Posts tagged ‘Black History Month ‘
Well, it is Black History Month. And I really can’t remember when this actually took place… the year when a young 15 year old youth went south to Mississippi from Chicago, to spend the summer with relatives in the south.
In looking back at a newspaper article on the story, I see where it took place in 1955. The summer Emmett Till went to spend what was to be his lastsummer visiting those cousins, and an aunt and uncle down south. Because somewhere during that visit in August 1955 it was said
that Emmett took certainly liberties with some white woman. He got out of place… he crossed that divide that colored and white were not to cross… because he was just being a young innocent kid… unaware of the do’s and the don’t of the then… and maybe still in some parts of the south.
Supposedly young Emmett while in this woman’s family store had told the white woman how he had dated a woman just like her up in Chicago. And upon leaving the store it was said that young Emmett Till gave that woman 1 of those big long whistles, that men did back in that time when they thought a woman was beautiful… somewhat of a wolf call or something.
It was that story of Emmett Till which always colored me and my thoughts about how when you leave home… if you lived north of the Mason/Dixon Line… how you should behave very differently if you were to go down south.
Something like how you had to remember when you crossed that line …that Mason/Dixon Line going into the south, that you were no longer in the north… or in your little Northern town or big city, like Chicago or Detroit. And how remembering this… that this ‘black and white thang’ could possibly save your life.
I recall once just we had crossed that line 1 summer on 1 our many drives south to visit my grand mother in the south, that once we pulled up to a motel where my mother sent me out to go inside and ask how much it would cost to get a room?
An occasional stop at a motel to freshen up used to be a habit of my family sometimes while we were making the more that 20 hour trip down south to Florida. But this particular day as I almost was about to reach for the door leading into the motel office, out came running two black boys… or teens… something I couldn’t really tell how old they were as they came running through that door shouting back to me, ‘Get of of here! Go! Go!’
I immediately ran back to our car and reported to my mother and father what those 2 boys had told me as they had whizzed pass me and shouted for me to get out of there.
Suddenly, my mother started screaming at me to get in the car… and she started hollering they ain’t gonna take my sons. ‘They ain’t gonna take my sons.’
Boy, I had never seen anything like it or ever heard my mother react in such a way. But years later I understood.
At that time my brothers were young kids… maybe 10 or 11 or something like that. But my mother having grown up in the south… my being a Jamaican had grew up in Jamaica so he had not really experienced any that Jim Crow stuff of the deep south. But my mother knew it well. And she knew that it would not matter to white folks that my brothers had not robbed or done whatever those 2 boys had done… but that they were black and that in of itself would have been enough for my young brothers to have been taken …in place of the real crooks or whatever they were who had come running out of that motel office.
I do not think we ever again stopped at another motel in all the years we continued to travel back and forth to Florida after that.
For years, I think that up until this very point I had always felt that Emmett Till should have been told how to behave, and carry himself while down there in the south. I always thought it was his mother’s fault for not sitting him down, and telling him how to behave down there when it came to being around white folks. It was the typical blaming that many people do when they blame the dead for being dead. Like some people blame Trayvon Martin for being out late… or out in the rain in that white neighborhood when he got shot and killed.
I thought that way because I was stupid. I was blind. Ignorant of the fact that many times it just didn’t matter what we did do or not, irregardless there was a very likely could still come up dead
He was a kid. And you could have told him something a thousand times, and would you believe you wouldn’t have to tell him it again… as we all do when it comes to talking to our children?
Emmett Till did not live in the south. Nor was there any reason for me to believe that what had been said regarding that story had been true. For you see, evidently I had believed something inappropriate must have been done for those white men to go in the middle of the night seeking this young boy, regarding something something he had said and/or done.
That is the irony of it. How readily we eat up the things we see or hear.
It had been a lie. It had all been a lie. And because some white woman had lied on her son, Mrs. Till was forced to go down to Mississippi and collect the bloated remains of her young teen age son, her only child… I think… and bring him back to Chicago in order to bury him.
Years later after Emmett Till had been viciously murder by a group of white men in the middle of the night, after going to his relative’s house and demanding that they send him out to them or they would burn them out and all up in their home.
How could that woman possibly live with herself after that?
Years later, I moved to Chicago and while working as a church secretary for a pastor by the name of Dr. A. L. Reynolds, Jr., I was told something by Dr. Reynolds, who pastored Sixth Grace United Presbyterian Church, at Cottage Grove and 35th Street, on the South Side.
Dr. Reynolds 1 day came into the office and for some reason began telling a story, of how he had had to run away from his home, which had been back in Arkansas. The reason he had to pick up and get out of there he told me, was because some white woman wanted him and he didn’t want her. That is exactly how he put it. He said, ‘she wanted me. But I didn’t want her. So, I had to leave.’ Because I did not want her to lie on me. Because in those days a white woman could say a black man raped her and they (meaning the other white people… mostly men) would kill him.
So, Dr. Reynolds said he got of Arkansas as quickly as he could.
And he said he left Arkansas running because he didn’t want her to tell a lie on him.
Through the our history in this country many black people have found it necessary to get up and get out of town in the middle of night, headed north or to other points unknown. Because they were afraid of some type of bad consequence which might take hold upon them… or befall them due to a lie… or some white person wanting something that belonged to them.
It comes to mind that even in Biblical text Abram lied. He was forced to lie when he and Sarah went to enter Egypt. And he became afraid that the king… otherwise known as Pharaoh… would want his wife, Sarai…as she was then before being renamed by God Sarah. Because the Bible says she was fair and goodly to look upon.
So, Abram felt that he would be killed by Pharaoh. So, therefore, told Sarai that they should say that he was her brother rather than her husband.
The end of this story is that Pharaoh and the people of his kingdom are overtaken by what the Bible calls a ‘great plague.’ Pharaoh questions Abram and asked him why he had not told him that the woman, Sarai… was his wife?
We come into the 21st Century now, some more than 60 years later and now we hear that the white woman who had told her husband and his white buddies, that Emmett Till had whistled and spoken to her… a white woman inappropriately… that she had lied.
All that pain and heartbreak … tears shed had been over a lie.
A young boy was pulled and dragged out into the dark of night… tortured and beaten …then partially burned and thrown into the river… to be found days later a bloated beyond recognition dead decomposing body. Because that woman lied. And now …I guess on her death bed… or on her near death bed she tells the truth… that she lied about the whole thing.
How did that woman do that… when she knew what the consequences for any black man would be?
She knew what times she lived in. But just did not care. She told that lie knowing that some out of control white drunken men were going to go and find them a white boy, and have what they called ‘have some fun.’ While they enjoyed torturing him and beating him…and eventually killing him.
How did this young boy respond?
Can you imagine what was going through his mind and heart… scared beyond his wits…
kicked…slapped…punched… stomped… cut… lit on fire…
And all because some white woman thought it nothing to lie on him. And me thinking years later that it had been his fault… because nobody every trained him properly how to behave around white folks.
This reminds me of how I hear black commentators on television now when they are talking about black men being shot and killed by white police officers. Everybody saying they should have kept their hands on the dashboard… or where they could be seen… or not moved too quickly… etc… etc… etc….
Blaming the victim because racist people still abound….
Well, God bless… It was sleeting a little bit this morning. But I hope it is nice and warm
where you are. Have a good day all… and remember it’s BLACK HISTORY MONTH. “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2017
Add a comment February 8, 2017
What bothered me the most was that everyone seemingly is coming down on Bernice King, the youngest of Dr. Martin L. King, Jr.’s children, over this latest controversy in her family amongst her and her brothers.
Looking at the pictures it appears that Martin L. King, III has jumped ship. At one point it had been him and Bernice against Dexter King, their baby brother. Dexter and Martin 3 want to take out of the hands of Bernice their father’s traveling Bible, and what has to be any families most valued treasure if we could all get 1… Dr. King’s Nobel Peace Prize medal.
Who in their right mind would dare part with these 2 things?
There are just some things you simply cannot put a price tag on.
Perhaps, some down and out someone or other might think differently. Or just some plain greedy kids… out to liquidate everything they can get their grubby little hands on of their mother’s and father’s estate.
Is it not enough that the court ordered Bernice to surrender to Dexter personal cards and letters written to their mother by their father… items that Mrs. King had personal given to her youngest daughter?
Now, here comes Dexter again… and this time Martin 3 is with him. They are in the boat together to snatch out of their sister’s hands their father’s Bible (the Bible that President Barack Obama placed his hand upon when he took his oath for his 2nd term in the White House) and Dr. King’s Nobel Peace Prize.
How low can you go, Dexter and Martin 3?
Unless you have been there you will never understand how hard it is to stand when everyone around is grabbing for what they can get… and all you can think of ‘my parent’s are gone.’ Dealing with loss can be very difficult. And especially when the responsibility somehow falls upon you… be it a sense of duty or whatever… but you are the one who ends up trying to maintain what you see as what your parent’s desire would be.
And why should she?
We have all heard of down and out athletes and actors selling off their championship rings or Academy awards… when left with no other options. But this is something else. It is just pure and simple greed driving Dexter boy and his older and brother, Martin #3.
It is always very unfortunate when the value of your things winds up meaning more to your children than you… or what your desires would be… or the remembrance of you… or in this case have a higher cost than the King legacy and remembrance of their mother and father to some of them.
Bernice King has every right to try to hold onto the precious memories and legacy of both her mother and father, without having gifts which her mother gave to her… entrusted her with …being lost to a couple of greedy brothers who care nothing about the King legacy, or even how bad they are making their family and themselves looked by forcing the hand of their baby sister in this matter.
I heard an interview where Andrew Young, a man who I thought used to be a King family friend, commented on this matter by merely snickering at it and saying, “They sue too much.”
You know what Mr. Young?
When you have to take somebody to court ….or they want to take you to court. Baby, you better learn how to fight. Cause if you don’t learn how to swing back… then just crawl into a hole and pull some grass over you and die.
Thank goodness Bernice has not decided to die. When you honor your mother and father, and their memory… you don’t try to sell off precious things that belonged to them, because you cherish them. Those things were a part of them… and they should remain in the King family to get pass down. Many people today can’t even put their hands on old family pictures or 8mm films that may have been taken of them as children. Because somebody in their family grabbed them all up and years later discarded them… or they somehow got lost.
I long for a picture my mother had taken of me and my sister many years ago. We were just young children then. My sister took my parent’s picture and cut it up throwing away my half of that picture while keeping herself. Today not even that part exist. There had been other copies of that picture which my mother had sent to various relatives, but I have never been able to track not 1 down….or put my hands on them some 50 or more years later because they too were probably destroyed.
The problem in this story is one of greed. Dexter boy has been selling off everything… every piece of the King family estate he can since the passing of their mother… down to making the Federal government pay him for the use of his father’s image and likeness in the creation of his monument in Washington, D.C.. One would have thought that the honor and recognition given to his father in the creation of the Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. monument in D.C. would have filled him with joy. That he would have been eager for the King family to assist anyway it could. But no… not Dexter. He saw it as a money-making opportunity and milked the creation and erection of a monument to his father for every dime he could get out of it… including forcing them to pay for the use of any of Dr. King’s quotes.
Why anyone would want to throw stones at Bernice King for standing up to her brothers in their pursuit to sell off what has to be two of the most valued possessions of both their mother and father, Dr. King’s Bible and Nobel Peace Prize… is crazy. Clearly, those people do not know the whole story. But it has always been my experience to know that it is usually the good person… the person who is trying to do the right thing… the one who is innocent of trying to do wrong that gets blamed for starting the whole thing and is singled out as the culprit in the eyes of almost everyone looking in on matters like this. I have been there… and in many ways I still am. Trust me me I know.
So, yes… I side with Bernice King. I cheer you on Bernice King. Do not give up the fight. Fight the fight… it is well worth fighting. And I pray you God speed and victory in this matter. As there are some things you just do not sell off… like your birth right. And the right of any 3rd or 4th generation King’s etc. to not have to go to a library or museum to see an award presented to their grand-father or great great grand-father, because his kids sold off everything. Some things really are too sacred.
And I also pray for a changed mind and heart of both Dexter King and Martin #3.
In regards to Martin #3… I have no respect for him.
I recall going into court trying to fight for my father. I went in thinking that 2 of my other siblings were on my side. That is what they pretended… that is until we got before the Judge. When we got before the Judge they said nothing. They offered nothing not 1 agreement to anything to what I was saying. I was left out there all alone trying to fight for our father to be returned home, and they said nothing. I later came to realized that they never wanted daddy back home in the first place. The house was divided and everybody had grabbed what they wanted. My father’s house had been invaded and taken over… and daddy was forced out of his own property. A fact I never knew until some time after that court hearing.
It is amazing how quickly we can forget all the sacrifices and all the good times… and how much our parents poured into us. If Dr. King had not struggled… if he had not marched… if he not sacrificed his life… what would they have to fight over?
What would we all have to celebrate?
The car… the family house… everything that every family at the end is forced to fight over… I suspect they might have fought over that. Because there will always be at least 1 who sees a bigger picture than just self and… and thank God for that. They see more than what they can get out of the passing of supposed love ones. Always 1… and it appears that Bernice King is the 1. And yes… I stand with her.
