Posts tagged ‘sexuality ‘
I’m sorry but I can definitely not agree.
I understand how the world now feels that it must agree with every whim that comes rolling along, in order to not offend anyone.
But what about what is right?
Should we forsake everything that is right in order to appease everything in this world?
I think not. And I also believe it puts this world … though it has already been… on the road to destruction long ago… but it is just edging closer and closer to it.
It appears to me that we at this moment in history …we are creating our own pitfalls and devastation.
You cannot run with everything and believe you will finish the race successfully. Somewhere along the line something falls… or everything begins to fall out of your arms. This means you loose something.
We are loosing many things these days… and it mostly boils down to primarily loosing our way as people… as a civilization …as people who live in a ‘real world.’ Not a make-believe world… anything we want to be… or anything we want it to be world. But a REAL WORLD… with REAL WORLD ORDER… standards… qualifications… variety… and variances created by God. Not by us.
God created this world order. And He created it as He would have it to be.
Can man upset world balance?
Yes, man can.
When we go tinkering with things which we should not be tinkering with problems are sure to arise. And they have.
This whole cross dressing and transgender thing is going to destroy this planet. And this thing is booming.
There is a problem which arises when we start picking and choosing what gender we decide we should be. Or maybe what gender we decide we are going to raise our children as being… like saying you wanted a boy but got a girl.
So, you arbitrarily decide you are call your girl Sam and dress her only in clothes of boys… and have her live her life as Sam. And never let her in on the fact that she is a girl… but tell and teach her as if she is boy.
So, Sally grows up believing that she is Sam. Now, this is hypothetical. I just going somewhere with this scenario.
Now, Sally did not realize until some time in school that she … or rather he (Sam) was different from all the other boys. She noticed that perhaps she looked more like a girl. Then she noticed that she had started to develop breasts. When she was in the boy’s bathroom she noticed that she was missing something that all the other boys seem to have when they peed.
But you raised Sally believing that she was Sam.
You thought that you were God. That you could create whatever you wanted your child to be. When God gave you the child He had deemed for you… a girl… not a boy.
Now, Sam is having problems at school. He is disassociating from all the other kids. He feels that he does not fit in. He feels different.
Most of us grew up feeling different. Many of us grew up feeling like we didn’t fit in. These are natural emotions for kids to go through… except for those who happen be popular and always seem to be in the midst of plenty of people who rush to be with them.
But you weren’t 1 of them. When you look into the mirror you see somebody else. You feel like if you could be somebody else… that then you would be happy. Maybe you wish you were your sister or brother or a different sex. Or your mom or dad. And you begin to become that someone else.
Kids are always pretending… and playing make believe. But when does this become something else for some kids or teens… or even adults?
It becomes something else as long as you harbor or meditate of being that different person… that you begin to fantasize yourself to be. And after a while you meet up with someone… because it only takes 1 mixed up and highly confused person to send you on a trip you may never come back from… a trip to convert yourself into a fantasy you.
It is all make believe. Because we are who we are… and there is no changing it no matter how many pills are taken. How deep the voice may get… or how much facial hairs you get… or breasts you develop. You really can’t change you.
Oh, outwardly yes. But inwardly… no. And that inside person who really determines who you truly are. And it goes beyond your DNA… and THAT you definitely cannot change.
So, you change your name, your driver’s license, your city or town… and the pretense really begins. Because you are looking for a fresh start as this ‘new you.’
Though you may be able to deceive many people. The issue is… how long can you keep up the pretense. Because everyday you step out the door pretending to be who you were not born to be is really just a pretense… and you will never ever be able to get away from that.
What I find interesting is how in the world do people who go through all this really believe that becoming …or attempting to become another gender means that they are not gay?
Do they not want to engage in sexual activity with someone of the sex they are pretending to no longer be?
Then how can this not be gay behavior?
Oh, because you now associate yourself as the opposite sex… and call yourself ‘he’ rather than ‘she’… you believe that you automatically became the ‘he’ or ‘she’ you wanted to be?
Do not deceive yourself. It is all a charade. And the only 1 who got fooled was you.
Men who want men… are not going to go for a man who becomes a woman. Because if they wanted a woman they could get a ‘real’ woman… not some one pretending to be 1.
Women who love women… might like a dyke looking woman… many like that … but not all. But if a woman wanted a man, do you not believe she could find herself a ‘real’ man… and not someone playing and eating pills to be 1?
And therein lays the problem for these people who get these sex changes. They discover that that fantastic change that they were hoping for … that was going to make them happy ever after because they were now who and what they felt they had truly been born to be… wasn’t the happy every after that they hoped it would be.
Come on wake up.
So, no I’m not in agreement to the Boys Scouts of America allowing transgender girls into the scouts. Because primarily… because these girls are still girls. Down beneath they still have their vagina.
So, what happens if out on the trail a couple of over zealous boys decide to teach her a thing or 2?
As quietly as it is kept in the military this is quite an issue. Female women in the military get raped… and this happens in large numbers. Female girls on campuses get raped… and this too happens in large numbers… as much as most campuses try to squash it from getting out.
It is a reality.
And why would any girls really want to put herself through watching a bunch of boys with ranging hormones …taking a leak.
