Posts tagged ‘sex ‘




TRANSGENDER ALLOWED IN THE BOY SCOUTS…

I’m sorry but I can definitely not agree.images

I understand how the world now feels that it must agree with every whim that comes rolling along, in order to not offend anyone.

But what about what is right?

Should we forsake everything that is right in order to appease everything in this world?

de6b9562326c355cbc4d4cdf32897946I think not.  And I also believe it puts this world … though it has already been… on the road to destruction long ago… but it is just edging closer and closer to it.

It appears to me that we at this moment in history …we are creating our own pitfalls and devastation.

You cannot run with everything and believe you will finish the race boyscouts1successfully.   Somewhere along the line something falls… or everything begins to fall out of your arms.  This means you loose something.

We are loosing many things these days… and it mostly boils down to primarily loosing our tumblr_mrfv7mw4sf1r6g51bo1_250way as people… as a civilization …as people who live in a ‘real world.’  Not a make-believe world… anything we want to be… or anything we want it to be world.   But a REAL WORLD… with REAL WORLD ORDER… standards… qualifications… variety… and variances created by God.  Not by us.

God created this world order.   And He created it as He would have it to be.

Can man upset world balance?

Yes, man can.spark-27-cover-scouts-190

When we go tinkering with things which we should not be tinkering with problems are sure to arise.  And they have.

This whole cross dressing and transgender thing is going to a18b1ed67d9eca4231081240480f6e9ddestroy this planet.  And this thing is booming.

There is a problem which arises when we start picking and choosing what gender we decide we should be.   Or maybe what gender we decide we are going to raise our children as being… like saying you wanted a boy but got a girl.

So, you arbitrarily decide you are call your girl Sam and dress her only in clothes of boys… and have her live her life as Sam.  And never let her in on the fact that she is a girl… but tell and teach her as if she is boy.

So, Sally grows up believing that she is Sam.   Now, this is hypothetical.   I just going somewhere with this scenario.3141799_img_3870

Now, Sally did not realize until some time in school that she … or rather he (Sam) was different from all the other boys.   She noticed that perhaps she looked more like a girl.   Then she noticed that she had started to develop breasts.  When she was in the boy’s bathroom she noticed that she was missing something that all the other boys seem to have when they peed.

844203581-07-gay-marriage-lesbian-couple-heads-together-embrace-1024x682But you raised Sally believing that she was Sam.

You thought that you were God.   That you could create whatever you wanted your child to be.  When God gave you the child He had deemed for you… a girl… not a boy.

Now, Sam is having problems at school.   He is disassociating from all the other kids.   He feels that he does not fit in.   He feels different.

Most of us grew up feeling different.  Many of us grew up feeling like we didn’t fit in.  These are natural emotions for kids to go through… except for those who happen be popular and always seem to be in the midst of plenty of people who rush to be with them.206138_little_tree.jpg

But you weren’t 1 of them.   When you look into the mirror you see somebody else.  You feel like if you could be somebody else… that then you would be happy.   Maybe you wish you were your sister or brother or a different sex.   Or your mom or dad.   And you begin to become that someone else.

Kids are always pretending… and playing make believe.  But when does 9fe6c512bceb14c9164369af9cdb1b1fthis become something else for some kids or teens… or even adults?

It becomes something else as long as you harbor or meditate of being that different person… that you begin to fantasize yourself to be.  And after a while you meet up with someone… because it only takes 1 mixed up and highly confused person to send you on a trip you may never come back from… a trip to convert yourself into a fantasy you.

It is all make believe.   Because we are who we are… and there is no changing it no matter how many pills are taken.   How deep the voice may get… or how 65f926a6c999989ddeb7e2a7d827ce26much facial hairs you get… or breasts you develop.   You really can’t change you.

Oh, outwardly yes.  But inwardly… no.   And that inside person who really determines who you truly are.   And it goes beyond your DNA… and THAT you definitely cannot change.

So, you change your name, your driver’s license, your city or town… and the pretense really begins.  Because you are looking for a fresh start as this ‘new you.’  

Though you may be able to deceive many people.   The issue is… how long can you keep up the pretense.  Because everyday you step out the door pretending to be who you were not beyonceborn to be is really just a pretense… and you will never ever be able to get away from that.

What I find interesting is how in the world do people who go through all this really believe that becoming …or attempting to become another gender means that they are not gay?cb1ce85a8eef404fe468d2fc11b35704

Do they not want to engage in sexual activity with someone of the sex they are pretending to no longer be?

Then how can this not be gay behavior?

Oh, because you now associate yourself as the opposite sex… and call yourself ‘he’ rather than ‘she’… you believe that you automatically became the ‘he’ or ‘she’ you wanted to be?

oitnb_2Do not deceive yourself.   It is all a charade.   And the only 1 who got fooled was you.

Men who want men… are not going to go for a man who becomes a woman.   Because if they wanted a woman they could get a ‘real’ woman… not some one pretending to be 1.

Women who love women… might like a dyke looking woman… many like that … but not all.   But if a woman wanted a man, do you not believe she could find herself a ‘real’ man… and not someone playing and eating pills to be 1?

And therein lays the problem for these people who get these sex changes.   They discover Girl Scouts age 11 at Parktacular Parade. St Louis Park Minnesota USAthat that fantastic change that they were hoping for … that was going to make them happy ever after because they were now who and what they felt they had truly been born to be… wasn’t the happy every after that they hoped it would be.

Come on wake up.

So, no I’m not in agreement to the Boys Scouts of America allowing transgender girls into 000ca40eed1edfcbf5ac96da302ebe88the scouts.   Because primarily… because these girls are still girls.   Down beneath they still have their vagina.

So, what happens if out on the trail a couple of over zealous boys article-2651813-1e90df9d00000578-808_306x423decide to teach her a thing or 2?

As quietly as it is kept in the military this is quite an issue.   Female women in the military get raped… and this happens in large numbers.   Female girls on campuses get raped… and this too happens in large numbers… as much as most campuses try to squash it from getting out.

It is a reality.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/30/us/boy-scouts-transgender-membership/?iid=ob_homepage_deskrecommended_pool

And why would any girls really want to put herself through watching a bunch of boys with 372_imgranging hormones …taking a leak.

And no,  I am not into transgender bathrooms either.CbCO1EnW4AA_TuR

And I do not believe I have to go along in order to get along.

I will not forsake my core principles in order to make other people happy.  I just cannot do boy-scoutsit.

Do you really want me to become a liar by calling him ‘she’ when I know that he is not
a ‘she.’1448290-368-k642793
I can’t go to hell trying to play other people’s games.  I am sorry… and I mean you no
harm.   But just do not ask me to play.

And I do not believe in being politically right… when politically right goes against my religious right to not lie… or condone lying or stealing… or deceiving… or fornicating… or adultery … and you know the rest.   I just cannot.

imagesSo, don’t ask me.   Because I have enough things that I may have to answer for of my own without me playing your game …adding to my list…

Now that I have addressed my thoughts on this subject please enjoy the rest of your week.  And I know that I’ll get a few responses on topic-transgenderchildrenyouth-share1200this… but that’s is okay.

We are not all going to agree.   But 1 thing is for sure we trying to agree on too many things… when most people who play like they agree really do not.   So, at least I am home-resizednest.    And I am not a hater… but a firm believer that the truth is the truth… and hopefully because I spoke truth somebody will be set free…

And anyone… so-called parent who does this thing purposely to their boy-scout-silhouette-clipartchild or children really should be arrest for child abuse.  Because they putting their child into the pit of hell… and creating for them a life that cannot lead them to any form of happiness by playing something that they are Mila Jam "Whistle" Session © Mark Fisher NYC1-8226.jpgnot.

girl scout cookiesDo not ruin the life of your child by making them a transgender child.   One thing when a person who is old enough to decide certain things for themselves.   And quite another when crazy parents do it to their children.

Well, God bless… I’m out. Thanks for reading my blogs. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2017

 

 

 

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Add a comment January 31, 2017

KIM BURRELL IN AN UPROAR….

I saw the video that Kim says someone took of her during a service some night at her gettyimages-628757570-527x350
church, when Kim Burrell goes off the chain proclaiming her dislike of gay people… with particular reference to those in the church.

I also saw the video that Kim made backing or attempting to back away from much of what she said in that video, of her ranting about gay people.  My thing in watching this video was this.

kim-2‘Kim if you really feel about gay people as you said while standing in the pulpit.  Then why back down from it… if you feel that what you had said was right?’

Cause you see if I say something that I think is right… then I am not going to back down dd589f50e054ab03eadb2e5fa1152a6afrom it.  Oh, I can change my mind… yes, regarding my thinking.   But if I feel that I am correct in my thinking then I am not going back away from what I believe.  And I don’t care who may not like it.  Unless… again… if I think about it and later begin to regret what I said… or how I said it.   Or I might even discover that I was wrong… because that does happen too.   And has happened to me.

I mean I would be lying if I said I never regretted saying something.   It happens all the time to many of us.  We spoke too fast.   Or mis-spoke…

But the way Kim was going on and on in that pulpit… I would have to say Odell Beckham JR.that she was really versing her sentiments quite definitely.  And if what I heard in another video was correct… in that what that person said about her husband, whom Kim is now either divorced from or separated from for some years now… was that he was gay.

I would say that might cause a woman to go on and on about hating gays.  That woman who used to sell orange juice years ago… I forget her name.   She had 0e47a041283dda2741139b0310b1ee63been an ex-Miss America when she came out strongly against gay people back in the latter 70’s or 80’s… and boy did they slam her.   She lost all orange_juice_recipes_copyright_2012kind of contracts behind that… and the orange juice industry was quick to get rid of her.  But what a price that industry paid in revenue losses when gay people boycotted orange juice… and boycott it they did.   And unknownthey won.

With regards to Kim Burrell… whom I often have found to be sharp with her tongue… I find it hard to believe that she did not think about her wardrobe person, or  her make-up person, or her hair stylist or everybody else who may possibly be on sexykim11her team, when she is preparing to get up to perform… because most of them are gay.   But I am sure that hit home shortly after she realized that that video got out… had been uploaded on youtube, and the calls started coming in to her.

This is America and, of course, Kim Burrell like everybody else in eddielong
America has a right to an opinion on whatever she wants to have an opinion on… whether I may or may not agree with her on it.

But where I thought Kim Burrell went too far …was for her to be standing in the pulpit and talking about certain things… like men having ‘p___nis’ in their mouths.   Or women with their breasts shaking in front of another woman.  It was a bit too much.636191327948984978-ap-pharrell-performs-on-nbc-s-today-show-87282656

Kim went overboard and that is what more than anything I believed killed her… and took away from anything that she was trying to say.    She was not preaching… nor was she teaching.    But Kim was spouting out vicious remarks of feelings, that maybe she had been harboring for windycitywardrobe-black-gay-weddingsome time and just felt it was okay… for some reason or other… to release those sentiments into the atmosphere at that time… in that church service.

I am a firm believer that the pulpit is not for all types of conversations.  Nor is it a place for where we should be standing in it believing that it is okay to just say whatever comes into our narrow minds.  The sanctuary and …certainly the pulpit is ‘holy.’    It is holy ground and it is not meant to be a place where we preach hate or condemnation.

michael-robert-crawford-shorty-gay-black-wedding-atlanta-grooms-21Who are we to condemn people as though we too were not once lost in sin?

This is the problem I have with many people in the church.  They act as though they were never once sinners.

And I really get tired of hearing those people who say, ‘I’ve been alg-preschool-graduates-jpgsaved since I was 3.’

atelAre you really trying to tell me that since you were a child… and supposedly became saved that you never once sinned?kimburrell

I will bet that you sinned more than once.   And probably did things I never thought to do.

So, the devil is a liar.   And those people need to stop telling that ‘I’ve been saved since’ lie.

imagesWhy do people want to pretend that they are so holy and righteous …when they are filled with such ‘high looks,’   bigotry and animosity against not just gay people… though gay people always seem to be at the top of everyone’s list… but against everybody but fornicators… adulterers… liars etc….etc…etc..  Because THAT list certainly goes further than just being gay.

Some of these same people voted Donald Trump into office and saw no sin in him.   I would _91018703_5abbae28-ace0-4db7-ae31-aa94fc8a9328c9c80615a93a102726dd94659af2d744not have believed that either… had I not heard and seen them at our national convocation in St. Louis.   It was quite disturbing to me.  And a couple of them… bishops even… I had to set straight.

302388829Speaking of bishops.  Some of these very people are ‘the long990244corrupters.’   Stealing away the lives of many of these young boys, by feasting on them sexually …while proclaiming something else in the pulpit and making jokes about ‘limp wrist.’

This thing is sad.   And there are a bunch of hypocrites in the church… in the black church and white church… and everything in between.

Yeah, they can proclaim they hate them… but they lead the choir… play the instruments… Free Gospel Sundays3229d22415d1c972a458081da606dc66sing the sermonic solo.

So, stop playing with yourself… and trying to preach hate,  when their is a cleansing that needs to take place.   And it is in the hearts of each and every one of us because we have been commanded to love… not condemn or chastise folk because we act like we can’t stomach their sin.

It is not for you to stomach.   God who is the creator and is also the finisher.   And you don’t know who he is going to clean up and place over you.

He can turn everybody around.  Did He not turn you around?1120-andrew-caldwell-youtube-4

Oh, I forgot.   He is still working on you, Kim and everyone else who thinks like her.

BRANDON-PORTER-Andrew-Caldwell-gay-no-more-controversy600I was at the convocation 2 years ago when that guy came out and started proclaiming, ‘I
ain’t gay no more.’