On another note on the King family. Dexter has gotten married. This is really not new news. But I know it is not mentioned or talked about but if the truth be told… Dexter is really not the marrying kind. Everything for him is show. His wife is a supposed ex-lesbian. But I have known people who were gay who married with each 1 doing their own thing.
When I first encountered this it was a couple of the weirdest 2 people I had ever met. The guy was flamingly gay… and between them they did have a child. I really don’t know how she managed it?
But I figured out that they had been great friends and this is what laid the foundation for them agreeing to get together as husband and wife.
I also remember when once a lover of mine had been offered quite a considerable about of money from a man, who at the time was a boss of mine (he owned the radio station). His son was very very gay and the father wanted a grand child… an heir or something I guess. So, he proposed an offer to my girlfriend of this substantial amount of money to marry his 1 and only child, this gay son. And no she did not do it… as it was totally out of the question. But the point here is… is that there are some people who will do anything in order to have their gay children reform… get married… have children… even if it means they will not give them or leave them a dime unless they do. Then there are some people who get married for various other reasons… other than love. It’s called a ‘marriage or convenience.’
I must say though… that all this snow is beautiful.
If you are out there in the snow please remember safety rules. Drive with care and caution in the snow and ice. Apply brakes when riding on icy roadways lightly… come to a nice and easy stop by slowing up. Do not slam on your brakes… it will send your car sliding out of control.
Guess I’m moving a little bit too fast. I had all but forgotten about it being BLACK HISTORY MONTH. So, in celebration of Black History Month let me just quick tell you about a young lady in England. The youngest person to ever become a barrister (that is practicing lawyer in their terms). Her name is Gabrielle Turnquest. She is from the States, Florida to be exact… and she is just 18 years old. Amazing. To be young gifted and black… is definitely where it is at.
Happy BLACK HISTORY MONTH….
And let me not forget that this week Shirley Temple passed (Shirley Temple Black) at age 85. I cannot begin to tell you the countless Saturdays I spent watching Shirley Temple dance and sing her way down long stair steps… or try to cheer up a friend. She was more than just a favorite… Shirley was my friend.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
Add a comment February 15, 2014
There is clearly a plot to undermind the union known as the United States of America. And it is coming in the force of an entity known as the Republican party… Republican governors, senators, congressmen, mayors, business men and women… and media expoundants etc.
Though these people would be quick to say that they are not racists. Yet, their whole campaign and assult against Obama stems out of nothing more than out and out racism.
In Wisconsin the Governor is trying to rid the state of unions by going out after public employees…by weakening their ability to go to the bargaining table to negotiate their pay and other needs. This attack is nothing more than backlash at unions…blue collar workers… for their large support of the Democratic Party. And for being a mighty force that came together, as well as other groups, in aiding Obama to take the White House.
It is not that they… these Republicans cannot see that Obama is working to get America out from under the Bush mess. No, this they can clearly see… though they say otherwise… and desire to create an atmoshere of belief that he is not. It is their master plan. For Obama’s labors is just ‘what’ they fear.
Here it is… these political bigots are willing to block every initiative posed by Obama in order to make America a better and healthier place in the wake of that idiot George W. Bush…yet they want to block them. Not just 1 of them… but all of them. They desire to tear them apart… deflat them and try to defeat them. While they sit around trying to terrorize people about Obama’s initiatives… namely his direction and bills.
Imagine Republican governors setting up blockaides by stopping to take federal dollars that Obama has allocated to their states in order to bring the United States into the 21st Century. Monies set up to make our intrastructure better, more modernized and highly inproved. Such as high speed railroads.
Now, what could be wrong with that?
Nothing. But its a black man trying to do it. If Bush has sat around trying to do good instead of evil… and came up with the idea of updating our rail system… like Reagan came up with Star Wars. Wonder what happened to that… It was a ridiculous idea for one thing… but all those Republicans loved it. They stood up and applauded it… and supported that dumb idea.
Why do I say it was a dumb idea?
Because we know very little about space. And we have yet to conquer everythings here on earth first.
So, why would we spend billions of dollars trying to race our way to overtaking space?
Much of the seas right here on earth have yet to be seen. Not to mention some months ago I read where they discovered some unknown tribe of people in South America. People who had never ever been introduced to the outside world. As they had never gone beyond the confines of the area they lived in. But those Republicans loved Reagan’s idea to spend all that money on something which today proves to have been nothing more than a waste of time.
Yet, there are Republican governors who are refusing to accept federal funds right now… based merely out of their own selfish desires to keep a black man from being effective and successful in his job as President of the United States.
And whether you care to believe it or not… this is the absolute… sole truth about the matter.
As dumb and as destructive as George Bush was for and to this country there was never 1 revolt or attack set up against him by any political group in this country. Nor did anybody every stand up or while sitting down ever yell out-
“Liar,” to him.
Bush was a man who brought this country nearly to its knees. Brought us into a senseless war… was the cause why our gas prices… food costs… medical needs… and every other expenditure in this country has escalated beyond our imaginations. Prices that people in forgeign countries had become used to… but never ever us.
And not 1 governor turned down anything from him… or came up in opposition against him as these dirty double-dealing Republicans have decided to now come up against Barack Obama.
How dare these men… and perhaps some women of the Republican Party decided that their racist attitudes mean more to them than the well-being of America.
How dare these voted into office individuals… decide that they will not stop at doing anything they can do in their vain little efforts to hold back the tide called… Barack Obama.
Have they not heard that what God has done let no man put assunder?
Their opposition comes not because Obama is a bad President. Or because Obama is a liar… unlike the last guy that held the office of President of the United States… and an out and out liar he was… and not 1 Republican came out against him. Nor are they raising up against Obama for any other reason than that they are a bunch of bigots.
People who are trying to deceive their consituents by lying. Telling their constituents that their opposition is against Obama because they don’t believe in the direction that he is taking America.
Here it is Obama has managed to begin the great American comeback after George Bush brought us into the worst financial period in American history… just shy… and I do mean just shy of the Great Depression… and the history books may come to say ‘the worst’ 1 day… if the truth really be told.
But thank God that before Bush could take us all the way down… the election period came up. And the timing could not have come quick enough to boot that crook out of the White House.
Now, here in Bush’s wake… Obama is starting to turn back the tide… and then here comes those dirty little Republican Party politicans.
Jobs are coming back and the economy is on the rise… And my… how they hate that.
There is now light shinning through at the end of the deep dark tunnel that the Bush Administration and the Republican Party sanked us into. And they want to block out that light.
Because it is the doing of a non-Republican… and especially… Oh, no… not a black man!
We can’t allow him. If he does this… if he is successful you know what this will mean. We will be saddled by an onslaught of other black Presidents. They will prove that they are not stupid. And that they can manage things… and make decisions.
They will take over America.
It sounds like all that old southern rhetoric expounded by southern plantation owners opposing slavery. Proclaiming all kinds of stupid stuff… like their women would not be safe. Their children would not be safe. That their way of life… peacefulness… and everything else would be destoryed.
And so, the slaves were finally freed due to a war betweeen the then Union States… the South verus the North… the Civil War. Yes, it was not without struggle… or strife. Not without loss of lives. Yet, black people came up from slavery working and striving to destory the old stereotypes and ngative images propagateded by hate. And was meant as a means of keeping us down.
Years of watching us on television and in news segments as being a people who were lesser than… lost people… and a people who could not get it right.
There is little wonder that throughout our history in this country… the most successful black people in this country were those in the entertainment business. And particularly those in the earlier years that managed to cross the color barriers, becoming popular among white audiences. They were those kind of black folks who didn’t mind being laughed at… and keeping those old stereotypes alive.
Jessters who made their money acting the way white people believed… or rather liked seeing us act… in ways demeaning to us as people. And they (those entertainers) did not mind selling us out …much like some of these little rappers and singers …and some comedians of today.
So, in walks a man name Barack Obama… and he comes in with a Michelle Obama… with little Malia and Sasha… and grandma. And they broke up that stereotype, along with such talents as Diahann Carroll, who became TV’s Julia… and others.
No, they exploded it… those Obama’s. And hopefully never to come back again.
Years of lies hit the wall when the Obama’s hit the scene. Years of lies like… black men don’t do anything but beat their women.
Lies like… black men don’t take care of their children.
Lies like… their families don’t look like ours.
Like like… black folks are not smart. They can’t learn…and that they can never do nothing right.
I am going to end this here. Because I am getting mad.
Mad about what white racist people are trying to do against the man who is in the White House right now… who is trying to make this country better. And because he ‘is’ black they don’t want to see him do it.
And they were willing to tear apart this country… and bring us all… all the way back to where Lincoln freed the slaves. And to reinstate a deep wedge pitted in the heart of America to do it.
And these Republicans are set to bring that wedge back… no matter what it takes. Because they desire to see the black man fail.
But the devil is a liar.
Do they not know that the more they try to do against Obama the greater God is going to make him?
He shall be successful. Because I understand how God operates. He loves oppposition. And the greater the opposition the greater God can show His hand.
Obama being where he is… is not of his doing. But of the will of God.
This is of God’s doing.
It is very intersting… and especially that since this group of Republican governors meeting to discuss their efforts to attempt to block the success of Obama by refusing to accept goverment funds and blocking his health care bill from taing effect in their states… during this time… BLACK HISTORY MONTH.
Got up to about 2 inches more of snow this morning. So, yes… I had to get up and get out to shovel. But it was lite and not much. So, I didn’t even break a sweat. And didn’t sweat out my hair this time either.
Oh, well… Got to do what a girl has got to do…
Well, God bless…hope you enjoy the rest of your evening and this Black History Month.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family to em , co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2011
Add a comment February 28, 2011
There is something about freedom that when you don’t have it…it is only but so long you are willing to go without it. Or otherwise stated.. tolerate being in a state of non-freedom.
I am sure that for the past 20 years many in Egypt felt that they were doomed to being under submission to a tyrant, Hosni Mubarak, forever. And Mubarak under intense protest thought that he could wait it out… their riots in the streets and massive protests.
And then he thought to do it under his own terms… but they finally forced him out.
But once people start to see the light of day…and start to act out regarding their frustration of being under suppression there is no force which can turn that tide back around.
So, when the army came out in Mubarak’s defense…even the military could stop the desire of the people to be free.
In fact, this being Black History Month in America… one can easily equate the Civil Rights Movement to that of the move of the people in Egypt… except for this 1 fact. He had a man named Martin.
And the special thing about Martin was that he was a man of God.
The other thing about Martin was this… he understood the power of love. Or, you could call it this… non-violence.
It is hard really to really really understand this word ‘love’ in all of its great infinity.
It is deeper than we think.
But to Martin it was not.
In order to really understand the power of this word…truly… you have to experience it fully in its highest capacity.
Once while down at the registry…having to go in to renew my driver’s class. And what I really should say is this-
While being at the registry attempting to renew my driver’s license. It went like this…
I was given a number…and took a seat to wait on the calling of my number. But as I sat there they called every number but the letter beginning with the number sequence that the group of people waiting on that same sequence had like me.
So, I waited…and waited. And waited… and waited.
Finally, I stood up and had a fit in that place.
And I started shouting about where was ‘our’ numbers…and why wasn’t ‘our’ letter being called? And I was not joking.
I was fit to turn that place out. And evidently the supervisor on duty did not appreciate my outraged outburst.
This, however, I did not know. Not at that time…and not until a few days later.
But back to my story…finally our letter and numbers began to be call, and I finally got up to the window.
But there was a problem. They sent me from 1 window to another window…then to another window. Needless to say I was mad again …and ready to really tear up the place now.
By the time I got to the 4th window in this scenario I was boiling over. I mean I was mad. But the clerk was such a nice young girl I found it hard to be angry at her… though I wanted to take out my frustration on her. Everytime I tried I just couldn’t.
She was just too nice.
Finally, I broke down and said to her-
“Can’t you be mean or nasty. I just can’t be mad at you. Can you just not be so nice.”
She just smiled and kept right on apologizing about my bad experience that I was having that day at the registry.
A few days later I got a letter in the mail telling me it was okay to come back into the registry to get my license. That is when God shined a light into my life regarding that experience…and what ended up being my unexpected end.
Because my outburst had embarassed the person who supervising the clerks working the counter…she decided (supervisor) that I was not going to leave out of there with whatever I had come in there to do. And boy did they do it.
They had me walk from 1 window to another… sending me on a series of wild goose chases before turning me loose to go home… and without my license. And while making $100 poorer.
I now understood every smirk…and look that I had picked up on… but at the time they had not meant anything to me… because I was too mad to pay any attention to anything but to what I wanted to accomplish when I went into that office. It was all clear to me now… even down to the young clerk who had been so kind to me… and why she could have been so nice to a very nasty little me.
She had been made aware to the inside joke. I now remembered a woman calling the girl back to her and whispering something to her. So, no wonder the young girl could smile through my attempts to antagonize her in the heat of my anger. She had been told to plaquette me. And it had all been a joke… my going from 1 window to another… and sent here there and everywhere.
Martin did not attempt to plaguette anyone… but he clearly understood that through acts of non-voilence in the face of violent acts can be a more powerful weapon than kicking, spitting and hitting back. When you have the capability of restraining yourself from responding in an equal or like-matter to that of a prepetrator or an enemy... then you will have power over them. Because the act of violence or hate…or malice directed towards you is devised to get a negative response from you. And this Martin clearly understood… and also the power of showing a reverse response to that which is expected.
