship had began to turn several years prior…and we had evolved into more or less just being friends. And I could live with that…that is why I didn’t mind that she left…exited my life…and fnally kicked me to the curb.
She was exceedingly beautiful, and perhaps one of the smartest persons I had ever met. She was well read and well versed on every subject…truly. And there was one other thing about her.
She saw in me something that I never saw. And she was always telling me that she saw where I was going to be…and that she was not going to let me embarrassed her once I got there.
So, she was always correcting me…polishing up my speech…reading over my text…pointing out business fawls…and huge personality gafts in me. I must say that without her…I would not be half of what I am today businesswise or otherwise. God took that situation and used it for His good.
But eventually…yes, even she kicked me to curb.
But I never begged.
That relationship had become a bit toxic for me. But as I had never really been in any other long term relationship… and because of my own nature… though I wanted out… I couldn’t say it. So, I’m happy that she ended that relationship for me.
There are just some things perhaps… that I will never be good at. And I think that this is one of them…kicking somebody to the curb.
I can take it…but I don’t think that I could ever dish it out. But nobody better test me on it…because I am not all that forgiving.
Some people, however, are masters at it. But not me.
But thank goodness when it is over…and you have finally gotten over it. As a rule my mourning process…was always for a 2 year period. And many times at the end, I found myself wondering what it was that I had seen in that person in the first place. Except for, of course, the person with whom I was with for 9 years.
Yes, I got over it. Which is usually done by finding someone else.
Isn’t that always the way?
It can really speed up that process.
You lament somebody…until you find somebody new.
I have found…that through those years…having always been the one who was kicked to the curb. I have found…that usually when I got over it…I was over it. I do not look back…but there had been some laments. But It was not on my part.
Time does it, I think. People often have a tendency to look back and wish they hadn’t done something.
So, move on.
Forget about Boobie.
Can anyone you’ve given such a horrid nickname to really be that good?
I think not. And certainly not enough worth begging for.
As I listened to that girl…and if you want me to say…young lady…I could not help but be thankful to God…I no longer go through anything like that any more.
God is good.
Well, I just love Obama.
And yes, he was right to fire whomever that was who thought it was a good idea to fly Air Force One into the protected air space over the Statue of Liberty.
Of course, it was going to bring back memories of 9/11.
And yes…people would believe that New York City was again under attack.
How could they not?
That was the exact same air space…which every New Yorker knows is protected air space…that those airplanes flew over that hit the World Trade Center causing the earth to shake…the buildings to fall…people to jump for their lives…dark clouds of heavy smoke, suet and human ashes…amid streets of rumble …bodies… much havoc… and panic.
That day will never be erased from the minds and hearts of every New Yoker. It was one of the most horrible days that I can remember.
It was a day of much confusion and panic… because no one knew exactly what was going on. Many believing that the world was coming to an end…or that someone had declared war upon us…the darkness that fell upon New York that day left an undelible mark across the world…and particularly among those in New York City…and the tri-state area that will never be removed throughout the history of this country.
And all for a photo op?
That person had to be insane.
I am happy that Obama is letting those who work for him…know that he is no joke. And that he is going to demand from them that they operate as professional and thinking…rational people. And never dare to do anything that might embarrass him.
Got up late today…after 12 noon and do not know what time I finally went to bed…though I laid down thinking I was only going to stretch out for a few minutes. Yes, I am still trying to put the finishing touches on my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, and the promo for youtube.
Well, it is getting closer…and closer to that time. And I can’t wait.
And as a final note…please do not let me be anywhere and overhear any conversations of yours. I do not easedrop…and I do not like getting all up into people’s business. I really do not want to be a party to it…but if you are going to sit up around me and put your business all out in the street. I just might formulate an opinion on it.
Well, enjoy your weekend.
And you know something else…after looking at that first picture of the Statue of Liberty…that is not a woman.
Which reminds me of another time my son took me out this past week…with yet another friend of his. For most of time we sat at that table eating…we were debating whether or not our waitress was a man or woman. I had never noticed anything…and had always felt she was a woman.
But it was my son’s friend who began that whole controversy. And at the end finally I had to concede after taking a more indepth study of the person…arms in particular…that yes it was a man. But she was nice anyway…not matter what. And she…well, he did his job well.
Which reminds me of yesterday, while waiting around in the salon…I happened to overhear a conversation between a young girl and I guess…maybe her aunt or somebody related to her.
The girl was probably no more than 10 or 12. She was disclosing to the older person how someone in her class was talking about her…and calling her ‘gay.’
It made me think of that 11 year old boy who had hung himself and it was reported that he had done so because some kids or one of the other boys at his school was doing the exact same thing…calling him ‘gay.’
I think that it is sad…that such burdens are placed upon children today.