That whole service was like being in the midst of a comedy show.   That guy from Orlando Be The Man Conference 2009who was suppose to preach… was beside himself …just like Kim.   And practically the whole area was eating it up… they were rolling over in laugher of this guys homophobic tyrants.

It was so good to them that the video department sold out of that dvd that night… and could not keep up  with the demand for it.  This I know not because I tried to buy it… but because the next day while waiting on Essence Music Festival, New Orleans, America - 06 Jul 2014my ride back to my hotel a bunch of people were still laughing over that mockery of a church service.  I sat through it, yes… but it was all I could do not to get up and walk out on that guy that night.  And I would have had I thought my courtesy driver was outside writing-love-beach-sand2to take me back to my hotel.

We should stop all this ‘gay mess.’   It is not the only sin… need you think of what you are kim-burrell-weight-loss-before-and-afterdoing that God may be angry at.  Because at the end of the day… that is what really should concern you more than anything else.  Because when you shut your eyes… it won’t be that gay man in the choir or up the street whom you will have answer for.   But your behavior towards them will black-church-clip-art-church-house-black-mdsurely be an issue before God.

I think we all need to read the Bible more.   Because somewhere along the line you are all missing something when you attack anyone who is lost in sin.

And I think that any pastor or anyone who calls him or her self a pastor …or whatever who
invites someone to come and preach at their church and says, ‘You can come to preach but don’t mess with my sissies.’  

I think that person needs to remove themselves or the church remove him or her… because they are users.   But not Godly.   They rather see people not hear the truth… and I am not talking about a bunch of harsh and hard words of condemnation… but ‘the truth’ as to what the Bible says because they desire that everybody in their church or under them know what God desires in order for us to sincerely get into heaven…african-american-gospel-beighu-clipart

Let us not chase people out of the church.  But let us work on trying to allow God to do His perfect work in them.   The Bible says, ‘faith comes through hearing the word of God.’   They must be allow in the church… so that they do not go to ‘gay churches’ and sit up in there believing that everything is imagesalright… and while they play church that they can make into heaven.

Let us not be that mean …or selfish.    Thank God the doors of the church were open for us… or we too would still be out there doing whatever it was that we used to do.   And many of you still do… if the truth be told….

my picture cropedWell, God bless…     Well, I finally got my chance to say what has been on my mind concerning this subject.   I just hope that people will come to love and respect one another and all of our differences.   I hate sin and it hurts for me to see people languishing in it.  I have many gay friends … and even some family members whom I know will be lost if they fail to change.   But I pray that God call them out as He was so kind and gracious enough to do me.   And that they have an ear to hear… and God gives them a desire to come out… and stay out.

Well, God bless… I’m out. Thanks for reading my blogs. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016

 

 

 

 

Add a comment January 9, 2017

BISHOP EDDIE LONG… WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

eddie-longWell, by now I take it that you know I must have seen the video or come across something which has alerted me considering this new controversy circling around Bishop Eddie Long.

Yes, as a matter of fact a few weeks ago I came across the YouTube sexed-dielongvideo posted by the Bishop… or someone telling everyone that he was alright, but had started this new health kick or some kind of diet.  But honestly to tell you the truth as I watched him… and paid great attention to his body language and facial expressions…

Well, to tell you the truth he looks like a man who has either consumed himself with alcohol or become an addict.

bishop-eddie-long-pictures0I know…. I know you probably don’t want to hear this.  Some of you really do still believe and trust in the Bishop.   But he is a man who is greatly troubled.  And the demons which possess him do not seem to have finished with him yet.

I hate to see people brought down.   Or shamed before everyone.  But eddie-long-all-white-three-wise-menwhen I look at those boys whom he groomed into homosexuality… and think about how he claimed he was ‘David facing Goliath’ when it came to his legal battles with them over their abuse.   I feel sorry…  for them all… all the way around.  Really.

I clearly understand how a demonic spirit can enter into your body and attack you… bringing you into submission IF YOU ARE NOT bishop-eddie-long-sittingFULLY EQUIPPED to fend off such attacks through the Holy Spirit.

Unless you are FULLY EQUIPPED with the Spirit of the Lord… the devil will steal your bishopeddielongmind.  And don’t sit there and think that he won’t do it… nor that it can’t happen to you.  Because it can.  Even to me.   Yes, it can… if I were not equipped and believed fully in God.  And that God is able to keep me through all things… if I desire to be kept.

There is this thing that we must all understand… and that is ‘in order to stand and fight off the devil you better be fully prepared for the battle.’  We are not told as Christians that we must have on ‘the WHOLE ARMOUR OF GOD’ for no reason.   Without God’s amour… His protection…  eddielongclothwe too can become easily overtaken by demonic spirits.  And when these spirits get a hold of you… when they enter into your body… and get into your spirit… they are not easily shaken.

We all need the power of God truly working within us in order to bring us out of such attacks.  But… and it is a big BUT.  But if we become captivated by the lure of the sin that is trying to entangle us then we loose.   You cannot fall prey to such eddielongattacks, and the attraction to the evil doing that you begin to operate within it… for you will get lost in it.   As we see how that thing took a hold of Bishop Long.   One day out marching against homosexuals… while entering those spirits within his own flesh.  And it over took him.

For the most part Bishop Eddie Long has long been recognized as a prosperity preacher.  I will be 1 of the first to tell you… and not me alone… that God truly endowed him with the word.   But he went astray… and got into all that prosperity mess.

fifth-accuser-of-eddie-longOnce Long got into the prosperity teachings and doings… he was lost.  He got turned around and lost his focus.   His god became mammon… riches.   You cannot serve both God and the lure of riches. You will either love the 1 and hate the other.jamal-parris-e1309522027847

eddie-long-portrait-suitTherefore, the lust of money then made him more susceptible to any other spirit that would attach itself to him.  Hence, the spirit of homosexuality came calling upon him.

Thus, Long began to open up facilities to house boys from which a chosen few were picked televangelist-eddie-long-to-take-time-off-8jltjdc-x-largefor his sexual grooming… to fill his desire to interact with them on a less than religious manner…  as a perpetrator… a sexual deviant.  A grown man seeking to delight himself sexual among young boys.

So, these young boys came into his range where he had access to them… could ‘father’ them into a seemingly caring relationship where what he was doing appeared to them … and I guess all who were near as a harmless religious relationship among him and them… the boys.    As Long vlcsnap-46681did not take sexual advantage of them physically… per what the boys/now grown young men claimed in their law suits against him.  But he did do touchy and feelly things… things that excited and brought about certain urges… which Scripture has called ‘unnatural.’   Creating longings and desires within the young boys…  which when you see them you can clearly see the damage that was done.   They were groomed like cattle …or a horse for a certain kind of thing… a certain kind of behavior.    And that ‘thing’ … in my opinion when I look at their videos and pictures of those young boys turned to young men… that ‘thing’ stole their manhood.

Now, fast forward to Eddie Long  today after having paid out some $9 million plus to these young men whom he had doctored up and touched… and groomed in his special way to be his select stable… to feel whatever demonic fantasy that was going on in his head.

Today it appears that the bishop-eddie-longdemons have chased him down.  Long looks broken… as broken as a drunk on the street (I hate using such terminology as it is not how I view people or ever speak of them… but for the purpose of this blog and the message I’m trying to convey, it is the only way I can get you to really see what I’m talking about.  So, please forgive my terminology when speaking or classifying anyone here)

bishopeddielongYes, Bishop appears a broken man in this video below.  And unlike zachery-tims-funeral-for-orlando-pastorPastor Zachary Timms… I do see where possible drugs or alcohol may be playing a factor in his life.

That which loosing all that money and some of his congregation could not do… I now believe his conscience is making up for it… sadly.   Such a gifted man at 1 time in the Lord.  And look how he let the devil use him… and now I believe he is truly paying for it mentally and physically… and it is ironic.

The irony is how much he worked to build up his body… and what was bishop-eddie-longan apparent love of his physique.   To now be dwindled down to almost nothing… half a man.   A tormented man it seems.

I pray he find a way back to the Lord.   As we serve a God who is long suffering and forgiving.   But to have taken his position as a spiritual leader and have turned it into an artful predator, using the house of the Lord as his playground… might be something that me-resizedGod will not forgive… as He did not forgive Eli when it came to his sons.

I just read that Bishop Long is now on a medical sabbatical after revealing to his church that he is facing some health challenges.  Repentance is the only cure.  A true and real pouring out of his heart

UPDATE:  Yesterday morning… Sunday, January 15, 2017…  it was reported that Bishop Long passed.   I will not comment or speculate as to my thoughts further on this matter.  It is sad all the way around …for all who were effected and involved.

I pray peace and resolution to the minds and souls of the young then boys drawn into this scandal.  And that God call them out that they may be saved from the perverse thing and things which have and are happening to them.  Because this now is their choice to chose to live or die in that mess.

Well, God bless… and thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Add a comment September 10, 2016

TOMMY DEBARGE…A VOICE OF PAIN

Wow, I don’t even know what happened here.  I lost my whole post all most.600x600

I will try to rewrite it again but don’t know if it will be as good as the first.  But here goes.

I came across this posting on a site called, MOTHER’S PEARLS.  And since the day I initially posted my blog on the DeBarge 8y5pugfamily and their deep family secret which tormented them for years, that post hands down has been my most popular.

That being so I thought that many of you would also like to read what was said by Tommy DeBarge, who for years as growing up had been molested by his older brother, Bobby.debarge

It cannot be a secret how much pain must go through 1 when they are physically violated.  But that pain and hurt must be much deeper when it does not come from the man or woman down the street… but is within your own home… among those who are suppose to love and care for you… and protect you.

The DeBarge children had … I guess all of them… had be imagessexually abused by their father… both the girls and boys.

The damage that is done to children who experience sexual abuse cannot be overstated.  I know this first hand having also been a victim of it, though it was not within the confines of my family.jamesrandybunny

I know some women who once worked at a facility that housed children sexual offenders.  Yes, I said, CHILDREN SEXUAL OFFENDERS.  I asked 1 day what were the ages of the children in their facility and I was told, “Well, the youngest is 3.”

That has always stayed with.  I cannot image what it is like to be locked away from people for the rest of your life because someone began sexually abusing as an infant or toddler and at the age of 3 they have to lock you away.

rdebargesrThe world indeed is a very cruel place… very cruel.  And has gotten crueler with all of this child sex trafficking and everything else like it that goes on today.7fa7e89e9661de04176c3c8485942b98

For that kind of torment to be going on in your own home is something which a very beautiful family of children have had to fight to regain and sustain some type of sanity from the horrors they had to endure not only at the hands of their own father… but as their own b31053c60c49d4d9626f908c76042975siblings began to prey upon them.

As a note here, Bobby the oldest of the DeBarge children died many years ago from AIDS.  9477989_109738431579His predator… his father who had sexually abused … I guess all of his children…   Their father died only several years ago… and am sure if he had a conscience he died a very tormented man.

This is from Mother’s Pearls:   http://www.pearlswindow.com/2013/06/tommy-debarge-shares-molestation-by.html

According to Tommy Debarge of the Debarge Family

 

Anything and everything was exposed and deemed acceptable in Hollywood.  A homosexual lifestyle didn’t have to be kept secret there as it did back in Michigan.

Men were attracted to men and openly spoke their minds about it, which offended me because of my past with Bobby.  I felt as if something queer had been permanently affixed to me because of the horrible things he did to me.

 

I blamed him for the unwanted attention I was getting from men.
I had never confronted Bobby about what he’d done to me.  Instead, I’d gotten high or occupied myself with women in order to not have to deal with it.  I had to be honest with myself.  The whole man with a man thing had me on edge.  I did learn through my industry peers, however that it was necessary to be appealing to both genders in order to sell lots of records.  Still, it bothered me a great deal.

 

At this point, Bobby was dating women.  There was a brief period of time when I actually thought Bobby might be straight.  However, as he became more sure of himself as an artist and comfortable in his surroundings, the more he openly expressed his desire for men.

 

I watched as homosexuality manifested itself in Bobby’s life.  He had a stronger attraction towards men than women.  He had a male friend, Tony, whom he had met in California, and whom accompanied him everywhere.

 

After a while, Bobby removed all restraints from his sexual desires.  He didn’t care if his private life was private or exposed.  He was staying at a Hollywood Hotel; Tony moved in.

 

I was with Bobby in his hotel room one evening when he pinned Tony against the wall and kissed him like he was kissing a woman.  His tongue was in Tony’s mouth and he embraced him.  They kissed and caressed each other without shame.

Later, Bobby revealed himself to be bisexual, meaning that he participated in sex with both men and women.  He stated that a man’s love is what he was searching for because women were only useful for sexual pleasure and couldn’t be trusted.  He used neglect and abuse from the past as an excuse for his lifestyle.

 

Since we were on the topic, it was a good time to ask him about what he had done to me as a child.  He said he regretted what he had done to me back then, explaining that he was just a boy.  I waited to hear, “I’m sorry,” but he didn’t apologize for any of it.

Add a comment March 8, 2016

BILL COSBY… THE SHAME OF IT ALL….

bill-cosby-768I really don’t know where to begin with this commentary of the sorrowful facts of this story.  Though I must say that from the beginning I did not at 1 point think of those who said what they did about what had happened to them was not or might not have been true.  My thoughts on this subject from the on-set when the women last year started coming forward to say that they had been drugged and raped by Bill Cosby… was simply this… there were just too manybill-cosby-accusers-620x259-620x259 of them saying the same exact thing for it to have not been true.

If you remember it was like everyday you woke up another woman was saying she too had been drugged and raped by Bill Cosby… and it just did not stop… woman after woman.