And no, I am not into transgender bathrooms either.
And I do not believe I have to go along in order to get along.
I will not forsake my core principles in order to make other people happy. I just cannot do it.
Do you really want me to become a liar by calling him ‘she’ when I know that he is not
I can’t go to hell trying to play other people’s games. I am sorry… and I mean you no
harm. But just do not ask me to play.
And I do not believe in being politically right… when politically right goes against my religious right to not lie… or condone lying or stealing… or deceiving… or fornicating… or adultery … and you know the rest. I just cannot.
So, don’t ask me. Because I have enough things that I may have to answer for of my own without me playing your game …adding to my list…
Now that I have addressed my thoughts on this subject please enjoy the rest of your week. And I know that I’ll get a few responses on this… but that’s is okay.
We are not all going to agree. But 1 thing is for sure we trying to agree on too many things… when most people who play like they agree really do not. So, at least I am honest. And I am not a hater… but a firm believer that the truth is the truth… and hopefully because I spoke truth somebody will be set free…
And anyone… so-called parent who does this thing purposely to their child or children really should be arrest for child abuse. Because they putting their child into the pit of hell… and creating for them a life that cannot lead them to any form of happiness by playing something that they are not.
Do not ruin the life of your child by making them a transgender child. One thing when a person who is old enough to decide certain things for themselves. And quite another when crazy parents do it to their children.
Well, God bless… I’m out. Thanks for reading my blogs. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2017
Add a comment January 31, 2017
His name is B. Scott and he classifies himself as being androgynous… kind like what Michael wanted to be… somewhere between being male and female.
I have seen few people who have pretended to be as happy as B. Scott pretends like he is. When I was in ‘the life’ I thought I was happy too. But I never pretended like I was over joyed with it. Over a period of time I just came to accept it… which I guess if you finally settle upon ‘this is who I am’ you tend to do. You just start to kind of accept it. Which is what B. Scott said he finally came to do.
Though I have seen thousands of gay guys and women who acted like they were super dupper happy being gay. I had also seen them …many of them in the tears because they wished they could be like everyone else.
When I watched this video on YouTube by B. Scott… the 1 below… it really prompted me to write this blog. Because there were a few things that he said that really gave me insight as to who he is… and why.
(I’ve got to find the right video) But in the YouTube video B. tells of how people used to say to him when he was a little boy, ‘You so pretty you should have been born a girl.’
In hearing that it made me think of my son, who at the age of 13… 1 day broke down and started crying saying to me that I would never be a grandmother. Then he said that he must be ‘gay’ because everyone told he that.
How could I defeat what he was saying?
At the time I was not saved. I was speechless and did not know what to say. I was shocked.
I must confess to being 1 of those gay mothers who was seriously homophobic… terribly. But I never pushed my thoughts nor my fears over onto my son. Well, I hope not… certainly never intentionally. But there was a period in my life when he could nothing right. I hollered at him about everything. I did not realize that I was doing that though until a woman who was part of my film shoot on my short film… a niece to Florida of ‘Good Times’… pointed it out to me and talked to me about it. She said, ‘Why are you always yelling at him?’
I never realized that I did. But I am glad she brought it to my attention. I might have drove my son away… but thank God that did not happened. That big headed boy took me out to dinner last night… to very expensive sea food restaurant that we both like. But I do not love him because he treats me to thing… or buys me stuff… I love him because he is ‘my son.’ And I thank God for him.
I had never heard anyone call him that… that word… ‘gay.’ Though I think they were careful not to do so while I was around… as I would not have liked it. Though I must say that at an early age I started to feel like I was seeing certain signs of it. But here is where I want to tell you how the devil works.
You are not seeing anything that the devil has not put in your mind. Your young children know nothing about sex… but the devil will toy with your brain and make you believe you are seeing things which are not there.
You don’t believe me????
Let me share with you this. One night while in my apartment in downtown Brooklyn…. as I was leaving the living room to go towards my bedroom I looked down at the floor. Upon looking down I saw the floor was covered with large water bugs everywhere. I mean swarming with them everywhere. I quickly looked up and said to myself, ‘the devil is a liar.’
I don’t know where that came from… but that is what I said. Then I looked back down at the floor and there were no water bugs anywhere. It had all been a figment of my imagination… brought about from the devil knowing that I had a fear of those things. Which came about by the fact that occasionally I would see a water bug in my apartment… something that my landlord refused to believe.
But that night the devil had decided that he was going to drive me mad… meaning crazy by presenting to me a ton of those horrible things crawling all over my apartment floor around me… and they covered my entire apartment floor. But I did not go crazy. God kept my mind… because He did not let me fall for it. I merely shut my eyes for whatever reason… (as I did not know it was God’s doing at the time)… I just started believing that they were not there. You would have had to seen them. They were so real.
This is how I know that people can see things… which look as real as anything you can touch or feel… and it not really be there. It was just something that the devil presented to me… and had made it appear real to me because he knew I was afraid of those things. Of which New York seems to me have quite a few of them.