Back when I was going to school…kids taunted you by calling you ‘fat’…or ‘scary cat’…or ‘chicken.’
It is a shame that all these sexual labels and stigmatisisms are placed upon them…these children…teens…pre-teens etc… at such early ages…when it is hard enough just trying to go to school and get through your school lessons.
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Add a comment May 9, 2009
Felt like I wanted a donut…
Why can’t I have a donut if I want one?
So, every now a then…sometimes I just feel like I want a donut. Sometimes it could be a piece or chocolate cake…and real good chocolate cakes are hard to find nowadays. But sometimes I feel like I want one of those old time good tasting pieces of chocolate cake. Now, that I might have to have a couple of pieces if I could find it.
I don’t know…I guess from time to time we all get a taste for something…andwhen we do… Well, we just want it.
Well, this evening about 9:30 p.m. my urge was for a donut.
So, I jumped into the car and headed for the local Dunkin Donuts. But the one near the house was closed…just goes to prove I don’t get a donut urge often…otherwise I would have known that.
So, since I really wanted this donut and the place nearest to the house was closed…and I was already in the car…and even though gas is $4.16 per gallon…I decided to go for it…and get my donut anyways.
I drove right pass the second donut place believing that it too was going to be close. And even though I had my glasses on…I totally missed the big bright and very lit up sign reading “Dunkin Donuts.”
So, I had to make a u-turn. And as I drove home smacking on my donuts :). I started thinking wouldn’t it have been nice to be able to say-
“Baby, I want a donut.”
And someone would get up and go get in the car and get me a donut.
At any part of the day when my mother would come in, shower and lay down on the bed…if she desired something she rarely called any of us…her 8 children. Instead she could be heard calling for my father.
She would call him softly…never in a barking or rough tone…and she never called daddy by his real name…instead she called him, Douglas.
Whatever daddy was doing he would stop and go to mommie and see what it was that she wanted.
And sometimes mommie would just say-
“Douglas, bring me a glass of water.”
Daddy never complained…and always went to do or get whatever my mother would ask him for.
He was a businessman who had a very prosperous barber business that had serviced many generations of men in our town. His business did so well that we were literally the richest people in our church, probably on our street and perhaps in many of the circles in which we travelled even as teens and young adults.
They were very good together…my parents.
Daddy was 15 years older than mommie but you would have never had guessed it.
I have never met anybody who had all the capabilities of daddy. He could have been a tailor if he had wanted to…or a chef, or a mechanic, or an architech. Daddy could do everything. And he could do them all well…even better than well. He was superbly proficient in everything that he could do…and there was nothing that daddy could not do.
Sundays and Mondays were daddy’s days to cook. Though my mother would help out on Sundays doing things like baking (cakes, pies, fresh rolls etc.) and making macaroni & cheese, and cooking the greens…things like that. But daddy prepared all the meats which would entail him cutting up many onions, scallions and all kinds of spices.
He always seasoned his meats hours before cooking…and if it was curry goat he would season it the night before. Daddy would take his hands and mesh the seasoning into the meat. He would pour in hot water and allow the seasoning along with the curry and the onions to steam into the meat before placing it into the refrigerator to sit overnight. That is how he always cooked the curry goat.
He also prepared the rice, whether it was rice and beans, or regular rice, mashed potatoes etc.
Both mommie and daddy were fantastic cooks…and they could do everything from scratch. And didn’t have to refer to one cookbook.
Dinner was always a feast at our house no matter what day it was…but on Sundays even more so…we would 2 or 3 meats to chose from. And there were always guest whom my mother would bring home from church to share our Sunday dinners with us.
It wasn’t until I lived in Chicago…and was a thousands miles away from home that I came to realize just how special it was to be able to open up your home to other people. When I was in Chicago, I was away from family and all my friends…and there were many times when I was in need. This, of course, I never shared with my parents. No, I couldn’t do that.
I went to Chicago to become this big-time radio personality. As bad as things sometimes got for me, I managed to even send some money ocassionally…though at one point I was virtually homeless in Chicago.
Sending money home to my parents was something I had seen my parents do throughout our years of growing up…so, when I became of age it was what I wanted to do too. So, I sent…I never thought about whether or not my parents needed it. Because clearly my parents had more than enough…as our family was exceedingly blessed.
But while in Chicago there were some holidays that came around…Christmas and Thanksgiving. And when you are alone and away from your family for the first time in your life it can be very sad and lonely those 2 holidays.
While in Chicago, I never got a job on a radio station…but I had talked to Tom Joyner, Barry Mayo, BB Banna and several others on a regular basis trying to get in. But I ended up working at a church instead as a church secretary. I was in need and after a long period of looking I finally landed this job. At first I felt myself above it. “Me”….a secretary….”me…”
Big time me…a church secreatary?
