Posts tagged ‘teen sex ‘
I’m sorry but I can definitely not agree.
I understand how the world now feels that it must agree with every whim that comes rolling along, in order to not offend anyone.
But what about what is right?
Should we forsake everything that is right in order to appease everything in this world?
I think not. And I also believe it puts this world … though it has already been… on the road to destruction long ago… but it is just edging closer and closer to it.
It appears to me that we at this moment in history …we are creating our own pitfalls and devastation.
You cannot run with everything and believe you will finish the race successfully. Somewhere along the line something falls… or everything begins to fall out of your arms. This means you loose something.
We are loosing many things these days… and it mostly boils down to primarily loosing our way as people… as a civilization …as people who live in a ‘real world.’ Not a make-believe world… anything we want to be… or anything we want it to be world. But a REAL WORLD… with REAL WORLD ORDER… standards… qualifications… variety… and variances created by God. Not by us.
God created this world order. And He created it as He would have it to be.
Can man upset world balance?
Yes, man can.
When we go tinkering with things which we should not be tinkering with problems are sure to arise. And they have.
This whole cross dressing and transgender thing is going to destroy this planet. And this thing is booming.
There is a problem which arises when we start picking and choosing what gender we decide we should be. Or maybe what gender we decide we are going to raise our children as being… like saying you wanted a boy but got a girl.
So, you arbitrarily decide you are call your girl Sam and dress her only in clothes of boys… and have her live her life as Sam. And never let her in on the fact that she is a girl… but tell and teach her as if she is boy.
So, Sally grows up believing that she is Sam. Now, this is hypothetical. I just going somewhere with this scenario.
Now, Sally did not realize until some time in school that she … or rather he (Sam) was different from all the other boys. She noticed that perhaps she looked more like a girl. Then she noticed that she had started to develop breasts. When she was in the boy’s bathroom she noticed that she was missing something that all the other boys seem to have when they peed.
But you raised Sally believing that she was Sam.
You thought that you were God. That you could create whatever you wanted your child to be. When God gave you the child He had deemed for you… a girl… not a boy.
Now, Sam is having problems at school. He is disassociating from all the other kids. He feels that he does not fit in. He feels different.
Most of us grew up feeling different. Many of us grew up feeling like we didn’t fit in. These are natural emotions for kids to go through… except for those who happen be popular and always seem to be in the midst of plenty of people who rush to be with them.
But you weren’t 1 of them. When you look into the mirror you see somebody else. You feel like if you could be somebody else… that then you would be happy. Maybe you wish you were your sister or brother or a different sex. Or your mom or dad. And you begin to become that someone else.
Kids are always pretending… and playing make believe. But when does this become something else for some kids or teens… or even adults?
It becomes something else as long as you harbor or meditate of being that different person… that you begin to fantasize yourself to be. And after a while you meet up with someone… because it only takes 1 mixed up and highly confused person to send you on a trip you may never come back from… a trip to convert yourself into a fantasy you.
It is all make believe. Because we are who we are… and there is no changing it no matter how many pills are taken. How deep the voice may get… or how much facial hairs you get… or breasts you develop. You really can’t change you.
Oh, outwardly yes. But inwardly… no. And that inside person who really determines who you truly are. And it goes beyond your DNA… and THAT you definitely cannot change.
So, you change your name, your driver’s license, your city or town… and the pretense really begins. Because you are looking for a fresh start as this ‘new you.’
Though you may be able to deceive many people. The issue is… how long can you keep up the pretense. Because everyday you step out the door pretending to be who you were not born to be is really just a pretense… and you will never ever be able to get away from that.
What I find interesting is how in the world do people who go through all this really believe that becoming …or attempting to become another gender means that they are not gay?
Do they not want to engage in sexual activity with someone of the sex they are pretending to no longer be?
Then how can this not be gay behavior?
Oh, because you now associate yourself as the opposite sex… and call yourself ‘he’ rather than ‘she’… you believe that you automatically became the ‘he’ or ‘she’ you wanted to be?
Do not deceive yourself. It is all a charade. And the only 1 who got fooled was you.
Men who want men… are not going to go for a man who becomes a woman. Because if they wanted a woman they could get a ‘real’ woman… not some one pretending to be 1.
Women who love women… might like a dyke looking woman… many like that … but not all. But if a woman wanted a man, do you not believe she could find herself a ‘real’ man… and not someone playing and eating pills to be 1?
And therein lays the problem for these people who get these sex changes. They discover that that fantastic change that they were hoping for … that was going to make them happy ever after because they were now who and what they felt they had truly been born to be… wasn’t the happy every after that they hoped it would be.
Come on wake up.
So, no I’m not in agreement to the Boys Scouts of America allowing transgender girls into the scouts. Because primarily… because these girls are still girls. Down beneath they still have their vagina.
So, what happens if out on the trail a couple of over zealous boys decide to teach her a thing or 2?
As quietly as it is kept in the military this is quite an issue. Female women in the military get raped… and this happens in large numbers. Female girls on campuses get raped… and this too happens in large numbers… as much as most campuses try to squash it from getting out.