Martin didn’t just believe in the ideology of non-violence alone. He understood that love was a retractor that forced even your worst enemy to have to step back and reconsider his acts or actions towards you. It confuses them. They have to step back… scratch their heads… and wonder what’s wrong with you?
The first thing that start to consider is ‘maybe I didn’t beat him hard enough.’ Or ‘maybe I didn’t insult him enough.’ Maybe…maybe I need to threaten his family. Or tell him that I’m going to kill his wife…or maybe I need to call and whisper into his telephone and tell him-
“You better keep your eyes on your children.”
There is something about love… that deminishes fear…and rage. It can force change to come about. And so we celebrate Black History Month because of those people who got tired… and started walking and marching rather than continuing to accept mistreatment… insult… and dehumanization.
People who took the hits… the punches… and the spit in the face that I …my son… my nieces and nephews might walk in this country with the right to be as other people who come here… though not in chains and they never had to live as 2nd class citizens in this country… nor contributed half as much… as we to be recognized as bonifided citizens.
It is amazing that throughout all these years in this country all these great inventions and discoveries by black folks in American are still not regularly spoken of outside of our own circles. To think that somebody…and African American… ex-slave invented the railroad track switcher, the traffic lights, the steamship, the air conditioner, the yard rake, the water sprinkler, the cotton gin, blood plasma, potato chips, peanut butter and oh…….so so so so much much…much more.
It is not that we do not have great minds in our group…but minds that have never been recognized. Consider all that we have created and achieved with nothing to so little… Just imagine if our folks had been allowed in this country to patent their inventions or anything back in times past. Just how many millionaires and multi-millionairs…billionaires there would be within our community today. Oprah would not be out there all on her own. She might be in 3rd or 4th place behind some of these people… these great minds in Black History. And there would be plenty of money…and lots of ‘old’ money within the ranks of our own communites too. Legally obtained by both those highly educated…and those who worked in fields as well… creating items which made their labors a bit easier on them. Inventions of thing which today are highly commonplace items in all our homes… or in all of the world’s everday life.
Also, nobody can tell me that whatever that man’s name is… James Naismith really was the ‘real’ originator of basketball. A man from Massachusetts? Who started playing a game of ball that included peach baskets?
I think not.
It sounds more like that on a visit down South… he saw some black boys down in Georgia…the home of peaches… with an old ball and tossing it into a peach basket after getting in from a long day of working out in those Georgia peach fields. He saw them …and then Naismith went back home and began to teach it to some young college students, calling himself the creator of it. I think not.
Well, happy Black History Month.
Oh, yes…before I end.
I think that it is interesting that during this season of much international unrest… I think that it is interesting that many who questioned President Barack Obama’s community oragnizing credentials… evidently never sat in on any community meetings.
They don’t know anything about the fights or the outburst of angry and outrage that can erupt during community meetings. If they had had any understanding… they would have realized that a man… or any woman with Obama’s community organizing credentials would be just the right thing for this season in terms of international turmoil. You need somebody who can get in trenches and knows how to hold his own…to deal with these kind of elements of emotional revolts and religious extremism.
Since the Egyptians have finally over a series of a few days managed to chase out their oppressor from office over them…it has given strenght now to other 3rd World Countries looking at that picture to believe that they also have the strenght to seize their freedom too.
It is kind of like the elephant… who as a little baby elephant is tied into place with a little stick. But being that elephants have long memories… the baby elephant when it grows up does not know it now has the strenght to break free from anything that might try to hold it or contain it. But if that elephant were ever to see another elephant break free… it might also come to realize that strenght that is in his hands as well.
So, we see the children who have grown up…and now determine for themselves not live as their parents had… passively. From the Middle East to North Africa their is unrest… Libya, Tunisia, Bahrain and, Yemen. And make no mistake…at ever turn America’s interest is vastly at stake. And I have no doubt that Obama has his eyes keenly on these places, the voices of the people…and those that are soon to pop up on the scene too… hot spots… all over.
I for 1 am happy that we now have somebody in the White House who is not operating with split interests. But someone who cares about us… the American people… and not future riches for him and his clonies…like the George W. Bush clan.
Well, God bless…hope you enjoy the rest of your evening and this Black History Month.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family to em , co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
Add a comment February 21, 2011
Now I know that it is Black History Month and that I have been kind of quiet for this month. But I now no longer write a blog…and I guess this is true too for the earlier ones as well…unless I really have something to say. So, I guess it was that I just had more to say on things earlier when I initially started blogging then I now do…which is why I wrote them more often then.
But I am nonetheless highly opinoinated…I guess you might be able to tell that. So, while I was kicking up my heels and waiting on something to come in the mail…while searching over the web I came across this video and…and… Well, it has stirred me to write something.
Knowing that I am saved…as I am sure that you must know by now. Least ways I hope you have gathered that. I would like to think that my light is shinning in everything I have written over this site. And of course…my being being saved is not a state that I have always been….but it has been so for a few years now.
Most recently God spoke into my heart to not sit back and keep quiet on everything. So, thus…I speak on some things when moviated by a strong opinion regarding that subject or thing which sparks me to do so.
Now, having said that I could not see this video clip without commenting on it. I believe in truth…and hate any form of mis-information. Some people really hold onto things that people tell them…and they take it for truth when it is very much not. And very far from it.
You view this video and you tell me what you think.
There is a folley is loving yourself too much. And believing that you know all the answers…and particularly when you think that the mis-information that you dish out is correct.
There is no way that partying in the form as is expressed in the above video is correct. And to refer to when David danced…and compare it to a ‘male stripper’ is insane.
In downtown Brooklyn near Fulton Street and Flatbush Avenue …it is not uncommon to see and hear the 5 percenter’s…or the 10 percenters…or the 12 tribes of Israel…or whatever they call themselves. It is a group of about 5 to 8 black guys dressed in olden day garments…as in the anicent times of Moses…standing on soap boxes (milk crates) chanting about their god…and refering to the Bible as a means of discrediting Jesus and Biblical text.
Whenever I heard them saying stuff that was wrong…and though I didn’t know the Bible and certainly not any of its Biblical texts…but I grew up in church. So, I always felt that someone in those crowds…and there was always a crowd gathered around them as they spoke. I just felt that someone should have challenged them…and countered them. Somebody had to know scripture…so that they could have said something…but no one ever did. So, day after day…those guys stood out there on the corner of downtown Brooklyn dispelling lies…and falsehoods without any correction.
I now have learned a few things…not as much as most…but even so I refuse to let anything I see or hear and know that it is wrong go without me saying something. I just cannot.
Hence, my response to the above video by this young woman named Ty Adams. I have seen a few other videos of her’s over the internet…and know that she considers herself to be a Christian lecturer, teacher, conference speaker…and I guess you could say possibly even some kind of ‘life coach’ on relationships.
To top it off she calls herself…’Dr Ty.’ There are a lot people in the church today who have given themselves this title…doctor. Guess it sounds good to their ears. Juanita Bynum along with a few others…have done so as well. But when you go to read their bio info there is no mention of an institution to go along with their title. They just like the way it sounds…and to some degree it elevates them to a higher status…adds more credibility or something.
Yet, in the church you will hear them say…‘it’s not all about titles.’ But it seems that everybody wants one. Christina Glenn claims she earned her’s in some collage in India…I just had to look it up. And if push comes to shove…you can always buy one…there are plenty of services that will sell you a doctorate title…which is more like ‘give you one’…if you get that hard pressed for to have one.
But going back to sister Ty.
How in the world can anyone be paying this woman to come to their converence looking…and dressing…and talking as she talks?
There is no such thing as a ‘saved club.’ And yes…clubs are something which the kids of that other guy…not God’s kids…or followers of Jesus created. Club are dens of iniquity. The purpose for clubs is for sinners to gather like Christians go to church. But instead of worshipping and praising God…sinners go in to clubs to sin. They go looking for sexual partners…somebody to rub up against…somebody who can dance and make them look good. It is a place where they can drink and carry on…and have all kinds of loose and ungodly conversations while listening to ungodly music.
I know all about clubs because I owned one…it was a lesbian club…but I owned it nevertheless.
Tell me what real church song can you get up and slow drag to?
And clubs have almost always been for single people…somebody looking for somebody. Because most people who have somebody do not frequent clubs regularly. And do not want to hear that their husbands or wives are…because everybody knows what goes on in clubs…and why people seek them out.
So, then why would this ‘new group’ of so-called saints call it alright to party…and hangout at a club?
There are some things that some people are just not willing to give up. They want to cuss and everything else…take a look at these videos below.
One of the worst things that could have happened for some of these co-called preachers and teachers…is their decision to get into media…and put their ministry where the world can view them…so we can all see and hear them for ourselves…and come to know who is or who is not of Christ.
One of the biggest jokes…and it is really not funny. But it is the River Church in Durham, NC…where Sheryl Brady’s husband…bishop whatever his name is…can be seen turning their church service into a 3 ring circus from Sunday to Sunday…and I guess in whatever other services they may have.
Who wouldn’t go to a church where the pastor pulls out a thick wad of hundred dollar bills every Sunday…passing them out like water. Sometimes 3 and 4 of them at a time while telling people to pull out their money and bless one another with it…as he ocassionaly calls someone up and starts handing out a few notes of his own. But never the whole thing…just enough to entice his membership.
And how many of them have gotten away from you…got lost or somehow walked away from you?
Aren’t you glad it wasn’t a $5,000 pen?
What is happening to the church?
Preachers are not acting like preachers any more.
What is happening to us?
Most recently I myself had a run in with a preacher. He is currently the pastor of our church. I had noticed that he began to act a little bit too friendly towards me. While trying my best to stay away from him…he became more aggressive….blatant in fact in his actions.
When I thought I had worked out the perfect plan…this guy…the pastor…and I refuse to call him ‘our’ pastor. Well, this guy always seemed to be one step ahead of me.
When I told my son to give me the keys to the car so I could sneak out of church just before service ended…wouldn’t you know it…here comes the guy down the center aisle of the church. It was just before he was to get up and preach…and he came down the center aisle stopping at me. He bent down and rested his forehead against mine with his nose touching mine…as if we were alone and in bed together.
I was…I was totally shocked…dismayed…and angered by it. How dare this guy embarrass me like that. I was fuming…and I was so for weeks upon weeks. I could not believe such a thing had happened…and right there in the midst of the whole church while service was going on.
My son kept telling me that I was reading too much in it.
“Awh, ma…he does that with everybody.”
And if he did…then he was out of order then too…and somebody should have told him so long ago.`
How can people sit in church and allow their pastors to do whatever it is that they want without anyone questioning him or challenging him or her on it?
I had just started returning back to this church after being away…after living out of town for years. I had never really cared for this man because he had utterly destroyed our church…and everbody who hadn’t died had left it. The church was down to just about 8 members now…and my family was the only remnant left in it. And now I could understand why…clearly this preacher had over stepped his boundary…not just with me but with many others.
So following the forehead thing… I stopped going to church for a while…but God spoke into my heart and told me that I could not stop going to church…nor to allow satan to chase me out of church. So, I went back.
And this time the preacher…again before he was to preach…he came down out of the pulpit and started walking down along the one side of the church as if he were walking to the rear of the church. He stopped…and entered into my aisle where he soon took a seat right beside me and commenced to ask me for my phone number. I almost exploded. I got loud for a second then remembered that I was still in church. Then I took the piece of paper wrote it and turned away from the man…trying to ignor him as he said something else to me.
He did try to call me at least once…but I never answered. Finally, when I went to church again…just as he got up to begin preaching he stopped and began talking about how he had been trying to reach me. This mind you from the pulpit. I was livid.
Now, this was too much. This guy was beside himself and he wasn’t even trying to hide it. Funny, I am just now thinking of it…but this guy was stalking me. I could barely go into church without him doing something to embarrass me.
I went on and on for weeks about this guy…verbally voicing my anger about it. I know my son must have grown tired of hearing me complaining about this preacher and his poor behavior…but I could not help it.
First of all…this man was and is in his seventies…and though his wife was ill she was still very much alive. But I would not have wanted him regardless…as this man had known me since I was a kid. And I felt this whole thing was not only an insult to me…but to the memory of my parents.
Finally a few weeks ago I had an opportunity to confront this preacher…it was over something involving another issue…but sooner or later he was going to hear from me regarding the matter because it was eating at me. At that time I did not fail at the end of our discourse to tell him just how I felt about him putting his nasty forehead to mind and chasing behind me like he was some kind of dog in heat. Well, I didn’t quite say it that way…but I said it and got it off my chest any how. And I have not had to worry about him since…and it still feels good.
Anybody seeing any or all of that would have assumed that he and I had a relationship going on…and nothing could have been further from the truth. I do not know what could have possibly possessed him…and given him the idea that he could do such a thing to me…but he was definitely coming on strong. And the sheer thought of it made me sick to my absolute stomach.
Something has definitely happened to the church. It is doing something that my father called…‘going backwards instead of going frontward.’ The holy ground that the church once had…that it possessed and stood on…it is rapidly lossing. Too much of the changing times…excepting everything…and wanting to incorporate too many things of the world is pulling at the very fabric of the church. We are going backward…and lossing too much solid ground in the process.
