Posts tagged ‘sex change ‘
I’m sorry but I can definitely not agree.
I understand how the world now feels that it must agree with every whim that comes rolling along, in order to not offend anyone.
But what about what is right?
Should we forsake everything that is right in order to appease everything in this world?
I think not. And I also believe it puts this world … though it has already been… on the road to destruction long ago… but it is just edging closer and closer to it.
It appears to me that we at this moment in history …we are creating our own pitfalls and devastation.
You cannot run with everything and believe you will finish the race successfully. Somewhere along the line something falls… or everything begins to fall out of your arms. This means you loose something.
We are loosing many things these days… and it mostly boils down to primarily loosing our way as people… as a civilization …as people who live in a ‘real world.’ Not a make-believe world… anything we want to be… or anything we want it to be world. But a REAL WORLD… with REAL WORLD ORDER… standards… qualifications… variety… and variances created by God. Not by us.
God created this world order. And He created it as He would have it to be.
Can man upset world balance?
Yes, man can.
When we go tinkering with things which we should not be tinkering with problems are sure to arise. And they have.
This whole cross dressing and transgender thing is going to destroy this planet. And this thing is booming.
There is a problem which arises when we start picking and choosing what gender we decide we should be. Or maybe what gender we decide we are going to raise our children as being… like saying you wanted a boy but got a girl.
So, you arbitrarily decide you are call your girl Sam and dress her only in clothes of boys… and have her live her life as Sam. And never let her in on the fact that she is a girl… but tell and teach her as if she is boy.
So, Sally grows up believing that she is Sam. Now, this is hypothetical. I just going somewhere with this scenario.
Now, Sally did not realize until some time in school that she … or rather he (Sam) was different from all the other boys. She noticed that perhaps she looked more like a girl. Then she noticed that she had started to develop breasts. When she was in the boy’s bathroom she noticed that she was missing something that all the other boys seem to have when they peed.
But you raised Sally believing that she was Sam.
You thought that you were God. That you could create whatever you wanted your child to be. When God gave you the child He had deemed for you… a girl… not a boy.
Now, Sam is having problems at school. He is disassociating from all the other kids. He feels that he does not fit in. He feels different.
Most of us grew up feeling different. Many of us grew up feeling like we didn’t fit in. These are natural emotions for kids to go through… except for those who happen be popular and always seem to be in the midst of plenty of people who rush to be with them.
But you weren’t 1 of them. When you look into the mirror you see somebody else. You feel like if you could be somebody else… that then you would be happy. Maybe you wish you were your sister or brother or a different sex. Or your mom or dad. And you begin to become that someone else.
Kids are always pretending… and playing make believe. But when does this become something else for some kids or teens… or even adults?
It becomes something else as long as you harbor or meditate of being that different person… that you begin to fantasize yourself to be. And after a while you meet up with someone… because it only takes 1 mixed up and highly confused person to send you on a trip you may never come back from… a trip to convert yourself into a fantasy you.
It is all make believe. Because we are who we are… and there is no changing it no matter how many pills are taken. How deep the voice may get… or how much facial hairs you get… or breasts you develop. You really can’t change you.
Oh, outwardly yes. But inwardly… no. And that inside person who really determines who you truly are. And it goes beyond your DNA… and THAT you definitely cannot change.
So, you change your name, your driver’s license, your city or town… and the pretense really begins. Because you are looking for a fresh start as this ‘new you.’
Though you may be able to deceive many people. The issue is… how long can you keep up the pretense. Because everyday you step out the door pretending to be who you were not born to be is really just a pretense… and you will never ever be able to get away from that.
What I find interesting is how in the world do people who go through all this really believe that becoming …or attempting to become another gender means that they are not gay?
Do they not want to engage in sexual activity with someone of the sex they are pretending to no longer be?
Then how can this not be gay behavior?
Oh, because you now associate yourself as the opposite sex… and call yourself ‘he’ rather than ‘she’… you believe that you automatically became the ‘he’ or ‘she’ you wanted to be?
Do not deceive yourself. It is all a charade. And the only 1 who got fooled was you.
Men who want men… are not going to go for a man who becomes a woman. Because if they wanted a woman they could get a ‘real’ woman… not some one pretending to be 1.
Women who love women… might like a dyke looking woman… many like that … but not all. But if a woman wanted a man, do you not believe she could find herself a ‘real’ man… and not someone playing and eating pills to be 1?
And therein lays the problem for these people who get these sex changes. They discover that that fantastic change that they were hoping for … that was going to make them happy ever after because they were now who and what they felt they had truly been born to be… wasn’t the happy every after that they hoped it would be.
Come on wake up.
So, no I’m not in agreement to the Boys Scouts of America allowing transgender girls into the scouts. Because primarily… because these girls are still girls. Down beneath they still have their vagina.
So, what happens if out on the trail a couple of over zealous boys decide to teach her a thing or 2?
As quietly as it is kept in the military this is quite an issue. Female women in the military get raped… and this happens in large numbers. Female girls on campuses get raped… and this too happens in large numbers… as much as most campuses try to squash it from getting out.
It is a reality.
And why would any girls really want to put herself through watching a bunch of boys with ranging hormones …taking a leak.
And no, I am not into transgender bathrooms either.
And I do not believe I have to go along in order to get along.
I will not forsake my core principles in order to make other people happy. I just cannot do it.
Do you really want me to become a liar by calling him ‘she’ when I know that he is not
I can’t go to hell trying to play other people’s games. I am sorry… and I mean you no
harm. But just do not ask me to play.
And I do not believe in being politically right… when politically right goes against my religious right to not lie… or condone lying or stealing… or deceiving… or fornicating… or adultery … and you know the rest. I just cannot.
So, don’t ask me. Because I have enough things that I may have to answer for of my own without me playing your game …adding to my list…
Now that I have addressed my thoughts on this subject please enjoy the rest of your week. And I know that I’ll get a few responses on this… but that’s is okay.
We are not all going to agree. But 1 thing is for sure we trying to agree on too many things… when most people who play like they agree really do not. So, at least I am honest. And I am not a hater… but a firm believer that the truth is the truth… and hopefully because I spoke truth somebody will be set free…
And anyone… so-called parent who does this thing purposely to their child or children really should be arrest for child abuse. Because they putting their child into the pit of hell… and creating for them a life that cannot lead them to any form of happiness by playing something that they are not.
Do not ruin the life of your child by making them a transgender child. One thing when a person who is old enough to decide certain things for themselves. And quite another when crazy parents do it to their children.
Well, God bless… I’m out. Thanks for reading my blogs. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2017
Add a comment January 31, 2017
I would be the last person to criticize or make a mockery of anyone’s child, as I too am a mother of a gay child. The irony of it all is that I too was once gay… or as I like to say, ‘I was in the life.’
So, coming to grips with my son being gay should have been an easy thing for me right?
It worried me. It plagued me. And at times in the beginning shamed me. I went through the whole gambit of emotions trying to deal with it mentally. And truthfully speaking just did not want to accept it… and I still don’t but for other reasons I will get to later in this blog.
But through it all my love of my son never tethered. I have always loved him. In fact, I will go as far to say, ‘That I even adore him.’ And I have always recognized that he was a far better person than his mother.
I recall while teaching several years ago there was a young male student that sought me out to talk to me about his relationship with his family. His family was made up of Saved people who rejected him. They made him feel bad about himself and about the lifestyle he had gravitated toward. He felt trapped because he loved them… but could not deny his sexuality
He was a handsome boy… smart and I could tell that he was kind and loved his family deeply. But their feelings towards him tormented him. They were pushing him away… and out of their lives. They didn’t want him in their house. And I guess it is fair to say that the very sight of him made them sick.
What a shame. They obviously did not know …or could not see the type of person they had really birthed into this world. Because he was worth celebrating… and not rejecting.
While in the life I had encountered many gay guys with similar stories of rejection. Many covered up their alternate lifestyles… or attempted to …or so they thought. Because they did not want the rejection… someth
Many fell away from the church because the church laughed at them… made jokes about them and ‘limp wrist.’ The church turned its back on them and attempted to make them hate themselves. In response to that many became drug abuser…
started drinking heavily… and many even attempted and did commit suicide. And then there were those who broke down mentally and began having mental problems because of the rejection, and the feeling that they had let down their families.
I have seen many sad and lost gay men and women who suffered the pains of family rejection… church rejection and community rejection. In those days there were not gay people all over the TV like today… or all these Hollywood stars walking around proclaiming their gayness as we see today. Or all these anti-gay laws as we see today… or legislation of gay rights and gay marriages etc..
But back in the day there were just a lot of lost souls seeking to find themselves, who seemed to only find 1 place where they felt they really fitted… and that was in the gay lifestyle. Being gay… and I was 1 of them.