It is a reality.
And why would any girls really want to put herself through watching a bunch of boys with ranging hormones …taking a leak.
And no, I am not into transgender bathrooms either.
And I do not believe I have to go along in order to get along.
I will not forsake my core principles in order to make other people happy. I just cannot do it.
Do you really want me to become a liar by calling him ‘she’ when I know that he is not
I can’t go to hell trying to play other people’s games. I am sorry… and I mean you no
harm. But just do not ask me to play.
And I do not believe in being politically right… when politically right goes against my religious right to not lie… or condone lying or stealing… or deceiving… or fornicating… or adultery … and you know the rest. I just cannot.
So, don’t ask me. Because I have enough things that I may have to answer for of my own without me playing your game …adding to my list…
Now that I have addressed my thoughts on this subject please enjoy the rest of your week. And I know that I’ll get a few responses on this… but that’s is okay.
We are not all going to agree. But 1 thing is for sure we trying to agree on too many things… when most people who play like they agree really do not. So, at least I am honest. And I am not a hater… but a firm believer that the truth is the truth… and hopefully because I spoke truth somebody will be set free…
And anyone… so-called parent who does this thing purposely to their child or children really should be arrest for child abuse. Because they putting their child into the pit of hell… and creating for them a life that cannot lead them to any form of happiness by playing something that they are not.
Do not ruin the life of your child by making them a transgender child. One thing when a person who is old enough to decide certain things for themselves. And quite another when crazy parents do it to their children.
Well, God bless… I’m out. Thanks for reading my blogs. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2017
Add a comment January 31, 2017
You would think that 1 of the hottest topics at the Atlanta Hair Show would have been about some fantastic hair-do… but it wasn’t. Way from it.
The buzz on the floor and from booth to booth was about Will Smith and Jeda Pickett-Smith.
I had long ago wrote a glowing blog about them being great role models and a beautiful couple… but who knew that all was not what it seemed?
They seemed to be the perfect couple. Happy… and certainly with it all going on. But who knew what dark little secrets lurked deep down within?
Who knew that it was at all as it was made to seem?
I thought them happy. I thought them perfectly matched. I thought that they truly loved one another. I thought that there was nothing that could drive them apart. I thought…
Well, I thought all was well. But it seems that it wasn’t. And that it was far from being well.
It was my son that broke the news to me saying-
But who knew?
Well… I knew someone who knew… and she told me it many years ago saying-
“Awh, come on, Bern… don’t you see it. If you don’t then you are the only 1 who doesn’t.”
But I refused to accept it. But it seems that she was right… that same friend who I wrote about in my blog about the DeBarge family… the 1 who I used to laugh with when we would giggle over, and pick fun at how sissy the DeBarge brothers all seemed. Yeah, her…
And he said they got tired of having an open marriage.
I said –
“What? What do you mean an open marriage?”
I was thinking he was talking about the usual kind of thing maybe some other woman … or possibly another man. The man part was right… but he wasn’t talking about Jeda.
It was Will.
And my son said that everybody at the hair show was talking about it. Since the hair show was made up of a large number of gay men… I immediately began to think that this had to be true. Because gay men are in the know about such things as this. And from men to women at the hair show… they were all buzzing about it.
I have yet to pull myself up off the floor behind this. Some things really do come as such a surprise… and this was 1 for me. Though I have to say it again… my friend had told me it long ago, when Will was playing as the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.
It was something I guess I never wanted to see… and perhaps way down deep I was hoping it wasn’t so. And I STILL AM.
I really thought Will and Jeda made for a great couple. They seemed to be great parents …and they seemed to place a high value on family.
Though I wasn’t particular about their new-found religious beliefs… and how after coming into all that money they decided that they wanted to convert into becoming members of the Church of Scientology. Which struck me as a Hollywood thang… for the $20 million plus crowd. Which Will stepped into many years ago after leaping from the small screen onto the large screen… with a massive following.
It is disappointing really. But I guess we are all chased by demons at some point or other in our lives. The trick is to not allow them to consume us. And to fight until we win… and not them.
There seems to be a rash of men and women stepping into the gay lifestyle. For some it seems to be hip…even fashionable. But for others it is something that they have been drawn into … whether by their own fascination …or by some type of inducement… enticement… inquisitive nature … or whatever have you. And clearly I forgot about acts of abuse as another root cause for some.
But for whatever reason it seems to be growing. Or maybe it is that it is more open. Perhaps, the latter is probably the real case.
And it seems to me that I see so many young school kids making choices at early ages about such things. And many of them… especially the girls are deep into role-playing… meaning dressing or acting out the male role.
Having come out ‘the life’… meaning having been gay myself… I cannot help but feel for them. So, I study them and watch them… and can’t seem to take my eyes off them. Because I hate to see anyone commit their lives to something that is so anti-them.
I can’t say that I hated me. But I did hate what I looked like… hated my size… and I can’t remember what else. But I never really liked me.