Where are teachers and preachers who taught this stuff the way it used to be taught?
Since alot of people having been hitting this site to read about Ruby Dee lately…I can only assume that it has a lot to do with Academy Awards. I had read that she had gotten the nod for a nomination for a possible Oscar. Now that would have been nice, but I did not find her name anywhere on the list of Academy Nominees.
It cannot be argued that Ruby Dee is an actor’s actor. She along with a long list of outstanding black men and women certainly can be labelled ‘fine craftsmen’ in their art form…having worked in both stage and screen quietly for many years.
I often think of Lena Horne…or a Hattie McDaniel when I think of really great women actors or performers. ..like Paul Robeson…as well as Ruby Dee and others. I would have loved to have casted some of them in one of my films.
In case any of you are a budding screenwriter…here is the link for the Nicholl’s Fellowship which deadline is April 1st. And if you can’t get it together to submit something this year keep the link for next year…as it is an annual thing. You can hit the link to find out all the details. http://www.oscars.org/awards/nicholl/apply.html
Well, hope that you have enjoyed Black History Month…and learned as much as you could about some these men and woman who have melted away into our past…but should always be celebrated and their lives…work…and struggles always remind us of just how blessed we are…because of them.
And since I am ending on this note…on films and actors. I hated ‘Precious’ the movie. I found a lot of errors in that movie…technical stuff that was just hard to overlook. For 1…and I will just point out 1 thing only. Did you notice that Precious and her mother lived in an apartment building?
Then how in the world did they end up with an upstairs and downstairs in their apartment?
It was not like they were living the penthouse of some exclusive building.
And the music was all wrong…and a lot of other stuff. Okay…I said 1. But I just had to try and sneak that in.
But I did like Gabby, the young actor who played Precious. I however did not feel that the script was the very best. And though Mo’que really…really…really played her part. And she truly did…but I would hate to see an Oscar go to her.
Speaking of Mo’que while checking on something over the internet I happened to come across a note…that Mo’que herself had been a victim of incest…having been taken advantage of by her own brother. That story is in a past issue of Essence…October 2008 issue.
I had to shovel snow 3 times this week. One day twice…and it had me laid up for most of the week. But since those 2 days it has mostly been rain…and thank goodness. Because if it had been snow…the way it has been raining…night and day…they would have had to have flown somebody in here to dig us all out. We would have been buried under it.
Hope you had a good week.
I really really love winter…it is so beautiful.
Now, that would be so nice. And we could drink hot chocolate and talk about how the Republicans keep trying to hinder Obama by blocking everything that he is trying to do.
Thirthy inches of snow in New York City. Oh, wow…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2010
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1 comment February 26, 2010
Sometimes I just become so overjoyed that I can’t keep it to myself. And this is one of those times. I am suppose to be working on launching my website…which should be up this week. But I just couldn’t not before writing this blog…to tell you just how good God is to me.
I know that many many many people are currently facing foreclosure and until I started taking care of my parent’s property it really never mattered much to me. But following the passing of my father the 2 mortgage companies which had mortgages against our property put us into foreclosure. But not being on the mortgages the companies refused to tell me anything…and I was the only out of my 7 other siblings who felt our parent’s property was worth fighting for and eventually paying off.
But because my name is not on the loans for the mortgage (which of course it would not be…since the house belonged to my parents and it was their loan). So, the mortgage companies legally did not have to give me any information regarding my parent’s account…and for the most part that is what they did. They refused to share any information on their account with me…even though they knew that my parents were now both deceased. And the kind of information I wanted was a copy of the payment history of the entire loan and all other information concerning it…the whole history of mortgages.
Finally, CitiMortgage, one of the mortgage companies…the one with the highest balance and most difficult company to deal with…they sent me a copy of my parent’s mortgage. After going over the documents it showed that supposedly that mortgage had been refinanced in 1999. But my father by that time had been diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s. Besides his left hand shook badly…which meant that his signature would have been severely affected when he wrote. But that copy of the supposed mortgage refinanced by him showed no signs of a wobbly hand. And even if it had my father’s mental capacity being what it supposedly was at the time…he was not legally competent to enter into any such contractual agreement.
So, I filed papers disputing the foreclosure by CitiMortgage against my parent’s property based upon it being a false document…and as being such CitiMortgage’s foreclosure was being based upon a fraudulent document which would nullify that contract and halt their foreclosure based on the amount outstanding due to that document.
Well, after I don’t know how many months…and after receiving information from CitiFinancial that they were in possession of my parent’s property. I went back to court. Because CitiMortgage/CitiFinancial had failed to answer my complaint against them. So, I entered a default against them. Today, I received my notification that my default had been granted.
I cannot tell you how overjoyed I am. Through the grace and mercy of God…I had won. This decision totally knocks out a mortgage which added over a hundred thousand additional dollars onto my parent’s prior loan.
I knew in my heart that my father would have never placed an additional $100,000 of debt upon our property. That money was supposedly against a loan of nearly $30,000 at an interest rate of over $60,000 making CitiMortgage a mighty big winner in that contract. My father would have never done…and particularly since he had already had more money than the alleged near $30,000 the loan approved for…as he had more than that already in at least one of his several bank accounts. So, I went into court Pro-se as a heir to the estate of my father…and went to fight. But God fought that battle for me. And I cannot thank Him enough.
I wrote this blog because I know that many people are going through much of the same. It is very difficult trying to go to bed night after night…and not know whether or not tomorrow you will be deposed and kicked out into the streets…because some bank or mortgage company took over your home.
One of the biggest frauds going…happens when people in mortgage companies find out that there is a dispute among family members following the death of someone of whom they hold a loan against their property. This opens the door for all kinds of things to happen if the people or a person within the mortgage company is a distrustful crook…that might shock some. But it is very true…and not just with mortgage companies but lawyers also…anyone sitting in a position they see where they can take advantage of.
Anybody sitting in a position who can take advantage of such a situation many times does. Because they seize upon the family members lack of communication with one another and their inner turmoils and conflicts to keep the family members too busy at each other’s throat…and it allows the cheats the freedom to do whatever they will. It is for this reason that I asked to see the complete history of my parent’s mortgage from the initial mortgage on. For which I never got because they refused to release to me. Nor did any notices of court dates come to house regarding the foreclosure hearings.
By not getting those notices…the notices regarding the foreclosure hearings…I could not appear in court to defend my parent’s property. And since none of my other siblings cared…they didn’t go either. This meant that that by default the mortgage company won their foreclosure because nobody showed up on our side of the table…or who represented us in court.
I tell people all the time…the worst thing you can do in a court case…is not show up. By failing to show up the other side automatically wins. Give yourself a fighting chance. Show up and tell the judge your side of the story…you may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. It could make a difference.
If you have been reading these blogs then you also know that I had entered a case in the Appellate Court.
Perhaps you are familiar with this…and are guilty of the same. Though I must say as a rule I am not a procrastinator…but for a couple of weeks I had been walking around with the letter from the Appellate Court unopened. I get tons of mail…and there are some pieces that I put off opening simply because I don’t want to think about it…and I am afraid of what it might be informing me of. This was the case regarding my default notification from the court and this letter from the Appellate Court…both of which I finally decided I couldn’t put it off any longer. So, I opened them up this morning.
It turned out I had been dreading good news from both courts. The notice I got from the Appellate Court was to inform me that I would not have argue orally our case before the judges. Though I had requested to do so…I really didn’t want to do it. But from where I stand nobody can better present my case than me…and particularly since when my son had gotten a lawyer…the lawyer told him to settle for $1,800. Our car had been totaled, my son suffered back injury (which still plagues him today)…and on top of that the repairs that the insurer of the other vehicle (the one that caused the accident) authorized were not sufficient considering the amount damage sustained to our vehicle.
So, I filed the papers myself…when you do this it is called “Pro-Se.” But it was not because of any of the reasons I have already listed that drove me to file suit. No, I filed because they had returned to my son a faulty automobile which could have killed him…and they didn’t care. The car shook…the bumper would fall off while he was driving…and at the time of the accident my son was away at college in a town which had no public transportation…not even cab service…which is why I had to buy him a car in the first place.
So, I filed suit in conjunction with my son against Allstate Insurance. And today I heard from the Appellate Court…because if you recall, also in a prior blog, I explained how my son had really won the case…but how the whole thing had been a set-up and ended up in front of a judge who was friendly with the other side. Don’t act shock to hear this…it happens everyday…watch LAW & ORDER. It is regular practice for lawyers to call the clerk’s office to find out which judge is in what court and when. And try to schedule their hearing before judges who are very lenient or favorable to them.
Had we lost our case in court fairly…I would have accepted that decision. But I could not knowing that we had not been unjustly treated and all our evidence and testimonies had been overlooked. So, I filed a Notice of Appeal…and to the Appeals Court we were a going.
One of the most involved documents I have ever had to put together was the legal brief that was required of the Appeals Courts. It was over 100 pages in length and required many hours of research in a local law library and several days of typing…but I did it. By the time our case finally got heard…following all the hearings for the various pre-hearing court dates for…Motions to be entered…and Mediation…etc..and all our travelling back and forth…many times when we barely had the money to go and come back. But we did it any ways by faith…over 900 miles each time.
Now, the notice from the Appeals Court today informed me that we would not have to present our case orally before the Appellate Court. I had covered everything so completely in that brief…and in great detail…including the court transcript to back up my statements. I am so happy that we do not have to go down and stand before them. Standing before several judges dressed in black robes…would have been a bit un-nerving for me. But if I had to…I would have done it. I had prepared myself to do it. Because from the on-set…I had not filed the papers to lose our court case. And I always knew it was just a matter of how much…because we had all the documentations, receipts, invoices, pictures etc. to prove our case. Many times in court just having truth on yourself is not enough…you must have hard evidence…and we had both truth and hard evidence. Then they next thing is to be capable of delivering that evidence before in a logical and as near legal manner as you can master.
I tell you this…because I do believe that if more people sued for wrongs and injustices…maybe some of us others would not have to. We live in an area where they want to make you feel guilty for having to sue. But believe me…many times a law suit is necessary to resolve many matters. The problem is most lawyers won’t take any cases that they believe they won’t make any money on…or that may tie them up for too long. This leaves those who can’t go into court for themselves with no choice but to drop the matter. And even I have had to decide whether or not something was a battle to fight or not.
I have not sued everybody…though my son and most of friends believe I have. But I have not. Some of them I have left for God to deal with. He can do things to them that I cannot.
This reminds me of a time when I was in grade school. While in the cafeteria one day just as I was about to sit down…this girl took her foot and snatched the stool from up under me. I fell flat…and everybody laughed at me.
I was so mad that I began praying to God to do something to the girl. And a couple of years later I realized he had. The girl is very unattractive…and I have always thought God did that to her because of me. Truly, I have. From that point on I have never prayed to God to take care of anybody else for me. I thought His punishment to her was a bit too harsh.
So, for the cases I decided not to pursue…I have just left it up to His discretion if He wants to do something about it or not. The Bible says…He rights every wrong.
But I will keep you posted on the Appellate Court decision.
The reason behind this blog is to encourage those of you who are facing foreclosure…or any other problem…legal or otherwise. Do not give up. Go back through your paperwork…there may be something in it which can turn your situation around. You may find a loop hole…lawyers use them all the time. But if they can so can you.
Always remember that God has the final word in all situations. And that He is faithful.
My parent’s property is still in foreclosure but now all the money paid on the property from the date of that refinance date that I disputed to present will have to be reverted to the old mortgage…and with interest.
The Bible is true…God is always working it out for our good. I am just so happy.
God is good. And I am so happy that he is a friend of mind.
As I have said in my other Black History Month posts…the reason I have not given you any information on the people that I list is so that you will be motivated to research who they are. This will prove to far more helpful to you…and to your ability to remember their accomplishments.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
1 comment February 24, 2009
Out for 9 months and the game just has not been the same. First of all who has been all that interested in watching the tournaments since Tiger Woods has been out due to knee surgery? And during his recovery his wife gave birth to a new baby too.
Now, the proud father of 2, a daughter and son…Tiger hit the green this past Wednesday in his big return to the PGA at the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship.
I did watch as he played his last tournament prior to the surgery…and how even through the pain of the injury Tiger pulled it off. He just refused to give up…or in. That is the same way most athletes approach their sports.
In fact, I happened to come across this clip of Serena Williams who had gone out to play while fighting with a stomach virus. Watch this youtube clip below…and you will understand the amount of commitment professional athletes have for their game.
All I can say is that we have all been hit with it one time or another.
But if I had…had a stomach virus…they wouldn’t have seen me. It is hard to get away from the toilet with a stomach virus. But I guess you have to…when you know that thousands of people have come out to see you win…or get beat…or just because they love the sport.
Before Tiger hit the pro golf circuit…I have to admit that I never watched golf at all…that was near the beginning period when I started to watch less and less television. One of the reasons for which I have kind of kicked television to the curve is because of something my father would always say to me.
He would say-
“They have theirs and you’ve got to get yours.”