They say to date about 47 women, since this unbelievable story started to unfold last year, have come forward to claim that Bill Cosby sexually took criminal advantage of them by drugging and then having sexual intercourse with them.BC1

bill-cosby-2-768Throughout all those claims of rape Bill Cosby steadily maintained that all those women had been lying.  However, most recently it has come to light that in 2005 a woman sued Bill Cosby for theAA9jZlE exact same thing these women, who most recently have come forward to claim against Bill Cosby… and in that case which was settled …Bill Cosby in a written deposition did acknowledge that he had indeed purchased drugs for the purpose of giving them to women in order to have sex with them.

Thus, Bill Cosby’s own statement which had been sealed by that court in 2005 validates the new found claims of all these 150210-news-bill-cosbywomen who most recently since last year have all spoken up and out against Bill Cosby, and this all appears to have been a very deep and highly dark secret past of deviant sexual behavior… serial rape on the part of Bill Cosby.

cosbyshow-300x225Over the social networks the disputes were strong and wide with regard to those who defended the good name and reputation of their ‘favorite tv dad’ verses those who felt strong that the 47 or so women who began to come out against Bill Cosby last year were indeed telling the truth.

There were those who said flatly that it could not be true.Bill-Cosby-Rape-Allegations-Janice-Dickison

Then those who claimed that all those women were after was Bill Cosby’s money with all their lies.

Then compossssssss23455-1-2048x1152-20141122-032012-544those who felt that if it were true why had those women waited so long… until now to come out to say anything8560068_f496 about it.  So, therefore, it was not true.

_47532933_-46Then there were those who said they …those women… never should have come out… and should have just let laying dogs lay, and not ruin Bill Cosby’s legacy.

I for 1 felt that it had to be true because I could see no viable cause for why so many women would all join in and say the same thing if it were a lie… and many women who had become successful in their bill_cosby_620x480_cemrfcosby-ejo-111514_b0d416ee4949aec9a3e30542d2933008own right in various industries and career paths.  It just didn’t make sense to me that they could ALL being telling a lie against Bill.

And now… today we know for sure that they all were not lying at all.  Bill Cosby had lived and had lead a very deceitful secret dark life under the cover of a fatherly and very philanthropic exterior image, which he so readily displayed to the whole world.  While in his deep dark closet he had hoards of women whom he had sexually abused by drugging them then raping them.

1969:  Promotional studio portrait of American actor and comedian Bill Cosby adjusting his bow tie, from his television series, 'The Bill Cosby Show'.  (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)Clearly, it is not the type of end or legacy which 1 would have thought to come and overtake Bill Cosby’s squeaky clean and example of a decent respectable man, who for years was 16-bill_-daughterthought of by millions as an ideal example of fatherhood.  Bill Cosby clearly was a modern day version of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  And 1 really has to wonder as to what drove Bill to continue drugging and raping so many women throughout what appears many years… and possibly some even bill-cosbyback in his days as a young man growing up in Philly.  Because I would believe that this kind of prolong abusive sexual behavior may not have just got started when Bill got into show business.

In this photo taken Nov. 6, 2014, entertainer Bill Cosby pauses during an interview about the upcoming exhibit, Conversations: African and African-American Artworks in Dialogue, at the Smithsonian's National Museum of African Art in Washington. The Smithsonian Institution is mounting a major showcase of African-American art and African art together in a new exhibit featuring the extensive art collection of Bill and Camille Cosby. More than 60 rarely seen African-American artworks from the Cosby collection will join 100 pieces of African art at the National Museum of African Art. The exhibit “Conversations: African and African American Artworks in Dialogue,” opens Sunday and will be on view through early 2016. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)Most of us would agree that today Bill Cosby is looking pretty bad.  Many days he has even appears to look just plain out of it.   Perhaps his conscious has caught up with him.

It isBill-Cosby-Rape-Allegations-Janice-Dickison amazing to me how such a man could have lived with himself after having perpetrated so many rape attacks 1 after another …and another and another and another.   A man who has at least 2 daughters and a wife himself to have such disregard and disrespect for a woman to rob her of something most valuable to her… by b613732e6b34f6e9bf292eaa09957633inducing drugs into her body and taking sexual advantage of her… is beyond my level of comprehension as to how he could have done such a thing at any time to any 1 and live with himself… and pretend to be so perfect a human being.  And then to set himself up as some type of moral purist for black consciousness… is aboundingly1402097993000-Bill-Cosby unthinkable… knowing what he knew concerning the women he took advantage of …as he knew that what he had so criminally perpetrated against so many women… and possible some under age young girls was so hypocritical and just plain not right.

The level of betrayal and deceit… and moral lack of consciousness is so very baffling to 1_123125_123054_2240596_2240597_100129_pol_edwardstn.jpg.CROP.original-originalme… and that it should be BILL COSBY who was the person who fooled and betrayed us all.   It is just unbelievable… and as unbelievable to me as when I heard about John Edwards… another johnedwardsman who portrayed himself as being squeaky clean and incapable of doing any wrong.  And wrong he did… not only as an adulterer but a liar to all of America, as well as, to his family and his wife who was dying of cancer.

58573John Edwards knowing he had just had a child out of edwards-580x350_102912awedlock secretly with a woman, who in my opinion couldn’t stand up to a brown paper bag.  She looked like…     Well, I hate to say it.   But she looked like trash …and trash she was.    And she roped him in …had his baby and then she hit the tabloids.

120514_john_edwards2_ap_605The man sacrificed it all for what?

Then the pain that it caused his wife… who was already suffering from her battle with cancer.

That man played us.  And I mean he played us…ScreenShot20141121at6.31.16AM

Well, he played me.  I had thought very highly of ole John Edwards until I heard him talk on those video tapes that that women had shot of him… when he started running around with her.  In those video tapes his language and everything behind the scenes was so different from what John had put forth to the public eye.  And this is exactly the same thing what we can say about Bill Cosby.

There were people almost ready to fight over Bill Cosby with the people who said that Bill must cosbyhave done what those women claimed that he had done to them.  Bill’s die hard believers were ready to go to blows… some made videos stating d453c5640bc4f18f2c4a96f3c0bbfac9their opinions and calling people names and insult for coming out against Bill Cosby.  And those people called those folk out if they had said anything that may have tarnished Bill’s reputation.rs_634x1024-140429120503-634.Bill-Cosby-jmd-042914_copy

Now, it appears that nobody really had to say anything to tarnish the reputation of Bill Cosby… because Bill Cosby had so adequately done that for himself… when he made the decision to first start drugging women and then rape them.

The likelihood of any of Bill’s victims being compensated financially for what he did to them appears to be most unlikely.  But public opinion many times can be far 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverworst than any money coming out of the pocket to a man like Bill Cosby… whom I think rather loved being held in the high regard that many people used to see him in.

me resized...

But that is gone now… and in many ways that being taken from him is a far worst price.

Well, God bless…. Well, it is 1 day from Friday and I hope all is well with you.

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2015


Add a comment July 9, 2015

WHO IS COMING UP WITH THESE LAWS… TRANSGENDER NATION…. THE NIGERIAN GIRLS and MORE…

It is hard to know where to begin with this blog since I have so many different things on uni-sex_bathroom_signmy mind.  But let me begin with this…

As I just came across it on a Facebook post… where the mayor in Houston had proposed to allow transgender people to legally use the bathroom facilities that they identify with.

http://www.click2houston.com/news/mayor-parker-plans-to-remove-controversial-aspect-of-equal-rights-ordinance/25952320

Needless to say… why write certain things into law?

woman-public-toilet-7348288They already do it.   So, such a thing is really kind of stupid.  But the other side of the coin is this …writing such a thing into law opens the door for many women to become victimized by men looking for new opportunities in ways to victimize women.  What I mean by this is this.

Most times women go into a bathroom… it is usually not full… not unless you are at a club or some large social setting.  A lot of times we are the only ones in bathrooms.  When we enter the ladies room we do not expect anyone stronger than us to overpower us and shove us into stalls to rape us… or to carry out any other type of crime that people perpetrate against women.  But such a city ordinance would open the door for such a thing to happen to women.  As just anybody could walk into any bathroom they wanted and not necessarily have in mind the intention of using the toilet.toilet

Not to mention women often allow their children to go into the ladies room… most of the time under their care.  But such an ordinance would put at risk both a mother and a child if a deranged person were watching them… and then followed them into a co-ed bathroom.  Whereas such a person entering into the ladies’ room would easily be spotted if the bathroom facilities were not co-ed.

In places where perpetrators look for unsuspecting victims …such as in movie theaters and amusement parks where there are always large number of children this type of policy would be very disastrous.

I know that campuses now have co-ed dorms and co-ed dorm rooms…  and “unisex,” coexisting-in-coed-dorms“gender-neutral”  “gender-inclusive” bathrooms etc.

But is this thing right?

I say, ‘No.’

And it is a resounding ‘no.’  

Perhaps I am a little bit too caution.  Or maybe you just think I am being super homophobic.  But it is not the homosexuals I am thinking about.  I’m thinking about the people who would take such an ordinance and use it to prey upon certain people…such as unsuspecting women and possible children, as many times children do go into bathrooms with their mothers.   And these people are not gay… they are rapists… child molesters… predators of every sort.

And believe me… I would rather fall on the side of a little per-caution rather than hearing someone say,  ‘I’m sorry. We never dreamed this sort of thing would happen.’

http://www.politifact.com/texas/statements/2013/sep/04/texas-values/san-antonio-ordinance-wont-allow-men-womens-restro/

All this  might stem from the fact that I was abused as a child.  I really don’t know.   Or it may stem from the fact that I have been stalked several times.  Now, that I do know.toilet sign

I think about it this way…  if it ain’t broke ‘don’t fix it.’  

What is wrong with having the women’s bathroom for women, and the men’s bathroom for the men?

Has not that system worked all these years?

With regards to the home situation…  Well, is totally different.  We are at home.  We all know each other… ans supposedly nobody is trying to prey upon another.  We grow up using bathrooms inside the home as a family.  But in public the same principles do not apply.  And it has always been broken down as facilities for men… and separate facilities for women.

Why mess with that now?

One could say that this is the problem that we have with our medical system in this country today.  Who in the world started messing with it?????

Huh????

We had a system that used to work.  People used to be able to see qualified doctors not just Stethoscopepeople tied into their medical plans, who only issue prescriptions for medication manufacturers tied to pharmaceutical companies who own their plans… to whom their now doctors are also tied to.  Kind of a vicious little circle… called lets keep the money in-house.  And that is exactly what they do… if they can.

Sure our old medical system might have had issues… lets face it nothing is perfect.  But it had worked fine for hundreds… maybe thousands of years more or less as it was.   The pluses were  (1) you could pick and chose your 50c4090e22ffa.preview-620own doctors.  (2) Hospitals had to treat people whether they had insurance or not.   And (3) if a doctor wasn’t working for you… you could just pick up your marbles and go to another one without asking the doctor you are trying to rid yourself of… to write you a ‘referral.’

Who thought of this ‘doctor’s referral‘ thing?medical-insurance_policy-insurance_company-health_insurance-prescription-medication-llan1213l

We are not children.  Why do we need to ask a doctor ‘may I?’

Or ‘can I?’

And if they won’t then… you can’t.  You are just plain STUCK.

That is just a little bit too much control over  patients if you asked me.

But going back to my original issue with removing ‘MEN’ and ‘WOMEN‘  signs from public toilets….or those little pictures that mean ‘MEN’ or ‘WOMEN’ toilet facilities.   I clearly understand what probably escapes many people…   is that who is going to get blamed when stuff starts going wrong with making such an sane which to our long established system of public toilet facilities.

Most people like to believe that the people who perpetrate crimes on children… particularly on boys… little boys are all gay.   If you only knew.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  If you could  only hear some of the gay guys talking on this subject, then you would certainly know  THAT to be a lie.   Most gay men… and36875-Boys-Like-Men-Love[1] women… if not all of them… hate people who  perpetrate sexual crimes against children  …or anyone else for that matter.

I know personally that many gay people get mad when these people… sexual perverts such as NAMBLER… North American Man/Boy Love Association… attempt to tie or associate themselves to the gay community.   Mostly because those men involved in that kind of thing are not gay.  They think of themselves as straight men who merely love having sex with very very young boys.   These men are low life predators.  A bunch of six depraved men with warped minds.   Of whom I have absolutely no tolerance whatsoever for.

The Nambler men are sexual deviants straight out of hell who prey upon very very young boys while living what appears to be very regular lives as heterosexual men… and men who seek out very very young little girls to do the same… they are just as intolerable.    They are all highly deceitful.  Many are married and/or have girlfriends… some even have their own children.

We are living in a time when laws and ordinances are being created and made that will medical+marijuana+(1)cause more harm to our society … than at any other time.  And crimes are becoming more and more heinous… and laws more and more lacks.

Who thought of legalizing marijuana?

Who approved it?

Now, you not only have to careful and the lookout for drunken drivers… or those underimages the influence of all those other long recognized nonlegal and legal drugs out there.  But now also have to be on the lookout  for people driving around buzzed… under the influence of marijuana, whose system is just as whacked out and as much impacted by effects of marijuana as anyone who has been drinking or using some other narcotic drug.

Now, these guys are selling marijuana stocks and bonds on Wall Street to fund their marijuana farms.

This whole thing is becoming very insane.   My father would say… ‘the world is going out backwards.’  And it truly is.

Pandora’s box is being left wide open.  And there is no turning back the terrible tide that it is unleashing upon this world.

Fools and depraved minds have taken over our Courts and government.  They are creating laws and writing into place legislation that are turning this world upside downTraditional_Wedding_001.