I never thought I was pretty or anything like that. And my interest were not really in girl-ly things.
But I never desired to be a boy… and certainly not a man. I did like that part about me.
So, I never considered role-playing as an option for me… though for most of my relationships with women …I was designated as what would have been the male role. Because even in not playing roles… somehow you end up in them. Somebody is going to be more fem …and somebody butch. And it is because that is how life is… and we imitated life and the various categories of life as 2 people together.
But I really get disturbed at seeing so many young people gravitating towards an alternate lifestyle. And particular those who are so young… young girls and boys in the 7th or 8th grade.
CLICK. It has just dawn on me that I was in the 9th grade when some girl first started following me around… and later began to stick letters into my locker. How quickly we forget.
I rarely think of it now. Her letters turned into phone calls when she happen to come upon my sister 1 day… telling my sister that I had given her our phone number… and that she had lost it. So, my sister accommodated her by giving it to her again… or so she thought.
This is when I found out that all those mysterious letters in my locker were coming from a girl. It is funny because I never ever talked to that girl face 2 face… until much later in our lives. Because for 1 thing I was afraid of her…
Once I realized what was going on I soon began to notice that that girl used to walk pass all my classrooms. She used to just stand there outside my classrooms looking through the glass door at me. She also used to sneak into the 9th grade lunch… as she at the time was only an 8th grader… and she would always sit somewhere across from me… watching me… staring at me. It is funny how I had never noticed her before… but then I had thought it was some boy sending me all those letters.
Though the girl never tried to hurt me… or ask me to do anything sexually… I nevertheless kept my distance from her.
Believe it of not I had actually finished this blog…BUT LOST EVERYTHING BELOw THIS. So, at some point maybe I may come back and redo it. But not right now …or tonight it is after 4 AM…
So, please forgive me while I get some sleep.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
Add a comment August 24, 2011
Got up very early again this morning…but I was not nearly as productive as I had been on Saturday. In fact, I got up going to the bathroom and then stopped to read a chapter in my Bible…and then returned to bed.
I spent the past couple of nights sweating out my cold…of course, I can certainly see a vast difference. Been drinking plenty of fluids too…and also been making sure I take my iron tablets. Got to thicken up my blood…which is why I am also enjoying my Cream of Wheat. I am working on my 2nd box of it now…and still enjoying every minute of it. And as I do…it makes me think of how my father used to make it for us as children.
Mondays was our father’s day to care for us. As he was a barber…Sundays and Mondays were his 2 days off. I do not know how they worked out their schedules…but my mother and father did have it worked out as we were never left in the care of other people.
Daddy worked days and mommy worked nights. She worked at a state institution as a nurse supervisor…as I had previously stated in another one of my blogs…my mother had been the first black nurse in the little southern town where I was born.
Everything my parents did centered around us…their children. When they bought their first house…it was less than a block away from the little grade school that most of us went to…there was a bakery at the corner…a drug store…a small corner grocery store and deli…a bus stop…and we were only three houses in from the corner of a main roadway. Not to mention as I see by the city records today…they had bought the largest parcel of land of any 2 family house within our block. They were wise. And on top of all of that…there is a college right across the street.
So, when I eat Cream of Wheat it takes me back to those days…when daddy used to make it for us on cold mornings just as were going off to school. Some mornings he would fry us this thing called festival by some Jamaicans…or fried dumplings. He could really make those things…no matter what you call them. And we loved them…we filled them up hot out of the pan with plenty of butter and jelly…or some times with lots of syrup and butter…but they were good…always. But daddy was a great cook…and for that matter…so was our mother.
I am watching the snow fall down…and it is steady. It had been rain. It had rained straight through the night…and hard. Had all that rain been snow we would have been buried up under it right now. And that rain had been steady right up to the time it just turned to snow not so long ago. Now it is just a steady flow of un-yielding snow. I will soon have to go out and start shoveling…cold or no cold. But I am not going to complain…it is still beautiful.
I remember my friend in New York…the elderly woman, the church mother, who used to go to our church who passed this past August. You know I had never realized until some time later that she had passed on my mother’s birth date. And last night as I was thinking of her…my friend…it also dawned on me that when I had gone to the hospital to visit her…that the floor I had to switch from elevator to elevator on…had the same name as our street…the street that my parent’s house in on.
It is not a common name…and you do not see it everywhere. I thought that to be divine providence…you know…God’s working in the matter. I was very blessed to have had her…to have met her…and that she counted me as a friend. Her guidance to me shall forever be treasured.
In reading the article on religion…it is odd to me that a country founded on the freedom to practice religious beliefs would today be shifting away from having religion at all. But these days were bound to come.
When you reflect back on the years following 1962 when the push began to remove prayer from public schools…then anything bearing the word “God”…the challenge to remove the 10 Commandments from court houses and so forth…then this really should be of no surprise.
I don’t know…perhaps it is just me. But where were all those anti-gay marriage people…and anti-abortion people when all of this was going on?