The woman in the above link killed her 4 year old son because she believed he was gay. The devil truly had her mind that she would have done such an insane thing. But he does and can plants seeds in your head… and make you see and hear things which are not really there. And if you are not careful… and you let them take root in you… you will believe what the devil has planted and will act out in whatever way he wants you to.
What does having a jump rope in your hand have to do with being gay?
So, what if a little boy wants to jump rope. It does not mean he wants to grow long hair and become a girl.
But my friend did not realize that she was planting seeds… that 1 day would grown into just what she was asking for.
I had wanted to badly to tell her that what she and other members in her family were doing to him in regards to calling her grandson a ‘girl’… or saying to him had some ‘girl in him’ was wrong. But I knew they would not listen to me… so I did not. But now in hindsight I realized I should have tried …if for no other reason other than for her grandson’s sake.
We must speak LIFE to your children. And do not let anyone speak DEATH to them… not even in joking. Calling your boy child a girl is speaking death to him… or your girl child a boy. Don’t do it. Encourage them to have fun… let them enjoy themselves as children without you putting all your own sexual hangups upon them.
So, when I watched and listened to the above video of B. Scott I realized just how he had come to be and why. I understand him… not so much because of what my son had said to me. But because I understand how little children can become confused as to who they are if people keep pushing them in some other direction by saying ignorant things to them that makes them believe what people are saying about them. And I guess that does kind of fit directly with what my son had said to me.
My entrance into ‘the life’ was very different… it had nothing to do with anyone calling me a ‘boy.’ Because frankly I never looked like 1… nor did I ever want to be 1. Though I wasn’t much of a baby doll playing little girl either. I don’t think I tried climbing trees… but I did try my hand at trying to fix a couple of things when I was young.
But being the oldest my youth was superseded by my having to learn how to do things at an early age… like washing dishes. I do not know how old I was when my father pushed a chair up to the kitchen sink… but that was the beginning of my years of me being our family dishwasher. Then I was taught how to cook… and the list goes on and on…
I was introduced to sex at a very early age. Not via any family members but outside of our home. Only twice had it happened. But it happened before I had a voice or knew I had a voice or any idea of what was happening. That is not to say I was an infant. I was just a very young innocent child of maybe 6…7… or 8. And the 2 times it happened they happened at varying times… not close or together. Maybe a year or so apart… can’t remember that part.
I made mention on 1 of the times in 1 of my other blogs not so long ago. It was a time that I almost got gang raped… but God said ‘no.’ That was the first time that someone took advantage of me. But those 2 experiences marked my life forever… and how I think and feel about people who take advantage or abuse children.
But contrary to what many people may say or think… sexual preference many times may not have anything to do with what you were indoctrinated to… or let me say it this way first introduced to sexually.
Though I have spoken to many gay guys and they had the opposite experience… and some women too. It did lead them into a life of homosexuality. And a lot of times it happened to them with someone who took advantage of them sitting in some position in the church… lived in their apartment building… was a close friend to their mother or father… and ‘yes’ even sometimes it was a relative… or a daughter or a son of the 1 their parent’s friend. One of my times was such a case as that. My mother must have known… as she never went to visit that friend ever again.
But going back to this guy B. Scott in watching his videos I felt sorry for him… because I understood him in ways that many people will never get to. And I also recognized his gaiety… or supposed happiness… really to be his sadness.
Love you, B. Scott. And hoping that 1 day God will do a work in your life like he did in mine. I hope the same for my son…. and the many sons and daughters dealing with identity problems… issues… or sexual confusion.
And I hope your laughter and smiles will become ‘real’… and turn into a joy that surpasses all understanding 1 day.
And that 1 day you will look into a mirror and see how really handsome you are… and start loving the ‘real’ you’ and not that the ones who were agents of devil told you were… but who God really made you to be.
Well, God bless…. I am really supposed to be doing something else right now. But I just wanted to take the time to do this blog really quickly. I hope that it falls upon fertile ground…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2014
2 comments April 17, 2014
During the middle of this week, I was out with my son and one of his little friends. As I got into my son’s truck I noticed that she wasn’t her usually jovelle self. I never got a clue until my son said to her over the course of our dinner-
“Oh, don’t start crying.”
To which she responded-
“I can’t help it.”
Shortly thereafter, her cell phoned rang and she answered it. That is when I overheard what the problem was.
She began saying-
“Oooh, boobie. If you take yourself from me…I want be able to hold you. And do for you like I want to…You know how I like to hold you…and yeah cook for you. If you remove yourself I can’t hold you and do that any more.”
I was on the verge of bursting out in laughter because she sounded ridiculous.
In essence, she was begging him to not drop her.
Now, I am not a mean spirited person…but you would’ve had to heard that conversation.
I do not think I could have ever wanted somebody…any humanily body…that bad in my life. Well, maybe I have…
I have been in my share of relationships…but I have never in my life brought myself to begging any one of them to staying with me.
Yes, as hard as it may seem. I have been kicked to the curb more than a few times. And yes, it did hurt. But I never ever begged.
I won’t say that there may have been a time or 2 that I might have liked to have begged. But I didn’t do it.
I have never dropped anybody in my life. But I have been dropped. I do know the pain of being dropped and yet trying to hold on. Believe me…I know it well.