I used to hate hearing that. I would hear it after my mother would go to school for Open House and come back telling my father all the things the teacher had to say about me. You know…how I wasn’t doing this or I wasn’t doing that…or how I needed to improve in this or that…and how much Imay not have been paying attention while in class. Which often led to my getting a whipping.
When I would try to explain to daddy that the teacher had said all of those things because she really didn’t like me. But before I could open my mouth and get half of that out…daddy would usually cut me off saying-
“The teacher got hers.”
And he would say that sternly…and then he would start whipping.
And I am definitely all for parents whipping their kids. I whipped mine. But it is because of whipping…that I refused to do many things that others I knew didn’t hesitate to do. I will never forget when I decided to try my hand at smoking.
In Junior High School the girls during lunch period would gang into the girl’s bathroom down by the cafeteria smoking after lunch. One day, I had bought a pack of cigarettes and after eating lunch headed for the ladie’s room. Just as we were just getting started passing around the cigarettes and lighting up in came the vice principle of the school. We all went running scattering like a bunch of I don’t know what out through another door. I dashed back into the cafeteria took a seat at a table and started pretending as though I had been their the whole time.
The vice principle had caught one of the girls…and as he marched her through the cafeteria she pointed at me and said-
“She was there too.”
And I guess she pointed out a few others. And we all ended up in the principle’s office.
One by one the principle, Mr. Romano, called us into his office and began calling our parents. He left his door open so I could clearly see him and hear him on the phone. As I took a seat outside of the his office awaiting my turn to be called inside…I started crying. I was just a boo-whooing…and I do mean boo-whooing the whole time. I was crying and sobbing my poor little self to death…because I knew that my parents were going to kill me. I was the last one that the principle called into his office…and to my surprise he counseled me and warned me…and then sent me back to class. He had not called my parents. And from that day to this I have never touched another cigarette either. And have never been tempted to do so again.
So, yeah…I believe in whipping the child. Not in anger but out of love. I hated whipping my son…some times I even would go to him and just wrap my arms around him after. But I loved him…and prefered that I taught him rather than a bunch of police who would have no compassion for him…if they found themselves whipping him later. It is something I have never had to worry about…outside of the fact of him a young black male in America. Because he has never had a brush with the law…though I had had my share of going back and forth to school about him…like my parents did for me. And I have had to sit in the back of some of his classes…but by the time he got to the 10th grade he told me-
“Ma, I’m too old for you to still be sitting in the back of my classes.”
And he was right. Sometimes, parents just hate to let go. But the kids have to grow up. They have to be allowed to become their own people…but that doesn’t mean we stop parenting them. They will always be the children…and we will always be the parent.
Their can be no denying the privotal roles that both Earl Woods and Richard Williams…as well as, Joe Jackson (father of the Jacksons)…played in the lives of their children. Without whom their children lives may have been very very different…and they certainly may not have become the people we now recognize them to be.
Investing time in your children can really pay off…and as you see by the examples of Joe Jackson, Earl Jones and Richard Williams. Many times it can also put your children on their path.
Going back to why I really do not watch much television…well, besides my schedule and really not having ever been a big television person except for when I was child. Then I stayed up under the TV…but not now…and not for years. Besides there’s not really much on TV but a bunch of junk. How many different shows can you watch of someone trying to win a million dollars? After a while you have to get bored. And I have to say that it is because of my father and what he would always say to me-
“They got theirs already. You’ve got to get yours.”
Meaning the teacher had a job already and was making a living…and that I had to work to get mine. This meant I had to learn something…pay attention in school…get my school work done etc. And that I didn’t have the leisure of wasting any time in order to work towards learning what I needed to learn in order to make something out of myself.
Daddy would say the same thing about television just as he was about to cut it off and tell us to go study.
“They got theirs.”
Meaning I wasn’t learning nothing sitting in front of the TV…and those people had already learned what they needed to know…because they were now making their living.
And so…I hear those words still today as I sit and work…whether it be on class work, or writing screenplays or even this blog. Or even while working on my books. I am always working towards my goals.
Talking about my books…I hope you have not forgotten about “THE BISHOP’S WIFE.” The date is nearing for when you can get your copy. And I am sure you will enjoy it…it is probably not anything else you have ever read because it is a bit radical. But you will love the storyline…it will keep you reading I am sure.
So much for my station break…now, back to what I began writing this blog about.
Already the top grossing athlete of all times, Tiger Woods by September of 2007 had already earned over $86 million on the golf course. He is widely recognized as the first athlete who will exceed the billion dollar mark before his career is over. And that $86 million…mind you was only in tournament money…not inclusive of all those little added perks called endorsements and things like that which he also has. I known you have seen Tiger in all those television commercials…e.g. American Express…Nike…and what is that? Buick…or whatever it is…you know those automobile commercials. So, yes…Tiger is raking it in.
But since Tiger’s absence off the golf circuit for the past 9 months the golf world has been hurting. Their number one drawer had been sidelined…and the tickets and interest in the golf plummeted. I must admit that I myself never watched the game one day in my life until a little young man decided to end his college days and step out into the pro-golf world. Thus was the beginning of my interest in the sport of golf. Though I will also admit that prior to Tiger Woods ever hitting my television screen…I always wondered why they bothered to show golf on TV. When they took those long shots following the ball into the air…I never saw one thing. But that was before Tiger…I can see those balls clearly now, baby.
Sent almost my entire day in bed and I am not ashamed to say it. And I have enjoyed every minute of it. Though I did get up to wash some clothes and to mop the kitchen and bathroom floors…and oh, cooked me a little something. But that was it. And I plan to do the same thing tomorrow minus the washing of clothes and the mopping of the floors, of course.
And oh, yes…it is still Black History Month. But I included so many photos already in this blog…I will save my Black History stuff for my next blog. Definitely hope you are learning something…or trying to find out more on the people whom I have already placed into my other blogs this month.
And one more thing… Daddy had only a 7th grade education and could barely read yet he owned his own business…put us all through school…Princeton, Moorehouse, University of Alabama, University of Kentucky , Brandesis University etc. He and my mother both believed strongly in education. He was a highly successful businessman, as we lived very well, who never paid a bill when it due but always as soon as he got one. He never tried to cheat anybody or do anything illegal…and he never owned one charge card. Yet, he owned his business, had 2 houses…and paid for everything that we needed as he was definitely the head of our house…though my mother was the boss (smile). They made a great team.
My mother was always taking classes. She had graduated from nursing school and was the first black nurse in the little town down South that I was born in. Having graduated from nursing school down there at that time in history…and being the only one…I can’t imagine what my mother must have had to go through. She, however, took great pleasure in studying…she loved it…and these were classes she took many years while we were growing up. She took typing classes, accounting classes…and I can’t remember what else. But she even had a lady come to our house who taught us piano…and gave her voice lessons.
My parents were something else. I have to admit though that though we (meaning their kids) thought we were rich…we never really knew that we were rich until years later as we looked back over our life with our parents compared to those who lived around us. We were the riches people on our street. The riches people in our church…and the riches people most places we went. We never walked anywhere except to church on Sunday mornings to Sunday school as young children as my parents always had a car…and didn’t drive junk. Not that they flaunted anything either…that was not their nature. But they had moved North to ensure a better life for their children. And that they did…even for their grand children they did it…and they did it marvelously well.
Our riches were far greater than anything financially my parents may or may not have had. It was something that cannot be purchased for a price…and worth more than rubies. They gave us love.
Well, God bless…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
3 comments February 22, 2009
Heard her talk about being on a diet…and when she showed up at Barack Obama’s inaugural in her grey suit with her Sunday morning go to church hat…she looked fabulous.
She was most recently spotted here on her way from the White House…pushing a shopping cart in Walmart. Signed autographs and took pictures…and people crowded around. I said I wanted to see the pictures…but my son saw them. And he said-
“Ma, it was her.”
I thought it interesting when I saw that Obama’s oldest daughter made sure she got a shot of Aretha with her camera during the inaugural ceremony. Those Obama’s are teaching their children well. She knew Aretha and who it was she was looking at…and she wasn’t going to let Aretha get pass her without grabbing a picture. Smart girl.
I didn’t know that Aretha had signed up with Jenny Craig back in 2007. She might have lost some pounds…but evidently had like most…put them back on and then some. But at the inaugural she really looked great. And I was happy to see that she had shed lots of that extra added bagage…those dirty little pounds.
Her plan was this…
I heard her comment on some show that…she eats what she’s suppose to for 4 or 3 days…then on 3 days eats whatever she wants. I think that is a great plan…because it seems to be working for Lady Re.’
Now, I have just found out what it really is. She has a new somebody in her life. It will make you want to do something… and real quick. Get somebody…and see if you don’t want to make sure he only has eyes for you. Oh, yeah…you’ll start losing real quick.
And don’t have him look good. Because if he looks good…you will want to look good with him. No self-respecting woman would think any differently. And Aretha is the real r-e-s-p-e-c-t woman…didn’t you know?
I just hope that this one is the one she has always been hoping for. After 3 or 4 prior marriages…a bout with the bottle (many many years ago)…one of her mansions burning down…and some local legal worries. I think it is about time…for plenty of happiness in her life.
And I certainly wish you well, Lady Re.’
One thing about Aretha Franklin…no matter what…you can always say that she has been a class act. I remember when I had considered her for a concert gig…the price tag, however, was a bit too much for this little ol’ country girl…$65,000.00 with a quarter of it up front…and I think maybe a precentage. Now, that is business.
But that whole diet thing is mind over matter. If your mind is not there…then save yourself from the bother. It won’t work.
But if you can get your mind there…you have won before you start.
I know some people who did the gastric bypass and a few other things. Though I must say…my friend who did the lap band raved about. And she truly did look good. But she told me that before she did it she went to meetings and read lots of information on it first. And she said she spoke in great detail with the doctor who was going to handle her surgery…and she too told me she was on her way to the altar once again.
I must admit to admiring women…and men who don’t want to just lay around with everybody. And then find out that have nothing.
Marriage is good…and if you are going to be with somebody then let them marry you.
But that gastric bypass…I have a sister who did it. She can’t eat anything without getting sick to her stomach. And the worst part is…though…yes, she lost lots of weight and even though she can’t keep much down…she is still over weight. And it is all due to not having gotten her mind to where it needed to be. Sick or not she eats and then throws up some of everything she eats. I would hate to live like that.
If you really want to lose weight…learn how to put the fork down first. And believe me…you won’t need anything else.
It’s Black History Month…so enjoy…
Wow…the kids do not have anything compared to this.
Enjoy your day…and this weekend. It’s freezing cold outside…but the funny part is that the house doesn’t seem quite so cold to me any more. Guess I must be getting used to it. My father would smile. All of my life I have been cold…because I am extremely anemic. I, in fact, am suppose to be taking iron tablets everyday…and I do when I can remember. But I have to really work on that.
Since, so many people have so much more to take by way of medication…and if I desire not to join them… Well, you know… I better take what I have to right now. Because based upon what they say having a low number of red blood cells can be very unhealthy. And I do not want anything to sneak up on me.
Between yesterday and today…it has looked like snow. In fact, there were flurries this morning. Might be too cold…it can’t snow when the weather is too cold. But I guess even in that we are doing okay…because Vee, my friend’s daughter in Chicago…had told me that Chi-town was definitely freezing.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card. Thank you.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
11 comments February 21, 2009
Well, it is snowing again. It is suppose to snow through the night… then turn to rain and sleet by tomorrow morning. So, I know that tomorrow will probably be a day to stay home. But I don’t mind all the snow.
For the past few days the mounds of snow which we already have had started to melt down pretty good. For February this really isn’t so bad… not yet. It has been said that February goes out like a lion… meaning either a lot more snow or plenty more cold.
On Monday, I decided to do something that I had been hoping to pay someone to come in and do for me. Through the years my parent’s house has taken such a beating. And the kitchen walls and woodwork looked so terrible…and I would have liked to have found someone other than me to come in and clean them. But since the house is without heat due to our blown furnace as you may or may not have read in a couple of my earlier blogs…I have been keeping the stove on with a couple of pots boiling water. This has caused everything in the kitchen area to stream up. Which meant that all that filth that I had been forced to look at which had caked upon the doors and other woodwork over the years in the kitchen have been steaming down off the doors etc…etc… So, since it had already loosened up the years of grime… I just decided to pull out a bucket and an old scrub brush and get busy. And that is how I spent my President’s Day.
It felt good to be finally getting those doors scrubbed down and then standing off to view my handy work. Real good. I had been loathing touching the doors or anything else in the kitchen… or for that matter around the house.
When we were kids… I hated those Saturday mornings when my parent’s woke us up early in the morning with buckets of soapy hot water waiting on us. It meant that we would be scrubbing most of the day.
Oh, how I hated those Saturdays when they would have us scrubbing down all the woodwork in the house and then scrub the floors too. And my father liked to have us get on our hands and knees to do that. Oh, how I hated it.
But as I started washing down those filthy doors with the old scrub brush thoughts of those days came back to me… and I was filled with pride. Because here I was… in my parent’s house again… and I was taking care of their property just the way they had taught me so many years ago.
While my son was talking to me last night… he happened to mention that I wouldn’t be able to watch TV anymore if I didn’t go out a buy a converter box. This is the thing I hate about new technology.
Why do they have to force it down our throats?