Droves of anti-gay marriage people come out picketing and marching…and demonstrating…against something which does not affect them…and will never affect them. But when something like taking prayer out the public school system…removal of the 10 Commandments from the court houses and other federal buildings…removing the words “In God we trust” off of our U.S. currency…comes up…where are these people?
Prayer was taken out of our school and replaced by sex education…and condoms. The kids today in school learn less about their A-B-C’s, Math, Sciences etc…than they are about condoms and the ‘birds and the bees.’
Kids do not need to learn anything about sex. Nature through all her infinite wisdom and years of expertise in that department has not needed any help…from the day that Adam and Eve ate that fruit from that tree. There does not seem to be one time in history that men and women did not know how to get together to procreate. And now it seems…little kids too. And I won’t blame it all on sex-education…because that would be foolish and quite absurb of me. But I do not see where educating kids about sex…does one thing to prepare them for their future in life.
But if they wanted to really to teach them something in regard to youth parenting…then maybe like those ‘Scared Straight’ programs they used to have years ago…perhaps they should take them to a welfare office where they get to meet and talk to some teenage mothers and see for themselves the pitfalls of pregnancy at young ages. There is nothing like a little one-on-one in reality in order to get the whole picture.
Or maybe…have them go do work study hours in places like a welfare office or WIC office aiding in in-take service…and they would truly learn a lot that just might give them a reason to pause and to think twice about the consequences of childhood pregnancy.
As I sit here watching the snow…I have been thinking about this guy…this man. I had met him at an event that I gave a few years ago. So, whenever he sees me…he likes to greet me.
Which is fine…I have no problem with that. It is something I became accustom to through my years in radio. Everybody wants to grab you…hug you…kiss you on the cheek. Okay…so, allow it. It is part of the territory…it goes with the turf when you become popular.
But this guy one day while I was in the library computer lab at school saw me…and he came greeting me…kissing me on the top of my head. Okay…fine. I did not say anything about it…but it was on my mind.
But the other day while I was waiting in a bank line…he happened to be passing by and saw me. My back was to the bank door…and he came up behind me. He said something to me grinning…and then kissed me to the back of my neck. I thought nothing of it at first…but later as I got into my son’s truck…in which sat a friend of his whom I was giving a ride to…that is when it hit me.
That guy had kissed me to the back of my neck.
I am very picky. Peculiar…you might even say. I really do not like people getting too familiar with me…and particularly people who I do not really know. And besides…he was not even good-looking. And even if he was…he still out of order…and I am still picky.
After all, this guy started out by sort of hugging me. Then he moved on to greeting me with a light kiss to a cheek…then to the top of my head. And I really should have stopped him then. So, I put it in my mind that the next time I saw that guy I would have to tell him that he could not touch me again.
That time came shortly…while I was once again in the library computer lab. As he approached me…he bent with his arms open ready to embrace me…and I guess kiss me again. But I happened to catch him…right on time…and drew away from him.
I stopped him saying-
“Listen, shake my hand if you want to greet me. But do not kiss me.”
He looked at me oddly.
So, I began to remind him about that day in the bank when he had come in and kissed me on my neck. I told him that anyone seeing that would have thought that we had a relationship and were involved with each other. Then I asked him what he would have thought if he had been standing off somewhere in the distance and happened to see a man kiss me on my neck.
And you know what he said?
“I would have thought that you were involved with each other too.”
“Look, I am a woman of God. I cannot just have people walking up to me and kissing me all over the place like that. Plus that is disrespectful of me for you to do that. You should have more respect of me to even do anything like that.”
Wow, I have truly grown. I am a woman.
Gone are the days when I was a child…and people could do anything to me…or with me.
I have control over me.
And I am not having it.
You will respect me.
Wow… I am woman.
That guy apologized to me…and thanked me for correcting him. I appreciated him accepting my correction. Yet…I felt within myself that it should not have been warranted that I should have had to do such a thing. But men have a way…of taking things for granted…and particularly women.
I felt that many times while working in radio. I hated when my bosses called me ‘sweetheart,’ and ‘dear.’ It was very demeaning to me…while they never greeted each other in such a way…or spoke to each other in such familiar terms. Consciously , sub-consciously or unconsciously…such things historically have been designed to keep women in their place.
When I was a child…I was powerless. When I worked in radio…I had limited power. Today I am my own boss…I wheel power as I may…but yet…I measure it. As I know I can be highly intimidating to some.
But this may come as a surprise to some of you. But I have never been kissed. Not by the male species.
I know I have a son…but that does not mean that I allowed that man to kiss me. And I know that I said in my other blog…that Willis Kattrell…well, he kissed me. And he did. But I think my head was in motion when he did it…so he only caught a portion of my lips. To the side really…of my mouth.
So, I have never been kissed. Not really…though yes many women have kissed me…and I them. But the male species…no.
I never had a boyfriend…and have never dated men.
I am different… Not like most people. And my experiences have been different.
Yet, I am a mother. And I have a fantastically wonderful son. I treasure and love him very much. He too is…different.
This is how I know of generational curses. It was in my mother’s family. And I do realize…that generational curses can be broken. I bear witness to it.