Oh, yes… I was 1 of them. I’m free today …and of that yoked of bondage that had once had me bound… but many still are lost. And because of all these new acceptances such as the changing of one’s sex… this whole thing has gotten more and more crazier. And it has fooled a lot of them into believing by doing all these crazy things they will find happiness.
The devil is a liar… and the great deceiver.
I came out of the life when S&M started to become the big rage. More and more gay people were slipping into the bondage thing… and I could just not wrap my head around that. It was not for me. I could not see me allowing anybody to tie me up or handcuff me… or otherwise rendering me helpless while they beat me and did whatever else they wanted to do to me. I could not see the intrigue in that sexually or any other kind of way.
During my time in the life there had always been cross-dressers, drag queens, transvestites etc. But this thing of wanting to become and man if you are a woman ….or a women if you are a man may not be new. But it certainly was not popular. And that is what it is today… popular. And it is very popular … as popular as people tattooing their bodies or piercing themselves all over the place.
But I did not begin this blog to really talk about any of what I just wrote. I really wanted to write about Sade’s daughter.
When I was in the life… it was Sade I longed for. She was so sexy to me. I loved everything about her… including all her music. I bought everything she put out. But then lets face it… her music was good. She was different and had a style all of her own… and I guess that attracted me more than anything else.
I will never forget that for 1 of my birthday’s a friend gave me a large framed picture of Sade, which I hung in my living room. And I would often just stare at it.
Yeah, I was crazy… in love. Sade was fine… but so was my then girlfriend, Angela. Where I would have chosen Sade… many would have chosen Angela hands down. And yes, Angela was quite beautiful. She was exotic in many ways. She had a British accent, and was part Jamaican and Chinese. And she was brilliant… and she was the person who withstood me for the longest… 10 years. She liked telling that story.
When I spoke with her last she informed me that she too had found Christ Jesus, and was reading the Bible daily. I was very happy to hear that as Angela had grown up Catholic and had very conflicting thoughts about God and religion. But there was 1 thing she had said about me… she knew even then… that 1 day I would become woman of God. I guess there was something about me… and it had to do with my training. It was the fact that I grew up in the church… and that training kept me from crossing certain lines… such as drinking or doing drugs… or smoking etc. Where many had been rejected I was not because I did not look a certain way. I could pass… and no one except keen women who were also in the life could spot me.
But I did not cuss or live a riotous life… and I knew nothing about living badly, as my parents were real church people… loving and caring… and giving unto others church people. So, they were my role models… and there was 1 thing about them. They never ever spoke to me about being gay… and I never ever flaunted anything like that in front of them… though they never restricted me in being me.
So, Sade’s daughter is gay. And by looking over the pictures of her and her daughter I can tell that Sade, who took time off from her career as a recording artist for a few years to give birth and begin raising her daughter… that Sade never once thought to reject her daughter.
Seeing pictures of Michael Jordan and his daughter, Jasmine…he too seems to be an accepting father of his child. She is quite attractive… they both are Michael’s daughter and Sade’s daughter. And Magic’s son, Erwin… after having lost over a hundred pounds is quite handsome himself.
Many people can’t deal with sexuality issues and their children. Everybody at some point has had to battle through something. Many adults … parents often forget the headaches they caused their parents… and the many sleepless night they took their parents through when it comes time to deal with their own children.
In life people are always in a state of transformation. Their taste in food changes… clothes changes… thoughts on various subjects change… and they change… they mature… they gain wisdom… and if all goes right they discover who they really are. This is why I am so anti-sex changes… because I understand clearly the changes that people go through from their early stages to their latter stages… and no one is ever the same or thinks the same way.
I sometimes go back and look up old gay friends on Facebook and I can truly say… I am so thankful that I am no longer in the life. They seem so old to me… so sad… and seem to not have grown. We look different… them and me. But then the hand of God is upon my life and has always been.
As Sade’s daughter travels through this life it will be interesting to see the changes and turns her life will too take… as well as Michael Jordan’s daughter and Magic’s son. There is this old song that Donny Hathaway used to sing called ‘Everything Must Change.’ And it goes on to say ...’nothing remains the same.’ That is BUT ‘God.’
And the great thing about God… He loves us all… no matter what pit we happen to fall in. And He is able to reach down and bring us all out.
I no longer fantasy over Sade. Nor do I listen to her music. I’m on a different path… and as my parents prayed for me… I too pray for my son that God does the same for him as He did for me. And I pray for my friends and the many many many others who are lost. It doesn’t matter what they may or may not be in… but if they are not walking in the steps which God has ordered then prayer is the most powerful tool we can use to help… with the hope that God too will favor them and call them out from among them.
God bless… I’ve got to get out of here now. Somebody is probably going to write me saying I thought this blog was supposed to be about Sade’s daughter. And to a degree it was…
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” http://www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2016
Add a comment April 20, 2016
I rarely read the newspaper…and have stopped watching television. So, the means that I accquire the news these days is usually when I go up over the net and see a news flash. Most of the time I pay little attention to them…but then there are those which draw me in. And I find myself having to read the story…and not out of real interest…but because I find the headline hard to believe.
Today, I came across one of those attention grabbing headlines. The headline read something like this…‘Gang Rape and nobody helped.’
How could such a thing happen?
What has happened to mankind?
The incident took place during a high school homecoming dance outside in some alleyway or something on the school grounds…for 2 hours long this raping continued. And kids stood around watching, while others jumped in to participate while a 15 year girl was repeatedly raped by up to as many…if not more than 15 to 20 people who in some way participated in this incident or stood by watching.
What would possess somebody to stand around and want to cheer on or watch such a thing?
Why didn’t someone call for help?
Or run and go tell somebody?
What is going on in the minds of our young people that they could get caught up in such a thing…and then become party to it by standing around and doing nothing…or worst…jump in and become more than a watcher?
Everyone of those kids should be pulled into court…and facing some type of charges.
I cannot imagine such a thing. There is not anything that I can see going on…that I would not try to stop…or somehow help in some way. I have seen men fighting their girlfriends…and gotten involved. I have stopped fights between kids. I have gotten between mama-bady-daddy drama. And did it because I just can’t turn a blind eye to anything that I feel is wrong…or harmful…or potentially dangerous to someone.
I don’t have a fear of getting involved. But I know that many people do not think like this. And I know that many people may feel that I am putting my ownself in jeopardy. And if I stopped to considered that…I might act like everybody else.
But I am glad that I do not. I’ve got nieces and nephews…and a son that I have to think about. I just don’t want anything to happen to them. So, let me try to clean up the problems now. Later might be too late…for them and me.
But how could I not help somebody?
Or try to?
But I have never ran towards anything in order to be an observer…not even as a child.
That is something which I cannot understand. Why would I run towards gun fire to see what is going on…or just to see who got shot…and laugh excitely about it?
Now, that is stupid to me.
Or, why would I rush to see people fighting?
If anything…I go to see if I can help…and whenever I am near a fight I go to break it up. Not to laugh and cheer anything on.
But this is the mentality of people…and it is definitely the mentality of of the kids. Everything is a joke…or funny. But somebody being raped…or killed is not a joke. And certainly not funny…nor is it entertainment.
This kind of thinking is dangerous for all mankind. If the new group of adults coming into this world are a bunch of desensitized robots…uncaring…unfeeling…unthinking…uncompassionate ids….where will this world be?
How safe will any of us be…as the world falls into their hands?
I once had a lover who had been gang raped and sodomized…and who knows whatever else. But I cannot tell you the impact it left upon her…and her life. Every time she went to the bathroom she re-lived that situation. That thing lived with her…it was in her insides and something she could not shake. Though she was successful…as an actress…and part-time music teacher…that incident marked her private life. That gang rape greatly colored her life in the in-between time.
She was not big in size…small stature. So, I can imagine just how helpless she must have felt…not to mention the terror of it. She never really talked about it except to say that it had happened. And I did not push it.
So, how could someone…20 or more people witness something like that and not do anything?
How could we…any of us be safe if everyone walking around us only cares about themselves…and have no compassion for anyone else?
There is a great need for serious consideration to be given for where will mankind be and the type of world and societies will dominate this planet in the next 20 to 30…or 50 years from now. Everyting is a joke. Blood…rape…murder…crimes of every conceivable kind and inconceiveable kind are happening today…and very high rates…escalated rates. And nobody is paying attention to it.
And not only a need for serious consideration…but something has to be done now regarding the attitude of our youth to crime and criminal acts. And high officials should be concerned now about what affects desensitizing our teens to blood and criminal acts via computer games, movies, music videos etc. will have upon the increase of future criminal acts and the types of crimes prepetrated…and to what degree these crimes are acted out.
Some feel that the lack of anyone getting involved had to do with fear. But if their fear is that great…then they should fear how much worst it is going to be if people continue to allow criminal acts to take place without something being done now.