Having been in ‘the life‘ for many years, of course, I do understand why gay people wanted the right to be legally married.  I myself had personally witnessed and knew of several relationships where one partner or lover had died.   After having spent many years together I saw where families IMG_0016stepped in following the death of their family member deciding  to take over everything from the surviving lover in that relationship… including the funeral arrangements.  Just ripping everything out of the hands of the surviving partner or lover.

They may have had amassed a house… and/or a business… or other items purchased and/or paid for together… or co-owned by the both of them… but in came their family.   They took 7979_michael-robert-crawford-shorty-gay-black-95c9f1136cb41710control over the dead body… and eventually forced the surviving partner out.

So, yes I can understand how having some level of law to protect what 2 people had accumulated together would be helpful to them. Particularly in light of greedy family members… who many times cast off their gay family member years ago… only to re-emerge following their death to declare to their surviving lover ‘you don’t own anything here… and get out.’  But then I have seen that in heterosexual relationships too… where people lived together for years and failed to marry.

But did the law governing marriage have to be rewritten to provide for that is my question?

I think not.   That right could have been gotten a whole entire way without trying to *Jan 07 - 00:05*23_NE Consortiumredefine marriage as something other than what God intended marriage to be… and between whom He intended it be between.

But their are people who have been put in place to bring about any change that delights that other spirit that also inhabits this world.  Just a chosen few people in the right places is all it takes to set about a change that effects everyone in the land.   And that is the problem with our system… it doesn’t take the masses to do it any more.

It was just a single woman… a mother with 2 sons that took prayer out of public schools around this entireimages nation.  Just 1 demonic woman.

Today just a small group of people can decide to do something… and BAM!     It is done.   Things changed that you never thought you would see changed.

Who would have guessed that marijuana would ever get legalized in this country?

Who????

Next it will be crack cocaine… then cocaine and everything else.  Why not… it all makes money?

Even  lying after Bush became acceptable if it somehow can be seen mission_accomplishedto serve greater good.  Or some kind of meaningful …or in Bush’s case devante purpose.  But nobody started throwing stones at him when they finally found out he lied about ‘weapons of mass destruction,’ as a means for him to invade Iraq and start an unnecessary war, in order to push up gas prices and make his family richer.  And that it ended up killing millions of Americans, mostly young college kids for no good cause.

There is someone somewhere making BIG BUCKS from marijuana …and that you can bet your money on it.   Otherwise, how did marijuana stocks hit the stock market so quickly?

And who are the really people cashing in on it?

Probably the people who have always been at the top of the illegal American drug trade in the first place.

No, there are things happening in our government today… that even those guys on Capitol Hill… the insiders know and are dealing with …who are pulling all the strings to our never money-flying-background-24856509before.  And because we now live in a global economy… our inter-actions in the global world… wield lots of global influence…  that person or persons may not even be American… nor Americans.  But they are for real.

They are getting things done that no of us ever dreamed would ever be done.  And the change that they are effecting is not for the good of this country.

Not at all.

If, indeed, legislators were legitimately looking to legislate some good policy they should take a look at the evils in this world and sincerely seeks ways to remove and/or lessen them… not open the doors for more to come about.

I had wanted to talk about the 300 or so Nigerian girls which were kidnapped.  But I’m being pushed out of here.  Maybe tomorrow…5448296-3x2-340x227

But the 1 thing that stays on my mind about that whole thing is how nearly 300 school girls were kidnapped from their school… and nobody did nothing?

How did that happen?

http://abcnews.go.com/International/nigerian-kidnapped-girls/story?id=23590323

How it that 300 young school girls, kidnapped on April 15th of this years and are still under 140502114535-nigeria-schoolgirls-demonstration-story-topthe hands of their kidnappers, have yet to be found or released?

Most of the problem in this case stems from world interest in this story and the fact that the Nigerian government officials do not want the involvement of outsider aid… such as the United States… in assisting them in freeing the girls … or seeking freedom for them.  Most of it boils down to political pride on the part of the Nigerian officials not wanting it to be seen as they cannot handle their own affairs.  Of which they evidently cannot based upon the kidnapping of these young girls they are in dire need of some help… from someone.nigeria-missing-girls

Why be so proud that you cannot accept assistance in such a matter as this?

It is foolish.  If any of the government official’s daughters were involved they wouldn’t be able to accept help quick enough.  But it is evident that none of their daughters is at risk.

There is no telling as to what is happening to those young girls when you consider the treatment of women who have be taken by such groups as the bunch of criminals who claimed that they took these girls.  1399593508062.jpg-620x349[1]It is not uncommon for women/girls to be raped, beaten and abused in an array of various ways including sold into bondage and prostitution.

http://media.smh.com.au/news/world-news/kidnapped-girls-parents-speak-out-5411352.html

It is my hope that a resolve comes soon… as it has already much too long in the making.  I pray for those young girls.nigeria-girls

I am thankful we have a President who cares about Africa …and her people.  Thank you, President Obama.

I know people are going to think I am whack-co but since I am on the subject let me take a moment to go back and hit upon this subject regarding transgender individuals as well.   It appears to me that this whole 0thing is becoming more and more rampant.  It has become a trend …and it is growing fast.

There was once a time when transgender and yes, even drag queens were kind of looked down upon.  But a boom is on to change all of that.  Their ranks are growing… and growing even at early ages.

It is almost becoming a fab now among many in the gay community.  Kind of like all this body piercing and tattooing that has grown so popular… and tattooing lately.  And not only has it become popular… trendy… but it is even d91fdb1b548bb8890a97863a515f3604becoming acceptable to many outside of the gay community.

Few people used to talk about such things as ‘I feel like I was born to be a man’ if they were a woman… or vise versa.  But there is lots of chatter about that now.  The seeds have been laid… and it has become like a ranging fire swirling out of control.

It kind of reminds of my niece saying to me 1 Sunday, ‘Auntie, I don’t afro-americanwant to go to this church any more.  I’m not being fed.’

Not being fed?

What did she know about not being fed.  It was not she like she was Young Woman Thinkingsaved or anything… or even paying any attention much during our church services. But she had heard someone else said it.  And that was all she needed… to being her own reverberating of those words ‘I’m not being fed.’

The true being told no church was going to feed her spiritually as she, at that point, was not really interested in being in church at all anyways.

black_gay_LGBT_black_enterpriseSo, what I am trying Bio-headshot-300x243to say here is this… all these people declaring that they are something other than what God created them to be… be it male or female.   They have been bitten by a bug… and the world today is full of people who follow what other people do.  This stems from hearing something like ‘I never felt comfortable being a girl’… following somebody sitting on some television show… national, of course… sounding and looking every bit like a man or ever bit like a woman.  And the viewer internalizes that notion and begins feeling and saying that exact same thing… as they start e5545ef4c71211e2b06022000a9e289e_7working their way to becoming a transitioning something or other.

It is really rather sad to me.  But who knows …when the devil had me… he really had me too.  So, who knows if this trend had been so hot and heavy in my days what I might not have elected to do it too?

Perhaps I should not cast any stones.  But thank God that is not my mind today.  For the devil no longer has be captive.

But now I am seeing them everywhere… transgender people.  And reading and hearing  more and more about people ‘transitioning.’  Meaningmedicine-543 slipping out of being 1 type of sexual being into another… as in going from being… or appearing to be male to appearing to be female via surgery, shots and medication etc.

For a while now I have been thinking about a friend of mine who recently was informedtimthumb by her daughter to begin calling her ‘Harry’ or some nonsense… (I am kind of playing with the name here as I do not wish to disclose the real name).     But yes, she has begun eating up all those pills and seeking to undergo the surgery.

I cannot think of anything more which resembles self-hate more to me than an act such 894497as this.  And the thing seems to have become more and more popular… and widespread among those in the gay community.

And that is what they say ‘I hated myself because I knew I was suppose to be a girl.’

You know what the devil is the great deceiver.  All of my life until most recently I used to think of myself as being ugly.  I really thought I was ugly and never like taking pictures.  I didn’t want any mirrors in my room.  I rarely looked at myself in the mirror.  But you know what a few years ago I started thinking about something…

I started thinking about all the times I had gotten stalked.  Yes, I said stalked.  And I said ‘all the times I got stalked.’Short-Haircut-with-Long-Bangs1

I have been stalked at least 5 times in my life if not more.  And I started thinking about that.

I had had some very beautiful girlfriends… but none of them had ever been stalked.  Or least ways not to my knowledge.  So, I wondered 1 day ‘why me?’2ab-the-bishop-wifecover

It was not until I started trying to get a picture for the back cover of my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE,  that I discovered something.  And it came about shortly after I got saved… and came into the realization that God never created anything ugly.

So, now as I was looking for a picture for my book… I also began to see myself in a new and very different light.  And in that light I realized that I had never ever been ugly.

I laugh at it now because for over 40 nearly 50 years I had felt that I was not attractive at all.  I just never saw what I see now… and I have attached this picture of me so you IMG_1524566753448can see too.  Isn’t it funny.  Stalked at least 5 times …and I mean seriously stalked.  Once so bad I almost had a nervous breakdown because I became so terrified.  And I have been stalked by men and women.

But once I came into the light… and the scales were removed from my eyes I began to see me that had always been there… but I had never seen before because… to me … in my eyes then I was ugly.

So, now you see me.  And, of course, that is me below also.  But when the devil has your mind …he can make you believe anything… even that you are man when you really are a woman.  God does not make mistakes.  But the devil does… and often.  Don’t let him fool you too.

When my friend’s daughter…  her other daughter called me up and told me the story about her decisions to become a man… my mind began to take a tumble.  It is hard for me to wrap my mind around anyone wanting to destroy river-church-e1338382904428them-self in such a horrid way as this… as  an act of trying to re-order their sexual gender would be doing.  And all I could think of was the woman… really a man who tried to join Salsa-Soul Sisters.  An act which met with such furry that the person was totally forced out of our group sessions and following that night stopped entirely coming to our Salsa-Soul Sisters meetings at all.

Those lesbians called an emergency meeting where immediately they voted in unanimously ‘that no person who is not born bio-logically a woman could ever be a board meeting of Salsa-Soul.’   And they meant every word of it.2012-03-23-MCpicwithlavernereduced

And I mean they all rush into that meeting that night… for that emergency meeting.  The only emergency meeting I think Salsa ever had.  Sisters I hadn’t seen in years… some I even think got up out the grave to attend that meeting.

It was a pivotal point in Salsa-Soul Sisters history alexander_robinson_1that night.  I think in the lesbian world really… in how we all view some things… Salsa was a scared female only organization.   So, a man… even 1 dressed up as a woman.. with boobs etc…   Well, a thing like that was not acceptable to us… to none of us.  And a man… going through a sex change to become a woman so he could be a lesbian… was not acceptable to those real 100% lesbian women who came into that meeting to voice their opinions on the matter… and it would never be and they made sure of that.  Lease ways not as a board member of their prized and beloved organization… Salsa Soul Sister, Inc.   And I have to say… I agreed.

But the odd point is this … as freaky as that whole thing was to me… and as it was to my fellow Salsa-Soul Sisters… I never saw where it might ever become a larger issue.  A world issue… if you get my drift.  As I now see it 10444567_10152485603178664_1942096084515253197_nbecoming.

This thing is large and it incorporates changing legal documents which are adjusted to the conform and affirm the status, name etc. of the said person.  This includes drivers licenses and everything… which once read ‘male’ are now changed to read ‘female.’  And to me that is scary.  Because these people move away Kylar Broadus_3_0from home where nobody knows them and present themselves to unsuspecting people as someone totally different from who they really were born to be… and they look many of them every bit the part of who they are trying to pretend to be… and sound like it too with the help of all of what they are taking by way of medication to assist in their incredible changes.

If questioned about it… saying that someone questioned if they were a man or a woman?

All they have to do is pull out this new false licenses, passports etc… listing their new names, social security numbers and sex on them.  And who could argue that they were not who or what they claimed to be.b0454ff6518b7c9a0079e1f9bf52dc09

Today the amount of people opting to change their sex is staggering to me.  It is like a fad with many people deciding to do it… like changing an old hat or pulling off an old tee shirt.

I would years ago not believed that there were more than a mere handful of whacked out people willing enough to do it.  But Laverne and Kylarit has become the new ‘in thing.’   And it is catching on like wildfire.

Whenever I am talking to the sister of the daughter who is going through this type of change… which is called ‘transitioning,’  I avoid speaking about her sister at all now.  As the thing really is a bit too much for me… and I would rather not hear about it.  But I understand that she has had her breast removed and her voice is changing.  And ‘yes’ she is beginning to grown facial hair… so the process of DTQAQohnVThGBDG-556x313-noPadlooking more and more like the male species is well underway for her … as well as, sounding like 1.

The sister has told me that her mother and everybody else in the family is calling her ‘him’ now… and by his adaptive name… ‘Harry.’    Which really surprised me.  Because I would not have believed that their mother would have fallen into that game… and it is a game.  Really it is.  And it is a game that I just cannot play… because it would be lying… and too accepting of your child going through that process.

If your child was a robber would you accept that?

ts-amiyah+mizrahiI think not.  Then why accept a change that is going to alter your child into someone or something you will no longer recognize …and living in such a diverse lifestyle that is GTY_cher_chaz_bono_sr_131101_16x9_992bound to bring them nothing but unhappiness later on down the road… if not already  And it will.

I hear that Chaz… Cher’s daughter has found that it may have been the wrong choice for her… in altering herself or attempting to alter herself into a man.  Let’s face it… Chaz will always be known as Cher’s daughter whether they call her Chasity of not.   We can all agree that she looks and sounds ever bit like a man.  But at the end of the day she is just a woman who had a sex change.   And THAT, my friend… really doesn’t add up to being a ‘real man.’

How could I go around calling someone ‘her’ or ‘she’ when I know that they are a ‘he or a her?’ 