I love the change in my life and look forward to my tomorrow. Perhaps…my husband. I now wish I had had other children. My son often had spoken of it…and still does.
There is this funny thing about me. After having been sexually abused at a very early age…perhaps before or by the age of 10…only twice and by 2 different men…but sometime thereafter, I decided that I wanted to save myself for my husband. I thought I wanted to live in a big house with a white picket fence…with a 2 car gargage…and have all the children that I could have. So, that is what I did…I decided to save myself…and that is what I did.
From the point of whatever age it was…10 maybe less…the last time someone had taken sexual advantage of me…I never became engaged again sexually until some time when I was 25 years of age. At this point…I was only interested in woman. And not just any woman. Gay women…women like me. Women who were upper-wardly mobile and doing something with their lives…professional women mostly in media…though some were doctors, accountants etc…but talented…beautiful…well educated women…who looked and acted womanly.
Not all women who are gay…look it. In fact…many do not. The same is true of men…though the reverse thinking about gays is the myth.
I have no idea as to why I have begun to disclose so much to you…about myself. I shall have to pounder it.
Ahhh…yes… The point.
So, I decided to save myself. Well, at that point I could no longer save certain things as they had been stripped from me. My innocence had been stolen from me. But somehow throughout all the years one thing has remained…my kisses. So, since I have never kissed the male species…or allowed anyone of that species to kiss me directly on the lips…I decided to save it.
I am saving it for my husband…it is the least that I can give him. Unpolluted…un-tampered with…safe within my power…to give…or not to give. So, I am saving it for him. So, no I am not going to let somebody just walk up to me…or sneak up from behind me…and think that he can just come and steal it away from me…not that too. Except for…of course…er, uhm…if his name is Willis Kattrell. (you have just got to read that blog)
And let me just say…that I am still scrubbing my neck today…everytime I step into the shower…I am trying to remove the memory of that man’s lips to the back of my neck.
Well, the snow is slowing up now. And the kids are on their way home from school. I better get out and start shoveling. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Didn’t like the VOGUE cover of Michelle Obama at all…just goes to prove that nobody can do us better than us. Thank God for Essence, Ebony, Jet, VIB, Right-On, Black Enterprise…and everything
else we have today.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on “ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment March 9, 2009
By now you may or may not know that I am highly repulsed by some of the things that teens today are doing. But this really turned my stomach…it is a story which came up over CNN.com regarding 2 Arizona teenaged girls who turned themselves into prostitutes then set about pimping other girls.
The grandmother is outraged…but there is only one problem. She doesn’t believe that her little darling is guilty of such a crime…and so therefore she is anxiously awaiting her day in court. Perhaps it is not the little darling but the grandmother who should be up before the judge. And dare I ask…what of the mother and father of this child…these 2 girls?
How is it that they would put themselves into such a situation?
How could 2 high schoolers get themselves into such as situation…where they were indulged in such a business as prostitution?
And had other school mates working the streets too?
Two 16 year old girls…involved in sex for hire?
Though the article called them ‘pimps.’
What could be going on?
I am sick to my stomach today…I hate reading these kinds of stories.
Can you imagine…that that man operated a day care center?
How old were his victims?
Four…or maybe 2?
I am truly sick to my stomach.
In a 29 city weekend sweep law enforcement officials arrested more than 500 people involved in a child and adult prostitution ring. They had some 48 juveniles, 464 adult prostitutes…and how many of them do you think had been children before becoming of age?
They arrested 55 co-called pimps…with many more out there somewhere. And some just like those young girls in Arizona anxious to take their place. I can think of nothing I feel is worst…than turning children into prostitutes…and ruining the lives of children. There are some things which I think we should not even waste tax-payers money on…such as taking certain people through the judical system. Just lock them up in jail and throw away the keys.
But the problem is…all the wrong people mostly end up in jail. The crooks and criminals somehow always seem to get less time or little to no prison time at all.
There is something about these kinds of stories that just turns my stomach. Perhaps it is because I am a supposed survivor. I don’t know. I just hate these type of stories. I hate to hear about children being abused…or used in such ways as these. Or children because they had been abused continue the cycle of abuse in their lives.
When I was trying to determine what I wanted to do with my life…you know…the kind of things you think about as a child.
“What do I want to be?”
I had read this book called “The Throw away Children.”
The stories in that book were terrible. I don’t believe any child is a throw away…or should be considered as such. But there are some children deemed by society as not having the same value as some others. And this is absolutely wrong.
So, as I thought about what it was I wanted to do I started discounting things. Like…becoming a doctor. I knew I would never be able to stand the sight of blood. So, that was out.
Then I thought of some other things…and I discounted them too. Can’t remember what they were…but I knew whatever they were I did not want to be them. But I soon fell upon becoming a lawyer. I wanted to do or be someone who would advantageous to my people…black people. Something that we needed the most…that is why I thought doctor at first…then somehow came to lawyer.