They don’t have any fear yet…let the criminals continue acting out as they are acting out.
Fear only empowers those perpetrating the crimes. Fear is the biggest thing that they have going for them. That is why the Bible says….‘Fear not.’
The last thing you want to do…even with an animal…is appear to be afraid. Or in other words…fearful.
What happens when fear is taken out of the equation?
Then you have power…because the power ceases to be in the hands of him or them that are trying to terrorize you. It is one of the first lessons you learned really early in life. Usually while you were in grade school when it came to bullys…who were only as big and as bad as you let them be. But did you ever finally stand up to one…and saw how quickly the tables turned around between you and them?
While living in Chicago…I was at wits end. I was being stalked…something I would suggest that no one try to do today. Because I am no longer that person…believe me.
But I became a nervous wreck under that situation. My fear absorbed me…totally. I was well on my way to having a nervous breakdown behind it…had it not been for the Lord. I could not walk down the street without stopping everytime I heard someone walking behind me. Being in a large city like Chicago…this happened quite often as someone was always behind me…just not normally the person who was terrorizing me. In the evening when I went home…I would throw open the door to my apartment before entering and step in like police detectives…leaving the door wide open behind me. I would go from room to room peering in trying to make sure no one was in my apartment…which definitely left me open for the person to enter into my apartment behind me. But when fear has you…it has you…and you do not think clearly. And when you are not thinking clearly…you leave yourself open to a whole lot of the things… anything can happen to you.
I was tormented by fear. So much so…that by the time I finally got through it I vowed never again. I lived in darkness…afraid to turn on my lights in apartment at night…afraid to answer the phone (this was at a time before Caller-ID). I will never go back to being in that state again. Under any circumstances…or by anyone.
But at the end…the tables turned. It took a dramatic turn…and had not God intervened I might probably be in prison now…and there for the rest of my life. Because I would have killed the person. I snapped…and in my snapping the tables turned…and my perpetrated went fleeing from me. When I think of it now…it is so Biblical….‘and I will make you enemies flee 7 ways before thee.’ And that is when it ended…when I finally stood up to the person…the phone calls…the following …the threats….everything…and I vowed ‘never…ever again’
And I have never feared anything…or anyone ever again.
And this is how I know how big a weapon fear is.
And those who use it…count upon it being so. They dominate neighborhoods…housing complexes…streets…cities…etc…using fear.
So, the more that people cease to do anything…if indeed they are fearful…because I believe that most of them just don’t care…as long as it doesn’t involve them or their family. But those who are fearful of doing something to stop or aid somehow a victim of a criminal act…the more you empower those who perpetrate the crimes. Thereby, in the end causing yourself a greater harm…because you did nothing. And those that you fear become stronger and more more aggressive if they are allowed to continue. It is an unending situation…better to deal with it sooner rather than later.
If nobody cares about your neighborhood…then you should. Because you do live there too. And you should never allow anybody to chase you up or down a street…or make you run…or have you afraid to leave your home.
What happens when you become the victim?
And you will…one way or another…if you allow crime to fester unrestrained…or actively sought to be kept down.
I was pretty sick reading about that man who had imprisoned his own daughter in a very small basement space for over 20 years of her life…breeding kids with her. And all of this while living just above his daughter in the house with his wife…her mother. That story made me sick for such a long time…so much so I could not talk about it…much less write about it. But it is an example of the type of stories that we are reading and hearing about today. But if this is what is going on today…hideous crimes…stomach turning crimes. How much worst will these stories become in the future…if this trend continues?
Criminal activity is on an increase everywhere…and much of it we never even hear about until somebody leaks something. And many others because the value of the poor people who have fallen into the hands of some very sick people…well, their lives were just not worth looking into.
So, no investigation were ever initiated.
Take for instance this story….
It is very unfortunate when police officials pick and chose who is or is not worth looking for. So many people go missing without the police going out to look for them while they might have been found yet alive. But if they…any of these poor women in this story been some rich socialites, or high city officials or lawyers…or anybody with any degree of money or some type of clout…no amount of expense or time would have been spared on their behalf.
There is an imbalance in the world…and it stretches all the way around the world.
I know I have told this story in an earlier blog here… www.bsmith101.wordpress.com. It is when one night…late night…actually early morning…when my cousin, Vincent, was on his home from having been out clubing. As he neared his apartment…in the dark of night he heard a woman scream out for help. He went running in the direction on the cries and came upon the woman and her perpetrator. He grab the man and flung him to the ground…and then held him down until the police came.
My cousin was a very tall and handsome gay male. I have no doubt that most of his life he had to deal with people snickering about him as he was very effeminate. But he never hesitated to step aside for a woman…or get get up to offer his seat to a woman or elderly person… or help you remove your coat…or pull out your chair and hold it for you as you sat down. He was more a man than most ‘so-called’ real men. And not only was he a very nice…but also a very decent person…and caring in every way. He really was someone who would give you the shirt off his back. And if it cost him…he gave to you regardless if he had suffer.
You could not have met a better person than him.
He would have never ran towards a fight to stand and watch it…but to pull the people apart. Nor would he have stood around and watched a young girl or anyone being raped. I wish I had a picture of him…to put in this blog. He was a hero. And we need more like him.
Reggie Jackson of the New York Yankees was the same way. His name had found its way into news headlines for more than baseball…more than once because of some acts of heroism on his part…when he went to the aid of someone.
More people need to do it…and things would change. Just think of 9/11…what not would have happened if the people on those first 2 airplanes had been more like the people on that 3rd airplane?
In looking up information of the gang rape…I happened to come by this story. Though I had seen this picture of this woman many times…I never knew her story. But it is sick. In fact, it is more like beastiality.
She is a socialite…who married a man…wealthy man. He had built a jungle on his property and had a great love for his cats…the type known as ‘lions.’ So, as she started to age and as a means of re-capturing his attention she decided to disfigure herself like this purposely. She is called the ‘lion woman.’ Because she went under the knife to have her face disfigured into that of a lion.
It is beastiality…in its highest form.
What a sick mind…and it truly shows what having too much money and nothing concrete to do with it…can bring about.
Finally, in closing… I got an comment today on my Chastity Bono blog…which has been getting a tremedous amount of hits lately. This particular person was very disenchanted with my statements regarding Chastity and her sex change. But he used a very interesting word while stating his point.
That word was… ‘transitioning.’
Evidently, this person felt that Chastity’s…or Chaz as she is calling herself these days…decision to undergo that surgery to remove somethings and to add some other things… Well, that it is just a simple little transition in life. To a degree we all have to go through some transitioning in our lives, I guess… overcoming some disappointments…some losses…some set-backs…aging….etc. But the altering of ones sex is a bit more deeper than a simple little transitioning phase. And I think most would agree with me about that.
I was reading something on a quakco doctor…one that performs a lot of these type of operations…sex changes…who is now a supposed woman himself. After having undergone the operation himself many years ago…it seems that all of his partners have been women who ‘underwent the operation.’ He became a woman…and they became supposed men. Which means…they kind of ended up in the same kind of situation that they would have been in…in the first place had they merely remained what they already had.
I wouldn’t let anybody who is not clear headed put a knife to me. Most of these surgeons are quakes and definitely…these so-called plastic surgeons.
We are living in a sick world…truly. And we should all be concerned about where this world is going…meaning….in which direction it is headed in. Things are being turned upside down.
And I am not really trying to pass judgement on anyone. Because we all do crazy things…and years later wake up having lots of regrets. I still regret some things…many things in fact. And in the process I have grown. But thank goodness I did nothing that committed me for my whole entire life to a big mistake. I was fortunate…no bless…because many can’t say that.
We can’t change people’s decisions about things concerning themselves…and what it is or isn’t that they want to do. Nor can we force things down people’s throats…or should we try. That is one of the greatest beauties of God…choice. He desires that we should have it…and with the hope that we make the right ones.
Well, the day is almost over. Its been quiet and I am trying to finish up on some things. I want to complete some things before the new year comes in. I want my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, to be out and available for sale…my website launched. And a couple of other things settled too.
And I look forward to it.
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card. Thank you.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on…” www.bsmith101.wordpress.com ©2009
Add a comment November 2, 2009
I had thought not to touch this story and just keep my private thoughts on it to myself…and share them among friends only…and only if they asked me. But after thinking about it I realized that I could not.
One of the things about coming out of something…is that you sometimes can become highly convicted in your stance against whatever it is or was that you may have come out of. Or in other words…things you no longer wallow in…or transgress in…indulge in…or no longer partake in…and was the way you used to be…etc… So, you emerge from it being very strongly opposed to it.