And since I would rather not hurt their feelings it is best ‘we’ do not come together at all.

black-baby1Now, I am not for disowning people.  Or throwing away ones children.  That would be down right wrong.  But we cannot accept all kinds of  junk either.   A parent cannot discard their child… and should not.   But  this whole ‘I changing my sex thing’ certainly should not be forced down any parent’s throat either.  That is the feeling I got about my friend’s daughter… she had no respect of what or how her parents felt about it.  Or cared about how they felt about it.  It was her way or no way.  So, her mother conceded and began calling her daughter ‘he’ and ‘him’ … and whatever name she is calling herself.african-american-woman-drinking-water1

I had lovers… a few of them even met my parents.  But I was 1 of those people who was very discrete about my relationship with the women I went to bed with.  I certainly never kissed or held their hands in the company of my parents… or out in mixed company anywhere.   In fact, while in the company of my parents it never tumblr_static_249320-supreme-court-gay-marriagecame to me to want to.  Because… I guess I respected them too much to want to.

I have always maintained and still maintain… that my life is my life.   I also felt that it was not necessary for me to go shouting through the streets or around world who I was sleeping with.  And I have always maintained that I really did not care who other people were sleeping with as long as it was not involving children or animals.  Outside of that… it  really wasn’t any of my business.

Though I had a friend working at a radio station in New York and 1 evening I imagesaccompanied her to the radio station, and upon greeting someone she noted to me privately ‘that he likes young boys.’    She went on to say, ‘boys between 4 and 7.’   I never went back to the radio station with her after that… because all I could do was kind of duanna johnsonstare at the guy and think that somebody should put him out of his misery.  Such people have to be sad people to me.

How could you live with yourself doing such a thing?

I don’t know how she could work in a place like that… with someone like that.   I could barely make it through the evening knowing what she had told me about him.

But how does anyone share information like that with anyone?

And how does anyone not report him?

And you would have had to have seen the guy… never would you have guessed it.  Tall… muscular… good looking kind of guy… normal on the outside.  But dark on the inside… filled with some deep dark secrets.  It Black-Man-Back-Pain-669x272was written in his eyes… I think.

Why or how he managed to share them… that kind of information about himself and his sexual forays with my friend I do not know.   But that was all she had to say to me to keep me away from that radio station ever again.  But I have never forgotten him.  Because there was something rather sad about him… as well.  You cannot live like that… or that kind of life and not be sad.   A very sad sad person.

GTY_bruce_jenner_76_olympics_sk_140213_16x9_608But back to this transgender revolution that is exploding all over the place.  It is sad to see how the world is going backwards.  How twisted and turned around people are becoming.  There is a lost of direction… and everything bad seems to be in.  Or appears to be the latest thing to do.  bruce_jenner_skin+cancerEven Bruce Jenner, step dad of the Kardashians and an Olympic champion, in his younger days… has gotten in on the transgender act.    I is hard for me to see or understand why so many people are electing to do so… or are so guns-hoo for it.  It boggles the mind.

http://www.celebdirtylaundry.com/2014/bruce-jenner-daughter-cassandra-marino-sex-change-gender-reassignment-physical-changes-0220/

6a00e550255d3c883301901bcd0eb5970b-320wiAnd what is even more mind boggling to me… is the fact that many once they undergo their change now classify themselves as being ‘straight.’  Meaning they do not want to be classified as being gay or transgender etc… etc… at all.  They think of themselves as being totally man or woman… not transformed being.  This thing is crazy.ziegler

That is what I think about this whole new thing… crazy.  This whole thriving world of transgender individuals…. people who think that it is ‘hip’ … I am dating myself here I know but I can’t think of another word that fits better than ‘they think it is ‘hip.’   ‘Hip’ to be an ‘it.’  

I have seen them… seen pictures of them… and they seem to be happy outwardly…and loving who they are pretending to be.  But I know that is a lie.   You cannot be really happy or  love anything …and be out so of alignment with God.

You did know this part was coming.  Least ways I hope you did… because I could not leave this blog without bringing Him up.  He does play a factor… a major factor in all of this.  Especially since He created us all.

Oh, you can appear to be happy.  But appearing to be happy and being happy are 2 totally different things.black-man-and-woman

What God has made us to be… that is what we are.  And no doctor or amount of chemicals or operations can change it.  Your DNA is your DNA and that is God’s doing.  Everything else is meant to be confusion… strife… and deceitful.

Do not let the devil destroy you.  And if your child is dealing with these issues remember rakdos-demon-lordyou can’t change them… therapy can’t change them…  but God can.  He changes and mind and the heart… He changed mines.  Just keep your children lifted up in prayer.   Pray without ceasing and love on them …and let God do His perfect work in them.

My parents prayed for me.  And you see me as I am today… God made a new creature out of me.  And He didn’t need any medication or shots or surgery to do it.

One last thing before I get out of here…

This woman here and her daughter… turned male supposedly… are just looking for a reality show deal 610x3601on the backs of this whole transgender mess.  If they don’t already have 1.  The thought of it makes me sick… because it puts out there this concept of changing your sexual identity is alright… that it is good… and okay… and above all… it can make you happy and ‘in.’   And so many many many people are just looking for anything that will o-VIVIAN-BILLINGS-TRANSGENDER-SON-facebookmake them ‘in’… they are looking for anything that make them more friends or gather them some attention.  They are looking for their 15 minutes of fame and possible fortune.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/01/vivian-billings-transgender-son-_n_3192688.html

And this is sad… and sends the wrong message to those whom we see today are mixed up in this very vivian-billings-kaydenimpressionable society.

And if you ask me this woman is definitely pimping her daughter… and the look of her daughter’s face…says she is loving every minute of it.  It is all me resized...about money, baby

You do see what her cap says don’t you?1452460_10200798820042084_848507925_n

Or maybe they are both just pimping each other…2ab-the-bishop-wifecover

Well, God bless…. I have got to get started on something else before I get out of here.  So, I have to end now.  But you will not believe that I actually wrote this blog several weeks ago… and I am now just getting around to adding all the finishing touches to it today.  Oh, well…   Hope you enjoy your weekend and I truly do God will bless you and keep you well.

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2014

When you watch this stuff it really really makes you scared for the world… and all its people. It is frightening times because the devil is taking the minds… hearts… and bodies of our children.  And some parents are aiding in that process.

This stuff is sick… and very distressing…   Perilous times…. II Timothy 3:1…

UPDATE:  Wednesday, July 10, 2014….Okay, I’ve just finished watching the graduation speech to -d5080b0ec13c29aathe college in the video above by the (I hate to say ‘he-she’ above)… but you know what?

I think whoever termed that phrase got it right.  And for a truth they were way ahead of their time when they first started saying it.

Times have gone crazy.  Why would you invite a transsexual to be your graduating class main speaker?

classof2014Alright, maybe I could see it if the person had done some type of fantastic or earth scattering deed… discovered something (other than he wanted to be a woman and was now pretending to be one).   But all this guy does is pull at his very bad weave and talk about himself.  I must admit that I have known more than my share of drag queens who loved to do the very same.  But nobody paid them ‘x’ amount of dollars or extended an invitation to them to come and be the guest speaker of their class graduation at some college.

I must be missing something.  And I am not trying to be funny… but I kind of liked it _MG_3679_0when we celebrated people for ‘really’ achieving something other than cutting off their penises… or attempting to grow 1.   This is sick…truly.

And I know somebody is not going to like it.  They will call me homophobic and bildeeverything else.  And I can live with that.

But what I cannot live with… is me sitting around and being quiet as I watch this world sink into holes it will never ever be able to pull itself out of again.  Pandora’s box is open…

One thing about everything when you are growing up.  Everything is a joke to you… until it isn’t a joke.   Don’t be caught unawares…

www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2014

 

Add a comment June 20, 2014

B. SCOTT…drag QUEEN…

I just happened to come across this person while writing my last blog.  And after watching some footage of him I knew I had to write something on him.B-Scott-Head

Michael-Jackson-cuteHis name is B. Scott and he classifies himself as being androgynous… kind like what Michael wanted to be… somewhere between being male and female.

I have seen few people who have pretended to be as happy as B. Scott pretends like he is.  When I was in ‘the life’ I thought I was happy too.  But I never pretended like I was over joyed with it.  Over a period of time I just came to accept it… which I guess if you finally settle upon ‘this is who I am’ you tend to do.  You just start to kind of accept it.  Which is what B. Scott said he finally came to do.

Though I have seen thousands of gay guys and women who acted like they were super dupper happy being gay.  I had also seen them …many of them in the tears because they wished they could be like everyone else.

B-Scott-BET-AwardsWhen I watched this video on YouTube by B. Scott… the 1 below… it really prompted me to write this blog.  Because there were a few things that he said that really gave me insight as to who he is… and why.

(I’ve got to find the right video)  But in the YouTube video  B. tells of how people used to say to him when he was a little boy, ‘You so pretty you should have been born a girl.’

child-cryingIn hearing that it made me think of my son, who at the age of 13… 1 day broke down and started crying saying to me that I would never be a grandmother.  Then he said that he must be ‘gay’ because everyone told he that.

How could I defeat what he was saying?

At the time I was not saved.  I was speechless and did not know what to say.  I was shocked.

Today I big-horns-devil-maskwould rebuke that devil and call the devil and liar.  But that day… I was speechless.  I did not know what to say.

I must confess to being 1 of those gay mothers who was seriously homophobic… terribly.  But I never pushed my thoughts nor my fears over onto my son.    Well, I hope not… certainly never intentionally.   But there was a period in my life when florida-evanshe could nothing right.  I hollered at him about everything.  I did not realize that I was doing that though until a woman who was part of my film shoot on my short film… a niece to Florida of ‘Good Times’… pointed it out to me and talked to me about it.  She said, ‘Why are you always yelling at him?’

I never realized that I did.  But I am glad she brought it to my attention.  I might have drove my son away… but thank God that did not happened.  That big headed boy took me out to dinner last night… to very expensive sea img_2014food restaurant that we both like.  But I do not love him because he treats me to thing… or buys me stuff…  I love him because he is ‘my son.’  And I thank God for him.

I had never heard anyone call him that… that word… ‘gay.’   Though I think they were careful not to do so while I was around… as I would not have liked it.  Though I must say that at an early age I started to feel like I was seeing certain signs of it.  But here is where I want to tell you how the devil works.

You are not seeing anything that the devil has not put in your mind.  Your young children know 11354_loresnothing about sex… but the devil will toy with your brain and make you believe you are seeing things which are not there.

You don’t believe me????

Let me share with you this.  One night while in my apartment in downtown Brooklyn…. as I was leaving the living room to go towards my bedroom I looked down at the floor.  Upon looking down I saw the floor was covered with large water bugs everywhere.  I Palmetto+bugmean swarming with them everywhere.  I quickly looked up and said to myself, ‘the devil is a liar.’
I don’t know where that came from… but that is what I said.  Then I looked back down at the floor and there were no water bugs anywhere.  It had 179293342all been a figment of my imagination… brought about from the devil knowing that I had a fear of those things.  Which came about by the fact that occasionally I would see a water bug in my apartment…  something that my landlord refused to believe.

But that night the devil had decided that he was going to drive me mad… meaning crazy by presenting to me a ton of those horrible things crawling all over my apartment floor around me… and they covered my entire apartment floor.  But I did not go crazy.  God kept my mind… because He did not let me fall for it.  I merely shut my eyes for whatever reason… (as I did not know it was God’s doing at the time)…  I just started believing that they were not there.  You would have had to seen them.  They were so real.

b+scott+kiss+kissThis is how I know that people can see things… which look as real as anything you can touch or feel… and it not really be there.  It was just something that the devil presented to me… and had made it appear real to me because he knew I was afraid of those things. Of which New York seems to me have quite a few of them.

http://www.glaad.org/blog/oregon-mother-charged-killing-her-son-because-she-thought-he-was-gay

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????The woman in the above link killed her 4 year old son because she believed he was gay.  The devil truly had her mind that she would have done such an insane thing.  But he does and can plants seeds in your head… and make you see and hear things which are not really there.   And if you are not careful… and  you let them take root in you… you will believe what the devil has planted and will act out in whatever way he wants you to.

Play-TimeOne day I heard a friend of mine yelling at 1 of her grandsons… ‘Put that rope down, boy.  You ain’t no girl.’

What does having a jump rope in your hand have to do with being gay?

So, what if a little boy wants to jump rope.  It does not mean he wants to grow long hair and become a girl.

But my friend did not realize that she was planting seeds… that 1 day would grown into just what she was asking for.

I had wanted to badly to tell her that what she and other members in her family were doing to him in regards to African-American-Male-Depressedcalling her grandson a ‘girl’… or saying to him had some ‘girl in him’ was wrong.  But I knew they would not listen to me… so I did not.  But now in hindsight I realized I should have tried …if for no other reason other than for her grandson’s sake.

We must speak LIFE to your children.  And do not let anyone speak DEATH to them… not even in joking.  Calling your boy Adam+&+B.+Scottchild a girl is speaking death to him… or your girl child a boy.  Don’t do it.  Encourage them to have fun… let them enjoy themselves as children without you putting all your own sexual hangups upon them.

Bscott_2010So, when I watched and listened to the above video of B. Scott I realized just how he had come to be and why.  I understand him… not so much because of what my son had said to me.  But because I understand how little children can become confused as to who they are if people keep pushing them in some other direction by saying ignorant things to them that labelsmakes them believe what people are saying about them.  And I guess that does kind of fit directly with what my son had said to me.