There are so many people who went out and invested in those large projector type televisions or other older models… only to find out that that television system is now out dated and they have no option but to convert it to a digital reception system.
They did the same thing when they decided against 8-track tapes, beta systems, turntables, records, VHS tapes, cassette tapes etc…etc…etc…all gone now. What you see is…is that the old stuff goes on sale and those looking for great deals rush out unaware that the only reason the stuff is on sale in the first place is because they are out dated…and that format is no longer going to be available…because they simply stopped making it.
Today, I’m looking for someone to build me an external floppy drive disk reader. I hadn’t realized it until the other day when I was looking for something… that I didn’t have those files on anything digital… but on a floppy disk. For which I have also run into the same problem with my word-processor files which I had saved on my processor’s little disk. I had not been paying any attention and before I knew it word-processors were no longer on the market… they had been replaced by computers. And it had took me a long time to convert from a regular typewriter to a word-processor.
So, by the time I finally bought one…a word processor… the item was nearly dead already… and computers were coming into the marketplace taking over their place. And I had never noticed.
This is why when my son wanted to buy a 10″ DVD player…I cautioned him and told him no. I suggested that he invest in a laptop computer instead…where he would have a choice of much larger screens plus be able to do more with it. And he did just like his mother had suggested… just like the good little boy he is (smile). Now, when his mother is away from home or can’t get on-line on her own computer… I just use his laptop. Now, how good is that… for being resourceful?
No, no need trying to fight it. It is a done deal. If you want to continue to watch television… and got rid of your cable provider years ago… then you will have to go out and invest in a converter box. The good part though is… I rarely watch television. So, it really doesn’t affect me much.
Well, it is still Black History Month… and I really haven’t spoken about anyone in these blogs… outside of giving you their names. What good is my telling you all about them… when researching to find out that information for yourself will prove more valuable to you… in that you may remember them or something about them because you looked up info on them on your own.
I can only say that I have a deep fondness for black people… and have for all of my life. I have read many books… and loved Langston Hughes’ book on Jesse B. Simple. I used to always have a copy of the Black Anthology. Read Baldwin’s ‘Amen Corner’… which I saw performed by Kumuba Workshop under the direction of Val Grey Ward. It was one of the things which also inspired me to move to Chicago… besides, of course, my hopes of getting hired by a radio station there… WGCI or WJPC. I have forgotten the other black radio stations they had in Chicago back then. But I loved those productions by Kumuba. But even more I enjoyed the time I actually met James Baldwin. He wasn’t a very big man…and he looked very much like his photos. But there was something about him… an aura about him… I guess you could say. He extended his hand out towards me looking me right in my eyes. And I knew I was in the presence of greatness… yet so humble… and kind. He was quite gracious and unassumming. I loved him.
I had seen the play… ‘Amen Corner’… and I had read his book ‘Go Tell it on the Mountain.’ But at that time, I never knew that he was still alive until he went to Mt. Holyoke College to teach.
Alexis, a friend of mine had introduced him to me. They had become very close and I could see and understand why. They shared something in common. It is hard if you have never felt that you looked as good as everybody else…it is hard to understand how some people battle with these feelings most of their lives…as did James Baldwin and myself. It is what I thought about Gwendolyn Brooks when I looked upon her picture as I added it into my last blog. Yet, in every picture of her…she always seemed so happy and smiling. And as I looked upon her pictures…I thought-
“She must have been a most beautiful person in ever possible way.”
Most recently I had to take some pictures. I should preface this by saying…I am not a big picture taking person…because I have never liked the way I looked. But I needed a promotional picture for my book. So, I set about trying to get one that I felt I could live with. But upon taking a few pictures and looking at them…I found that I have my grandmother’s nose. I must admit I have been laughing and smiling ever since.
I have my grandmother’s nose. And I never knew it.
My grandmother didn’t have just any old nose…it was unique. And I had not seen anyone else with it until we went to the church convention in Detroit this past July. While there we re-united with some long lost family members. And I sat there almost the whole time looking at this woman…a cousin…and thinking-
“She has Mauh’s nose.”
It was all I could think. I just kept thinking that over and over again in my head…and I rarely took my eyes off of that woman’s nose because I loved seeing it. So, to look into a picture and find that I have my grandmother’s nose is like finding out that all of these year’s God had played a trick on me. I have my grandmother’s nose.
I love having my grandmother’s nose. I can’t believe I have it. And I have it all by myself… no one else just me and that woman… my mother’s cousin in Detroit. We’ve got Mauh’s nose. Seeing that nose I didn’t feel so ugly anymore… because Mauh was not ugly. And in her day… she really must have been something… and even up to the time she died… she still had a boyfriend. Or should I say… male friend. I used to kid her about Mr. Alexander…the old man who everyday used to come by her house to visit with her while we were down there.
Mauh’s entire wardrobe was made of red. Everything in her house was red. Every pocket book she had was red and every pair of shoes. Her bed spreads…everything…table cloths…everything all red. Everything Mauh owned was red. And if it wasn’t…then it was pink.
Daddy used to say that from the time he met Mauh-
“She’s always been 30.”
He would grin real wide when he said it…because Mauh never admitted her age to anyone.
But she was never ugly. And I had her nose.
And from that moment I started seeing myself in a different light. And you know what?
I’m not ugly. I’ve got Mauh’s nose.
I’m not ugly. And for all these years I thought I was.
Hope you enjoy your day tomorrow. I will probably be buried up under the snow…but I will be loving every minute of it…and still smiling. Because…well…because I’ve got Mauh’s nose. And it feels so wonderful.
Well, God bless…
Add a comment February 19, 2009
Today I woke up to the most interesting phone call. It was from a daughter of a friend of mine. I had been thinking of her since I had not heard from her for a few weeks and we usually try to touch bases with each other at least once a week, if we can. But that just does not always happen.
So, yesterday evening while waiting on my son, I decided to give her a call and received no answer. So, it was a pleasant surprise to see her number pop up on my cell phone when she buzzed me back this morning.
The good part was that she had not been sick…well… She hadn’t had to go to the hospital this week. Yes, I did say this week.
Very early on she had begun having to deal with a series of health issues. Many of which most people would have just given up and gone and crawled into a corner…but she didn’t.
It has been a fight for her…weekly…and I have no doubt daily. But she has remained strong through it. And that is really the best part about speaking with her because through it all she has managed to smile and laugh her way through it…every single episode. She always continues to see a brighter side.
I could not imagine myself having to deal with heavy health issues which have invaded her body since she reached womanhood. For one thing she has what Bernie Mack had Sarcoidosis. I don’t really know what that is…but it can cause sudden death and is considered a mysterious medical disorder.
But Vee, and I don’t often call names, also lives in Chi-town…that is Chicago for those of you who do not know what that means…just like Bernie Mack had. She started off our conversation telling me how she has been fighting the severe Chicago cold and the frosty wind blowing in off of Lake Michigan. And then she began to tell me about her ex-husband and how he was recently put into a hospice.
This was a guy whom when she was a high school teenager every other word that proceeded out of her mouth was his name. It was his name and his name only. I thought it interesting after years of having lost contact with her family…and upon finally becoming reconnected with them due to the death of her uncle, Tyrone Davis…whom if you are old enough know him by his hits…such as “Can I Change My Mind” and “In the Mood”…I thought it interesting that she had married him.
It was clearly a bad and most severe case of ‘puppy love’…and Vee had it bad. She adored that boy. And it was interesting that someone whom she had adored so much she did eventually marry. But through the years it had not worked out and eventually they got divorced only to find out that they liked each other well enough to be friends. And it is nice when people can do that. Break up but yet be able to pull and salvage something out those years together…and they did…and it was especially good because they had a child together.
Vee told me that he was now placed in this hospice suffering from having cancerous tumors all through his body.
Warning signs are so important…but nothing beats a regular check up. Even I am guilty of not always wanting to go to the doctors on a regular basis. As I never get sick…but never getting sick doesn’t mean you don’t need to ensure a healthy you.
At the end of last semester when I was just finishing up with all my classes…after carrying 18 credits for the semester…one morning my right hand began shaking uncontrollably. Since, I had to do a presentation in a few hours…I just thought I was becoming nervous or something.
But near the beginning of my second class on that day…my right hand began to freeze up on me. It would lock up and I could not open it…nor could I do anything with it. By this time I knew it was something more than just possible nerves bothering me..and I began to think I was near to having a stroke or either a heart attack. So, I immediately knew I needed to leave class to get to a hospital.
Have you ever had any warning signs?
Did you take heed…and realize that your body was trying to tell you something?
It is true…our bodies are like fine tuned automobiles…and when you start to hear some noise…well…in our case something starts to act up you better go and get it checked out. I understand being fearful of hearing bad news.
But what is worst?
Hearing the bad news while something can still be done…or hearing the bad news when it is too late to do anything about it?
I will never forget Mrs. Ripperton, Minnie Ripperton’s mother, who used to be a member of 6th Grace United Presbyterian Church in Chicago…down on Cottage Grove and 35th Street. She would talk to me sometimes about Minnie and how much pain Minnie had been in before her death. (Minnie’s daughter currently stars on Saturday Night Live…Maya Rudolph…who obviously has both of her grandparents sense of humor. That Mr. Ripperton was so so funny…and Mrs. Ripperton called him ‘Rip.’ They were a great couple. Wonderful family…Elaine and all of them. I remember them all well.)
One day Mrs. Ripperton held out her arm and said-
“You see this…Minnie could take her arm and beat it against the table and not feel anything. That’s how hard her arm had become and how filled up it was with all the pain.”
I had known nothing about cancer…but that day Mrs. Ripperton told me something about it that has stuck with me through the years. And I knew from that day that cancer was something I would never want to get. But illness is hard no matter what it is that people have…and by hard here…I mean difficult to deal with.
So, it was interesting to me that Vee would have called me giving me the information on how she had been staying up talking to her ex-husband over the phone…praying with him and reading the Bible to him. Though she said he really didn’t want to hear it…but she would read it to him anyway.
Many people say that they don’t want to hear it…that they do not want to have anybody telling them anything about the Bible or any more people coming to in to pray over them. I have heard it…but when nothing else can help…you’ve got to learn how to call upon the name of the Lord.
A friend of mine in New York became very ill. I had not seen her for a while. So, one day I decided to run by her house which was only a couple blocks up and just around the corner from me.
When her mother answered the door she told me that Jackie wasn’t feeling well…yet, another name that I have mentioned in this blog…but this blog is filled with so many people if I didn’t I call a name or 2…or 3…you would become confused. When I went up stairs and her mother opened Jackie’s bedroom door to allow me in…I was horrified. I was looking at death and I knew it.
Jackie was not even a shell of herself…her lips were a bright red…her complexion was very very dark…all her weight was gone…she was curled up in the fetus position…and when I approached her…I said immediately-
“Let me go get Shirley so she can pray for you.”
Jackie refused speaking in a very low and slow voice saying-
“I have had a enough praying for me. I don’t want any more prayers.”
But I kept begging…I was afraid for her and the only thing I knew to do was to go get somebody who get a prayer through to God. I was not saved…but I knew the power of finding someone who truly could get to God’s ear. Finally, Jackie consented.
I ran down the street and through the door open to Shirley’s real estate office and said-
“Shirley, you’ve got to come. You’ve got to come and pray for Jackie. You’ve got to come.”
Shirley got up and rushed out of her office leaving her secretary to handle her clients. And we both rushed back up the street and around the corner.
Shirley had brought with her…her oil…and as she went into the room she began praying and anointing Jackie’s body with the oil. I stood rubbing Jackie’s feet trying to pray as much as I could in agreement with Shirley as tears ran down my cheeks. I cried for my friend…and I prayed for God to spare her life.
Shirley soon left but I continued to rub Jackie’s limbs…and before I left some time later… first I saw a toe move and then she stretch out one of her legs slightly. Jackie was coming out of that fetal position. And I could see strength coming back into her body. Thank God for Shirley and the power of prayer.
Today, Jackie is doing just fine…and I have no doubt that she will never doubt the power of prayer ever again. It truly does changes things.
But I understood Vee’s ex-husband being bitter and angry over his illness. He is young yet and a death sentence has been pronounced over his head. That has to be harder than hard to deal with. And then to be placed in a hospice…the ultimate declaration of death upon him.
But even in that state God is able to turn his situation around.
Which brings me to another story…since when I had tried to reach Vee last night and couldn’t…I decided to buzz someone else. Tanya…and again I rarely called people’s names in these blogs…but sometimes I just can’t help it. When you come upon outstanding people…it is worth calling out their names.
At first I thought I was awaking her from her sleep as her voice sounded funny…but she told me no. She had just gotten out of the hospital…and she informed me that she had been there for an entire week. Her lungs had filled with fluid and she had suffered a bad asthma attack…but while in the hospital she had shared a room with a woman whom she told me had been very ill.
But it is the treatment of the woman by her doctor that Tanya really shared with me. Tanya said that the doctor had been so coarse with the woman who was…laying on her death bed. He told her that they had the papers from her health proxy to not resuscitate. Tanya said the doctor was not kind or caring at all in his words…and that when he left the woman felt even worst.
But Tanya told me how she encouraged the woman by saying-
“Don’t worry, ma’am. He doesn’t know. You might not need to be resuscitated at all. Can’t no doctor tell you when you are going to die. You might even out live him.”