You become very anti- it…about whatever it was or is that you used to do…or who you used to be…but now are not…or of that which you no longer do…or indulge in. You in fact…move all the way over to the far left side of the bar…and become an extremist regarding that issue…or thing that once had you bounded. Usually, the farthest you can get from it…emotionally and opinion-wise as well.
So, having already told you that I was once ‘in the life’ in several other blogs…meaning I was a lesbian…gay…lived in the homosexual lifestyle…then I feel I can freely talk on this subject. But do not ask me anything about drugs or alcohol…or most of anything else…because I know little to nothing on such subjects…outside of the fact of what I have seen regarding the affects of them…or the after-affects of them. That being said…
Chastity Bono, the daughter of Rock icons Sonny & Cher of the 70’s, decision to alter her sex…and the way that it is being presented in the media…really kind of disturbs me. Not her decision to change her sex…because that is her choice…but it is the media (the type of coverage) on it that concerns me.
Having had been in the life for many years…some I don’t know…more than 30+ years…I have known many women. But the people I knew…or should say know…as I still know them…and still converse with some of them…though I do not hang out with them…but all of them were women who were happy to be women. In fact…they celebrated their woman-ness… sought out places that were exclusively women… restaurants… bookstores… vacation spots… curise-liners… clubs… etc…
So, Chastity’s decision is not the norm… far from it, in fact. Many lesbian women have no dealings with men. And hate them for various historical reasons in regard to their lives and past histories.
Though today, I do see many more young girls trying to really do this thing…that is called ‘butch’ themselves up. With the hanging pants…and all the other things they do. But still it is not the norm. And thank goodness for that.
Imagine this world…if everybody decided that they wanted to change who God created them to be?
How whacked out this place would be?
Some people would be walking around calling themselves some kind of animal…maybe this is a bit extreme. But not that far fetch… considering some of the things that some people involve themselves in.
I can’t image wanting to change my sex to become a man. I am so happy that I never had that conflict. I mean I have always wondered…how it is that men go to the bathroom when they do the number 2?
Do men sit on the toilet and have to hold that piece downward in their hands? I don’t really know men like that as I was a lesbian. So, I have no way of knowing. But I do have a serious thing about germs. I know I really wouldn’t want to do that. I would be so afraid that I might touch some filthy toilet seat…if I were out in public having to do that. Though rarely do I go to the bathroom while out.
And yes…I am a bit naive. I do admit it. There are many things that I do not know.
And since we are on the subject… When they…men…stand over the urinals…all of that spattering…all over your pants legs. Who wants to go through all of that?
Yes, I am happy to be a woman. Though the men’s bathrooms tend to be a bit cleaner. I have heard that.
But if…I were a man. Why would I want to be a woman?
What would be the benefit of that?
I am just so glad that God does the selecting and choosing…as to what we will be. Could you imagine a more confusing situation than that? Trying to choose whether your child would male or female. Though some scientist have tried to come up with a way of doing just that. And many countries put a premimium on one sex over the other…the male species. Though without women this world would come to a very sudden and complete end.
But going back to my original train of thought…I just could not see myself as being a man…or having ever wanting to be one. And thank goodness none of my gay women friends have had to battle with that either…nor any of my male friends.
I can imagine the pain that one must go through having that conflict. Because that has to be one very big and hard inward battle going on to decide to do such a thing.
The truth of the matter, however, is this…the mind plays tricks…and if you are not careful you will fall into the trap. Of believing something that is not so.
If you look into the mirror every day thinking that you hate what looks back and that-
“I would look good as a man.”
Or perhaps…as a woman. Sooner or later you will begin to believe that you should have been born a man or a woman. You will also start to believe that you see certain characteristics or qualities about yourself…which in reality have been sub-consciously taken on…and/or implanted in your sub-conscious…which may not truly be there…and do not really exist. But because it is what you want to see and placed in your mind…it is what you will see. So, if you desire to see certain things…over time you may come to believe that you see them.
Then in turn you will believe that those characteristics verify the fact that you should be…and are really something else other than what you are. And so you come to the final conclusion that through some trick or error of nature you were born a woman rather than a man…or visa versa.
All that kind of thinking is a head-trip…a real mind game. You will see what you want to see…you will feel what you believe you want to feel.
The mind is wicked…and highly deceptive.
For most of my life I have thought of myself as being unattractive…ugly in fact. I never wanted mirrors arround…hated to take pictures…etc. Because I hated seeing me. It was not until I had to start taking pictures for my book cover…that I came to realize that I am really not ugly. In fact, I have to laugh…because of all the years I let get pass me believing myself to be ugly when I was not.
Then too, in my book I made a statement…which made me really have to think. I state in my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE, how I had been stalked at least 3 separate times in my life. After writing that…I began to think about what it was those people saw in me that would have lead them to want to do that. When I know many good-looking people…very good-looking…exceedingly good-looking…and they had never been stalked.
So, why me?
This is when I thought…again.
Here it was all those years I never realized that I was not ugly. Because of my profession and always being the public eye…people gravitated to me. And people who listen to you over the radio…
Well, they just fantasize about everything…and they all believe they love you. But I could not have looked that terribly bad…to have problems with 3 separate people at various times in my history.
But I never really knew until I looked into those pictures for my book…that I wasn’t as bad looking as I had thought I had been for all of my years. It is amazing. But it was a mind game…which for me came about when I started thinking that I was not as good-looking as any of my sisters or brothers…as a young child. And that shaped my thinking of myself for all of these years.
My mind had me tricked…I saw that which my mind allowed me to see. And so I lived under that shell all of my life until about 6 months ago.
Let me take a quick station break: my book, THE BISHOP’S WIFE… is coming…. Yes, my book is coming…I will definitely let you know when it is available for purchase.
Now…back to the subject.
I was deceived by my mind a 2nd time…when I fell into lesbianism. But thank God…I didn’t sink so far down that I ever thought about mutilating myself…with a sex change.
And yes…I had met some hardcore women…who wore men’s clothes and under garments. Some even who thought it manly to beat up their lovers and/or girlfriends. But I never heard any one of them talk about changing their sex…or wanting to do so…no matter how much outwardly they tried to emulate men.
Yes, though we were living in confusion…we were far from being that confused. And I thank God…from removing me totally from it. I no longer dwell in a ball of confusion…and under the cloud of lesbianism.
But the article that I read of Chastity Bono’s decision to under-go a sex change was so accepting of it…as though it were a natual transition in life…something acceptable. I would hate to think that any poor child or teenage or another adult currently battling with issues over their sexuality…should read that article and think that such a thing is either natural…or really acceptable. Not acceptable to you or me…but for themselves. As it goes against nature.
And there have been many articles and books written on the subject…some opposing and some pro. But there have been many regrets regarding that whole process. And I have seen much sadness and anguish among those fighting that battle.
As I mentioned in at least 2 other blogs…I did know a guy…who when I met him was in the process of under-going his sex change. I met him as the women he presented himself to me to be…as he had started coming to Salsa Soul Sisters meetingsa lesbian organization in New York City…and we all at the time believed that he was a woman. But from the time I met him…and I cannot call him ‘her’…I would be lying if I said that. But from the time I met him…in the back of my mind I always felt that something about him was out of whack.
I have met many gay guys…but had never met one trying to become a lesbian before. And neither had anyone else in Salsa Soul Sisters either…until we all met him…who presented himself as a woman to us all. But when they found out…nothing could hold them back…those black lesbian women.
One night those women stormed into Salsa and turned that meeting out…because they were not having a biological man…turned lesbian…or turning lesbian…within their organization and on their board. And they meant every word of it…and voted that night ‘that no one born biologically a man could ever sit on the board of Salsa Soul Sister, Inc. or become a member of Salsa.’ That was their sentiment…and they were right. I did agree…and still agree even though I am no longer a member.
The fact is…regardless of the pills and surgery…you will always be what God created…biologically. You can change your name…your hair style…your walk…talk…even your game…or anything and everything else you want to change. But underneath it all…your real DNA…can’t be changed. It can be confused…I guess with all that medication. But who you are…is who you are. It is who you really are…and that can’t be changed no matter what. No matter how much you dislike it…or dislike yourself.
I don’t know when I saw it…but it was on television. I think it was a Barbara Walters’ special. It was one of the saddest and most horrifying shows I had watched in my many years of watching TV. It was a show on parents allowing their children to cross-dress. By this I mean…there are parents who are allowing their very young pre-teen children…sons or daughters to decide that they were not whatever sex they had been borned…and dressing like whatever they wanted to be.
It was horrifying. Truly, horrifying.
It made me sick to see a 4 or 5 year old being allowed to demean himself or herself in that fashion. And they looked hideous.
At such young ages children being bred in a continuous state of high confusion…and their own parents abetting them in doing so. It was terrifying…absolutely terrifying.