But my no soon turned to a yes when I met my would be boss during an interview…which I nearly refeused to go to because “it was just too beneath me.” Thank God, I did not.
Of all the jobs I have ever had that job has meant the most to me, and I know today that it was right where God intended for me to be. For the lessons that it taught me and the greatest example of mentoring and leadership anyone could have possibly have gotten…I got there.
The church was 6th Grace United Presbyterian Church, 35th and Cottage Grove, on Chicago’s South Side…right down the street from the White Sox stadium. The Pastor was the late Dr. A. L. Reynolds, Jr…who from the moment I met him, I began to marvel at him. I have never met anybody like Dr. A. L. Reynolds, Jr…not even to this day. And at the moment I met him I knew he was special…but I had never realized that I had stepped into the presence of greatness until years later. What a man.
Why am I telling you this story…I have no idea. I will have to go back and read some of what I just wrote to see where I’m suppose to be going with this….give me a minute….
I sometimes get lost.
Oh, yes…oh, yes….
While at home with our parents, I used to wonder why we couldn’t spend our Sundays and holidays with just us…just our family. Why did we always have to have people over our house, eating our food and taking up our time?
I was selfish…terribly so.
It wasn’t until I was a thousand miles away from home that I came to realize just what a blessing my parents…my mother and father were to other people.
My parents didn’t invite people into our home who had a lot of things, or who were rich or popular…they invited people who didn’t have family, some were even in nursing homes…whom we would go and pick up to bring to church then take them to our house for dinner and back to church, and then later back to their nursing home at the end of the day.
They, my parents…they brought sunshine into people’s lifes and they never asked for anything in return. They enjoyed doing it.
In Chicago, I spent 2 holidays in the home of the Rippleton’s. Mr. and Mrs. Rippleton were the parents of the late singer Minnie Rippleton…and they had been members of 6th Grace. They were extremely nice people and full of alot of fun. Mr. Rippleton was a real comedian. Mrs. Rippleton sometimes talked to me about Minnie and the cancer, and how difficult it had been for Minnie…and their family watching her go through that.
My very first day on that job…I got a call early in the morning from someone asking to speak to Dr. Reynolds.
The woman said, “Hello, this is Minnie Rippleton. Is Dr. Reynolds in?”
I almost dropped the phone…that 6 octive voice, Grammy Winner…Minnie Rippleton was on the other line talking to me. And here I had come to Chicago to get into radio…and couldn’t get in. And here was Minnie Rippleton on the other end of my office line…the very first call on my first day on the job.
CLICK to LISTEN Loving You – Minnie Ripperton They don’t make music like this anymore…nor like her family, the Rippertons, whom I shall always love and have the greatest and highest regard for… for their love and hospitality to me… as well as the whole 6th Grace family.
Minnie died that evening but she had called and conversed with Dr. Reynolds, her spiritual advisor and Pastor. She had called in the first thing that Monday morning.
It was also at 6th Grace that I met Harold Washington…but that is another story for another time.
And perhaps I will get around to telling about when I met James Baldwin…what a day that was. I never met anyone like him…he was quite gracious. But that too is another story that perhaps I will get around to sharing with you at some other time.
Let me go back to telling you about my father.
Daddy could make the best ice tea, Kool-aide and lemonade. He also made homemade ice cream, in a variety of tropical favors, which we all gladly churned on Sundays.
Daddy was so good at everything including his business that in the morning men would be outside our door waiting on him to give him a ride to work…so that they could be the first one in his barber chair.
Daddy caught the bus to work usually. His barber shop was in the downtown area of our town. He always got up on time and would arrive at his shop every morning that it was due to open, Monday-Saturday, at 7:30 a.m. where a few of his customers were sure to be there waiting on him. And because he was so popular…this was, of course, the reason why some of them would come to the house to give him a ride.
Daddy loved it. He loved his customers…and always respected their time.
The one thing daddy never did…he didn’t eat sandwiches.
Mommie always prepared daddy a hot lunch which she would drive down to him some time during noon. But most of the time daddy would bring the food home mostly untouched because he would never get a chance to eat it. He was always busy taking care of customers right up until the time he closed his shop for the night.
And when he came home mommie always had him something good to eat…and it was always fresh and hot. He didn’t eat what we ate. Where mommie might make us spaghetti some nights, or homemade chicken pot pie, or meatloaf on others etc…which of course all kids love…but daddy would get stuff like smoothered steak with green peppers and onions over mashed potatos, and some sort of vegetable.
Another thing about daddy…he was a saver. He was also one of those people who as soon as a bill came in he would pay it. He never waited on due dates to pay anything. He managed money very well…and had the bank accounts to prove it. And though he only had a 7th grade education which render his reading skills weak…he could sure count money. He stayed on top of his money and his bills.