Because of the various medical plans that people now have to have in order to be treated…most medical facilities feel they no longer have to treat you with any type of respect, dignity or courtesy. After all once you give them your card number they already have your money…it is as good as in the bank. And this is a sad commentary but true.
The medical field has gone to the dogs and pit-bulls…private companies have gone into the medical business as ‘for profit entities’…much like many prisons have also done. They care nothing about trying to save people or making them better. They would have you come back and forth a hundred times…while pretending they are checking on this or checking on that. While all the while they are just eating up your medical benefits. It is sad…quite sad.
But t is funny how God puts people in the right place at the right time. Every now and then we all need someone in the right place…at the right time to encourage us when we are going through a rough time in our life. And oftentimes…these people know and have not just a sense of who God is…but a true relationship with Him as well.
One morning a couple of years ago, I woke up with a pain to my lower back area. It was a very severe pain…so much so that whenever I moved I would scream out in pain. As the day progressed the pain progressed…it got worst. I could barely stand, walk, turn or lay down without that severe excruciating pain getting the best of me. I, however, prefer to suffer pain rather than to take any type of medication. So, I endure things until they pass…if they pass. Thus far God has blessed me usually…they pass. But this problem kept on growing worst. And it inhibited me…I could not make the slightest move without screaming out.
I had to push myself through this pain and it was very hard. But I decided to drive into New York and to go to church. While in the car the pain was bad but I didn’t let it stop me…and the funny thing about it was this. When I got to the church and walked inside the pain was gone. As if it had never been. It was gone throughout almost the entire church service and I thought it had left me entirely. And it had…up until the time the service ended. And slowly the pain began to resume.
That night I decided to stay over in New York with mother. Yes, the one I have written about in several of these blogs who recently passed near the latter part of last year. Mother enjoyed my company. And I…well, I enjoyed hers as well. She was a very funny and witty woman…but she also loved the Lord and she possessed much wisdom. I loved talking with her as she was well versed on everything from politics to the latest news topics of interest…as well as, the Bible.
She would often ask me to stay or come into New York to spend some time with her after I had left the city to return home to take care of some family matters. But most of the time I would not…I did not want to infringe upon her or our friendship…though I knew that she did not mind. But occasional I would stay over…and this was one of those times.
By the time we had reached mother’s apartment…my pain was almost totally back and occasionally I would screech out in pain. But by morning it had gotten far worst…I barely got up off the bed…and when I did I knew I would not be able to lay back down. So, I could not lay down and nor could I stand. It was terrible…and I was at mother’s house to make it even worst.
Not wanting to worry mother over my condition, I decided I better go to the hospital. Mother and I had lived around the corner from each other…and the hospital was right across the street from her apartment. So, I made my way out the door…into the elevator…across the street and into the hospital where I told them upon stepping up to the reception window-
“I can’t stand and I can’t sit…I think you need to lay me down somewhere.”
And they immediately admitted me into emergency and they sent a person around to me to take all my information once I finally was able to get into a laying position.
A fairly good-looking doctor came and began servicing me…and eventually he told me my problem. I had a slipped disc. When I asked him about how I could get it fix…he told me I couldn’t. He said that the disc has to slip back into place on its own. I was in such pain…that I was willing to go up under the knife to never have to find myself back in this state again. And that was rare…because I usually say no to such things…to operations if I felt I could live without them. But every time I moved I was screaming out in pain that is how severe the pain was. And I could do nothing. So, yes…there are times when even I start to sing a different tune…and this was one of them.
The doctor had an ‘i-v’ hooked up to me and they began to feed me muscle relaxers and pain killers to cause the pain to subside. And while laying there down there in a stall in the emergency room one of our church’s prayer warriors came in. It was Sister Capers…this blog is filled with names today. But she too has since passed…and I am sure she would not mind me calling her name as I celebrate her. (though I doubt that calling any of the names in the related blogs would have bother any of my friends…but I just prefer not to)
Sister Capers had a long badge around her neck and said that the hospital allowed her full access to walk around to talk and pray for people. She touched me and began to pray for me. But it was the sight of seeing her…a friend come into that emergency room and stepped into my curtained off area that meant so much to me. It was something I had not expected at all.
The pain killers and muscle relaxers began to work too…and after a few hours they released me giving me a couple of prescriptions…which I did go and get filled immediately. And this time I took some of that medication…a couple of times in fact. But I found it to be exceedingly strong. And after taking it…yes, it helped the pain in my back…but I was left feeling sick to my stomach…in fact my stomach would be cramping.
So, I stop taking the medicatjon. Some medication today will correct one problem…but leave with something else to deal with. If that be the case…you should seriously weigh your options.
What good would it have been for me to relieve by back pain (a temporary condition)…only to have burned a hole through my stomach?
Finally, the pain left…or rather I guess I should say….my disc slipped back into place. But without having been at mother’s house I probably would not have gone to the hospital…nor would have known exactly what my problem was…and Sister Capers would not have been able to pay me a surprise visit and then pray for me. I am happy that I elected to stay the night in New York.
So, you see in this blog that I have some friends who are going through some trying life circumstances themselves…yet because of their walk and faith in the Lord…they are bigger than what they are going through. They have managed to turn what many would say should have been their tears into smiles. And in the process they have not been too pre-occupied with their own health issues to not be able to reach out and comfort others in their time of need. I think that this is wonderful…and I thoroughly enjoyed talking with them as they shared their stories with me.
I do know some phenomenal people…they are special in every possible way.
I just could not let this day go by without sharing with you something about them.
After looking at these videos of the Whispers…I now regret having not gone through and done that ‘Headlights’ Concert which I had booked them for. But when the tickets didn’t start moving…and the venue called telling me that if I didn’t rush in there with the advance ticket money and bring in all the tickets that we had put out there in the various locations…that they were going to cancel the show. I felt was left with no choice.
So, as much as I didn’t want to make that call to L.A…I did. I actually dredded calling L.A to have a conversation about cancelling the show…2 days before it was to take place. But I did it. I called the Whisper’s manager and told him that I was forced to cancel the show. And this is what he said to me in response-
“What do you mean you are being forced to cancel the show? It’s your show…your money. They can’t force you to cancel your own show.”
And you know what he was right…it was my show. It was my money…not that large auditorium but my money that was on the line for that show. The venue hadn’t bought the radio time for the spots…or placed any newspaper ads announcing my concert. I was the one.
No, I was the only one invested in that concert…and I was the only one who stood to loose anything any kind of way it went. Because I was the one responsible for paying everybody…including the venue…though I had already paid them a portion of it…that was not going to come back to me even after the cancellation.
But it was too bad I called the Whispers last…I had already pulled all the tickets…cancelled the remainder of the radio ads and then had the radio stations to start announcing that-
“Tomorrow night’s concert featuring the Whisper’s Headlights Tour is cancelled.”
That is when I realized I had had a slave mentality. I had let that white man who booked the events at the auditorium dictate to me the lost of a very very large sum of money. Something which will never ever happen to me again. It was a life experience…and life experiences are made for us to learn from.
There are times when we can block our own success…by failing to believe in ourselves or what we are attempting to do. But if you start a thing…you should be big enough to see it through. Don’t try to second guess yourself. Either do it…or don’t do it. But do not kid yourself by starting something that you are afraid of seeing through.
Monday is President’s Day…so if you are one of those fortunate ones…I know when I worked in radio there no such thing as a holiday…particularly if you were at the low end of the totem pole. But if you by chance you are one of those who does have the day off enjoy it.
Isn’t it wonderful…we now get to really celebrate that day. I mean not that there were not other presidents who were great…but mostly they became great by being thrust into some difficult situations that forced them to make during their times some very hard decisions. But isn’t it interesting how being forced to make hard decisions can often work out for the good…when the right choices are made. And make you great…as opposed to being ‘just one of.’ Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Kennedy and Johnson may all be considered to be great Presidents because of the times and the decisions they were forced to make…and Washington simply because he was the first.
Abraham Lincoln did not have a great love for the freedom of slaves but he recognized the danger it caused to the union of all of the then 13 states of the United States of America coming together. Slavery was the thing which tore them apart…so it made sense that slavery was the thing that had to end in order for this country to be able to move forward in order to be able to tackle the other events and things that a growing America would come to face as a nation.
It’s Black History Month…and I certainly salute it and celebrate it. There are so many great people…inventors, doctors, lawyers, writers, news journalists, actors, orators, wise people, civic leaders, religious people, hard working desent black people who were purposely left out of the history books of this country. I think it is time to right that error as well.
The road was not easy but they carried the torches anyhow… knowing that one day a change was going to come.
Well, God bless…
7 comments February 15, 2009
At last they have reached an agreement on the stimulus bill which will hopefully create jobs and get this economy back up and running. Though I must admit to not being one of those who was hit by the problems going on with the economy…I must always say that I am concerned about others.
Many people did suffer and are suffering because the economy took a deep plunge under George W. Bush. I doubt whether gasoline prices will ever get back down to $.99…but it would be nice.
We take so much for granted until it is gone. We never knew just how good we had it until gas prices at the pump started getting over $3.00…and when they neared $4.00…and did hit $4.00 and over in some places…we suddenly realized the party was over.
Food prices went up…everything…you name it and it all went up…due to some lousy war in Iraq that nobody wanted in the first place but George Bush and his people. If the after-effect could have been seen before hand I doubt that little ol’ George would have stood a chance at getting that war started. Well…maybe I should take that back.
You do remember seeing those signs all actively displayed around the
Republican National Convention floor this past August? Many of those very people realized what the outcome was going to be…long before hand. In fact, they were hoping for it.and began buying like crazy whatever they could on the stock market. They care about nothing… but… prosperity …at any cost.
They went into the stock market and started buying up everything that had to do with heating, utility companies, insulating, home improving, coal mining, oil drilling, trucking, food…etc. Oh, they saw it coming…and they knew it would come big. So, what did they do…they pushed for the war.
They were going to go into Iraq and squander it…rob it…pillage it…destroy those museums and take every artifact, painting, golden vessel and piece of pottery they could find…and smuggle it out of that country.
Then they were going to set themselves up as the saviors and peacekeepers of the place…while all the while looting it and the American taxpayers too with bogus invoices…and double billing ploys…while thousands of American people innocent sons and daughters lost their lives fighting in a senseless war brought about by greed.
It did not make sense for the United States of America to arbitrarily begin a preempted strike on Iraq…when all the world was against it and most of the American people. Iraq had not done anything to us. Nor were we under threat by them.
For a man and his 2 sons. Two ton bombs were unleashed upon those people, their homes, their businesses, their infrastructure, their schools etc…night after night upon building after building.
That could not have been about Saddam Hussein and his 2 boys. It was greater than them…it had to be. The expense and tally was too great to just desire to depose a tyrant and his sons.
Could it have all been for profit?
As Barack Obama came into office as President of the United States…72 hours later Blackwater pulled out of Iraq…and the others are following. And a country is being left in devastation.
I have heard somewhere about how ‘leaving something in a better state than when you found it.’
The state of the Iraqi people has changed…but many would argue whether or not it is a better state than when George Bush and his boys went into it.
So, yes…I am happy that the Senate has finally stopped hemming and hawing. Everybody is trying to make some points…it is so…so…like politicians. The Republicans held it up…so the Democrats couldn’t get the credit…when they knew all the time that they were going to have to pass the stimulus package or else face the music again come another election period.
You would think those dog gone Republicans would learn.
They can stop the band…but they can’t stop the music.
Hooray, for the passage of Obama’s stimulus package. Now, maybe some of these companies will not have to continue to lay people off or fire them. Jobs are very much needed…they help to pay the bills. And they are good when you want to go somewhere…you’ll have money to do it with.
Well, First Lady Michelle Obama will grace the cover of Vogue magazine next month (March)…making her only the 2nd First Lady to do so.
I have been trying to find a picture somewhere on the internet…but alas…to no avail.
I has to be out on newsstands by now…not to mention out in the mailboxes of thousands who subscribe.
February is just one of those months…I suppose that much of it has to do with the passing of my mother during the first of this month some years ago…as to why I tend to be quiet and rarely have much to say. I had been wondering why I had so much to do…and seemed to not want to do any of it. I had forgotten that it was February.
Even with these blogs by this time during a regular month I would have done at least 4 to 5 of them already…but this is only my second since the month has begun. Oh, I am not as bad as I used to be…there was a time not so long ago either that every month and every day was just like the day she had passed. Even my being able to form and shape the word ‘passed’…in my mouth or mind in connection to my mother is something new for me. I could never put the 2 words together…‘she passed’ for years upon years.
I never wanted to accept that she was…was…was gone.
I am who I am because I was given the very best of everything by God. I had the best mother…and the best father.
My parents never discussed with me the fact that I was gay. There was never a mention of it…though they knew. I had bought most of my girlfriends by the house…so, they had met some of them. But they never discussed anything about gayness or gay people with me. They never called anyone names…or talked negatively about anything.
When I called home from Chicago…to tell my mother that I was pregnant. Yes…gay me…pregnant. It is a rather long story…but in short it happened because I became depressed over loosing a lover. I began thinking that maybe the life (gay life) was not for me. So, I decided I would try the other side. And the one time I did…BAM. I was pregnant.