In one of those stories, Barbara visits with a family who allows their little boy to dress as a little girl…long hair…the whole 9 yards. The little boy has a baby sister. Her cup and everything about her is pink…while everything for him was blue…do note the word ‘was.’
The boy wanted the pink cup…the pink this and the pink that. Well, it really doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that thing out. The little boy had become jealous of his little sister. I don’t know…maybe the parents stopped doting on him and became pre-occupied with his little sister. So, he of course wanting his parents attention once again…he might desire to become his little sister…or some how take her place in order to regain their…his parent’s attention and love again.
So, what does his little confused mind decide to do?
He starts wanting what she has… her things… clothing…etc. He develops a desire to replace her… by becoming her. Thus, a desire to be a little girl… as in his confused little mind he views it as being the root cause and remedy to his little situation.
It is not at all that he really wants to be a girl. But he desires his parents’ attention again. Which if his parents had taken any time with him…it would obvious to them. That the love he felt that they have taken from him and given to the little girl…his sister…he wanted it back.
Then there is this other side of the coin. If the little boy doesn’t like boy stuff…toys, sports etc..
So, what if he doesn’t grow up playing baseball…or basketball…or watching sports. It doesn’t mean you have to put your stamp all over him…and say-
“I know what…we’ll call him girl.”
And dress him up like one.
Yes…I do know that some gay guys…and even some women… claim that they knew they were gay from the craddle. But closer examination on the matter…might bring them to some other opinion if they really sat down and looked back at things in their history that they may have forgotten.
It is a mind game. Some kids grow up thinking that they are the biggest and the baddest. Some that they are stupid and don’t know anything. Some believing that they are beautiful…some that they are smart. It can vary depending upon who they are…what their social-economic backgrounds… neighborhoods… family… schools… churches…etc.. and what is going on within their home. But over time it almost always changes…our preception of ourselves…and the world around us…and how we view ourselves in it.
Imagine a little child…4 or 5 years old trying to fight that battle everyday. Of having to go to school everyday…and trying to interact with other children…dressed as a little girl when he is a little boy. It is a ticket to suicide…or drug abuse…and self hate.
Most gay guys can’t even deal with issues from their history…family rejection…etc. when they reach older ages. They battle those issues most of their lives. Which is why many of them suffer from alcholism, drug addictions…and indulge so heavily in all types of dangerous sexual practices.
Yes, sadly…I have seen and heard many gay people…mostly men…crying over their broken relationships with their families…endless cycle of broken love relationships…etc. Crying over their lives wreked in pain and sorrow. Dealing with dying lovers…ex’s …rejections…regrets… etc…etc… It is hard no matter whether straight or gay to deal with such things. It’s hard. But then to have the added burden of being rejected by your classmates… churches…and society too…makes it all the more worst…and painful…and as a kid?
All across the gay community there are vast levels of self-hate…fear…and self-destruction. It is sad…very sad. So, how could any loving or caring parent indulge their child in any such way as to let them suffer with such thoughts…and conflicts that they…themselves have probably placed upon their child in the first place? Of which the child may end up battling and trying to fight…and deal with for the rest of their lives. When all they…the parent or parents of that little boy… had to do was get rid of all that ‘pink and blue’ stuff…and stop setting up stereotypes…and road blocks for their son. And tried to give him…their son some quality time. Rather than to assist him into the further creation of confusion in his little life…by buying him girls clothes etc…and engage him in trying to emulate something which the child is not. He is not a girl…nor a joke. Or a plaything…he is a real person…who is on his way to being badly damaged.
Being a woman encompasses a variety of things. We do and think differently from the male species. Our tendencies towards giving, sharing, helping, family, responsibilities, listening, conversing with others, aiding, depth of compassion, commitment, emotions, emotional strenght etc…and so much more are all quite different from men. It is far more than one group having a different set of sex organs from the other. And all the pills and operations…and therapy in the world is not going to change this.
I personally think that that particular Barbara Walter’s special should have never been aired. There are some things better not put out there for public consumption. People start to get simular ideas…and start following suit…copying eveything they see and ear. We sadly live in a world of people who have stopped thinking for themselves…and merely seek to duplicate…follow…and do likewise. And for some people it is just simplier to assist certain behavior rather than try to work to stem it.
Isn’t that a horrible why to be?
Even worst…to have that kind of parent…or parents.
We would all have been in trouble with those kind of parents…that were that Barbara Walter’s special. Many parents from time to time feel helpless…but they do not give in to their helplessness. No, another force kicks in…and they step it up…to the next level. Parents have to…because all parents are faced with challenges when it comes to their children…at some point or other. And you just can’t throw up your hands saying-
“I just can’t do anything.”
At that point…some people know that there is one other thing. They start to pray. There is power in it.
Finally, no matter what Chastity’s decision concerning trying to alter her sex…she will always be known as woman…who had a sex change…if she proceeds with the operation and all those pills (which she probably already has done seeing how they have released the story). But she will never be known as ‘a man’…no matter what she does to herself. People may pretend…but in the back of their mind will be the fact that she was and will forever be…woman.
Well, in between, Chastity’s decision to change her sex…and that supposed man having another baby (another subject that I said I was not going to touch…as I have already given him rather her too much of my time already)…it has been a very busy week.
In the end Chastity will always be a woman who had the operation. That is how people will see her…never as a bonafided man. That only comes by birth. It is the way people think. And it is true really… and we should keep it that way.
Besides, if you are truly unhappy with yourself…do you really believe that changing your sex is going to do it?
I say no.
True happiness is something that you have to find within you first. Putting up pretenses…or making superficial changes…only brings about more unhappiness… and sadness.
How can you feel happy…when you put up a bunch of pretenses?
I have sat on the trains (the subway) in New York and watched the drag queens. Unless they were out partying and hanging with friends did I see any gaiety. Most of time when I saw them…I saw a lot of saddess…emptiness…and loneliness.
I also talked to some and knew some. It is how I knew of the inner conflicts. Which a lot of gay women have too. I didn’t I did…but I guess I must have. Because I am so happy that I am out of the life…and have no intentions of ever going back into it.
But we deal with those things without trying to destory ourselves in the process…or tear ourselves apart. And that is how I feel about sex change operation. It is very much like trying to go against the grain.
One other observation… Chastity’s girlfriend really looks a bit like her mother.
Well, enjoy your weekend. And I am still trying to catch up on my sleep.
UPDATE: ON CHAZ (Monday, September 5, 2011)….recently read that she will be on ‘DANCING WITH THE STARS’ this season. Needless to say there has been an outcry against it. And I am not really going to say much on it…except this.
Look for her to be voted off the show early. Controversy brings about higher ratings. And I have no doubt that some people are going to tune in just to see Chaz’ transformation for themselves.
That conversation was about gay men who had the operation. My cousin was trying to tell me that when the so-called ‘bottom’ partner… and not all gay men think as my cousin was trying to tell me.
What she was trying to tell me… as if she really knew anything about which she was talking about… that there was a thing known to gay males as the ‘bottom’ partner and the ‘top’ partner. That is while they are engaging sexually 1 male is always the 1 on the bottom, while the other sexual partner is the 1 taking him sexually from his position on the top.
While not all of them… gay males operate like that. And how do I know… because not all gay women operate that way either. Some do… but not most.
I know this because my cousin Vincent… a gay male… would tell me about some of his partners who would try to force him into taking them sexually… which he never did. But Vincent was not the norm… and had lost partners because of that. Anyway… my female cousin who was talking about this was talking like this was the norm for the masses… which is not true.
So, I told her that the real thrill in homosexuality did not come from anything more than knowing that it was ‘a man’ …or ‘a women’ depending upon the preference of the people dealing with each other sexually. And I told her this in an attempt to explain that once someone went through the operation of having their sexual organs changed… that also changed the whole dynamics of their relationship.
Real homosexuals only want someon of their own sex …be it a man or women. So, therefore if their lover underwent a sex change… they would cause many to get out of that relationship… because the person who underwent the sex change no longer had that part of them that attracted the other person to them in the first place.
Therefore, if the person’s mind becomes warted enough to want to take their body through some type of outter transformation… most elect to not touch their sexual organs. Which is what Chaz had also elected not to do.
And even if Chaz had chosen to do the entire thing …and get the whole thing done in terms of having had the final step done… the re-structuring of her sex organs… she still would be a woman. No matter what she does. It is utterly imposible to totally erase God’s stamp upon you …in terms of whom He has declared we shall be… male or female.
It is amazing to me how so many people like to talk about homosexuality as if they are in the know… and do not have any real understanding of it at all.
How in the world could my cousin…my female cousin… who had never really been in ‘the life’ as I had been… tell me anything about a life I was definitely a part of for many years… in regards to what our selections and sexual behaviors are that lifestyle?