But I never begged.
In my wisdom now…I will tell you this.
Anybody you have to beg to keep is not worth trying to hold on to. And no matter how much you beg…eventually they are going to leave you anyway. So, let them go from the on-set of whatever the situation is and they start telling you it is over. And get on with the mourning process.
Because in the end…you are going to end up mourning it anyways.
So, better to start now rather than later…because you would be just putting it off. And it will certainly be just as painful…if not more.
When somebody wants to leave you…they have their reasons. And unless there is some type of benefit to staying with you…then they’re gone. They may come back for a little while…but sooner or later they will be gone for good.
So, release them and let them go now. Soon enough you will be mourning over the next one.
As I stated in another one of these blogs…I had never been in type of relationship until I was 25 years old. And I have also told you that… I have never dated. Well… any boys… or men. As sometime after becoming 25, I did what they called…‘came out as a lesbian.’
I would say that I never really ‘came-out’ per-se. As my profession wouldn’t let me…that is to say…because I was popular as a radio announcer I never presented myself as being openly gay. Then, of course, there were my parents…and I would have never done anything to embarrassed them. And I did not mind keeping my life to myself…and among my close friends. It was, after all, my life.
I never felt that I had to go around telling everyone what it was that I did in the bedroom…nor I was interested in what other people did in their’s…just as long as it did not involve children.
At any rate, most of my relationships during that period of my life only lasted for about 6 months or under. Once I becamed involved with someone it always seemed to me as though it could not get past 6 months. Finally, one did…because she was determined to be the one to do it. She had told me that on several occasions…that’s how I know. It lasted for all of 9 years…but even then she could only take but so much of me. And finally, she too…kicked me to the curb.
I must say that I did not mind when it happening…but what hurt was how it happened. The relationship had began to turn several years prior…and we had evolved into more or less just being friends. And I could live with that…that is why I didn’t mind that she left…exited my life…and fnally kicked me to the curb.
She was exceedingly beautiful, and perhaps one of the smartest persons I had ever met. She was well read and well versed on every subject…truly. And there was one other thing about her.
She saw in me something that I never saw. And she was always telling me that she saw where I was going to be…and that she was not going to let me embarrassed her once I got there.
So, she was always correcting me…polishing up my speech…reading over my text…pointing out business fawls…and huge personality gafts in me. I must say that without her…I would not be half of what I am today businesswise or otherwise. God took that situation and used it for His good.
But eventually…yes, even she kicked me to curb.
But I never begged.
That relationship had become a bit toxic for me. But as I had never really been in any other long term relationship… and because of my own nature… though I wanted out… I couldn’t say it. So, I’m happy that she ended that relationship for me.
There are just some things perhaps… that I will never be good at. And I think that this is one of them…kicking somebody to the curb.
I can take it…but I don’t think that I could ever dish it out. But nobody better test me on it…because I am not all that forgiving.
Some people, however, are masters at it. But not me.
But thank goodness when it is over…and you have finally gotten over it. As a rule my mourning process…was always for a 2 year period. And many times at the end, I found myself wondering what it was that I had seen in that person in the first place. Except for, of course, the person with whom I was with for 9 years.
Yes, I got over it. Which is usually done by finding someone else.
Isn’t that always the way?
It can really speed up that process.
You lament somebody…until you find somebody new.
I have found…that through those years…having always been the one who was kicked to the curb. I have found…that usually when I got over it…I was over it. I do not look back…but there had been some laments. But It was not on my part.
Time does it, I think. People often have a tendency to look back and wish they hadn’t done something.
So, move on.
Forget about Boobie.
Can anyone you’ve given such a horrid nickname to really be that good?
I think not. And certainly not enough worth begging for.
As I listened to that girl…and if you want me to say…young lady…I could not help but be thankful to God…I no longer go through anything like that any more.
God is good.
Well, I just love Obama.
And yes, he was right to fire whomever that was who thought it was a good idea to fly Air Force One into the protected air space over the Statue of Liberty.
Of course, it was going to bring back memories of 9/11.
And yes…people would believe that New York City was again under attack.
How could they not?
That was the exact same air space…which every New Yorker knows is protected air space…that those airplanes flew over that hit the World Trade Center causing the earth to shake…the buildings to fall…people to jump for their lives…dark clouds of heavy smoke, suet and human ashes…amid streets of rumble …bodies… much havoc… and panic.
That day will never be erased from the minds and hearts of every New Yoker. It was one of the most horrible days that I can remember.
It was a day of much confusion and panic… because no one knew exactly what was going on. Many believing that the world was coming to an end…or that someone had declared war upon us…the darkness that fell upon New York that day left an undelible mark across the world…and particularly among those in New York City…and the tri-state area that will never be removed throughout the history of this country.
And all for a photo op?
That person had to be insane.
I am happy that Obama is letting those who work for him…know that he is no joke. And that he is going to demand from them that they operate as professional and thinking…rational people. And never dare to do anything that might embarrass him.
Got up late today…after 12 noon and do not know what time I finally went to bed…though I laid down thinking I was only going to stretch out for a few minutes. Yes, I am still trying to put the finishing touches on my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, and the promo for youtube.