Being gay I was very naive about straight life. I would have never have thought about protection or anything like that…because… Well, because I had never had a boyfriend…and had never dated in my life until I got into gay life…which was sometime during the age of 25. And I had my son when I was 28.
I must say that I am a strong advocate for ‘pro-choice.’ Without choice I may have chosen differently. I did think about abortion…even called the abortion hotline. But when that lady started talking about ‘full anesthesia’ or ‘partial anesthesia.’ And I thought if it was going to hurt either way…then I might as well have the baby.
So, much for my analytical process at that time. But I thank God…I made the right choice. I could not image life without my son…who is the best thing that ever happened to me. And he is definitely a far better person than his mother…honestly.
So, I called home and I tell my mother. I don’t even know what I said…or how I phrased it or whether I just came right out and said it. Nor can I remember what my mother said to me upon hearing that. I am sure that perhaps she may have believed that I might not ever have any children…as I was gay.
Nor can I remember how long it took me to pick up the phone to call my parents to tell them that I was pregnant. I had to have been months…because I knew that they would be disappointed.
But I remember what my father said upon my arrival home during my 7th month of pregnancy…after my mother had sent one of my sisters to Chicago to bring me home.
My father said-
“Now, you will never be alone.”
That was the extent of it.
“Now, you will never be alone.”
He was right. I am not alone. I am now the matriarch of our family…which continues to grow even in their absence. And they would proud.
But during the entire period of my mother’s lifetime…I had never shown much interest as an older child or an adult child in church or church matters. I rarely went…and was so happy when I finally moved out of my parent’s house…just so I wouldn’t have to continue going to church.
Today, the church is my whole focus. I can’t imagine what my mother would say. But I know she would smile and be happy. Because it is true…it is what you put into your children that matters. Yes, they may wander but somehow…what was pour into them when they were young will surface in their lives at some point.
It’s February…Black History Month…and as tears stream out of my eyes as I write this thinking about my mother. I am so thankful for those who walked before us…they poured something in…and today it has surfaced. Many years of insults and degradation. But today…the number one person in the world is a black man. I am so happy…that my nieces, my nephews…my
son…and us…we are all here to bare witness to this time in American History.
Pictured above is…the grave stone of Benjamin Banneker, Dr. Charles Drew and Dr. George Washington Carver. You can CLICK on the LINK right below to find out as to who they are, their accomplishments and those of other black people in American History.
It is February…
The weather has broken for a spell…and we are getting a break from the cold…the ice and the snow. The sun has been shining for the past 2 days so lots of snow has been melting. But today…was absolutely beautiful. It felt like spring. And the house has not been quite as cold. I look forward to spring…I actually love all the seasons. Winter…spring…summer…and fall…
Well, God bless…
CLICK LINK BELOVE to trailer to Michael Moore’s lastest film on the bank bailout.
Add a comment February 12, 2009
Last night I started thinking about something and it began to strike me as being funny. And yes, the funny ha-ha kind of funny. I thought –
“Wow, if I told my gay friends this they would fall over and die laughing.”
And they would.
So, then I tried to call one of them…one of my gay women friends but she wasn’t home.
So, then I thought to call another friend…and finally I called a cousin of mine who I knew would understand what it was that I had found to be so humorous.
I should preface this first by saying…I have never been funny. I couldn’t tell a joke if they gave me all of Oprah’s money to tell one.
This is what I felt was so humorous. As you may or may not know I am saved and have been so now for at least six or so years. But during this time…I have run into some very strange things in the church. Here in lays the joke…when I was in the club and hanging out I understood what it meant if I exchanged my phone number with someone. It was one of the main reasons we hung out.
Since having come out of gay life…I do not find it necessary for me to want to exchange my phone number with any woman and particularly any woman I don’t know. Don’t know her name…and do not share anything in common with…just somebody out of the clear blue sky. No.
And if you have ever been stalked…you too soon learn. No.
While in the school library computer lab a couple of days ago, this woman who has stopped to talk to me on a few occasions came and began a conversation with me again…near the end she asked me for my phone number so she could call me. Before I could think about what it was I was going to say…I blabbed out-
“No, I’m not giving you my number.”
To which the woman just grinned at me and asked me why not?
I had not meant to sound so…I don’t know what. But I thought I had been a bit harsh in my response so I soften a bit.
Then the woman offered me her number…grabbed up a piece of paper and wrote down her number and gave it to me…to which I told her I would not be calling her.
But I recanted…somewhat and said…
“But if you want here is my number.”
And she gave me a piece of paper to write it on. While I tore up her phone number and handed it back to her saying-
And with that the woman was gone.
I never thought anything of that incident until last night…and then I started laughing. I have all of my life been naive. It is something that all of my friends can clearly tell you about me. It had never dawn on me from the moment that woman started talking to me…I don’t even know how long ago…that she was trying to hit on me. It is funny but last night…while doing something…I can’t remember what…but that woman asking for my phone number came back to me. And I started laughing…it struck me humorous.
Once while in church, I was called into one of the church hallways by a very older church mother. I had no idea what she wanted to say to me. From the point I had joined this church I had been friendly towards this very older woman. I respect and have a great love for older women. I loved my own grand-mother very dearly. But the thing that this older called me into the hallway to discuss with me horrified me. I was shock…and …and… And…oh, I don’t know…insulted.
Yes, I was insulted…that some woman older than my mother and grand-mother could have possibly thought that I was interested in her. A woman who was very exceedingly old…with…with… Well, with false teeth…and…lots and lots of wrinkles…and… And…she was real old…and a church mother too?
It was absolutely appalling to me. Who would expect such a thing from an old church mother?
What could have been going on in her mind?
How could she have possibly have thought such a thing?
This was so far fetch…and yes…again…absolutely appalling to me. That when our conversation ended…where she had called me out into a hallway to talk to me… I went immediately to my friend, the one I wrote about in a blog earlier who passed, another church mother in this church with whom I had become very close to. She was a friend… a confidant… a counselor…and an ear to me and for me…and I told her. The blog that I wrote about her was back in August 2008…if you go back through the calendar to the right of this blog you can go right to it…if you would like to read it.
At any rate…I told mother about what the other older woman had just said to me. I had thought about telling it to the pastor. But mother said no. She counseled me to not tell anyone and she told me to stay away from that woman. There is something which can be said about wisdom…it is wise….and wise always. I did as mother told me…and have continued to do it even though that older woman seems to changed towards me somewhat…and though my friend has since passed.
In another blog I told you of another church woman…whom following the end of an evening service I offered her a ride home along with someone else. I have always offered people rides…I do it as this is how I have been trained…my mother taught us. When we were growing up before church service my mother had us up and out picking up people from the nursing homes and nearby towns to bring them to church. And at the end of the morning service those people would go home with us to have dinner and then return back to church for the evening service…after which my mother had us take them back to their nursing homes or homes in nearby towns. So, if I am driving and I know I am going to pass near somebody’s house and that they do not have a car…I offer a ride to them and to as many people who can fit into my car.
But as I told you in a prior blog about this woman…as I drove up to her apartment. And it was just me and her in the car…as she started to get out…suddenly this woman turned back to me and gave me this kiss that even when I was in gay life I never allowed anyone to kiss me that way. You know that all in the mouth…tongue…everything. No…it was horrible. I withdrew from her…and acted like I had not noticed…if you can believe that.
So, last night I thought of the woman who wanted to exchange phone numbers with me…I thought of the very old church mother…and I thought of that woman who after service I had driven home…and I started laughing. I thought-
“If my gay friends only knew this they would die laughing.”
Here it was I had gotten out of the life…meaning gay life. And this was happening to me.
So, I called my cousin because none of my gay friends were home to hear this story…and I…I felt that I just had to share it with someone who could…and would understand what I was talking about. So, I called my cousin. And yeah…she understood.
She enjoyed hearing it and began to share some things with me as well. And by the time I had laid down to go to sleep following my conversation with my cousin I had started to regret having called her at all.
She had taken too much pleasure in my little stories.
But here is one of the stories she shared with me.
She told me of a church she used to go to where there were a group of older women just like the old church mother I had told her about in my story. The only difference was…was that they had all become involved with a very good-looking young male who also went to their church. As time went on the young male died…and he died from AIDS. Thus the story broke about his involvement with some old church women in the church who were in their latter 70’s and 80’s.
Since Viagra…I understand that the nursing homes have gone crazy. But the church too?
Though women do not need viagra…or anything else.
If you have been really reading any of these blogs which I have written…then you would know I find all of this absolutely shocking…appalling really. It is unthinkable to me…that such older women would be behaving in such a way. And the other part about it is that they are so loose…that they don’t care who knows.
In hearing this, I said to my cousin-
“You know some people are just in church because their mother is or was in the church…or their father was in the church…or because they just grew up in the church and have nothing else to do. Some are in the church because they want to find a husband…some because they want to find a good wife…some because they view it as a great networking opportunity. So, they are just sitting in the church but they have nothing in them…they are just there.”
And I came to find out as we continued to talk that was also true of my cousin.
I had oftentimes admired her for how she could quote scripture and knew where stuff could be found in the Bible. But I found out last night that that was about it…she could quote it. Because she sure wasn’t living it.
Awhile back, she had told me of a guy in her church with whom she had a flirting relationship…but she kept saying-
“I just thank God for keeping me.”
This guy sent her pictures of himself…in the nude via their cell phones. That right there spoke volumes to me as to character of the guy.
So, last night since my cousin had not said anything about this guy for a while, I asked her about him.
Yes…the flirtation was over. She had done it…and that in of itself was not what was shocking or appalling to me…because I knew it was going to happen. She had told me how she had gone to Victoria Secret…well, need I say more?
She had all the while been preparing to do it. This mind you while she was thanking God for keeping her from doing it. Yet, she prepped herself to do it. So, yes…I knew she was going to do it…sooner of later she and that guy were going to end up in bed with each other. And they did…and evidently not with the results she had been hoping for either.
She is in her 40’s now…and she sometimes speaks about how she would like to get married.
It seems that very few people save themselves for marriage any more. And that is quite curious to me. I would think you would only want to give your husband the best. Not something used up and all ran through already.
Isn’t that suppose to be part of the beauty about marriage?
I guess I am just old fashion in my thinking.
But then my cousin went on and commenced to tell about her female supervisor for which she would love to go to bed with…and that is when I started regretting having called my cousin.
It is hard to believe that she is an active church member and is readily carrying on in such a way. But her state is not unusual only to her…there are many fallen pastors to go along with all those old church mothers who seem to not be too old to want to get enough of sex either.
It is disheartening to me…but it does not sway me. I intend to stand. I know that everyone may not know what that means…but there are many who do.
Talking about something that is also somewhat appalling. Blagojevich.
Well, he is rather hard to forget since the guy is popping up all over the place. If we thought he was insane for trying to get paid-off for selling off the Obama Senate seat of the State of Illinois. We know now for sure that he is.
He seems to be getting a charge out of his 15 minutes of fame that is what is really unbelievable to me. It just goes to show that some people have no shame. And Blagojevich is one of the biggest of them. What ah…ah…(I hate to say this)…but what a fool. And everybody is inviting him on their show…and he is loving every minute of it.
And yes… Why is it that people who know that they have issues which will probably be found out…such as having not paid their taxes.
Why do they accept positions when they know that this information is going to be sought after and checked?
Is it that they secretly hate the people who approach them and say-
“Hey, have I got a great job for you. And I believe you are the best person for it.”
Do they really hate these people so much to want to embarrass them for having asked you in the first place, Tom Daschle?
I don’t know who Ann Coulter is but clearly she either has issues or she lacks a large amount of understanding. I had heard this interview with her on the View before…but at last I get a chance to comment on it.
It is interesting to me to hear any white person be critical of a black person for celebrating their blackness…or being African-American… or being a non-white person in America or anywhere else in this world. Or celebrating the lives and legacies of other black folk.
After years of black folks trying become more like ‘them’ and less like us. I think it was great for Halle Barry to accept the Academy Award in remembrance of all the black women who had stared in movies and never received anything…not even a nod in their direction for their great work. And there were some truly highly fabulous and talented black women actors who had done some outstanding work…both on stage and screen..and now are little known for those efforts. While everybody knows Bette Davis and their other white counter-parts of the screen.
If Ann Coulter had grown up as a Halle Barry or a Barrack Obama…when people looked at them and didn’t see screen actor or president…but a little black girl or little black boy whom they didn’t want their little children associating with…much less playing with. Then maybe Ms. Coulter might have a clue as to why they celebrate their blackness…which has and has always been a prominent part of their everyday lives. (Also just DOUBLE CLICK on below screen to see and hear Halle make the best acceptance speech of the Academy of all times…and ignore the text that appears.)
Wow, having said all of that…and I am just realizing that it is “Black History Month.” February will never be the same.
Well, I had to shovel some more snow today. And I am not tired of it yet…though it was very cold out today. But it is winter…and we haven’t had a real winter in such a long time. This winter is making up for those past few years. And I just love…just wish I could lite a fire in our fireplace. But I rather be safe than sorry. For now I will just enjoy looking over at my parent’s fireplace and dream ‘fire.’ Smile…and enjoy.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card. Thank you.
Well, God bless…
Add a comment February 5, 2009