I would know… because I lived the life. And in it we… lesbian women were always tied in things… events and discussions etc. with the gay male population. We shared spaces together, concerns, emotions, conflicts etc. all being homosexuals. Which I was at that time… I was in the gay lifestyle. And that is what Chaz is in… the gay lifestyle.
Having an operation can’t take you out of it… it can’t take you out of being gay. But it does indeed intrence you deeper in it. Because you are making some extreme choices that later you might just want to be able to step away from… if or when your mind …or prespective on this lifestyle changes.
This thing is deep…
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8 comments June 12, 2009
I was irritated that my son under any circumstance would find it okay for Chris or anyone of the male species to do what that boy did to that girl. He beat her…and one could say it was almost unmercifully done so.
I have really been trying to stay away from the subject because I do not know either him or her…nor much about them or their careers outside of this incident. But what did bother me was my son’s attitude and position on the subject.
I did see the pictures which had been released by the police showing how badly Rihanna, a young singer, had been beat at the hands of her boyfriend, Chris Brown. As young role models for thousands of teens who follow them closely…the incident sets a bad example and sends all the wrong messages to young teens regarding dating, abuse, power and acceptable male/female interactions…as well as, how to resolve issues and problems in a relationship.
Rightfully so, everyone with endorsements behind Chris Brown should drop him…as I have heard that for the most part they have.
I have no doubt that it has made Chris Brown think twice about his actions concerning taking his fist to fight his girlfriend…when males possess more than enough power to restrain and resist any attack against them from most women. So, yes…I believe that loosing all those endorsements have given Chris much to pause and consider.
So, much so that I have no doubt either that it has mostly been him trying to re-unite with Rihanna and get back their little relationship…because when you loose the kind of money I hear that Chris has lost since the story surfaced…not to mention his music being pulled from radio stations…and police charges.
If they don’t play you over the radio…your videos…it is all that is wrote for you…it is goodbye from there…the career is over.
You have got to have air time in order to sell music or anything else. Not to mention the legal charges. Yeah, I am sure…Chris went running to patch up that little miss understanding between him and Rihanna. I am sure…and real quick.
I wonder if he bought her a rock the size of the one Kobe bought for his wife?
Clearly, the type of anger exhibited by Chris Brown, a very young man of about 19 years of age…shows that he is indeed in need of intervention before it is too late…because someone at such an early age like him who exhibits that kind of rage or anger…may kill the next woman.
And my son has it all wrong…and I don’t care what he says.
And I better not catch him out there trying to beat up some woman. Or he will have to fight his mother next.
I think they are a beautiful couple.
Stop trying to bad mouth them with a bunch of nasty little rumors.
The Bible says…we can speak life or death into any situation…by the sheer power of the tongue.
What do they have to prove to us?
There are some people just jealous…and they seek to destroy any and everything thing or anyone they envy.
Out of all those Hollywood families…and Hollywood types…you do not see Will or Jada hanging out…or getting into trouble. Nor is there any bad press about them anywhere…or has there ever been. And then…along comes these ugly rumors.
Well, if you can’t find anything bad…I guess you just want to create it.
I admire and respect the Smith’s…Will and Jada…and their beautiful family. They are wonderful parents and excellent role models. I guess that might be why…the real reason why the rumors are flying.
Can’t believe that there are decent people in the world. But there are…look at the Obama’s another example of a great black family.
We do exist.
Biggie’s mother said, “Lil’ Kim is a white woman in a black woman’s body.”
How sick is that?
Since, Lil’ Kim showed up on Dancing with the Stars…with her new nose…people have been buzzing. In my opinion she has already wrecked the good looks she used to have…when she did the other things that she had done…including the over-sized boob job. If she keeps it up…she’ll be another one who won’t be able to leave the house without people running from her in fear…like Michael and some others.
Who in their right mind would really want to do this to themselves?
I didn’t see the movie…but my son is pretty good critic when it comes to some things. And I just happened to overhear a conversation about the movie…and everybody was agreeing on the same things. So, it has to be true.
And yes, the women on the tennis circuit have a good reason to be concerned over the 22 year old German, Sarah Gronert, who was born having both the male and female sex organs. Though a couple of years ago she had the male organs removed…she still remains stronger than any average woman because of her biological makeup.
Because of her biological makeup…having been born…both male/female…she does possess greater strength and endurance than
other woman could possibly have. And this would, therefore, give her a greater advantage over all of her contenders. Though they state that she has only won 2 tournaments since becoming a pro-player…it doesn’t mean that she wasn’t holding back her added strength until she really stepped into the big time…as she is only listed as being seeded as #619, compared to Serena being #1…and Venus #4 in the women’s world of tennis.
This reminds me of that story I shared with you a while back in another blog about the woman…who was really a man…who came to Salsa Soul, a lesbian organization, and joined…well, sort of. She had gotten really involved in the organization for a few months before the story of who she really was got around to all the members. Or I guess I should say…what she really was got around to all the members.
Though like Sarah has done…she was planning on having the operation. But unlike Sarah, however…she had not been born having dual sex organs…what they call in the new articles…male and female genitalia.
As I mentioned in my original blog on that story…the reason I refer to him as ‘her’…is really because that is what I met him as. Up until that point I had not met anyone like her. He was highly confused as I have come to now know and understand…as well as, I was. He wanted to live his life as a lesbian.
Yes, that is what I said…you have to read my original blog to come to understand the story.
But it was when she was appointed to become a board member of Salsa…that is when all the sisters and what was left of the founding mothers of the organization flew into Salsa one night and demanded a special meeting. They were not having it…and finally had it voted upon…that no one other than a ‘biological female’ from birth could become a board member of Salsa Soul Sisters, Inc.
Though she looked on the surface like a woman…I have no doubt that she possessed superior strength…but mentally could never really think like a woman…because it was not who she really was. All of her experiences had been different etc…etc… And besides…legally he was still a man…at that time.
My opinion on the subject. God does it best.
Even in regard to all that plastic surgery…God does it best.
The body is in constant evolution…from the time we are born until the day we die…our features change…age…mature. Sometimes for the best…many times for the best…but to some who would like to keep what they have…sometimes for the worst. But yet…God does it best.
Finally, I found this article to be highly bias and racist.
Here it is a woman journalist writing that women’s tennis has become boring and that women should not be paid the same amount of money as the men players. Had the top female players not been black…er- African Americans…I wonder if anybody would be complaining about the amount of money they were paid for winning tournaments?
I highly doubt it. These issues only come up when it is about us. It is a shame that we cannot celebrate each other…and our gifts…without bias-ness and racism showing its ugly head.
And he signed the agreement without the knowledge of his 2 other siblings…Martin the 3rd and Bernice King.
So, yes…little greedy Dexter is still at it.
How unfortunate for the other 2…but it is a wonder how the mother, Coretta Scott King, had removed Dexter from the foundation following several disputes with him over the direction he was trying to take the Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. Center for Non-Violence… at that time of which she was highly not in agreeance with.
Why would she have restored him as the head of the center if she knew then the type of disagreeable and selfish spirit that Dexter possessed?
So, Martin and Bernice…never become discourage…fight to the end. And even then continue to fight…because the tide always turns.
There was a point in our family matters…that I was told by my son-
“Ma, you’re not going to win. You should just go back to New York.”
At that time everyone on the planet would have agreed with my son. But God turned the table around. All the road blocks and stumbling blocks were swept away…and I am the one left standing. But for more than a few years it seemed that everything and everyone was against me. But it is true…you don’t need anybody else as long as you have the Lord on your side.
But I had considered what my son said…but conscience wouldn’t let me do it. It would have been far easier to have turned and ran from what was going on with my parent’s estate…and I figured- No, I knew…I was part to blame as I had never tried to intervene from the on-set though I was aware of the problems. But it was easier for me to look the other way at that time…until I was forced to come home and confront all the issues and problems that I had tried to avoid and had looked upon blindly for years.
I have had to pay for my errors…and have to work to build the bridges to bring our family back together. But I am the oldest and it is my responsibility…to not allow us to all fall apart from one another. Families are important…not really should they be allowed to be torn apart. But there comes a time where every ill thing must be addressed and corrected…and fallout does happen. In the end the family will be a lot stronger for it if it survives. But it has to happen…if indeed the family is to survive at all.
I have been so busy working on building my web site. As Fridays have rolled by…I have pushed hoping that by that weekend I would have at least posted a page or 2. It is not that I have not completed more than a few pages…but I am just such a stickler about everything. Everything has to be right…perfect…correct…the music…the photos…the navigation system…the color schemes etc. You name it and I become obsessed with it…but at the end of the day…you will not only like the site…but enjoy it. And that is all I will say on it for now…and hopefully by this Friday…I will have some pages posted. I’ll be working on it…believe that. Enjoy…
THE BISHOP’S WIFE is now on sale…CLICK this LINK to purchase my book. You do not need a paypal account to purchase, and you can purchase using a debit card. Thank you.