Well, it is getting closer…and closer to that time. And I can’t wait.
And as a final note…please do not let me be anywhere and overhear any conversations of yours. I do not easedrop…and I do not like getting all up into people’s business. I really do not want to be a party to it…but if you are going to sit up around me and put your business all out in the street. I just might formulate an opinion on it.
Well, enjoy your weekend.
And you know something else…after looking at that first picture of the Statue of Liberty…that is not a woman.
Which reminds me of another time my son took me out this past week…with yet another friend of his. For most of time we sat at that table eating…we were debating whether or not our waitress was a man or woman. I had never noticed anything…and had always felt she was a woman.
But it was my son’s friend who began that whole controversy. And at the end finally I had to concede after taking a more indepth study of the person…arms in particular…that yes it was a man. But she was nice anyway…not matter what. And she…well, he did his job well.
Which reminds me of yesterday, while waiting around in the salon…I happened to overhear a conversation between a young girl and I guess…maybe her aunt or somebody related to her.
The girl was probably no more than 10 or 12. She was disclosing to the older person how someone in her class was talking about her…and calling her ‘gay.’
It made me think of that 11 year old boy who had hung himself and it was reported that he had done so because some kids or one of the other boys at his school was doing the exact same thing…calling him ‘gay.’
I think that it is sad…that such burdens are placed upon children today.
Back when I was going to school…kids taunted you by calling you ‘fat’…or ‘scary cat’…or ‘chicken.’
It is a shame that all these sexual labels and stigmatisisms are placed upon them…these children…teens…pre-teens etc… at such early ages…when it is hard enough just trying to go to school and get through your school lessons.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
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Add a comment May 9, 2009
It should be of no surprise to anyone when Palin recently announced that she had considered aborting her infant son after being told that he was going to be a child with Down Syndrome. As I wrote in an earlier blog on Palin…the mere fact that she did not tell her family about being pregnant…then her flying off to conferences and the like while knowingly being aware that she was leaking her amniotic fluids…the baby’s lifeline…signaled that she not only thought about it. But Sarah Palin was attempting to administer in a very real way…her own form of birth control…or abortion…if you will…you take your pick.
When I initially read that story about the leaking fluids and Palin…I immediately knew exactly what she had been attempting to do. No loving or caring mother would have jepardized her unborn child like that. But Palin did…and just like she did this past week…she turned the story around to make it appear as though she had done some great and humane thang…because the baby had survived. And was born…a thing she has been trying to capitalize on every since.
Oh, they roared and cheered for Palin…as she did what she has always done…and I guess may have even gotten better at doing now that she has had so much practice doing it…got out seeking her own personal fame at that right-to- life banquet where she made her wonderful disclosure. What she called…”for a fleeting moment“…that she had considered having an abortion upon hearing the news that her son was going to be born with Down Syndrome. I doubt that it was anything but for ‘a fleeting moment’ that Palin considered that thought. I am more of a mind to believe that she actively and intentionally sought to do it…in her own little way. But it just was not to be…and it was not for a lack of trying.
Palin seems to be a master at pulling that old quasi-Mid-Western/Alaskian thang to con people into believing her to be some king of super mom/woman…and thinking that she is either just a joke…a fool…or some kind of saint. With most of the Republicans eager to believe the latter no matter what. She definitely believes she has got ’em fooled. And every chance she gets…Saint Palin keeps popping up in the news…for one thing or another. She is not intent on allowing anybody to forget who she is. Ambition…is something.
Saint Palin is at it again…and she is willing to use everything and anything it takes…to keep herself in the forefront…with her eye steady on the White House with a hope for her 2012 run straight into the Presidency. What a joke. I think…not. Saint or no Saint…Palin.
There was something about seeing that woman’s picture that you just knew she had done some insane sort of thing. But what…you could not imagine. But you knew it was deep…and going to be disturbing. And it was.
I cannot remember having ever read before where a newspaper article stated that some woman was arrested for raping anyone. That woman in that picture…the one with that crazed…insane look…whom I could not imagine what she had done…nor did I want to think about it. Because if you have gotten anything out of reading these blogs by now…it is this. That I hate these kind of stores. I am greatly disturbed by them. There are some things which haunt me for days…so I try not to read them… particularly…crimes against children.
Most of the time I turn away and resist reading such stories. Because I simply cannot take the thought of such things…it bothers me greatly. And for days if not much longer these things linger in my mind and in my heart.
I cannot for the life of me…understand it.
Why would someone want to hurt a little child?
What pleasure is gotten out of abusing a child sexually…or any other way?
What kind of woman would have done such a thing?
What is gotten from robbing the innocence from the innocent?
How can you do such a thing without being greatly troubled?
And troubled she was…that woman. You saw it in her picture posted all over the web and I guess all in the news. She looked deranged…insane…besieged by demons…plagued by satanic spirits…and forces. And she was.
The story is horrible. She had been a Sunday school teacher…and yet she had done something I had never heard said of any woman before…she raped.
A little girl who played with her own little girl…who had come looking for her playmate…the woman’s daughter. And this bewildered woman…locked deep in the satanic lust of her mind…laid hands upon her, that little gir…and took her….and performed acts upon her that were unspeakable. And we pray…killed her before she began to dismember her…stuffed her into a suitcase…and then threw her into an irrigation ditch.