My entrance into ‘the life’ was very different… it had nothing to do with anyone calling me a ‘boy.’   Because frankly I never looked like 1… nor did I ever want to be 1.  Though I wasn’t much of a baby doll playing little girl either.  I don’t think I tried climbing trees… but I did try my hand at trying to fix a couple of things when I was young.

57614780-450x303But being the oldest my youth was superseded by my having to learn how to do iStock_000005252441XSmall-300x199things at an early age… like washing dishes.  I do not know how old I was when my father pushed a chair up to the kitchen sink… but that was the beginning of my years of me being our family dishwasher.  Then I was taught how to cook… and the list goes on and on…

I was introduced to sex at a very early age.  Not via any family members but outside of our home.  Only twice had it happened.  But it happened before I had a voice or knew I had a voice or african_american_girl_1any idea of what was happening.  That is not to say I was an infant.  I was just a very young innocent child of maybe 6…7… or 8.   group-of-african-american-womenAnd the 2 times it happened they happened at varying times… not close or together.  Maybe a year or so apart… can’t remember that part.

I made mention on 1 of the times in 1 of my other blogs not so long ago.  It was a time that I almost got gang raped… but God said ‘no.’  That was the first time that someone took advantage of me.  But those 2 experiences marked my life forever… and how I think and feel about people who take advantage or abuse children.

But contrary to what many people may say or think… sexual preference many times may not have anything to do with what you were indoctrinated to… or let me say it this way first introduced to sexually.

Keyonte+2Though I have spoken to many gay guys and they had the opposite experience… and some women too.  It did lead them into a life of homosexuality.  And a lot of times it happened to them with someone who took advantage of them sitting in some position in b-scott-man-womanthe church… lived in their apartment building… was a close friend to their mother or father… and ‘yes’ even sometimes it was a relative… or a daughter or a son of the 1 their parent’s friend.  One of my times was such a case as that.  My mother must have known… as she never went to visit that friend ever again.

But going back to this guy B. Scott in watching his videos I felt sorry for him… because I understood him in ways that many people will never get to.  And I also recognized his gaiety… or supposed happiness… really to be his sadness.

me resized...Love you, B. Scott.  And hoping that 1 day God will do a work in your life like he did in mine.  I hope the same 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverfor my son…. and the many sons and daughters dealing with identity problems… issues… or sexual confusion.

And I hope your laughter and smiles will become ‘real’… and turn into a joy that surpasses all understanding 1 day.

And that 1 day you will look into a mirror and see how really handsome you are… and start loving the ‘real’ you’ and not that the ones who 1452460_10200798820042084_848507925_nwere agents of devil told you were… but who God really made you to be.

Well, God bless…. I am really supposed to be doing something else right now.  But I just wanted to take the time to do this blog really quickly.  I hope that it falls upon fertile ground…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2014


2 comments April 17, 2014

DIANA KING… ROBIN ROBERTS…. DEITRICK HADDON… okay?

DIANA-KING-300x293Now, I really don’t know who Diana King is… but since people have been hitting up my blog page to read about her… I thought I should googled her up.  And I did.

And guess what?

I still don’t know who she is.  I am not really all into the music scene like I used to be.  Somebody says ‘concert’ to me I look the other way say, ‘Oh, I can’t stand the noise.’

Well, I’ve gotten older.

But she… this Diana King does kindda looks familiar to me for some reason… but I don’t know how.  I think because she reminds me of this lady who rides the bus… they look similar.

I gave up listening to the radio for the most part years ago.  Because when I listen to radio I am literally working. DianaKingPartner When you come from an industry you view everything within the eyes of that industry.

So, when I hear radio… I see the disc jockey… radio announcer (as I like to be called if you have to call me at all)… or DJ…   Well, I hear everything you don’t… I hear the segways… the music mixes… their voice… what they say… in ways that a regular normal listener doesn’t.  And the same thing happens to me when I go see a movie.

A movie has to be very good in order to draw me into the storyline within the first few minutes of its beginning… other than that I’m looking at how a scene was lit… the camera angle… the type of shot  …the sound effects and audio mix down etc..etc…etc..

So, I guess you get the point.   I am a professional… and as a professional in these industries we just hear it and see it very different from lay people.

2013-07-22-20130718DSC_5679So, this Diana King… at first I thought it was Oprah’s friend.  Because you know the rumors about her and her friend.  So, I thought it was Gail and not ‘Diana’ King at first that people were trying to find out more about.  And I was thinking that maybe they had discovered that Gail ‘really’ was a lesbian.  But… the search was for this woman Diana… I got the names twisted.

Apparently popular in the reggae world,  Diana is a dance hall girl.  I guess that means she shaked a lot of her back side.  And ‘yes’ if you were 1 of those looking, Diana did recently come out as being gay.

Personally, with that tattoo in the middle of her forehead she looks satanic to me.  And she looks much older than her girlfriend.

Which means nothing to me… because I am not familiar with her.  But I will tell you that I was slightly surprised about Robin Roberts from the ‘Good Morning America’ Show coming out.  I never quite4i6XU thought that about her… not that it really matters what I thought.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/29/showbiz/robin-roberts-comes-out/

Oh, I knew she had once been a basketball player and all that… and many of the women in the league are gay.  But I never thought it about Robin.  But she too recently came out… having been with her lover for the past 10 years.

Though I must say… I was a wee bit taken back when my girl Cheryl Swoops espnw_g_swoopes_16_576left her husband and married her girlfriend some few years back.  To me Cheryl had to have been the all time best female basketball player of all times.  I think she is coaching now.  But my goodness what a player she was…

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/27/sports/basketball/27swoopes.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Ibwtvscreencap21 know you are probably waiting for me to begin 1 of my stories about having been ‘in the life‘…  gay some years ago.  Well, I don’t think I’m going to say much on it today.  Except I had… but thank goodness I am now redeemed.  And I am so glad about it.

Thank goodness God desired me… even when I wasn’t thinking about Him.

Read something about Deitrick Haddon… seems some nasty little pictures of him came out recently. hqdefault

http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/29/showbiz/robin-roberts-comes-out/

It amazes me how many comments I have gotten over Deitrick.  These women sound like they hate me.

What have I done?

Deitrick doesn’t need me to do him in… he is doing a fine job of it for himself.hatton   He appears to be someone who will do whatever it takes to get you some exposure… good or bad.  Nobody takes nude pictures and sends them to someone without believing they may show up somewhere.

Can’t believe Deitrick stuff is all over the internet… if it really is his.  This whole Hollywood thing of exposing yourself  or some video of you having sex is making me sick.

And that formula works.  These people exactly get deals… and contracts behind doing indecent things.

Who ever heard of that Kardashen woman until that nasty video?

http://magicbaltimore.com/3395012/deitrick-haddon-nude-photos-leak/

Just heard that Serena Williams just beat another victim on the tennis court.  The girl is too fierce… as Patti LaBelle would say.

I think it is marvelous the depth and width of her ability to do what she does… even when she is not feeling 100 … or the ‘nay’ sayers count her out.  And that is when both she and Venus really show them what they are made of.

Serena Williams

Current tournament:Sony Open Tennis (Women’s Singles)
1
S. Williams
7
6
Finals
2
N. Li
5
1
Mar 29, Completed
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S. Williams
6
6
Semifinals
4
M. Sharapova
4
3
Mar 27, Completed
1
S. Williams
6
6
Quarterfinals
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A. Kerber
2
2
Mar 25, Completed
1
S. Williams
6
6
4th Round
C. Vandeweghe
3
1
Mar 24, Completed
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S. Williams
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4
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3rd Round
C. Garcia
4
6
4
Mar 22, Completed
1
S. Williams
79
6
2nd Round
Y. Shvedova
67
2
Mar 20, Completed

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10TH_SERENA_1482422fSerena keeps racking up the wins.. demolishing the records and still can2ab-the-bishop-wifecover’t me resized...get the endorsement deals.  I wish I owned some major corporation… because she would definitely be my spokes woman.  But those people won’t do it.

Well, I have over spent my time… time for me to get up out here now….

It has started to rain.  A refreshing  change to saying ‘it snowing now.’1452460_10200798820042084_848507925_n

My phone dropped and broke.  The store had me call these claim people for a new phone.  They told me that they didn’t have my phone in stock so they were going to up grade me to the Samsung Note 3?

But you know what I really liked my phone.  And particularly after I went and checked on the cost of my phone… which the woman told me was 3 hundred and something… and this new up-grade was 6 hundred and something.

cell-phoneYeah, but I really like my phone… especially since the woman told me that I would have pay a $150 for this new phone.  I had forgotten I had only paid $50 for mines.  And guess what… when I went back to the store that phone was still $50.  Forget the deductible… I want my old phone because the way I see it… those claims people are charging 3 times as much to replace it.  When I can just walk into the store and buy it again at the $50 price.

Forget the deductible… I know when I am coming out ahead.

So, I have been trying to reach these claim people.  And guess what?

They won’t answer.

Well, God bless…. hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2014




 

Add a comment March 29, 2014

Terrible Things…Infants, Babies, Toddlers and 9 Year Olders…

Black-woman-thinkingI have been thinking about writing this blog for a little while now.  But so much has been going on and I have had so little time to do much of anything… except edit video and work on my podcast (which I will tell you about a few weeks from now).

Does anybody but me feel like time is running away from us?

It seems I just do not have enough time in my day …or night any more.  I am finding myself staying up from  6 to 10:00 in the morning… if I sleep at all any more… only to still run out of time.

But here is what has been on my mind lately.

I have not heard of such grotesque things as these kinds of things I have happened   across posted on my Facebook page.  I have just spent the last 20 minutes trying to find some of those post on my Facebook page and can’t Hillard.jpgfind 1 of them now.

So, what little I know of them I am going to tell you.

First, there was this huge picture that leaped up at me of the woman you see here.  Just seeing it made me think…. “I  do not want to read this.”

Does she look like she is smirking… happy with herself????

I don’t know maybe she is about 30 something if that… a young black woman, heavy set….   You can’t tell much more than that.   But she was a supposed mother who had  2 children.  The ages of her children were an infant, of about 6 months, and a little 3 year old… 2 little girls.  She was arrested for having allowing some old man have sex with her children for money.

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2014/01/26/gary-woman-admits-selling-baby-for-sex/

Yes, I know…

I couldn’t really get past that point either.  An infant?

And a 3 year old daughter?

An infant… about 6 months old?????

And you selling your children for money…    And get this.  Videotaping the man doing it… and I think it said ‘sometimes joining in.’

They both deserved to be thrown under the jail… and never revisited again.

It made me think of Mo’que in that movie…Precious.

http://www.mrconservative.com/2014/02/34905-exclusive-pedophile-that-sexually-tortured-and-strangled-4-month-old-potentially-facing-the-death-penalty/

There are some stories I really can’t tell you about because I only read the caption below the picture of the person.  Based upon that I just didn’t not want to know any more.

Somethings are so heinous that you just don’t want to read any further.

I have found that I cannot read everything.  All of these kinds of things make me sick.  And they stay with me… really they stay with forever  it seems.

I find myself now praying day and night when it comes to mind that God build up His hedges african-american.baby_.shutterstockaround the babies and children, young kids, teens, young girls… and boys etc…   The times are very bad.  The level of sexual perversion is appalling… the acts and the deeds being perpetrated upon innocent people and children are unthinkable.

Since I can’t find any of the postings any longer on my Facebook page that I had wanted to write about… and this is the only one that I can think of… as I never got pass the picture or the caption of the others to really read any of their details.   Because after reading some of the comments under those postings I knew not to open it up… and a lot of times I felt I wished I hadn’t even read the caption under  the picture.

I just pray for all the little children… and that God heal the land of this and the other acts of diversness.

But as much as I would love for God to heal the land… I do know that the worst is yet to come.  All this is Biblical and our only defense against all the madness that is happening in today’s world and to come is to put on the whole amour of God.  Read the Word of God… and find out for yourself.

http://www.sullivan-county.com/nf0/combs/

old_combsHappened to come across this story of a supposed Baptist preacher and his wife who had kidnapped a young little girl, raise her for 19 years as their daughter while molding her to be a slave.e_combs

They abused the girl some much that not 1 area of her body is not scarred.  They beat her with metal baseball bats, water hose, hanged up, burned her, cut her, used pliers on her, and raped her etc…. And when she tried to run away she would only be returned to them… who would then abuse her even worst.

And these people called themselves saints… the man was a pastor… his wife was a first lady… and they had a son who also abused and aided in torturing the girl, turned young woman.  david_combs

It is horrific the sadistic things going on today… across the board among all people.

Trying to dig up some pictures for this blog… another one of those stories came to me that I could not read pass the caption at the bottom of the picture.   That posting on Facebook had to do with a 9 year old girl being gang raped.An-anti-abortion-billboar-001

I am shaking my head at these stories… they are many and they are around the world.    I pray for these children and the insanity that surrounds them on ever side.  But I guess we really shouldn’t be shocked about it all really.  Because it has always been here… we just never heard about these kinds of things so readily.

It hurts me to read stories of this nature.  I cannot understand anyone who would destroy a child or ruin them for the rest of their lives.  Little GirlBecause whether it appears to be so or not… they are ruined in some way or other… and it does impact them on many various levels… if in no other way than robbing them of their innocence.

http://www.wwl.com/Police–Houma-man-rapes-9-year-old-girl-repeatedly/18664248

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/florida-man-executed-1995-rape-killing-9-year-old-boy-article-1.1612342

I know this first hand because of my childhood past.