And so I set about to make that happen. When it was near time for me to enter into the 12th grade…I had already begun thinking about and applying to colleges…mostly black colleges…though I would have loved to have been accepted at University of California Berkley. The Black Panthers were there…Angela Davis was there…the Soledad Brothers… Yeah, that whole black thang was going on…and I wanted to be in the midst of it.
But that book, ‘The Throw Away Children ‘ by Lisa Aversa Richette…motivated me to want to become a criminal lawyer working in juvenile court. It was at the time my desire. I think because I have a passion for children…with particular children who feel lost and have no voice.
While I was a teacher in the high school system…I was often in tune and engaged in trying to encourage my students…as well as other students…some of which I would catch trying to sneak into my classes from time to time. It was during my time as a teacher that I came to realize just how tough some kids really have it…and there is little wonder why they end up doing much of what they do.
During the time I taught…I had never been aware of just how many students were involved in the foster care system before. For some children this was a great alternative to their own families…but for some (many)…it was not. It seems that many people turn to become foster parents solely for the money. And that is very sad. They never see the greater reward…and that is pouring something of value into the lives of those children…by showing them love and kindness…paying attention to them.
Then there are those children which are left to grow up on their own. They are like wild little animals…and many people observing them wonder why? But if they knew where these kids lived…or how they were living…or under what circumstances…and what sexual and other abuses they were subject to…then they would know why the child was acting as he or she was acting.
I have no idea as to what is going on with these female teachers becoming involved with young grade school children. It makes me sick…yes, to my stomach. Because I can’t see what any grown woman…or for that matter…grown man would see or find interesting in a child.
I know that children become infatuated with their teachers. I had my share of admirers. I never realized it at the time…but later on I did in particular one. He even proposed to me time after time. I never took any of it seriously…nor did I indulge him. But after I had left the teaching profession…this boy began calling me in New York.
I found out that he had gotten my number from my son. I wasn’t overly concerned at first…but then he started calling every evening. It did not frighten me…but I really wasn’t interested. By this time I didn’t even think it was cute. I could see that this boy really had an interest in me. So, I just stopped answering his calls. And I think he got the message.
What kind of conversation can I hold with a young boy?
Even one graduated from high school…come on, now.
In ’95, I went to L.A. to shop my screenplays. I had forgotten all about Ojay and his trial…it was months after the shooting had happened. So, though when I used to ride the bus from Woodlawn Hills into downtown L.A and see all the remote TV trucks with their huge satellite dishes…tons of them sitting outside of that court. But I didn’t at the time realize what I was looking at when the bus would drive pass. It is so funny…because I used to think-
“Wow, there must be a big case going on in that court.”
And what made it even funnier…was that during the whole time of the Ojay case…I was glued to the TV. I didn’t miss a beat…from day to day…I wast locked in and tuned to every episode of the Ojay Simpson trail saga until they signed off from day to day.
But when I could not get an agent to represent me or my work…because everybody in L.A. is about who you know…who referred you…who are you connected to. And being connected was all they cared about.
It was like you talked to tons of people all in the right place…but if you couldn’t give a name and didn’t have any ties…the conversation stopped right there. Years later, when I initially went into pre-production with my film, LIFE 101: da real skool…(which is where the 101 in my name comes from)…when I went into pre-production…I started getting all kinds of calls then talking about-
“Let’s do lunch.”
I hated L.A.
I became so frustrated with L.A. that I decided to give up and not leave the hotel room anymore. But my friend…whom I had gone to L.A. to spend some time with while her job had sent her there to audit some banks…she kept on encouraging me saying-
“So, what you couldn’t find an agent. And nobody wanted to see you or read your scripts. Go see a show or go to one of the movie lots. You know that is what you are interested in. So, go check it out.”
And finally, I did. Only because she kept trying to cheer me up.
It is so funny…because you may not believe this. The one day that I decided to go the night before I saw an expose on Prime Time or some show like that…about some male teacher who they tracked from New York to a motel down in Las Vegas. He had taken some very young Jr. High School girl and ran off with her across country. The television segment on the story was very detailed.
So, the next day, I visited Universal Studio’s movie lot…where a lot of television programs are shot. At the time I arrived the only thing going in was the audience for the “Leeza Show.” It wasn’t anything that I wanted but (well, because really I have never watched much television). But…I was there…it didn’t cost anything…and they were letting people in.
When they tape these shows you never know what topics are going to be featured or discussed until the show begins taping. To my surprise that guy…that teacher who had gone to Las Vegas with his little school student was the topic…and he was there.
I never went into that taping with any intentions of saying anything or being a part of any program. But it is very funny how things just seem to happen.
I sat quietly listening and watching taking in everything about the production…how they had someone warm up the audience before the show…the size of the studio…where the cameras were…all the people who worked in conjunction with the show…just the whole behind the scenes thing. This is what interested me…but of course, I was also listening to all the discussion and the questions coming up out of the audience. But there was something that disturbed me.