What was going on in that woman’s mind?
How long had she been wrestling with the demons which were chasing her?
Had she done other acts…this Sunday school teacher?
It is hard to believe that there were not signs.
What kind of place is this town Tracy, California?
What kind of evil town is it that suddenly such evil is prevailing itself upon it…within its walls?
Could it be like one of those evil cities sited in the Bible?
Could there be such places where evil just abounds?
There can…and Tracy, CA proves it.
The article read that a few months earlier…a young teenage boy with shackles…emaciated…tortured…and weak…somehow managing to get away ran away from those who had kidnapped him and held him hostage…begging , “Hide me…please. Hide me.”
What kind place is this Tracy?
Is it like the city that Lot lived in?
Where he sat upon the fence watching as the acts of sin that were carried out before him.
What kind of time are we living in?
What is going on?
Could this be last days and time?
A few years ago I was listening to the radio and a story came up over the airwaves about this farm. At this farm the people checked in like it was hotel…and they went there to have sex with the animals. They were into beastiality. It too…was a horrifying story. It turned my stomach.
Who would think that such a place existed?
But if there was one…there has to be others.
What kind of people are these?
I was sick to my stomach hearing that story. I am sick now thinking about it…and the other stories which I have heard or know about…including all of this murdering. And all this murdering of young children.
One night while at a Sala Soul Sister’s meeting in New York…down in the Village at the Gay and Lesbian Center…a young woman came and gave a discussion. I had not known what she was going to talk about until she was introduced and began to speak. I had noticed that she was indeed very attractive and she was dressed fashionably in this leather vested outfit. It was her wardrobe which really gave a clue…but I was naive. I knew nothing on the subject…but I came to know an awful lot about the subject as she began to share her story with us.
She had just reached 50 years old…and I would not have guessed that. And she expressed how angry she was that none of her friends had shared with her anything about the lifestyle she was currently involved in. She even went as far as saying-
“I had to wait until I was 50 before anybody told me about this. And I am so mad.”
You want to know what her story was…don’t you?
Some of you already know…because of what I said about her dress.
She was involved in S&M…bondage.
Once I came to understand what she was talking about…I began to feel really sorry for this woman. She looked corporate to me…but I would have never have guessed that she was involved in anything adverse…much less S&M.
I had never met or talked to anyone involved in such a thing. But I knew immediately like that woman with that crazed looked upon her face…the Sunday school teacher…that this woman too was lost. She spoke of some restaurant in New York City…saying that after a certain hour at night all the doors are locked and everybody inside there engages in acts of S&M.
I was shocked that such a place as that existed in New York…or anywhere else. And a restaurant?
That woman was so deep into that life…that sub-culture of S&M that as I watched and listened to her…I knew she was not going to be coming out unless something miraculous happened to her. She was deep into it…and she loved it. She marveled in it…that life…and what she was doing in it. She spoke of that lifestyle with such passion that it was frightening to me just listening to her. Just to know that somebody could be so taken with something…so…so… so….contrary to life.
I do not know if I ever went back to another Salsa Soul Sisters meeting after that. That had to be one of my last meetings. I was appalled by it. And most of the other women there…at that meeting with me…they seemed to be enchanted and intrigued by the lifestyle. But I found nothing intriguing or enchanting about someone tying me up or handcuffing me to anything and then beating me or bringing out a whip to take it to inflict me with pain. Nor could I see anything sexually arousing in that. It was satanic to me…and no one was going to tell me anything different. And I was angry because my other Salsa Soul Sisters seemed interested in trying it out.
I am so glad that God gave me a mind of my own…another kind of mind. A mind to know what I was willing to accept and the things I was not…and not being swayed from my stance. I am happy that there has always been things that I have said ‘no’ to…and meant it.
How do you allow yourself to sink into all kinds of mess?
How do you allow yourself…your mind to become absorbed in all kinds of foul thoughts and actions?
I am not a fool. I am not going to try everything…1 time…to see. There are many things in this life that I have known that I did not have to try in order for me to determine…yes…o r no from the very on-set.
There is a culture of people who whether it be drug abuse…sexual abuse…child pronography… homosexulaity… beastiality… S&M…or some other adverse…or perverse behavior…they have entered into it willingly.
I will never forget how a woman…a black woman…out of the clear blue sky began telling me about how she used to have sex with her dog. This was somebody I knew…well, I knew her somewhat. I did not know what made her divulge such a thing to me. But it made my skin crawl. I wanted to run out of her presence and get away from her. It was sick.
I do not know what season we are living in…but it is sick.
It is corrupt.
I cannot understand it. But it is all Biblical.
The Bible says-
“That there is nothing new under the sun.”
It also says-
“For their sins are great.”
But how can people do what they are doing…to themselves…or to others?”
I am really troubled by the above stories…but I will try to end on an up note.
The Obama’s mutt in my opinion is ugly. But he or she seems friendly enough. So, perhaps Obama’s daughters will be quite happy with their new mutt. But it really looks like the First Mom is going to have her hands full with their new little addition.