Thank you for reading this blog…and my others. Please be sure to continue to share this blog site with your family, co-workers and all your friends… “pass it on “
1 comment March 22, 2009
Biden… 1. Very strong factual information
2. Plenty of statistical facts to backup topics
3. Presented future Obama plans with force and clear understanding
4. Clearly cited his goals and job as Vice President
5. Talked firmly about terrorist, Bin Linden and foreign Policy
6. Clear understanding of problems facing America, American Policies and the world
2. Joked and kidded around a bit too much
3. Failed to fully layout or explain any explicit plans or goals McCain had for the country
4. Kept off topic a lot
5. Responses were rehearsed and quite orchestrated
6. Never explained anything fully and failed to use facts or figures to back up much of what she said
PALIN…Finding her legs
I have to admit to being somewhat impressed by Sarah Palin last night during the VP debate. She did hold her own even though I could tell that much of what she had said had been heavily rehearsed. But one thing about her…she gave it that old school girl try. Vastly out of her element…and to a very large degree knowing it as oftentimes even voiced by her during the debate…I have to say I admire her.
She was giddy and girlish through most of the debate…but you know what? I’m the same way when I’m nervous.
She is clearly not ready to become Vice President of the United States but that is not her fault. The scenario reminded me about one of my earlier blogs, ‘On the taboo subject’… where I wrote about a guy who wanted to be a lesbian. In the blog I made mention that he…well, she…but really he was nominated to become a board member of Sala Soul Sisters, an all women of color lesbian organization. He…well, she…but really he was nice and a very good worker. But there was one problem. He wasn’t really a woman.
I always thought it was unfair that one of the Sala Soul Sisters had nominated him for a position which she clearly knew he…well, she…no he couldn’t possibly fill. When the membership at large of Sala Soul Sisters heard of it they all came racing into a Sala Soul meeting one night and demanded to have an emergency meeting on the matter. They riled and argued…and finally voted on the matter of whether this person should be allowed on the board of Sala. Of course, the vote was against him…or her… But I always felt sorry for him…because he sat through it…that meeting where they talked about him…then voted that no one but a woman born biologically woman could ever sit on the board of Sala Soul Sisters. And I must say I agreed…but felt that she…well, he never should have been put through that.
He never came back to Sala after that…whereas he had not missed a meeting or any events or becoming actively involved in the organization. It was rather sad…but I felt the Sala Soul Sister who knowing that he was actually a male should never have nominated him in the first place. And that is kind of the way I feel about Sarah Palin.
McCain having chosen a woman who was not perpared to hit centre stage…and I am talking about becoming Vice President of the United States or possible President of the United States should anything happen to McCain…and I certainly do not mean it meanly either. She was neither polished, nor really had the credentials for the position that McCain had propelled her into.
If McCain could have made this kind of a huge mistake what other mistakes might he make if he were to become President of the United States? That job is one where…mistakes cost us all…and simply cannot be willingly made. We really can’t afford someone who is not thought out…or believes ‘he’s just being a maverick’…when he is actually just being foolish.
One cannot blame Sarah Palin really for any flumbs or gaffs…McCain is to fault. Because he put her in place where it is clearly not her time. Besides, the fact that Palin is a mother of 5 children still at home, with one still very much an infant…really should have gave McCain reason to pause before even considering her. But it was his own selfishness and blind ambition which lead him to pick someone whom he felt could give his campaign the boast that it so direly needed. And for a while she did.
But reality is reality…Sarah Palin is not ready. And I say this coming out of the debates liking her. Because I can truly admire her for attempting to do it…and not feeling that it was or is impossible. It speaks to human strenght and depth of character. So, clearly she is to be applauded…not joked or laughed at. But then…perhaps it was equally…Palin’s blind ambitions which have also gotten her here.
I have oftentimes wanted to do something…but knew I needed to learn something or do some other things before I would be ready to execute what it was that I was considering. I am not one for under-rating yourself…or over-rating yourself. I don’t like letting myself down or others. When I have stepped through the door to do something…I have always stepped through it knowing that no one worked as hard as I had…to do what I do. I guess you can say that I am wired to excell…never to under achieve…and always to give 101 percent. And you can’t do that unless you have first prepared and worked hard to gather the skills and expertise it takes to fill a job. Real success on any job or in any field cannot be done with in a few weeks and a crash course.
As we get nearer and near to November…please keep in mind that your vote does count. Your participation in this up coming election is curcial. If we don’t do something to set the country back on course we will all loose…rich or poor…advantaged or disadvantaged…Main Street and Wall Street…from shore to shore.
Definitely hope that you are registerd for this upcoming Presidential Election. It is so important…and may be the most important election of this century.
God bless…and thanks for reading ©2008
Add a comment October 3, 2008
And there was…the supposed man in the story…is really a woman living as a man who…I started to say had a sex change. But she couldn’t have otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to have the baby or get impregnanted.
I am naive on many things…and I truly am.
But there are somethings which clearly just irritate me.
Why go through all of the trouble of trying to present yourself as a man…and then want to get pregnant?
What was she trying to make a mockery of?
Herself or God?
He can’t be made a mockery of.
And then to have this picture of her…well, supposely him and the baby together. Well…
Was this just a media thang?
And now they…what? The gay couple exploit the child and their relationship? Selling their story to the tabloids and appearing on talk shows. Anything for a dime or a dollar.
I once knew someone…and I guess I still do…just that I haven’t seen them in a very long time.
When I first met this person I realized something was out of whack…but I could not put my hands on it.
She lived in the same town as a friend of mines…and I say she because really that is what I met him as…and have only known him as. Though I do realize to call him…her would be lying…though at the time of course I was not saved…nor trying to be.
It was my friend who informed of what I just couldn’t put my finger on.
She said to me one night…while we were all out at dinner or something I think…she said after the person had gotten up from the table-
“I know you kept saying that there was something strange…or something about her. So, I have decided to tell you. And don’t look over there at her when I tell you this.”
I said, “Okay. So, what is it?”
And she said…she ain’t a she.
I know I said I wouldn’t look over in her direction…but my head spun around so quickly. It was an automatic response. I could not believe it. I knew I had felt something was out of whack…but I never would have guessed it was that.
My friend immediately admonished me saying-
“I told you don’t look. Don’t look.”
But I could not help but look. In fact I was staring. I had never experienced anything like that before. It was adverse to me.
I thought that she was a woman and nothing could have prepared me for anything otherwise.
I told you I had been terribly naive…and to some degree still am.
That was at a time when I was heavily involved in gay life…hanging out…partying in clubs with women…and a member of Salsa Soul Sisters, Inc, in New York City. My life is by no means like that now but there was a time…almost 25 years of my life when that is what I did. Before that I was not sexually involved at all.
So, I had gone through grade school and college without any type of involvement. Never dated boys in my life.
I was just different from most people and lived a highly sheltered life under the wings of my parents.
It was in Salsa Soul Sisters that I met this person whom I had introduced to my friend who had just moved to New Jersey from St. Louis. Salsa was a lesbian organization…and I guess that is why I never would have guessed that this person had been anything other than a woman.
But this is the way it went…she was a guy who wanted to be a woman and then a lesbian.
When the Salsa Soul Sisters found out about this…every founding mother and everybody else stormed into Salsa one night…the record had to be set straight (no pun intented)…and they called an emergency meeting. Where it was voted on that no biological male could ever become a board member of Salsa. Because that was really the issue…not only did she want to become a woman and be a lesbian…but she also was nominated to run for a position on the board of directors of Salsa…and that of course was a no-no for any male…real or operated on…which at the time she was not. And the Salsa Soul Sisters were not having it…not at all.
You would have loved to have heard those women that night…it got pretty heated…and they were not playing.
In the end I felt sorry for him…because he was nice and had proven to be a good worker. But my Salsa Soul Sisters were right…and I had to agree with them.
Salsa was a black lesbian organization…the oldest in the world. And through their years some very well known women, writers, artist of every type…and professional women and otherwise…etc… have walked through their doors…including Audrey Lorde, June Jordan and many many many others…all Salsa Soul Sisters. Some very well known and widely read, and seen in media and all facets of the arts, performing and otherwise, as well as educators etc…all Salsa Soul Sisters. Exceedingly, talented women.
It was hard for me to grasp why she…he would want to dress up as an woman and engage in sexual activity with women as a lesbian. She was after all a man…by living his life as man…he would not have had any of the confusion that just knowing the story caused me and many of the other Salsa Soul Sisters.
And as much as they tried…tried to not say…many of those same women dated her…before and after that meeting.
There is much confusion in the world…and I am so glad to not have that type of confusion any longer.
I am so glad that God has reclaimed my life…and set me free from the bondage that once held me.