As that teacher talked about the young girl…her family…and how he just felt sorry for her…how he was trying to help her out…etc…etc… The audience all seemed sympathetic to him. They were eating that garbage up like candy. Here it was…and that girl was very pretty (and it doesn’t matter what she looked like…she was a kid)…he had engaged in sexual activity with this girl…had kidnapped her and taken her across state lines. And they were all just sucking it in like he was some kind of hero…a divine saviour.
“Why wasn’t anybody looking at the whole picture?”
“Did he have any responsibility in this matter?”
“Hadn’t he taken advantage of that young girl?”
He was her teacher. And as described on that expose show by other teachers who had also worked at that school with him…he was a male teacher who was a little too friendly with many of the female students.
Between segments of the taping they would stop to allow for the commercial break time frame to countdown then resume with their taping. At this time the program host would walk through the audience searching out the best questions to feature during the resumption of the program taping.
Finally, the cameras went dead…and Leeza started walking through the audience looking for her next audience questiones. She came up my aisle seeking for questions. I wasn’t going to do it…but they had made me mad. I put up my hand and Leeza walked over to me and said-
“Yes, do you have a question?”
And I said yes.
And she said, “Okay, what question would you like to ask?”
And I told her. Evidently, Leeza liked my question because she did not move from me. When the cameras came back up…she said what she had to say and asked me stand and ask my question.
Before I knew it…that guy and me where firing off against one another…and I was winning. And I did win.
I had made him mad. But I just could not stand it. And he was nasciating to me.
He was a teacher. He did not have any business…no matter what may have or may not have been going on in that girl’s life to become involved sexually with her. She was an under age child…and he was a 30 or 40 year old man. I didn’t care how he tried to justify it…there was no justification for it. And how dare…anyone try to make a movie out of that story.
Yes, he…that man…ex-teacher was out of jail walking around and making the television rounds because some production company had paid big money for the rights to his story. This is why the world is in the state that it is in. This is why many people are doing some of the craziest things…men killing their pregnan wives…teachers running off with grade school children. It is sick.
Everybody wants their 15 minutes of fame…and they are willing to do anything to get it. It is truly sad. When they see the TV coverage and movie…and book deals coming up out of these sick acts…people with copy cat mentalities figure…why not?
And what is sadder…is that there is a market for this.
A guaranteed $41 million…included in his $100 million deal. These guys make tons of money. You would think that the people who really work for a living could earn at least a tiny portion of it. It would look nice.
And Michael Vick is soon to be released from prison.
Sometimes it takes losing something…even if it is for a little period of time to have an appreciation for it and other things…and to look back and reflect on your blessings.
Not everybody gifted…or fast…or good at something gets a contract. Millions dream such dreams whether it be a music deal…or a sports deal…a movie deal…whatever…they dream of. They work hard to make it happen…and yet it doesn’t. So, for those that it does materializes for… Well, they really ought to feel blessed. They should make the most out that blessing…not only for just themselves but for others around them, as well.
Well, it has been beautiful here for the past 2 days. I’m feeling spring in the air.
I was not only on that Leeza Show giving it to that teacher. But Leeza and her production must have really liked me. They started featuring me in their commercial for the show, as well.
You will not believe how many people stopped me in grocery stores to talk about that show with me. I never would have thought anything like that would have happened to me. And I certainly never set out to be on anybody’s show…much less in their commercial.
Talking about 15 minutes. Well, I guess I have had mine now too.
Well, God bless…and enjoy your weekend. And I have not forgotten that it is still Black History Month. I celebrate our achievements all the time. Can’t help but do so. Don’t know what it is. But I love me some black folks…(smile). I really really do.
And oh yes, I have just added my real photo to my “ABOUT” page of this blog. Sorry, if it isn’t what you were imagining…but it is what God gave me. And on that page you can find out more about what I am doing…besides giving you my opinions on things in these blogs. I am truly a highly opinionated person…just can’t help it.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
1 comment February 28, 2009
These young girls are receiving all the wrong messages and there is little being said about it. And forget…about ‘being done about it.’ Bcause that isn’t happening either.
The teen pact in Massachusetts was a shocker and should have created far more than just a wake-up call. It should have had people rolling out of their beds onto the floor and leaping up yelling-
“We’ve got to do something about this.”
But it did not. It was merely a hot topic for the moment…and then it was gone off the horizon.
What has since been done?
What heighten interest in this topic has been generated?
How many encounter groups have been formed to sincerely meet this problem head-on?
Where is the concern on this topic?
Teen sexual habits as they are today are highly serious problems. There is more at stake than a boy and girl getting together sexually. The problem is bigger than that and no one is really or sincerely looking into this problem. The issues and the impact are huge.
There are health issues involved…all kinds of dieases…many of which are life long. But this problem is also going to put millions more on the welfare rows.
Under age girls becoming mothers does impact us all and it should be all of our concerns. It is a moral issue…but it is even greater than that. And this concern is not only to what it will cost the states and eventually the federal government of this country, but there should also be a concern that these young girls are no more than mere kids themselves. Beyond a point the level of resentment does arise. And these kids have no knowledge that they are severely limiting their future life goals, expectations and levels of success…and choices in life.