I am just not an animal person…as you could read by the story above.
But I do not see what all the flax is about…as to whether he…or she came from a rescue center or not. It is just not all that important…while so many young children are loosing their lives behind all of this insanity. There is just so much more to concern ourselves with.
I have been tired…tired…tired all week.
To start with…I never got out of the hairdresser until after 3 AM on Sunday morning. Then I wanted to go to early morning service…which meant I dared not go to sleep following my leaving the hair salon. Because I knew I would probably not wake up until some time later that afternoon.
So, I stayed up as best as I could…and once I got past that. I then realized that if I went home and went to sleep before regular Sunday service…that I was definitely not going to get up. So, again I elected not to go home…so that I would not go to sleep.
I never hit the bed on Easter until some time after 5 PM. But it was fun. I spent it with family…the young up and coming legacy of my parents. And I enjoyed every minute of it…even though I was quite sleepy.
I did managed to peel some apples for a couple of apple pies. And the food was good…and there was plenty of laughter. But through it all I was tired.
So, all this week I have been paying for not having gotten any sleep on Saturday…by being tired my entire week. I am so happy that it Friday. Now, I can stay in and get some much needed sleep without feeling guilty for the next 2 days.
One other thing before closing…no matter what the reasoning of that Sunday school teacher. There can be no excuse for what she did to that little girl.
Goodnight…and enjoy your weekend.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends…
“pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
2 comments April 18, 2009
I was shocked when I read this story in Vibe magazine. I would have never realized the things that they were going through…and had gone through as they were all growing up. It is a shame some of the things that many children are forced to endure. There is little wonder why some have such anger and rage years later. On the surface who would have thought what hidden darkness they had locked within. Family secrets can be some of the worst kind of secrets.
They were one of the hottest family groups along with the Jackson’s to emerge from Motown. It is funny how success usually is often rooted in so much pain, sorrow and personal sadness.
A large family of 8 boys and 2 girls… Bunny, El, Randy, Mark and James made up the DeBarges, the Motown singing group, who left home from Detroit by way of Grand Rapids, Michigan to LA in search of success… but they were haunted by many sad memories that perhaps they had been trying to escape…but found that they couldn’t.
Two other members of the family made up part of the group called Switch which was also hot during the early 80’s, Bobby and Tommy.
Tortured by the deep dark secrets they all shared and carried into their success in the 80’s, they were colored by a past that ultimately claimed most of their lives. Their lives have been left shattered…and though the church could not and did not help shield them from the events that were taking place in their home as very young children…but over time some have found healing and renewing in God.
You can read the full story below. It is sad…and painful to read.
When I think of the times that a friend and I used to rush home to catch them being showcased on TV shows, and how we used to laugh at them. Though we loved their music and them…it always struck us, me and one of my friends, that the boys…were well rather ‘sweet.’ And I am shamefully sorrowful of that now.
We should not poke fun or laugh at others. And I will not blame it upon my youth nor on the lack of proper home training.
I never laughed at people with disabilities but I have seen people who have…and I have seen them do it openly as I was growing up. These people, of course, were not in our family…because my parents were not that kind of people. Plus they would not have ever allowed it of us. Nor did they indulge in gossiping or talking or laughing about anyone. Yes, they would occasionally chuckle about things. But they were never mean spirited or degrading people, nor did they find fault with people or talk or laughed about anyone.
I laughed at those boys, fine as they were but yet so effeminate…I found humor in that.
Should we laugh at such things and pick fun at people?
No. We should not.
And I regret having ever done it…which is why I am writing this blog.
I have never liked preachers doing such things as finding humor at the expense of gay people. It seems that within the church everything else is sacred accept poking fun and making jokes about gay people. They do not do that with any other sin…prostitution, lying, stealing, murdering…none of these things find their way into a Sunday morning sermon or any other time…as a joke.
Then why should they find it okay to make jokes about gays, lesbians or homosexuals?
And really the church is loaded with… Well, it is loaded with some of everything. And a lot of times from the top to the bottom…somebody is doing something which they should not be doing or acting out in ways which are not Godly.
And I am not trying to come down on the church or incite a war of words. But the church is full of everything. It was true in Jesus’ time and it is still very true today. The church is even full of predators. Not so long ago at least 10 Priests in the upper North East, the Massachusetts…Boston area were found quilty of such acts…leaving in their wake hundreds of very shattered and broken lives.
In Connecticut a preacher impregnated a 12 year girl that he had been routinely been engaging in sexual intercourse with. Since she was 12 when she had the baby…she had to be 11 or maybe 10 if not younger when he first got started.
This was the plight of the DeBarge children.
Without a doubt there should be some level of sensitivity with regards to making jokes that are belittling and unkind to anyone at any time. And particularly any jokes about all those lost in sin… any sin. The church is suppose to loving and giving in spirit. Yet, it is sanctuary for all types of activity as well.
Once well sitting in the choir as a young teen…I was seated beside this boy. His father was preaching less than…I don’t know…less that 4 or 5 feet away. And this boy produced from under his choir robe his…….. and tried to pulled my hand across to touch it. I at the time did not quite understand anything about erections or anything else. But that was what he had…and his father was preaching right there beside us as his son did this one Sunday morning…in front of the whole church. It is hard for me to believe that no one sitting in the church that Sunday saw our exchange as we were seated on the front row of the choir facing outward…must less seeing what he had in his hand.