Though my mother worked as well…her money was her money. Daddy provided for our family. He paid for all our household expenditures, mortgages, grocery bills etc. And anything to do with us…he paid for it.
Daddy was clearly the husband that the Bible calls men to be…a provider. And our household wanted for nothing.
As children we spend our Christmas’ in Florida…and by the time we would return home over the holiday it was as if Toys R Us had made a special trip just to our house.
As we grew up we started spending our summers in Florida instead.
My parents spared nothing.
When they wanted a new car…they bought it. And they bought nothing that we all could not fit in.
When we went on trips…we all went.
When they decided to go to Jamaica…it was a family affair…which was the way my parents treated everything.
My mother loved to shop and that is what she did with her money. But she not only loved shopping for herself…but for us as well…as well as for daddy. At eighteen she was still buying all of my clothes. And everything she bought was top shelf.
And that is how daddy bought too. He did not buy cheap…and he tailored all his own clothes. He had the measuring tape, the pins and the white chalk to make the marks…the whole works. Daddy took everything serious. He was very percise and took such care in whatever he did. And he could sew by hand…as well as anyone could with a sewing machine.
In the basement he had all his tools; saws, drills, snakes for the plumbing system (which comes in handy when you have kids), levers…everything. Because daddy could build and make things, and was always working around the house.
Including gardening…daddy did that too…as well as service our cars and bicycles.
Mommie loved daddy’s tomatoes, green peppers and cabbage, strings beans, greens etc…
Yes, along with everything else daddy also had a green thumb too.
I don’t know who taught daddy…but they taught him well.
Though daddy might not have been able to read well…that, however, never stopped him from picking up a book and trying to sound his way through a few words…or from starting his business. And when I think on it…the thought of me helping him to learn to read never even came into my mind. I do not know why.
Mommie had been the first black nurse in the little town she grew up in down in a small town in Florida. When she retired she had been a nurse supervisor at a state institution.
Their schedules rotated around their children. We were their pride and joy.
They treated us to everything…everything good. They were not drinkers, smokers, cursers or things like that…nor did they allow cards or card playing in their house. Though we could play Ol’ Maid, checkers and stuff like that. And I do not know how Daddy could do it…but he was a master even at checkers.
Who could beat him?
Before you knew it he had the board loaded with kings…and just blowing you away with his moves taking everything you had on the board. What a mind.
We were never allowed into people’s houses, nor could any of our friends come into our house. As my parents said that they had had 8…and that 8 was enough.
We were not allowed to stay over people’s houses. And they did not believe in paying us any allowances for helping out around the house. Which sometimes included getting on our knees and scrubbing the floors, or wiping down all (and I do all) the woodwork in the house etc…etc… Oh, how I hated those Saturday mornings when we would be waken up to find buckets in the kitchen with rags in them…waiting on us.
From our parent’s house have sprang graduates from Moorehouse, Florida A & M, Princeton, University of Alabama, University of Kentucky, Brandeis University, etc…etc…and they are still coming. We’ve got a few more who will graduating in a couple of years and some whom we have began to set up for Spellman and Harvard…you’ve got to plant these seeds early.
My parents were believers in education. My mother was always taking classes. I can’t tell you how many times she took typing… she kept flunking it. But she kept on taking it anyways. She also took bookkeeping and a few other classes…including voice lessons.
Mommie definitely could not sing…but that didn’t stop her. I have to admit that the voice lessons did do a little good though.
Whenever mommie would go to school for a conference regarding me…she would come home with the report to my father. Whenever I tried to explain to my father about the teacher and how she didn’t like me…my father would always stop me short…and never hear whatever it was I was trying to tell him.
He would glare at me saying-
“The teacher got her’s you’ve got to get yours.”
I hated hearing those words…but today I understand them well. And daddy was right. I’ve even come to recite them a few times myself.
Daddy was full of witticisms also. He was some kind of special…and I don’t know how he and mommie met. But one thing for sure they sure loved each other.
Yes, daddy was very special and if ever I were looking for someone…I doubt that I would ever ever find anyone quite like daddy.
Well, if you feel like a donut…I hope you have someone who can go get you one. Or go with you…or take you to get one.
I hope I didn’t rample on and on…and that you got some sense out of this blog.
Enjoy your day…and I’m working on my rib business. I have spent so much money that I have actually run out of money. I have the whole set-up but I don’t have the money to buy the goods. So, maybe we will up and running by next weekend…this weekend looks a bit bleek. But it is all part of the process. Sometimes you have just got to learn how to go with the flow.
You know I really learned that from my friend in New York whom we are expecting to pass.
In her words…”Whatever God allows.” ….God bless… ©2008
Add a comment July 16, 2008