While the kids are suppose to be busy going back and forth to school every day…they now have to balance their education with trying to parent babies or very young children. This can be a very daunting task for young parentsas babies and/or children take up a lot of time. It is even a very difficult task for the most grown-up adults to handle.
Children take time…and lots of it. They also require responsible and reasonable people in the care of them. Young girls under the age of 12 of even into their 20s or 30s many times are not ready for such a heavy responsibility nor the sacrafices that becoming a mother calls for.
Instead of chasing behind the gay population and trying to change them, and trying to get them to conform when laws are being created every day to encourage just the opposite…we should try working instead to make an impact in an area where we all have some level of control and a voice and that is among our children.
Oftentimes, the argument about education gets down to ‘the home’…well, this argument certainly is a ligitmate argument in this debate…as things in ‘the home’ can lead to effecting change.
Whether parents realize it or not…they can regulate their homes, the type of messages that their children are receiving, what is watched and listened to in ther homes…etc… But it is far more involved than just putting a chip in the cable system to block certain programming. It means getting your child’s face off myspace, out of facebook and whatever or wherever else it is…or whatever means they use to to make contact and meet people with whom they are enaging in sex…which on the face of it alone even sounds and looks wrong.
I personally don’t believe that anybody worth meeting is on the internet. You, if you are an adult, you should not indulged in it…and certainly your children should not. Yes, the internet has it values and good uses, but it also has a lot of risk factors…and safety issues when it comes to your children, teens…and even for older people who never learned that….yes, the world can be full of evil people who lie and try to sway you into dangerous places and situations. Predators are real…and none of you should have to find this out first hand.
But the kids are not alone when it comes to the internet. There are tons of grown up supposedly adult people who are doing the exact same thing. They have pages on myspace and pictures in facebook etc. And it is all wrong if you use it like a game of Russian roulette.
There is little wonder why the kids are in the situation that they are in if the adults are setting the examples or…and I hate to say this…or if the adults in their lives are following their examples…the kids examples in meeting people and becoming sexually involved with just anybody and everybody via the internet. Or even outside of meeting them over the internet.
What in the world is this world coming to?
What is the world is that?
There is too much tied in to sex…just the inter-personal nature of it alone. Call it what you want…but sex is not casual…it is just too intimate for that.
It is all wrong. WRONG….WRONG.
And of course, I know that the kids are hooking up at school too. Let’s face it now…even I at some point was a kid. But I never was stupid…and there is just no other way to say that. Nor was I…or have I ever been common.
There is something seriously wrong when a bunch of young girls are busy thinking more about getting pregnant than they are about the dress they plan of wearing to their class prom…or how they are going to get their mom to give them the money to go to movies next weekend.
There is something wrong when sex is the only thing on the fore-minds of young kids in school…more so than trying to study for an exam or thinking about their futures.
They do not care about an exam…or evidently their futures. No, they do not. Because if they did they wouldn’t be busy trying to get pregnant…or thinking about getting pregnant.
When I was growing up people tried hard to avoid getting pregnant. But then he standards of the day have been drastically lowered as opposed to those of yester-year. In fact, there are none…not today.
When did getting pregnant at a very early age become a badge of honor in this country?
And how can these kids be expected to do any better than the people they are watching and trying to emulate present these kinds of things to them day in and day out?
These kids are obsessed with images of the people they consider to be so-called stars. These so-called stars…they read about them, skim through the web to catch photos of…watch them in the movies or on television…and/or listen to on their iPods. And these people are their role models…whom they desire to emulate in every possible way…down to having babies by this one and by that one over there. And they never see a marriage ring or a wedding band.
That is the world our many of kids live in…and many adults, as well. That is why they can search facebook or myspace…and go from one person to the next. Because they live in a world of ‘no commitment.’ There parents are not committed to them. There teachers aren’t committed to them. Their schools aren’t committed to them…the government…society…nothing.
So, what do you expect…when a stranger over the internet shows them more interest than you do?
Even if it is for a hot minute. To them it beats none at all…no matter what they end up having to sacrifice.
Parents have got to invest time in…and quality time with their children. They need us to be concern about them…about their day…what’s going on with them…and the things we can help them with…as well as to encourage them…and, of course, to look out for their well being, as well as, protect them. There has to be quality time invested in your children’s lives all through their development…even into adulthood…if they allow you. And they will…if they trust you…but that trust is built up over time. That trust comes with involvement in their lives from the earliest stages of their lives straight throughout their developedment into adulthood.
It is time for America to not just take a serious look at this problem of teen and under age sex…but also to actively work to do something to cuve it. This tide must be stemmed because of the dire future consequences for America.
These young babies need to have a fighting chance at life. And they can’t do that by being born to people who are not mature enough to parent them properly.
The cost, to the system upon whom they will soon be imposing, should not become the driving force to make this country face this problem today.
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
…pass it on…’ www.bsmith101.wordpress.com
God bless…and thanks for reading ©2008
Add a comment November 19, 2008