Oh, I wasn’t a 9 year old girl who got ganged raped.  488659-child-1357254151-374-640x480But I could have been had it not been for the grace and mercy of God.  I was being prep for it… but God interceded.  I was laid up on a kitchen table in a boarding house for some migrant workers, Hispanic men.  I do not know how old I was… but it was before I was in the 4th grade by at least a couple of years.

http://www.kvia.com/news/parents-allege-9yearold-son-raped-at-school/24572576

One day I was out playing and I heard a piano being played.  I followed the sound that was inside an abandon building across from the apartment building where we lived at the time.  Hand_Hand_opt1The man took me by the hand and lead we away into this boarding house… of course, at the time I had no idea of what was going on… or even that I was lead into a boarding house.

The man brought me into the kitchen and put me on the kitchen down laying me down with my legs hanging down off the table.  He began working on me.  He had pulled down my pants and panties and started working on by putting his finger inside of me.  And then he began to penetrate me.

http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/predators/jessica_lunsford/7.html

As soon a she got started a man opened the door and began speaking with him in Spanish.  The man quickly closed the door and man working on me stopped zipped up his pants… and he got me off the table.  He opened the kitchen door tentatively and slowly eased me out with him.  As I stepped into the hallway all I saw was a sea of heads and heard a lot of confusion.  cute-black-baby-300x199There were a ton of men all gathered around the front door of the boarding house.  They were blocking the entrance of the door while the man eased me out the back way.  But the owner of the boarding house had seen the man bring a little girl into the house and he had come to see about what was going on.  That man rescued me.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/kolkata/13-year-old-girl-kidnapped-near-Park-Street-gang-raped/articleshow/27811229.cms

I think of now knowing that God was good to me.  What I did not know as a little child is crystal clear to me now.  I was blessed.  No, it didn’t happened to me but it could have and was in the process of going to… had it not been for the Lord.beautiful_young_woman

However, the effects of it have stayed with even to now.  Growing up I always thought something was wrong with me.  It seemed that I was always being approached for sex.  I began to wonder if there was some kind of sign or something on my back.

Up until this very time I have really never had sexual relations with men.  When I got to to th2ab-the-bishop-wifecovere age where I matured a little …somewhere in my early pre-teensme resized... I determined not to have sex until after I got married and then would have a house full of children and a 2 car garage.  Funny the things you think about when you are a kid.

But it did impact me… and it has followed me all of my life.  I know the periods when I acted out.  So, there is no one who can tell me that such acts do not impact the lives of children.  Because they do… whether or not it is obvious or not.

africanamericanbabies1aLet us pray for the babies and the children, and the teens … and …and just everyone.1452460_10200798820042084_848507925_n

What happened to protecting our children?

We never used to do such vile things.

http://tribune.com.pk/story/488659/crime-against-children-9-year-old-in-critical-condition-after-gang-rape/

Biblical scripture says that when the children of  Israel emergency-dental-carefell into the sins of those around them, they began doing worst than them.  We are seeing today much of the same.  It is horrible that anyone should be doing these kind of vile things to anyone…

Well, as you can see I still get a chuckle out of my friend’s animation of me and her grabbing a bite to eat.  Bet you can’t guess which is supposed to be me.

***Please note that the pictures of the children are not those which have been preyed upon.  I merely use them to get the message across… as to how beautiful children are and their innocence should never be striped from them.***

Well, God bless…. it is Friday now and kind of wet outside.  But at least it is not snow… though 1 of my cousins called me saying they got snow.  And I hope they keep it there….  🙂

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2014




 

Add a comment March 28, 2014

JESSE JUNIOR… BISHOP PAUL MORTON RETIRING…and ANTHONY WEINER what a JERK…

I think I may have written something on this story about Jesse Jackson’s son, Jesse Jackson, Jr… the now Congressman Jackson Promotional Shots Updatesex-Senator from the State of Illinois.

When I first got wind of this story it was while watching some camera man or woman poke a microphone in front of Jesse Jackson, Sr., his father.   They were asking him about something or other and then shifted the questioning to his son.   Jesse Jr.  Jesse senior kind of smirked and said that his son was now doing much better following his rehab.

Hearing the word ‘rehab‘ I immediately believed that Jackson’s son had been in some type of auto accident or something.  And that the reason his father was smirking was because his son was pulling through his injuries with flying colors.

But I Googled the story on Jesse junior and was very surprised.  He had always looked so clean cut… spoke with such intelligence.  Who would have thought that he would have become involved in drugs… much less had become an addict?Jesse Jackson

It appears that they were trying to say that it all came about due to Jesse junior falling prey to pain pills.  ‘They’ being the Jackson family.  But for some reason it all seemed a bit deeper than that.

In my continuing to Google more information on the story I noticed the tremendous amount of weight that Jesse junior had put on during the time since last I had seen him… it seemed to me overnight.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/jesse-l-jackson-jr-set-to-be-sentenced-in-dc-federal-court/2013/08/13/ac5e8296-0452-11e3-88d6-d5795fab4637_story.html

The Bible says that what is done in the dark comes to light… and I believe that this is the case in this story.

Now, I am not 1 for throwing stones.  Goodness, no.  I don’t want to do that.  But as I was saying to a friend earlier today… this morning to be exact… as we were speaking on this story…

“Most people do not just start taking drugs later on in life.”

And they don’t.

They either got started in college or were doing it earlier somewhere during their growing up period.  But they do not just get up and start sniffing coke or shooting up crack unless they have a history of drugs somewhere in their life.

Sandi_Jackson_Jesse_Jackson_jr_500x338So, I’m thinking that all those years… which really weren’t that many… since I first became award of  Jesse Jackson, Jr…. who was not involved in politics until years after I left Chicago.  But during the brief time that I knew of him or had seen him on TV… he appeared to be so handsome… articulate… and very clean cut.  But underneath he had to had some deep dark demons … and those demons had to have been the cause of his living a double life.

Contrary to most beliefs there tons of people who live and work daily functioning on very high levels having some type of addiction.  It many times is really not a very hard thing to do.  We pay so little attention to the people around us really.

Many more people are functioning alcoholics or drug addicts than you may believe.  The same way many people are functioning illiterates… or whatever else people may be trying to hide about themselves from others.  They can function and work right beside you and you would never know anything was out of whack about them… or with them.

1-in-7-illiterate-dd1dd9d9b6f0e65f49bd1c9fe494242aI once had a young lady who worked under me.  She was promoted to an assistant managerial position before I began to notice anything… and it took a while for me to grab a hold of it.  I had forgotten our many conversations… conversations that the young lady and I had shared together, as I was an immediate supervisor to her.  But we were friendly with each other.

The conversations we had had were about her being in college… that alone would have been more than enough reason for me to never believe that she was a functioning illiterate.   She spoke about going to college and having to take these ‘remedial’ classes.  I actually had no clue as to what ‘remedial‘ classes were… but over a course of time while working with her… in her new capacity I came to find out.

When I think back on it now… I guess back then when talking about having to take ‘remedial’ classes she was trying to tell me something.  Something I had no understanding of.banner1

In New York City they have this thing called ‘social promotions.’  It is when they promote students to the next level or grade not based upon what they have learned, or having successfully fulfilled their studies… but because of their age.  And that young lady had been 1 of the unfortunate students who had suffered such a thing as that.

The young lady… she could not read.  Something I had never gathered in all my conversations with her… and certainly during any of the time she worked directly under me.  Basically because I just never had to have her read anything.  And I guess Academic-Progress-2007-2010if she needed to read something… a notification or company document or something… she found someone who read it for her.

So, it was not until the young lady was promoted to assistant manager where reading became crucial… and something that she definitely had to do in order to fulfill the job and on a regular daily basis.  But the young lady was coy… she knew how to camouflage her handicap.  As a supervisor she had people working under her, so she merely passed on the written material to 1 of them telling them to read it aloud… while she pretended to be busy doing something else.

I never found out that the young lady could not read until a worker under her came to me and told me.  I had never noticed it… never guessed it… and it certainly had never been evident to me or any of the other senior managers on that job.  But I never disclosed her secret… and she continued to functioned on her job without anyone being any the wiser except the 1 person she used to read company documents to her, who later herself was promoted.

So, yes alcoholics and people on drugs or those with any other kind of diversity can function normally and Drug-And-Alcohol-Abusequite well without those around them being any the wiser.  Unless, they start exhibiting signs of a problem.  Which does oftentimes start happening with some people.  Things like a slurring of words, staggering… missing work… having to leave work early…  appearing un-kept or unshaven… clothes unclean or smelly… not showing up for appointments… being giggly or overly loud… changes in attitude… mood swings etc… can all be signs that there is a problem.

So, whether I saw it or not I am sure that there were some around him who did.  Who saw that Jesse junior was on his way down.

When I first read the story I must say that it reminded of the Marion Berry story.  The ex-Mayor of imagesWashington, D.C. who was caught in a hotel room shooting up crack.   A similar kind of story about a politician going down due to drugs.

In mentioning that story to my friend, who had called me on the Jesse junior story… we both had to agree that Marion Berry did not just being using drugs after he became the Mayor.  No, he probably had to have had a drug problem from before that even came about, but it was on the down-low… meaning few if anybody politically connected to him knew about it.

Busted and publicly outed as a drug user Marion was yet voted back in as Mayor.  And I guess Jesse junior believed that the same thing could happen for him.

48174638_et8so-m1But it did not.  Though Jesse junior did not remove his name from the 2012 ballot for re-election… he found out that his constituents thought differently from those who voted Marion Berry back into office after having been convicted for drug use.

Recently… like just yesterday… an Illinois Judge handed Jesse Jackson, Jr. a 30 month prison conviction, and gave his wife a 12 month sentence for misappropriation of election funds from her own campaign money in her bid for State Alderman.

http://wgntv.com/2013/08/14/jesse-jackson-jr-sentenced-to-2-and-a-half-years-in-prison/

http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/14/justice/jesse-jackson-jr-sentencing

It appears that my friend who called me on the story followed the Jackson story a lot closer than I did.  She commenced to tell me that8772633_600x338 Jesse junior and his wife were involved not only in drugs, and mis-usage of campaign funds to the tune of over $750,000… but also indulged in 3-somes… and had done a lot of foolish lavish spending which ultimately lead to their downfall… and their getting caught.

It is a shame how we vote these people into public offices believing that they are going to do and represent us in honor and with integrity.  That they will be diligent in their labors and pursuits for us, as our representatives in government.  And they go off and make a fool of themselves… and oftentimes of us too.

I happened to come across a YouTube video of Bishop Paul Morton announcing that he will be turning over BishopPaulMortonIIthe reigns of the leadership of the Full Gospel Fellowship to Bishop Joseph Walker, Mt. Zion Baptist Church, Nashville, TN.  I need not tell you that I was taken aback by the announcement.  Well,  for a few reasons…

  1. I wasn’t ready for it.
  2. It shocked me.
  3. I never realized that Bishop Morton would retire.

And it must have been a shock to more than just me based upon the body language… and those who applauded the announcement… versus those who did not…  of those standing behind Bishop Morton at the time he made that announcement.

But with all of that being said… I must say that through the years I have caught the broadcast of the Bishopbishop-neil-ellis-copy-620x330 Walker… and remember that not too long ago his first wife passed and after some time he later remarried.  Beyond that I have nothing to say about him… because I know nothing else of him.

But I do wonder how this will play itself out amongst the inner circle of the current leadership of Full Gospel?

Usually the second or the third in command becomes the new head.  So, I am sure this was a big surprise all the way around.

This was a decision made by Bishop Morton… and the Full Gospel Fellowship organization being his baby… as he joewalkerorganized it and gave it birth to it… he has the right to do as he wishes.  I must say I thought it brave of him.  I do believe that it is better to have people already in place for the sake of the organization or church so that the flow of the organization is not thrown into an upheaval when the leader passes or some other drastic change comes about suddenly.

Having, however, made such a decision will lead to challenges.  There undoubtedly will be some fallout.  Everybody is not going to be satisfied.  Feelings were hurt and feathers ruffled… and there just is no getting around that when large and important decisions are made.  And especially if something goes to someone that no one may have thought it would… for whatever reason.

EddieLongLawsuitsThrough the course of time the Full Gospel Fellowship has lost some dynamic preachers.  People who went on to create their own fellowships and supposed religious dynasty’s… or desired to.  Some of whom press has not been so kind to lately due to certain events either concerning themselves or their churches… such as  Bishop Eddie dt.common.streams.StreamServerLong and Bishop Larry Trotter.  And if human nature has anything to do with it some others will probably be making an exit from Full Gospel, of this I am sure.

But I hope Bishop Walker well… and the entire congregation of Full Gospel delegates.  I would believe that Bishop Morton did not create something only to 20 years later destroy it with his own 2 hands.

http://praiserichmond.com/912757/bishop-joseph-w-walker-iii-bishop-joseph-w-walker-iii-announced-as-the-next-presiding-bishop-of-full-gospel-baptist-church/

http://www.mtzionnashville.org/dna/bishop.htmmtzoned

But there may well be some skeletons in Bishop Walkers closet.  In March of last year at least 4 women filed suit against Bishop Walker and others affiliated with his mega church for the sum of $5 million… for alleged sexual harassment, aggravated sexual battery, sexual exploitation etc…

In light of this 1 has to wonder how such an appointment could have possible come about… until at least all these allegations have been dealt with… and Bishop Walker cleared of any wrong doing?

It is certainly stated in the Bible that a Bishop should be a man without blame… and a number of other things.

http://www.atoast2wealth.com/2012/03/02/nashville-mega-church-leader-bishop-joseph-walker-sued-for-sexual-assault-by-four-women/

And as the leader of his own mega church… if Bishop Walker had not been personally involved in any wrong me resized...2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverdoings that took place at his church… just what does this, however, say about his leadership ability?

It is so odd that I should hit upon this.  Because believe me leadership is not what it used to be… either on the job… or at church.   And it is a shame.