Perhaps as strange as I thought she was…she was not more strange than I was. One thing is for certain we were both lost. I don’t know about her or him today…but I have been set free. And I walk in liberty.
But there is one thing though…I will leave a pocketbook like most people forget an umbrella…because I am not used to carrying one. So, most of the time I don’t even bother with them…unless it is something like a bookbag…because I will walk off and leave it. Smile…and even that too may become a thing of the past.
It is so good to be free. I cannot thank the Lord enough…for saving me.
Have a good day… and God bless….
Oh, yeah…another Chinese word. wu bu dong …. means I don’t understand… wu is Chinese for ‘I’.
It has been raining most of the day and yesterday…but just as I was about to finish telling this story the ceiling started leaking. I look at it as a sign that the devil just doesn’t want me to tell this story. But I will tell it everywhere I go if need be…if it can encourage somebody or help someone else to find peace and deliverance in their life. I’m going to tell it.
I am oh so thankful….for the chance to share it with you.
It is funny…but the moment I wrote that last paragraph the ceiling stopped leaking. It is the power of God…to speak what he puts upon your heart to speak. I know that this blog is going to touch someone in a special kind of way…and I am so happy to be able to speak life and truth into your life. Be bless… ©2008
Add a comment July 24, 2008
This post is inspired by a sermon by Bishop Charles Ellis, III, of Detroit, MI, entitled “I’m Still Standing in an Upside Down World.”
There is something about my blog on ‘Gay Pride’ which plagues me somewhat.
I in no ways intended to say or make it appear that I agree with gay (same-sex) marriages. Oh, no… In no way could I do that. For those things which are wrong are wrong…and gay marriages are wrong. And certainly go against the will of God.
However, what I was trying to say was…that I thought it was interesting that many gay people want to get married whereas many heterosexuals (for whom marriage was intended) do not.
I think that we have to be very careful in making statements that make wrong seem right…and to some degree that blog may have seemed that way to some. But it was not intended that way.
The Bible says “With love and kindness have I drawn thee.”
So, therefore I cast no judgement upon anyone.
Yes, I have opinions but my opinions are not meant to comdemn.
I don’t like gay jokes…particularly from the culpit. Because there is nothing funny about sin. So, therefore no sin should become a joke.
Nor do I like speaking about being homosexual or heterosexual…as to speak in terms of sex is to be caught up in fleshy things…because sex has to do with the flesh. And it is something which we all have to battle against.
Speaking of which, you will have to read my book when it comes out, “The Bishop’s Wife”….a sho’nuf must read. I will tell you when you can get it…as it is already at the publishers…you can read about that in my very first first blog…under ‘self-publishing.’ Well, so much for my shameless plug for my up-coming book…“The Bishop’s Wife.”
I hope I have addressed the issue of same-sex marriages, pre-martial sex (all of which you can read in my ‘Gay Pride’ blog)… along with my stance on them and other things all through my blogs…of which, if you haven’t read them all…do indeed give them a read. And don’t forget to share this blog address www.bsmith101.wordpress.com with your family and friends…and co-workers…everybody! Enjoy…and thank you for reading.
Be kind to those around you. With love…champion your enemies.
I will never forget once being in downtown Brooklyn when I came across a young employee whom I had had a lot of problems with…but when she saw me downtown that day (which had been the first time she had seen me for some time)…when she saw me…she came running towards and threw her arms around me burying her head in my chest with such joy.
And I said to her as we conversed, “Patrina, I thought that you didn’t like me.”
And she answered saying, “Yes, Miss Smith. But you were fair.”
So, I say champion your enemies and they will run towards you…with open arms.
ps….I have been doing nothing but sleeping. I’m still trying to catch up to all the sleep I lost while being on vacation last week. ©2008
Add a comment July 14, 2008
When asked by a reporter about the possible outcome on Saturday, Venus said it this way…”It’s every woman for herself.
And those sound like fighting words to me.
Saturday morning in front of your television sounds like it could be one of the hotest seats to watch one of the most anticipated games in the Tennis World…Williams vs Williams in the play off of all play offs…the Wimbledon Ladies Final. And I plan to be right there with my eyes glued on every whizzing ball.
Depending which sister wins…it could mean Venus’ 5th Wimbledon win…which would the first for any woman…or Serena’s 3rd Wimbledon win…which would also set a record for sisters having won Wimbledon. But one thing is for sure in terms of cash money this will put both Venus and Serena over $20 million in tennis winnings…not pincluding their endorsements and those surely to come following this year’s Wimbledon.
Yes, they’re in the money.
Go girls…go. You mean lean tennis machines.
Well, today is the 4th of July and I hope you have something special planned.
A Bad Practical Joke…
Did I hear right?
Some man somewhere is supposedly pregnant?
I mean I saw it on some morning show. I could understand how it could happen if he were one of those babies borned with both sex organs. And they, his parents and pediatrician decided that the male parts were more prominent. But in order for him to be pregnant that would mean he was gay. But even so…how could he become pregnant from indulging like that?
It has got to be a prank. Or some type of medical mistake…because it is not physically possible. And it is certainly out of sync.
Well, I just heard the whole story on Mr. Mom. I knew it was out of whack.
Turns out it is a woman who became a man. Enough of that story…you can figure out the rest. I don’t have patience for it. Not that I am passing judgement. But I just don’t like people who want to play games.
If you want to be gay…be gay. But turn yourself into a man…as if that can really be done.
I mean who can really change what God has done?
You can camouflage yourself…my that I mean make changes to your exterior…but as this episode shows the inside can’t really be changed. But to go through the operation and do things to yourself and then want to give birth…well, I’ve already said it. It is just plain out of sync. And I have already spent too much time on the thang…which is probably the reason why it was all done in the first place.
The average gas here is $4.05 per gallon whereas in Massachusetts it is about $4.16 per gallon…and even more in Connecticut. And certainly a lot more in New York City.
On the highway while traveling here we found the gas prices to be about the same though at one Sunoco gas station it stated that the gas price was $3.98…at a station where you gas up first…hadn’t seen one of those in a very long time. But after we gased up we found out that the price was $3.98 after some type of rebate that you had to mail in for. Needless to say…that was highly deceptive and we weren’t too happy after being taken like that.
Detroit is big and spread out. Most of the roadways are at least 4 lanes wide with some as wide as 6. Imagine that…6 lanes wide going up Michigan Avenue.
The dealerships here are huge and are very classy, and the vehicles look different to me for some reason.
Practically everything here says GM or General Motors. There seems to be a lot of abandon buildings too all over the place. Detroit has very long stretches of roadway running all through it and over it. And along the way you can see the effects of loosing so many jobs by the auto industry blite that hit them.
They also have 2 casinos here in the heart of downtown Detroit. The place is loaded with nudie clubs, fast food restaurants, pizza places, Chinese food and plenty of soul food joints. And right across the water is Canada of which you can go and come as you like into Ontario.
But unlike New York City, the city isn’t quite as dirty. I can see what this place will look like in a few years…not that it looks so bad now…but nowhere as beautiful as Chicago.
From our hotel room we can look out at the Michigan River where fireworks are probably due to go off sometime later tonight. The waterfront is really fixed up and you can walk or jog along it…or just sit out and look across at Canada which really isn’t that far across from Detroit…maybe 4 miles or so if that far. And sometime during this trip besides going to Motown, I will have to get over into Ontario.
That reminds me…on the way over to the Cobo Center, Detroit’s convention center, there were two little girls on our shuffle bus service from the hotel. I was amazed by their conversation, they were talking about China…and these little children were maybe about 7 or 8 years old. And I was just really surprised to hear them engrossed in a conversation about something international. And then as the shuffle bus neared the Cobo Center, which sits on the waterfront, they started talking about Canada. These kids are way ahead of us…but it also just shows how much more prepared for tomorrows world they will have to be. So, it was interesting to hear those two young girls were already learning about these countries and had enough knowledge on them to entertain themselves discusing them in their spare time. I was happy to hear it.
Poor Christi Brinkley in divorce court for the 4th time. Poor woman she continually seems to make the wrong choice when it comes to men. And many women do it. Most of the time they reject the people who could be best for them for vain reasons such as looks or whatever. But looks should never be a reason for making such a decision as many people change so much over time that if that were your only or primary reason for saying ‘yes’ to someone…it is very much likely that you may find yourself in a marriage or situation that is wrong for you and not happy.
Well, so much for me pretending to be Dr. Ruth.
We’ve got to catch up with some family later for a cook-out. I have yet to meet them but I know it will truly be fun. My mother when she came to a convention here many years ago met them too for the first time which is how we knew that they were here. It is nice to find long lost family. So, it should be interesting.
Enjoy your day today. God bless…
…and oh, yes…happy 4th ©2008
Add a comment July 4, 2008