Nor, will I ever forget the night I dropped this woman home following church service that night…and this was not so very long ago. As I pulled in front of her building and she was about to get out of my car she suddenly turned to me and kissed me in a way no woman had ever kissed me before. And having come out of lesbianism…that should
speak volumes as to how and the way this woman kissed me. But I didn’t say anything. I didn’t respond. She got out and I drove home determined to not even think about what that woman had just done. And I didn’t.
I didn’t think about it…for a couple of reasons. For one thing because I didn’t want to dwell on that kiss. For another reason I just did not want to obsess about it. I felt it was a trap…orchestrated by the devil to try to lure me back into a life I had now left behind. And I was not going to fall for it. So, I shoved that kiss and that woman aside in my mind…and never bothered to linger there thinking about it…now or then.
But the church is full of a lot of things…like whoremongers, adulterers , liars etc. None of which I see any humor in…as all sin is sin and shameful. But for some reason people in the church really like to poke fun and laugh about gay people…and no one seems to find that to be offensive…but me it seems.
It is almost as though it is open season on gays in most churches while all else is taboo as something to joke about. None of it should be something to joke about. Perhaps it is that none of them were ever gay…or maybe they just do not want to confess to it. But there must be some reason for this.
Here were these children, the DeBarges, growing up in the church and such nasty things were going on in their own home from the earliest of ages. And I laughed at them when they finally hit the stage and started performing.
They were the most beautiful family of siblings…as were those Jacksons.
And in case you do not understand what ‘fine’ means when used here this way…it means that they were fantastically handsome, terribly good looking etc…etc…etc…
But those boys acted so gay.
I didn’t try to figure it out…I didn’t try to see anything other than that. And it struck me as being humorous…and that is as sad as whatever else they had to go through…if not more so. That we should all be so small…especially me…to have thought that that was humorous.
I sincerely apologize for that now. Not just because I now have a part inkling of their story, affliction and pain that they were forced to suffer…but because it was wrong of me to do so in the first place. And particularly because of all the misery and heartaches they have all had to come through and to have to bear in their lives very young children.
I cannot imagine how hard it is for a child to grow up having a father who is a predator…and using his own children sexually for most of their years growing up.
In August of 1996, Bobby DeBarge at the age of 39 died after years of alcohol and drugs abuse. He died from complications AIDS related. He was named after his father, Robert Louis DeBarge, a man who frequently sexually abused his own children beginning very early in their childhood. Bobby was a multi-talented song writer, lead singer and musican. In 1988 both he and his younger, Chico, were arrested for attempting to traffic drugs, they served 6 years in prison.
In October of this year, 2008, El DeBarge was back in court on more drug charges, vandalism and domestic violence. Though for many years El was able to not fall prey to the demons chasing him, as well as, his other sisters and brothers…but following Bobby’s death and other family issues, El too soon fell to the demons chasing them all.
Update on EL: I was very happy to see El last week when he emerged on the Soul Train Music Awards Show. He looks absolutely great… and he sounded great too. I am happy for him. Trying to pull your life back together is not an easy accomplishment. But thank God it can happen.
Bunny today is free of drugs and alcohol. She is saved and a mother. She is living her life as a Christian and has just finished writing a book called “The Kept Ones,” a tell all autobiography.
James DeBarge who was once married to Janet Jackson for a few weeks before her family had the marriage annulled, is also saved and living his life as a Christian, as well is their mother, Etterlene DeBarge.
You can CLICK the LINK S below to read the whole VIBE magazine story.
Their mother Etterlene DeBarge, which is also Bunny’s real name, is 72 with her own page on myspace.
Their lives have not been easy. But through it all they have a testimony of survival, defying the odds and are attempting to rise above, and through it all to once again unite as a family victorious through Christ Jesus.
In the words of James DeBarge in the last youtube video clip below-
Child abuse hurts…and in many cases it ruins people’s lives. Many never recover from it. Some just learn how to go on. But we all remember it…and it does remain with us for the rest of our lives whether it appears on the outside or not.
UPDATE: July 29, 2010…Robert Debarge, the father, died last year, August 2009. What a very sad, lonely and broken man he must have been for all the horrors he committed. Truly a sad story…which I understand is soon going to hit the big screen.
UPDATE: August 7, 2012…Just checking on my files and things as I usually do…when I spotted that a few people had been looking for info on the death of James. Immediately, I hit the internet looking thinking that James must have just died. But thank God… he has not. But I came across some pictures of him… and he has really aged.
In looking at his pictured I noticed how much he looks like his father. It must be hard waking up in the morning and looking into the mirror and seeing him… the face of the man who used to abuse you and all your other siblings.
I imagine that they all have good days… and bad days. There are some scars that never go away. That kind of hurt most hurt forever…but thank goodness for Jesus, He can make a difference. A lot of things become easier to bare because of Him.
Let us keep them all lifted up in our prayers.
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71 comments December 14, 2008