Only time will tell what is going to be the amount of fallout …or disenchantment due to come about from Bishop Morton’s announcement to step down, and loosing the reigns of his leadership over the Full Gospel Fellowship.

Well, God bless… It’s Thursday and I am just trying to be as productive as I possibly can before the end of the weekend… where I just like to relax.  Hope you get in some relaxation this weekend too.  And the weather has highway520jpg-a8308b36b25a9a13been great.

I was out on the road last weekend.  I love to drive.  It frees my head and I enjoy in taking in the beauty of God everywhere I look.  It’s free and you should enjoy it too…

Just 1 more thing before I get out of here.  1374759296000-AP-Weiner-Mayor-1307251006_4_3

How in the world would anyone even consider voting in that sexual pervert, Weiner… into any office ever again.

The mere fact that the man would ever consider EVER running for public office EVER AGAIN has got to be a joke… much less the Mayor of New York City.

It is quite obvious that the man has a massive problem… both psychological and sexual.

Was it not enough that during the time of his wife’s pregnancy he was having it out anthony-weiner-2-440over his cell with some woman sexually, and sending her all kinds of nasty pictures of himself.  Now, to be at again… and supposedly running for office too?

I would believe if he is that sick to be doing all this virtual stuff on-line with his lower part… then he probably is out and about dipping and dappling into the real thing too.

You have got to be kidding me.  The man has no shame.  And certainly no type of consideration for his family.

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2013



Add a comment August 16, 2013

RAVEN SYMONE… GAY?????

I am sorry but I just can’t wrap my mind around it.  I may just go to my grave not believingtumblr_m9o9bz61R61r337tvo1_400 this.

Now, all of this from an ex-lesbian myself… and a person who has a friend who is FOREVER telling me how I think everybody is gay.  Well, this story proves that to be wrong.  Because I just raven-azmarie--660x400cannot believe that Raven Symone is actually gay.

Maybe she is just going through a phase.  All kids go through them…  even me.  And perhaps even you did too.

“A phase’… a time in our life when we tried different things then moved on.

Raven might well argue this point.  But time will tell.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/08/05/it-s-not-easy-for-black-celebrities-like-raven-symone-to-come-out.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/reliable-source/wp/2013/08/04/love-etc-raven-symone-quietly-comes-out/

Now, I am not saying that Raven doesn’t know her own mind.  But she lives in Hollywood.  azmarie-antm-raven-symoneNothing is real in Hollywood.  Everything is make-believe.  And maybe this might be too.

Supposedly involved in love relationship… or sexual relationship… Raven is said to be  entangled with this woman… some ‘the next top model’ woman.

Now 27 Raven clearly at this point is supposed to be a grown woman.  Least ways that is the supposed experts say.   But I ask you-

At 27 were you really all that grown?

I wasn’t.  And that is for sure.

It was not until I was 25 that I actually branched out and started to become sexually involved.  I know… I know.  I was late.  But up until that point I was pretty much in Church with my parents.   Well… not quite.  I had stopped going to church though…  but had to Raven-Symone-Childmove out first before I could.  But I had not yet hit the clubs or anything like it until a few months after I turned 25… a couple of years out of college.

This is when I started frequenting clubs… if you care to call it that.  Because I really didn’t frequent clubs… and I was never a bar person because I simply did not drink… and wasn’t going to try.  And I totally hated bars… and the kind of people who sat in them drinking most of their nights away.

In fact, when I did start going out it was to disco clubs… and yes they were gay… in New York… and Manhattan to be exact.  And I only liked clubs with all women… primarily black women.  So, that limited the places where I went.  These were places like ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’‘Shahara,’ which was kind of mixed but up-scale… etc.  I likedRaven-Symone1 up-scale… but mostly went to ‘Bonnie & Clyde’s’ because they had more black women.  In fact, they were all mostly black… mostly Afro-centric.

But as I have stated in my previous blog,s in which I have wrote on this subject on being gay… or lesbian… and/or  lesbianism.  Since I was in media… a professional radio announcer… I was undercover, as most people were in my time.  And during my time… when I was young being ‘out’ really wasn’t the ‘in-thiimage2sng’ to do.

To tell you the truth ‘outing’ yourself… or coming out of the closet… really is a evolving thing.  Though many people are now coming ‘out’ the masses, I would say have not.  There are many who feel it would hurt their image… their businesses… their law practices… their family relationships… etc…etc..

So, as they call it today… I had to be on the down-low.  Which I guess Raven is claiming to have been.. until now.   Since she recently twitted that she is gay and can now get married… though she says she has not immediate plans to do so.

cosby6bl5fbI never really hung out in town… rarely, and never became involved with anyone in my hometown. Which really was not by plan or design… it just ended up being that way.  Because when I could not get to New York… I partied in a nearby town that had tons of black women who were very attractive… upwardly mobile and were ‘in the life.’  I did that until something happened with the Warehouse… it closed down.   And then I discovered the wonders of New York City… and I do wonders.

I was 25 and the world was my playground.  At those early ages of your young adulthood… you really are just trying to find yourself.

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-raven-symone-gay-comes-out-twitter-lesbian-20130805,0,111959.story

But going back to Raven.  Having been removed from that life by some years now… and with no 500fulldesire or intentions to ever go back into it…  I always become sadden when I hear … read or see young girls who have gravitated towards a gay lifestyle.  You see them everywhere today… and it is not hard to tell them either.  And some of them appear to be quite young.

I know many who will not agree with me on this… and some will even get mad.  But that is okay… get mad.  And I really do not care who does or does not agree with me.

But I have seen the loneliness… witnessed the heartbreaks… saw the tears…  and been there myself more than a few times.  I must say this also…images

You cannot expect to be happy when you are living outside of the will of God.

There were, of course, numerous times I felt that I was quite happy while I was doing my thing ‘in the life’… that is what we called it then… besides saying ‘I’m gay’ or ‘I’m a lesbian.’  You would just say ‘I’m in the life.’

But way down deep I was not happy.  I do realize that now… but didn’t then.  And I am not saying that people cannot or are not lonely… unhappy… or do not shed tears in heterosexual life, or any blacklezother lifestyle.  But therein lies the problem.

When you live in a world that you define yourself by your sexual preference… then this means you are living to satisfy your sexual being.  In Church they call it being ‘carnal.’ 

I can clearly say that while I was in that life… sex had a hold of me.  And when I was loosed from the bondage of being gay… a lesbian… and released from desiring sex during great periods of my waking time…  I cannot 2947_raven-symone-300a100606tell you how happy I have come to be free of it all.

I now know real happiness… and have a freedom that I just cannot explain.  When I didn’t have a lover while I was in that life… man…  It was all I craved. That is because I was caught up in the sex.  Sex had a hold of me.  It controlled me.  Not in the way that I just did anything… or went to bed with just anybody.

No, I wasn’t like that.  I was never that kind of person.  But sex cb0262941certainly controlled me.

Today, I do not live defining myself sexually.  There is no need.

Why would I want to?

My life is not defined sexually.  I am greater than being just a sexual being.  Sex no longer has its control over me.  I am free.  And I walk in liberty.

A very beautiful young lady, Raven is very much grown up… and definitely seems to have her head on in the right place, and clearly very much unlike most Hollywood types.  It is my hope that if Raven Symone really is gay… and I say ‘if’ because a lot of 2ab-the-bishop-wifecoverwomen… and young girls try it.  For some it is nu-vogue… the thing to do.  To walk around telling people that they have a ‘girl-Pariah, Sundance Film Festival 2011friend.’   It is kind of a hip thing for them.

But if Raven is… I hope that it is merely just a stage in her life.  A stage that she will soon get over… and move on from it without too much pain.  And that she is fortunate enough to be discovered by a wonderful man… who will love her… become her husband, and the father to her children.me resized...

Well, I have said it.  Now, I guess I am going to hear from a lot of people who may disagree.  But that is okay… I love hearing from you all… whether we are in agreeance of not.

Well, God bless… I’m waiting on my son now who is suppose to be coming to pick me up.  So, let me just say quickly… I hope you have a beautiful rest of the week.

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2013



Add a comment August 7, 2013

JEDA and WILL… could it be coming to an end… Living in ‘the Life’ …

You would think that 1 of the hottest topics at the Atlanta Hair Show would have been about some fantastic hair-do… but it wasn’t. Way from it.

The buzz on the floor and from booth to booth was about Will Smith and Jeda Pickett-Smith.

I had long ago wrote a glowing blog about them being great role models and a beautiful couple… but who knew that all was not what it seemed?

They seemed to be the perfect couple.  Happy… and certainly with it all going on.  But who knew what dark little secrets lurked deep down within?

Who knew that it was at all as it was made to seem?

I thought them happy.  I thought them perfectly matched.  I thought that they truly loved one another.  I thought that there was nothing that could drive them apart. I thought…

Well, I thought all was well.  But it seems that it wasn’t.  And that it was far from being well.

It was my son that broke the news to me saying-

“It was all everybody was talking about.”

But who knew?

Well… I knew someone who knew… and she told me it many years ago saying-

“Awh, come on, Bern… don’t you see it. If you don’t then you are the only 1 who doesn’t.”

But I refused to accept it. But it seems that she was right… that same friend who I wrote about in my blog about the DeBarge family…  the 1 who I used to laugh with when we would giggle over, and pick fun at how sissy the DeBarge brothers all seemed.  Yeah, her…

So, I asked my son what were they saying?

And why?

And he said they got tired of having an open marriage.

I said –

“What?  What do you mean an open marriage?”

I was thinking he was talking about the usual kind of thing maybe some other woman … or possibly another man. The man part was right… but he wasn’t talking about Jeda.

It was Will.

And my son said that everybody at the hair show was talking about it.  Since the hair show was made up of a large number of gay men… I immediately began to think that this had to be true.  Because  gay men are in the know about such things as this.  And from men to women at the hair show… they were all buzzing about it.

I have yet to pull myself up off the floor behind this. Some things really do come as such a surprise… and this was 1 for me.  Though I have to say it again… my friend had told me it long ago, when Will was playing as the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.

It was something I guess I never wanted to see… and perhaps way down deep I was hoping it wasn’t so. And I STILL AM.

I really thought Will and Jeda made for a great couple. They seemed to be great parents …and they seemed to place a high value on family.

Though I wasn’t particular about their new-found religious beliefs… and how after coming into all that money they decided that they wanted to convert into becoming members of the Church of Scientology. Which struck me as a Hollywood thang… for the $20 million plus crowd. Which Will stepped into many years ago after leaping from the small screen onto the large screen… with a massive following.

It is disappointing really. But I guess we are all chased by demons at some point or other in our lives. The trick is to not allow them to consume us.  And to fight until we win… and not them.

There seems to be a rash of men and women stepping into the gay lifestyle. For some it seems to be hip…even fashionable.  But for others it is something that they have been drawn into … whether by their own fascination …or by some type of inducement… enticement… inquisitive nature … or whatever have you.  And clearly I forgot about acts of abuse as another root cause for some.

But for whatever reason it seems to be growing. Or maybe it is that it is more open. Perhaps, the latter is probably the real case.

And it seems to me that I see so many young school kids making choices at early ages about such things. And many of them… especially the girls are deep into role-playing… meaning dressing or acting out the male role.

Having come out ‘the life’… meaning having been gay myself… I cannot help but feel for them. So, I study them and watch them… and can’t seem to take my eyes off them. Because I hate to see anyone commit their lives to something that is so anti-them.

I can’t say that I hated me. But I did hate what I looked like… hated my size… and I can’t remember what else. But I never really liked me.

I never thought I was pretty or anything like that. And my interest were not really in girl-ly things.

But I never desired to be a boy… and certainly not a man. I did like that part about me.

So, I never considered role-playing as an option for me… though for most of  my relationships with women …I was designated as what would have been the male role. Because even in not playing roles… somehow you end up in them. Somebody is going to be more fem …and somebody butch. And it is because that is how life is… and we imitated life and the various categories of life as 2 people together.

But I really get disturbed at seeing so many young people gravitating towards an alternate lifestyle. And particular those who are so young… young girls and boys in the 7th or 8th grade.

CLICK.  It has just dawn on me that I was in the 9th grade when some girl first started following me around… and later began to stick letters into my locker. How quickly we forget.

I rarely think of it now. Her letters turned into phone calls when she happen to come upon my sister 1 day… telling my sister that I had given her our phone number… and that she had lost it.  So, my sister accommodated her by giving  it to her again… or so she thought.

This is when I found out that all those mysterious letters in my locker were coming from a girl. It is funny because I never ever talked to that girl face 2 face… until much later in our lives. Because for 1 thing I was afraid of her…

I was naive and had never heard of 2 women …or girls doing anything View Bernadine Smith's profile on FiledBy2ab-the-bishop-wifecovertogether. .. sexually that is. And secondly… well… I just thought that she was crazy.

Once I realized what was going on I soon began to notice that that girl used to walk pass all my classrooms.  She used to just stand there outside my classrooms looking through the glass door at me.  She also used to sneak into the 9th grade lunch… as she at the time was only an 8th grader…  and she would always sit somewhere across from me… watching me… staring at me.  It is funny how I had never noticed her before… but then I had thought it was some boy sending me all those letters.

Though the girl never tried to hurt me… or ask me to do anything sexually… I nevertheless kept my distance from her.

Believe it of not I had actually finished this blog…BUT LOST EVERYTHING BELOw THIS.   So, at some point maybe I may come back and redo it.  But not right now …or tonight it  is after 4 AM…

So, please forgive me while I get some sleep.

Well, God bless…

Thank you for reading this blog…and  my others.  Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends“pass it on…”  www.bsmith101.wordpress.com  ©2011

Add a comment August 24, 2011

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